Guys, we put our soul into the site. Thanks for that
for discovering this beauty. Thanks for the inspiration and goosebumps.
Join us at Facebook and In contact with

8 simple tricks to deal with rudeness.

In France, there is the phrase "l'esprit d'escalier" - "wit on the stairs" - a situation in which the right words to answer the interlocutor were found too late, when you had already left the room on the stairs. It is especially disappointing if there was no timely response to someone's unexpected boorish attack - the impudence of a rude person is often completely confusing.

How to avoid the unpleasant consequences of a boorish attitude? You can, of course, answer "the fool himself" or proudly remain silent, but website invites you to arm yourself better. We have selected eight methods to help you protect your precious peace of mind.

How to react correctly?

You probably noticed that almost no one is rude to some people, while others constantly fall under the hand? Many boors have remarkable intuition and observation. They choose their victims according to the principle of strength-weakness: “This one is sharp on the tongue, it’s better not to mess with him, but you can with this one. He's probably going to say something stupid in response."

The last category includes people with low self-esteem, too cultured and well-mannered, people with an increased sense of guilt, afraid of accidentally offending another, as well as people who avoid conflicts and conflict situations.

Before engaging in fights with offenders, you need to work on your self-esteem, self-confidence and inner strength. After all, it is almost impossible to be rude to the strong.

Politeness

Hams are cowards, they are not accustomed to frankness and calmness. They need to piss you off, don't make them happy. The main thing is to find a middle ground in how to answer: the tone should be calm, you should not apologize or scoff.

For example, someone climbs, pushing, out of turn:

• "Of course of course. Come on, have a nice day."

Another example of a polite response:

• Bus conductor:“Why are you giving me 500 rubles? I don't have change! I'll land now!"
  Passenger(in a serious but calm tone): “I have a long way to go. I would be very grateful if you manage to change the banknote.”

Alienation

If you often have to deal with a boor - for example at work, then the best method is to be coldly polite and immediately stop the conversation as soon as it goes beyond the acceptable limits. For example:

• “Sorry, I have a lot of work right now and don’t have time to listen to you.”
• “I’m sorry, but with questions like this, you better go to the boss (to a specialist, to another employee, etc.), because I have clear instructions not to talk about it (this is not in my competence, I don’t do this anymore and etc.)"

Psychological aikido

The essence of psychological aikido is to use his own strength against the opponent. Let us recall the good soldier Schweik, who, as you know, did not respond to the insults of those who offended him, but ... agreed with them. “Schweik, you are an idiot!” they told him. And he immediately answered: "Yes, I'm an idiot!", - and remained the absolute winner in the verbal "battle" from the first second.

Imagine this dialogue:

• - When will you learn to park? Well, you are a fool!
  - You're right, I'll never learn how to park because I'm stupid.

Or another example:

• "As you said? Am I a lousy intellectual? Yes, I'm really a lousy intellectual. If you don't want to get infected, stay away."

Humor

When a person wants to say something bad, he draws air into his lungs. If you make him laugh at this moment, he will relax. Accompany your joke with a smile, you can even praise your opponent.

• The secretary went to the director during a meeting to bring tea. But she failed. Catching her heel on the carpet, she slammed to the floor, knocking over all the cups. Seeing the director's face turned purple with anger, the secretary blurted out: "You are so stunning!" Everyone in the room immediately laughed.

boredom

This method is suitable for administrators of forums, groups in social networks, etc. It is known that many community members, knowing full well the general rules, deliberately violate them, and then blow up the personal accounts of administrators, expressing sincere disagreement with the fact that they were added to the ban list. When arguments end, rudeness begins.

Of course, you can ban the dissatisfied in a personal, but if you need to defend the rightness, try to describe in detail all the flaws of the violator without emotions. At first, the interlocutor will blow off steam in the hope of having fun, but, having met with a dry official language, he will get bored and fall behind.

