The last Russian empress called her lady-in-waiting "my big baby" and "dear martyr." Anna Vyrubova was Alexandra Feodorovna's main friend in life.
courtly simplicity
Anna Vyrubova (maiden name Taneeva) was the great-great-great-granddaughter of Mikhail Illarionovich Kutuzov. Her father for 20 years held the responsible post of secretary of state and chief administrator of His Imperial Majesty's Chancellery. The same post was held by his father and grandfather under Alexander I, Nicholas I, Alexander II and Alexander III.
At the same time, the opinion about Anna Vyrubova was fixed in the public mind that she was a commoner. This is at least not true. Even ceasing to be a lady-in-waiting due to her marriage, Anna Vyrubova remained, in fact, the main friend of the Empress. Alexandra Fedorovna called her "big baby". The "little baby" was the Empress's son - Tsarevich Alexei.
Thrice resurrected
Alexandra Fedorovna, having arrived in Russia, converted to Orthodoxy and treated this with all responsibility. However, the people around her were not so zealous in the ministry and rather loved to talk about God than to lead a God-pleasing life. Everyone except Anna Vyrubova is the Empress's lady-in-waiting, and then her faithful friend.
The Empress called Anna "my dear martyr." And this was not an exaggeration. The whole life of Anna Vyrubova is a series of trials that she accepted with truly Christian humility.
At 18, she contracted typhus. She was saved from death, as she herself believed, by the spiritual intercession of John of Kronstadt.
After 11 years, Anna Vyrubova got into a railway accident and Grigory Rasputin “revived” her, lying unconscious, with multiple fractures. Finally, in 1918, when a Red Army soldier led her to be shot, Anna saw a woman in the crowd, with whom she often prayed in the monastery on Karpovka, where the relics of St. John of Kronstadt are buried. “Do not fall into the hands of enemies,” she said. - Go, I pray. Father John will save you.” Anna Vyrubova managed to get lost in the crowd. And then another acquaintance I met, whom Vyrubova once helped, gave her 500 rubles.
"Bo don't know what they're doing"
There was, perhaps, no woman in Russian history, on whose name so many forces would be thrown to slander. Rumors about the vicious life of Anna Vyrubova circulated among the people even before the revolution. They said about her that it was she who introduced Tsar Rasputin into the environment, that she and Rasputin himself participated in various atrocities, that she allegedly seduced the Empress herself.
Vyrubova in her book told how such rumors appeared in pre-revolutionary Russia.
She wrote from the words of her sister: “In the morning, Mrs. Derfelden flew in to me with the words: “Today we are spreading rumors in the factories that the Empress is making the Sovereign drunk, and everyone believes it.”
And everyone really believed it. Everyone who did not know Vyrubova personally. Meeting her changed people. Investigator Rudnev recalled how he went to interrogate Vyrubova and had a negative attitude towards her - having heard a lot of everything that was told about her. He writes: “When Mrs. Vyrubova entered, I was immediately struck by the special expression of her eyes: this expression was full of unearthly meekness, this first favorable impression was fully confirmed in my further conversations with her.”
Vyrubova was imprisoned five times. Both under Kerensky and under the Bolsheviks. She was tortured. Once in prison, a pockmarked soldier, one of Anna's most malicious persecutors, suddenly changed dramatically. While visiting his brother, he saw a photo of Anna on the wall. He said: "For a whole year in the hospital, she was like a mother to me." Since then, the soldier did his best to help the best Vyrubova.
The already mentioned investigator Rudnev recalled that he learned not from Vyrubova herself, but from her mother, that Anna was subjected to bullying in prison. During the interrogation, Anna only meekly confirmed this and said: "They are not to blame, they do not know what they are doing."
Philanthropist
In 1915, as compensation from the railway for the injuries sustained during the accident, Anna received huge money for those times - 80 thousand rubles. Anna was bedridden for six months. All this time, the Empress visited the maid of honor every day. Then Anna Alexandrovna moved around in a wheelchair, and later on crutches or with a stick. The former maid of honor spent all the money on the creation of a hospital for war invalids, where they would be taught a trade so that they could feed themselves in the future. Another 20 thousand rubles were added by Nicholas II. Up to 100 people were in the hospital at the same time. Anna Vyrubova, together with the Empress and her daughters, served there and in other hospitals as sisters of mercy.
Elder and Anna
Contrary to common misconception, it was not Anna Vyrubova who brought Rasputin into the house of the Empress, but Alexandra Feodorovna introduced her lady-in-waiting to the “Siberian elder”. At the very first meeting, the elder promised that Anna’s desire “to devote her whole life to the service of Their Majesty” would come true. Later, he predicts that the maid of honor will marry, but will not be happy.
And so it happened. In 1907, Anna Taneeva married, but divorced a year later.
Rasputin played a huge role in Vyrubova's life. It was he, as she believed, who saved her after a railway accident in 1915, but it was the rumors about their relationship that made Vyrubova "handshake" with a significant part of the emigrants.
All the talk of alleged atrocities in which she participated with Rasputin is refuted by one simple fact: a medical examination in 1918 established that Vyrubova was a virgin.
"Vyrubova's Diary"
In December 1920, together with her mother, Vyrubova fled from Petrograd across the ice of the Gulf of Finland abroad.
In 1923, on Valaam in the Smolensk Skete, Anna took monastic vows with the name Maria, but for health reasons she did not enter any monastery and remained a secret nun in the world.
Under her maiden name, she lived in Finland for more than four decades. She died in 1964 at the age of 80.
In exile, Anna Taneeva wrote an autobiographical book, Pages of My Life. In 1922 it was published in Paris. In the Soviet Union, apparently, they decided that such an idea of the royal family could ideologically harm and published the so-called "Vyrubova's Diary", a hoax, where the entire royal entourage and the tsar himself are presented in the worst possible light.
Despite the fact that today the falsity of the Diary has already been proven, excerpts from it can still be found in the scientific community. The most likely authors of Vyrubova's Diary are the Soviet writer Alexei Tolstoy and the professor of history, an expert on the end of the 19th century, Pavel Shchegolev.
Name: Anna Vyrubova (Anna Taneeva)
Age: 80 years old
Activity: maid of honor and friend of Empress Alexandra Feodorovna, memoirist
Family status: was divorced
Anna Vyrubova: biography
Anna Alexandrovna Vyrubova was not only the favorite maid of honor of the Empress, but also the closest friend of the august person. She knew many secrets of the court and was initiated into the details of the life of the royal family. This was the cause of envy, gossip and incredible rumors that poisoned her life and trailed even after death.
Childhood and youth
Anna Vyrubova was born into a noble family, where many ancestors became famous for their faithful service to the tsar and the fatherland. The maid of honor of the maid of honor is Taneeva. She was born in St. Petersburg in the summer of 1884. Anna's father, Alexander Sergeevich Taneyev, was a prominent official and for 20 years held the responsible post of Secretary of State and Chief Executive of the Imperial Chancellery.
It is noteworthy that the same post under the tsars, and was occupied by the grandfather and great-grandfather of Taneeva.
Anna Vyrubova's mother, Nadezhda Illarionovna Tolstaya, was the great-great-granddaughter of the field marshal himself. Her father, Illarion Tolstoy, was a participant in the Russian-Turkish war, and her grandfather, General Nikolai Tolstoy, managed the Nikolaev Chesme almshouse.
Anna Vyrubova spent her childhood in a family estate near Moscow, which was called Rozhdestveno. From a young age, the girl was instilled with good manners and a love of reading. In 1902, she passed the exam at the St. Petersburg educational district and received the right to work as a home teacher.
For six months the Taneyev family lived in St. Petersburg, and for six months in Rozhdestveno. Their neighbors were noble: the princes Golitsyn, with whom the Taneevs were related, and Grand Duke Sergei Alexandrovich. His wife, Elizaveta Feodorovna, was the sister of the Tsar's wife, Alexandra Feodorovna.
