A person is a part of society, and the attitude of others, assessment of his qualities, attractiveness is important for him. But no less important for us is self-esteem, the attitude towards oneself, which is formed in a person throughout his life. The place in society that we occupy, and the degree of social activity largely depend on the level of our own assessment of our merits and demerits.

In psychology, self-esteem is considered as a complex of a person's ideas about himself, which were formed on the basis of comparing himself with others. These representations play an important role in shaping the image of one's own "I" or.

Consciously or unconsciously, we always compare ourselves with others and evaluate ourselves from the position of “better”, “worse” or “the same as everyone else”. First of all, important, significant qualities for society are evaluated. For example, for a young man of the nobility in the first quarter of the 19th century, it was normal to talk about whether he dances a mazurka better or worse than Lieutenant Rzhevsky. And for a modern person, this quality does not matter, and therefore is not appreciated.

Thus, self-esteem is based on socially significant values, without which it is impossible to realize oneself worthy of respect in a given society and at a given time.

It is clear that you can evaluate yourself in different ways, all the more there are situations when we are satisfied with ourselves and like ourselves, and at other times some act makes us experience acute dissatisfaction, and we are engaged in self-flagellation. But self-esteem as a part of the personality is a stable formation, although it can change, it does not depend on the situational attitude towards oneself. On the contrary, self-assessment corrects this attitude:

• A person with a high opinion of himself will say: “How could I do this, this is completely uncharacteristic for me,” and will try to forget about the oversight.
• And the one who has low self-esteem, on the contrary, focuses on his mistakes, will reproach himself for them for a long time, will think that “he is a crooked loser in life who doesn’t really know how to do anything.”

Types and levels of self-esteem

In psychology, there are two types of self-esteem: adequate and inadequate. Sometimes they also talk about optimal and suboptimal self-esteem, thereby emphasizing that many people tend to rate themselves slightly above average, and this is more of a norm than a deviation. Another thing is how highly we value ourselves.

Adequate self-esteem

Adequate self-esteem to one degree or another correctly reflects the abilities and qualities of the individual, that is, this is a person's idea of ​​himself, which corresponds to the real state of things. Such representations can be both with a + sign and with a − sign, because people are not perfect. For example, when a person says that a bear stepped on his ear, this may not be a belittling of his own abilities in music, but their adequate assessment.

Self-esteem affects all human behavior and attitudes towards oneself and towards other people. So, with adequate self-esteem, an individual:

• correctly assesses the balance of their desires and abilities;
• sets realistic goals that they are able to achieve;
• able to critically look at himself from the outside;
• tries to anticipate the results of his actions.

In general, for a person with adequate self-esteem, the people around him are important. But he also evaluates their opinion adequately, focusing more on his own ideas about the benefits or harms of his actions.

Inadequate self-esteem

Inadequate self-esteem is of two types: low and high. The degree of inadequacy comes in different levels. Self-assessments of a level slightly above or slightly below average are a fairly common phenomenon, and they almost do not manifest themselves in the behavior of an individual, do not prevent him from living and interacting with others. To determine the deviation in this case is possible only with the help of special psychological tests. And self-esteem slightly above average does not even need to be corrected, since a person can quite deservedly respect and appreciate himself, and self-respect has never bothered anyone.

But it happens (and often) that self-esteem is far from optimal and significantly above or below the average level. In this case, it has a serious impact on a person's actions and can lead to inappropriate behavior with others.

Individual characteristics of people with high self-esteem

People with overly high self-esteem can be quickly noticed in any team - they strive to be in the public eye, advise everyone, lead everyone and dominate everywhere. Such people are characterized by the following features:

• they overestimate their capabilities and their importance;
• they do not perceive criticism, and they are annoyed by someone else's opinion that does not coincide with their own;
• often have a superiority complex, considering themselves right in everything;
• emphatically independent and even arrogant;
• reject the help and support of others;
• they blame other people or circumstances for their failures and problems;
• do not notice their weaknesses or pass them off as strengths, for example, stubbornness for perseverance, and arrogance for determination;
• often differ in a demonstrative type of behavior, they like to perform deeds for show;
• tend to be disrespectful towards others.

There is an opinion that it is better to have an overestimated self-esteem than an underestimated one. But it all depends on the level - people who value themselves too highly can be very unpleasant.

Low self-esteem

People with a level of self-esteem significantly below the average are not always immediately noticeable, especially in a team. They do not seek to be seen and seem simply modest. But in the process of communicating with them, their far from the most pleasant qualities are revealed:

• indecision and excessive caution;
• dependence on the opinions of other people and the constant need for their support;
• the desire to shift responsibility, including for their actions, onto the shoulders of others;
• inferiority complex and, as a consequence, excessive vulnerability, quarrelsomeness;
• excessive demands on oneself and others, perfectionism;
• pettiness, vindictiveness and envy;
• suffering from low self-esteem, they nevertheless try to prove to everyone their "toughness" and commit inadequate actions.

Low self-esteem also makes people selfish, only this is a different kind of selfishness. They are so immersed in their failures and obsessed with self-pity that they do not notice the problems of their loved ones. Very often, those who have too low a level of self-esteem do not know how to respect or love.

Structure of self-assessment

In the structure of self-esteem, psychologists distinguish two components: cognitive and emotional:

• The cognitive component (from the Latin cognition - knowledge) includes a person's knowledge about himself, his abilities, skills, capabilities, strengths and weaknesses. This component is formed in the process of self-knowledge and largely affects the level of self-esteem. Inadequate self-esteem, as a rule, is associated either with ideas about one's own "I" that do not correspond to reality, or with their lack of formation.
• The emotional component is the attitude of the individual towards himself and various manifestations of his own personality. that we feel for ourselves are very contradictory: approval and disapproval, self-esteem or lack of it,.

The differences between these two components are purely theoretical, in real life they coexist in an inseparable unity - our knowledge of our qualities is always emotionally colored.

Factors affecting the formation of self-esteem

Inadequate self-esteem is always bad, it creates discomfort and problems for both the person himself and his environment. But can the individual be blamed for a misconception of himself? What influences self-esteem?

Social factors

The foundations of self-esteem are laid in childhood, from the moment when the baby is aware of his "I" and begins to compare himself with other children and adults. But in preschool, and even at primary school age, children still cannot adequately analyze their qualities and their behavior, so the evaluation sphere is formed completely under the influence of adults. Remember how V. Mayakovsky: “The baby son came to his father, and the baby asked: - What is good? And what is bad?

People with a sensitive psyche are more worried about their failures and because of the assessments of others than less emotional ones.

• A person who is dominated by the features of a melancholic tends to get upset even because of a slight accidental remark and remember it for a long time.
• The phlegmatic may not even pay attention to the remark.
• Closed, unsociable, because of the assessments of others, they experience less than sociable extroverts. On the other hand, due to their propensity for demonstrative behavior, they often suffer from inflated self-esteem. But people who avoid people, who prefer loneliness, often consider themselves superior to others, despise those around them who are unworthy of communicating with them.

