Liz Burbo

Five traumas that prevent you from being yourself

Thanks

From the bottom of my heart I thank everyone with whom I have worked over the years and without whom my research on trauma and masks would not have been possible.

My greatest gratitude is to those who participated in the seminars "Effective Techniques of Mutual Aid". Thanks to their capacity for complete self-disclosure, the material for this book has been greatly enriched. I am especially grateful to the members of the Listen to Your Body group, who participated in my research and provided me with information that is very important for this book. Thanks to all of you, I do not lose my passionate interest in research and new generalizations.

Finally, I want to thank those who were directly involved in the writing of this book. First of all, this is my husband Jacques, who by his very presence brightened and lightened the hours spent on its pages; Monica Bourbeau-Shields, Odette Pelletier, Micheline Saint-Jacques, Nathalie Raymond, and Michel Derruder did a brilliant job of proofreading the manuscript, while Claudie Ogier and Elisa Palazzo provided the artwork for the book.

Foreword

I was able to write this book thanks to the perseverance and perseverance of many researchers, who, like me, were not forced by the objections and skepticism of critics to refuse to publish the results of their searches and reflections. Needless to say, researchers know that attacks on them and their work are inevitable, and usually prepare for it. They are inspired by those who positively perceive new discoveries, and also by the hope of helping people in their evolution.

The first among the researchers to whom I must express my gratitude was the Austrian psychiatrist Sigmund Freud: it is to him that the grandiose discovery of the unconscious in man belongs; it was he who dared to declare that the physical nature of a human being is inseparable from his emotional and mental structure.

I am also grateful to one of his students, Wilhelm Reich, who, in my opinion, became the great forerunner of metaphysics. He was the first to establish an indisputable connection between psychology and physiology, showing that neuroses affect not only the mental, but also the physical body.

Later, psychiatrists John Pierrakos 1 and Alexander Lowen (both students of Wilhelm Reich) discovered bioenergy and showed that the patient's will to heal is equally important for his physical body, and for emotions, and for intellect.

Thanks primarily to the work of John Pierrakos and his colleague Eva Brook, I was able to complete everything that you will discover here. Beginning with a very interesting workshop in 1992 with Barry Walker, a student of John Pierrakos, I have observed and explored with the greatest care the material now presented in this book as a synthesis of my efforts, the five traumas and their accompanying masks.

In addition, all the ideas presented here have been repeatedly tested since 1992 on the experience of many thousands of people who have attended my seminars, as well as on examples from my personal life.

There is no scientific evidence for what is first said in this book, but I invite you to test my findings before dismissing them, and most importantly, to see if they help improve the quality of your life.

As you can see, in this book, as in the previous ones, I refer to you as you. If you are reading one of my books for the first time and are unfamiliar with the Listen to Your Body teaching, some of the expressions may confuse you.

For example, I make a clear distinction between feeling and emotion, between intelligence and intelligence, between self-mastery and control. The meaning of these concepts and the differences between them is explained quite well in my other books, as well as in the classroom.

Everything that I write applies equally to the male and female halves of the human race (otherwise I make reservations). I still use the word GOD. Let me remind you that when I talk about GOD, I mean your Higher Self, your true being, the very Self that knows your real needs, focused on a life of love, happiness, harmony, peace, health, abundance and joy.

I wish you the same pleasure in reading the book that I experienced when I shared with you my discoveries on its pages.

With love,

Liz Burbo

Chapter 1

Already at birth, a child knows in the very depths of his being that the meaning of his incarnation lies in working through all the many lessons that life will present him. In addition, his soul, with a very specific purpose, has already chosen a specific family and environment in which he is born. All of us who come to this planet have the same mission: experience, and survive in such a way as to accept them and through them love yourself.

Since sometimes experience is experienced in rejection, i.e. in condemnation, guilt, fear, regret and other forms of denial, then a person constantly attracts to himself circumstances and personalities that again and again lead him to the need to experience the same experience. And some not only experience the same experience many times during their lives, but also have to repeatedly, and sometimes several times, incarnate again in order to achieve its full acceptance.

Acceptance of experience does not mean that we prefer it or agree with him. It's more about giving ourselves the right to experiment and learn through what we experience. We must first of all learn recognize, what is good for us and what is not. The only way to this state is understand the consequences of experience. Everything we choose to do or not do, everything we do or don't do, everything we say or don't say, and even everything we think or feel, has consequences.

Man wants to live more and more consciously and intelligently. Convinced that some experience entails detrimental consequences, instead of getting angry at himself or someone else, he must learn to simply accept his own choice (even unconscious) - to accept in order to be convinced of the unreasonableness of such an experience. It will be remembered later. This is the acceptance of the experience.