• Participant:“Why did I get banned? This is arbitrary! Then write on the page: “We do what we want, we ban the one we want!”.
  Administrator:“You violated paragraph 2 of the rules of such and such. You have been banned for two weeks in accordance with the rules of the forum."
  Participant:“I didn’t break anything and my pictures are normal! It’s you who find fault there, you yourself don’t understand anything in photographs, so don’t interfere!
  Administrator:“For insulting the administration, your ban is extended for another two weeks.”

Hedgehog care

Imagine a hedgehog that released its thorns out of fear. On the one hand, the hedgehog is angry and prickly, and on the other hand, it is small and frightened. One has only to take care of him, as he softens, hides the thorns and puffs contentedly, drinking milk from a saucer.

Same with the abuser. Take a condescending, compassionate stance. Praise him, give him a friendly pat on the shoulder, give in, let him win a game or two, wish him all the most beautiful things in the world. After all, it is quite easy to do. Having calmed down, the offender will no longer be afraid of you and, most likely, will understand that in addition to enemy competition, there is peaceful coexistence and partnership.

Ignoring

The general method for all causes of rudeness is "Ignore". After all, sometimes silence is good, safe and ... beautiful. If you do not need anything from the offender, you are not psychologically ready to fight with him, or your offender, as you think, is psychologically unhealthy, dangerous to life and health - use the Ignore method.

No wonder folk wisdom says: “a fool screams, but a smart one is silent”, “of the two arguing wrong, the one who is smarter.” Hams always strive to win your attention, they also need to somehow feed on your energy. That is why the usual ignoring for them is one of the worst punishments.

It is important to consider: ignoring must be correct. Without a hurtful look and sad sighs. The boor should not take your ignoring for swallowing resentment, inability to respond or forgiveness. There shouldn't be any emotions. The offender for you is an empty place. You are a happy, successful person who has no time to notice such nonsense.

Effective responses to rudeness

If you can’t keep silent, try to answer in an original and apt way:

• "It's all?" or "So what?"
• "I had a better opinion of you"
• "Rudeness does not suit anyone, and even more so for you,"
• “Do you politely answer or tell the truth?”,
• "Why do you always try to look worse than you really are?",
• "Thank you for being so attentive to my person,"
• “You want to offend me? What's the point?"

96 385 0 Hello! In this article, we will talk about how to respond to an insult. When we hear negative statements addressed to us, insults, the first thing that happens is a defensive reaction, we want to snap back and respond with “reciprocity” to the offender. Usually that's what it's supposed to be. The one who offends is trying to throw the other person out of emotional balance. How do you respond appropriately to maintain self-respect? Is it possible to remain unperturbed when they want to humiliate you?

Insult is usually delivered with words, either verbally or in writing. And also it can be expressed in actions (spit, blow, indecent gesture, etc.).

Insults include:

• coarseness;
• rudeness;
• unfounded criticism;
• joking, sarcasm;
• the use of physical force against the will of another person.

How do we feel when we are insulted

• Resentment
• Anger
• Disturbance
• Hatred
• Sadness, despondency
• Despair
• annoyance
• Fear
• Guilt
• Confusion
• Contempt.

A whole host of negative feelings. Each of us is visited by one of them or several at once, when we hear insults addressed to us. And these feelings largely determine what our response will be in this situation. Therefore, their awareness is important in order to learn how to respond correctly to any attacks of others addressed to us.

Why do people insult others

1. Dissatisfaction with one's own life. When a person is unhappy, dissatisfied with his own personality, achievements, his environment, etc., he splashes out his anger on others. They do not even always realize why they offend others (both close people and strangers).
2. Features of temperament, strong excitability. It is not uncommon for people to insult someone or commit a hurtful act towards another person in a fit of anger when they are no longer in control of their emotions. This often happens in a situation of quarrel. When emotions subside and reason returns, many regret what they said or did and ask for forgiveness.
3. Arrogance. There are people who unreasonably believe that some people around them are lower in status. Respectful and friendly communication is not their forte.
4. Self-affirmation at the expense of others. Humiliating others, some feel stronger. Although this is just self-deception. Behind such self-affirmation, as a rule, is self-doubt and an inferiority complex.
5. Lack of culture and education. If the rules of politeness and tolerance were not instilled in childhood, then in adulthood this can result in rudeness and disrespect for other people. And the children, who grew up mostly on the street, were exposed to the adverse influence of the environment and got used to communicate unkindly.
6. Insult for the purpose of provocation. This method is resorted to when they want to piss off a person in order to put him in a bad light in front of others, to drop his reputation. And all this usually happens in front of eyewitnesses.

