Why does she not love me, Sasha worries. Because I'm so good. Well, yes, I broke her balcony door. But this is me from the nerves. I was very worried. It's because she's important to me! Because I'm everything to her! He gave that goat in the face, who asked her for time. Defended her honor! Well, yes, then she bought me from the cops. But it was all for her! Doesn't she understand what's in my heart?

Why does she not love me, Dasha is unhappy. I've been going to her for a massage for three years now, every week. Well, yes, it is not always possible to come. I sleep, then I forget. But I'm tired! Sometimes there is no strength for anything at all, even to call to warn. Well, yes, she comes to the salon for me and waits in vain for an hour. But I'm not going to another master! I appreciate her! And what I miss, because I have a crazy schedule, literally my head is spinning, doesn’t she really understand?

Why doesn't she love me

Why does she not love me, Pasha suffers. I am the most active in her seminars. Now I'll tell a joke, then I'll pun something. I try to make it more fun for her. Well, yes, I interrupt, I distract. I delay for an hour, everyone has already left, and I ask all the questions. But I want her to see that I care. That I love her subject. Doesn't she understand what I'm trying to do?

Why does she not love me, Glasha is sad. Well, yes, I forgot my passport last time, we didn’t get on the flight. But I didn't do it on purpose. This can happen to anyone. And when I mixed up the time, I was just worried about the train. I love to ride with her so much, it's so interesting with her. I don't want to ride with anyone else! When I lost my wallet, she immediately figured out where to go to declare and how to quickly get money from home, she only spent a day on this, that's how good she is! Doesn't she understand that I'm her most faithful friend?

If Sasha was just a fool, he might have been loved. But there is no time to love Sasha. It is necessary to insert glass - call the master, take time off from work to wait for this master, pay him money. Shards to pick out from the carpet. To spend the night without glass again, in December. I don’t even want to remember the story with the police - take a taxi home for money, but until you persuade them, and the dog is not walked at home. There is no time to love Sasha, it is necessary to solve problems.

If Dasha were just a chicken, she would also be loved. Everyone loves regular customers, even if these customers are of a small mind. But the masseuse has no time to love Dasha. She needs to move other clients, shake up the entire record in order to accept Dasha, then arrive in traffic jams an hour earlier. In order not to wait for Dasha, not to get a penny, to move everyone again as it was, and so every second time. Not for love here.

Pasha is not the dumbest student, and why not love him. If Pasha hadn’t messed around with nonsense, didn’t interfere with work and didn’t steal time. And Glasha is a good girl, only she frustrates plans and creates force majeure. When to love her, if she needs to be rescued all the time?

A person who creates problems should not be surprised that he himself is considered a problem. If the one you need has one more problem thanks to you, he will not admire your inner world, he will simply start to stay away from you.

Or you will have to compensate for this problem with something.

No, not love. It is enough for a puppy who has shitted on a carpet to wag his tail to make amends for this misunderstanding. If you are not a puppy, then, having shitted on someone else's carpet, you must at least bring a new carpet. And two is better. Then you will not be the person who ruined the carpet, but the one who added carpets to the house. And because you come to visit again, you will not become one, alas. Love does not make carpets. It doesn't even remove stains.

If you are hoping to draw attention to yourself in this way, then this is a bad idea. I knew a man who counted on intriguing his sweetheart by regularly scratching her car with a nail. After a couple of months, the sweetheart really became interested in who this nit was, and the sweetheart roommate ambushed the applicant literally at the moment of another recognition.

I also knew a young man who struggled with the indifference of his parents, pretending to be an acute psychosis. At first, the parents did not understand, and then they became indifferent and called a special team on the topic of hospitalization. Or, for example, one Internet user was worried that no one was visiting his page. Therefore, he commented on other people's posts literally without knowing fatigue, smacked nonsense everywhere, prevented people from having intelligent conversations, and was soon banned everywhere up to the "Kids" community. People don't like problems. They somehow happened to try to minimize them. If you don't want to be minified, don't be a problem. published

P.S. And remember, just by changing your consumption, we are changing the world together! © econet

How does a person create problems for himself?

Often a person creates problems for himself.

Exists several directions where this happens:

First direction, consists in an uncontrolled ordering for ourselves of that event that we do not need at all. How does this happen? Yes, very simple.