That is, the individual characteristics of the individual, of course, affect the formation of self-esteem, but the vector of it is set primarily by the social environment. There is another important factor associated with a person's assessment of his own "I".

Claim level

We all strive for something in life, set goals for ourselves. And these goals are different: someone wants to earn money for a new apartment, someone wants to create their own prosperous company, and for someone a trip to the sea is the ultimate dream. The degree of complexity, the difficulty of the goal or task that a person defines for himself, is the level of his claims.

As well as self-esteem, the level of claims can be adequate or inadequate. Adequate is one where the goals correspond to the capabilities of a person. If a school graduate with poor knowledge and low grades in the Unified State Exam decides to apply to a prestigious university in the capital, then he has a clearly inadequate, overestimated level of claims. And when a good student refuses to enter a higher educational institution because he is afraid of failing, then his level of aspirations is too low. Both of these are bad.

The level of claims is formed under the influence of successes and failures that accompany a person on the path of life, and, in turn, affects the formation of self-esteem. After all, an athlete, constantly setting himself a bar over which he will not be able to jump, will very quickly be disappointed in his abilities and in the opportunity to succeed. Yes, and an underestimated level of claims does not contribute to the development of self-esteem and self-confidence.

But psychologists still believe that a low level is worse than a high one and has a bad effect on the formation of a personality and its position in society. It makes a person a socially passive loser, not striving for success.

Self-Esteem Correction

The possibility of changing their self-esteem towards a more adequate one excites many people. This is especially true for mature and seemingly accomplished individuals, when a person realizes that an incorrect assessment of his strengths and capabilities prevents him from achieving success and has a bad effect on relationships with others.

Self-esteem can be corrected even on its own, although in especially neglected cases, the help of a psychotherapist or a counseling psychologist is required. But it’s easier to increase self-esteem than to reduce an inadequately high one. More precisely, there are conditions under which self-esteem decreases, but most often they are unpleasant and even.

If the individual realized that he had an inadequately high self-esteem, then he was able to look at himself critically, and therefore, his self-esteem is not that high. In any case, he is already on the right track.

There are many tips for boosting self-esteem. But first you need to figure out in which area you underestimate yourself. What do you no longer like about yourself or what do you lack to increase your self-esteem? Write out on a separate sheet in a column the main areas in which a person is realized:

• relationships with people;
• professional activity (or choice of profession);
• appearance;
• knowledge level, ;
• hobbies;
• a family.

You can add something important for you. Now rate your success in these areas on a 10-point scale. If the scores are slightly higher than 5 points, then your self-esteem is within the normal range, but you can increase it. And if it is significantly lower than 5, then special attention should be paid to this area.

Think about why you think you are not successful in this area? And what do you lack to feel more confident, start to respect yourself and even admire? Write down on a separate sheet what you need. And start working on eliminating these shortcomings.

As you can see, nothing complicated. And if you would like a “magic pill” or a ready-made recipe, there are none. People are all different, our problems are also different. But there are some general tips to improve self-esteem:

• Stop comparing yourself to others. Remember, each person is unique, not better or worse, just different. And your advantage is that you are different from others.
• Look around and try to see all the best and brightest. Stop, fix this feeling in your head and try not to allow any more negative thoughts - they attract failure.
• Starting any business, focus on success, defeat comes to those who are waiting for it.
• Smile. A smile is a powerful tool that sets our state to positive. But it is no less important that it sets the people around us to a higher appreciation of us.
• Write down all your virtues on a piece of paper and re-read them often, especially when you feel insecure and fear of failure.
• Be more open. Feel free to reach out to people for help and support.

To increase self-esteem, the approval and praise of others is very important. Therefore, find yourself a hobby or hobbies in which you can succeed, and do not hesitate to demonstrate these successes. Draw, knit, cross-stitch, collect pictures from plastic corks or photograph unusual clouds. And share your successes, seek praise. Now with the development of communication in social networks, this is not difficult to do.

Psychology defines self-esteem as a combination of a person's understanding of their capabilities and prospects. He evaluates himself, comparing with the environment, as if observing himself from the side and noting abilities and shortcomings, forming an opinion about the true "I", throughout his life.

Comparison with others goes at the level of "worse", "better", "usual" - everything happens instinctively, even if a person does not want to compare himself to others. In the first place are the qualities that are valued in modern society.

In the 19th century, a young man of noble origin could boast that he was better than Prince Volkonsky in fighting with swords. He compared himself with a person of his class and noticed that he was superior to him, thereby increasing self-esteem. This quality was relevant for the 19th century, the modern world has its own priorities, and no one will assert themselves through fencing.

This example shows us that the assessment of one's abilities and shortcomings depends on the priorities of society. The values ​​that are cultivated by the society in which a person exists are a measure for self-esteem.

A person is constantly engaged in self-esteem: either he is satisfied and ready to praise himself, be proud of his actions, then, on the contrary, he is dissatisfied and worries about his actions, scolds himself for any misconduct. Evaluation of one's personality allows a person to understand himself, even if it changes depending on the situation, but it is she who regulates and builds an opinion about himself.

Consider two options for evaluating your own action by people with different self-esteem:

1. Having made a mistake, a person with high self-esteem admits to himself: “Here I was wrong, but how did it happen, because I always did the right thing” and immediately forget the unpleasant incident and move on.

2. A person with low self-esteem can get hung up on his mistake, he will remember his actions for a long time, reproach himself, he can even decide that he is not capable of anything, as always, everything goes wrong for him.

Types and levels of self-esteem

Psychologists note two types of self-esteem:

adequate;

inadequate.

You can also hear another classification: optimal and suboptimal, when it comes to slightly overestimated self-esteem, which in itself is not critical. That's just the line where the optimal ends and the non-optimal begins is very thin.

Adequate self-esteem

When a person's self-esteem is adequate, he sees himself from the outside and evaluates his capabilities almost as they really are. There are probably no ideal people, and everyone perceives himself in this world and in society in his own way.

Characterizing themselves, someone overestimates the possibilities, and someone underestimates. When there are few errors compared to reality, self-esteem is called adequate.

If a person admits that his hands are growing from the wrong place, he does not suffer from low self-esteem, he just wants to say that he does not like or does not know how to do something with his own hands.

Adequate self-esteem shows that an individual can reasonably evaluate his own and other people's behavior, views.

A person with such self-esteem perceives the world as follows:

1. His “I want” and “I can” correspond to the possibilities.

2. Gives himself the right and achievable settings, not soaring in the clouds at the expense of his potential.

3. Can critically evaluate himself by removing the "pink curtains" from his eyes.

4. He knows what his actions will lead to.

Whoever is ready to take a sober look at himself will not mind hearing someone else's opinion about his beloved. He will not be offended by the point of view of others, because he himself knows his pros and cons very well, and does not get hung up on the opinion from the outside.

Inadequate self-esteem

There are two types of inadequate self-esteem: overestimated and underestimated. They, in turn, differ in the degree of inadequacy. If a person evaluates himself a little lower than the norm, or higher, this does not affect his character and habits in any way, he normally communicates with the environment, he does not have problems with adaptation and the norms of society.

