I'm lonely... Almost every third person on our planet can say or think so. Loneliness is such a state or a certain moment in life when an individual is left alone, either physically or mentally.

It's normal to experience this feeling for a while. It should be noted that often creative personalities longing to be alone with themselves. And this pastime becomes very fruitful. However, loneliness as a way of life is a very unfavorable condition for a person. It is especially problematic for men. Pain, loneliness and hopelessness are often experienced by older people.

This feeling is, as a rule, a problem of megacities and the youth living in them. Perhaps one of the reasons is the desire to draw attention to yourself and at the same time feel sorry for yourself. In any case, this is much easier to do than to acquire communication skills.

Hidden Problem

Representatives of the stronger sex rarely complain of loneliness. However, the effect of this condition on men is most detrimental. The one who prefers to live without an intelligent environment is likely to sink and gain bad habits in the form of a nocturnal lifestyle, untidiness, gambling and alcohol.

“I'm lonely,” say those men who do not have permanent friends or a beloved woman. This is a big problem. The reasons can be divided into two large groups. It is because of them that the representatives of the stronger sex over the age of thirty do not want to have a close environment.

The first group includes pathological causes. Among them are the following:

Infantilism;
- psychopathology;
- social phobia;
- underdeveloped contacts with people;
- inadequate self-esteem.

All of these reasons may overlap. That's it infantile personalities having inadequate self-esteem and poor communication skills. When forming relationships, it is important to be able to determine what sources the psychology of a single man has. If it is based on personal underdevelopment, then communication will have on the chosen one positive influence. Sometimes the reasons lie in psychopathology. Then the manifestation of attention can have negative and uncontrollable consequences.

There are also such reasons for loneliness, which are classified as existential. They can be the norm and enrich inner world person. Among them, one can single out loneliness, which is an element spiritual growth; serving as part professions; as an indicator of self-sufficiency of the individual; part of a culture acceptable to a person.

The problem of the elderly

"I'm lonely" - so many of those who have reached old age can say. The lack of a close environment for the elderly is currently a big social problem. Often, lonely old people complain about the feeling of abandonment and lack of demand, misunderstanding and alienation that comes from young people. However, they do not feel support and care from the state.

It is in old age that the problem of loneliness of a person lies in the absence of children, relatives, grandchildren. It also consists in the fact that the old man lives separately from the young members of his family. Sadness and loneliness cover in old age after the death of one of the spouses. Sometimes old people isolate themselves from other people because of their financial infirmity.

The solution is big enough social problem society should be taken over by the state, because the vulnerability and insecurity of the elderly do not allow them to independently find a way out of any difficult situation that has arisen in their lives.

Loneliness and health

The absence of a close environment to a large extent negatively affects the state of a person. This also applies to his health. It is worth saying that the harm from loneliness is much greater than from the common ailment of our time - obesity. American scientists published data from medical observations that allowed them to draw certain conclusions. Compared to obesity, which is detrimental to health human body Loneliness hurts the psyche. In order to prolong the years of his life, a person must communicate with people close to him, travel more and try to find a mate.

An interesting fact is that until the age of fifty you can be happy, even being lonely at the same time. Having crossed a half-century threshold, a person understands that he needs a soulmate or grandchildren.

female loneliness

The fair sex complains about the absence of loved ones much more often than men. There is a certain paradox in this. The phrase: "I'm lonely" is most often pronounced by those who are most surrounded by people.

A woman often experiences the absence of a close man as her inferiority. At the same time, the loneliness that the fair sex suffers from is more a feeling than a reality. This is often just a game of longing for those ladies who do not make contact, but are waiting for their prince. For women, feeling sorry for themselves and complaining about life is more familiar and easier than directing efforts to find a partner. Talking about the absence of decent men is undoubtedly easier than having a positive soul and watching your figure.

mythological type

female loneliness in certain moment characterized by the absence of a man with whom a lady could live together or at least meet. For example, a single mother can be included in this category. Such a woman has a hard time in life. She works hard and is forced to independently solve all the problems that arise on her way. Such a woman, as a rule, has her own house, and she can do whatever she likes in it. For example, spending the whole day on the couch reading a book, knowing about the mountain of unwashed dishes in the kitchen.

