When I was a little younger, I had grandiose goals and aspirations, and a strong desire to achieve them every day of my life. In those days, my greatest desire was to live each day with dignity and peace of mind - to be calm and peacefully move from one task to another with concentration and calm, restrained energy.

Everything seems to be simple? Probably no. But there are steps we can take to at least stay calm more often. Why be calm? Damn it, because it's a fantastic feeling! Anger and impatience wear down our hearts, our souls, and our families. When we control our emotions, we get more done, communicate better, and live more productive and purposeful lives.

1. Try not to be dramatic

It is very easy to dramatize and make an elephant out of a fly. In any stressful situation, when the problem concerns you, resist the urge to exaggerate the negative. Avoid the words "always" and "when". You may feel like Stuart Smalley, but telling yourself "I can handle it", "It's okay" and "I'm stronger than this" can really help you look at the problem in a different way.

2. Think before sharing a problem

Don't talk, blog, or tweet about your problem. Don't discuss it with your friends right away; digest it yourself first, this will give you time to calm down a bit. Sometimes, well-meaning friends are too sympathetic to you. By doing this, they only add fuel to the fire, and you are even more upset.

3. Discover metaphors and visualization as a way to stay calm

Here's what helps me: I try to represent the problem as a node. The more I panic and pull on the ends, the tighter the knot tightens. But when I concentrate fully, I calm down and can loosen one thread at a time.

It also helps if you visualize yourself acting with restraint and focus. Stop screaming and move as slowly as possible. Speak slowly and quietly. Become that calm and unflappable person that you see in your imagination.

Here's another technique: Do you know any person who can be called unflappable? Think about what this person would do in your place.

4. Identify the factors that drive you crazy

Are there certain situations that make you lose control? Identify specific factors, from the time of day, to how busy (or bored) you are, to your blood sugar levels. Do you lose your temper when it's too noisy - or too quiet? Knowing your personal irritants will help you stay calm throughout the day.

5. Realize that you can control your emotions.

Recall times when you were able to successfully remain calm in a difficult situation. Perhaps it was when you wanted to yell at your spouse or children, but then the doorbell rang, and you were able to instantly reorganize. Remember that you can repeat this knowing what irritates you and what can help you maintain peace of mind.

6. Create a tranquil environment with relaxation rituals

If calm music comforts you, use it. If silence calms you, use it. Maybe you put on soothing instrumental music, dim the lights, and light scented candles.

When you come home from work, take a few minutes to calm your mind before diving into family matters. Sit in the car for a couple of minutes and take a few deep breaths. Kick off your shoes and drink a few sips of water. Such rituals are extremely calming during the transition from one activity to another.

7. Take care of your basic needs

Make sure that you get enough sleep and get enough protein, fiber, vitamins and minerals. Most often, I get irritated when my blood sugar is low. However, it is enough to eat something nutritious, and I feel (relatively) lighter.

Also try do physical education. Daily Workouts help relieve physical tension, which in turn helps you control your feelings. If I feel the need, then instead of a half-hour run, I do kickboxing. It helps.

Avoid excessive consumption of sugar and caffeine, and do not dehydrate the body. Drink a large glass of water and see if you feel better, more calm and alert.

8. Pay Attention to the Soul and Spirit

Depending on your religious preferences, take up meditation or pray. Practice yoga - or just sit quietly for a while. The ability to find peace of mind will serve you well more than once. Take a meditation class and learn techniques to help control your busy mind.

9. Get distracted

Instead of thinking about the same things, do something interesting, exciting, or creative. Try to laugh(or laugh at yourself). Watch a comedy or read a blog that always makes you laugh. When you are animated, it is much easier to remain calm.

10. Take a day off

If I resist like crazy not to take a day off, I know for sure - I need it. If I can get over myself and spend a whole day away from work, I always return there calmer, more confident and filled with fresh ideas.

11. Remember to breathe

When my children were very young, we helped them calm down by teaching them to breathe with their belly. It still works - for them and for me. Diaphragm breathing helps relieve tension immediately, and it gives you a couple of minutes to calm down. This is often enough time to assess the situation and regain a sense of control.

During proper belly breathing, your belly will literally rise and fall. To practice, put your hand on your stomach. Inhale through your nose and see if your hand goes up as you inhale. Hold your breath for a few counts and exhale slowly.

