The art of telephone conversations in line with our topic includes both general principles that allow you to successfully achieve your goal, and special techniques that help repel an attack and maintain the integrity of your personality. First of all, you need to work on your voice - after all, it is your main tool in all telephone conversations. If it sounds too loud or, on the contrary, quiet, if the voice is hoarse, rough and wheezing, it is unlikely that the other end of the phone will be satisfied, especially when we are talking with a stranger. The intonation with which the words are pronounced is very important. What is she - calm, restrained, pleading, domineering, cold, warm? Even when you say the most correct things, the timbre of your voice, along with intonation, can seriously devalue them. Therefore, train - both in ordinary communication and in the silence of loneliness (you can, for example, record your voice on a tape recorder and listen to how it sounds and then try to repeat the same phrase with different intonation and timbre), and even during the telephone call itself. conversation.
Breathing also plays a very important role. Noisy heavy breathing makes a corresponding impression, and since the interlocutor also feels a certain heaviness coming from you, he usually tends to quickly hang up, even if the business part of the conversation has not yet been completed. Try to learn how to breathe easily and silently, and if you don’t feel like learning and don’t have time, then at least try not to show that you have heavy breathing. It is very useful to do brief breathing attunements before serious negotiations, when you observe your own inhalations and exhalations for about a minute, and then, after sighing once, start a conversation.
The art of proper pauses is very important and can be a powerful tool for achieving effective goals in a conversation. However, remember that in a telephone conversation, pauses should be somewhat shorter than in a live conversation, where during silence you can go to the window or stand near the chandelier so that your interlocutor can better see your expression and understand what is behind your words. Since there is no way to send a signal about your posture and facial expression in a telephone conversation, be careful with pauses: if they drag on for too long, the interlocutor may think that the connection has been disconnected and you simply cannot hear him. At the same time, pauses are needed if you are talking on the phone at the speed of Zhirinovsky, without taking any breaks - hardly anyone will like it. Sometimes a pause is required to take a breath, as if instantly throwing off fatigue and filling your whole being with energy.
During a telephone conversation, try to maintain an optimal energy tone and a harmonious state of your own chakras. When people talk on the phone, almost all chakras are involved, but the leading center is the throat center - the vishuddha chakra. This center is most nourished by two other centers adjacent to it - anahata, or the heart center, and ajna - the center of reason, responsible for mental work.
It can be very useful to use keywords or phrases in a telephone conversation that help to better understand the essence of the issue. Since, when communicating through a tube, a person uses only one auditory perception channel, it is not always easy for people who have well-developed other channels (visual, tactile) to absorb information by ear. If you are faced with the fact that the information you transmit is difficult to digest by your interlocutor, start entering words from the conceptual kind of other channels of perception. Tell him more often - imagine, imagine, try to see or feel, feel, touch.
Once we checked these words with my client, who had big problems at work with the customer, who did not accept any proposals and options when discussing the work, which greatly slowed down the process. The customer interrupted him several times, the pipe glowed with discontent, although they needed each other. Then Maxim, my client, on my advice changed his vocabulary, began to use words from a different semantic range. The result was not slow to tell.
Learn to compress information during telephone communication, gather consciousness and will together and try to speak as accurately as possible, choosing words. Remember that you have a few minutes to say the main idea and convey the most essential, ruthlessly pushing aside the superfluous.
METHODS OF REFLECTION OF TELEPHONE AGGRESSION
This table will help you better navigate the process of business telephone conversations with clients and build a more comfortable and at the same time secure communication strategy.| Do not speak | speak |
| Explain to me what you want. | How can I help you? |
| I'm sorry to disturb you. | Thank you for giving me attention. |
| Yes, but... | Yes, that's why... |
| No problems. | Yes, I agree with you. |
| Hello! | Yes, I am listening to you. |
| Hello! Hello! What are you saying? | You hear me? |
| In two or three weeks the issue will be resolved ... | The issue will be resolved on June 20. |
| I don't know. | I will try to find out. |
| I do not know. | I'll find out. |
| You are wrong/ | Please, clarify what you mean. |
| Is not a fact! | Something must have happened. |
The following table, compiled by management specialist S. R. Filonovich, is devoted to the ability to conduct a telephone conversation with different people:
I. With persistent and demanding interlocutors.
Listen - and you will understand what the interlocutor requires.