Family estate "Rozhdestveno" One day, when the Taneyevs came to Rozhdestveno again, Elizaveta Fyodorovna invited them to tea. There Anna Alexandrovna Vyrubova, then still Taneeva, met Empress Alexandra Feodorovna, who came to visit her older sister.
maid of honor of the empress
In 1903, when Anna was 19 years old, she received the so-called cipher: she was entrusted with the duties of a city maid of honor under the Empress, temporarily replacing the ill Sophia Dzhambakur-Orbeliani. From that moment on, Anna Alexandrovna Vyrubova was among those chosen who wrote the history of Russia. The girl was obliged to be on duty at balls and other appearances in the light of the empress.
Soon the royal family went on vacation and took Taneeva with them. Together with Alexandra Fedorovna and the children, Anna picked mushrooms and berries, walked through the forest, and performed small tasks. They became attached to a pleasant and sensible girl. Later, in her memoirs, she writes that she also fell in love with the sovereign's family with all her heart.
The empress liked the smart, modest and well-mannered girl, who stood out sharply against the background of the conceited and self-serving nobility. But her kind attitude towards the new maid of honor immediately aroused the envy of the rest of the courtiers.
Envious and ill-wishers, of whom there were a great many around the queen, expressed open discontent, blaming the empress for her ignorance of etiquette. They said that only bearers of chosen surnames could approach the royal family, and the Taneevs were not included in this circle.
But Alexandra Fedorovna was in no hurry to give in, answering that she now knows that at least one person in her entourage serves her disinterestedly, without demanding remuneration.
In 1907, Anna married naval lieutenant Alexander Vyrubov. The queen favored this marriage. It was she who found her beloved maid of honor, as it seemed to her, a worthy party. But a year later the marriage broke up.
After the divorce, Anna Vyrubova could no longer be an official maid of honor - only unmarried girls had the right to perform these duties. But the queen did not want to part with almost the only friend she trusted. Therefore, Vyrubova remained with her as an unofficial lady-in-waiting.
It often happened that the empress escorted her to her office through the servants' rooms in order to avoid meetings with full-time ladies-in-waiting. Women whiled away the time for needlework, reading and spiritual conversation. But this secrecy of meetings gave rise to malicious rumors and dirty gossip.
A failed marriage and malicious whispering behind her back pushed the religious Anna Vyrubova to even closer communion with the church. Pierre Gilliard, the tutor of the Tsarevich, wrote about this in his memoirs. He said that the girl was very religious, prone to mysticism and sentimental, but sincerely devoted to the imperial family.
Prince N. D. Zhevakhov, a close friend of the Chief Procurator of the Holy Synod, agrees with him. In his memoirs, he wrote that the lady-in-waiting Anna Vyrubova turned out to be the only truly believing person in the empress's entourage.
The web of gossip began to weave even more actively when an old man appeared in the life of the imperial family. Rumor attributed his acquaintance with the tsarina to the mediation of Vyrubova. But the memoirs of Anna Vyrubova refute this. In them, the woman writes that she met Grigory Efimovich thanks to Grand Duchess Milica Nikolaevna. And the appearance of the Siberian wanderer in the royal chambers is the merit of the Grand Dukes and their wives, who heard about the miraculous properties of the amazing old man.
When the pendulum of history swung and the tsar abdicated, the former close associates of the Romanovs defiantly turned away from Nicholas II and his family to please the new authorities. Now they openly slandered the family and the elder, whom they bowed to only yesterday. Anna Vyrubova and Grigory Rasputin were linked together by rumor. Accusations of a vicious relationship rained down on them.
In the memoirs of Anna Vyrubova, it was said that the Grand Dukes and the aristocracy slandered the loudest, spreading rumors about the “rotten monarchy”, the imaginary vices of the imperial family, the depraved Rasputin and the cunning maid of honor.
After the February Revolution of 1917, the Provisional Government arrested Anna Vyrubova. Even her disability did not become an obstacle. After a terrible railway accident in which the maid of honor fell in 1915, she survived by a miracle. The woman could move only in a wheelchair or with the help of crutches.
Anna Vyrubova was accused of espionage and treachery and thrown into the Peter and Paul Fortress for several months. Investigator Nikolai Rudnev, who at that time was in charge of one of the departments of the Cheka (an emergency commission created by the Provisional Government of Alexander Kerensky), was instructed to investigate the cases of Rasputin and Vyrubova.
For this purpose, Rudnev arrived at the Peter and Paul Fortress to meet with Anna Alexandrovna. What he saw shocked the battered investigator. The emaciated woman was subjected to torture and incredible humiliation. She barely moved.
Rudnev demanded to replace the attending physician Serebrennikov, who encouraged bullying of the patient. Ivan Manukhin, who replaced him, having examined the former maid of honor of the Empress, was amazed: there was no living place on her body from constant beatings.
The woman was hardly fed and was not allowed to walk. From the cold and dampness, she developed pneumonia. But the main thing is that several medical examinations carried out debunked the main and dirtiest myth about Anna Vyrubova: it turned out that she was a virgin. The intimate ties attributed to her with Rasputin, the tsar and the tsarina turned out to be slander.
Due to the lack of corpus delicti, the sick and barely alive woman was released. But she was too dangerous a witness. Therefore, the threat of a new arrest constantly hung over her. Anna Alexandrovna had to hide in the apartments and basements of the people she had once helped.
In 1920, she managed to illegally move to Finland with her mother. There, the former maid of honor Anna Vyrubova, accused of greed and allegedly received millions from the royal family, led an almost beggarly lifestyle. She had difficulty obtaining citizenship due to her lack of means of subsistence.
In exile, Taneeva-Vyrubova wrote a memoir entitled "Pages of My Life". In them, she told the truth about the royal family, Grigory Rasputin and herself.
Unfortunately, this woman is still being judged by another book - "Her Majesty's maid of honor Anna Vyrubova" or "Vyrubova's Diary". This essay appeared in 1920. Its authenticity has already been called into question. Publicly refuted the authenticity of the "Diary" and Anna Alexandrovna Vyrubova herself.
In all likelihood, this vulgar libel was written to order by the new government by the Soviet writer and professor of history P. E. Shchegolev. In the same period, their joint play with a similar plot called "The Conspiracy of the Empress" was released.
Personal life
The 22-year-old maid of honor, the favorite of the Empress, was deeply unhappy in her personal life. Naval officer Alexander Vyrubov, whose wedding took place in Tsarskoye Selo, turned out to be a mentally ill person. Perhaps this happened because of the tragedy experienced. The battleship "Petropavlovsk", on which he served, was flooded during a breakthrough in the harbor of Port Arthur. Of the 750 crew members, only 83 survived. Vyrubov was among them.
It seemed to the Empress that with such a person her maid of honor would be happy. But the personal life of Anna Vyrubova cracked immediately after the marriage. Probably because of the shock experienced, the husband suffered from sexual impotence. In addition, according to Gilliard, he turned out to be a scoundrel and a drunkard.
Soon, Alexander showed signs of severe mental illness. Once, in a fit of rage, a drunken husband severely beat his wife. Vyrubov was declared mentally deranged and placed in a Swiss hospital. The marriage was annulled after a year.
Death
Anna Vyrubova lived in Finland for another 40 years. She took the tonsure and took the name Maria. Nun Maria spent the last years of her life in the Smolensk Skete of the Valaam Monastery.
Anna Alexandrovna Vyrubova died in the summer of 1964 at the age of 80. She was buried in an Orthodox cemetery in the Lapinlahti district of Helsinki.
pages of my life. Anna Taneeva (Vyrubova)
Coming with prayer and a feeling of deep reverence to the story of my sacred friendship with the Empress Alexandra Feodorovna, I want to say briefly - who am I, and how could I, brought up in a close family circle, approach my Empress.
My father, Alexander Sergeevich Taneyev, held the prominent post of Secretary of State and Chief Executive of His Imperial Majesty's Chancellery for twenty years. By a strange coincidence, the same post was held by his grandfather and father under Alexander I, Nicholas I, Alexander II and Alexander III.
My grandfather, General Tolstoy, was the aide-de-camp of Emperor Alexander II, and his great-grandfather was the famous Field Marshal Kutuzov. Mother's great-grandfather was Count Kutaisov, a friend of Emperor Paul I.