12. Reflect on quotes that can help calm your mind.

“You are heaven. Everything else is just the weather.” Pema Chodron

"A calm, focused mind, not directed to harm others, is stronger than any physical force in the universe" Wayne Dyer (Wayne Dyer).

“It is useless to rush life. If I'm living on the run, then I'm living wrong. My habit of haste will not lead to anything good. The art of living is to learn how to make time for everything. If I sacrifice my life for haste, it will become impossible. Ultimately, procrastination means taking the time to think. It means taking time to think. Slowly you will be in time everywhere " Carlos Petrini (Carlos Petrini) - the founder of the movement "slow food".

“The only important reason to stay calm is that calm parents hear more. Restrained, receptive parents are those whose children keep talking.” Mary Pipher

“Keep calm, serenity, always control yourself. Then you will understand how easy it is to be in harmony with yourself.” Paramahansa Yogananda

Why is it that one person in any situation is able to remain calm and confident, while another in the same circumstances is subject to the full range of manifestations of anxiety and anxiety? This can be seen all the time - it even happens that brothers and sisters growing up in the same conditions show completely different reactions.

In many ways, our reaction to circumstances is determined not only by experience, but also by innate data. However, regardless of the initial genetic data, experience and other factors, each of us sometimes needs to be able to remain calm in any conditions. How can this be done if nature, instead of an impenetrable character, on the contrary, endowed it with increased sensitivity to the events of the surrounding world?

First, you need to be able to live your emotions and accept them.

It is not necessary, especially in a critical situation, to try to abstract from fear or anxiety. By suppressing our reactions, we can only increase them. Of course, in order to have the proper degree of effective self-control, one cannot do without preliminary preparation. Regular practice of meditation can be a good help in this matter. But it may happen that you do not feel sufficiently prepared to, like detached yogis, calmly observe everything that happens from the side.

In this case, it is better not to suppress your feelings, but to accept them. Try using a method from the field of emotional-image therapy. Briefly, this method is as follows. It is necessary to imagine your experience, endowing it with some physical appearance. It can be any image - a gray spot, a red button. For some, fear personified even takes the form of a melted rubber tire. Then you need to ask this image a question: what does it need? Maybe he wants you to send him some warmth or positive energy.

Imagine gentle rays of acceptance and kindness moving towards your fear. This will help not to fight the emotion, but to accept it as part of yourself.

• At the next stage, when the feelings of anxiety and anxiety have already lost their sharpness a little, you can try the method of distraction. Since staying calm in any situation can be required at any moment, you need to determine in advance which method of distraction will suit you best. First, it's always good to use your imagination. To do this, you need to imagine yourself in a good, pleasant place, far from the current worries and worries. It can be memories of a vacation or a visit to relatives. Most importantly, the pictures in your imagination should be detailed and bright, with the maximum amount of detail - smells, sounds, interior details or landscapes.
• Good music can serve as another way to get distracted. Some of those who suffer from high anxiety often keep a list of their favorite uplifting tunes ready with them. They help to gather in time and give strength of mind - as well as temporarily disconnect from a stressful situation.
• Another good way is to count. You can count buses that have arrived at a stop under the window, or cars of a certain color; or, for example, add or multiply two-digit numbers in your mind. Thus, you will switch the focus of excitation of the cerebral cortex to the area that is responsible for logical perception, thereby reducing anxiety.

Take a break from the situation.

When you are under pressure, you must immediately pause and take a step to the side. After all, it is in the most tense moments that we most need space for maneuver and time in order to consider further actions. After detaching from the situation physically and emotionally, try to clarify for yourself why these circumstances are stressing you. Ask yourself the following questions:

• Why did I suddenly feel restless?
• Was there any trigger that had provoked me earlier to these feelings?
• Is my current view of the situation adequate? Am I interpreting events correctly?

Sometimes the things that evoke our emotions are nothing more than phantoms. You can feel pressure, but it will come more likely not from the outside world, but from within. This is an illusion.

Always be careful.

During a stressful situation, it is very important to maintain attention to detail. It is in them that most often the answers to many questions are hidden, as well as the possibility of solving problems. Attention to detail also helps to control yourself. Look at your behavior, the behavior of other people, the events of the outside world that are happening around you. In a state of anxiety, all events are mixed into one big lump, consisting of questions and unresolved tasks. By paying attention to the little things, you will be able to gradually divide reality into small parts again, which will also help fight anxiety.

Use uplifting statements.

