Do you know that each of us is a liar? And to lie, we are accustomed from childhood. And the older we become, the more sophisticated and believable our lies become. Why do we lie to each other, what is a lie, can we only tell the truth at least one day a year?

Where does she just come from?

First of all, a person daily deceives his neighbor because of unconditional love for himself.

Let's think, is it easy for us to admit our own mistakes and miscalculations? It is much easier to come up with a hundred arguments in your favor than to tell the bitter, but the truth.

For examples, I think, we will not go far. They are familiar to everyone since childhood:

• "Who broke my Chinese vase?" Mom asks. “This is our cat Murzik ... by accident ...” - the child answers.

  And while the child is small, he often blushes and lowers his eyes, but having perfectly mastered the universal art of self-defense called “lie” and becoming an adult, he no longer has to blush.

  Are the parents to blame?

  Until about three years old, a child is not able to lie.

  And the reason is simple - he does not need it. In infancy, the child receives everything he needs. It is enough to let others know exactly what he wants. Then, going further and further into the educational scheme of "carrot and stick", the parent himself puts his child on the path of deception, consistently and unconsciously accustoming him to interaction in society. And he will never turn back from this path.

  Any child psychologist knows that children are the most skilled manipulators, and lying is a way to manipulate other people's actions or opinions.

  Lies as a weapon of attack

  So, lying is a means of self-defense.

  As you know, the best defense is an attack. And if so, then it’s not a sin, as, unfortunately, many people think to use heavy artillery called “lie” to gain benefits for their beloved and only. And off we go. To achieve career growth - undercover intrigues at work. For profit - deception of customers. To justify their own weaknesses - a lie in.

  Of course, at the same time, we all consider ourselves tactful, educated and well-mannered people, and everyone will say that the above is disgusting and immoral and will be absolutely right, however, we continue to lie. Consciously and unconsciously.

  • Firstly, even the smallest, everyday and at first glance harmless, everyday lie is still a lie. And secondly, here the instinct of self-preservation again works, and we return to justifying our own “I”, arguing something like this: “Who will feel better from my truth if my mother finds out that it was I who broke the vase? Nothing will happen to Murzik anyway, but they can punish me.”

    Lie or be silent?

    The most heinous lies are lies that deliberately mislead the interlocutor in order to gain benefits.

    Such lies have been condemned in the religions and cultures of almost all societies at all times. Even the so-called "white lie", "silence" will not solve the problem, since its goal is still associated with obtaining some kind of benefit. And if such a lie is revealed, then the consequences can be the most catastrophic in all spheres of life, from family conflicts to state, economic and political cataclysms.

    And you don't have to look far for examples. Enough to get acquainted with the daily news.

    Diagnosis

    The fact that we are forced to lie is obvious. Otherwise, we simply cannot survive in modern society.

    This is how the vast majority of people think, who at the same time do not want to be deceived. So what is it? Outright hypocrisy? Or another lie to justify it, saying “I’m lying on trifles, forcedly, in order to protect myself from the negative reactions of the world around”?

    I think everyone will agree that listening to a lie, especially if it is obvious, is an unpleasant experience. Falsehood disgusts us, and some even bitter resentment.

    Lies are a means of manipulation. And if you think about how much we lie ourselves? To live in society, willy-nilly, we have to deceive each other every day under various pretexts.

    Do we really need it?

    "Your lie, Pinocchio, is a lie with a long nose"
    so spoke the Fairy from the tale of Carlo Collodi about the adventures of a mischievous boy who loved to brag, and from every lie told, his nose became longer.

    The most harmless lie in the world is the embellishment of events. Moreover, a person has a need to bring vivid emotional details into the story about any life phenomenon in order to surprise the interlocutor, and thereby arouse interest in himself. Such a lie is designed not only to gain authority in society, but also to increase one's own self-esteem.

    No one will be harmed by such lies. Moreover, the interlocutor, listening to the story, can himself understand the obvious absurdity in the story of the narrator, while enjoying the deliberately rich emotional colors.

    Feast of Disobedience

    Now imagine that a "Day Without Lies" was introduced at the state level, when citizens are required to tell only the truth and nothing but the truth.

To a greater or lesser extent, but many people lie. Someone misleads in order to hide or obtain information, someone - for the benefit of others, which is also called an altruistic lie or a lie for good. Others deceive themselves; for others, lying has become an integral part of life. They lie all the time for no apparent reason. In psychology, there are several types of lies, there is a classification depending on different aspects.

What it is

A lie is a conscious statement of a person that does not correspond to the truth. In other words, the intentional transmission of distorted, untrue information. Even silence in certain situations can be considered a lie. For example, when a person deliberately tries to hide or conceal any information.

Benjamin Disraeli once said: "There are three kinds of lies: statistics, lies and damned lies." This expression is considered rather humorous, but, as everyone knows, there is some truth in every joke. Then these words were repeatedly paraphrased, and their authorship was attributed to different people. Today you can often hear modern interpretations. For example: "There are 3 types of lies: lies, damned lies and advertising", or "... lies, damned lies and election promises".

Falsehood, lies and deceit

In psychotherapy, there are three types and deception. To this day, scientists are trying to understand whether there is a difference between these concepts. Falsehood is a delusion, a person believes in what he says, but his opinion turns out to be erroneous. That is, a person does not realize his wrong and deceives unintentionally. This may be due to a lack of knowledge or a misinterpretation of a situation.

The tale is a lie, but there is a hint in it! Good fellows lesson.

The tale is not a lie due to the fact that the author does not try to pass off what was written as the truth. But is lying always negative? There are situations in which words depend more on circumstances than on people. For example, should the pilot of a plane that crashes tell the passengers the truth? Should a son tell a mother who has cancer that he himself is terminally ill?