Despite the high position of my father, our family life was simple and modest. In addition to official duties, all his vital interest was focused on his family and his favorite music - he occupied a prominent place among Russian composers. I remember quiet evenings at home: my brother, sister and I, seated at a round table, prepared our lessons, my mother worked, while my father, sitting at the piano, studied composition. I thank God for a happy childhood, in which I drew strength for the difficult experiences of the following years.
***
We girls were educated at home and passed the exam for the title of teacher in the district. Sometimes, through our father, we sent our drawings and works to the Empress, who praised us, but at the same time told her father that she was amazed that Russian young ladies did not know either housekeeping or needlework and were not interested in anything other than officers.
Brought up in England and Germany, the Empress did not like the empty atmosphere of St. Petersburg society, and she kept hoping to instill a taste for work. To this end, she founded the "Needlework Society", whose members, ladies and young ladies, were required to work at least three things a year for the poor. At first everyone began to work, but soon, as with everything, our ladies cooled off, and no one could work even three things a year.
***
Life at the Court at that time was cheerful and carefree. At the age of 17, I was first introduced to the Empress Mother in Peterhof in her palace. At first, I was terribly shy, but I soon got used to it and had a lot of fun. During this first winter, I managed to attend 22 balls, not counting various other amusements. Probably. Overfatigue had an effect on my health - and in the summer, having received typhoid fever, I was 3 months near death. My brother and I were ill at the same time, but his illness was normal, and after 6 weeks he recovered; I got inflammation of the lungs, kidneys and brain, I lost my tongue, and I lost my hearing. During long painful nights, I once saw in a dream Fr. John of Kronstadt, who told me that it would be better soon.
As a child, Fr. John of Kronstadt visited us 3 times and with his blessed presence left a deep impression in my soul, and now it seemed to me that he could help more than the doctors and sisters who looked after me. I somehow managed to explain my request: to call Fr. John, - and his father immediately sent him a telegram, which, however, he did not immediately receive, since he was in his homeland. Half-forgotten, I felt that Fr. John is coming to us, and was not surprised when he entered my room. He served a prayer service, placing the stole on my head. At the end of the prayer service, he took a glass of water, blessed it and poured it over me, to the horror of the sister and the doctor, who rushed to dry me. I immediately fell asleep, and the next day the fever subsided, my hearing returned, and I began to recover.
The Grand Duchess Elizaveta Feodorovna visited me three times, and the Empress sent wonderful flowers, which were placed in my hands while I was unconscious.
***
At the end of February 1905, my mother received a telegram from her Serene Highness Princess Golitsyna, the Empress' chamberlain, who asked me to be released on duty - to replace the sick maid of honor, Princess Orbeliani. I immediately went with my mother to Tsarskoye Selo. They gave me an apartment in the museum - small gloomy rooms overlooking the Church of the Sign. If the apartment were more friendly, still I could hardly [could] overcome the feeling of loneliness in myself, being for the first time in my life away from my relatives, surrounded by a court atmosphere alien to me.
Besides, the Court was in mourning. On February 4 (hereinafter all dates are given according to the old style. - Ed.) Grand Duke Sergei Alexandrovich, the Moscow governor-general, was brutally murdered. According to rumors, he was not liked in Moscow, where a serious revolutionary movement had begun, and the Grand Duke was in daily danger.
The Grand Duchess, despite the difficult nature of the Grand Duke, was infinitely devoted to him and was afraid to let him go alone. But on that fateful day, he left without her knowledge. Hearing a terrible explosion, she exclaimed: "It is Serge." She hurriedly ran out of the palace, and a terrifying picture presented itself to her eyes: the body of the Grand Duke, torn into hundreds of pieces.
The sad mood at the Court lay heavily on the soul of a lonely girl. They made me a mourning black dress, and I wore a long crepe veil, like the rest of the ladies-in-waiting.
At the wish of the Empress, my main duty was to spend time with the sick lady-in-waiting, Princess Orbellani, who suffered from progressive paralysis. Due to her illness, her character was very difficult. The rest of the court ladies were also not distinguished by courtesy, I suffered from their frequent ridicule - they especially made fun of my French.
There was a fast, and on Wednesdays and Fridays, presanctified liturgies for the Empress were served in the field church of the Alexander Palace. I asked and received permission to attend these services. My friend was Princess Shakhovskaya, the lady-in-waiting of the Grand Duchess Elizabeth Feodorovna, who had just been orphaned. Always kind and affectionate, she was the first to give me religious books to read.
Holy Week approached, and they announced to me that my duty was over. The Empress called me to the nursery to say goodbye. I found her in the corner playroom surrounded by children, she had the Heir in her arms. I was amazed by his beauty - he looked so much like a cherub: his whole head was in golden curls, huge blue eyes, a white lace dress. The Empress gave me to hold him in my arms and immediately gave me a medallion (a gray heart-shaped stone surrounded by diamonds) as a memento of my first duty, and said goodbye to me.
***
Simple, friendly relations were established between me and the Empress, and I prayed to God that He would help me to devote my whole life to the service of Their Majesties. Soon I learned that Her Majesty also wanted to bring me closer to her.
We started playing with the Empress in 4 hands. I didn't play badly and was used to sorting out the notes, but I lost my place with excitement, and my fingers froze. We played Beethoven, Tchaikovsky and other composers. I remember our first conversations at the piano and sometimes before sleep. I remember how little by little she opened her soul to me, telling how from the first days of her arrival in Russia she felt that she was not loved, and it was doubly hard for her, since she married the Sovereign only because she loved him , and, loving the Sovereign, she hoped that their mutual happiness would bring the hearts of their subjects closer to them.
Not all at once, but little by little, the Empress told me about her youth. These conversations brought us closer… I remained a friend with her, not a maid of honor, not a court lady, but simply a friend of the Empress Empress Alexandra Feodorovna.
***
In the family circle, they often said that it was time for me to get married. Among others, naval officer Alexander Vyrubov often visited us. In December, he proposed to me. My wedding was on April 30, 1907 in the church of the Grand Palace of Tsarskoye Selo. I did not sleep all night and got up in the morning with a heavy feeling in my soul. The whole day passed like a dream… During the wedding, I felt like a stranger near my fiancé… It is hard for a woman to talk about a marriage that turned out to be unsuccessful from the very beginning, and I will only say that my poor husband suffered from a hereditary disease. Her husband's nervous system was severely shaken after the Japanese war - at Tsushima; there were moments when he could not control himself; I lay in bed all day without talking to anyone. After a year of hard feelings and humiliation, our unhappy marriage was annulled. I stayed in a tiny house in Tsarskoye Selo that my husband and I had rented; the room was very cold, as there was no foundation and in winter it blew from the floor. The Empress gave me for the wedding 6 chairs, with her own embroidery, watercolors and a lovely tea table. I was very comfortable. When Their Majesties came in the evening for tea, the Empress brought fruits and sweets in her pocket, the Sovereign - “cherry brandy”. We then sat with our feet on chairs so that our feet would not freeze. Their Majesties were amused by the simple surroundings. They drank tea with dryers by the fireplace.
***
In the autumn of 1909, for the first time, I was in Livadia, the favorite place of residence of Their Majesties on the Black Sea coast ... Life in Livadia was simple. We walked, rode, swam in the sea. The sovereign adored nature, he was completely reborn; we walked for hours in the mountains, in the forest. We took tea with us and fried the mushrooms we collected on the fire. The sovereign rode horseback and played tennis daily; I have always been his partner, while the Grand Duchesses were still small ... In the fall, the Heir fell ill. Everyone in the palace was overwhelmed by the suffering of the poor boy. Nothing helped him except the care and concern of his mother. The people around prayed in a small palace church. Sometimes we sang during the Vespers and Liturgy: Her Majesty, the senior Grand Duchesses, myself and two choristers from the court chapel. By Christmas we returned to Tsarskoye Selo. Before his departure, the Tsar walked several times in a soldier's marching uniform, wanting to experience the burden of ammunition on himself. There were several curious cases when sentries, not recognizing the Sovereign, did not want to let him back into Livadia.
