What is self-criticism. Self-criticism is an extremely useful tool if you know how to customize it for yourself.

Is self-criticism good or bad? Or is there some measure to be taken? And how is self-criticism different from self-criticism?

Samoyedism, in addition to asserting one’s inferiority, can also lead to “positive changes” on the external plane (improvement of the figure-appearance, manifestations in relation to people, work and other duties), especially if a person is strong-willed. But we will try to figure out whether it is “good or bad” for our Soul.

Disadvantages (in our human understanding) are all. And first of all, you need to allow yourself to be a person NOT IDEAL. That is, accept yourself. Whether this was done in an honest way is not difficult to understand, watching what is happening inside us. If the observation (or detection) of some kind of imperfection in oneself leads to a BIG (long-term) internal emotional discomfort, a person gets upset, worries, his mood deteriorates, self-esteem decreases, and in fact often they fall into depression about their imperfection, then such self-criticism ( or self-criticism, call it what is closer to you) accurately speaks of our idealization, which we must get rid of, and goes to the detriment of our Soul. The degree of such rejection, of course, can be different. Depending on this, we “evaluate” whether we harm ourselves or not. Although, for your own benefit, you should also get rid of not very strong feelings on this occasion. And remember, of course, that some of our imperfect manifestations can be part of the Divine plan in relation to our loved ones and to ourselves, not to assume that we ALWAYS choose everything ourselves, but to TRUST. And on the basis of this trust - accept.

Someone, after reading, will think that I am against working on myself. Of course not. But the trick is (or rather, this is one of the laws of the universe) that when we stop striving too hard for the ideal, it becomes easier for us to achieve.

Self-criticism is not self-rejection, it is a vision of one's mistakes and mistakes. It is a willingness to change. But self-criticism is eternal dissatisfaction and low self-esteem.

You can say so ... Or you can argue. What are "misses"? What are "mistakes"? Now I believe that they do not exist at all, but there is only EXPERIENCE. Who are we in general that we undertake to judge our own, and even more so other people's, actions and call them “mistakes”? A person is so blind in his fate (probably for his own good - I don’t dare to judge this), we cannot know what awaits us behind the next “turn”, but we are in a hurry to get upset and put ourselves (and others) negative ratings. There is only one way out - to TRUST what is happening. You can't really go wrong with this.

By the way, right on topic! One of our group members sent me some great thought quotes. famous people, and one of them is: “I have not been defeated. I just found 10,000 ways that don't work." The words are by Thomas Edison. If someone has an inner desire to argue with this person, google his name and find out an extensive list of his personal achievements. How many of us who are "self-critical" have managed to do at least part of this? I think such a person can be trusted in the matter under discussion.

Self-criticism (Self-criticism) as a quality of personality - the ability soberly assess their actions and admit mistakes; the tendency to identify shortcomings in their work, in their behavior.

A man came to a master and asked: - What should I do to become wise? The teacher replied: - Come out and stay there. And it was raining outside. And the man was surprised: - How can this help me? But who knows, everything can be ... He went out of the house and stood there, and the rain poured and poured. The man was completely wet, the water penetrated under his clothes. Ten minutes later he returned and said: - I stood there, now what? The master asked him: - What happened? While you were standing there, was there any revelation given to you? The man replied: - Opening? I just thought I looked like a fool! Master said: - This is a great discovery! This is the beginning of wisdom! Now you can start. You are on the right track. If you know that you are a fool, then the change has already begun.

“The smartest of all, in my opinion, is the one who calls himself a fool at least once a month - an ability now unheard of! - wrote F.M. Dostoevsky.

On self-criticism to a large extent built personality development. In order to personally grow, improve, you need to be strict, self-critical to yourself. Criticism towards others should be suppressed, self-criticism towards oneself should be encouraged, without turning into self-flagellation and self-blame. The result of self-criticism should be some kind of vow, asceticism, self-study, and not fruitless self-digging and self-humiliation.