A half-truth can be called deception when a person does not report all the facts known to him with the expectation that the second person will draw incorrect conclusions (but such that are beneficial to the deceiver). It is not always possible to call a half-truth a deceit. If a girl honestly admits to her friend that she cannot give out all the information about a particular case, this will not be considered cheating.

So, we can distinguish such types of lies in psychology: untruth, lies and deceit.

People are constantly passing information to each other. At the same time, everyone perceives it in their own way, some embellish it, some forget the details and substitute fictitious ones instead. During a conversation, someone often “misses out” something, then tells another, adding his own, and he fantasizes, adds something else, and the third information will reach already half distorted. This is how gossip is born.

Example: "Alina said that Masha said that Nadia saw him with his mistress!". In fact, Nadia saw how the guy, leaving the cafe, held the door for the girl, and then they went in the same direction, keeping a distance of several meters.

"Sorry, I'm late, because there are terrible traffic jams on the road," says Andrei. But he thinks: "Actually, I was late, because yesterday I was late with friends at the bar, and in the morning I did not hear the alarm clock."

"I did not come to the first class, Masha told me that there would be no class," says Albina. But he thinks: “Actually, I didn’t come, because Masha told me that she and her friend would not go to the first couple, so I also wanted to skip it.”

Lies as subterfuge - the most common type of lies. People tell lies because otherwise they will get into trouble. They are driven by the instinct of self-preservation.

Lies out of politeness

"How glad I am to see you, it's very good that we met" - a typical phrase of old acquaintances. Most likely, no one is happy to see anyone, everyone wants to end this conversation as soon as possible in order to go about their business.

It often happens that once at school / institute the guys were on the road. Now everyone has their own family, completely different interests and circle of friends. There were no fights, it just happened. But you can’t say to a person with whom you were once close: “It doesn’t matter to me whether you are in my life or not, I never even remembered you.”

This type of lie can also be attributed to lies as empathy.

“Don’t worry, he’s not worth your tears at all, it’s just that he was very drunk that evening, and in a couple of days he will crawl to you on his knees, it happened to me too, believe me,” is a phrase that every girl thrown by a guy hears. He, of course, was not drunk at all and is now happy with his new girlfriend, and he is unlikely to come to ask for forgiveness. Don't say that to your girlfriend. Over time, everything will work out, but now a person just needs support.

The most dangerous type of lie is lying to yourself. When a person refuses to face the truth, even though it is obvious. It is easier to justify yourself, to justify other people, to come up with a reason for some act, than to admit that there is a problem. You can not build a world of illusions and go into it with your head.

“He doesn’t pick up the phone because he doesn’t hear / is busy / in a meeting,” the girl says to herself, although she knows perfectly well that he is cheating on her. No need to be afraid to make decisions, change yourself and change your life. Everything that is done is for the best.

Human lies exist in the world as long as the person himself. Lies and deceit accompany throughout life. Although from early childhood we are assured that it is not good to deceive, growing up, we are convinced that one cannot do without deception in life. In addition, scientists have recently been saying that a lie develops the brain ... Who else would not agree with this! But scientists take the idea further and say that lying prevents brain aging. Now this is really interesting! But why was there a lie? And what are lies and deceit in communication?

Mankind, as a species, is characterized not only by morality, but also by desire to simply survive. Therefore, in addition to poetic delight, striving for beauty, we are characterized by the ability to hide, deceive, “blown in the fog”, invent.

Therefore, so often these manifestations accompany us throughout our lives. Psychologists try to comprehend and understand this natural process. After all, most people often lie themselves, but are also deceived by others. It is unlikely that you will meet such a person who would not lie at least once in his life. Some do it consciously and often, others do not realize it and lie less.

A lie is a kind of mechanism by which a person influences another. This achieves some beneficial goal. Hiding one's own opinion is considered cheating. At the same time, the deceiver has no desire to mislead the interlocutor. If intent appears, there is a definition of a lie.

There are two types of lies:

Elementary - when a person deliberately misleads the interlocutor;

Indirect - a person is misled through a third party who is unaware of his impartial mission.

In both cases, two subjects are implied: who is being deceived and who is being deceived. The lie itself is a means by which one person pushes another to commit actions that are beneficial to him.

A very large percentage of people use lies to enrich themselves or as an element of aggressive behavior when one person wants to subjugate another. For example, if he cannot get him to do what he wants, deception comes into play. Therefore, psychologists came to the conclusion that manifestations of untruth are a forced measure that allows stronger personalities to survive, putting weaker ones in a subordinate position.

Arguing about the criterion of veracity, experts in the field of psychology talk about the power of confidence. The more confidence is expressed, the more it is believed. For example, if a person's statements coincide with the beliefs of his interlocutor, then this coincidence makes one consider the information expressed to be true. Having ready-made answers to various life questions in advance, a person is more and more convinced that he is right. Therefore, the task of a liar is to inspire faith in the veracity of their statements.

Types of lies and deceit

Among these concepts, one can especially highlight such as: unverified rumors, juggling of facts, slander, denunciation of another, slander and hoax. All of these species have the same purpose.

- the suggestion of faith, which pushes to the manifestation of certain actions on the part of the deceived. With their help, the liar tries to inspire confidence in himself, in his actions and eliminate the existing distrust. This is done through false reasoning. For a greater effect of persuasion, special terminology may be used.