Contrast the interlocutor's perseverance with your perseverance, but be "one step behind."
Use closed questions more often to control the flow of the conversation.
Be friendly, but precise and direct in your statements.
Be polite.
II. With an aggressive interlocutor.
Listen carefully and then you will understand what worries the interlocutor.
Establish contact by expressing sympathy and regret in general terms.
Propose an action plan and then implement it.
Keep your cool and don't give in to the other person's mood.
Be polite.
III. With a conversational interlocutor.
Ask closed questions.
Watch for pauses in conversation.
Do not give in to the interlocutor, do not let him drag you into a long conversation.
If you learn how to effectively, briefly, concisely and competently conduct telephone conversations, then this will make it easier for you to get away from the psychological pressure and "attacks" that all business people often have to hear on the phone. However, it is useful to apply specific methods of repelling aggression:
When the phone rings, be psychologically prepared for anything, including the fact that right now you will receive unpleasant information, be attacked and criticized. Most often, those people who approach the phone with an imposing step in a relaxed, benevolent mood receive and “miss” blows. And at the same time, do not strain yourself - neutral information and state always give a greater range of responses.
If you hear the voice of a person on the phone who you think will start attacking you, try a preemptive strike or counterattack as a response strategy. You can do this in a hard way, presenting him with some kind of accusation (the main thing is that it is fair) or in a soft way, clearly directing the conversation in a different direction and not allowing yourself to be drawn into a showdown.
From the very beginning of the conversation, put up a mental shield that will separate you from this person and surround you with energy through which it will be difficult for an aggressive force from the outside world to break through. The technology of building this shield in live communication, which is quite applicable in a telephone conversation, is described in detail in "Invisible Armor".
When we are pierced during a telephone conversation, and we feel a wound or an energy breakdown, this means that for a brief moment we still identified with the phone and the interlocutor, as if he were next to us and even a part of us. And he is actually on the other side of the city, or even on the other side of the planet. Remember it, feel it and try not to forget it during the conversation. "Spatial shield" - a mental distance from the object of aggression - very well helps to maintain emotional balance when talking through a telephone receiver.
Regardless of whether or not you were “punched” in a telephone conversation, tune in to free yourself from the energy received during such communication. Sometimes this energy trails behind a person in a dark trail for a long time, poisoning his mood and preventing him from acting effectively and successfully, achieving his goals. Therefore, whenever you end a telephone conversation and are about to either call someone else or take on new cases, mentally shake off the old energy from yourself, free yourself from unpleasant experiences and memories, tune in to a feeling of complete freedom from all images and feelings of the past.
If you yourself, out of necessity, call an unpleasant person who, as you are sure, will oppose you with all his might, try to imagine what result you want to get. Assess the strength of his resistance and tune in to break his resistance. After you hear an irritated answer, encounter opposition that deflects your will, try to speak in such a way as to return the situation to its original level. Imagine that through a telephone conversation there is a struggle between two auras, two energies that collide with each other over words. Try to believe that behind you is a wall of light energy that protects you, and when you begin to attack on a logical and volitional level, this wall moves towards your opponent and pushes the debater away, removing him from the circle of your attention. Of course, all such images should be supported by successful verbal behavior, apt words, verified arguments, and correctly placed accents. Remember that perseverance and perseverance in achieving your goals and plans is the best key to achieving a state of security, which is very helpful in both ordinary and telephone relationships.
Chapter 13. PROTECTION FROM A CRIMINAL-AGGRESSIVE ENVIRONMENT
"One is prejudiced murder, but the other is defense. When you are attacked by the dark ones, it is necessary to defend yourself. The thought of defense is not murder. Everyone can defend himself first of all by the strength of the spirit."Living Ethics
"The Way of the Warrior is based on humanity, love and sincerity: the heart of martial prowess is true courage, wisdom, love and friendliness. Relying only on the physical aspects of belligerence is meaningless, because the power of the body is always limited."