Let me remind you that otherwise, even if you resolutely say to yourself: “I don’t want to experience this anymore,” everything will happen again. You have to give yourself permission to repeat the same mistake or bad experience over and over again before you have the courage and determination to change yourself. Why don't we understand the first time? Yes, because we have an ego protected by our beliefs.

Each of us has many beliefs that prevent us from being ourselves. The more trouble they bring us, the more we try to hide them, obscure them. We even manage to believe that we no longer have beliefs. To deal with them, we must incarnate several times. And only when our bodies - mental, emotional and physical - begin to listen to the inner GOD, our soul will experience complete happiness.

Everything that is experienced in rejection accumulates in the soul. And the soul, being immortal, constantly returns to Earth - in various human forms and with the baggage accumulated in its memory. Before we are born, we make a decision about what task we will have to solve in the upcoming incarnation.

This decision, like everything that was previously accumulated in the memory of the soul, is not recorded in our conscious memory (memory of the intellect). Only throughout life do we gradually become aware of our life plan and what we have to deal with.

When I mention or talk about something unsettled", I always mean some experience experienced in self-rejection. Take, for example, a young girl who was rejected by a father who was expecting a son. In this case, accepting the experience means giving your father the right to desire a son and reject his own daughter.

For this girl, accepting herself means giving herself the right to be angry with her father and forgiving herself for being angry with him. There should be no condemnation of the father or oneself - only sympathy and understanding of the subpersonality that suffers in each of them.

She will know that this experience is fully completed and settled when, having rejected someone in turn, she will not blame herself, but will experience great sympathy and understanding for herself.

She has another chance to make sure that this kind of situation is truly settled and experienced in acceptance: the person she rejected will not become angry with her for it, but will also feel sympathy, knowing that every person at some point in life has to reject another.

Don't be fooled by your ego, which often goes to great lengths to convince us that we've fixed this or that situation. How often do we say to ourselves: “Yes, I understand that the other would have done the same as me,” just to get rid of the need to realize ourselves and forgive ourselves! In this way, our ego tries to stealthily remove an unpleasant situation out of sight.

It happens that we accept a situation or a person, but at the same time we do not forgive ourselves, we do not give ourselves the right to be angry with her - in the past or present. It is called " accept only experience". Again, there is a significant difference between accepting experience and accepting yourself. The latter is more difficult to implement: our ego does not want to admit that we go through all our most difficult experiences only to make sure that we ourselves behave with others in exactly the same way.

Have you noticed that When you accuse someone of something, does the same person accuse you of the same?

That is why it is so important to learn to understand and accept yourself as fully as possible. Only in this way can we gradually ensure that we experience situations without undue suffering. The decision depends only on you - to take control of yourself and become the master of your life or let your ego control it.

It will take all your courage to face this dilemma, because in this case you will inevitably open up old wounds. And this is very painful, especially if you have been wearing them for several lives. The more you suffer in a certain situation or with a certain person, the more ancient your problem is.

In search of a way out, you can count on your inner GOD - omniscient, omnipresent and omnipotent. His power is always in you and constantly working. It works in such a way as to direct you to the people and situations that are necessary for your growth and evolution in accordance with the life plan that was drawn up before you were born.

Even before you are born, your inner GOD draws your soul to the environment and family that you will need in your future life. This magnetic attraction, as well as its goals, is predetermined, on the one hand, by the fact that in previous lives you did not learn to live in love and acceptance, and on the other hand, by the fact that your future parents have their own problem that they must solve. through the child, that is, through you. This explains the fact that usually both parents and children have to deal with the same traumas.

When you are born, you are no longer aware of your entire past, because you are focused on the needs of your soul; and your soul wants you to accept yourself along with all your acquired experience, mistakes, strengths and weaknesses, desires, subpersonalities, etc.

We all experience this need. However, soon after birth, we begin to notice that our desire to be ourselves causes discontent among adults and others. And we conclude that being natural is not good, wrong. This discovery is not pleasant, and it often causes outbursts of anger in the child. Such outbursts become so frequent that everyone treats them as something normal. They are called "baby crisis" or "teenage crisis".

Perhaps they have become the norm for human beings, but they cannot be called natural in any way. If the child is allowed to be himself, he will behave naturally, balanced and will never arrange "crises". Unfortunately, there are almost no such children. Instead, in my experience, most children go through the following four stages:

1st stage - knowledge of the joy of existence, being oneself;

2nd stage - suffering from the fact that it is impossible to be yourself;

3rd stage - a period of crisis, rebellion;

Stage 4 - in order to avoid suffering, the child concedes and eventually builds a new personality out of himself, corresponding to what adults want from him.