Sometimes it happens that the one who tells a lie does it unconsciously. Such a manifestation is considered the most dangerous, since the closest person who is unconditionally trusted can become the source of such statements. When his information is distorted, exaggerated, based on fiction, he tends to attribute qualities that do not correspond to reality to someone, and manipulates the facts. Such manifestations are usually called disinformation or pretense. The purpose of such statements is to hide the truth.

It is impossible not to mention such a manifestation as delusion. It occurs when the liar himself believes in what he is talking about, completely losing the idea of ​​truth, due to a variety of circumstances. Therefore, the concepts of falsehood and delusion are different, and they cannot be equated with each other.

Many of us know that sometimes we deceive ourselves. Self-deception is close to the manifestation of ordinary lies. This often manifests itself when we reassure ourselves, suggest that everything will be fine, although in fact we have large debts, but there is no money to pay them back. Or we engage in complacency when we suddenly remember that we were late for an important meeting.

In any case, untruth about oneself, self-hypnosis of reassurance, is very dangerous. Instead of concentrating and looking for a way out of the situation, a person lies to himself. Because of this self-hypnosis, many begin to suffer. They inspire themselves with symptoms of non-existent diseases or shortcomings that give rise to many complexes.

Keep in mind that self-deception destroys the human psyche.

The most difficult thing about this is to stop lying to yourself and tell the whole truth about the state of affairs. Since a person is so used to his thoughts, it is difficult for him to explain to himself the opposite. In such cases, a good psychotherapist can help.

First you need to understand that if you are used to lying to others, at least do not lie to yourself. It only makes things worse for everyone, especially for you.

Lies and deceit are like a black hole in which everything that you love and appreciate so much in life disappears. No one sees her, but she is getting bigger, absorbing everything around. But with the desire and a sensitive attitude towards the interlocutor, a lie can still be determined. If this is difficult, use a simple advice: Trust, if you want, everything. But believe only in what you yourself have tested.

Svetlana, www.site

A lie is a statement that obviously does not correspond to the truth and is deliberately expressed in this form. In everyday life, a lie is a deliberately distorted communication of factual and emotional information,
to create or maintain in another person a distorted belief or fact.

The Physical Consequences of Lying

Pain under the destructive effect of Lies from a loved one is a strong blow for an emotional person. When all the principles of trust are treacherously violated.
Can memories of the pain caused and the deceit of a loved one cause a gag reflex? It turns out yes! This is indeed a common cause in emotional people, emotional stress or excitement causes a gag reflex.

Manifestations of Falsity and Lies

Under the outward appearance of truthfulness, a deceitful person is able to present himself not as he really is, not only in the eyes of simple-hearted and easily deceived people, but also before the most shrewd ones.

Manifestations of Deceit as a style and character of the behavior of such a person are so embedded in the character that in the course of many years, a person can force to recognize himself as the most devoted and honest person. False simple-heartedness, which lies in the character, always showing an aversion to cunning and deceit.
A deceitful person, often distinguished by good-natured gaiety, treat everyone good-naturedly, pretend that his whole heart is wide open.
Falsity, using Trust, disposes to frankness of his guests and friends and finds out from them everything that he needed.
At the same time, while expressing his loyalty aloud, he speaks a lie, ignoring the obvious and indisputable facts of life, sincerely believes in a false ego.
In such a deceitful person, only feelings, like a thorn in the heart, sometimes continue to slightly resist deceit.

Falsehood Formation Beginning

Of course, like any negative quality of a person's character, it is most often formed in childhood. According to some studies, deceit is heredity and DNA is 75% from their parents or a deeper branch of ancestors.

The conscious use of lies in childhood can become a personality trait. The child is afraid of punishment and at the same time observes that honesty and frankness create trouble for him.

Gradually, the child learns to be cunning and not to speak out, and to attribute each successful case of using a lie to the manifestation of his mind, dexterity, ingenuity. Having accumulated a successful experience of deceit, the child persuades and justifies himself with the following phrases - "Everyone talks about honesty and truthfulness, but in fact they just know how to lie well."

Having convinced himself of the need for constant Lies for a good, prosperous life, he makes Falsehood a constant tool for communicating with others and loved ones.
He no longer waits for certain circumstances, trying at every opportunity to benefit from his ability to lie.
Falsity becomes his manifested quality of personality.

Types of Lies and Deceit

There are several types of Lies - Manipulating the quality and quantity of information, deceit, reporting ambiguous, vague information, falsification.

Manifestations of Deceit

1. Ignoring - Liars often evade the topic in order not to lie.
2. Justification - The Liar tries to justify their behavior by blaming others and situations.
3. Pressure on the conscience - The main task is to wrap your inner feelings of guilt and embarrassment in a light favorable to the deceiver, and sometimes even revenge on you.
4. Accusations - A liar often accuses interlocutors in, where the main task is not to get to the truth.
5. Philosophy - The Liar tries to justify his behavior by referring to authoritative figures and known patterns of behavior.
6. Ignorance - The Liar tries to demonstrate a lack of understanding of the essence of the issues and the whole situation as a whole.
7. Amnesia - Liar demonstrates his forgetfulness and says that he apparently has no memory of the event.
8. Religiosity - Liars often invoke their religiosity to confuse you. For example: "I am a believer"
9. Flattery - Attempts to flatter the interlocutor in order to lead him away from necessary and meaningful information.
10. Theatricality - If a person shows you feigned joy, feigned friendliness, as well as any other insincerity, be careful - this person wants something from you. He cannot tell you the truth, which means he is lying to you.

Man and his brain is the most unsurpassed master of deceiving himself. The owners of deceit in this matter simply have no equal. They manage to lie around obvious facts, like, if you don’t think about it, then it’s as if it doesn’t exist.
A deceitful person is afraid to admit that he is wrong, so as not to mess with his false ego, which causes pain, once again.
Rooted deceit will experience real pain in the mind, feelings or reason in case of admitting that one is wrong.
They never give in to persuasion and continue to lie. He cannot accept the truth, for him it is a pain.