Describing life in the Crimea, I must say what an ardent participation the Empress took in the fate of tuberculosis patients who came to Crimea for treatment. Sanatoriums in the Crimea were of the old type. After examining them all in Yalta, the Empress immediately decided to build sanatoriums on their estates with all the improvements at her own expense, which was done.
For hours, I traveled around the hospitals on the orders of the Empress, asking the patients on behalf of the Empress about all their needs. How much money I carried from Her Majesty to pay for the treatment of the poor! If I found any egregious case of a lonely dying patient, the Empress immediately ordered a car and went with me personally, bringing money, flowers, fruits, and most importantly, the charm that she always knew how to inspire in such cases, bringing the dying person with her into the room. so much kindness and vivacity. How many tears of gratitude I have seen! But no one knew about it - the Empress forbade me to talk about it.
On the day of the “white flower”, the Empress went to Yalta in a chaise with baskets of white flowers; the children accompanied her on foot. The enthusiasm of the people knew no bounds. The people, at that time untouched by revolutionary propaganda, adored Their Majesties, and this cannot be forgotten.
***
I remember our trips to the church in winter for Vespers. The empress slowly kissed the icons, put a candle with a trembling hand, and prayed on her knees; but then the watchman found out - he was running to the altar, the priest was alarmed; run after the singers, illuminate the dark temple. The empress is in despair and, turning to me, whispers that she wants to leave. What to do? The sleigh has been sent. In the meantime, children and various aunts run into the church, who try, pushing each other, to pass by the Empress and light a candle by the icon at which she stood up, forgetting why they came; lighting candles, they turn to look at her, and she is no longer able to pray, she gets nervous… How many churches have we traveled around like that! There were happy days when no one recognized us, and the Empress prayed - departing with her soul from earthly vanity, kneeling on the stone floor, unnoticed by anyone in the corner of the dark temple. Returning to her royal chambers, she came to dinner ruddy from the frosty air, with slightly tearful eyes, calm, leaving her worries and sorrows in the hands of the Almighty God.
Brought up in a small Court, the Empress knew the value of money and was therefore thrifty. Dresses and shoes passed from the older Grand Duchesses to the younger ones. When she chose gifts for relatives or friends, she always took into account the prices.
I personally did not receive any money from the Empress and was often in a difficult situation. I received 400 rubles a month from my parents. They paid 2,000 rubles a year for the dacha. I had to pay the servants' wages and dress properly at Court, so I never had any money. Retinue maids of honor of Her Majesty received 4 thousand a year for everything ready. I remember how the brother of the Empress, the Grand Duke of Hesse, told the Empress that they should give me an official place at the Court: then the conversations would stop, and it would be easier for me. But the Empress refused, saying: “Does the All-Russian Empress really have no right to have a friend! After all, the Empress Mother had a friend - Princess A. A. Obolenskaya, and Empress Maria Alexandrovna was friends with Mrs. Maltseva.
Subsequently, the Minister of the Court, Count Frederiks, spoke many times with Her Majesty about my plight. First, the Empress began to give me dresses and materials for the holidays; finally, somehow calling me, she said that she wanted to talk to me about the money question. She asked me how much I spend a month, but I couldn't give an exact number; then, taking a pencil and paper, she began to calculate with me: salary, kitchen, kerosene, etc. It came out 270 rubles a month. Her Majesty wrote to Count Frederiks to have this amount sent to her from the Ministry of the Court, which she gave me every first day. After the revolution, during a search, they found these envelopes with the inscription "270 rubles" and 25 rubles in cash. After all the talk, how amazed were the members of the Investigative Commission. Searched all banks and found nothing! Her Majesty has been paying 2,000 for my dacha in recent years. The only money I had was the 100,000 rubles that I received for my injury from the railway. I built an infirmary on them. Everyone thought that I was rich, and what tears it cost me to refuse a request for financial assistance - no one believed that I had nothing.
***
The year 1914 began peacefully and calmly for everyone, which became fatal for our poor Motherland and almost for the whole world. But personally I had a lot of hard experiences; The Empress, without any reason, began to be very jealous of the Sovereign.
Considering herself offended in her dearest feelings, the Empress, apparently, could not resist pouring out her bitterness in letters to her relatives, drawing in these letters my personality in far from attractive colors.
But, thank God, our friendship, my boundless love and devotion to Their Majesties triumphantly withstood the test and, as everyone can see from the later letters of the Empress in the same edition, and even more from those appended to this book, “the misunderstanding did not last long, and then without a trace disappeared,” and in the future, the deeply friendly relations between me and the Empress grew to the point of complete indestructibility, so that no subsequent trials, not even death itself, are able to separate us from each other.
***
The days before the declaration of war were terrible; I saw and felt how the Sovereign was being persuaded to take a dangerous step; war seemed inevitable. The Empress tried with all her might to keep him, but all her reasonable persuasion and requests led to nothing. I played tennis with the children every day; returning, she found the Sovereign pale and upset. From conversations with him, I saw that he, too, considered war inevitable, but he consoled himself with the fact that war strengthens national and monarchical feelings, that Russia after the war will become even more powerful, that this is not the first war, etc.
We moved to Tsarskoye Selo, where the Empress organized a special evacuation point, which included about 85 infirmaries in Tsarskoye Selo, Pavlovsk, Peterhof, Luga, Sablin and other places. These infirmaries served about 10 ambulance trains named after her and the children. In order to better manage the activities of the infirmaries, the Empress decided to personally take a course of wartime sisters of mercy with two senior Grand Duchesses and with me. The Empress chose Princess Gedroits, a woman surgeon who was in charge of the Palace Hospital, as a teacher... Standing behind the surgeon, the Empress, like every operating nurse, handed sterilized instruments, cotton wool and bandages, carried away amputated legs and arms, bandaged gangrenous wounds, not shunning anything and steadfastly enduring odors and gruesome pictures of a military hospital during the war.
Having passed the exam, the Empress and the children, along with other sisters who completed the course, received red crosses and certificates for the title of sisters of mercy in wartime ... A terribly difficult and tiring time began ... and from there we went to work in the infirmary. Having had a quick breakfast, the Empress devoted the whole day to inspecting other hospitals.
***
Shortly after the events I have related, there was a railroad accident on January 2, 1915. I left the Empress at 5 o'clock and went to the city with the 5.20 train ... Not reaching 6 versts to St. Petersburg, suddenly there was a terrible roar, and I felt that I was falling head down somewhere and hitting the ground; my legs got tangled, probably in the heating pipes, and I felt how they broke. For a minute I lost consciousness. When I came to my senses, there was silence and darkness around. Then the screams and groans of the wounded and dying crushed under the ruins of the wagons were heard. I myself could neither move nor scream; I had a huge iron bar on my head and blood flowed from my throat. I prayed that I would die soon, because I suffered unbearably ... For four hours I lay on the floor without any help. The doctor who arrived, approached me, said: “She is dying, she should not be touched!” A soldier of the railway regiment, sitting on the floor, put my broken legs on his knees, covered me with his overcoat (it was 20 degrees below zero), since my fur coat was torn to pieces.
I remember how they carried me through the crowd of people in Tsarskoye Selo, and I saw the Empress and all the Grand Duchesses in tears. I was transferred to an ambulance, and the Empress immediately jumped into it; sitting down on the floor, she held my head in her lap and encouraged me; I whispered to her that I was dying. For the next six weeks, I was tormented day and night by inhuman suffering.
***
The railway gave me 100,000 rubles for the injury. With this money I founded an infirmary for disabled soldiers, where they learned every trade; started with 60 people, and then expanded to 100. Having experienced how hard it is to be a cripple, I wanted to make life a little easier for them in the future. After all, upon arrival home, families would look at them as if they were an extra mouth! A year later, we produced 200 artisans, shoemakers, bookbinders. This infirmary immediately went amazingly ... later, maybe more than once, my dear invalids saved my life during the revolution. Still, there are people who remember the good.
***
It is difficult and disgusting to talk about Petrograd society, which, despite the war, had fun and reveled all day long. Restaurants and theaters flourished. According to the stories of one French dressmaker, in no season were so many suits ordered as in the winter of 1915-1916, and so many diamonds were not bought: the war seemed to not exist.