Some people get stuck in the third stage and are constantly in a state of opposition, anger, or crisis all their lives.

During the third and fourth stages, we create new personalities in ourselves, masks - several masks that serve to protect us from the pain experienced in the second stage. There are only five of these masks, and they correspond to the five main mental traumas that a human being has to endure.

Many years of observation allowed me to state that all human suffering can be reduced to these five injuries. Here they are in chronological order, that is, in the order of their appearance in a person's life:

REJECTED

LEFT

humiliated

BETRAYED

Were UNFAIR

Putting these words in a different order, you can read the word "betrayal" 2 by their first letters; the acrostic highlights the fact that by experiencing or inflicting any of these traumas on someone, we are participating in an act of betrayal of a human being. Betrayed, lost trust in the inner GOD, in the needs of our essence, and we leave our ego, along with its beliefs and fears, to rule our lives.

The creation of masks is a consequence of our desire to hide from ourselves or from other people our unresolved problem. Hiding is nothing but a form of betrayal.

What are these masks? Here is their list along with the injuries they are trying to cover up.

Injury Masks

Rejected Fugitive

Abandoned Addict

Humiliated Masochist

Betrayal Controlling

Injustice Rigid

These injuries and their corresponding masks will be discussed in detail in later chapters. The importance of the mask is determined by the depth of the injury. The mask represents the type of personality corresponding to it, since numerous beliefs develop in a person, which determine both his internal state and his behavior as normal for the accepted mask. The deeper your wound, the more you suffer from it and the more you have to wear your mask.

We only wear a mask when we want to protect myself. For example, if a person feels the injustice shown by him under some circumstances, or judges himself for being unfair, or is afraid that he will be judged for injustice, he puts on a mask of a rigid one, that is, he begins to behave like a tough, rigid person. .

To better understand how trauma and the corresponding mask are related, I offer you an analogy: internal trauma can be compared to a physical wound that you have long been used to, do not pay attention to it and do not care about it.

And in order not to see the wound, you just wrapped it with a bandage. This bandage is the equivalent of a mask. You decided that this would be the best thing, as if you were not injured. And you seriously think that this is the solution to the problem? Of course not. We all know this well, but not our ego. It doesn't know. This is his way of fooling us.

Let's go back to the wound on the arm. Let's say that you experience intense pain every time someone touches the bandage. If someone in a fit of love grabs your sore hand, imagine his surprise when you yell: “Aaaaa! You're hurting me!" Did he want to hurt you? No. And if it hurts every time someone touches your hand, it's because you myself decided not to deal with the wound. Other people are not to blame for your pain!

It's the same with all your injuries. There are countless cases when we are sure that we have been rejected, abandoned, betrayed, humiliated, treated unfairly. In fact, every time we feel pain, it's just our ego that convinces us that someone else should be blamed for it.

It would be nice to find the culprit. Sometimes it seems to us that we ourselves are this guilty person, but in reality this is no more fair than blaming someone else. You know, there are no guilty people in life; there are only those who suffer. Now I already know that the more you blame (on yourself or someone), the more persistently the same experience is repeated. Blaming brings only one result: it makes people unhappy. But if we try to look at the suffering part of a person with sympathy, then situations, events and people will begin to change.

Masks, created for the purpose of self-defense, are manifested in the physique and appearance of a person. I am often asked if it is possible to detect mental trauma in young children. Personally, I watch with great interest my seven grandchildren (at the time of this writing, they are between the ages of seven months and nine years old), and in most of them I already find mental trauma imprinted in their physical appearance.

The more clearly visible internal trauma at this age, the more serious it is. On the other hand, in the physique of my two adult children, I notice other injuries - not the ones that I observed in their childhood and adolescence.

Our body is so conscious that it always finds a way to communicate what we're not okay not settled. It is actually our inner GOD that uses the body to communicate.

In the following chapters, you will read about how to recognize your masks and those of other people. In the last chapter, I will discuss new principles of behavior that need to be learned in order to heal long-standing traumas and get rid of suffering. The healing process is accompanied by a natural transformation of the masks covering these injuries.

In addition, one should not particularly trust the words used to denote injuries or masks. A person can be rejected, and suffer from injustice; another was betrayed, but he lives as a rejected one; someone else is abandoned, but feels humiliated, etc.

When you read the descriptions of all injuries and their inherent symptoms, all this will become clearer to you.

The five characters described in this book may resemble other classifications used in the study of characters. Any research has its own characteristics, and the present work does not aim to refute or replace studies performed in the past.

One such study, conducted by psychologist Gerard Heymans about a hundred years ago, is still popular today. In it we find eight characterological types: passionate, choleric, nervous, sentimental, sanguine, phlegmatic, apathetic and amorphous.