It is really physically painful for a lying person to tell the truth. Inability, lack of strength to accept the truth.

Deceit turns lies into the norm of their behavior

Falsity is a fanatical truth-seeker. Only the revealed truth can be distorted, so she persistently seeks to find out the maximum of truthful information about other people. In other words, since deceit denies the truth, it can only use its skills when it knows the truth thoroughly.

Deceit seeks to explain its immoral behavior, finding all sorts of reasons for this, because, no matter how disgusting it may be in the eyes of others, in front of itself it wants to look worthy and decent.

Falsity cannot do without its opposite - truthfulness.

It is located in each specific period of its life at a certain point on the scale of these antipodes.

At the same time, the False person considers his entire environment dishonest, suspecting lies. Self-justifying and psychologically defending itself, Falsity realizes that people will pay with it in the same coin.

Determination of Falsity by the eyes and not only

Secret thoughts, Falsity, petty or base motives and selfish Goals are clearly visible by the Cat's green light. Usually manifested by a barely noticeable green gleam in the eyes, like the Devil or Evil. You can identify a Lying person by a pimply face.

To determine Falsity - look into the eyes of this person.
Secret thoughts, Falsity, petty or base motives and selfish Goals are clearly visible by the Cat's green light. Usually manifested by a barely noticeable green gleam in the eyes, like the Devil or Evil. You can identify a lying person by a pimply face

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Essay on psychology

Psychology of lies

Introduction

Distinguishing truth from lies is a great art.

Paul Ekman's book "The Psychology of Lies" for 2001 and I. Vagin's book "The Psychology of Survival in Modern Russia" for 2004 well describe what types and signs of lies are, how to distinguish truth from deceit, and how you can learn to put psychological protection so as not to fall into the trap of a liar. From these books you can learn how, by the smallest flaws in people's behavior, you can not only recognize a lie, but also find out hidden intentions or information. A very good definition of lies and deceit is given by V.V. Signs: A lie is usually called the deliberate transmission of information that does not correspond to reality. The definition of Blessed Augustine is most common in European culture: a lie is what is said with the desire to tell a lie. The main difference between a lie and a deceit is that it is always based on a verbal or non-verbal intentionally untrue, deceitful statement. The essence of a lie always boils down to the fact that a person believes or thinks one thing, and in communication expresses another. The goal of the liar is to convey a false message. Deception is based on the conscious desire of one of the participants in communication to create a false idea of ​​the subject of discussion in the partner, but the deceiver does not distort the facts. A distinctive feature of deception is the complete absence of false information in it, direct distortions of the truth. The purpose of deception is to direct the interlocutor's thinking along the path of actualizing familiar situations. The deceived is always an unwitting accomplice of deception: he is a victim of his own inadequate ideas about reality and incompleteness of information. In the 16th century, Pope Paul IV expressed this idea in the following way: "The world wants to be deceived, so let it be deceived." Yastrebov, 1994: “If there is an urgent need in society to be deceived, swindled, then a group of people will necessarily arise that will realize this desire in practice: whether it is a game of cards, a lottery or the sale of shares, dividends from which the buyer will never receive. The main thing is to take money from the people and give them what they want - to be deceived. Everyone has lied at least once in their life. Sometimes it happens out of necessity, and sometimes the lie is completely unjustified. In any case, the ability to recognize it is a very useful skill that will help to avoid many problems.

1. Liar. Types of lies

I. Vagin's book "The Psychology of Survival in Modern Russia" deals with the problems of deceit and lies. It says that a person, as a rule, lies either to achieve their own goals or to exalt themselves in the eyes of others or to hide information that can compromise a person. Also, we must not forget about the so-called "white lie".

Paul Ekman, in his book The Psychology of Lies, defines lying as the act by which one person deceives another, doing so intentionally, without prior knowledge of their goals, and without a clear request from the victim not to reveal the truth.

* Silence (hiding the truth);

* Distortion (message of false information).

There are other types of lies, such as:

* Hiding the true cause of emotion;

* Telling the truth in the form of deceit;

* Special lie;

* Half-truth;

* Confusing subterfuge.

And finally, there are two types of signs of deception:

* Leakage of information (a liar gives himself away by accident);

* Information about the presence of deception (the behavior of a liar gives out only that he is telling a lie). Leakage of information and information about the presence of fraud are errors. But mistakes don't always happen; sometimes a liar behaves perfectly.

There are several forms of lying that can be considered:

Silence or concealment of real information. According to I. Vagin: “For some reason, most people do not take this type of lie for, directly, a lie. A person does not give out distorted information, but he does not speak real information either. However, it would be worth looking at this kind of deception. For example, when the doctor does not inform the patient that he is terminally ill, or the husband does not consider it necessary to tell his wife that he spends his lunch hours at her friend's apartment. Quite often, only part of the information is covered, and what is not needed remains behind the scenes. This method of default is called "partial illumination or selective supply of material." The following case can be cited as an example of such a situation: a juice manufacturer writes “100% natural orange juice” on the packaging of his product, of course, the buyer understands this as a statement that this is pure juice, not diluted with water. However, the manufacturer implies that it is only orange juice, and not a mixture of various juices, but presents this information in a way that is in their favor. And already at the back, in small print, they add "restored from concentrated juice."