In addition to revelry, society was entertained by a new and very interesting activity - dissolving all kinds of gossip about the Empress Alexandra Feodorovna. A typical case was told to me by my sister. One morning Mrs. Derfelden flew in to her with the words: “Today we are spreading rumors in the factories that the Empress is drinking the Sovereign, and everyone believes it.” I am talking about this typical case, since this lady was very close to the grand princely circle, which overthrew Their Majesties from the throne and unexpectedly themselves.
The atmosphere in the city thickened, rumors and slander against the Empress began to take on monstrous proportions, but Their Majesties, and especially the Sovereign, continued to pay no attention to them and treated these rumors with complete contempt, not noticing the impending danger.
How often I saw in the eyes of courtiers and various high-ranking faces malice and malevolence. I always noticed all these views and realized that it could not be otherwise after the persecution and slander that had been launched, which blackened the Empress through me.
***
We went to Headquarters to visit the Sovereign. Probably all these eminent foreigners who lived in Headquarters worked in the same way with Sir Buchanan (Ambassador of England. - Ed.). There were many of them: General Williams with headquarters from England, General Janin from France, General Rickel - Belgian, as well as Italian, Serbian and Japanese generals and officers. One day, after breakfast, all of them and our generals and staff officers were crowding in the garden while Their Majesties were talking to the guests. Behind me, foreign officers, speaking loudly, called the Empress insulting words and made comments in public... I moved away, I almost felt sick.
The Grand Dukes and officials of the staff were invited to breakfast, but the Grand Dukes often "got sick" and did not appear for breakfast during the arrival of Her Majesty; General Alekseev (chief of staff. - Ed.) also "fell ill". The sovereign did not want to notice their absence. The empress was tormented, not knowing what to do. I personally constantly guessed various insults, both in the looks and in the “amiable” handshakes, and I understood that this anger was directed through me at the Empress.
Among untruth, intrigue and malice, however, there was one bright place in Mogilev, where I brought my sick soul and tears. It was the Brotherhood Monastery. Behind a high stone wall on the main street is a lonely white temple, where two or three monks celebrated their service, spending a life of poverty and deprivation. There was a miraculous icon of the Mogilev Mother of God, whose good face shone in the twilight of the poor stone church. Every day I snatched a minute to go and venerate the icon. Having heard about the icon, the Empress also went twice to the monastery. There was also the Sovereign, but in our absence. In one of the most difficult moments of spiritual anguish, when an imminent catastrophe seemed close to me, I remember taking my diamond earrings to the Mother of God. By a strange coincidence, the only small icon that I was later allowed to have in the fortress was the icon of the Mother of God of Mogilev - having taken away all the others, the soldiers threw it on my knees. Hundreds of times a day and during terrible nights, I pressed her to my chest.
The soul became heavier and heavier; General Voeikov complained that the Grand Dukes sometimes ordered trains for themselves an hour before the Sovereign's departure, regardless of him, and if the general refused, they built all sorts of intrigues and intrigues against him.
***
Every day I received dirty anonymous letters threatening me with murder, etc. The Empress, who understood these circumstances better than all of us, as I wrote, immediately ordered me to move to the palace, and I sadly left my house, not knowing that I will never return there. By order of Their Majesties, from that day on, my every step was guarded. When I went to the infirmary, the orderly Zhuk always accompanied me; I was not even allowed to walk around the palace alone.
Little by little, life in the palace got back to normal. The emperor read aloud to us in the evenings. At Christmas (1917. - Ed.) There were ordinary Christmas trees in the palace and in the infirmaries; Their Majesties gave gifts to the surrounding retinue and servants; but they did not send gifts to the Grand Dukes this year. Despite the holiday, Their Majesties were very sad: they experienced deep disappointment in relatives and relatives whom they had previously trusted and whom they loved, and it seems that the Sovereign and Empress of All Russia have never been so alone as they are now. Betrayed by their own relatives, slandered by people who in the eyes of the whole world were called representatives of Russia, Their Majesties had around them only a few devoted friends and ministers appointed by them, who were all condemned by public opinion ... The sovereign is constantly reproached for not knowing how to choose themselves ministers. At the beginning of his reign, he took people who were trusted by his late father, Emperor Alexander III. Then take your choice. Unfortunately, the war and revolution did not give Russia a single name that posterity could proudly repeat ... we Russians too often blame others for our misfortune, not wanting to understand that our situation is the work of our own hands, we are all to blame, especially the upper classes are to blame. Few do their duty in the name of duty and Russia. A sense of duty was not inspired from childhood; in families, children were not brought up in love for the Motherland, and only the greatest suffering and the blood of innocent victims can wash away our sins and the sins of entire generations.
***
Sovereign Nicholas II was accessible, of course, as a man to all human weaknesses and sorrows, but in this difficult moment (abdication from the throne - Ed.) of deep resentment and humiliation, I still could not convince myself that his enemies would triumph; I could not believe that the Sovereign, the most generous and honest of the entire Romanov Family, would be condemned to become an innocent victim of his relatives and subjects. But the tsar, with a perfectly calm expression of his eyes, confirmed all this, adding that "if all Russia had begged him on her knees to return to the throne, he would never have returned." Tears sounded in his voice when he spoke about his friends and relatives, whom he trusted most of all and who were accomplices in overthrowing him from the throne. He showed me the telegrams of Brusilov, Alekseev and other generals, from members of his family, including Nikolai Nikolaevich: everyone asked His Majesty on their knees to abdicate the throne to save Russia. But abdicate in favor of whom? In favor of the weak and indifferent Duma! No, in their own favor, so that, using the name and prestige of Alexei Nikolaevich, the rule and enrichment of the regency chosen by them! ..
I realized that everything is over for Russia now. The army has disintegrated, the people have completely fallen morally, and the horrors that awaited us all were already presented to my eyes.
***
(Trubetskoy bastion of the Peter and Paul Fortress)
Anyone who experienced the first moment of imprisonment will understand what I experienced: black, hopeless grief and despair. From weakness I fell on the iron bed; around on the stone floor - puddles of water, water flowed over the glass, darkness and cold; a tiny window near the ceiling did not let in any light or air, it smelled of dampness and mustiness. In the corner there is a closet and a sink. An iron table and a bed are attached to the wall. The bed had a thin hairy mattress and two dirty pillows. A few minutes later I heard the keys being turned in the double or triple locks of a huge iron door, and some terrible man with a black beard, dirty hands and an evil, criminal face, surrounded by a crowd of impudent disgusting soldiers, entered. On his orders, the soldiers tore the mattress off the bed, removed the second pillow, and then began to tear off my icons, gold rings. This individual told me that he was here instead of the Minister of Justice and it depended on him to establish a regime for the prisoners. Subsequently, he gave his last name - Kuzmin, a former convict who spent 15 years in hard labor in Siberia.
I was literally starving. Twice a day they brought half a bowl of some kind of slop, like soup, into which the soldiers often spat, put glass. It often stank of rotten fish, so I plugged my nose, swallowing a little, so as not to starve to death ... Not once in all these months was I allowed to bring food from home.
Our life was a slow death penalty. Every day we were taken out for 10 minutes to a small courtyard with several trees; in the middle of the yard stood a bathhouse. Six armed soldiers took out all the prisoners in turn. On the first morning, when I came out of the cold and the smell of the grave into the fresh air even for these 10 minutes, I came to my senses, feeling that I was still alive, and somehow it became easier ... I think no other garden in the world has brought so much joy to anyone like our wretched garden in the fortress. I breathed God's air, looked at the sky, carefully watched every cloud, peering into every grass, every leaf on the bushes.
I never undressed; I had two woolen handkerchiefs; I put one on my head, the other on my shoulders: I covered myself with my coat. It was cold from the wet floor and walls. I slept for 4 hours. Waking up, I warmed myself in the only warm corner of the cell, where there was an oven outside: I stood idle for hours on my crutches, leaning against a dry wall.
Now we need to talk about the main tormentor, the doctor of the Trubetskoy bastion - Serebryannikov. He appeared already on the first day of detention and then went around the cells almost every day. Fat, with an evil face and a huge red bow on his chest. He tore off my shirt in front of the soldiers, arrogantly and rudely mocking.