Word passionate, used by the author to describe the human type, does not exclude the possibility that other types can experience passion in their lives. Every word used to describe a type refers only to a dominant personality trait. So I repeat: do not rely too much on the literal meaning of the words.

It is quite possible that by reading the descriptions of individual injuries, as well as the behavior of the corresponding masks, you will recognize yourself in each of them - the physical body does not deceive. I want to emphasize that it is very important to memorize the description of the physical body well, because the body very accurately reflects what is happening inside the personality.

It is much more difficult to know yourself emotionally and mentally. Remember that our ego does not want to discover all our beliefs - because they are its food, it lives on them. In this book, I will no longer dwell on the description of the ego, since there are enough pages devoted to it in my books Listen to your body, your best friend on Earth and Listen to your body again and again!

You may feel resistance and a desire to object when you read that persons suffering from a certain trauma are in conflict with one of their parents. Before coming to these conclusions, I tested thousands of people and found that this was the case. I repeat here what I say in every lesson or seminar: more unresolved problems remain with the parent with whom the child or teenager seemed to have more mutual understanding.

Well, this is quite normal - it is difficult for a person to believe in his anger at the parent whom he loved more. The first reaction to such a statement is usually denial, followed by anger, and only then is one able to face reality.

This is the beginning of recovery.

You may find it unpleasant to describe the behavior and other characteristics of a person associated with various injuries. As a result, when you recognize one of your injuries, you may begin to deny the description of the corresponding mask that you created for yourself to protect yourself from suffering. This is quite normal, human resistance. Give yourself time. Remember: if you behave as your mask dictates, then you are not yourself.

The same applies to everyone around you. Doesn't it make you feel better to think that when someone's behavior displeases you or annoys you, it's a sign that that person put on his mask in an attempt to avoid suffering? Do not forget about this, and you will become more tolerant and it will be easier for you to look at others with love.

Take as an example a teenager who acts like "cool". When you discover that he behaves this way because he is trying to hide his vulnerability and his fear, your attitude towards him changes, you already know that he is not cool or dangerous. You remain calm and even able to see his good qualities, and not just mistakes and rudeness.

It is reassuring to know that even if you were already born with traumas that you have to heal and that are constantly manifested in your reactions to the people and circumstances around you, the masks that you create for self-defense do not remain permanent. By practicing the healing methods suggested in the last chapter, you will see how your masks gradually melt and how your body is transformed as a result.

And yet, more than one year will pass before the results can be ascertained at the level of the physical body: the body always changes more slowly due to the nature of the tangible matter from which it is built. Our finer bodies (emotional and mental) are transformed in a shorter period of time after it is accepted in the depths of our being - with love- a definite decision.

For example, it is very easy for us to wish (emotionally) and imagine (mentally) how we travel abroad. The decision to make such a trip can be made in a few minutes. The concretization of this project in the physical world (drawing up a plan, agreeing, raising money, etc.) will require more time.

There is a good way to check your physical changes: take a photo every year. Take close-up pictures of all parts of the body so that details are clearly visible. Yes, some people change faster, some slower, just like some people get ready to travel faster than others. The main thing is not to stop the work of inner transformation, because this is what fills life with happiness.

I recommend that you write down everything you take personally as you read the next five chapters, and then re-read the chapters that give you the most appropriate descriptions of your behavior and, most importantly, your physical appearance.

Document

Thorny. Liz Burbo calls five injuries, which people receive in early childhood and which affect ... locks could not remain by ourselves yourself and tried all the time... Thoughts which interfere get rich Where firewood? Complex treatment can to be only...

We are talking about five traumas, namely the trauma of the rejected, abandoned, humiliated, betrayal and injustice. We are all born with several traumas, but they are experienced in different ways, with different intensities.

Shot from Ashes and Snow, © Gregory Colbert

We are talking about five traumas, namely the trauma of the rejected, abandoned, humiliated, betrayal and injustice. We are all born with several traumas, but they are experienced in different ways, with different intensities. Injuries originated in a previous life and are present in our new life because we have not learned to heal and accept them.

So, we can conclude that, for example, the trauma of the rejected originates in a situation where a person rejects another person and does not accept himself in this situation. This experience of rejection is associated with rejection of oneself, which becomes a vicious circle: I reject myself, I reject others, and others also reject me .... All of this is to help me realize that I am denying myself. And so it is for every trauma of the soul. Trauma occurs immediately as soon as a person ceases to accept himself, just as many wounds, injuries or diseases can suddenly appear in the human body. If a person does not deal with the healing of this injury, it becomes more and more dangerous and, at the slightest touch, it will hurt more and more. Therefore, only we ourselves should personally realize the importance of healing our own soul traumas in order to create a completely different quality of our life.