From negative self-criticism there is no point. Self-criticism for the sake of self-criticism is an act unworthy of reason. From it there is only harm, expressed in a blow to self-esteem and the formation of numerous complexes. Self-criticism is good if, with its help, we have diagnosed the manifestation of vicious personality traits in ourselves and begin to actively engage in self-education - the cultivation of virtues in ourselves, which, having become stronger, neutralize the identified vices. That is, the task of self-criticism: to locate the voice of vicious personality traits and cover them with developing virtues.

The advantage of self-criticism is that it allows you to look at yourself soberly, without prejudice. After that, a person can not tendentiously look at the world. One-sided criticism is always flawed because of its superficiality and saturation with pride. It gives a distorted, illusory vision of the world, generates selfishness and vanity. Francois de La Rochefoucauld wrote: "We scold ourselves only to be praised."

Having developed self-criticism in oneself, a person begins to live according to his conscience, which means he sees more purity and beauty in the world. Criticizing yourself in reasonable limits, the person begins to respect others more. The presence of self-criticism is considered a condition mental health personality. Objective and realistic assessment own forces and weaknesses, strengths and weaknesses are part of a healthy self-acceptance.

Psychologists believe that self-criticism is “the ability to take a detached look and evaluate yourself and your actions; see your own mistakes and correct them if possible. Self-criticism is an attitude towards one's thoughts, words and deeds without prejudice in one's own rightness. Self-criticism is a sober assessment of oneself and one's actions in various circumstances, it is a combination of the mind that allows you to see your mistakes and the courage that allows you to admit them. Self-criticism is the absence of self-admiration in the presence of self-respect. Self-criticism is an active desire for one's own personal growth».

Self-criticism is a sign that a person is under the influence of the energy of goodness. People who are under the influence of the energy of passion and ignorance, as a rule, believe that only they are good, and the rest are a bunch of vices. They scold the world, their environment, look for flaws in others, show dissatisfaction with everyone and everything. A person in goodness sees shortcomings in himself. This is active self-criticism. Correcting yourself, taking into account your mistakes is much easier than changing other people. In other words, a person in goodness engages in active, effective self-criticism, for he sees own shortcomings and develops dignity. Being under the influence of the energy of passion, he criticizes those who are not with him. An ignorant person criticizes everyone indiscriminately. For him, the only God is himself.

Reasonable self-criticism is an honest recognition of your shortcomings. Self-criticism should in no way coexist with an inferiority complex and destructive feeling guilt. Complexity is the result of stupid self-criticism. Professor Melanie Fennell writes: " notorious people label themselves (“stupid”, “not competent enough”, “unattractive”, “a worthless mother”) because of any difficulty or failure. This attitude provokes complete disregard positive qualities. As a result, a person sees himself only from one side. Hence the excessive self-criticism.

Self-criticism in friendship with reason is a sign of spiritual developed personality. When a person humbly tunes in not to his self-justification and self-deception, but to the energy of his spiritual guide, he finds an explanation for his behavior, and what it should be, and not what he wants. Realizing his indecency, he begins to repent. That is, self-criticism is realized correctly if a person has the right attitude- without resentment, pride and stupidity. Self-criticism is effective as long as a person believes in himself. Without faith in oneself, it turns into self-crushing, self-destruction.

Self-criticism is the ability of people who are developed, mature and holistic. A person who is not able to admit that he is wrong somewhere is a disabled person of self-criticism. That is, he is not capable of introspection, self-examination, self-criticism. Mature man calmly, benevolently looks at the world, does not encroach on anyone, does not try to put pressure on anyone, change, teach.

For real self-critical person understands that he is not perfect, that, like everyone else, there are shortcomings in him in a manifested or unmanifested form, therefore, accepting himself, he allows himself to be imperfect, while doing everything possible to level his shortcomings by being fed and carefully raised virtues.

Self-criticism should not cripple a person. If, by criticizing oneself, a person experiences stress, tramples on his self-esteem and crawls into depression, it means that he is not engaged in self-criticism, but self-liquidation, it means that he has been attacked by idealizations and various redundancies, extremes and excesses. Proper self-criticism pushes a person to move on in terms of personal growth. It is impossible, having looked into yourself self-critically, to feel disrespect for yourself. The poet Igor Huberman wrote in this regard:

Handsome, smart, slightly stooped,
Filled with worldview.
Yesterday I looked into myself
And he left in disgust.