Distortion of real information, says I. Vagin, is what we used to call a lie. When, instead of real information, we are presented with deception, passing it off as the truth, and thereby misleading us. We encounter such lies every day, and it is this lie that is the most dangerous and most unjustified. Telling the truth as a lie. A person tells the truth in such a way that the interlocutor gets the impression that he is lying, and true information is not accepted. Paul Ekman gives this example: A wife is talking to her lover on the phone and suddenly her husband walks in. The wife hangs up and blushes.

Who were you talking to?

The wife puts on a sweet smile on her face and says

With a lover, who else?

Everyone laughed, and the truth remained hidden. The husband did not have a shadow of suspicion, although the wife, in fact, spoke with her lover.

I. Vagin also highlights a special lie. Very often a person who lies does not consider himself a liar because he himself believes in what he says, and therefore the signs of a lie are absolutely not expressed here. He does it subconsciously, not realizing why and why. Usually almost everyone lies in this way, but this lie does not affect anything - it is not serious. It aims to impress others. This is an exaggeration of real facts, the presentation of a real story that happened to other people for their own, etc. Very often, such a liar can be betrayed by the fact that, after a while, he will forget about what was said and begin to contradict himself. The author of The Psychology of Survival in Modern Russia advises: “When you realize that this lie goes beyond all boundaries, you should not express your extreme dissatisfaction. Believe a person, even if you know for sure that he is lying. This usually comes from self-doubt and an inferiority complex. You can’t change such a person, just draw your own conclusions.”

If you are not sure if a person is lying to you, then ask for some details or clarify something about what was said. Then a person can remember that what he said is not true, and he will begin to consciously lie, with all the ensuing consequences, and it will be easier to catch him.

2. Signs of a lie

“If you look closely at a liar, you can always notice some shortcomings in his behavior. The problem is that we believe what we want to believe, and this kills our vigilance. To recognize a lie, you need to keep your cool and throw away emotions. Signs of deception:

Leakage of information - a liar inadvertently pretends to be contradictory information. An example of such a sign of deception can be given. The young man promised his girlfriend that he would quit smoking, and when she once again began to tell him about the dangers of smoking, he lied to her that he had already quit, because for her he was ready for anything. About a month later, when this topic became closed, the guy, coughing, complained a little through his teeth about his lungs and said that it was time for him to quit smoking. Needless to say, the deception was instantly revealed.

Information about the presence of deception - a liar by his behavior gives out only that he is telling a lie, but the true information is still not known. Knowing that we are being lied to, we cannot always tell what exactly they are trying to hide from us. I talked with one woman who said that her husband was cheating on her. She said: “He is hiding something from me, I can feel it. He comes home from work sullen, doesn't eat well, he even refuses his favorite foods! But when I ask him what happened, he says everything is fine! I know him well, I know that he is lying to me, but what exactly is he hiding from me? A few months later it turned out that he was diagnosed with lung cancer ... "

3. Why does lying sometimes fail?

In Paul Ekman's The Psychology of Lies, this happens for many reasons. A victim of a hoax may accidentally stumble upon evidence by discovering hidden documents or a telltale lipstick stain on a handkerchief. Someone can betray the deceiver. An envious colleague, an abandoned spouse, a paid informant - they all contribute to the disclosure of deception. However, we are only interested in errors that occur directly in the process of deception, errors committed by a liar against his will; we are interested in the lies betrayed by the behavior of the deceiver.

“Signs of deception can be manifested in facial expressions, body movements, voice modulations, swallowing movements, in too deep or, conversely, shallow breathing, in long pauses between words, in reservations, microexpressions of the face, inaccurate gestures. Why do liars make such mistakes in behavior? After all, this is not always the case. And then the liar looks flawless; nothing betrays his deceit. But why doesn't this always happen? First of all, for two reasons: one of them concerns the mind, the other - the feelings.

Unfortunate line of conduct

A liar does not always know in advance what and where he will have to lie. He also does not always have time to develop a line of conduct, rehearse and memorize it.

But even in the case of a sufficiently successful deception, when the line of conduct is well thought out, the liar may not be so smart as to foresee all possible questions and prepare answers to them.

It happens that a liar changes his line of behavior even without any pressure of circumstances, but simply because of his own anxiety, and then cannot quickly and consistently answer the questions that arise.

All these misses give easily recognizable signs of deception:

* Inability to foresee the need for lies;

* Inability to prepare the desired line of conduct;

* Inability to adequately respond to changing circumstances;

* Inability to adhere to the originally adopted line of conduct; NB:

Sometimes a slick demeanor can be a sign of a well-rehearsed swindler, and some swindlers deliberately make minor mistakes in order to make the deception seem more credible.

Lack of preparation or inability to adhere to the initially chosen line of behavior, as a rule, give signs of deception, which consist not in what the deceiver says, but in how he does it. The need to consider every word (to weigh the possibilities and carefully choose expressions) reveals itself in pauses or in more subtle signs, such as the tightening of the eyelids and eyebrows, as well as in changes in gesticulation. Careful choice of words is not always a sign of deceit, although sometimes it is.

Lies and feeling

Strong emotions are very difficult to control. In addition, in order to hide intonation, facial expressions or specific body movements that occur during emotional arousal, a certain struggle with oneself is required, as a result of which, even in the case of successful concealment of feelings actually experienced, efforts directed towards this may be noticeable, which will in turn appear a sign of deceit.

It is not easy to hide emotions, but it is no less difficult to falsify them, even when this is done without necessarily covering up a real one with a false emotion. This requires more than simply stating: I am angry or I am afraid. If the deceiver wants to be believed, he must look like that, and his voice must actually sound frightened or angry. It is not so easy to choose the gestures or intonations of the voice necessary for the successful falsification of emotions. In addition, very few people can control their facial expressions. And for the successful falsification of grief, fear or anger, you need a very good command of facial expressions.