These days I could not pray and only repeated the words of the Savior: “God, my God, you have left me!”
A week after we had been in custody, we were told that guards from the women's prison would be on duty with us. The first warden was a lively young lady who flirted with all the soldiers and did not pay much attention to us; the second is older, with meek, sad eyes. From the first minute she understood the depth of my suffering and was our support and guardian angel. Truly there are saints on earth, and she was holy. I do not want to name her, but I will speak of her as our angel. Everything that was in her power to alleviate our miserable existence, she did everything. Never in my life will I be able to thank her. Seeing that we were literally dying of hunger, she used her meager means to buy either a little sausage, or a piece of cheese or chocolate, etc. She was not allowed to enter alone, but, leaving after the soldiers, the last one out of the cell, she managed to throw a parcel in a corner near the closet, and I rushed like a hungry animal on a bag, ate in this corner, picked up and threw away all the crumbs.
She brought me the first joy by giving me a red egg for Easter.
I do not know how to describe this bright holiday in prison. I felt forgotten by God and people. On the Bright Night, she woke up from the ringing of bells and sat up in bed, shedding tears. Several drunken soldiers burst in, with the words "Christ is Risen!" christened. In their hands were plates with Easter cake and pieces of Easter cake; but they got me. “She needs to be tortured more, as close to the Romanovs,” they said. The priest asked permission from the government to walk around the prisoners with a cross, but he was refused. On Good Friday we were all confessed and communed with the Holy Mysteries; they took us in turn to one of the cells, a soldier was standing at the entrance. The priest wept with me in confession. I will never forget the affectionate father of John Rudnev; he has gone to a better world. He took our unreasonable grief to his heart so deeply that he fell ill after these confessions.
It was Easter, and in my miserable surroundings I sang Easter songs, sitting on a bunk. The soldiers thought that I had lost my mind, and when they entered, they threatened to beat me and demanded that I be silent. Laying my head on the dirty pillow, I began to cry... But suddenly I felt something strong under the pillow and, putting my hand in, felt the egg. I didn't dare to believe my joy. In fact, under a dirty pillow stuffed with straw, lay a red egg, laid by the kind hand of my only friend now, our matron. I think not a single red testicle brought so much joy that day: I pressed it to my heart, kissed it and thanked God.
***
On April 23, on the name day of the Empress, when I was especially desperate and sad, Dr. Manukhin, an infinitely kind and wonderful person, walked around our cells for the first time. With his arrival, we felt that there is a God in heaven and we are not forgotten by him. For him, we were all patients, not prisoners. He demanded to be shown our food, and ordered each to be given a bottle of milk and two eggs a day. How he succeeded, I don’t know, but he had an iron will, and although at first the soldiers wanted to raise him with bayonets several times, they eventually submitted to him, and he, despite the rudeness and troubles, forgetting himself, his health and strength, in the name of love for suffering humanity, he did everything to save us.
The interrogations of Rudnev continued all the time. I once asked Dr. Manukhin: why are they torturing me for so long? He reassured me, saying that they would sort it out, but he warned me that an even worse interrogation awaited me.
A few days later he came to me alone, closed the door, saying that the Commission had instructed him to talk to me face to face, and therefore this time the soldiers did not accompany him. The Extraordinary Commission, he said, had almost finished examining my case and came to the conclusion that the accusations were without foundation, but that I needed to go through this “doctoral” interrogation in order to rehabilitate myself, and that I should agree to this! .. When the “interrogation ” ended, I lay broken and tired on the bed, covering my face with my hands. From that moment, Dr. Manukhin became my friend - he understood the deep, hopeless grief of the undeserved slander that I had been carrying for so many years.
***
(Arrest House, Furshtadtskaya 40)
The month that I spent in the Arrestny Dom was relatively calm and happy, although sometimes it was terrifying, since at that time there was the first attempt of the Bolsheviks to stand at the head of the government.
The commandant, having learned that I had a camp church in the infirmary, turned to me with a request if I would not allow me to serve mass for all the prisoners. Since the greatest desire of the officers was to partake of the Holy Mysteries. This Mass coincided with my birthday on July 16th. This service was touching: all these unfortunate people, tortured in prisons, stood on their knees all the mass; many wept uncontrollably, and I also wept, standing in a corner, listening, after inexplicable torments, to this first Mass.
At the Arrest House, I began to get better. All day I sat at the open window and could not stop looking at the greenery in the garden and at the little church of Cosmas and Damian. But most of all it gave pleasure - to look at the passing and passing people. The color of the face turned from earthy to normal, but for a long time I could not get used to talking, and it terribly tired me. By evening, I was nervous: it always seemed to me that arrows from the fortress would come for me.
***
On July 24, a telegram arrived from the prosecutor's office, asking one of my relatives to come to get a paper for my release.
Of course, she did not dare to go to Tsarskoye. I learned from my faithful Berchik how my house was searched, how the Provisional Government offered him 10 thousand rubles, if only he would slander me and the Empress; but he, having served 45 years in our family, refused, and he was sent to prison, where he spent a whole month. During the first search, they tore off the carpets in my room, raised the floor, looking for the “underground passage to the palace” and secret telegraph wires to Berlin. They searched for Vyrubova's office, finding nothing, and were terribly annoyed. But the main thing they were looking for was wine cellars, and they could not believe that I did not have wine.
***
On the evening of August 24, as soon as I went to bed, at 11 o'clock the commissar from Kerensky appeared with two "adjutants" and they said that I, as a counter-revolutionary, would be sent abroad at 24 o'clock. The morning of the 26th was cold and rainy, my heart was inexpressibly heavy. We drove to the station in two cars... dear parents were allowed to accompany me to Terioki. Our car was the first from the locomotive. At 7 o'clock in the morning the train started moving - I burst into tears. My uncle jokingly called me an immigrant. Despite all the torment that I have undergone in recent months, the "emigrant" was killed at the thought of leaving the Motherland.
Approaching Riihimaki, I saw a crowd of several thousand soldiers on the platform; all of them, apparently, were waiting for our train and, with wild cries, surrounded our car. In one minute they unhooked him from the locomotive and burst in, demanding that we be handed over to be torn to pieces. “Give us the Grand Dukes. Let's go to General Gurko…” A full carriage burst into them. I thought it was all over, I sat holding the sister of mercy by the hand. “Here he is, General Gurko,” they shouted, running up to me. In vain my sister assured me that I was a sick woman - they did not believe, they demanded that I be undressed, assuring me that I was Gurko in disguise. Probably, we would all have been torn to pieces on the spot, if not for two delegate sailors from Helsingfors, who arrived by car: they flew into the car, pushed out half of the soldiers, and one of them was tall, thin, with a pale, kind face (Antonov) - addressed a thunderous speech to the thousandth crowd, urging them to calm down and not commit lynching, as this is a shame. He managed to act on them, so that the soldiers calmed down a bit and allowed the car to be attached to a steam locomotive for further transportation to Helsingfors.
We ended up on the yacht "Polar Star", with which I have so many dear memories of sailing - on the same waters with Their Majesties. The yacht passed, like all the property of the Sovereign, into the hands of the Provisional Government. Now it was attended by "Centrobalt". It was impossible to recognize in the spitting, filthy and smoky cabin the wonderful dining room of Their Majesties. A hundred "rulers" - dirty brutalized sailors - were sitting at the same tables. There was a meeting at which questions and the fate of the devastated fleet and poor Russia were decided.
There was some kind of "Congress of Soviets" in Petrograd and a change of government was expected. In the event of Kerensky leaving, the sailors decided to let us go... the question of us was decided positively by the Regional Committee... Trotsky stood at the head of the Petrograd Soviet, to whom we are being escorted.