A young writer once told Mark Twain that he was losing confidence in his writing talent. Have you ever had similar feelings? - asked the writer. “Yes,” Twain replied. - Once, when I had been writing for fifteen years, I suddenly realized that I was absolutely mediocre. - And how did you do it? Stopped writing? - Yes, how could I? By that time I was already famous.

Petr Kovalev 2014

Healthy self-esteem, a sober analysis of actions, thoughts and desires, constructive criticism and self-criticism are integral elements of self-knowledge. But what to do when self-criticism becomes excessive, interferes with work, love? Let's talk about it.

Self-criticism is an exploratory, analytical attitude of a person towards himself, an assessment of actions, thinking and their results, the search for and recognition of one's own mistakes. Self-criticism is a character trait.

Self-criticism is closely related to:

If the latter is underestimated, then the person constantly considers himself unworthy, bad, guilty of all the world's troubles.
If self-esteem is too high, then the person does not know how to admit mistakes, avoids responsibility, considers himself the best.
Only adequate self-esteem provides adequate self-criticism.

Objective and subjective criticism

Objective criticism is an assessment of the facts. Subjective criticism- attitude based on personality.

AT broad sense objective assessment can be represented as an understanding of a certain, and subjective - as overall rating personality based on just one trait. What does it mean: I am forgetful, but this does not make me an incompetent employee or a bad friend, I can write important details. Or: I am hot-tempered, but I can keep my composure, which makes me a good person.

Objective criticism usually gives accurate data, contains almost no evaluation. Subjective criticism often wears evaluative nature"good bad". For example, a person considers himself miserable, worthless. But if he looks solely at the facts, he will see that he has made good progress in career ladder, motivates friends, and in general is much happier than others. Where did the attitude of worthlessness come from in the first place? This is a belief that was once someone's subjective criticism.

The exactingness of parents, inadequate censure, punishment, humiliation, insults, lack of praise give rise to an attitude of worthlessness and act as a prerequisite excessive self-criticism. In adulthood such people do not give themselves the right to make mistakes. And our goal is to learn how to turn any subjective (personal) opinion into an adequate objective assessment (criticism).

Is this good or bad

Self-criticism is harmful when it turns into self-criticism, self-digging.

One of the reasons for such behavior is the ambivalence of feelings, motives, and emotions. When a person himself does not clearly know what he wants, he often comes into conflict with himself. Then constant self-digging and self-criticism become a way of life.
The basis of self-criticism is the internal motives, beliefs, principles, goals of the individual. But if the person himself has not decided in life, then other people's systems of beliefs and values become guidelines. This is the second reason why excessive self-criticism occurs.
The third reason is the absence. If an individual does not understand where his responsibility is, and where the fault of another person is, what he can control and over what he is powerless, then all failures, difficulties, problems will be chalked up.

Excessive self-criticism suppresses independence, initiative. How more people convinced that he fails again, the more and less desire to try something appears.

Due to constant censure, self-esteem decreases even more. Along with this comes shame. They become chronic, and later transform into,.

How to get rid of excessive self-criticism

Stupid, unattractive, stupid - those who grew up in adverse conditions children. Our psyche is designed in such a way that external environment we find confirmation of what we believe. So people with complexes do not just criticize themselves, but find a completely adequate explanation for their assessment.

Every person has positive and negative qualities makes mistakes and wins. It is also important to see your shortcomings, but at the same time you must not forget about positive side. With this, you need to start working on getting rid of excessive self-criticism.