Morihei Ueshiba
"Each bandit, even if he is much stronger than you, deep down knows that he is wrong. Each victim, even when she is weaker than a bandit, must remember and believe that she is right. In addition, the victim can always call on God for help, and bandit never."
(English proverb)
“It happened a few years ago,” says Galina, an accountant for forty-four years old, who belongs to the category of spiritual seekers and regularly attended my seminars, lectures and trainings for several years. “It was a difficult but amazing period in my life, full of novelty and surprises. "The research institute where I worked was gradually curtailed. If at first the employees were fired due to a reduction in staff and they were paid benefits, then they simply did not pay salaries so that we ourselves left, and then there was no need to pay benefits at all. I have two children ", they need to be fed, and I decided to act. With the last money I completed accounting courses and almost went hungry for a month, sat on water and bread. After completing the courses, I began to look for work through ads. But no one hired me. I went to the labor exchange, but there was nothing there either! had experience. She turned in prayer to her spiritual teacher. And then at the exchange they give me the address of the factory, I go there, and the chief accountant immediately takes me to work. Small team, low pay. Yes, and a neighbor on the table - a complete alcoholic. Sometimes I just didn't want to go to work, but I went and knew that Master would not leave me, that the time would come and there would be a new job suitable for me. I had amazing dreams. And once in a dream I saw the Teacher, I ran to him. And when I ran to him, a star fell into my hands from the sky. The next day I was offered a job in a successful company with a salary several times higher than mine. I agreed, not knowing what to expect. The chief, seemingly pleasant, turned out to be a tyrant. His favorite saying is "you're only to blame for the fact that I want to eat." He just bullied me, found fault with every little thing, made an elephant out of a fly. Shouted: "One more mistake and I'll fire you." Of course, I was very worried, knowing how difficult it is to find a job. But at some point, I suddenly realized that this work was given to me by the Teacher, and when the time comes, he will take it away. And no matter how sophisticated this boss is, he cannot fire me. And then came the calm. Now all his nit-picking evoked in me only an inner smile. But on the other hand, I understood that in this situation we are both to blame. And I often prayed for both of us: "Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on us." Especially when I had to go with him to the bank by car. I felt his mood, began to pray, and he changed before my eyes. But, I decided, as soon as a new suitable job appears, I will immediately leave. And then the work appeared. I wrote a letter of resignation and in two weeks I had to leave, although in everything, except for the boss, the work suited me. The next day, when I come to work, I find out the news that is stunning for me: this boss himself was fired. And the new one, having taken up duties, began to persuade me to stay. But I was bound by a promise at a new job and left."
Kovalev, Pavel Anatolievich 1996CHAPTER 1, AGGRESSION AND AGGRESSION AS A PSYCHOLOGICAL PROBLEM. 7.1/1.1. Concepts of "aggression" and "aggression".
VI.2. Theoretical approaches to the study of the nature of aggression and aggressiveness. \At 1.3. Types of aggression.
1.4. Age-sex, personality traits and a tendency to aggression.
1.5. Aggression and social status.
CHAPTER 2. ORGANIZATION OF RESEARCH OF THE STRUCTURE OF AGGRESSIVE BEHAVIOR AND AGGRESSIVENESS.
2.2. Organization and methods of studying the structure of aggressiveness and aggressive behavior.
CHAPTER 3
AGGRESSIVE BEHAVIOR AND PERSONAL AGGRESSION (CONFLICT). at 3.1. The severity of the tendency to various types of aggressive behavior in schoolchildren of different ages.
V/ 3.2. Age-sex. features of the manifestation of a tendency to aggressive behavior.