At 9 o'clock in the morning we arrived in Petrograd ... in Smolny. We found ourselves in a huge corridor along which soldiers roamed. I was happy to hug dear mother, who ran in with other relatives. Soon Kamenev and his wife arrived; greeted all of us, said that we were probably hungry, ordered everyone to bring dinner. They decided to call someone from the commission of inquiry by phone, but they could not find anyone, since it was Sunday and the Feast of the Intercession (I always hoped that on this day the Mother of God would protect us). Kamenev, on the other hand, said that he personally lets us go to all four directions ... The next day, all the newspapers were full of us ... Entire articles were devoted to me and Kameneva: there were legends that ended with stories that I was sitting at the Smolny, that they saw me there "with their own eyes" that I ride with Kollontai and hide Trotsky, etc.
***
Oddly enough, but the winter of 1917 - 1918. and the summer of 1918, when I was hiding in my small apartment on the 6th floor in Petrograd, were relatively calm, although the capital was in the hands of the Bolsheviks, and I knew that no life was safe. Food was scarce, prices were high, and the general situation grew worse and worse.
I believed, hoped and prayed that the terrible situation in Russia was temporary, and that soon there would be a reaction, and the Russian people would understand their mistake and sin in relation to the dear prisoners in Tobolsk. The same opinion, it seemed to me, was also expressed by the writer Gorky, who probably wanted to see me for the sake of curiosity... Gorky treated me kindly and sympathetically. He told me that I had a responsible task to write the truth about Their Majesties "for the reconciliation of the king with the people." I was advised to live quieter, not reminding myself. I saw him two more times and showed him several pages of my memoirs, but it was impossible to write in Russia.
***
At the end of the summer of 1918, life in Russia took on a chaotic character: despite the fact that the shops were closed, it was possible to purchase some provisions in the markets. The prices were already prohibitive then. A pound of bread cost several hundred rubles, and oil - several thousand ... I remember a hard day when I had only five kopecks left in my pocket; I sat on a bench in the Tauride Garden and cried. When she returned home, my mother, who had been sick in bed all summer, told me that a friend had just come and brought us 20,000 rubles after learning about our poverty. After that, he disappeared, and we never found out what became of him. Thanks to his help, I managed to send the necessary things and clothes to the royal family.
On the night of October 7, mother and I were awakened by strong knocks at the door, and 8 armed soldiers from Gorokhovaya burst into our room to conduct a search, and also to arrest me and the sister of mercy ... Ten minutes later we arrived at Gorokhovaya ... When it began to dawn, the arrested began to rise; a soldier with a gun led parties to a dirty lavatory. They washed their faces under the tap. The woman who was the most in the Cheka was chosen as the head of the arrested women. Not knowing what I was accused of, I lived from hour to hour in constant fear, like everyone else, however ... Often at night, when we were tired, we fell asleep, we were awakened by an electric light, and the soldiers called one of the women: frightened, she got up, collecting their belongings, some returned, others disappeared ... and no one knew what awaited everyone. Shouting out my last name, they added: "to the Vyborg prison." They took me down to the street. I had some more money, so I asked the soldier to take a cab and let me see my mother on the way. It was already evening, the trams were not running. It was raining. We hired a cab driver for 60 rubles to the Vyborg prison; gave all the remaining money to the soldier, and he agreed to stop near our house.
How many interrogated and tortured me, inventing all kinds of accusations! By October 25, the Bolshevik holiday, many of us were released ... But the amnesty did not concern the "political". On November 10, in the evening, the assistant warden called me, saying that an order had come from Gorokhova to immediately escort me there ... Almost immediately they summoned me for interrogation ... for about an hour they shouted at me with terrible anger, assuring me that I was a member of a German organization, that me some plans against the Cheka, that I was a dangerous counter-revolutionary and that I would certainly be shot, like all the "bourgeois", since their policy, the Bolsheviks, was the "destruction" of the intelligentsia, etc. I tried not to lose my composure, seeing that before me are the mentally ill ... Returning, I fell on a dirty bed; The interrogation lasted three hours... A painful hour passed. The soldier appeared again and shouted: “Taneyev! With things to freedom "...
Trouble awaited me at home: a sister of mercy, whom I had known since 1905, who served in my infirmary and, after my imprisonment, settled with me and my mother, stole all my remaining gold things.
***
The winter of 1919 was spent quietly. But I was very nervous: I found peace only in churches. I often went to the Lavra, to the grave of my father: I was constantly at Karpovka near Fr. John. Occasionally saw some friends; many kind people did not leave me and my mother, they brought us bread and food. You weigh their names, Lord!
Summer has come, hot, as in the previous year. The mother developed severe dysentery. Saved her, as in the past year, dear Dr. Manukhin. Indiscriminate searches began in all districts of the city. Cars with soldiers and women drove around for whole nights, and entire companies were arrested. Usually this summer the electricity was extinguished at 7 pm, but when it was lit again in the evening, the townsfolk knew that a search was expected, and they were shaking. These gentlemen visited us seven times, but behaved decently. At the end of July, I was arrested again.
Arriving at the headquarters of the Petrograd defense on Malaya Morskaya, they put me on a leather sofa in the office while they had a “meeting” about me. “How long will they keep me here?” I asked. “They don’t keep anyone here - they shoot or let them go!..” Instead of asking about weapons and bombs, they brought an album of my photographs taken in Mogilev and taken from me ... they demanded an explanation from me for each photograph, and also posed the same questions about the royal family ... "Look, look how cute they are," they said, looking at the photographs of the Grand Duchesses. Then they announced to me that they were letting me go home. (The interrogation took place right after the execution of the royal family, so this is especially cynical: “Look, look how cute they are.” - Ed.)
***
A month later, the offensive of the White Army on Petrograd began. The city was declared under martial law, searches and arrests doubled. The government was nervous. Everywhere soldiers studied, airplanes flew. Since the summer, cards have also been introduced, according to which the unfortunate population received less and less food. Epidemics began to rage. The intelligentsia starved most of all, receiving in public canteens two spoons of water with potatoes instead of soup, and a spoonful of porridge ... On the eve of the Exaltation, I was at a night prayer in the Lavra; started at 11 o'clock. evenings. Vespers, Midnight Office, General Unction and Early Liturgy. The cathedral was so crowded that, as they say, the apple had nowhere to fall. Before dinner, there was a general confession, which was conducted by the priest Vvedensky. Metropolitan Veniamin read the permissive prayer. For more than an hour we approached the Holy Mysteries: we had to move crushed among the crowd, so that it was even impossible to raise our hand to cross ourselves. The sun shone brightly, when at 8 o'clock in the morning a joyful crowd came out of the gates of the Lavra, no one even felt particularly tired. In churches, people sought solace from the bitter experiences and losses of this terrible time.
On September 22, in the evening, I went to a lecture in one of the remote churches and stayed overnight with friends, since going home in the evening was both far and dangerous. All the last time longing and eternal fear did not leave me; that night I saw Fr. John of Kronstadt in a dream. He told me: "Don't be afraid, I'm with you all the time!" I decided to go straight from my friends to the early Mass at Karpovka, and having communed the Holy Mysteries, I returned home. She was surprised to find the back door locked. When I called, my mother opened the door to me, all in tears, and with her two soldiers who had come to take me to Gorokhovaya... Our room was full; next to me was a fair-haired Finnish lady who had been arrested for trying to leave for Finland. She now served as a typist in the emergency department and worked at night: she compiled lists of those arrested and therefore knew in advance about the fate of many. In addition, the chief commissioner, an Estonian, looked after this young lady. Returning at night from her service, she in an undertone conveyed to her friend, a tall red-haired Georgian woman Menabda, exactly who would be taken to Kronstadt to be shot. I realized that the worst was in store for me, and I went cold all over... “Leave Menabde, Vyrubova to Moscow,” shouted the head of the commissars as he entered our cell on the morning of October 7th. During the night I bled profusely; the headman and the doctor tried to protest against the order, but he repeated: "If she doesn't come, take her by force." Two soldiers came in and grabbed me. But I asked them to leave me, and after tying my bundle, I opened my little Gospel. The eye fell on verse 6 of chapter 3 of Luke: "And all flesh shall see the salvation of God." A ray of hope sparkled in a tormented heart. They hurried me, they said that they would first take me to Shpalernaya, then to Vologda. But I knew where I was being led. "We can't mess with her," said the commissar to the elder.
