Recruitment agency Kelly Services interviewed three thousand applicants on the topic: "the optimal ratio of work and personal life." It turned out that for 56% - work is a priority, a third of the respondents are ready to divide their time equally between these areas, and only 4.5% pay more attention to their personal lives. Managers of Novosibirsk companies strive for harmony, but they do not always achieve it.

Irina Shmakova
Development Director of the Siberian Coaching Center "Lirtana"
Reading and walking are two of my favorite activities. However, professional activity sometimes takes all the time, and there is nothing left for anything else. To sacrifice means to lose something in favor of another. But since I choose this mode consciously, having determined the goals that I strive to achieve, and I do it with pleasure, then, in fact, I do not sacrifice anything. My own profession helps me to solve the problem of harmonious combination of all spheres of life.

Alexander Gelfand
co-owner of Galsika
Work takes me a lot of time. Before, when I was young and demanding of myself, for the sake of work, I could cancel a planned vacation. Priorities are changing, now I would rather refuse a new order than a vacation. Except, of course, if a contract is signed, which must be fulfilled on time. I think that you won’t earn all the money, and your health and personal life are more important. And if you work all the time, then when will you replenish your strength?

Sergey Yaroslavtsev
director of the National Business Preservation Agency
I really like the phrase of Max Schleming (a popular boxer in Germany), who is 90 years old today, but he comes to the office of his company every day for exactly three hours: “If a problem cannot be solved in three hours, then it is not solvable at all.” If I sacrifice personal time, it is not for the sake of the work itself, but for the sake of its results. You know how in the morning I want to destroy the alarm clock, but every day I sacrifice this desire and go to work.

General Director of CJSC "Sibirskaya"
Work takes up a lot of time in my life, so why sacrifice something else for it? I learned to combine work and personal life without prejudice to both areas, because any problems in the family are reflected in work and vice versa. Both are important, otherwise... The sad experience of acquaintances shows that families are falling apart due to excessive zeal for work and workaholism. Although, I confess, work steals part of my free time.

Boris Kovtun
Pelican Marketing Director
There are periods when I am ready to go headlong into work for weeks if it is interesting or extremely important. However, I never faced a choice: work or personal life. Fortunately, these two aspects of my life are in harmony and do not interfere, but, on the contrary, complement one another. I am sure that success in business and a fulfilling personal life are quite compatible concepts. But I don’t perceive the verb “sacrifice”, it smells of hopelessness.

Alexander Sapozhnikov
Director of East-Motors Siberia
Work is a very important part of my life for me. This is not only material well-being, but also the process of self-realization. And, of course, it turns out that for her sake you sacrifice almost all your free time, including calendar days off. But given that I like what I do, then, in fact, there are no victims, on the contrary, success in work creates a positive attitude for other areas of life. Another thing is, if you do not love your job, it will definitely affect your loved ones.

Evgeniya Burmistrova
ASIA Consulting Group consultant
For me, work is my favorite thing, to which I devote a lot of time with pleasure, and “sacrifice” has nothing to do with it. Of course, an imbalance of various aspects of life is possible. I try to pay enough attention to my child, personal life, health (sports), friends and work. In different periods of time, I have to shift the emphasis, but in general I try to keep a balance.

What are you willing to sacrifice for your loved one?
Have you ever thought about what you are willing to sacrifice for the people you love?
And how often do you sacrifice yourself for them and their happiness, health and safety?
What is self-sacrifice for you and in what situations is it worth sacrificing yourself?
Are you ready to sacrifice your interests?
If for him happiness is the absence of you around, and you cannot live without him, what will you do?

How do you feel about this opinion that these sacrifices are by no means for the sake of someone else?
All people are selfish. And even making a sacrifice on our part, we expect a response, and the sooner the better. And when we don’t get what we want, we begin to sort things out, to do stupid and awkward things.
So the question is "What are you willing to sacrifice?" Yes, even the whole world, but if this sacrifice goes unnoticed, then what is the point in it? right? Think of yourself as an egoist.

Depending on what the donation goes to... I am ready to give almost my life if I am sure that this sacrifice is necessary.