3.3. Types of aggressive behavior.
3.4. Types of aggressive behavior and social status of schoolchildren in the classroom.
3.5. The study of aggressiveness (conflict) in schoolchildren of different ages and gender.
3.6. The relationship of aggressive (conflict) personality traits with a tendency to aggressive behavior.
Dissertation Introduction in psychology, on the topic "Age and gender characteristics of the reflection in the mind of the structure of one's own aggressiveness and aggressive behavior"
Relevance of the topic. The problem of aggression and aggressiveness occupies a significant place in psychological research, especially abroad. Between 1964 and 1973, there were three times as many publications on the topic of aggressiveness than in the previous three decades; and only for the period from 1970 to 1976, according to the data of OMBon- ner, more than 1200 papers were published. By the mid-1980s, more than 350 monographs had been written. And yet, many issues have not received adequate coverage. At the same time, it should be noted that domestic psychologists have clearly insufficiently studied aggressiveness.
Meanwhile, the problem of aggression and aggressiveness is becoming more and more urgent. All people, to one degree or another, have a certain potential for aggressiveness. But against the backdrop of economic and political instability, the nervousness and nervousness of people is increasing. People are becoming less restrained and tolerant of each other. It seems to them that the people around them have become more aggressive, angrier, dishonorable. The survey conducted by E.Golovakha and A.Kronik gave the following results. 46% of respondents aged 17 to 58 would like to add confidence and determination to themselves, and only 10% - benevolence and tolerance. On the other hand, 50% of the same number of respondents wanted to add kindness and humanity to other people. And from 22% to 28% said that other people need to get rid of anger, aggressiveness, dishonesty. Feeling insufficiently confident in this world, people would like to strengthen themselves through endurance, will, and determination. According to the authors, the demand for "soft components" - tolerance, goodwill - is low - 1 out of 10. Thus, people would like to add "fighting qualities" to themselves, and to others - kindness and humanity.
In addition, according to a number of studies, the demonstration of violence in films and on television also leads to an increase in aggressiveness, especially among young people, which finds an outlet in antisocial and criminal behavior. However, to see only the negative side of aggressiveness, apparently, is not entirely legitimate. And although “positive” aggression, according to a number of authors, is rather an exception that takes place in a narrowly specialized area and it is generally accepted to understand aggression as harmful behavior, nevertheless, an aggressive offensive manner of conducting martial arts is encouraged by sports rules and judges. Assertiveness in discussions , including diplomats and scientists, also cannot be attributed to the shortcomings of their activities. In this regard, obviously, it is necessary to reconsider the role of aggressiveness and aggression only as a negative phenomenon, and it is advisable to talk about positive aggressiveness as well. Hence, the problem can get a new sound, and the phenomenon of aggressiveness can be studied in a broader sense.
Therefore, we are impressed by the views of the German psychotherapist G. Ammon, who argued that a person is born with the potential of "constructive aggressiveness", by which he understood the desire to master and study the world, to creative self-realization and considered it as an element of search behavior. He believed that with proper upbringing, constructive aggressiveness develops and intensifies, stimulating a person to creative and harmonious improvement, and with upbringing mistakes, when the child’s initiative is directly or indirectly suppressed, when constructive aggressiveness does not find realization in games, in communication with adults and peers, when a child encounters family conflicts that traumatize him or manifestations of double morality, then destructive aggressiveness appears.
Given this, the study of this problem for developmental psychology and educational psychology is of particular importance. What is the nature of aggressiveness, how the motive of aggressive behavior is formed, what types and forms of aggression are preferred by children of different ages and genders, how to prevent negative manifestations of aggressiveness and direct it in a prosodic direction - these and many other questions are important for the Formation of a child as a person, for preventing conflicts in the family and school, from which antisocial aggressive behavior quite often begins (except for criminal aggression). In the domestic literature, quite a lot of attention is paid to the problem of conflicts, however, the individual and gender-age characteristics of subjects prone to conflicts, and through them to asocial aggression, are clearly not studied enough.
All of the above determined the choice of the dissertation topic - the study of age-sex characteristics of the reflection in the mind of the structure of one's own aggressiveness and aggressive behavior.
The object of the study is the students of the general education school and students of the Russian State Pedagogical University. A. I. Herzen.