The psychology of a single woman is that there is no need to provide an account for her actions. She is overwhelmed with feeling dignity, as it provides for itself and has the right to vote, which can be used everywhere. If the fair sex does not have a close environment, then she can do everything free time give a hobby, dedicating it most life. In addition, it is much easier for a single woman to invite someone she wants to visit to visit her. Such a lady does not need to invent incredible stories after a night spent chatting with her best friend.

A single woman is independent in psychologically. She is not in a state of love, but at the same time she is comfortable and good. However, she is sometimes incredibly sad in the evenings that she spends with her child or with a cat. She has the opportunity to meet her the only love However, she is in no hurry to meet her.

Beautiful Prince

A lonely woman does not have a life partner, so she is in constant search. At the same time, she has a clear idea of ​​\u200b\u200bhow her loved one should be:

beautiful;
- high;
- rich;
- educated;
- smart;
- caring;
- responsible;
- honest;
- without children;
- held;
- unmarried.

In addition, it must contain mystery and charm. The only lover should be strong and cheerful, while being monogamous. But most importantly, it should not have any flaws. However real life not so often confronts us with princes.

myths

The psychology of a woman's loneliness pushes her to continue suffering. This is supported by various myths. So, the assertion that a chicken is not a bird, and a woman is not a person, pushes the lady to the opposite reasoning. They concern men. A certain stereotype is formed in the mind, which, of course, suggests that all men are unreliable, stupid and insensitive. Another characteristic myth is the assertion that a woman is able to stop a galloping horse and enter a burning hut. It shapes misrepresentation about being able to decide everything life problems without the presence of a man.

Reasons for suffering

Basically, a single woman is burdened by her freedom. She has to deal with the hardships of life on her own. However, no one helps her. The woman is burdened by the holidays that she meets in the company of the same lonely girlfriends.

Sometimes such a lady wants to talk heart to heart with someone, find sympathy and complain. In addition, she has no one to turn to for help. At the same time, society can also condemn, hanging the label of an old maid on a woman.

real loneliness

Sometimes a woman has a large circle of relatives and close friends. They fully support it and bear a certain responsibility. At the same time, a single lady does not always work. She can be given money by her parents or ex-husband, wealthy relatives or adult children. In this regard, it cannot be completely left to itself. Sometimes obligations to relatives are much harder family relations. At the same time, it is difficult for a single woman to be an independent person. This is done for her by children, relatives or friends.

There are times when a lady purposefully strives for loneliness. This allows her to heal her wounds and regain her peace of mind.

But be that as it may, it is worth remembering that loneliness for a woman is her personal choice. This state does not mean that she is second rate or fulfilled. wrong actions. This is independent choice personality.

Advantages

It has its positive aspects. They lie in the freedom to dispose of their time. At the same time, an independent lady can afford what a woman would not dare to be married. She does not need to look for approaches to her husband and adapt to his mood. She can make a career for herself, get an education and enjoy any hobby with pleasure. A woman not bound by family ties is her own mistress. She not only earns money, but also distributes it as she sees fit.

Even in the largest crowd, you can feel lonely. This feeling prevents you from living fully, enjoying every day, and moving towards new achievements. If there are no friends, a loved one nearby, then in a difficult moment there will be no one to support and console you, give valuable advice. However, not all single people are unhappy, for many it is conscious choice allowing you to develop in solitude. But there are few such individuals, most still suffer in the absence of family and friends. There is a feeling that something is always missing. How to deal with this feeling and learn how to use it positive side consider in the article.

Causes of loneliness

Feelings of loneliness can cause various factors but the main ones are:

There are many more individual reasons loneliness, and their awareness is the first step to a fulfilling life.

How to live alone

If you feel dislike for yourself, then you need to raise it. To do this, write your virtues on a piece of paper, fix the sheet in the most visible place. remember, that perfect people no, everyone has flaws. Use your strengths to love yourself. Upon reaching inner harmony people will be drawn to you.