Feeling guilty about your own lies

Pangs of conscience are directly related only to the feelings of the deceiver, and not to the legal definition of guilt or innocence. In addition, they also need to be distinguished from feelings of guilt about the content of a lie.

Like the fear of exposure, remorse can be of varying intensity. They can be very weak or, on the contrary, so strong that the deception will not succeed, because the feeling of guilt will provoke a leak of information or give any other signs of deception.

It should be noted, says Paul Ekman, that remorse is heightened when:

* The victim is deceived against her will;

* Deception is very selfish; the victim does not derive any benefit from the deceit, but loses as much or even more than the liar gains;

* Deception is not allowed, and the situation requires honesty;

* The liar has not practiced deception for a long time;

* The liar and the victim have known each other personally for a long time;

* The liar and the victim share the same social values;

* The victim is difficult to accuse of negative qualities or excessive gullibility;

* The victim has a reason to assume deception or, conversely, the liar himself would not want to be a deceiver.

Fear of being exposed

Fear of exposure in a weak form is not dangerous, on the contrary, not allowing you to relax, it can even help the liar avoid mistakes. Behavioral signs of deception, noticeable to an experienced observer, begin to appear already at an average level of fear. Information about the possible presence of a fear of exposure in a liar can be a good help for the verifier.

Fear of exposure is highest when:

* The victim has a reputation for being difficult to deceive;

* The victim begins to suspect something;

* The liar has little experience in the practice of deception;

* The liar is predisposed to the fear of exposure;

* The stakes are very high;

* Both reward and punishment are at stake or, if only one of them occurs, the stake is avoidance of punishment;

* The punishment for the lie itself or for the act is so great that there is no point in confessing;

* Victim lie is completely unprofitable.

Feeling of elation sometimes experienced in case of failure

In addition to the negative feelings that arise in a liar, such as fear of exposure and remorse, positive emotions can also arise in a liar. Lying can also be considered an achievement, which is already pleasant in itself. The liar may experience joyful excitement either from the challenge, or directly in the process of deception, when success is not yet entirely clear. In the case of success, there may be pleasure in relief, pride in what has been achieved, or a feeling of self-satisfied contempt for the victim.

The delight of cheating can also be of varying intensity. It may be completely absent; be insignificant compared to the fear of exposure; or so strong that it will be expressed in certain behavioral signs.

The delight of cheating increases when:

* The victim behaves defiantly, having a reputation as a person who is difficult to deceive;

* The lie itself is a challenge;

* There are understanding viewers and connoisseurs of the skill of a liar.

The essence lies in the fact that remorse, fear of exposure, the delight of cheating can manifest itself in facial expressions, voice or plasticity, even when the liar tries to hide them. If they do manage to be hidden, then the internal struggle required to hide them can also give behavioral signs of deception. Thus, there are ways to determine deception by words, voice, body movements and facial expressions.

4. Ways to detect lies

I. Vagin's book describes a lie detection technique that will allow a person who suspects deception to assess how justified or unfounded his suspicions are. The book lists the main behavioral mistakes that a liar makes and with the help of which he can be exposed:

a) the words “Sometimes it is worth listening to the reservations of a person. In them, he can say what he is very afraid to say. Mixing up words may not be a simple speech error. This is due to the fact that when lying, a person is worried (most often) and slightly loses vigilance. By means of this, the truth can break out. When a person deliberately lies, his phrases often contain interjections, extra syllables, words… for example: “Well… well, I… m-I… like your new haircut!”

Frequent pauses are the main sign of deception. The liar takes time to think through a course of action, especially if the liar did not know that he would have to lie. The tone of voice also changes drastically. It usually gets much higher, but one should not neglect people who, fearing being exposed, begin to forcibly play with their voice. He becomes too unnaturally restrained, low. Short coughs also show a person's agitation.

Plastic

Hands are usually in contact with each other. Nervous twitching of the leg or any other rhythmic movements begins. Touching the finger of the hand to the nose or ear for a few seconds. Just do not confuse: a person’s nose or ear can itch! As a rule, the nose is scratched quickly and purposefully, but if this movement lasts long enough, then you know that the person says what he does not want to say.

Often you can observe a confused expression on the face, a little embarrassed. And even if a person is well in control, any question asked head-on on a topic about which they are lying to you will put the interlocutor to a standstill, at least for a few seconds. While the person is composing an appropriate answer, you can easily see the lost child on his face, thereby exposing him. But all these factors give out the excitement of a person, but there are people who keep the excitement in themselves and then hide behind laughter or simulated and unnatural calmness.

5. Signs due to the autonomic nervous system

The autonomic nervous system (ANS) also produces certain changes in the body that are noticeable in the event of a change in emotions: changes in the frequency and depth of breathing, swallowing frequency, sweating intensity, and ANS-mediated changes that are reflected in the face (such as flushing the face, pallor and dilated pupils .)

Changes in the ANS depend on the strength of the emotion, and not on its nature.

It seems that most people are quite good at deceiving others by giving their voice intonations characteristic of anger, fear, grief, happiness, disgust, or surprise. Although it is very difficult to hide the changes in the sound of the voice characteristic of these emotions, it is much easier to portray them. But the easiest way to fool people is with your voice.

Some changes caused by the autonomic nervous system are easy to mimic. Rapid breathing or swallowing is hard to hide, but it doesn't take much art to imitate it: just breathe faster or swallow more often. True, sweating is difficult both to hide and to portray. I think, however, few liars use rapid breathing and swallowing to give the impression of experiencing a negative emotion.