It is critically important in a stressful environment to try to maintain a positive outlook, since it is impossible to be calm in any situation if the mind is filled with negative thoughts and attitudes. To do this, you need to properly build your internal dialogue. The way you address yourself in tense circumstances can both calm you down and further fuel fear and panic.

4 819 0 Hello! In this article, we will talk about how to stay calm in different situations. Without stress, life is impossible. They harden us, warn us of danger, activate or hinder our actions, deplete our strength and negatively affect our health. And everywhere we hear: "Don't be nervous", "Calm down" or "Keep your composure!" Nobody doubts that this should be done. That's just how? When emotions take over the mind and prevent you from being productive and enjoying life ... The task is difficult, but doable. On the question of how to remain calm in any situation, the methods and techniques given in the article will help.

Why It's Important Not to Be Nervous

Control over emotions and their cruel suppression- it's not the same thing.

• Suppress (or push out) emotions after they have taken possession of the body and mind of a person. They are not splashed out, but stopped, hidden deep inside themselves from the external environment. And this is not the best scenario, because the negative energy does not go away, but continues to poison the body, causing various health problems.
• And here control over emotions associated with the initial desire not to fall under the power of stress, to be able to resist it. The impact of negative emotions is like a snowball. One has only to get upset for any reason, as instantly this state paralyzes actions and begins to affect all areas of life.

You have probably noticed more than once that if you are in a hurry somewhere or worried before an important event, then no other thoughts come to mind, literally “everything falls out of your hands”, you cannot find the things you need, everything is annoying ... And this negativity quickly accumulates and unsettles. It is extremely difficult to act effectively in this situation. Moreover, a strong adrenaline rush does not have the best effect on health. Here is the result.

Therefore, emotions can and should be controlled. Each of us is capable of doing this. First you have to make an effort, then it will become a habit.

How to stay calm in stressful situations: express methods

1. If you are busy with something and start to feel stressed, pause and take a break from this activity for a while (or stop it altogether). It is necessary to restore the psychological balance, otherwise the tension may increase and with prolonged exposure to stress, the onset of a nervous breakdown becomes likely.
2. Do not rush to immediately share your experiences with friends and colleagues. First, try to understand the situation yourself, analyze the causes of stress.
3. Voice for yourself all the manifestations of nervousness at the level of the body, for example: “I feel that I am blushing”, “My fingers are trembling”, “My heart is about to jump out of my chest”, etc. This is necessary in order to be able to take myself hands and realize how much you are tense.
4. Concentrate on your breath. In a situation of stress, the production of the hormone adrenaline increases, which also affects breathing. Its rhythm is broken, it becomes intermittent. To re-adjust it, use breathing techniques. The simplest is three deep breaths and exhalations. Such exercises can be performed both directly in a stressful situation, and in a more relaxed environment for relaxation. It is most effective to practice belly breathing.
5. Come to the window, consider the opening landscape. Pay attention to the smallest details. Rejoice in something you haven't seen before. Well, if you get the opportunity to take a walk in the fresh air. Enriching the brain with oxygen helps to calm and relieve stress.
6. Control over emotions involves, first of all, the ability to recognize and accept them. If you feel unnecessarily tense or nervous, focus on your experiences and voice your feelings. The wording should reflect both acknowledgment and separation from negative emotions: "I am irritated" or "I am anxious."
7. Do not wind yourself up, do not let a tense situation unfold to gigantic proportions. Stress needs to be brought under control while it is still in its infancy.
8. Use visualization techniques. For example, you can imagine how you pack your problem and the negativity associated with it in a box, send it to the sea, and they will never return to you. Or if the experience of stress is associated with some person, then you can present it in an absurd, funny way, then it will be emotionally easier to communicate with him. It also helps to visualize your equanimity (for example, imagine yourself as a deep, vast ocean or a high fortress that is not threatened by anything).
9. Think of some famous character (hero of a book, movie) or a real person who, in your opinion, is the embodiment of calmness and equanimity. How would he react to the situation that happened to you?

Self-confidence helps you stay calm

Work on your confidence and self-esteem. Confident people don't panic or get nervous over trifles. They know they can handle the situation, no matter how hard it gets. If you are satisfied with yourself and feel inner harmony, then there will be much more peace in your life.