Analyzing the causes of rudeness, we understand that almost always behind it are self-doubt, many complexes and hidden dissatisfaction with the offender. Such people deserve nothing but pity. After all, they are deeply unhappy. But unfortunately, when we are suddenly confronted with rudeness and insults, we cannot immediately realize this and remain unperturbed. Most often, we react in some way that is familiar to us, far from always effective.

Unsuccessful ways to respond to rudeness and insults

1. Insult in response . This is one of the most common reactions to rudeness, rudeness. Of course, this technique is sometimes justified, and it even happens that you can emerge victorious from the situation. But still, you can’t know for sure at what point your offender will stop and whether he will stop at all. Perhaps his resources will last for a long time, and yours are already running out. So is it worth the risk? Moreover, most likely, an unpleasant aftertaste will remain because they were forced to say all sorts of nasty things.
2. Ingratiation, subordination of the will to the offender . Never allow as an answer to outright rudeness and insult phrases in the style of: “Yes, I agree with you, this is my flaw”, “I’m sorry that I make you nervous with my behavior”, “I myself (myself) don’t like it myself”, “Okay, I will improve” and so on. So you completely lose your face and agree to depend on the one who attacks you. It's better to be quiet for a while. Although with a delay, but a more worthy answer is sure to be found.
3. Use of physical force . Some are so offended by the words or actions of others that they are ready to settle the issue with their fists. But here, you understand, the police are not far away.
4. Try to convince, appeal to the human mind. Behind rudeness, rudeness, there are always some emotions. First, they need to calm down, and only then logic and constructive thinking will return. Therefore, it is useless to immediately try to "reason" the attacker.

These methods fail because:

• They require a lot of energy from us, it is emotionally difficult for us in moments of confrontation with a boor.
• We are dissatisfied with ourselves, because we could not adequately respond to the insult.
• The situation of rudeness haunts us for a long time, we plunge into stress.
• There is a strong desire to take revenge on the offender, we feel hatred for him.
• There is no feeling of inner glee, indicating that we emerged victorious from the situation.
• Over time, it begins to seem that everyone around is rude and asserts itself at the expense of us.

Do not forget that in any interaction with someone, the interlocutor is more influenced not by what we say, but by how we do it and how we look at the same time. When our face turns red with rage, our whole body is tense, our voice is at the limit of its volume - the offender feels a personal victory, ticking that he pissed us off. Or when we withdraw into ourselves, lower our gaze, mumble something quietly and feel that we are about to cry - the boor rejoices again that he managed to suppress us with his pressure.

3 principles that contribute to the successful confrontation of rudeness and insults

1. Respect and love yourself. People around you feel your attitude towards them. It is those who are dissatisfied with their own personality that attract harsh attacks and insults. And when we are in harmony with ourselves, understand and accept ourselves, then it is much more difficult to “drop” us, to piss us off.

Self-respect and self-love create an invisible but tangible defense against rudeness and rudeness. We advise you to read:.

1. Believe in yourself, you have them. With your attitude to successfully overcome conflict situations and inner confidence, you attract positive energy to yourself and strengthen personal resources. You will notice that even outwardly you become more impressive and bolder.
2. Let yourself be. After all, you know a lot. You have those who make you smile. And there are many pleasant moments around that are worth rejoicing. It is important to realize that happiness is in our hands and we must accept it.

Happiness is a process, not some distant goal.

These are the three pillars of your inner harmony and success in relationships with others.

How to respond to rudeness

Task number 1 is to monitor your behavior at the time of the “collision” and learn to at least outwardly demonstrate self-confidence and equanimity when this happens.