Learn to really evaluate the people around us, do not follow stereotypes or first impressions. Even if you have loved blondes all your life, a swarthy brunette can become your real soulmate. And if the relationship does not work out, do not despair, there is still a lot of good ahead.

By creating an artificial image, you run the risk of being alone, because you will attract completely inappropriate men. When masking your fictional flaws, remember to be yourself. Hair and makeup must

Take care of your wardrobe. , but should emphasize your dignity, have a pleasant color, be clean and ironed. Regularly go to the hairdresser, do a manicure. You need to smile more often and try to see the positive in the world around you. This will certainly transform your look, facial expressions and gestures.

It hurts in the soul longing for loneliness

Each of us is lonely in our own way. We are born and leave alone. Maybe friends act only as extras, and is it really necessary? After all, it has been proven more than once that in the sorrows of a friend, they rarely remain nearby.

Each of us has a natural need for communication, but this does not mean that you can be a friend. Conversation with unfamiliar people at a convenient time can be easy and pleasant, occurs when you want it. But to have a friend, and be close to him in right minute not everyone can and wants to.

With the advent of the family, there are more worries, and the social circle narrows. For maintenance friendly relations lack of energy and time. You also get tired of relatives and friends. Therefore, the concept of loneliness is no longer associated with something bad, but is perceived as an opportunity for relaxation, self-development and new emotions. In addition, communication currently takes place via the Internet, without direct contact. An interlocutor of interest can be found on thematic forums, chats at any time.

Natural features, temperament also affect a person's attitude to loneliness. If by nature you are an introvert who enjoys communicating with yourself, within the walls of your own home, then you will not suffer from the lack of noisy companies. Living alone for introverts is quite comfortable. Plus, there are very few true friends. Not everyone will be lucky enough to have them, and friends and acquaintances do not want to delve into other people's problems, help, empathize. So maybe you shouldn't suffer from the absence of such people in your life? Direct all your energy to get the most out of life, travel, discover new places.

How to get rid of loneliness

There are a number useful tips, which will help to avoid worries about your loneliness:

A good way to get positive is playing sports. In addition to the fact that there will always be active like-minded people nearby, you will improve your health.

Don't dwell on the problem. Many people consciously choose to be alone, enjoying being with themselves. Periods of loneliness happen in the life of every person. For some, they sometimes become despondency and melancholy, others use them for relaxation, raising the level of education, broadening their horizons. What it will be for you, it's up to you.

Do not think that family people do not experience loneliness. Many married ladies remain misunderstood and unheard, they live in a couple only for the sake of social status. Is it worth it to remain unfree and unhappy, or to live quietly alone, everyone chooses differently. The main thing is not to be inactive, but to move, develop, enjoy every day you live in the company of yourself.

In words, we all dream of the “same” person who will share life with us in half, support us in sorrow and joy, and dispel lonely longing.

But the reality is that unconsciously people protect themselves from potential companions, do not find time for personal life and are afraid of disappointment. What are the causes of loneliness and how to overcome them?

There are many qualities due to which people cannot find a companion, sometimes opposite. One is overestimated, the other is underestimated.

Some are distrustful of everyone, while others, on the contrary, idealize previous partners. If you are serious about a relationship, identify the personal cause of loneliness and try to overcome it.

The main causes of loneliness

1. Fighting attitude, labeling, conflict, heightened self-esteem, pride, selfishness, ostentatious self-sufficiency. Such a lady can be seen a mile away (and there is no desire to come closer).

All men for her are divided into several types, one worse than the other. She ridicules shortcomings in her face, seems to be a terribly smart and cynical person who drank plenty of love and disappointment.

She will easily hurt anyone who comes up for the sick, and loneliness for her - defensive reaction from resentment and humiliation.

2.Closure, involvement in an imaginary world. In the era of social networks, online games and forums, it is increasingly difficult to get the lady of the heart out of the house on sunlight. Plunging into virtuality, people break away from reality - and from each other.