All the troubles, problems, stresses that happen to us can be associated with one of the traumas of the soul. Difficulties can be mental (anxiety, fears, etc.), emotional (guilt, emotion, anger, etc.) or physical (illness, illness, accidents, etc.).

From the moment a child is conceived, traumas begin to be activated by the parents or those who have played the role of parents. So it's important to remember that we don't suffer trauma because of our parents, but rather because we needed these parents, with their own traumas, so that we could recognize our own traumas and begin the process of healing them.

As soon as one of the five traumas is active and we do not accept it, our reactions are instantaneous. It looks like someone is touching an open wound on your body, it gives you pain and you overreact to the touch. Your reaction depends on how serious your wound is. The more painful the wound, the sharper and faster your reaction. Speaking of trauma, I refer to these reactions as "mask-wearing." Why? Because we are in pain, and if we do not understand our responsibility, we blame other people for hurting us (or we blame ourselves for feeling pain), and we cease to be ourselves. To take responsibility is to feel the pain and injury and to realize that the other person did not hurt us, but that the suffering arose because we had not yet dealt with the healing of the injury.

For example, someone steps on your injured and swollen toe. Of course, you react: you are more likely to say something unpleasant, push the person away, or even hurt him yourself. Of course, this reaction is natural. But think about it: if your toe was healthy and someone stepped on your foot, you probably wouldn't have this reaction. And this means that if we react too sharply to some events or people, we cease to be ourselves. And that's why we call reactions masks. Each injury has its own mask and its own reactions.

You can read a full description of the five traumas of the soul and the masks associated with them in the book Five Traumas That Prevent You from Being Yourself. Recognizing masks and injuries is not difficult if you just look closely at the structure of your body. The more characteristics of a particular injury present in your body, the stronger that particular injury of yours.

How to heal from traumas of the soul?

The first step in healing from trauma is to accept and observe yourself when your trauma is active and you feel pain. You may feel rejected, for example, or abandoned, but not wearing an appropriate mask. At such moments, all you need to do is tell yourself that you are feeling rejected right now, and observe your thoughts, feelings, and the location of pain in the physical body. You will see how wonderfully simple self-observation works! Just watching is enough to ease the pain and make you feel much better. Your breathing becomes even and the pain goes away. This observation technique is also called acceptance.

Another step in healing from trauma is accepting that ALL people, without exception, are born with trauma. The more you give yourself permission to experience trauma, the more compassion and tolerance you will have for other people. You will not be acutely aware of the moments when other people put on masks or react emotionally. So, the more you watch yourself, the easier it will be for you to watch others, without judgment or blame.

A great effective way to heal from soul trauma is to be very mindful of your relationships with other people. As soon as you find yourself reacting to other people in pain, out of trauma, take a deep breath and ask yourself, “if I listened to my needs, what would I do now?”.

Take, for example, a woman who is tired after a day's work. She sees that her son (or husband) wants her attention. She would like to be alone and rest. However, due to the trauma of the abandoned one, she fears that if she does so, her son or husband will feel abandoned. Most likely, she will not tell anyone about her desire, and will make every effort to give due attention. If so, then her injury won, and she herself put on a mask.

Gradually, as you heal from trauma, you will become who and what you want to be: the fugitive will learn to assert himself and take his rightful place; the addict will be happy to be alone, will be able to ask for help only if necessary, and not in order to attract attention; the masochist will manifest his sensuality without guilt or shame, listening and satisfying his needs before others. The controller will remain a leader and leader, but will not seek to control and suppress everyone, using lies and manipulation; the rigid one will find his natural sensuality and give himself the right to be imperfect.

And this is only a small part of the wonderful changes that you will see in your life as you begin to heal from soul traumas. And your surroundings will also be pleasantly surprised as you begin to change before our eyes! There is only one thing left for you now: to make the decision to start healing from soul traumas right now, without waiting for other people to change instead of you. Only in this way can you get a better quality of life, and this will only happen thanks to a unique tool - acceptance that heals everything!

I recommend for a slow and thoughtful reading of the book by Liz Burbo "5 traumas that prevent you from being yourself." This book is a good intellectual guide when it comes time to understand our childhood grievances and traumas that affect our adult life to this day.

But in order to do something with old children's psychological traumas and resentments in practice, you need the help of a specialist. Come, I can work with it practically. And the result is. Tel. 79-28-12 or 8-909-124-96-88, Nadezhda Yurievna Yasinskaya.