Although the deceiver may increase the number of manipulations in an attempt to demonstrate that he is "out of his element," most people, in all likelihood, will not remember this opportunity in time. These actions, which are so easy to carry out, may, by their absence, betray the falsity of otherwise convincing assurances.

Illustrations can be done deliberately (albeit with little chance of success) to give the impression of interest and enthusiasm not really experienced in relation to the subject matter. It is very difficult to put the illustrations right with the words when you do it on purpose; they tend to be ahead of the word, or late, or overexposed.

Changes in breathing and sweating, and increased swallowing due to severe dry mouth are signs of strong emotions, and it is likely that in the future it will be possible to determine which ones by the nature of such changes.

6. Psychological protection

Remember: in Russia, the first of April is not a one-day holiday, but a lifestyle.

Capable - hinder, talented - envy, brilliant - hurt.

Niccolo Paganini In the book "Psychology of Survival in Modern Russia" I. Vagin gives advice on how to properly set up "psychological protection" so as not to be a toy in the hands of people who pursue their own goals and manipulate us with the help of deceit. This is called "the art of psychological defense." In the end, “your soul is not a public toilet and there is nothing to let everyone in there to spoil,” as Hollywood stars say. I. Vagin gives two rules of the art of psychological defense:

emotional neutrality. Keeping calm even in a stressful situation that is being imposed on you will help the technique of ventilation of emotions.

At the same time, I. Vagin advises: “Imagine that your chest is a doorway. Inhale - a draft, exhale - a draft changes direction. Your chest is an opening for a walking draft that easily and quickly ventilates your emotions. Rational, critical approach to the situation.

Common sense dictates that if you have done nothing to ensure that you are not fooled, wait - you will be deceived. Therefore, it is more rational to initially proceed from the fact that you can be deceived. And so that this does not happen, make sure in advance. "Lie detector"

“Collect information on the problem that has arisen, get it from three sources at the same time. Compare the facts with each other, carefully check and analyze them,” advises I. Vagin.

Distinguishing truth from lies is a great art. And the “lie detector” technique will help you do this. How many ingenious, ultra-sensitive devices have been invented by scientists in order to establish the truth with their help: is a person lying or telling the truth? But can you personally use them if necessary? And this need arises every day, every hour ...

Once upon a time in China and India, a person suspected of lying was offered to chew and then spit out rice flour. If he did it without difficulty, he was considered an honest man. Dry mouth meant excitement, and therefore - a lie.

The Bedouins of Arabia for the same purpose forced to lick the iron: if there was saliva in the mouth, then the burn did not happen. "The best lie detector is yourself!" - says I. Vagin in his book. Words are made to lie. But the eyes are invented in order to tell the truth! It is no coincidence that they say: “Yes, I can see in his eyes that he is lying!”

The reaction of the eyes is instantaneous, and it is very difficult to control it.

Further, I. Vagin talks about what the “lie detector” technique is based on. Ask your interlocutor a question and note the movement of his eyes. If the look even for a moment goes up, be sure: he is lying to you. Perhaps at first he will look as if through you ...

Continue to refine the details. If he "remembers" someone's words, his gaze will go up and to the right. If he comes up with a place of action, his gaze will go up and to the left. But if he lowers his eyes for a while, then the information is true.

Often the eyes of a liar either run around or narrow, and the look becomes more rigid, intensely fixed, it seems to drill into you.

Note the change in voice. When a person starts to lie, his voice changes, becomes tense. A liar is betrayed either by excessive verbosity, or by the fact that at some point he cannot squeeze out a word from himself. By tilting the head, you can also determine whether a person is telling the truth or lying. When he is having an honest conversation, his head is usually tilted to the right or left. But as soon as it begins to give false information, the landing of the head becomes straight, tense.

Often a liar is given out by eyebrows: at some point, one eyebrow can crawl up. A crooked smile of one half of the mouth also indicates the dishonest intentions of your interlocutor. But before working with the "lie detector" technique, you need to track the reactions of a particular person in the case when he speaks the truth, so as not to fall into error. It must be borne in mind that hysterics and hyperthyms can lie sparklingly and with inspiration, psychosthenics almost do not know how to lie, schizoids also have difficulty lying, epileptoids occupy a middle position between schizoids and hyperthyms.

Finally, much depends on the type of professional activity and the social status of a person. Big bosses, administrators, lawyers, politicians, diplomats - that is, people who know how to manipulate others, people who, by the nature of their activity, must hide information or even deliberately misinform others - they have experience and easily pass off a lie for the truth.

Lies can be recognized by a set of true signs.

Liars are given out:

> Verbosity, lack of clear language;

> Pauses before answers;

> Internal stress;

> Uncharacteristic gestures;

> Chaotic movements;

> Unnatural facial expressions;

> Unnatural flush or pallor;

> Dilated pupils.

And no matter how much of a lie a person is, he is still not able to control himself in all these positions.

In his book, I. Vagin cites the following story as an example:

… The last murder was monstrous. Even the worldly-wise "operatives" could not recall analogues and refused to comment. The offender subjected the victim to such torture that even death seemed to her a blessing. Definitely, the investigator said only one thing: now the killer cannot escape from the “tower”.

But the lawyer brought a certificate from which it was clear that Ilya R., who was detained at the scene of the crime, had recently been registered in a psychiatric dispensary. The psychiatric medical examiner's office was slow to come up with a definitive answer. The diagnosis was essentially confirmed. Only one thing aroused suspicion: excessive verbosity.

Ilya spoke in too much detail about what he was not asked about.