We we constantly repeat thoughts in which we actually “order” ourselves something - the future, which does not suit us at all. And then we get it.
Remember your thoughts. Do you have thoughts like: “What if I can’t do anything?”, “No one will give it to me”, “Nothing depends on me”, “Nothing can be changed”, “Everything is useless” and the like? If so, then you yourself order trouble and suffering! Your fears and doubts breed passivity and expectation of failure. And what we expect, sooner or later we get.

If you want to change the situation, then first you need to change your thoughts! This is the first and most seemingly simple step. But how few people dare to do it, even if there have been cases in their lives when, after good thoughts, they had good events. People are afraid of change and cling with all their might to what they have today. No matter how terrible or joyless it was. And they do not take, at least for a test, quite simple steps to change their characteristic thoughts that give rise to trouble. But the desired goals and luck are so close to them!

Make negative thoughts leave you and then you will stop ordering trouble for yourself. You need to make friends with your fears.

Second direction, is in opposition to your true and stated goals. That is, for example, you declare aloud that you need money (work, position, business). But in fact, you want something completely different, so the stated goal is not achieved.

How can this happen? Yes, very simple. For example, a person complains. That he can't increase his income in any way. Moreover, the ways to increase income are more or less clear to him (another position, another place of work, increasing the size of his business or opening a new project), but he does not manage to implement them. Why? One of the possible draft answers is obvious - after the implementation of the order, he will have many uncomfortable situations that he does not have today. For example, what can happen if you suddenly tighten up and increase your income?

It turns out that the following can happen:

1. Your friends or girlfriends will envy you.
2. You will have to spend more time at work.
3. You will have less time for family or hobbies.
4. You will have to start communicating with other people.
5. You will become attractive to criminals or regulatory authorities and so on.

With such a set of future troubles, what normal person would change something? These do happen, but rarely. Most people unconsciously choose "tit in hand" than changes in the current situation with a bunch of troubles arising from this and unguaranteed pluses from the realization of the goal. That is, the hidden benefits from maintaining the existing situation exceed the expected result, and you subconsciously avoid it by any means. And until you realize this situation, your goal will be nothing more than a fantasy.

third direction, is that you don't really appreciate it. More precisely, mind you understand what you need, even make an effort to get a result, but in your heart you don't care. You are passionate about something else that you do not mind wasting your time on, which is a real value for you. As a result, you get what you unconsciously consider worthy of attention and effort. And do not get what is not important to you.
If money ranks low in your value system, then most likely you will not have much of it. And not because it is a pity to spend Life for you on money. You just don't take them yourself, you choose something else. How will it happen? Very simple.

For example, you are looking for a job and are considering several options. What will you choose in the end? The place that pays more? Or where the work is interesting? Or where it is possible to go on business trips. Or where do your friends work? Or where you will always be provided with work, despite all the economic crises? In the end, you will choose, and it’s not a fact that you can earn a lot there. But you will find many explanations for why you made this choice and not another. Here, closer to home, or here there is an opportunity to do what you love, or something else. That is, you chose either comfort (the ability to spend more time with your family), or relationships between people, or security, or something else. You chose this over money because money ranks lower in your value system. You made a choice, and then you began to moan that you were not paid enough, you did not have enough money for a normal life, and so on. Why moan? You yourself have made such a choice,because money is not important to you.

All the same happens with health, relationships and other areas of your life. You moan that you want to be healthy, but do not want to change anything in your lifestyle, where there is no place for proper nutrition, physical education, and a normal work schedule. For you, work is much more important than health, so you don’t have time, it’s normal to have lunch or relax, not to mention sports. You are trying to buy health at the pharmacy, but they don't have it. And until you realize that health is a real value and you need to devote some of your time and effort to it, nothing will change.

Fourth direction consists in the fact that we declare one thing, but in our hearts we are sure that we are not worthy, to receive what we seem to strive for.

For example, a girl sincerely wants to meet a handsome prince and become his wife. But when a man appears in her life, who can conditionally be attributed to the "princes", and she gets lost, becomes constrained, forgets about everything and tries to go into the shadows. She is not a princess, she does not feel equal with the "prince". Her self-esteem is much lower, she still feels like Cinderella. Therefore, even if Life presents her with a chance to meet the one she dreams of, she will not be able to take advantage of this opportunity. Until she feels like a princess herself. What is needed for this? Prince? Not, You need to work on yourself to improve your self-esteem. And when this work is done, the prince will appear as if by itself. Now she is surrounded by those whom she subconsciously considers equal to herself (that is, herself equal to them), and these are far from princes. That is, all the problems are not in the absence of princes, but in how she positions herself in the world. Self-esteem will change - reality will change.