1. Ignore rudeness, keep silent. Quite often, this can discourage the opponent. After all, he is counting on the fact that you will be indignant, nervous, enter into an argument with him. And if this does not happen, then his further attacks are meaningless, and the offender can quickly calm down. In addition, you will save your emotions and health. We advise you to read:
   

   Do not think that you look weak at this moment. Feel your inner strength and superiority, and others will feel it.

2. Verbalization of feelings. Rudeness is usually associated with the experience of various negative emotions. Most often, it manifests without mind control. It is important to voice these emotions.
   - a) To direct the offender to realize his feelings, you can say to him: "Are you upset?" or "I understand that this makes you angry".
   b) Express your feelings: "I hate it when you say that". It is important to use the "I-statement" in this case.

Usually this method allows you to reduce the pressure of the rude and slow down his offensive expressions.

1. Ask a Question. If the situation has not yet gotten out of control, and the person has allowed himself a little rudeness, you can ask a question: "Why are you telling me this?" or "Why are you acting like this?" This tactic is effective only in relation to close people and friends.
2. Gather all your inner strength and respond without words with external cues, for example, with the help of a close, strong look into the eyes of the interlocutor for several seconds.
3. If the situation allows, then you can simply stop communicating with the rude person. Phrase example: “This kind of communication is unpleasant for me, and I have to stop it at the moment!” Say it emphatically and leave or hang up if the conversation was on the phone. Often the offender cools down after such words, apologizes and asks to continue the conversation.

How to respond to insults

The responses listed above will also be appropriate in situations where you are offended. Here are some more options for effective answers.

1. Feel sorry for the offender. As we have already found out, those who insult others are unhappy people, dissatisfied with themselves in the first place. If the interlocutor speaks negatively towards you, mentally pity him and feel how aggression and anger towards him are reduced. After all, why get annoyed when he is so miserable and unhappy? You don't even want to waste your precious energy on this person.
2. Connecting fantasy. To make the image of the offender even more miserable, use the visualization technique. At the moment when he spews his insults, imagine him in some ridiculous form (clown, midget, cockroach, bug, in a funny headdress, etc.) You can also mentally fence off your opponent with a glass wall: you see him, but that’s all what he says cannot penetrate your side.
3. Can respond nicely to insults. For example, to thank for the attention to your person: "Thank you for your interest in me". Or if you hear insults from a familiar person, then you can answer him with a smile: "I'm crazy about you too!" or "Your words won't stop me from loving you!"
4. Make the offender answer for his words. Ask for examples to back up the criticism. You can tell him: “What exactly is this manifested in?” or "Prove that I..."
5. You can answer your opponent with smart words. Clarifying questions often help to interrupt the endless stream of insults. For example: "What do you want from me?", "Can you suggest something?" Usually these phrases confuse the offender.
6. Humor can also work in your favor in this case.. The ability to witty answer is always a good defense weapon.
   Examples: “But from now on, I’ll ask you in more detail, please,” “Listen, how can you come up with nasty things so quickly? Or have you been preparing all night?”, “It’s really very hot here - your brain is already boiling!”
7. Call to conscience. You can openly ask the interlocutor: “How would you yourself respond if you were insulted like that?” This will discourage him, and turn his thoughts into a constructive direction.

All answers must be spoken calmly and confidently. You can do this both seriously and with a smile (depending on the situation and the type of reaction). Try to look directly into your opponent's eyes. This is an indicator of your courage.

How to respond to rudeness - examples of phrases

If we distinguish between rudeness, insults, rudeness, then the latter most often comes from strangers, unfamiliar or not particularly significant people for us. Therefore, we must always have such an attitude: everything that is pronounced by those with whom we have no relationship should not drive us crazy.

Feeling sorry for the boor or presenting him in a funny way, as in previous cases, are also effective techniques for coping with your own negative emotions at the time of a psychological attack.

The main rule is in no case to stoop to the level of a boor and not to use his own methods in response.