• An integrated approach is important. First of all, you need to like your own appearance. Look in the mirror more often, compliment yourself, say encouraging phrases: “I look good”, “I like myself and others”, etc.
• Think more often about your talents and abilities, about what you are good at doing.. Do not forget about your achievements, usually they are remembered a lot. It is especially helpful to remember situations when you were able to successfully cope with difficulties and remain calm. It always adds confidence. Be sure to find time to do your favorite thing, which gives you real pleasure and gives you vigor.
• Nothing disarms stress quite like your positive attitude.. The more positively charged you are, the less susceptible you are to various stressful situations. You immediately demonstrate that you are stronger than them. You need to have in your arsenal a list of life-affirming phrases that you like, help you stay calm and not be nervous. Say them regularly, charging yourself with confidence and positivity ( "Today is my day!" or “Every day I become more confident” and etc.)
• Try to demonstrate external calm, even if everything is boiling inside. Straighten your shoulders, straighten your back, make your gait more measured, look up and try to eliminate fussy gestures. Control this image. Being aware of how you look will help you feel calmer and more confident internally.

How to learn calmness and equanimity

1. Irritability is often the result of overwork.. So be sure to give yourself the opportunity to relax and get enough sleep. Devote weekends to yourself, your family and your favorite activities, and not to work and many household chores.

Important! Lack of sleep in most cases leads to emotional disorders and disharmony. An exhausted body is in constant stress and loses the ability to fight it. And, on the contrary, sound healthy sleep helps to maintain vivacity and calmness.

1. The ability to plan and properly allocate your time helps to make life more measured and calm. It is necessary to prioritize the affairs and in the first place to perform important and urgent tasks.
2. Punctual people are generally calmer than those who are constantly late.. If you do not belong to the first type, then you should improve the ability to always and everywhere be on time. Arrive early for a meeting or event.
3. The environment (at home, in the workplace) should be comfortable and contribute to creating a positive mood. Keep order around. Try not to clutter up your space with a lot of items.

Important!The less unnecessary things surround you, the more freedom and harmony you will feel.

1. Listen to pleasant melodic music more often, under which you can relax. The ideal option would be classic compositions.
2. Yoga and meditation classes are also a good way to learn how to stay calm in stressful situations.
3. Try to control your habits. The less addiction you have in your life (on sweets, coffee, cigarettes, alcohol), the better you will be able to manage your own emotions and become calmer.
4. Pay more attention to those around you. Interest in people contributes to the distraction from their complexes and obsessive thoughts and the development of observation. Moreover, you can always learn from others how to behave in a given situation, analyzing their experience and noticing the effective aspects of behavior.
5. If there is a quarrel or an unpleasant conversation with someone, try to switch attention from your own negative emotions to the behavior of the interlocutor: watch his gestures, facial expressions, consider flaws, wrinkles on his face. Imagine the pressure he is under. This method helps to keep calm in a conflict situation.
6. It's good to ask important questions Q: What are my main goals? What am I doing to achieve them? What else do I need to do? Reflection on such questions and plans allows you to escape from vain thoughts and concentrate on the key moments of life.

It is important to feel like a hero of your time, to live in the present. You can’t drag the burden of past problems along with you, and no fears about the future should stop you. You must believe that your strength is enough to overcome any difficulty and you can always maintain inner integrity and peace.

One Eastern wisdom says: "It takes two hands to clap your hands." For the conflict to flare up, you need two or more people. If one of them remains calm, there will be no incident. Checked. But how exactly do you keep calm?

There is this anecdote:

How do you manage to do everything and stay optimistic?
I just don't argue with anyone.
- But it's impossible!
- Impossible so impossible.

It is easy to become such a person if you know one secret. Everything that the interlocutor tells you is a projection of his internal conflict. It has nothing to do with you. You just got in the way.

When any person says something like “You are a slob”, “You are a rude”, “You do not understand what you are talking about”, “Brake, watch where you are going”, it hurts us to the core. What right does he have to say that? What did he think of himself? Why does he think I'm like this? We are either offended, or we begin to conflict and defend our innocence.

Now imagine a different situation. The same person comes up to you and shouts: “I’m a slob”, “I’m a rude”, “I don’t understand what I’m talking about”, “I’m a brake, I don’t see where I’m going.” Such behavior does not cause anything but a smile.

So, any accusation of something to another person stems from the internal conflict of the speaker. If he does not have a fad on this subject, a mental struggle, then he will not notice this in you.

A person always talks only about what excites him personally. This has a very indirect relation to the interlocutor. Any joking or accusation speaks only of what a person does not like about himself or with which he cannot come to terms. It's not about you, it's about him. Communication with you only reveals it.