The subject of the study is the reflection in the minds of the respondents of the structure of their own aggressiveness and aggressive behavior, and their age and gender characteristics.
The purpose of the study is to study the structure of aggression as a specific behavioral act, and aggressiveness as a specific mental property of a person.
Research hypotheses:
1. Aggressiveness as a psychological phenomenon is a complex psychological characteristic of a person, which includes many personality traits, of which we selected the following for empirical research: vindictiveness, intolerance towards the opinions of others, suspicion, irascibility, resentment, intransigence, offensiveness, uncompromisingness.
2. There is a certain connection between aggressive behavior and aggressiveness, but these phenomena are not identical.
3. The structure of aggressive behavior is a system consisting of four components:
Two types of aggression - Physical and verbal aggression,
Two forms of aggression - direct and indirect aggression,
These four components are the main components of the structure of any aggressive behavior.
4. The structure of aggressive behavior is associated with gender and age characteristics.
5. The level of severity of aggressiveness and aggressive behavior is associated with the position in the system of interpersonal relations (social status).
Research objectives:
1. - develop a methodology (questionnaires) that allows you to assess the level of aggression, to differentiate the tendency to one or another type of aggressive behavior from aggressiveness as a personality trait,
2. - reveal the structure of aggressive behavior;
3. - to reveal the connection between aggressive behavior and aggressiveness;
4. - to analyze the relationship of gender and age characteristics of the personality with the structure of aggressiveness and aggressive behavior,
5. - to study the question of the relationship between the student's tendency to aggressive behavior and his position in the system of interpersonal relations.
The scientific novelty lies in the fact that the propensity to different types of aggressive behavior and aggressiveness as a property of the individual have been studied as independent psychological phenomena. The structure of these Phenomena, their age and sex characteristics are shown, the types of aggressive behavior of adolescents and young men, the relationship between the type of aggressive behavior and the social status of a student in the class are revealed. Relationships between various personal characteristics (suspicion, vindictiveness, intransigence, irascibility, offensiveness, resentment, intolerance towards the opinions of others, uncompromisingness) and a tendency to aggressive behavior are revealed. The same personality traits form the core of such a complex personality trait as aggressiveness.
The practical significance of the work lies in the development of a methodology for identifying a tendency to different types of aggressive behavior and aggressiveness as personality traits suitable for use by school psychologists.
Approbation of work. The main results of the study were reported at the Herzen Readings in 1994, 1995 and 1996. A.I. Herzen.
The structure and scope of the dissertation. The dissertation is presented on 130 pages of the main text and consists of an introduction, three chapters, and a conclusion. The list of references includes 133 sources. The dissertation contains 26 tables and 2 appendices.
Dissertation conclusion scientific article on the topic "Pedagogical psychology"
The results of the study showed that this type of aggressive behavior occurs in 6 people - 2.5% of the students surveyed.
Not being able to give a comparative histogram of the representation of these types and their variants separately, because the variants included in them do not appear independently, we present a comparative histogram of the representation of all invariant types of AP.
The total number of persons with invariant types of AP is 56 people, which is 23% of the total sample.
¡ "I:: 1! And uash
K-F K-V P-F n-in A. among the total number of respondents n-in p-f k-in k-f B. within own sample
Rice. 7 Histogram of representation of invariant types of AP.
Based on the fact that for real recognition of preferred aggressive reactions (a way of aggressive behavior), the main semantic load, from the entire structural chain, is carried by the first paired combination of the type and Form of aggression (for example, the presence of a direct-verbal (P-V-f-k) in a person ) of the direct type of AP or the direct-verbal (V-P-to-F) variant of the verbal type of AP, as well as the directly direct-verbal (P-V) type of AP, is an indicator of their preference for direct verbal aggression), we believe that it is possible to speak only about eight distinguished types of AP. And their variants, depending on the leading (preferred) aggressive reaction, are attributed to the corresponding type of AP. Given this types of AP. the leading methods of AP corresponding to them and their representation among the total number of respondents will look as follows;
CONCLUSION.