Inadequate self-esteem, slightly above the average, cannot be detected without psychological testing of a person. Slightly inflated self-esteem does not even require adjustment, it is just a sense of self-worth that helps a person to live and appreciate his own achievements.

Another thing is if self-esteem goes off scale in one direction or another. This is immediately evident from the behavior of a person, it interferes with life, creates problems in the socialization of the individual, and leads to conflict situations.

Individual characteristics of people with high self-esteem

If self-esteem is overestimated, a person constantly tries to stand out, he is somewhat arrogant, always speaks out on any occasion, even if he is not competent in the matter, puts himself above others and tries to command.

Distinctive features of such people:

· They have their own “I” in the first place, they attach great importance to their person.

· Inadequately react to remarks from the outside, they will not like an opinion that differs from their own.

· They do not accept outside help, rejecting it, even if they need it.

· In their opinion, they have no weaknesses, they see their negative qualities in a positive light, they try to pass them off as virtues.

· Self-centered, proud, think only about themselves, forgetting about others.

· They manifest mannerisms in behavior, deliberately act in many cases.

Sometimes you can hear that overestimated self-esteem is better than underestimated. This statement does not always correctly characterize the situation; it is not always pleasant and comfortable to communicate and exist next to a person who has too high self-esteem.

Low self-esteem

People with low self-esteem do not like to stand out, they exist in their own quiet world and try to behave in such a way that they are not noticed.

At first glance, they are simply modest and delicate, but if you get to know them better, traits that are not entirely suitable for a normal existence will come to light:

· Endless hesitation for any reason, indecision.

· They constantly turn to others, cannot take the initiative in their own hands.

· They do not like to take obligations, they try to shift the risks to others.

· They do not see prospects in themselves, are sensitive, vulnerable, cannot find common ground with the environment or do not want to.

· Meticulous and capricious, striving for impeccable behavior and demanding the same from others.

· Scrupulous, vindictive, jealous.

· Their actions are sometimes impossible to understand, they strive to prove their importance to everyone, and this results in abnormal antics.

People with severely inadequate self-esteem with a minus sign are also self-centered, but for a different reason. They may not pay attention to others, completely go into their problem. From this, relatives lose, because behind their “suffering” a person does not notice those who are nearby. Among them there are those who have never loved seriously in their lives, they do not have a sense of respect for others, fixation on themselves interferes with these feelings.

Elena Ilyina, a psychologist, family psychologist and gestalt therapist at the Moscow Alyans Mental Health Center, tells how to form an adequate self-esteem in oneself.

What is self-assessment for?

Self-esteem is how high or low a person evaluates his personal qualities and capabilities, how he sees himself and how he interacts with the world around him. If a person's internal self-esteem does not correspond to what others think of him, it is considered inadequate and may be overestimated or underestimated. A person with low self-esteem does not believe in himself, underestimates his knowledge and capabilities, shows indecision or feels a certain inferiority complex in himself. With overestimated self-esteem, a person tends to overestimate his knowledge and abilities: he self-confidently takes on those tasks that exceed his real capabilities, and explains all his failures by external circumstances.

Adequate self-esteem is an objective assessment by a person of his abilities, qualities and capabilities, which corresponds to real results and facts and coincides with what others think about him. People with inadequate self-esteem create a certain discomfort for others: a person with high self-esteem cannot be relied upon, and people with low self-esteem are often boring and pessimistic, have a negative attitude towards everything that happens, notice only negative aspects in everything and see everything around in gray. Psychologists advise staying away from such people, because they negatively affect others, violate their inner harmony, and interfere with their self-development.

Self-esteem is directly related to the level of a person's claims: the higher it is, the higher the level of claims, and vice versa. If you want to improve your standard of living, start increasing your self-esteem and tell yourself that you can do it and you deserve it.

Heightened self-esteem

People with high self-esteem are sure that they are better, smarter and more capable than everyone else, and their actions are the most correct, which can involve them in difficult life situations. It is explained simply. While maintaining high self-esteem, such people ignore personal failures, do not see that their cause lies in themselves, explaining everything by external factors or the machinations of ill-wishers. People with inflated self-esteem take on impossible tasks and set themselves unattainable goals, and failing to achieve what they want, they blame others for this - those who, in their opinion, prevented them from doing it.

Low self-esteem

Low self-esteem is more common than high self-esteem. In this case, a person is constantly in an anxious state and experiences uncertainty in himself and his abilities. Such people are shy, suspicious and very self-critical. They set themselves low, uncomplicated and easily achievable goals, although they could achieve more, they are ready to admit their mistakes and criticize themselves for them, but they cannot praise themselves for their achievements.

"need" and "want"

Most people know very little about their flaws, virtues, feelings, and what they really want. A paradox arises: a person knows what he SHOULD do (he must go to work, be polite, respect his parents, etc.), and does not know what he WANTS to do. We must strive to bring our “must” and our “want” into line.

To achieve this, it is necessary to learn how to adequately assess each situation. If you have to go to work, but you don't want to, try to understand all the reasons that cause this conflict. For example, you are tired, today is Friday, and you had a hard week. Or maybe you don’t like this job and don’t arouse any interest in you. By understanding all the specific reasons, you can avoid internal conflict and reach agreement with yourself.

How to achieve harmony

Most people develop self-esteem by comparing themselves to others. Very often this happens under the influence of external factors: a friend went to fitness and lost weight - I also need to lose weight, a colleague is studying a second foreign language - I need to learn at least English, everyone goes for cosmetic procedures - I also need ... A person strives to be " like everyone else ”and at the same time does not think about whether he wants this himself. Comparing oneself with other people, a person often sets himself impossible tasks. As a result, internal discomfort arises: a person cannot achieve the goals that he himself has come up with and justify his own inflated expectations. This makes him angry, but he does not understand with whom he should be angry: with himself or with external circumstances.

To achieve adequate self-esteem, try to follow a few rules.

Rule One

Remember all your virtues and achievements. This should not be underestimated in any way. If you already have a stable job, the education you wanted to get, the family you dreamed of, this is a reason for self-respect and adequate self-esteem. It is important to learn to enjoy what you already have, here and now.

Rule Two

Stop comparing yourself to others and don't set yourself unrealistic, other people's goals. Try to understand what you want, pursue only your personal goals and do only what you personally like.

Rule Three

If you suffer from low self-esteem, learn to evaluate yourself correctly. Start believing in yourself. Remember that in the world there is not only the word “need”, but also the word “want”: try to understand what you really want and why.

To increase self-esteem, it is important to develop new skills in yourself. It's good to have a hobby or remember something that you once did well: maybe you used to draw or play tennis? It is never too late to return to this - doing what you love brings a lot of joy and increases self-esteem.

Rule Four

Smile more often, thank and praise yourself even for the smallest achievements. Try to notice the good in everything - even in everyday life there is a lot of positive.