He died after 3 months. During the investigation, it was possible to find out that a district psychiatrist bought with giblets a year ago gave Ilya paid consultations on how to simulate a mental disorder. And although the student turned out to be not talented, they still brought him to clean water, tracking the true signs of the behavior of a liar.

"Man - Computer"

As Bertrand Barère once rightly remarked, language is given to man in order to hide his thoughts.

Words cannot be trusted.

We know it. And we continue to believe!

And then - we are surprised, indignant, angry, worried.

But what a sin to conceal - sometimes we ourselves are glad to be deceived !.

As a rule, this is what happens - first we lie to ourselves, and only then to others.

“The darkness of low truths is dearer to us than the uplifting deception!” - Pushkin even concluded this main human weakness in an aphorism.

In order to protect yourself from deception from the outside, you must first of all keep your own psycho-complexes under control. Often there are situations when it is really necessary to know and clearly imagine the intentions of a partner. This is especially important in business, politics, and sometimes in personal life. If you use the outdated recommendation “Measure seven times - cut once”, then there is a great risk of simply not being in time. Time now requires quick and at the same time verified decisions. I. Vagin says: “The “human-computer” technique will help you achieve this. Imagine a computer screen. There are 4 questions on the screen that you should ask yourself:

> Why is this person nice to me?

> Why is he telling me all this?

> What does he want from me?

> Have I done everything to protect myself?

“If you constantly ask yourself these 4 questions during negotiations, you will notice in a short time that your computer has gained hypersensitivity. Whenever a question goes unanswered or your answer is incorrect, a blinking light in the color of your alarm will appear in the corner of the screen. And in this way you will always be on the right track,” reports I. Vagin. I. Vagin proposes to dwell on each position in more detail, to analyze each issue in more detail.

Why do I like this person?

Perhaps he reminds you of something or artificially appeals to your location. Experienced swindlers know how to do it brilliantly. To arouse the sympathy of a person is a couple of trifles for them. Remember how wonderful Ostap Bender did it. The movie "The Thief", marked by the audience's sympathy, is also built on this. The boy's military uncle is associated with his father who died at the front, and therefore he unquestioningly obeys him.

As for the ability to artificially arouse sympathy, let's recall the episode when the main character gathers all the residents of a communal apartment on the occasion of the holiday. Here is what he tells them:

I am a military man. I travel a lot, I've seen a lot. But I have never met such friendly, such good people! For you!

And after inviting everyone to the circus at his own expense, he immediately sings "Oh, roads ...". And that's it, the job is done: all the tenants of the apartment are seduced by him and subsequently robbed. Because no one bothered to ask themselves a simple question: “Why is he saying all this?”.

And then, to woo new people. He succeeds brilliantly in this. He loads them with relevant information that lulls their vigilance, raises his image with the help of a bluff, and skillfully influences psycho-complexes. The hero is bluffing, dressed up in a military uniform. And a subtle bluff gives him the disposition of those around him: to the military, especially after the war, the attitude was trusting.

Secondly, a direct compliment worked: “But I have never met such friendly, such good people.” After that, how can they not all go to the circus together if they are so friendly? The third is the impact on the psycho-complex of greed. Tickets to the circus are free - who would refuse such a freebie?

Fourth, the “kindred souls” technique was used. It is known that any feast was accompanied by songs. And the hero makes great use of this: “Citizens! Who has an accordion? The soul of the song asks! And he sings the most sincere song of that time, "Oh, roads ...".

So, the disposition of those around is caused. And then it would be a high time for one of them to ask themselves the question: “What does he need from me? What is his purpose in communicating with me? What can he really get from me?

It is not difficult to answer if you look at the situation not from the inside, but through the eyes of an outsider. (Imagine that you are giving an interview to a meticulous reporter and are forced to exhaustively answer this question).

The hero of the film had a simple goal: having lulled the vigilance of cautious citizens, habitually rob them. And he achieved it. Because no one asked themselves: “Have I done everything in order to defend myself?”

There are several options for insurance. First of all, it is the collection and verification of information. And then - a detailed study of possible options for the consequences of the step taken.

For example, how to defend yourself if you are asked to borrow money? It is useful to immediately ask yourself a few questions, the answers to which will determine your inner comfort. It is important not only to earn money, but also to keep it. There will always be people who will tell you that they are guides in the jungle of life and know where to find hidden wealth. The only question is why they themselves have not done this yet?

So, more questions:

Am I ready to just donate this money? (You should always take into account the fact that there is a high probability that the money will not be returned to you).

Would this person lend me money?

How can I get my money if the debtor refuses to give it back?

(Perhaps there is a sense to play it safe: take a receipt from him in advance or leave some valuable thing as a pledge).

Conclusion

One cannot but agree with the authors of the books “Psychology of Lies” and “Psychology of Survival in Modern Russia” that we must always remember one important truth for the success of exposing a liar: not one liar, ever, enjoys the process of lying. I absolutely agree with the authors of these useful books that lies will come to light sooner or later, no matter how hard you try to hide the truth. We usually lie, and our body betrays us by itself, it shows that we are not telling the truth. I think these books contain very valuable and interesting information. I really liked both books for their content and examples.

References

lie psychological defense nervous

1. "Psychology of Survival in Modern Russia", I. Vagin, Moscow, 2004

2. "Psychology of lies", Paul Ekman, St. Petersburg, 2001

3. "Psychology of Survival in Modern Russia", I. Vagin, Moscow, 2004

4. "Psychology of Survival in Modern Russia", I. Vagin, Moscow, 2004

5. "Psychology of lies", Paul Ekman, St. Petersburg, 2001

6. "Psychology of Survival in Modern Russia", I. Vagin, Moscow, 2004

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