Our dissertation research was aimed at studying the structure of aggression, as a specific behavioral act, and aggressiveness, as a specific psychological property of a person.
The work recorded the correspondence between the theoretical positions put forward by us and the collected empirical material on the problem of "Age and gender characteristics of the reflection in the mind of the structure of one's own aggressiveness and aggressive behavior."
In the course of the implementation of the tasks set, we received a sufficient amount of theoretical and empirical information confirming the validity of the previously put forward hypotheses;
1. Aggressive behavior can be expressed in two forms (Physical and verbal) and in two Forms (direct and indirect). On average, the tendency to verbal form of aggression is more pronounced than to physical and direct form of aggression than indirect.
The combination of structural components of aggression determines the type of aggressive behavior, which reflects the individual characteristics of the individual.
2. There are gender characteristics of a tendency to aggressive behavior. In male aggressive behavior, the form of aggression is decisive, and in males, a tendency to direct aggressive behavior is more pronounced. In females, aggressive behavior is determined by the type of aggression and to a greater extent there is a tendency to verbal aggression,
3. With age, from middle to high school, there is a non-linear change in the severity of propensity to aggressive behavior. The greatest severity of this behavioral feature in boys is noted in grades 6 and 8-9, and in girls in grades 5 and 7.
4.1. Aggressiveness (conflict) is a complex personal quality, including irascibility, resentment, intransigence, vindictiveness, uncompromisingness, offensiveness, intolerance towards the opinions of others, suspicion. To a greater extent, schoolchildren of all classes expressed irascibility and offensiveness, to a lesser extent
Vindictiveness (especially in girls) and uncompromisingness. Many of the aggressive (conflict) properties we have selected for empirical research are in close connection with each other, forming an integral structure of the integral property of the personality.
Aggressiveness (conflict).
4.2. Aggressiveness (conflict) is associated with a tendency to aggressive behavior: the greater the first, the greater the second. The greatest number of connections with a tendency to aggressive behavior have such components of aggressiveness as resentment and vindictiveness.
4.3. The closeness of the connection between the total indicator of aggressiveness (conflict) and different ways of aggressive behavior is different: more closely with indirect verbal aggression and direct verbal aggression (the latter connection is especially pronounced in girls), and less closely or not at all (in boys.) With direct physical aggression.
4.4. With an increase in the age of schoolchildren, the number of reliable links between general aggressiveness (conflict) and methods of aggressive behavior decreases, which may indicate an increasing role of students' volitional control over their behavior.
4.5. With the exception of the 7th, r "0 class, the total indicator of aggressive-nonsense (conflict) is greater in boys than in girls.
5. The level of severity of the tendency to aggressive behavior and the type of aggressive behavior is associated with the social status of students. Among the "leaders" the largest percentage is made up of people with the direct Physical leading method of AP. The vast majority of them are boys. The second place among the "leaders" belongs to persons with a direct verbal leading method of AP. Here, the overwhelming majority belong to girls. And the third place among the "leaders" belongs to persons with an indirect verbal way of AP. The vast majority of them are also girls. The predominant majority among the identified "leaders" are individuals with a high and medium level of propensity for aggression. Among the outcasts, the most identified were those with a direct verbal leading method of AP. There were no outcasts with an indirect verbal leading method of AP at all.
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This table will help you better navigate the process of business telephone conversations with clients and build a more comfortable and at the same time secure communication strategy.
The following table, compiled by management specialist S. R. Filonovich, is devoted to the ability to conduct a telephone conversation with different people:
I. With persistent and demanding interlocutors.
Listen - and you will understand what the interlocutor requires.
Contrast the interlocutor's perseverance with your perseverance, but be "one step behind."
Use closed questions more often to control the flow of the conversation.
Be friendly, but precise and direct in your statements.
Be polite.
II. With an aggressive interlocutor.
Listen carefully and then you will understand what worries the interlocutor.
Establish contact by expressing sympathy and regret in general terms.
Propose an action plan and then implement it.
Keep your cool and don't give in to the other person's mood.
Be polite.