1. Ignoring fits perfectly in this case. You can not look at the offender at all (he is an empty place). Mentally imagine yourself, for example, as a stone or a mighty oak, the stability of which cannot be broken.
2. Don't take everything said personally. After all, quite often it turns out that you just fell under the “hot hand” (or rather, under the “hot” tongue) of the boor. And he, in turn, is angry at the whole world and his life in particular. But expresses anger in such an uncivilized way. It remains only to pity this unfortunate boor and sympathize with him.
3. Reduce the importance of what was said. For example: “Do you really think I care about your opinion?” or "Probably a very valuable remark, but I'm purple!"
4. Smile. A smile will strengthen your internal resources and will cause bewilderment in a boor.
5. It will be appropriate answer funny and sarcastic. This will defuse the situation and give you the opportunity to become the master of the situation. “You must be feeling a lot better! Congratulations!" or “The audience is thrilled! Are you working for her?"
6. direct question: “You are rude to me. Do you want to hurt me or do you have another goal?
7. You can make the offender think: “Be careful with your expressions. They say that everything said can come back to you in double size..
8. Bold answer. For example: “You are unoriginal, come up with something better next time”.
9. Rate the offender: “Rudeness does not suit you”, “I hope that rudeness is just your mask, and in fact you are better.”
10. Release in peace:“Don't worry, and happiness will come to you. Less negativity - and everything will work out!

It is important not only to prepare for situations of rudeness and be able to correctly respond to rudeness and insults, but also in general to pay attention to your approach to life and, if necessary, change it. Be positive in everything and do not expect “kicks” from life and others. Appreciate and love yourself, and other people will treat you the same way. Do not take everything very close to your heart, because it is one. Better let him fight at full strength, enjoy life and breathe deeply!

How to respond to an insult

Useful articles:

On a beautiful summer day, my friend and I decided to go to the beach. The weather is wonderful, the mood is excellent, the bus is air-conditioned. And then some passenger, passing by us, throws a rude phrase that it is not at all necessary to stand on the aisle, they blocked, they say, the passage of the pigalis. Light shock was replaced by a spoiled mood. Thank God, it quickly passed, but the case made me think: how to respond to rudeness and rudeness, and at the same time not spoil the mood of my beloved?

Transport, work, random passers-by can become a source of rudeness or outright rudeness that will unsettle you for a long time. Therefore, we studied the advice of psychologists and this is what we found out.

Why are people being rude?

Psychologists are sure that with the help of rudeness, stubbornness, rudeness, a person tries to make others respect him. So you can significantly raise the status, show strength, the rude man is sure. In fact, it is evidence of human weakness. A rude person does not have enough patience, dignity, confidence to win favor in other ways.

back to contents

If you are rude and insulted

Is it even worth responding to rudeness at all? Imagine the situation: in the forest you met a stump, which for some reason you wanted to kick. And this is done by everyone who is not too lazy (and not too lazy for many, as most people admitted). Further development of events depends on the stump itself: if it is rotten and partially falls apart, the next desire of the kicker will be the final destruction of the stump. After all, no one needs it: you can’t sit on it, it’s not good for firewood. And if the stump is still hard? You could even hurt your leg! Now imagine that the stump is you (sorry for the unflattering comparison), and the one who kicks it is your offender.

If people react violently to taunts and insults, a rude person, by all means, wants to break these people like a rotten stump. If the victim remains calm, you will not want to pester him next time. Such reactions can be observed especially clearly in children. Therefore, if you do not react to rudeness, as the offender wants, he will leave you alone very soon.

back to contents

Sometimes you still need to react to rudeness

Sometimes we are unsettled by tactless questions or statements from people we know and strangers. Why aren't you married yet? And how old are you? Oh, are you well again? This is real rudeness, but often the person asking such questions does not understand it himself. How to respond to such attacks?