Stick to the following plan:

Ask a good friend to write your description. Let an independent person write out your strengths and weak sides, advantages and disadvantages. You can try and do it yourself, but perhaps the effect is still negative thinking it won't work the first time.
Allow yourself to recognize success, to praise yourself. Perhaps as a child you were scolded, success was not noticed, and an adequate demonstration of achievements was called boasting. Understand that you can and should be proud of yourself. Let yourself step back from .
Stop comparing yourself to others. Sometimes we forget that people have different abilities, capabilities, properties of the psyche and. There is no point in blaming the phlegmatic for slowness or asking the choleric to do monotonous work with high quality and for a long time. It will be very difficult for both of them to do this. Learn to focus only on yourself, understand your features and use them to your advantage. Do not demand the impossible, then you will not have to blame yourself.
Analyze what images arise at the moment of self-criticism, feelings of discomfort due to another failure. surely tells you where to look for the roots bad habit. Who do you think about, whom do you remember, whose voice do you hear?
Now think about whether this person's assessment was objective? Or he just took out his negativity on you. It is possible that your self-criticism is the result of someone's envy, resentment, anger. It is even more likely that these feelings were not directed in your direction, you just happened to be in the wrong place.
Do not forget to analyze the basis of thoughts: facts or speculation. A biased assessment is the result of the work of imagination, inventing, sensations. Always ask: is this the way it is, or does it seem to me, I think so?

The most difficult thing in work is to notice manifestations of self-criticism, to learn to isolate negative attitudes. Keeping a diary will help with this. During the month every critical situation write according to the following plan:

what's happened;
what I said to myself (self-criticism);
what emotions and feelings I experienced;
how I proceeded.

Make it look like a table, compare records regularly. You will soon notice that stressful situations and the result of self-flagellation are similar to each other, which means that the fight will be easier than you think. You will also notice how negative thoughts destroy you, cause negative feelings, constrain actions or make you act in a way that is completely unhelpful for you.

When the problem becomes obvious, supplement the tables. Enter the item “alternative assessment of the situation” and “result of a new assessment”. Look at each situation from a different angle, understand that you could not foresee some events or something was beyond your competence. Then assess your emotions, feelings and state of the alternative perception. How do you deal with such a scenario? Are these results more satisfying to you, are they more beneficial?

Remember that there are no right and wrong options in the tables. You are simply describing yourself, your thoughts, your life. Don't worry if it's hard to find alternatives at first. You learn to look at the situation differently, not to perceive yourself one-sidedly, to find explanations, excuses, to emphasize your strengths. This will take several weeks or even months. But then you will automatically analyze each difficult situation and at the same time see their objective role in it.

Excessive self-criticism turns into self-humiliation. This is a must to get rid of. Spend written analysis every situation where you feel worthless. Soon you will notice the destructiveness of such thinking, and then, on a conscious level, you will select a plan to change it.

Self-criticism is a habit of a person to focus on their shortcomings, while people, most often, do not notice the existing advantages.

Self-criticism is the habit of a person to focus on their shortcomings. At the same time, people, most often, do not notice the existing advantages. They are sure that they do not deserve great benefits and do not have significant achievements in life, although such a purely individual opinion is not always true. Developed self-criticism deprives them of the opportunity to look at the situation from the outside and find meaningful prospects for themselves. A person who is excessively immersed in his own experiences may not notice what is happening around him for a long time. All thoughts and feelings of the individual are concentrated only on the negative aspects of their own person. Is there any way to get rid of these unpleasant feelings? How to get rid of self-criticism and what is it?

Manifestations of self-criticism

Self-criticism is fairly easy to recognize. Usually people themselves notice the habit of looking at everything with negative side. At the same time, their own mistakes and shortcomings are seen as much more catastrophic than they really are. Manifestations of self-criticism are easily evident.

Finding flaws

The habit of always and in everything to evaluate one's actions can provoke the formation of sustainable behavior in search of flaws in oneself. Being engaged in self-criticism, the individual is internally convinced that he does not deserve anything good in life. All his individual aspirations and dreams in literally disappear. He just stops thinking about them, making any attempts to achieve the desired result. Any action seems insignificant and insignificant. Often people turn down opportunities before they even try anything. After all, if you constantly look for flaws in yourself, then you can be able to find them. Self-criticism greatly interferes with a happy self-consciousness. You can lock yourself in a cage for a long time out of fears and doubts, and life time will pass past.