Liz Burbo, as a result of her many years of practice, has identified 5 psychological traumas that prevent us from living. These traumas are very deeply and firmly hidden in our Soul, and in life we ​​put on “masks” in order not to experience pain, betrayal and humiliation again. The fear of being abandoned or rejected again forces us to adhere to a certain pattern of behavior so that no one will ever guess about our suffering, even ourselves.

5 traumas that interfere with life:

1. Trauma - rejected

“The person who received this injury does not feel the right to exist in this world. It may be an unwanted child who nevertheless came into the world, or it may be a child who was rejected by a parent of the same sex from the moment of birth to one year. Such a person has been wearing the “Runaway” mask since childhood, he longs to run away, disappear, evaporate and not take up so much space. For this reason, by the way, he looks very thin, even skinny, as the body reacts to a subconscious desire. In the eyes of a fugitive, you will always see fear, he is very unsure of himself, he feels awkward in large companies, he is always silent and tries to disappear as quickly as possible and find himself in such comfortable solitude. Another characteristic feature of the fugitive is the desire for perfection in everything, if he does something, then he does it perfectly or does not start doing it at all. In this way, he tries to realize himself and prove to himself that he has something to love for. People suffering from the trauma of the rejected often have skin problems, since it is she who is the contact organ with the outside world, problematic skin seems to repel the outside world from itself and says with all its appearance: "Don't touch me." Also, such people tend to suffer from diarrhea, since they themselves suffer from rejection trauma, they reject food that has not had time to be digested. For the same reason, they often vomit. Some fugitives escape from reality with the help of alcohol, this helps them temporarily disappear and stop experiencing nagging pain.

2. Trauma - abandoned

“The person who carries this trauma in himself received it because of the parent of the opposite sex, as he did not pay due attention to him, did not show care and love. That is why a person suffering from the trauma of an abandoned person experiences constant emotional hunger and strives to “cling” to another person in order to satisfy this hunger. The mask used by the abandoned is "Dependent". He is sure that he cannot achieve anything on his own, without the support of other people, he just needs words of approval and advice, which, by the way, he does not follow later. For him, the main thing is to have a person nearby who you can rely on, since he is not confident in his abilities. The physique of the addict corresponds to his injury: a thin, long body that has underdeveloped muscles. From the outside, it seems that the muscular system will not hold his body and a person, in order not to fall, just needs to lean on someone. This is what happens in life. Experiencing emotional hunger, the addict strives to find at least someone to depend on him. At the same time, he does not know how to control his emotions: he gets upset over a trifle, cries easily, and after a minute he can laugh again. Such a person is usually very suspicious, tends to exaggerate and dramatize everything, “making an elephant out of a fly” is about her. More than anything, the addict is afraid of loneliness, because then there is no one to get attention, support and help from. A person suffering from the trauma of the abandoned often has a childish timbre of voice, likes to ask a lot of questions and hardly accepts rejection, because at the same time he feels abandoned again. The most common illnesses associated with this injury are asthma, myopia, migraines, and depression.”

3. Trauma - humiliated

“A humiliated child experiences insults, criticism, censure from a very early age, but most often the trauma of the humiliated is manifested if the child hears all this from the mother in the period from 1 to 3 years. If the mother blames the child, forcing him to feel guilt, shame, then he, in turn, perceives this as a humiliation, especially if the conversation takes place in front of strangers. Such a child in the future puts on the mask of the "Masochist". This means that a person will look for problems, humiliations and various situations in which he can suffer all his life. From childhood he experienced humiliation, did not hear a kind word, therefore he does not consider himself worthy of a different attitude, even to himself. Since he is used to always being ashamed of everything, the body listens to his subconscious and grows in size. A masochist occupies a lot of space not only in space, but also in the lives of other people. He strives to help everyone, solve problems for them, suggest and point out. Such a person seems to be kind, as he voluntarily takes part in the problems of other people, but in fact his behavior is motivated by fear of shame in front of others and himself. He is ready to do everything so that he is no longer criticized and finally praised! The masochist is usually hypersensitive, the slightest trifle hurts and offends him, but he, as a rule, does not even notice those moments when he offends and hurts other people. A person with a trauma of the humiliated often suffers from back diseases, as he takes on his shoulders an unbearable burden - responsibility for the lives of other people, as well as respiratory diseases, when he is suffocated by other people's problems, the thyroid gland, since it is difficult for him to realize his needs and declare his own. requirements."