The best way is to answer a question with a question. You may ask: "Why are you interested in this?". Or: “Why do you need to know such details from my personal life?”. And then say: “Sorry, but I don’t want to answer.” It turns out both directly and politely.

back to contents

How to respond to rudeness

In order to properly respond to rudeness and rudeness, psychologists recommend mastering the techniques of assertive behavior. It sounds scientifically incomprehensible, but in fact, mastering this technique is not difficult. You will not let your emotions take over and you will calmly respond to unkind attacks. To do this, you need to say out loud the shortcomings that you are accused of. This is very effective because it does not meet the expectations of the offender, who thought to hear an angry reaction and is already internally ready for a small or big battle. But he hears: “Yes, it’s my fault, I moved the documents to another place, but I forgot to warn you.” After that, a pause will hang, since the person accusing you will not immediately answer this (he was preparing for completely different events). And if he, when the stupor passes, continues to accuse you again, agree with his opinion, and he will again have no trump cards left - you agree with him, it is simply useless to continue being rude. If the offender finds the strength to continue a one-sided dispute, he will look, to put it mildly, unattractive in the eyes of the team. You will be looked upon as a victim of unfair treatment, even if you are really at fault.

back to contents

What to do in response to the rudeness of outsiders?

Do not confuse rudeness and criticism. If criticism, even harsh, is always aimed at some result, then rudeness is one of the types of unjustified aggression that is directed at a specific person or group of people. When you are rude, it is, of course, unpleasant, but it is possible and necessary to learn how to respond without losing self-esteem.

• not to notice

The best thing to do is to ignore the boor. If you pretend you didn't hear him and act like it doesn't concern you, he will lose interest in you and look for another object to direct his aggression towards. After all, boors are waiting for a response. And the more emotional it is, the more actively you will be rude.

You don't have to show your resentment. In the end, this is exactly what the boor was trying to achieve. Why please him? Say that his words are unpleasant to you, but nothing more.

• regret

If you can’t leave barbs and insults unnoticed, take pity on the offender. After all, if he does so, he is inadequate. He has some problems. This man is really unhappy. He is unloved, unkind, unheeded by his parents, and perhaps by his chosen ones. So he tries to compensate for everything with rudeness, which he considers a defensive reaction. If you treat him like a wretch, his plans for you will change dramatically. The main thing is that your reaction does not serve as an excuse for the offender.

• Upload philosophy or respond with a joke

If you are rude, you can answer with a complex clever phrase. Ask the offender some smart question directly, preferably even if it is rhetorical. It is unlikely that a rude person will understand what exactly they want from him, but he will definitely stop. For example: “Confucius said that good should be repaid with good, and evil with justice. Do you think the great Confucius was right?

Responding to rudeness with a subtle joke is aerobatics. But if jokes don’t come to mind, make a sympathetically cheerful facial expression on which the rude person will read the words “well, you are a fool!” Or answer like this: “Do you want to be rude, my friend? What for? Do you want to offend me? And why do you need it?

• Ignore

Rudeness in our world, unfortunately, is so much that the best way to respond to it is to show indifference. If you avoid rude people, life will be much easier for you. You can learn not to react to others using the following meditation: “I am a leaf on the side of the road. Everyone passes by, no one notices me. Repeat this phrase to yourself if you have become the object of attention of a boor.

• Reply with rudeness for rudeness

"An eye for an eye a tooth for a tooth"? We deliberately put this method at the end, since it has a significant drawback, although reacting to rudeness in this way is the first thing that usually comes to mind. If you put a rude man in his place, answering him in the same way, you sink to his level, do not maintain self-esteem. Repaying rudeness with rudeness is a short cut to being known as a boor yourself.

So, rudeness begins when you are ready to endure it. If you are not going to do it, you will not be rude, whether you hear it or not. Free people do not tolerate rudeness. If you hear humiliating statements in relation to your people or country, if you were poorly served in a cafe, if you hear impudent lies addressed to you, do not tolerate such an attitude. This does not mean that you have to respond with rudeness to rudeness, we have considered a lot of other ways. After all, you are a free man. And only people with a slavish perception of reality suffer. But there is one case when you do not need to respond to rudeness at all. This is rudeness on the Internet.

back to contents

How to respond to rudeness on the Internet

Here we regularly encounter negative comments, aggressive attacks that are in the nature of text messages. Many people get very upset about this. There was a time when I myself went to the forum 20 times a day to check if my offender had left me new public messages, and in between visits, I scrolled in my head what I would write in response to her next attack.