III. With a conversational interlocutor.
Ask closed questions.
Watch for pauses in conversation.
Do not give in to the interlocutor, do not let him drag you into a long conversation.
If you learn how to effectively, briefly, concisely and competently conduct telephone conversations, then this will make it easier for you to get away from the psychological pressure and "attacks" that all business people often have to hear on the phone. However, it is useful to apply specific methods of repelling aggression:
When the phone rings, be psychologically prepared for anything, including the fact that right now you will receive unpleasant information, be attacked and criticized. Most often, those people who approach the phone with an imposing step in a relaxed, benevolent mood receive and “miss” blows. And at the same time, do not strain - neutral information and state always give a greater range of responses.
If you hear the voice of a person on the phone who you think will start attacking you, try a preemptive strike or counterattack as a response strategy. You can do this in a hard way, presenting him with some kind of accusation (the main thing is that it is fair) or in a soft way, clearly directing the conversation in a different direction and not allowing yourself to be drawn into a showdown.
From the very beginning of the conversation, put up a mental shield that will separate you from this person and surround you with energy through which it will be difficult for an aggressive force from the outside world to break through. The technology of building this shield in live communication, which is quite applicable in a telephone conversation, is described in detail in "Invisible Armor".
When we are pierced during a telephone conversation, and we feel a wound or an energy breakdown, this means that for a brief moment we still identified with the phone and the interlocutor, as if he were next to us and even a part of us. And he is actually on the other side of the city, or even on the other side of the planet. Remember it, feel it and try not to forget it during the conversation. "Spatial shield" - a mental distance from the object of aggression - very well helps to maintain emotional balance when talking through the handset.
Regardless of whether or not you were “punched” in a telephone conversation, tune in to free yourself from the energy received during such communication. Sometimes this energy trails behind a person in a dark trail for a long time, poisoning his mood and preventing him from acting effectively and successfully, achieving his goals. Therefore, whenever you end a telephone conversation and are about to either call someone else or take on new cases, mentally shake off the old energy from yourself, free yourself from unpleasant experiences and memories, tune in to a feeling of complete freedom from all images and feelings of the past.
If you yourself, out of necessity, call an unpleasant person who, as you are sure, will oppose you with all his might, try to imagine what result you want to get. Assess the strength of his resistance and tune in to break his resistance. After you hear an irritated answer, encounter opposition that deflects your will, try to speak in such a way as to return the situation to its original level. Imagine that through a telephone conversation there is a struggle between two auras, two energies that collide with each other over words. Try to believe that behind you is a wall of light energy that protects you, and when you begin to attack on a logical and volitional level, this wall moves towards your opponent and pushes the debater away, removing him from the circle of your attention. Of course, all such images should be supported by successful verbal behavior, apt words, verified arguments, and correctly placed accents. Remember that perseverance and perseverance in achieving your goals and plans is the best key to achieving a state of security, which is very helpful in both ordinary and telephone relationships.
METHODS FOR RESPECTING TELEPHONE AGGRESSION This table will help you better navigate the process of business telephone conversations with clients and build a more comfortable and at the same time secure communication strategy.
| Do not speak | speak |
| Explain to me what you want. | How can I help you? |
| I'm sorry to disturb you. | Thank you for giving me attention. |
| Yes, but... | Yes, that's why... |
| No problems. | Yes, I agree with you. |
| Hello! | Yes, I am listening to you. |
| Hello! Hello! What are you saying? | You hear me? |
| In two or three weeks the issue will be resolved ... | The issue will be resolved on June 20. |
| I don't know. | I will try to find out. |
| I do not know. | I'll find out. |
| You are wrong/ | Please, clarify what you mean. |
| Is not a fact! | Something must have happened. |
The following table, compiled by management specialist S. R. Filonovich, is devoted to the ability to conduct a telephone conversation with different people:
I. With persistent and demanding interlocutors.
Listen - and you will understand what the interlocutor requires.
Contrast the interlocutor's perseverance with your perseverance, but be "one step behind."
Use closed questions more often to control the flow of the conversation.