I am ready to sacrifice almost everything for the sake of a loved one, but is it necessary, this sacrifice? Unfortunately, I don’t remember which of the philosophers of the distant past said: “true love does not need sacrifices.”

many letters of good reasoning

Donate??? - probably all those that I have. Why exactly what I have??? Yes, because sacrificing something else (as a vivid example of the interests of other people) in order to achieve one's goal is selfishness. Although how to look at it ... in his time, Machiavelli (like he) wrote in "The Sovereign" that the end justifies any means ... (it all depends on the specific situation)
Speaking about the fact that we sacrifice in order to get something - yes, this is pure soul egoism expressed in sacrificing less for the sake of getting more. Selfishness is inherent in people, and even against the backdrop of the best intentions, the thought of obtaining any "beneficial consequences" from their victim can slip through. It's all about what motive drives a person or what goal he wants to achieve: to make a loved one happy completely selflessly and without demanding something from him in return, or to get something from him or achieve something ... I honestly admit that a couple of times I also had such a selfish goal against the background - well, no one is perfect. Although when such "impulses" arise, I still try to put the first motive in front of me. Self-sacrifice - on the one hand, it is quite noble, on the other hand, there are many "buts" here. This is still an extreme measure, although most likely I'm wrong. It is most likely that you need to sacrifice yourself in order to save the life of your loved one. I think this person is unlikely to appreciate if you sacrifice yourself if the goal could be achieved in another way. So you will first of all hurt (weakly said) your loved one. Everyone has their own meaning in the sacrifice and completely depends on the motives, the goals of the act: as you say, "if this sacrifice goes unnoticed, then the meaning is in it?" - answer: depending on what the person wanted to receive. If you wanted to make your beloved happy, then perhaps the result was achieved even if this person did not appreciate your deed, but for that you are sure that you did everything possible and impossible for this person. If you get something in return, then the world is wasted.
Well, the hardest question: "If for him happiness is the absence of you around, and you cannot live without him - what will you do?" I’ll probably leave, not even probably, but I’ll leave ... Although I won’t last long ...

That's probably all...

I left everything and everyone ... I gave up my past life. She's worth it. Worth more. For me, she is priceless. All this is very difficult, but I cannot live without this person. And it doesn't matter if these victims notice... I just want to be with her. Be to the last. Ready to do whatever it takes. Until the last drop. No, I am not a slave. It just has its place.

Uh-huh - this is not slavery - this is the desire to make your loved one happy - of course, if the loved one wants it.

for my girlfriend...
I think everything possible...
love her very much...
If you need it, I think it will be possible to go to any lengths for her ...

In my opinion, happiness is not in giving something, but in receiving in return. Another issue is that you cannot receive without sharing. We share our emotions, our love, warmth with people close to us, and in return we receive the same emotions multiplied by three: with our family, with friends, we ourselves create moments that make us happy. We give our strength to achieve our goal, but in the end we get much more. But sometimes it seems that I could be happy if everything in my life went differently, if I made a different choice. And the thought that nothing can be changed, because the time machine has not yet been invented, makes me think: in order to return and change everything, I am ready to give a lot of what I have now. To refuse people who appeared in my life in connection with the wrong, as it seems, choice, from a certain, already achieved stage of success. But we can regret as much as we like, we still can’t turn back time, and therefore we need to be able to find happiness in moments, in separate moments, in the process of this emotional exchange with loved ones, in the process of creating happy memories, in the process of working on ourselves .

I'm ready to give up my bad habits. You get used to some things, and especially harmful ones, and over time it seems to you that you cannot do without them, you will feel bad without them. In fact, by getting rid of bad habits (malnutrition, smoking, alcohol, waking up late, my favorite aggression, etc.), you seem to make room in your life for something very good. And then life becomes easier, and accordingly - happier.

Ready to sacrifice a lot: time, money, sleep. But definitely not everyone, although I want to be joyful and not think about anything. The fact is that happiness, for which the exact price is known, usually turns out to be short-lived, and truly valuable, long-term happiness is earned by efforts, and often we do not know how many of them. Therefore, one has to constantly put aside funds, forces, time in a piggy bank called “happiness”.

An intriguing question for modern man. Many are ready to give up everything: decency, public opinion, the convenience of others, in order to ensure their own happiness. However, as life experience teaches us, you will not go far with such happiness. When you do the opposite, seemingly infringing on your comfort a little, you give, share something of your own with another person, then this is what gives rise to the fullness of joy, which can be called true happiness. Be it love, friendship or just help. And such happiness can be lived!

Happiness for me is finding wholeness and freedom through it. This is possible only in the mutual movement of man and God, who is this freedom. In general, the matter remains only with the person, because God has already done everything that he could and expects a step from us. Therefore, I will answer the question, perhaps too vaguely. Neither money, nor time, nor social status, even life can become the price of happiness by themselves. I would give just one step, and that step would start a path where everything else would fall into place.