Being engaged in conflictology, the study of the origin and development of conflict for the past few years, I have never seen an exception to this rule.

So watch your reaction. Replace "you" with "I". And smile. As if a person himself had just publicly accused himself.

Agree, after understanding this issue, it will become easier to react calmly. Just do not try to explain it to your interlocutors! This is not only pointless, but also dangerous: people are sometimes not ready to receive information about their own internal conflicts. Just listen, just smile. For many people, after realizing internal conflicts and their external manifestations, life changes, relationships in the family and at work improve.

But pay attention: there is also a reverse side of the question. Observe what you say to others around you. What are you willing to fight about? Why are you expressing your thoughts this way? What are you shouting to the world?

If you talk to children about, look at what you yourself are addicted to and why it hurts you. If you talk about the selfishness of others, it means that you have not come to terms with your own selfishness. Our behavior in conflict is always a cry of inner pain.

Knowing this question has changed my life significantly, I hope it will help you too.

It is not uncommon in life that situations arise when it is necessary to maintain self-control. Not many can boast of such an ability, but many dream of developing this ability in themselves. If you are one of the latter, then my article can help you with this.

How to keep calm in conflict situations?

There is such a method of manipulation, which is aimed at controlling a person by creating stressful situations. Unlike "hidden" manipulations, when the object is processed gradually and the required information is "imperceptibly" suggested to it, this method has a direct emotional impact and is based on an aggressive attack "on the forehead".

Surely you have often been in situations where you were provoked into a conflict? That's what I'm talking about. At work, in a restaurant, on public transport, with friends, in the family and at home - conflict situations arise everywhere. Often people do not want conflicts and go to them unconsciously. But, you see, to control yourself when you are being pressed is not as easy as we would like.

This method of psychological pressure is based on

We live in a very active, aggressive world and from time to time your psycho-emotional state cannot withstand the load. Accumulating "problems" a person inflating his psyche to the limit, and at some point the flame of his rage pours out into the world. In this case, the root causes can be different: temperament, bad day, upbringing (or lack of it), manipulation. Some generally use aggressiveness as a stable conduct pattern. In any case, the emotionally possessed brain is blind and deaf, and always leads your attention in the direction of the obsession. But the more you go along with the obsession, the more you will regret it after your mental clarity returns.

Therefore, the main method of dealing with this type of emotional manipulation is not to succumb to the "obsession" of the manipulator. Those. stay calm and thus, do not catch the "infection".

And it is calmness that will allow you to weaken the pressure of the possessed.

How to keep calm?

So, let's look at a few working ways in conflict situations.

Method number 1. Attention switch

The essence of this method is to switch your attention from one sense organ to another, or from the sense organs to thoughts. Since the main information in conflict situations comes through hearing, your task is to concentrate in order to stop perceiving sounds that carry a negative.

For example, while your opponent is shaking in agony, spewing curses - start carefully looking at his face: look at the pores, bumps, or find pimples and flaws. This works well.

Alternatively, also during an unpleasant conversation, you can think about what to cook for dinner or what movie to watch in the evening.

Method number 2. Living imagination

Use a visualization technique to divert your attention or calm down. Consider a person, be it a boss, a boss, a subordinate, or an annoying granny - in some non-specific way. Preferably humorous.

For example, mentally put a helmet on the boss's head and imagine that he walks like this all the time. Or try on a swim cap. How would your interlocutor look in it?

Experiment. Just don't smile in your face. This can piss off the tanker. You are talking about serious things.

Method number 3. Block

Excellent and flawless reception.

The bottom line is this: You straighten your back, take your shoulders back and stand straight, like the “pride of the country”. Keep your hands free. Your gaze must stay calm and equanimity, and is directed at the eye (one, pre-selected) or the bridge of your opponent's nose. Blinking is better not often and a little lazily. You do not react to the words in any way - Concentrate on Breathe deeply.

You can tilt your head slightly to the side. It is a symbol of interest and indulgence.

So, we have considered four simple ways asstay calm in conflict situations. Which one to choose and adopt is a matter of taste. But remember the main thing: no matter what method you use, do not follow the obsession of your opponent. Answer all questions clearly and freely. If you are interrupted, answer after a long (5-10 seconds) pause. Always try keep. After all, it is an external manifestation of strength, spirit and confidence.