Analysis of past actions

Self-criticism makes you constantly return your thoughts to long-past events. A person begins to comprehend them and relive them under the influx of a large number emotions. It may even seem to him that the old problems that he tried to avoid in the past have returned. Analysis of past actions is good only when we are able to learn some positive lessons. Otherwise, such self-criticism can easily break from the inside. From this, unfortunately, no one is immune.

Self-doubt

A clear sign of developed self-criticism in a person is self-doubt. Such an individual notices only shortcomings in himself, while not striving to work on himself. Self-doubt often prevents learning something new, starting to notice own virtues. When we constantly engage in self-criticism, the whole world is seen in a black, frightening color. The person does not see any prospects in himself and does not understand how to correct the depressing situation.

Suspicion

People with developed self-criticism are extremely distrustful. Before they begin to trust a new acquaintance, months and even years of continuous communication can pass. However, in reality, it often turns out that they have few friends, since they lack the ability to open their souls to people. The individual often does not understand that, with the help of intense self-criticism, he fences himself off from people. Suspicion does not make it possible to be happy.

How to get rid of self-criticism

Self-criticism, if it interferes with life, must be fought. If this is not done, then there is a great risk of getting stuck in personal experiences for a long time and not being able to get out of there. Let's take a closer look at the most effective methods work on your mind.

Taking responsibility

Before you start making any attempts to eliminate self-criticism, you must take full responsibility for what is happening. Often we ourselves choose what action to take in a given situation, but for some reason we blame others for unsatisfactory consequences. If a person takes full responsibility for what happens, he will soon find that he can be fully responsible for his actions to the mind and heart. Such a phenomenon as self-criticism will be defeated.

Feeling analysis

When a person seeks to answer himself the question of what he feels at a given moment, his reflective ability increases. He will no longer allow himself to be deceived by his own disturbing thoughts, he will not question his strengths. Self-criticism needs to be corrected. The ability to analyze feelings can be useful in any situation where you need to control yourself. If a person can calm his feelings and freely name emotions, he eventually gains some inner freedom which no one can really take away. Feeling analysis is incredible useful thing in the fight against self-criticism. The main thing is to have a desire to act, not looking back at the opinions of others.

"Piggy bank" of success

Fixing your own victories helps to cope with expressed self-criticism. You can get yourself a separate notebook or notebook, where you can enter individual successfully completed cases. So a person will be able to switch attention from shortcomings to their own merits. Such a “piggy bank” of successes should be available to everyone who wants to become happier, to begin to notice their own merits. This method must be adopted, working with self-criticism. It will help raise your self-esteem required level. As a result, self-confidence will begin to grow, which means that the habit of constantly scolding yourself for any reason will eventually disappear on its own. Having begun to store our own achievements, we inevitably come closer to understanding our individual value. Self-criticism simply cannot develop further in such conditions.

Favourite buisness

When a person is engaged in what he is really interested in, his self-confidence grows. He inevitably begins to reveal his strengths and demonstrate them to others. inner feeling freedom from circumstances and depressing thoughts does not appear immediately, but after some time. Favorite business helps to restore peace of mind, gives inspiration and a desire to act, despite significant obstacles. Having got rid of unnecessary self-criticism, people sometimes discover such amazing perspectives in themselves, the existence of which they simply did not suspect before. Some begin to engage in creativity, others are actively building their own business, others are happy to raise children.

Thus, in order to free yourself from self-criticism, you must definitely know how to work on yourself and own character. The ability to look at the world positively will help not only restore peace of mind, but also to gain additional features previously only dreamed of.

If you can't solve the problem yourself, you can seek advice from the center of psychology of Irakli Pozharisky. Working with a specialist will help you deal with a difficult situation.

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Phobias

Self-criticism is the pursuit of excellence.
M. Gorky

It is not necessary to stoop to rudeness in self-criticism.
V. Usachev.

It is necessary to treat with a strong remedy,
outwardly a secretive dialect!
Accept against internal troubles
The inner medicine of self-criticism.
Vladimir Mayakovsky

Self-criticism (Self-criticism) as a personality trait - the ability to soberly evaluate one's actions and admit mistakes; the tendency to identify shortcomings in their work, in their behavior.