In fact, being upset is completely ridiculous, since these emotions are directed into the void. Understand and accept that these people are completely unhealthy, as evidenced by the excess of aggression that they splash out on the Internet. How do we treat sick people? That's right, we pity them.

Therefore, you should not react to rudeness on the Internet. After all, such people need your attention, they strive to attract it to themselves. And when we give attention to something, we give our own energy. By squabbling with these people, you are giving them what they need. With your answers, you reinforce them, support an aggressive reaction. So that they stop throwing out aggression on Web users, behave with them in the same way as it is customary for young children when they are hooligans. Ignore completely - this is the best tactic. Moreover, it is generally unknown who, and it is unknown where, and personally has nothing to do with you. Another thing is if you have a squabble on the Web with a loved one. Here it is better to meet eye to eye and discuss the problems that have arisen.

There are people who in real life constantly suppress aggression in themselves, but from time to time splash it out on the Internet. The reason is clear, because the World Wide Web is an anonymous medium. But these are the personal problems of those people who have nothing to do with you. Therefore, take care of your energy, it will be useful to you for more important things.

How often do you have to deal with rudeness and rudeness from people? Our advice and prepared phrases will help to keep calm, which will calm down any raging person.

Don't take what is said personally

Rudeness is the problem of the one who is rude, and not the one who is forced to listen to offensive words. Imagine the situation: before work, the boss quarreled with her husband, so all her discontent spills out on employees, makes comments, criticizes ideas. As you understand, it's not about you or your colleagues. You have fallen under a hot hand. The barb was uttered at you, but directed at another person.

Treat rudeness like a habit

A person who is chronically rude is often unaware that he is being impolite. He enters the room and does not say hello. He starts a conversation and behaves as if no one is listening to a private conversation. Most likely, your interlocutor always does the same, regardless of the environment. Often boors - boors under any circumstances.

Understand the reasons for rude behavior

It will be much easier for you to deal with your emotions if you remember that there are always reasons for irritability. Maybe the person didn't have a good day, so he didn't think about manners. If you do not like the behavior of someone close, then say: “I think this is rude of you. What is the reason?" The answer can clarify a lot or become a reason for an apology. If they do not follow, then the wisest decision is to reduce communication.

Know when it's best to leave silently

If strangers are rude to you, it is better to turn around and leave so as not to aggravate the situation. Why do you need extra problems? You never know if the offender will attack you with fists if you answer him. Safety first. Sometimes you need to leave, even if colleagues, acquaintances or relatives showed rudeness. Sooner or later they will realize that you are not going to be a whipping girl.

Kill with Kindness

Be kind and forgiving to those who are rude. This does not mean at all that you should endure or follow the biblical saying and turn your right cheek, then your left cheek. Be emphatically polite, ask if you can help the person with something, smile. Behave like Dr. Aibolit with a robber. Your opponent does not count on such a reaction, so you will come out of this situation with a sense of inner triumph.

Show empathy

Try to console or calm the person. For example, in a crowded transport, you accidentally stepped on someone’s foot, apologized, but the “victim” still flared up. In this case, you can say: “I understand you, I also have difficult days.” If rudeness is not a habit for this person, he will definitely ask for forgiveness for his reaction.

Do not discuss rude behavior with others

Your conversation won't change anything. And from the outside, it will look like gossip if it concerns a mutual friend. When someone came to you with a complaint about the behavior of a colleague, husband, boss, then say that you sympathize, and then change the subject. The advantage of such a strategy is that you will not get a shock dose of negativity, since retelling and listening to stories about rudeness for your psyche is tantamount to experiencing them in reality.