Be friendly, but precise and direct in your statements.
Be polite.
II. With an aggressive interlocutor.
Listen carefully and then you will understand what worries the interlocutor.
Establish contact by expressing sympathy and regret in general terms.
Propose an action plan and then implement it.
Keep your cool and don't give in to the other person's mood.
Be polite.
III. With a conversational interlocutor.
Ask closed questions.
Watch for pauses in conversation.
Do not give in to the interlocutor, do not let him drag you into a long conversation.
If you learn how to effectively, briefly, concisely and competently conduct telephone conversations, then this will make it easier for you to get away from the psychological pressure and "attacks" that all business people often have to hear on the phone. However, it is useful to apply specific methods of repelling aggression:
When the phone rings, be psychologically prepared for anything, including the fact that right now you will receive unpleasant information, be attacked and criticized. Most often, those people who approach the phone with an imposing step in a relaxed, benevolent mood receive and “miss” blows. And at the same time, do not strain yourself - neutral information and state always give a greater range of responses.
If you hear the voice of a person on the phone who you think is about to start attacking you, try a preemptive strike or counterattack as a response strategy. You can do this in a hard way, presenting him with some kind of accusation (the main thing is that it is fair) or in a soft way, clearly directing the conversation in a different direction and not allowing yourself to be drawn into a showdown.
From the very beginning of the conversation, put up a mental shield that will separate you from this person and surround you with energy through which it will be difficult for an aggressive force from the outside world to break through. The technology of building this shield in live communication, which is quite applicable in a telephone conversation, is described in detail in "Invisible Armor".
When we are pierced during a telephone conversation, and we feel a wound or an energy breakdown, this means that for a brief moment we still identified with the phone and the interlocutor, as if he were next to us and even a part of us. And he is actually on the other side of the city, or even on the other side of the planet. Remember it, feel it and try not to forget it during the conversation. "Spatial shield" - a mental distance from the object of aggression - very well helps to maintain emotional balance when talking through a telephone receiver.
Regardless of whether you were “punched” or not in a telephone conversation, tune in to free yourself from the energy received during such communication. Sometimes this energy trails behind a person in a dark trail for a long time, poisoning his mood and preventing him from acting effectively and successfully, achieving his goals. Therefore, whenever you end a telephone conversation and are about to either call someone else or take on new cases, mentally shake off the old energy from yourself, free yourself from unpleasant experiences and memories, tune in to a feeling of complete freedom from all images and feelings of the past.
If you yourself, out of necessity, call an unpleasant person who, as you are sure, will oppose you with all his might, try to imagine what result you want to get. Assess the strength of his resistance and tune in to break his resistance. After you hear an irritated answer, encounter opposition that deflects your will, try to speak in such a way as to return the situation to its original level. Imagine that through a telephone conversation there is a struggle between two auras, two energies that collide with each other over words. Try to believe that there is a wall of light energy behind you that protects you, and when you begin to attack on a logical and volitional level, this wall moves towards your opponent and pushes the debater away, removing him from the circle of your attention. Of course, all such images should be supported by successful verbal behavior, apt words, verified arguments, correctly placed accents. Remember that perseverance and perseverance in achieving your goals and plans is the best key to achieving a state of security, which is very helpful in both ordinary and telephone relationships.
Chapter 13. PROTECTION FROM A CRIMINAL-AGGRESSIVE ENVIRONMENT
"One is prejudiced murder, but the other is defense. When you are attacked by the dark ones, it is necessary to defend yourself. The thought of defense is not murder. Everyone can defend himself first of all by the strength of the spirit."Living Ethics
"The Way of the Warrior is based on humanity, love and sincerity: the heart of martial prowess is true courage, wisdom, love and friendliness. Relying only on the physical aspects of militancy is pointless, for the power of the body is always limited."
Morihei Ueshiba
"Each bandit, even if he is much stronger than you, deep down knows that he is wrong. Each victim, even when she is weaker than a bandit, must remember and believe that she is right. In addition, the victim can always call on God for help, and bandit never."
(English proverb)