4. Trauma - betrayal

“This trauma is experienced by a child aged 2-4 with a parent of the opposite sex. The child feels that the parent has betrayed him every time he does not keep his word, prefers someone else, and not him, or when he abuses the child's trust. In this case, the child, in order not to feel the pain of the injury, puts on the “Controlling” mask. The body develops in accordance with this mask, it radiates strength and power, showing with all its appearance that the owner is a responsible person and can be trusted. Such a person is confident in his abilities, he likes to be the first and the best, he is used to controlling himself and others. He is very demanding of others as he is of himself and is often frustrated that they cannot be trusted with anything and that he has to do everything himself. In his actions, the controller loves speed, so he gets very annoyed when someone does his job slowly. Often such a person becomes aggressive if the situation gets out of his control. He tries to foresee and foresee everything in order to avoid another betrayal in his life. He rarely listens to others and does as he sees fit, but requires others to strictly follow his recommendations. People who carry the trauma of betrayal most often suffer from problems with the digestive system, agrophobia, diseases of the joints and diseases whose name ends in -it.

5. Trauma is an injustice

“A child gets this trauma mostly with a same-sex parent between the ages of three and five. Protective mask - "Rigidity". Rigid strives for justice and perfection, it is very difficult for him to understand that what he does may seem unfair to others and vice versa - what others do to him may seem unfair only to him, as he suffers from this trauma. The physique of a rigid one is perfect and proportional, because this is fair ... Such a person is very hardworking, he has always been appreciated for his achievements and successes, and not just like that. But he is often prone to conflicts, as he is an ardent fighter for justice. The biggest fear for a rigid person is the fear of making a mistake, because then he can act unfairly towards others, and he tries to prevent this. Unfortunately, the rigid often refuses the blessings of life if he considers it unfair to others and envies others if he considers that they are not worthy of it. In such a constant struggle, he earns himself nervous exhaustion, loss of vision and insomnia.

The first step to healing 5 traumas that interfere with life is their awareness, acceptance, and then work with them.

Find and read this and, perhaps, other books by Liz Burbo - they will tell you a lot about yourself. And this is important knowledge.

Purely by chance in a bookstore, my hand reached for Liz Burbo's book "5 Injuries That Prevent You from Being Yourself." Having bought this book, I read it in 2 days and realized that it fell into my hands not by chance, it was just time to deal with my childhood trauma, which affects my adult life. Strange as it may sound, while reading this book, it seemed to me that the author knows me even better than I know myself, as well as my relatives and friends. If you are interested, but you don’t have time to read the book at all, then I wrote this article just for you.

Perhaps we should start with the fact that every person has a trauma, and maybe more than one, which he received in childhood thanks to his mother or father, or the person who raised him. This trauma forces us to put on a mask in life in order not to experience pain, betrayal and humiliation again. The fear of being abandoned or rejected again forces us to adhere to a certain pattern of behavior so that no one will ever guess about our suffering, even ourselves. Liz Burbo, as a result of many years of practice, has identified 5 injuries that prevent us from living, masks that we unconsciously put on and methods for healing childhood wounds.

5 traumas that interfere with life:

1. Trauma - rejected

The person who received this injury does not feel the right to exist in this world. It may be an unwanted child who nevertheless came into the world, or it may be a child who was rejected by a parent of the same sex from the moment of birth to one year. Such a person has been wearing the “Runaway” mask since childhood, he longs to run away, disappear, evaporate and not take up so much space. For this reason, by the way, he looks very thin, even skinny, as the body reacts to a subconscious desire. In the eyes of a fugitive, you will always see fear, he is very unsure of himself, he feels awkward in large companies, he is always silent and tries to disappear as quickly as possible and find himself in such comfortable solitude. Another characteristic feature of the fugitive is the desire for perfection in everything, if he does something, then he does it perfectly or does not start doing it at all. In this way, he tries to realize himself and prove to himself that he has something to love for. People suffering from the trauma of the rejected often have problems with the skin, since it is it that is the contact organ with the outside world, the problematic skin seems to push the outside world away from itself and says with all its appearance: "Don't touch me." Also, such people tend to suffer from diarrhea, since they themselves suffer from rejection trauma, they reject food that has not had time to be digested. For the same reason, they often vomit. Some fugitives escape from reality with the help of alcohol, this helps them temporarily disappear and stop experiencing nagging pain.

1. Trauma - abandoned

The next of the 5 injuries that interfere with life is abandoned. The person who carries this trauma in himself received it because of the parent of the opposite sex, as he did not pay due attention to him, did not show care and love. That is why a person suffering from the trauma of an abandoned person experiences constant emotional hunger and strives to “cling” to another person in order to satisfy this hunger. The mask used by the abandoned is "Dependent". He is sure that he cannot achieve anything on his own, without the support of other people, he just needs words of approval and advice, which, by the way, he does not follow later. For him, the main thing is to have a person nearby who you can rely on, since he is not confident in his abilities. The physique of the addict corresponds to his injury: a thin, long body that has underdeveloped muscles. From the outside, it seems that the muscular system will not hold his body and a person, in order not to fall, just needs to lean on someone. This is what happens in life. Experiencing emotional hunger, the addict strives to find at least someone to depend on him. At the same time, he does not know how to control his emotions: he gets upset over a trifle, cries easily, and after a minute he can laugh again. Such a person is usually very suspicious, tends to exaggerate and dramatize everything, “making an elephant out of a fly” is about her. More than anything, the addict is afraid of loneliness, because then there is no one to get attention, support and help from. A person suffering from the trauma of the abandoned often has a childish timbre of voice, likes to ask a lot of questions and hardly accepts rejection, because at the same time he feels abandoned again. The most common illnesses associated with this injury are asthma, myopia, migraines, and depression.