And here happened what the reader can call what he wants. But what do I call a miracle. The tram, which we were supposed to transfer to, was delayed somewhere and a large crowd of people was waiting. I was also standing with my soldier, but after a few minutes he got tired of waiting and, saying to wait one minute while he looked where our tram was, he ran off to the right. At that moment, an officer of the Sapper Regiment, whom I once helped, first approached me, asked if I recognized him, and, taking out 500 rubles, put it in my hand, saying that the money might come in handy ... At that time, she quickly approached me steps one of the women with whom I often prayed together on Karpovka: she was one of Fr. John of Kronstadt. “Do not fall into the hands of enemies,” she said, “go, I pray. Father John will save you.” It's like someone pushed me; hobbling with my wand, I walked along Mikhailovskaya Street (my bundle remained with the soldier), straining my last strength and crying loudly: “Lord, save me! Father John, save me!” I got to Nevsky: there are no trams. Should I run into the chapel? I don't dare. She crossed the street and walked along the Perinnaya line, looking around. I see a soldier running after me. Well, I think it's over. I leaned against the house, waiting. The soldier, having run, turned onto the Catherine's Canal. Whether it was this one or the other, I don't know. I went along Chernyshev Lane. My strength began to weaken, it seemed to me that a little more, and I would fall. The cap fell off my head, my hair fell, passers-by looked at me, probably taking me for a madman. I reached Zagorodny. There was a cab driver on the corner. I ran up to him, but he shook his head. "Busy". Then I showed him a 500-ruble note, which I held in my left hand. "Sit down," he called. I gave the address of friends beyond Petrograd.
***
How can I describe my wanderings in the following months. Like a hunted animal, I hid first in one dark corner, then in another.
It was 1920. The Lord, through kind people, did not leave me... Letters began to arrive from abroad from my mother's sister, who urged us to agree to go to her... But how to leave the Motherland? I knew that God is so great that if He wants to keep, then always and everywhere His hand is over us. And why is there more security abroad? God, what did this step cost me! ..
We set off: I was barefoot, in a tattered coat. We met with my mother at the railway station and, having passed several stations, got off. Darkness. We were ordered to follow the boy with the sack of potatoes, but we lost him in the dark. We are standing in the middle of a village street: mother with a single bag, me with my stick. Shouldn't you go back? Suddenly, a girl in a headscarf emerged from the darkness, explained that she was the boy's sister, and ordered to follow her into the hut. The Finns hesitated, not daring to go, as a dance was taking place nearby. At 2 o'clock in the morning they whispered to us: to pack up. They walked out onto the porch without noise. A large Finnish sleigh was hidden in the yard. They drove away just as silently. Almost all the time we walked along the bay: there was a thaw, and huge cracks in the ice. One of the Finns walked ahead, measuring with an iron stick. Every now and then they stopped and listened. To the left, close, the lights of Kronstadt seemed to flicker. Hearing a steady knock, they turned around with the words "chase", but later we learned that this sound was made by the icebreaker "Ermak", which was moving, cutting through the ice behind us. We passed last. It was almost daylight when we ran up to the Finnish coast and rushed along the roundabout roads to the Finns' house, afraid to fall into the hands of the Finnish police here. Stiff, tired, thinking little, mother and I came to quarantine, where they kept all the Russian refugees ... They washed us, fed us and gradually clothed us. What a strange feeling it was to put on boots.
Both my mother and I had a soul full of inexplicable suffering: if it was hard in our dear Motherland, now it is sometimes lonely and difficult without a home, without money ... But we, with all the exiled and remaining sufferers, in the tenderness of our hearts, appealed to the merciful God about salvation dear Fatherland.
"The Lord is my helper, and I will not be afraid of what man does to me."
(Fragments of the book are printed according to the text prepared by Y. Rassulin for the Blago publishing house in 2000)
Vyrubova Anna Alexandrovna (Anya, Big Baby, Disabled, Cow, Cow), 1884-1964, nee Taneeva, maid of honor, closest and most devoted friend of the Tsarina (1904-1918), ardent admirer of Grigory Rasputin, miraculously escaped death in Russia, She was tonsured as a nun abroad and buried in Helsinki.
Vyrubova (Taneeva) Anna Alexandrovna (1884-1964), daughter of the head of His Imperial Majesty's Own Chancellery A.S. Taneyev. Maid of honor (since 1904). Since 1903, the maid of honor of Empress Alexandra Feodorovna. In the papers surrounding Grigory Rasputin, she appears under the nickname "Annushka".
Since 1907, she was married to senior lieutenant A. V. Vyrubov, and soon divorced. Close friend of Alexandra Feodorovna. An ardent admirer of Rasputin, who was an intermediary between him and the royal family. During the First World War, with the money received as compensation for an injury resulting from a railway accident, she organized a military hospital in Tsarskoe Selo, where she worked as a nurse along with the Empress and her daughters. After the February Revolution, she was arrested; in March - June 1917 she was imprisoned in the Peter and Paul Fortress, then in Sveaborg. She was accused of influencing politics and having intimate relations with Rasputin. She was subjected to a special medical examination by the Extraordinary Investigation Commission (ChSK), which established Vyrubova's virginity. Released at the request of the Petrograd Soviet. For some time she lived freely in Petrograd, repeatedly met with M. Gorky; tried to organize the rescue of the royal family. After a new arrest in October 1918, she fled and hid in Petrograd. In 1920 she illegally left for Finland. She took monastic vows at the Valaam Monastery. She lived in the world as a secret nun. Died in Finland.
History carried the name of Anna Vyrubova through the years. The memory of her was preserved not only because she was close to the imperial family (Anna was the maid of honor of Empress Alexandra Feodorovna), but also because her life was an example of selfless service to the fatherland and help to the suffering. This woman went through terrible torment, managed to avoid execution, gave all her money to charity, and at the end of her days devoted herself to religious service.
Empress Alexandra Feodorovna and Anna Alexandrovna (left)
The story of Anna Vyrubova is incredible, it seems that so many trials cannot befall one person. In her youth, she graduated from the courses of sisters of mercy and, together with the Empress, helped the wounded in the hospital at the beginning of the First World War. They, like everyone else, did hard work, helped the wounded, and were on duty during operations.
Portrait of Anna Vyrubova
After the execution of the imperial family, Vyrubova had a difficult time: the Bolsheviks put her in custody. As a conclusion, they chose cells with prostitutes or recidivists, where she had a very hard time. Anna also got it from the soldiers, they were ready to profit from her jewelry (although the maid of honor had only a chain with a cross and a few simple rings), they mocked and beat her in every possible way. Anna went to prison five times and each time she miraculously managed to free herself.
Anna Vyrubova walking in a wheelchair with Grand Duchess Olga Nikolaevna, 1915-1916.
Death, it seemed, was following Anna Vyrubova on the heels: in the last conclusion, she was sentenced to death. The torturers wanted to humiliate the woman as much as possible and sent her on foot to the place of execution, accompanied by only one guard. It is still difficult to understand how the exhausted woman managed to escape from this soldier. Lost in the crowd, she, as if by the will of providence, met someone she knew, the man gave her money in gratitude for her bright heart and disappeared. With this money, Anna was able to hire a cab and get to her friends, so that after many months she would hide in the attics from her pursuers.
Empress Alexandra Feodorovna, her daughters Olga, Tatyana and Anna Alexandrovna (left) - sisters of mercy
Charity has always been Anna's real vocation: back in 1915, she opened a hospital for the rehabilitation of the wounded in the war. The money for this was found due to an accident: having got into an accident on a train, Anna received severe injuries, she herself remained disabled. She gave the entire amount (80 thousand rubles!) of the paid insurance policy for the construction of a hospital, and the emperor donated another 20 thousand. After spending half a year chained to a bed, Anna realized very well how important it is to give disabled people the opportunity to feel needed again, to learn a trade that would help them occupy their free time and bring a minimal income.
Anna Vyrubova
Having escaped from prison, Anna wandered for a long time until she decided to become a nun. She took the tonsure on Valaam and lived a calm and blessed life. She passed away in 1964 and was buried in Helsinki.
Alexandra Feodorovna highly appreciated the merits of the maid of honor, calling her in her letters "her dear martyr."