Summarizing

The level of self-esteem of a person depends not only on the attitude of others around him, but also on the quality of his life. If you want to improve the quality of life, do not rush to change the environment - start with yourself and with what you want.

There is no need to think that the husband will change for the better, and there is no need to wait until the crisis ends or the child grows up. You need to live here and now, without shifting responsibility for your well-being to a partner or to the world around you and not waiting for someone else to solve your problems. By changing your self-esteem, you can change everything else: your job, your spouse, or even where you live.

- this is a phenomenon that is a value attributed to oneself as a person and to one's own actions by individuals, which performs three core functions: regulation, development and protection.

The regulation function is responsible for making decisions of a personal orientation, the protection function provides personal stability and independence, and the development function is a kind of push mechanism that directs the individual to personal development. The system of meanings and non-meanings of subjects are the core criteria of their own evaluation. An essential role in the formation of an adequate or overestimated (underestimated) level of self-esteem lies in the assessments of the surrounding personality of the individual and his achievements.

self-assessment

Self-esteem is considered one of the most key and significant qualities in the life of an individual. Self-esteem begins to be laid in the early childhood period and affects the entire future life of the individual. It is due to it that human success or failure in society, the achievement of the desired, harmonious development are often determined. That is why its role in the development of personality is almost impossible to overestimate.

Self-assessment, in psychological science, is called the work by an individual of an assessment of his own merits and defects, behavior and deeds, the definition of a personal role and significance in society, the definition of himself as a whole. In order to more clearly and correctly characterize the subjects, certain types of self-assessment of the individual have been developed.

There are types of self-assessment:

• Normal self-esteem, that is, adequate
• Low self-esteem
• Overpriced, i.e. inadequate

These types of self-assessment are the most important and defining. After all, it depends on the level of self-esteem how much a person will sensibly evaluate his own strengths, qualities, deeds, deeds.

The level of self-esteem consists in giving excessive importance to oneself, one's own merits and defects, or vice versa - insignificance. Many mistakenly believe that an inflated kind of self-esteem is a good thing. However, this opinion is not entirely correct. Deviations of self-esteem in one direction or another rarely contribute to the fruitful development of the individual.

A low type of self-esteem can only block decisiveness, confidence, and an overestimated one assures the individual that he is always right and does everything right.

Heightened self-esteem

Individuals with an overestimated degree of self-esteem tend to overestimate their own real potential. Often such individuals think that the people around them unreasonably underestimate them, as a result of which they treat the people around them completely unfriendly, often arrogant and arrogant, and sometimes quite aggressive. Subjects with an overestimated degree of self-esteem are constantly trying to prove to others that they are the best, and others are worse than them. They are confident that they are superior to other individuals in everything, and demand recognition of their own superiority. As a result, others tend to avoid communication with them.

Low self-esteem

An individual with a low degree of self-esteem is characterized by excessive self-doubt, timidity, excessive shyness, fear of expressing one's own judgments, often experiencing an unfounded sense of guilt. Such people are quite easily suggestible, they always follow the opinions of other subjects, they are afraid of criticism, disapproval, condemnation, censure from surrounding colleagues, comrades and other subjects. Often they see themselves as failures, do not notice, as a result of which they cannot correctly assess their best qualities. Low self-esteem, as a rule, is formed in childhood, but can often be transformed from adequate due to regular comparison with other subjects.

Self-esteem is also divided into floating and stable. Its type depends on the mood of the individual or his success in a certain period of his life. Self-assessment can also be general, private and specific situational, in other words, indicate the scope of self-assessment. So, for example, individuals can evaluate themselves separately by physical parameters or intellectual data, in a certain area, such as business, personal life, etc.

The listed types of self-esteem of a person are considered fundamental in psychological science. They can be interpreted as a modification of the behavior of subjects from the area of ​​an absolutely impersonal beginning to an individually personal certainty.

Self-esteem and self-confidence

Evaluation of deeds, qualities, actions occurs from the earliest age period. It can be divided into two components: an assessment of one's own actions and qualities by others and a comparison of achieved personal goals with the results of others. In the process of realizing one's own actions, activities, goals, behavioral reactions, potential (intellectual and physical), analyzing the attitude of others around oneself and personal attitude towards them, the individual learns to evaluate his own positive qualities and negative traits, in other words, learns adequate self-esteem. Such a "learning process" can drag on for many years. But you can increase self-esteem and feel confident in your own potential and strength after a fairly short time, if you set such a goal or there is a need to get rid of uncertainty.

Confidence in personal potential and adequate self-esteem are precisely those two main components of success. It is possible to single out the characteristic features of subjects who feel confident in their own capabilities.

Such individuals:

• always express their own desires and requests in the first person;
• they are easy to understand;
• they positively evaluate their own personal potential, define difficult goals for themselves and achieve their implementation;
• recognize their own achievements;
• they take the expression of their own thoughts, desires seriously as well as other people's words, desires, they are looking for joint ways to meet common needs;
• consider the goals achieved as success. In cases where it is not possible to achieve the desired, they set more realistic goals for themselves, learn a lesson from the work done. It is this attitude to success and failure that opens up new opportunities, gives strength for subsequent actions in order to set new goals;
• all actions are implemented as needed, and not postponed.

Adequate self-esteem makes an individual a self-confident person. The coincidence of ideas about one's own potential and one's real capabilities is called adequate self-esteem. The formation of an adequate degree of self-esteem will not be impossible without the performance of actions and the subsequent analysis of the fruits of such actions. A subject who has an adequate degree of self-esteem feels like a good person, as a result of which he begins to believe in his own success. He defines many goals for himself, and chooses adequate means to achieve them. Faith in success helps not to focus on transient failures and mistakes.

Diagnostics of self-esteem

Today, the problems of diagnosing self-esteem are playing an increasingly important role, helping the individual to act as a real subject of his own personal behavior and activity, regardless of the impact of society, to determine the prospects for his further development, directions and tools for their implementation. A key place among the reasons for the formation of self-regulation mechanisms belongs to self-esteem, which determines the direction and degree of activity of individuals, the formation of their value orientations, personal goals and the boundaries of its achievements.

Recently, modern scientific society has increasingly brought issues that are related to the study of personal orientation, its self-esteem, the problem of self-esteem, personality constancy, to the fore. Since such phenomena for scientific knowledge are complex and ambiguous, the success of studying which, for the most part, depends on the level of perfection of the research methods used. The interest of subjects in the study of characteristic personality traits, such as temperament, self-esteem, intelligence, etc. - entailed the development of many methods for conducting personality research.

Methods for diagnosing self-esteem today can be considered in all their diversity, since many different techniques and methods have been developed to analyze a person's self-esteem based on different indicators. Therefore, psychology has in its arsenal a number of experimental methods for detecting an individual's self-esteem, its quantitative assessment and qualitative characteristics.