What am I willing to sacrifice to be happy? I'm not ready to sacrifice others. I can’t and don’t want to go over people’s heads and step over people for my own happiness. In addition, this, as you know, does not bring happiness.

I don’t know how “ready” I am, but I understand that sometimes for the sake of happiness you have to sacrifice something of your own, give up something, part with something. Sometimes, for example, you need to sacrifice comfort, prosperity, alignment and orderliness of life and life. I recently moved to another country, to France, and I had to leave everything I had in Russia. I left work, left an empty apartment in St. Petersburg. I don’t have a permanent job here yet (and it’s unlikely that one will appear in the next year or two), I study at a theological institute and live in a hostel, I don’t have anything of my own here. I have holes in my shoes and a torn backpack. I have an old jacket, which in Russia I would have taken to the trash a long time ago. I can't buy new clothes yet: my earnings in October amounted to 150 euros (a negligible amount for a country where the minimum wage is 1450 euros and the average is 2500 euros). My move from Russia happened a year earlier than I had planned. I was in every way not ready to quickly break loose and leave. Therefore, I had to rather abruptly give up everything that I had in Russia. It wasn't very easy. But, at the same time, it was very heartfelt. And finally, now I feel very happy. And I perceive material difficulties and disorder as an opportunity given to me to enter into the experience of life in need. It will be useful for a future priest :) The most important thing is that I feel in my place, “at ease”. You can really give a lot for this.

Ekaterina Grigoroshchuk, 22 years old, designer

You have to sacrifice your time, your energy, make the right choices, prioritize more over less every day. What is happiness - this is love, I guess. It turns out that you cannot use happiness alone, it, like love, should be extended to someone else, only then it will be really tangible. Work not only within yourself, but also outside. It is necessary to give up what builds a wall between a person and happiness - anger and resentment, excuses, stubbornness, laziness, negativity, envy, greed, insecurity in people. You need to learn to live here and now, not the past and not thoughts about the future, so as not to miss the present moment.

It’s hard to imagine yourself happy just because of something of your own - a salary, a new bag or dress, coffee on Saturday morning or because you finally got enough sleep :) You pay for this with money mostly, things are pleasant, but this is happiness of the soul, not deep. For me, happiness is primarily a spiritual state. It is stronger and more weighty. And it is connected with doing good deeds and helping relatives and neighbors. You pay for this not with money, but with time and effort. For example, sometimes you turn down a show to take evening lessons with your niece, or give up your energy to go to meet a friend in need of support. This is the price of my happiness.

For me, this is a difficult question. If happiness is considered as the highest value, then you can give anything for the sake of guaranteed happiness. The difficulty is that, it seems, for me, happiness is far from being an absolute, and even in the first approximation it is not. I'm quite content to be unhappy. I want to live not to satisfy my ego, but for the sake of some higher idea, perhaps irrational. To suffer and die for her.

I think happiness is a matter of choice. A person largely determines whether he will live happily or not. If the choice is made by faith, then I think there are more chances for subjective happiness. Yes, it's subjective. Because every person has their own path. For one, happiness is social status and financial well-being, for another - realization in creativity, for the third - a family. Probably, I could pay for happiness with a more modest life, sacrifice the opportunity to join in its diversity. And also love, which would be born in response to the experience of happiness.

Prepared by Elizaveta Ivanchina

I accidentally stumbled upon a worthy material on a website for men, where its creators call for the following: “Do you want your relationship with women to improve? Begin with yourself. Understand yourself. Your desires. Your inner world. And the meeting won't keep you waiting."

In addition to this, I recall last year's interview with an Italian who was shown on euronews. Seems to be the initiator of some kind of progressive movement. “The concept of masculinity must change in the minds of men,” he said. The ostentatious masculinity, expressed in impregnability to the feelings and emotions of the man himself, is in no way proof of his inviolability and invulnerability ... "

As you can see, to understand that in order for the one who bestows love and happiness to come into our lives, we need to start with ourselves - both of them come. Both women and men.

The question is this. What needs to be changed in yourself so that distant happiness smiles and turns into a beautiful Princess. Or the brave Tsarevich.

You definitely won't change yourself. How many times, faced in a critical situation with your next complex, on which you worked and worked, you were disappointedly convinced that nothing changes in me! ..

Let's think. Everything was wonderful in Vasilisa the Beautiful. And she knew how to cook, and sew, and she was good-looking. She even married the prince in the form of a frog. They burned her skin, and she would live happily without this hated witchcraft appearance.

But why not? Why did she turn into a swan and fly away?