1. Trauma - humiliated

A humiliated child experiences insults, criticism, censure from a very early age, but most often the trauma of the humiliated is manifested if the child hears all this from the mother in the period from 1 to 3 years. If the mother blames the child, forcing him to feel guilt, shame, then he, in turn, perceives this as a humiliation, especially if the conversation takes place in front of strangers. Such a child in the future puts on the mask of the "Masochist". This means that a person will look for problems, humiliations and various situations in which he can suffer all his life. From childhood he experienced humiliation, did not hear a kind word, therefore he does not consider himself worthy of a different attitude, even to himself. Since he is used to always being ashamed of everything, the body listens to his subconscious and grows in size. A masochist occupies a lot of space not only in space, but also in the lives of other people. He strives to help everyone, solve problems for them, suggest and point out. Such a person seems to be kind, as he voluntarily takes part in the problems of other people, but in fact his behavior is motivated by fear of shame in front of others and himself. He is ready to do everything so that he is no longer criticized and finally praised! The masochist is usually hypersensitive, the slightest trifle hurts and offends him, but he, as a rule, does not even notice those moments when he offends and hurts other people. A person with a trauma of the humiliated often suffers from back diseases, as he takes on his shoulders an unbearable burden - responsibility for the lives of other people, as well as respiratory diseases, when he is suffocated by other people's problems, the thyroid gland, since it is difficult for him to realize his needs and declare his own. requirements.

1. Trauma is betrayal

This trauma is experienced by a child aged 2-4 years with a parent of the opposite sex. The child feels that the parent has betrayed him every time he does not keep his word, prefers someone else, and not him, or when he abuses the child's trust. In this case, the child, in order not to feel the pain of the injury, puts on the “Controlling” mask. The body develops in accordance with this mask, it radiates strength and power, showing with all its appearance that the owner is a responsible person and can be trusted. Such a person is confident in his abilities, he likes to be the first and the best, he is used to controlling himself and others. He is very demanding of others as he is of himself and is often frustrated that they cannot be trusted with anything and that he has to do everything himself. In his actions, the controller loves speed, so he gets very annoyed when someone does his job slowly. Often such a person becomes aggressive if the situation gets out of his control. He tries to foresee and foresee everything in order to avoid another betrayal in his life. He rarely listens to others and does as he sees fit, but requires others to strictly follow his recommendations. People who are traumatized by betrayal most often suffer from problems with the digestive system, agrophobia, diseases of the joints, and diseases whose names end in -it.

1. Trauma is an injustice

The child receives this trauma mainly with a parent of the same sex between the ages of three and five. Protective mask - "Rigidity". Rigid strives for justice and perfection, it is very difficult for him to understand that what he does may seem unfair to others and vice versa - what others do to him may seem unfair only to him, as he suffers from this trauma. The physique of a rigid one is perfect and proportional, because this is fair ... Such a person is very hardworking, he has always been appreciated for his achievements and successes, and not just like that. But he is often prone to conflicts, as he is an ardent fighter for justice. The biggest fear for a rigid person is the fear of making a mistake, because then he can act unfairly towards others, and he tries to prevent this. Unfortunately, the rigid often refuses the blessings of life if he considers it unfair to others and envies others if he considers that they are not worthy of it. In such a constant struggle, he earns himself nervous exhaustion, constipation, loss of vision and insomnia.

The first step to healing 5 traumas that interfere with life is their awareness, acceptance, and only then work with them. By the way, you don’t need to blame your parents for everything, because, as Liz Burbo writes in her book, souls already knew what injuries they needed to get in life in order to work off their karma and simply chose parents who would provide them with the necessary conditions. The responsibility for your life always rests with you, and other people and situations are a reflection of your inner decision to experience certain lessons.

For more information, you can read Liz Bourbeau's book "Five Injuries That Prevent You from Being Yourself" and I hope that you will be able to heal your life.

With love, Yulia Kravchenko

If you have any questions while reading the article, you can ask me. I will answer you with pleasure!