Personal traits of self-esteem

For example, using the value of the rank ratio, one can compare the subject's idea of ​​what personality traits he would like to have in the first place (I am ideal), and what qualities he actually has (I am current). An essential factor in this method is that the individual, in the process of passing the study, makes the necessary calculations independently in accordance with the available formula, and does not inform the researcher of information about his own current and ideal "I". The coefficients obtained as a result of the study of self-esteem, allow you to see self-esteem in its quantitative terms.

Popular methods for diagnosing self-esteem

Dembo-Rubinstein technique

Named after the names of the authors, it helps to determine the three key dimensions of self-esteem: height, realism and sustainability. In the course of the study, absolutely all the comments of the participant in the process, made in relation to the scales, poles and its location on the scales, should be taken into account. Psychologists are convinced that a careful analysis of the conversation contributes to more accurate and complete conclusions about the individual's self-esteem than the usual analysis of the location of marks on the scales.

Methodology for analyzing personal self-esteem according to Budassi

It makes it possible to conduct a quantitative analysis of self-esteem, as well as to identify its degree and adequacy, to find the ratio of your ideal "I" and those qualities that exist in reality. The stimulus material is represented by a set of 48 personality traits, such as daydreaming, thoughtfulness, swagger, etc. The ranking principle forms the basis of this technique. Its purpose is to determine the relationships among the ranking assessments of personal properties included in the idea of ​​a real and ideal self, in the course of processing the results. The degree of connection is determined using the magnitude of the rank correlation.

The Budassi method of research is based on the self-assessment of the individual, which can be done in two ways. The first is to compare one's own ideas with real-life, objective performance indicators. The second is a comparison of one's own person with other people.

Cattell test

It is practically the most common questionnaire method for assessing individual psychological personality traits. The questionnaire is aimed at detecting relatively independent sixteen personality factors. Each of these factors generates several surface properties that are connected around one key feature. The MD (self-esteem) factor is an additional factor. The average numbers of this factor will mean the presence of adequate self-esteem, its certain maturity.

Methodology V. Shchur

Under the name "Ladder", it helps to identify the system of children's ideas about how they evaluate their own qualities, how others evaluate them, and how such judgments relate to each other. This technique has two methods of application: group and individual. The group option allows you to quickly identify the degree of self-esteem in several children at the same time. The individual style of conducting makes it possible to detect the cause that influences the formation of inadequate self-esteem. The stimulus material in this technique is the so-called ladder, consisting of 7 steps. The child must determine his own place on this ladder, and the “good children” are on the first step, and the “worst children” are on the 7th, respectively. To carry out this technique, great emphasis is placed on creating a friendly atmosphere, an atmosphere of trust, goodwill, and openness.

You can also explore self-esteem in children using the following techniques, such as the method developed by A. Zakharova to determine the level of emotional self-esteem and the self-esteem method of D. Lampen called "Tree", modified by L. Ponomarenko. These methods are focused on determining the degree of self-esteem of babies.

T. Leary test

Designed to identify self-esteem by evaluating the behavior of individuals, loved ones, describing the ideal image of "I". Using this method, it becomes possible to identify the prevailing type of attitude towards others in self-esteem and mutual evaluation. The questionnaire contains 128 value judgments, which are represented by eight types of relationships, combined into 16 items, which are ordered by increasing intensity. The method is structured in such a way that judgments focused on the definition of some type of relationship are not arranged in a row, but are grouped into 4 types and they are repeated through an equal number of definitions.

G. Eysenck's self-assessment diagnostic technique

It is used to determine the self-assessment of such mental states as frustration, rigidity, anxiety, aggressiveness. The stimulus material is a list of mental states that are characteristic or not characteristic of the subject. In the process of interpreting the results, the level of severity of the states under study, characteristic of the subject, is determined.

Also, the methods of self-assessment analysis include:

A. Lipkina's technique called "Three Assessments", which diagnoses the level of self-esteem, its stability or instability, self-esteem argumentation;

A test called "Assess yourself", which allows you to determine the types of self-esteem of a person (underestimated, overestimated, etc.);

A technique called "I can do it or not", focused on identifying an evaluative position.

In a general sense, diagnostic methods are focused on determining the degree of self-esteem, its adequacy, on the study of general and particular self-esteem, on identifying the relationship between real and ideal images of the “I”.

Development of self-esteem

The formation and development of various aspects of self-esteem occurs in different age periods. In each individual period of an individual's life, society or physical development prescribes for him the development of the most significant factor of self-esteem at this very moment.

It follows that the formation of personal self-esteem goes through certain stages in the development of self-esteem. Specific self-evaluation factors should be formed in the most appropriate period for this. Therefore, early childhood is considered the most significant period for the development of self-esteem. After all, it is in childhood that a person acquires fundamental knowledge and judgments about his own person, the world, and people.

Development of self-esteem in education

A lot in the formation of an adequate level of self-esteem depends on the parents, their education, literacy of behavior in relation to the child, the degree of acceptance of the child by them. Since it is the family that is the first society for a small individual, and the process of studying the norms of behavior, the assimilation of morality adopted in this society is called socialization. The kid in the family compares his behavior, himself with significant adults, imitates them. For children, it is important in early childhood to obtain the approval of an adult. Self-esteem, given by parents, is assimilated by the child unquestioningly.

Development of children's self-esteem

In the preschool age period, parents try to instill elementary norms of behavior in children, such as correctness, politeness, cleanliness, sociability, modesty, etc. At this stage, it is impossible to do without patterns and stereotypes in behavior.

So, for example, the female part of the population is instilled from childhood that they should be soft, obedient and tidy, and the boys - that they should keep their emotions under control, because men do not cry. As a result of such a template suggestion, in the future, children are evaluated for the presence of the necessary qualities in their peers. Whether such assessments will be negative or positive depends on the reasonableness of the parents.

In the younger school age, priorities begin to change. At this stage, school performance, diligence, mastering the rules of school behavior and communication in the classroom come to the fore. Now another social institution called the school is added to the family.

Children in this period begin to compare themselves with their peers, they want to be like everyone else or even better, they are drawn to an idol and an ideal. This period is characterized by labeling children who have not yet learned to draw their own conclusions.

So, for example, a restless, active child who finds it rather difficult to behave calmly and is not able to sit on one will be called a bully, and a child who has difficulty learning the school curriculum is called an ignoramus or a lazy person. Since babies in this age period do not yet know how to be critical of other people's opinions, the opinion of a significant adult will be authoritative, as a result of which it will be taken for granted, and the baby will take it into account in the process of self-assessment.

Development of self-esteem in adolescence

By the transitional age period, the dominant position is given to natural development, the child becomes more independent, transforms mentally and changes physically, begins to fight for his own place in the peer hierarchy.

Now for him the main critics are peers. This stage is characterized by the formation of ideas about one's own appearance and success in society. At the same time, adolescents first learn to subject others to their own evaluation, and only through time themselves.

The result of this is the well-known cruelty of individuals of adolescence, which appears in the course of fierce competition in the hierarchy of peers, when adolescents can already condemn others, but still do not know how to adequately evaluate themselves.