Fifth directionconsists in the fact that out of all the diversity of the world you concentrate your attention on misfortunes and problems. Thus, from the whole variety of events, you choose only that there is a lot of loneliness, unemployment, deceit, theft, poverty, illness, bad ecology and other troubles around. And Life is compelled to confirm this opinion of yours by creating such a reality for you.

How to understand what reality you create for yourself? Very simple. Remember what is the main topic of your conversations with relatives and friends? That everything is bad, that no one is paid money, that there is only unemployment around, and as soon as people live on a beggarly wage? Or something more positive?

If you are sure that everything around is bad. There is no money, and there will not be, then in your own universe everything will happen exactly like that. Although very close (in the next apartment, in the next house, on the next street) people can live in a completely different universe, where there is a lot of money, work, health and other benefits. But you are not interested. How and why are they doing well. You are focused on your problems, so you will receive them again and again.

What needs to be done to move to a safe and secure universe? All the things we've talked about before. Stop focusing on negative events. Stop watching "garbage" and criminal TV shows. Stop discussing various troubles and troubles with friends. Remove words from your vocabulary “problem”, “trouble”, “disease”, “misfortune”, “no money”, “bad luck”, “bad”, “failure» and the like. Find new acquaintances who are looking forward and looking for ways to increase their success. Try to do the same. Start smiling, even if at first through force, overcoming the internal aversion to a smile.

And then you will gradually move to where you should be in reality. There, where miraculous transformations take place in your life, and your goals are realized on a wave of good luck.

sixth direction – it is a long-term struggle for one's ideals in any area of ​​life. Someone is fighting for their ideals in politics. But most are absorbed in the struggle with their neighbors - husband and wife, parents, children, boss and subordinates and other people in the inner circle. Either they are passionate about fighting with themselves (I don’t weigh as much as I should, etc.) Life is constantly trying to reason with these fighters for their personal “truth”, but who hears it? Everyone fights for his ideals to the end, sparing no effort, health, many years of ruined life, and everything else. It is clear that there is no time for joy or self-knowledge. When you can't prove That only you are right, and everyone else is deeply mistaken.

Every person has a huge freedom of choice. But people use this freedom absolutely irrationally - they are trying their best to remake the world around them. You can only change yourself, but who will agree with this? It is much more habitual to condemn everyone around and rush into battle for their improvement.
The seventh direction is that we do not clearly understand what we are striving for, we do not know what we want in life, we do not have a formulated goal. If you're mumbling about your life goals indistinctly and going with the flow, then it is obvious that you will either not get anything in life, or ray is not at all what you aspire to.

As you can see, there can be many such directions, I just stopped at the main ones. Analyzing them, we can conclude that if a person builds his thoughts correctly and does not create problems for himself, clearly understands what he needs to strive for, then he goes through life on a wave of success, achieving what he wants.

Happiness, health, success!

And which of them is yours, only you know. For example, in the above case, your intention may be to stay still and do nothing, and the desire to drink tea may impose your body on you) This is one of the options, but quite viable, although it looks incredible)

The problem is a desire against a desire, or two opposite desires. One is yours, and the other is someone else's, but for which YOU recognize the right to exist. Because if you don't recognize, there is no problem.

Here is another problem: you want to be paid more, and the bosses save on salaries. Problem? Yeah) And how can you not recognize the right to exist for the desire of the authorities to save money ?!) Yes?)) Well, in fact, there are ways, but this article is not about that.

Every problem creates a game. What is a game?

Play is an action to overcome barriers, using freedom to achieve some goal. That's all the game is.

The game can be taken seriously and called "life" and a person will vehemently deny that this is a game, or frivolously and be called "football". Although football can also be played seriously, then all the problems begin)) But looking at the definition of the game, and at any human activity, you can see that any action is a game. Since any action is the achievement of some effect (goal), among the barriers, using freedom.

So how does a problem create a game? And it's very simple. Your intention is the goal, and the counter-intention is the barrier. Here you already have 2 elements of the game. And the third, freedom, exists insofar as your intention and counter-intention are not all that exists. In other words, intention and counter-intention are finite, but freedom is infinite, i.e. there are an infinite number of options to implement the intention or counter-intention. By implementing these options, we get the game.