3. Passivity. Not everyone is in the nature to take the initiative, hang out, get to know each other and take the bull by the horns. Moreover, everyone was told that it was indecent for a girl to show interest first.

Therefore, a significant number of ladies maximum, what they do is sit down at the bar counter, order a cocktail and wait for princes to fall from the sky on it. And in worst case they hope to meet the Man of Dreams right at home, on the couch, watching their favorite series and eating chips.

TIP: You can be active in different ways. No one forces you to grab the sleeve of the first handsome man and drag him to him.

But you can leave the house more often, sign up for a popular fitness center, walk in big companies and agree to friendly gatherings, even if the TV is on. new season"Sherlock" (look at the recording with the new boyfriend).

4. Brokenness, complexes, closeness, vulnerability, low self-esteem. Fear that the person will be hurt again. In her youth, every girl came across a guy who lives under the slogan "married and abandoned."

Some came out of this test as winners: they wound up on their mustache that it is necessary to carefully select partners and that not every relationship ends in marriage.

Others ended up with their tails between their legs and the fear of another disappointment after the betrayal. They hid in their shells and are waiting for a dirty trick from everyone they meet.

TIP: Internal tightness repels potential partners, keeps them at a distance. If you cannot cope with mental wounds on your own, consult a psychologist or take up spiritual practices, yoga. Harmony with oneself is the best magnet for the opposite sex.

5.Critical attitude and youthful dreams, far from reality and dictating excessive demands on opposite sex often end in loneliness. While rosy-cheeked girls are dreaming about Jude Law, no less cute and much more accessible guys walk nearby.

On the other hand, even lowered requirements do not bring success: a boring marriage with a lazy person, scoundrel, sissy and henpecked will quickly exhaust itself.

TIP: Need golden mean. Treat yourself as demandingly as you treat the opposite sex. Evaluate yourself soberly, objectively and adequately. Whether you're a top model, Kylie Minogue's sister, or the daughter of an oil magnate, look forward to the prince in a snow-white Hummer.

If not, look around and look for a man by status. Cinderella tales are written for children, and not every girl is endowed with an angelic disposition and is ready to meekly carry out her stepmother's orders for the sake of such a happy ending.

6. Bad experience communication, subconscious fear of repeating previous mistakes. Sometimes it seems that getting rid of loneliness and finding a mate is simply not destiny. Everything is against you, each attempt further deprives you of hope.

Girlfriends introduce you to alcoholics and rude people, in clubs everyone dreams of quick and affordable sex, the last boyfriend took out a loan in your name and ran away ... To be alone is easier, and more reliable?

7.idealization of first love- the opposite cause of loneliness. A successful experience is even more harmful than a bad one: strong feelings, passions, oaths to the grave and meetings under the moonlight ...

Separated by fate (parents, relocations, studies, careers, priorities), both give up. He was special - we believe you! - but not the only one. And, most likely, not so ideal.

Psychologists believe that if Romeo and Juliet had not died, they would have had to divorce because of "irreconcilable differences."

8. Parental education based on prohibitions and dogmas also contributes. From a young age, the father and mother give the girl puritanical guidelines, do not accept her chosen ones, consider sex a taboo topic.

In search of an acceptable match, many of these modest, conservative, insecure and bashful virgins meet old age.

9. Socially imposed stereotypes and lack of time. Today it is fashionable to be self-sufficient, busy, active, strong spirit special with twelve cats in an empty apartment.

Women are becoming feminists, protesting against the bondage of marriage and patriarchal family values.

Emancipe girls rebuff anyone who hints at romance and elevated feelings. Graduates prestigious universities prefer to build a career rather than spend time on personal life.

There is always time. If a used to be a woman at 30 she was already considered an old maid, then today and at 40 it’s not too late to start building a family (the age remains childbearing).

However, postponing everything “for later”, there is a risk of not returning to thoughts about the family hearth and the advantages of a marriage union: the bachelor habit will make itself felt. That is why people who have not found a mate before the age of 35-45, most often remain lonely - take note.