Only by the age of 14 do individuals develop the ability to independently adequately evaluate others. At this age, children strive to know themselves, to achieve self-respect, to form self-esteem. Important at this stage is the feeling of belonging to a group of their own kind.

The individual always strives at least in his own eyes to be good. Hence, if a teenager is not accepted in the school environment of peers, is not understood in the family, then he will look for suitable friends in another environment, while often getting into the so-called "bad" company.

Development of adolescent self-esteem

The next stage in the development of self-esteem begins after graduation from school and admission to a higher educational institution or not. Now the individual is surrounded by a new environment. This stage is characterized by the maturation of yesterday's teenagers.

Therefore, in this period, the foundation will be important, consisting of assessments, patterns, stereotypes, which was created earlier under the influence of parents, peers, significant adults and other environment of the child. By this stage, one of the core attitudes has usually been developed, which is a perception of one's own personality with a plus or minus sign. In other words, an individual enters this stage with a formed good or negative attitude towards his own person.

The role of self-esteem

The role of self-esteem in personality development is practically a fundamental factor for further successful life realization. Indeed, so often in life you can meet truly talented people, but who have not achieved success due to lack of confidence in their own potential, talent and strength. Therefore, it is necessary to pay special attention to the development of an adequate level of self-esteem.

Self-assessment can be adequate and inadequate. The correspondence of the individual's opinion about his own potential to his real abilities is considered the main criterion for evaluating this parameter.

When the goals and plans of the individual are unrealizable, it is said about inadequate self-esteem, as well as with an excessively underestimation of one's potential. It follows that the adequacy of self-esteem is confirmed only in practice, when an individual is able to cope with the tasks set for himself, or the judgments of authoritative specialists in a suitable field of knowledge.

Adequate self-esteem of a person is a realistic assessment by an individual of his own personality, qualities, potential, abilities, actions, etc. An adequate level of self-esteem helps the subject to treat his own person from a critical point of view, correctly correlate his own strengths with goals of varying degrees of severity and with the requests of others. There are a number of factors that influence the development of an adequate level of self-esteem: one's own thoughts and the structure of perception, the reaction of others, the experience of communicative interaction at school, among peers and the family, various diseases, physical defects, injuries, the cultural level of the family, the environment and the individual himself, religion, social roles, professional fulfillment and status.

Adequate self-esteem gives the individual a sense of inner harmony and stability. He feels confident, as a result of which he is usually able to build positive relationships with others.

Adequate self-esteem contributes to the manifestation of the individual's own merits and at the same time to hide or compensate for existing defects. In general, adequate self-esteem leads to success in the professional sphere, society and interpersonal relationships, openness to feedback, which leads to the acquisition of positive life skills and experience.

A high self-evaluation

Usually, among the inhabitants it is generally accepted that the presence of a high level of self-esteem a priori leads to a happy life and fulfillment in the professional field. However, this judgment, unfortunately, is far from the truth. Adequate self-esteem of a person is not synonymous with a high level of self-esteem. Psychologists say that high self-esteem harms the personality no less than low self-esteem. An individual with high self-esteem is simply not able to accept and reckon with other people's opinions, views, attitudes towards the value system of others. High self-esteem can acquire negative forms of manifestation, expressed in anger and verbal defense.

Subjects with unstable high self-esteem tend to take a defensive position due to the far-fetched exaggeration of the threat, which can strike at their self-esteem, level of confidence and hurt self-esteem.

Therefore, such individuals are constantly in a tense and alert state. This reinforced defensive position indicates an inadequate perception of surrounding individuals and the environment, mental disharmony, and a low degree of self-confidence. Individuals with stable self-esteem, on the other hand, tend to perceive themselves with all defects and flaws.

They feel, as a rule, safe, as a result of which they are not inclined to blame others, using verbal defense mechanisms, to make excuses because of past mistakes and failures. There are two signs of dangerously high self-esteem: unreasonably high judgments of oneself and an increased level of narcissism.

In general, if an individual has a consistently high level of self-esteem, this is not so bad. Often parents, without being aware of this themselves, contribute to the formation of an overestimated level of self-esteem in the child. At the same time, they do not understand that if the child’s developed inflated self-esteem is not supported by real abilities, this will lead to a decrease in the child’s self-confidence and an inadequate level of self-esteem towards a decrease.

Raising self-esteem

This is how human nature is arranged, that each individual, against his will, compares his own personality with others. At the same time, the criteria for such a comparison can be very different, ranging from income level to mental balance.

Adequate self-esteem of a person can arise in individuals who are able to treat themselves rationally. They are aware that it is simply impossible to always be better than others, and therefore do not strive for this, as a result of which they are protected from disappointment due to collapsed hopes.

Individuals with a normal level of self-esteem communicate with others on an equal footing, without unnecessary flattery or arrogance. However, there are few such people. According to research, more than 80% of contemporaries have low self-esteem.

Such individuals are sure that in everything they are worse than others. Individuals with low self-esteem are characterized by constant self-criticism, excessive emotional stress, a constantly present feeling of guilt and the desire to please everyone, constant complaints about their own lives, sad facial expressions and stooped posture.

Raising self-esteem is considered to be a fairly effective method of success in interpersonal relationships in the professional and social spheres. After all, a self-satisfied and enjoying life subject is much more attractive than an ever-complaining whiner, actively trying to please and assent. However, you need to understand that increasing self-esteem does not happen overnight. Here are some tips to help you improve your self-esteem.

Watch the video: Veronika Stepanova: How to increase self-esteem?!

Comparison with other persons

You need to remember one most important rule, never and under no circumstances should you compare yourself with other people. After all, there will always be subjects in the environment that in some aspects will be worse or better than others. It should be borne in mind that each person is individual and possesses only her inherent set of qualities and characteristics.

Constant comparison can only drive the individual into a blind corner, which will invariably lead to a loss of confidence. One should find in oneself the virtues, positive traits, inclinations and use them adequately to the situation.

To raise self-esteem, it is important to be able to set goals, objectives and implement them. Therefore, you should write a list of goals and qualities with a plus sign that contribute to the achievement of such goals. At the same time, it is necessary to write a list of qualities that impede the achievement of goals. This will make it clear to the individual that all failures are the result of his actions, deeds, and the personality itself does not affect this.

The next step in building self-esteem is to stop looking for faults in yourself. After all, mistakes are not a tragedy, but only the acquisition of learning experience from your mistakes.

Compliments from others should be taken with gratitude. Therefore, you need to answer "thank you" instead of "no need." Such a response contributes to the perception by the psychology of the individual of a positive assessment of his own personality, and in the future it becomes its invariable attribute.

The next tip is to change the environment. After all, it has a key impact on the level of self-esteem. People with a positive personality are able to constructively and adequately assess the behavior, abilities of others, which can help increase confidence. Such people should prevail in the environment. Therefore, you need to constantly try to expand the circle of communicative interaction, getting to know new people.

Individuals with an adequate level of self-esteem live, guided by their own desires, dreams and goals. It is impossible to have normal self-esteem if you constantly do what others expect.