It turned out that in order to become truly free from evil spells, one has to go a long way. And at the end of this path to meet face to face with the immortal Koshchei. With the fact that he will die only after the victim is given.

This sacrifice is kept in the most expensive and impregnable place. You still have to get to it. “... at the end of the needle, that needle is in the egg, then the egg is in the duck, that duck is in the hare, that hare is in the chest, and the chest stands on a tall oak, and that Koschey tree protects like its own eye.”

You probably guessed that the metaphor of burning the skin is that each of us, making significant changes in our lives, whether it be enrolling in school, a new job, a new project, a business, a relationship, sheds a piece of the past. And enters a new life.

But if there is no understanding in this “new” that you are giving a certain price for it, there is no point in burning the skin. Just take and burn the skin means almost nothing.

No matter how scary it is to admit and see, you can lose both calmness and finances, and face complete defenselessness. Both social and physical.

But if you see - in the name of what the head lay on the chopping block, the goal is clearly indicated on the horizon. You go to her. And you know exactly - for what and for what.

The prince in a fairy tale for a woman is her potential, her activity.

With whom she, realizing herself in creativity, will come to a happy end and, throwing off her witchcraft spells, she will meet with the Tsarevich, in whose courage she was convinced not in words, but in deeds.

Are you missing recognition? Please start creating and using your creative talents. And don't say you don't have them. Your inner Kashchei, skinny and weak, who seems immortal, assures you of this.

The princess in a fairy tale for a man is his sensual part, which he accepts in himself, having decided to search for the true call of his soul. When a man does not believe his feelings, clinging to the usual and safer logic, then the Princess can be lost.

You will have to embark on a long and distant journey, groping for the right path to your feelings through instincts. Which appear in fairy tales in the form of animals - a swan, a bear, a hare, a fish, a duck.

And, of course, to meet with a distorted maternal image, which appears in a fairy tale in the form of Baba Yaga, the Bone Leg.Even here the tale gives an obvious answer. If you know how to negotiate with the magical part of the mother, "the hut will turn its back to the forest, and the front to the hero." And Baba Yaga will tell the main secret - where to find Koshchei's death. Weak, not potential, devoid of feelings. Through the acceptance of his sensual part, an understanding of women also comes to a man.

Right now, ask yourself - what valuable are you ready to sacrifice in yourself so that global changes come into your life? What are you willing to give up for the sake of great and true love?

Ask yourself this question as often as possible. And watch - is this really the purpose of your life?

@Saida Mavlan

The purpose of my mailing list with weekly letters is to give you valuable information, thanks to which you will begin to walk towards your happy destiny in small, sedate steps. Only in letters, not published on the blog.
My long-term connection with readers has taught me to give more, share more and build positive relationships. Write your name and address in the subscription form - and see you soon! :)

Someone said that the first day of the new year is like "Monday" with a capital letter. He inspires many to make the decision to live in a new way. Especially those who put things off until tomorrow. The irony of fate lies in the fact that it is not so important for the latter to succeed in reality or not.

How do you move forward to new achievements? What important factor can interfere with this?

It so happened that in December they usually sum up the results of the outgoing year in order to learn lessons and next year, starting from January, start changing or improving everything. During this period, people comprehend mistakes, set new goals, and define tasks.

It is a good habit to take time to pray and reflect, to understand what to strive for and how to continue to live. Pauses are necessary for such purposes. Remember what Jeremiah wrote? "Thus says the Lord: stand in your ways and look, and ask for the ancient ways, where is the good way, and walk in it, and you will find rest for your souls"(Jer. 6:16).

Purposefulness is an important character trait that has always been inherent in people who have achieved great results.

Noah saw the ark before he built it. Moses received a vision from God in advance of what the tabernacle should be like. The apostle Paul said of himself: "Brethren, I do not consider myself to have reached it; but only, forgetting what is behind and stretching forward, I strive towards the goal, towards the honor of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus"(Phil. 3:13,14).

Of course, people, both those who knew God and those who did not believe in Him, were striving for the goal. The goal gives meaning to our life, determines its direction, pushes us to go forward.

Another thing is that at the end of life a person may find that some goals were empty and futile. "For what does it profit a man if he gains the whole world and loses his soul"(Matthew 16:26).

Therefore, when determining what to strive for, it is best to plan and look to the future not through the prism of pride or resentment, carnal ambition or vanity, but in a humble desire to do the will of God.

Believe me, this will not detract from the significance of possible achievements. On the contrary, a humble desire to move forward, glorifying God in your life, family and work, will help you look forward soberly. It is better and easier to reach heights with God than alone, without Him.