“The smartest of all, in my opinion, is the one who calls himself a fool at least once a month - an ability now unheard of! - wrote F.M. Dostoevsky.

Personal development is largely built on self-criticism. In order to personally grow, improve, you need to be strict, self-critical to yourself. Criticism towards others should be suppressed, self-criticism towards oneself should be encouraged, without turning into self-flagellation and self-blame. The result of self-criticism should be some kind of vow, asceticism, self-study, and not fruitless self-digging and self-humiliation.

There is no point in negative self-criticism. Self-criticism for the sake of self-criticism is an act unworthy of reason. From it there is only harm, expressed in a blow to self-esteem and the formation of numerous complexes. Self-criticism is good if, with its help, we have diagnosed the manifestation of vicious personality traits in ourselves and begin to actively engage in self-education - the cultivation of virtues in ourselves, which, having become stronger, neutralize the identified vices. That is, the task of self-criticism: to locate the voice of vicious personality traits and cover them with developing virtues.

The advantage of self-criticism is that it allows you to look at yourself soberly, without prejudice. After that, a person can not tendentiously look at the world around him. One-sided criticism is always flawed because of its superficiality and saturation with pride. It gives a distorted, illusory vision of the world, generates selfishness and vanity. Francois de La Rochefoucauld wrote: "We scold ourselves only to be praised."

Having developed self-criticism in oneself, a person begins to live according to his conscience, which means he sees more purity and beauty in the world. By criticizing oneself within reasonable limits, a person begins to respect others more. The presence of self-criticism is considered a condition of the mental health of the individual. An objective and realistic assessment of one's own strengths and weaknesses, strengths and weaknesses is part of a healthy self-acceptance.

Self-criticism is a sign that a person is under the influence of the energy of goodness. People who are under the influence of the energy of passion and ignorance, as a rule, believe that only they are good, and the rest are a bunch of vices. They scold the world, their environment, look for flaws in others, show dissatisfaction with everyone and everything. A person in goodness sees shortcomings in himself. This is active self-criticism. Correcting yourself, taking into account your mistakes is much easier than changing other people. In other words, a person in goodness engages in active, effective self-criticism, because he sees his own shortcomings and cultivates his own virtues. Being under the influence of the energy of passion, he criticizes those who are not with him. An ignorant person criticizes everyone indiscriminately. For him, the only God is himself.

Reasonable self-criticism is an honest recognition of your shortcomings. Self-criticism should in no way coexist with an inferiority complex and a destructive sense of guilt. Complexity is the result of stupid self-criticism. Professor Melanie Fennell writes: “Insecure people label themselves (“stupid”, “not competent enough”, “unattractive”, “bad mother”) because of any difficulty or failure. Such an attitude towards oneself provokes a complete disregard for positive qualities. As a result, a person sees himself only from one side. Hence the excessive self-criticism.

Self-criticism in friendship with the mind is a sign of a spiritually developed personality. When a person humbly tunes in not to his self-justifications and self-deception, but to the energy of his spiritual mentor, he finds an explanation for his behavior, moreover, the way it should be, and not the way he wants. Realizing his indecency, he begins to repent. That is, self-criticism is realized correctly if a person has the right attitude - without resentment, pride and stupidity. Self-criticism is effective as long as a person believes in himself. Without faith in oneself, it turns into self-crushing, self-destruction.

Self-criticism is the ability of people who are developed, mature and holistic. A person who is not able to admit that he is wrong somewhere is a disabled person of self-criticism. That is, he is not capable of introspection, self-examination, self-criticism. A mature person calmly, benevolently looks at the world, does not encroach on anyone, does not try to put pressure on anyone, change, teach.

A truly self-critical person understands that he is not perfect, that, like everyone else, he has flaws in manifested or unmanifested form, therefore, accepting himself, he allows himself to be imperfect, while doing everything possible to level his vices fed and carefully cultivated virtues.