Self-esteem is the significance that a person gives to his personality as a whole or any of its aspects. It is based on the opinions of others and the results of their own activities.

Why do you need to evaluate yourself?

It helps develop personality. The self-assessment functions are as follows:

1. Regulatory. Helps in decision making.
2. Protective. Provides stability and independence of personal boundaries.
3. Developing. Stimulates a person to expand their horizons, gain new knowledge and skills.
4. Signal. Helps to evaluate the adequacy of their actions.
5. Emotional. Allows a person to be satisfied with himself.
6. Adaptive. Helps you find your place in the world.
7. Prognostic. Responsible for activity when a person starts a new activity.
8. Corrective. Allows you to exercise self-control in the process of performing any work.
9. Retrospective. Helps to adequately evaluate the activities at the final stage.
10. Motivating. Encourages to action in order to be pleased with oneself, to feel pride.
11. Terminal. It makes it possible to stop the activity if dissatisfaction with oneself has arisen in the process.

The definition of self-esteem implies that it is the basis for a person's worldview. It reflects the degree of satisfaction with their actions. Therefore, overestimated or underestimated self-esteem prevents an adequate perception of what is happening.

Myths about self-esteem

Everyone is familiar with this concept, but not everyone knows exactly how a person should perceive himself for a comfortable life. As a result, the following stereotypes have arisen:

1. The formation of self-esteem occurs only on the basis of the opinion of other people about a person. This is only true for children. With age, the main, though not the only, criterion of one's own success becomes personal experience.
2. A person with normal self-esteem can always correctly perceive others. Inadequate self-image leads to the same attitude towards others. Unfortunately, the rule does not always work in the opposite direction.
3. The higher the self-esteem, the better. This is true only if the person is really very successful, ie. he perceives himself adequately. Otherwise, it will hinder its development and complicate communication with other people.
4. Male self-esteem depends on the number of partners in an intimate life. In fact, this state of affairs is only a consequence of inadequate self-perception. After all, the number of partners does not always indicate any attractive personality traits. On the contrary, it is often success in intimate life that both men and women try to compensate for self-doubt.
5. Self-esteem must be stable. It interferes with personal development. Normal self-perception should be flexible and be adjusted due to changes in assessment criteria or due to other significant factors.
6. Women's self-esteem should not be high, because the girl is beautiful with modesty. This is another fairly common stereotype. Modesty is a character trait that can be present in both high and low self-esteem.
7. The self-image formed in childhood cannot be changed. Representations laid down at a young age are very difficult to correct. However, it is possible. Moreover, the formation of adequate self-esteem usually occurs precisely in adulthood. However, it is based on personal experience.
8. High and low self-esteem are equally bad. In fact, a self-confident person has more internal resources to achieve what he wants. This does not mean that one should not strive for an adequate perception of oneself. After all, the role of self-esteem in a person's life is the ability to choose an occupation according to their strengths and abilities, as well as to control personal growth.

Types and levels

Types of self-esteem in psychology are characterized by many parameters:

• depending on the level: high, medium, low;
• by realism: overestimated, underestimated and adequate;
• by structural features: constructive and destructive;
• depending on the level of stability: stable and fluctuating.

In psychology, self-esteem is most often divided into 3 following categories:

• understated;
• medium (normal, adequate);
• overpriced.

The optimal self-esteem of a person is quite high, which changes under the influence of acquired experience. Both an overly stable self-perception and a constantly fluctuating one have a negative impact on a person.

A person is prone to stable self-esteem. In this regard, psychological phenomena arise, such as the discomfort of success or the affect of inadequacy (ie, denial of achievement or ignoring the fact of defeat).

Self-esteem is normal when it contributes to an adequate perception of one's own actions. Such a person does not deny his positive qualities and works on negative ones. He achieves his goals, lives in harmony with himself and is satisfied with life.

A person with high self-esteem tends to make unreasonable claims to others. He is unable to build constructive relationships with others. But more often there are people with low self-esteem. Such a perception of oneself does not allow one to develop potential, express individuality and achieve any success. The slightest difficulties become a reason to abandon the plans. A person is overcome by feelings of guilt, disappointment, which only exacerbates the situation.

Low self-esteem can have high and low levels of aspirations. In the first case, a person tends to feel his own inferiority and constant anxiety. In the second - to exaggerate their shortcomings.

Overestimated and underestimated types of self-esteem are closely related. Both can arise from the fact that in childhood the child was constantly admired and overpraised. Inflated self-esteem can remain for life. But sometimes, faced with difficulties in adolescence or adulthood, such a person risks losing faith in his strength.

Where does self-doubt come from?

The formation of self-esteem occurs at different periods of life. In each individual period of time, the most significant factor at the moment develops. Childhood is considered the most important period when self-esteem develops. After all, it is at an early age that a person acquires fundamental ideas about himself, the world and those around him. Much during this period depends on the parents: their degree of acceptance of the child and awareness of what self-esteem is and how it affects the life of the baby. The most important thing at this age is the approval of the elders. The child unquestioningly assimilates the self-esteem set by his parents.

The roots of self-perception are in deep childhood. Parents often call their child clumsy, bungler and other impartial words. Since the formation of self-esteem is just beginning in childhood, the child does not question the words of adults. Mother and father at this stage are indisputable authorities for him. No matter how good their intentions may be, the child will learn for many years, if not for life, that he is bad and does not meet the expectations of his loved ones. Over time, this will lead to the development of low self-esteem and a guilt complex.

To prevent such a scenario, parents should not scold the child if something does not work out for him, especially if the baby is doing this for the first time.

To raise a person who adequately perceives himself, parents need not only to understand how a child’s self-esteem is formed, but also to work on their own. Do not forget that children subconsciously copy the behavior of adults. Thus, they risk getting low or high self-esteem “inheritance”.

In adulthood, the foundations of stable self-esteem can be disrupted by a major emotional upheaval, such as the loss of a loved one, being fired, or any major setback. The restoration of self-confidence should begin immediately. You can cope with this on your own if the events that have occurred have not led to depression. In a different situation, it is better to contact a specialist. The impact of self-esteem on human behavior is difficult to overestimate. It is this factor that sets the life vector.

Research and tests

Confidence in personal potential and adequate self-esteem are the main components of success. People who possess these qualities have the following common features:

• the ability to express their desires and needs;
• recognition of one's own achievements;
• the ability to compromise;
• the ability to learn from failures;
• such people do not postpone things for later, but carry them out as needed.

Modern science is increasingly raising questions related to the characteristics of self-esteem, the problem of personality constancy and self-esteem. Since these concepts are ambiguous, the success of their study depends on the perfection of the tests used and research methods.

For example, using the value of the rank ratio, you can compare the desired traits of the subject with the real ones. A significant advantage of the method is that the self-assessment formula is calculated by the subject on his own, while he does not provide the researcher with information about ideas about himself.

Very often, self-assessment of mental states is measured using the Cattell test. The questionnaire is aimed at detecting 16 personality factors. Each of them forms several properties connected by some key feature. The structure of self-assessment is normal if the indicator of the MD factor has an average value. There are 4 test options: 2 for 187 questions and 2 for 105.