Moreover, the problem is an unfinished game, it is a game that continues, even if it is stuck in some kind of equilibrium, and nothing seems to happen, as soon as it ends, it ceases to be both a game and a problem. And it ends only when a person either reaches the goal (winning), or when CAM decides that the goal is unattainable (loss). In any of these cases, a person is left out of the game and suffers if he does not immediately start a new game.

What is out of the game after a loss, I think there is no need to tell much, we all experienced some kind of losses, failures and other situations when we realized that nothing could be done.

But even if he wins, the person is in the same position, except that now he can have more property or some other bonus for winning. And he will be able to start a new game at a higher level.

To understand why this causes suffering, you can imagine that whatever you wished for, appeared in the same instant, all desires were realized instantly. Complete absence of barriers. Just imagine, and then think - how long would it give you pleasure? And imagine that your desire for immortality was also immediately realized.)

Or here's a simpler option: Imagine that you dreamed of getting a billion and got it. We got everything! ...you no longer have games, you have nothing to spend it on, because buying something is already a new goal, a new game. And you just stop at your winnings, from the moment you received your billion, you can’t even move your body, because the movement of the body is also a game and it has a goal, it is to overcome the barrier (space), etc. etc.

Human life is essentially a set of many games. Playing a child, an adult, a professional, a cripple, a family man, etc. All these things have freedom barriers and goals. Keeping your body alive is also a game, there is also a goal, there are obstacles and freedoms for action.

Therefore, the answer is that people like to create problems for themselves, because without problems a person does not exist. Even having a body is already a lot of problems.

Often people agree to those problems (games) that they do not enjoy. And this happens only because these people begin to think that they are not able to have problems that give them pleasure, so they grab onto any problems and support them. That's why it turns out a very vile taste of life.

Do not be upset much, but I will not tell you, because I do not know what to do, just for you)

I know one cool definition of happiness, maybe it will help you. It helps me when I use it.

Here it is: "Happiness is a feeling that arises when a person overcomes certain barriers on the way to a certain goal."

Perhaps it takes time to somehow digest everything you read here, and if this article has prompted you to think about it and you don’t mind sharing it, write.

Instruction

If you yourself do not take an active life position, you will never have what you want. Almost every problem that hangs like a sword of Damocles over time, at an early stage, does not present great difficulties in resolving. This applies to all areas of life - financial, personal, family and so on. Every morning there are hundreds of tasks that need to be done sequentially, and not postponed until some point. Otherwise, there is a high probability that the need to resolve them will arise at one moment. Such rush jobs undermine mental and physical strength. Dale Carnegie, in his book How to Stop Worrying and Start Living, gave very good advice: "solve the most unpleasant issues in the morning."

In an effort to avoid problems, some people take the position of a wise minnow. This position "my hut is on the edge" works for the time being. Sooner or later, what is happening around will take you into a whirlpool, and you will not even know how to cope with everything and what to take on. Just as a person who grew up in sterile conditions can die from a simple cold, so one who has been hiding behind the backs of others all his life will not be able to cope with elementary problems on his own.

A large block of problems that baffle many and can even lead to the darkest thoughts is financial. In order not to create money traps for yourself, always plan your expenses. Learn financial literacy: be sure to invest, do not invest all your savings in one bank or package of securities. Before taking out a loan, think about whether you can pay a certain amount every month, even if you lose your job? Even with a stable income, look for alternative sources of income, including passive ones, that will not depend on your performance.

Be truthful in dealing with people. Sometimes it's better to say nothing than to lie. Do not go in with your fists if you can resolve the conflict with words. Always be responsible for your actions and do not throw words into the wind. Learn to say "no" when you really need to. But if you see that a person close to you cannot solve the problem on his own, and you know that it is in your power, help him. Surely the experience gained will be useful to you, besides, you will gain an ally.

Do not focus on the past and do not dwell constantly in dreams. Hold fast to the earth, but keep your eyes on the future. You must understand that right now you are laying the foundations of your well-being. If you feel that the chosen professional path brings you not only good money, but also a lot of disappointments, you live in constant tension, because your occupation is disgusting - change your life now, because it will only get worse. And if you put up with it, you will lose yourself.