What is the difference between an empty dream and a goal? The goal, unlike the fruits of an idle fantasy, gradually transforms into tasks, decision-making, actions, and, ultimately, leads to results.

I once read about four features that distinguish a goal from a mere desire. Here they are:

1) The goal should be higher than what we have today. You should not plan for a year to save what you have. He who does not collect, squanders! Strive for something new and unattained.

2) The goal must be specific. See how abstract and concrete desires differ: "I want to read more of the Bible in the new year" and "I plan to read the whole Bible in a year, reading 3 chapters a day."

"I strive, I would like to pray more" and "I plan to pray at least 30 minutes a day."

"This year I intend to learn a foreign language" or "I want to learn 2000 new words and pass a certain test (for example TOEFL in English)."

3) The goal should be high but realistic. One preacher used to say, "Don't ask God for a five-story cake when you haven't received a raisin bun by faith from Him." There is something in this phrase!

Indeed, if a person who has never been involved in sports decides that in six months he will run a marathon distance (42 km) and lift a barbell of 200 kilograms, then at best he will be disappointed, and at worst he will undermine his health. The Lord gave the descendants of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob to master the land given to them "little by little"(Deut. 7:22).

4) The goal must be written down. It is too likely to forget the things that God has put in your heart. That is why, once it was said to the prophet Habakkuk: "And the Lord answered me and said: write down the vision and draw it clearly on the tablets, so that the reader can easily read, for the vision still refers to a certain time and speaks of the end and will not deceive; and even if it is slow, wait for it, for it will certainly come true, won't cancel..."(Hab. 2:2,3).

The points are pretty relevant and look good, don't they? But writing down on paper what to strive for and realizing what has been written down are two different things. Sometimes what is recorded remains an unfulfilled dream. Why?

Let's leave aside those cases when circumstances were beyond our capabilities and harshly made their own adjustments to the plans. In such cases, we have to adapt to new living conditions.

There is one reason that many people forget: when setting goals, you should always determine what you are willing to sacrifice in order to achieve them.

Human life is short. Time flies. I want to do a lot: do, see, read, go somewhere, talk to someone. And resources are limited: time, strength, years of life are not unlimited. As a result, we are faced with an internal problem - our desires far exceed our capabilities. Trying to do everything does not lead to anything good - in pursuit of two hares, you will not catch one.

There is only one way out: you have to sacrifice something. Refuse from some business or secondary plans, purchases or communication. Some people need less time to sit at the TV or social networks, others - to sacrifice empty chatter on the phone or idle pastime.

It is not difficult to give up what is disgusting and uninteresting. But it is not always easy to leave the good for the better, the interesting for the necessary, the pleasant for the important. This is the essence of sacrifice, and the lack of willingness to sacrifice can interfere with the achievement of goals and the fulfillment of God's will.

What is easy for some is hard for others. Do you remember the old joke about the chicken offering a pair of pigs to feed a passing traveler scrambled eggs and ham?

If for you this is an offering, then for me it is a sacrifice! - answered the pig to the stick.

There is also a biblical example. A rich young man asked Jesus how to inherit eternal life. He asked not about good behavior or earthly success, but about eternal life - this is important! He understood that above earthly values ​​there are heavenly values.

But in the heart of that guy there was a strong attachment to wealth, and when Jesus suggested that he sell his property and distribute it to the poor, he did not even want to admit such a thought, he was sad and left.

The young man would not become impoverished, believe me. Jesus told his disciples a little later in the same chapter: "... there is no one who would leave a house, or parents, or brothers, or sisters, or a wife, or children for the Kingdom of God, and would not receive much more in this time and in the age to come, eternal life"(Luke 18:29,30)

For the young man, perhaps, this was a test similar to the one that Abraham passed when he was ready to sacrifice his beloved son Isaac. But he behaved differently. He wanted to achieve eternal life, but he did not want to sacrifice anything. As a result, he simply LEFT FROM CHRIST.

To reach us, the Lord also made a sacrifice! He gave His life and took on our sins to save everyone. "He, being in the form of God, did not consider it robbery to be equal with God; but he made himself of no reputation, taking the form of a servant, being made in the likeness of men, and becoming in appearance like a man; he humbled himself, being obedient even unto death, even the death of the cross. Him and gave Him the name above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven, on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father."(Phil.2:6-11)

Without wanting to sacrifice anything in life - neither pleasures, nor time, nor strength - no great goals can be achieved, even if God told you about them. Keep this in mind when planning! As you define the goals you want to achieve, plan for what you are willing to give up in order to achieve more.