Self-assessment of emotional states in adults is determined by the method of A. Wesmann. The test consists of 4 blocks of 10 questions. With it, you can set the level of anxiety, energy, depression and self-confidence.

The technique of V. Shchur helps to identify the features of the development of self-esteem in children. It has 2 ways of conducting: group and individual. In the first case, it seems possible to determine at what level the development of self-esteem is in several children at the same time. In the second - to identify the causes of the child's lack of confidence in their abilities. Parents can conduct this test on their own using the following instructions:

1. Draw 7 steps on a piece of paper.
2. Explain to the child that the higher people are on the stairs, the better, smarter and more beautiful they are, the lower, the worse.
3. Ask at what level he is, at which he would like to be, and at which his parents would put him.
4. During the task, it is necessary to monitor how confidently the child makes his choice and how he argues. If the baby does not explain why he preferred this or that step, you need to ask him a leading question.

If a child puts himself on the 2nd or 3rd step and argues the choice with real achievements, and not with the words of his parents, then he has adequate self-esteem. In any other case, parents have something to think about.

The method of A. V. Zakharov is similar to the previous one. The difference is that instead of a ladder, the child is offered a horizontal row of 8 circles.

The analysis technique according to Budassi makes it possible to determine the characteristics of a particular individual's self-esteem (degree and adequacy). It is based on two principles:

• comparison of a person's ideas about himself with objective indicators of his activity;
• comparing yourself to others.

Study by Dembo-Rubinstein

This self-assessment method is suitable for testing children and adolescents, as well as adults. The subject is shown 4 scales: physical condition, mind, character and happiness, where 1 is the maximum value (completely healthy), 9 is the minimum value (sick). A person must evaluate his level for each of these parameters.

1. What is missing for complete happiness?
2. What needs to be changed to be at the first place of the scale?
3. What kind of people are absolutely happy and why?
4. Who is the most miserable and why?

If the assessment of the subject on this scale was low (7-9) or high (1-2), then it is necessary to clarify who caused this situation? Then we move on to discussing other indicators.

This method of determining self-esteem allows you to establish the area in which a person feels most uncomfortable. People who adequately perceive themselves usually note 4-5 steps.

There are modified methods of personality self-assessment according to Dembo-Rubinshtein. For example, A.M. Parishioners suggests, in addition to the main scales, to use 4 additional ones:

• authority among others;
• the ability to create something with your own hands;
• appearance;
• self confidence.

Ways to boost self-esteem

There are 2 ways to raise your self-esteem:

• to achieve achievements in any sphere of life;
• create a bodily corset of success.

In the first case, you need to show diligence and patience, since the result will be tangible after several victories over yourself. In the second method, the formation of self-esteem occurs at a subconscious level. A proud posture, unhurried movements and a confident gait can change a person's worldview in a fairly short time. It is important to constantly monitor the position of your body and voice. For a long-term result, you need to use both methods.

There is a category of people who suffer from self-doubt more often than others. Any attempts to help them, to support them turn into a failure. This is due to the desire to be in a state of sacrifice. This role gives you the opportunity to shift responsibility for your life to others. But the fact is that this is just an illusion coming from childhood. It is enough for a child to show his mother that something does not work out for him, that he is weak and helpless, in order to receive empathy and love. But an adult is always responsible for himself.

To stop playing the role of a victim and thereby raise the level of self-esteem, you need to adhere to the following rules:

1. Shift to the positive.
2. Speak well of others and give them compliments.
3. Watch your speech. Avoid negative words addressed to you, even as a joke. You also need to delete phrases with negative predictions from the lexicon, for example, “nothing will work out.”
4. Try to pay attention to the moments when you have to make a choice. This will help you realize the full responsibility for your life.

Within a month, the level of self-esteem will increase markedly, a person will no longer try on the role of a victim. However, no one is immune from situational failures. Everyone once gives up, runs out of energy to maintain self-confidence. What to do in this case? Sometimes just one small victory is enough to normalize the situation, after which faith in one's strength and taste for life returns. In a more difficult situation, you will need a bigger achievement. It is also very important to surround yourself with people who, in difficult times, will find the right words to support you.

Confidence Exercises

The concept of self-esteem in psychology is subjective. Often the way others see a person and he himself is very different. The key to successful work on self-confidence is the right attitude. Don't get hung up on preparing to gain confidence. If you feel that your vision of yourself is not adequate, you should try to immediately correct the situation.

There are several rules, following which, you can gain self-confidence, and therefore increase self-esteem. Here they are:

1. It is not necessary to influence the most vulnerable sides of the personality. This will only make the depression worse. Instead, it's better to focus on improving your existing skills. Feeling your own mastery will bring positive emotions (pride, joy), which will become a resource for achievements in other areas.
2. The role of family members cannot be underestimated. Talking to them often helps you see your abilities differently. You should not ask your loved ones about your weaknesses, it is better to find out what traits they consider strong. It is best to write down the answers so that they can serve as additional support at the right time. Thus, you can often find out about your positive qualities, the presence of which you had not previously thought about.
3. Evaluate your own actions objectively, but at the same time do not scold yourself for mistakes. It is impossible to deny the obvious, focusing only on the positive aspects of what is happening. It is important to change the habitual pattern of thinking. Having insufficient ability or knowledge for something is no reason to engage in self-deprecation. So a person runs the risk of forever remaining at the same level. You have to allow yourself to be imperfect. This will help redirect energy from self-flagellation to personal growth.
4. Periodically, you need to write down in a notebook those circumstances of everyday life that provoke a feeling of weakness, helplessness and insecurity. Next, you need to find the reason why this is happening. Next, you need to make a list of those moments that bring satisfaction and happiness. Having decided on the cause of positive emotions, you should re-read both entries and form a holistic picture of your strengths and weaknesses. This exercise helps to move from a global disbelief in oneself to the realization that there are separate problems that need to be addressed.
5. Goals must be realistic. Perfectionism is not for ambitious people. This is a factor that hinders the path to achieving the goal. Perfectionist people deprive themselves of the right to make mistakes, which leads them to suffer from the slightest failure. Often, it is the failure to complete what has been started ideally that leads to the abandonment of what was conceived. In addition, perfectionism contributes to the fact that any failure negatively affects self-esteem, and therefore self-confidence.
6. Draw clear boundaries between specific, temporary and unattainable goals. Don't forget that a long journey starts with a small step. Therefore, do not neglect insignificant goals. After all, it is they who, as a result, will help to complete tasks that previously seemed impossible.

By doubting or overestimating oneself, a person wastes time and resources for developing personal potential. Any kind of self-esteem, except for adequate, oppresses both morally and physically: there is increased fatigue, a feeling of helplessness or a feeling of hostility of the world. As a result, even ordinary things seem impossible. Normalizing self-esteem is not a matter of willpower. To correct the situation, you need to reconsider your attitudes and guidelines.