Use blanks

Sometimes a conversation with a rude person knocks the ground out from under your feet, and you don’t know how to react or make an appropriate joke in order to maintain self-esteem and not worry after what happened. In this case, you will need template phrases that will help out at such moments.

I appreciate your point of view. This will show that you are ready to communicate in an adult way and do not want to stoop to the level of tactlessness. It will become clear to the interlocutor that you will continue the conversation only if you see a show of respect.

This conversation is over. This phrase is suitable for when you feel like you can't contain yourself. Maintain dignity and do not allow yourself to act impulsively. A senseless argument should always be stopped. Do it first so you don't feel cut off.

You almost managed to offend me. The phrase must be pronounced with a touch of irony. She has an amazing effect. Rude people usually hope to unbalance the interlocutor, but when they realize that they cannot do this, they stop being rude.

You're right. Another phrase built on sarcasm. You will disarm a person when you agree with everything he has said.

Leave this rhetoric for a more appropriate audience. This is an intelligent and at the same time arrogant phrase that would perfectly suit Professor Preobrazhensky. Pronouncing it with the appropriate intonation, you begin to see Sharikov in your interlocutor.

I love you. This reaction is applicable only in the circle of family and close friends. Everything said before instantly loses its power.

This is one of the first desires that arise after an insult. But a retaliatory attack is appropriate only if it:

• witty;
• takes place in the circle of relatives or friends;
• defuse the situation rather than exacerbate the conflict.

In all other cases, even if you consider yourself a wit worse than Oscar Wilde, answering an insult with an insult is not the best way out. So you sink to the level of a boorish opponent and make it clear that his words hurt you, that is, there may be some truth in them.

2. Make a joke

The difference between a witty insult and a joking response is that in the latter case, you are making fun of the situation itself. The advantages of this strategy are obvious: the insult loses its toxicity, tension, and the audience (if any) takes your side.

In this case, you can also take a pseudo-self-deprecating position. This will confuse your opponent and mask the sarcasm.

Example 1: A colleague says you've prepared an ugly presentation.

Answer: You are probably right. Next time, I won't ask my five-year-old son for help."

Example 2: A stranger calls you names.

Answer: “Thank you, this is very valuable information. You opened my eyes to my shortcomings. Something to think about over lunch."

3. Accept

In some cases, it is really worth analyzing words that seem offensive to you. Especially if they come from people close and respected by you. In this case, take their remarks not as an insult, but as criticism that can make you better.

It would be useful to think about the motives of people, to find out what exactly made them use harsh language. Perhaps this is a violent reaction to your far from angelic behavior.

4. Respond to intent, not words

Any insult always has a hidden purpose. Make the secret clear: designate it.

For example, in response to rude words, say: “Wow! Something really serious happened between us, since you decided to hurt me.

So, on the one hand, you can unsettle your opponent, and on the other hand, find out the reason for his negative attitude.

5. Keep calm

If the insult comes not from a loved one, but from a colleague, acquaintance, or even a stranger, never show that the words hurt you. Most likely, behind them lies insecurity, dissatisfaction with their own lives and a desire to simply recoup you. Don't let the trick work, react calmly and with a smile.

If necessary, continue to bend your line: ask what exactly caused such a reaction in a person, not paying attention to his words.

6. Ignore

Often the best answer is its absence. If we are talking about Internet trolls, you can simply not respond to their comments or send boors to . Well, "in offline mode" you can always skip the insult past your ears or leave. You have every right to do so.

An example from ancient Roman history... Once, in the public baths, someone hit the politician Cato. When the offender came to apologize, Cato replied: "I don't remember the blow."

This phrase can be interpreted as follows: "You are so insignificant that not only do I not care about your apology, but I did not even notice the insult itself."

7. Use the law

You can hold the offender accountable, or at least threaten him with it. Punishment for insult is prescribed in the Code of Administrative Offenses, but slander is already in the scope of criminal law. In case of insults from the boss, you can contact the personnel department.

The main thing - remember: no one has the right to encroach on your honor, dignity and reputation. But you must respond to people in the same way. Otherwise, any recommendations are meaningless.