Sociability, or the ability to communicate with people, means much more in our life than it might seem at first glance. The ability to make contacts is the key to success in any business that is connected with other people, and almost everyone is like that: neither personal nor official life proceeds in complete solitude. So, the ability to communicate is essential. How are you doing in this regard?
Answer the questions: "yes", "no", "sometimes".
1. This evening you will have a regular business meeting. Can you say that waiting for her unsettles you for the whole day?
2. You need to see a specialist doctor, but you keep postponing seeing a doctor until it becomes completely unbearable.
3. Does the assignment to make a report or presentation at any meeting, seminar, etc. cause you a feeling of panic or irritation?
4. There is an opportunity or need to go on a business trip to a city where you have never been. Will you try your best to avoid this trip?
5. Do you enjoy sharing your inner feelings with other people?
6. Does it make you nervous when a stranger calls you on the street to find out the time, the way?
7. Are you sure that there is an eternal problem of "fathers and sons", that it is difficult, sometimes impossible for people of different generations to truly understand each other?
8. Is it difficult for you to remind friends who borrowed money from you about the need to repay debts if the deadline has long passed?
9. In a cafe or bar, you were served an obviously inedible dish of poor quality. Will you keep silent, resentfully pushing the plate away?
10. When you are alone with a stranger, will you remain silent and also get annoyed if he starts the conversation first?
11. A long line will bring anyone to a white heat. Do you prefer to change your plans and intentions better than to stand behind and languish in a long wait?
12. Does the need to take part in the work of any group or commission to resolve difficult, conflict situations scare you?
13. Do you ignore outside opinions about literature, cinema, painting, relying entirely on your own, individual opinion on these issues?
14. If you happen to hear an incorrect judgment on a matter well known to you, would you prefer to remain silent and not engage in polemics?
15. Does someone's request to help you sort out this or that professional issue, personal problem cause you annoyance?
16. Do you prefer to express your opinions, assessments, point of view in writing rather than orally?
Calculation of test results:
For each “yes” answer, give yourself 2 points.
For each answer "sometimes" - 1 point.
For each "no" answer - 0.
Add up the scores of your answers, calculate the total.
30-32 points
Sociability is not your forte, and this is a disaster, because mainly you yourself suffer from it. But your relatives, friends, colleagues also have a hard time: your thoughts have to guess, which is fraught with disagreements, you can’t get a direct conversation from you, isolation alienates people from you, it’s hard to rely on you when it comes to teamwork. Try to control yourself and learn to communicate: perhaps you should start with a visit to a psychologist in your case.
25-29 points
You are rather closed, taciturn, prefer loneliness, therefore, it is very likely that you have few friends. The need for a new job or a new acquaintance horrifies you, at least for a long time unbalances you. You know this feature of your own character, sometimes you are angry with yourself. In vain! Pay attention: you become more sociable when you are really passionate about something. This is where you should look for the key to changing some of your character traits.
19-24 points
You are sociable to a certain extent and feel relatively confident in unfamiliar surroundings. New problems don't make you feel panicky. And yet, with new people, you do not converge easily, with an eye, make new acquaintances with difficulty, try not to support disputes and discussions. Your statements are often full of completely unfounded sarcasm and irony - this is a defense mechanism that forms an additional distance, and an astute interlocutor will always understand this. What about impenetrable? But everything is fixable and not so difficult: try to restrain spontaneous impulses of skepticism, and communication will improve.
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14-18 points
Communication is normal. You willingly listen to an interesting interlocutor, are able to delve into his arguments, show patience in communicating with others, defend your point of view without passion and becoming personal, you are inquisitive and know how to find the right tone in communication. Meetings with new people mobilize you, but do not scare you, you can equally calmly turn to a stranger, and respond to his appeal to you. However, you are most likely not a fan of noisy companies with little-known participants. Cheeky behavior and verbosity can irritate you.
9-13 points
You are inquisitive to the point of curiosity, sometimes beyond measure. You like to speak out on a variety of issues, even in cases where no one was interested in your opinion. This can irritate those around you. You willingly make new acquaintances, like to be in the center of attention, do not refuse requests to anyone, even if you are not able to fulfill them. Surely you are quick-tempered, but quickly move away. You lack concentration, patience and courage when faced with really serious problems - in such cases, the temptation to drown the solution in words is too great, since you do not need eloquence. If you recognize this character trait as your problem, you will soon be able to accustom yourself not to back down in the face of difficulties and not to “blab” difficult but important issues.
4-8 points
A guy shirt is about you, even if you are not a guy at all. You are incredibly sociable, familiar with everyone, aware of everything. You like to take part in general disputes and discussions, although serious topics cause you more blues and even migraines. You willingly speak out on any issue, even if you have the most superficial idea about it - you open your mouth before you realize to think about the issue of your own competence. Everywhere you feel like a fish in water, you take on any business, although you don’t always know what you have to do, whether you can do it, whether you can bring it to the end. For this reason, you often find yourself in rather awkward situations, and your bosses and colleagues treat you with some apprehension and doubt. Your song is the slogan: "Shut up, let's be quiet ...". Try to learn to listen as well as think before you speak. A person must be held accountable for his words.
29-12-2017. MashulyaWhat inspiring stories! Thank you for that. I want to share my successes, maybe I'll be lucky and my story will inspire people. I came to mywishbook 2 years ago in total depression. My personal life collapsed, the guy cheated with his girlfriend, the work just made me feel discouraged, the team, salary, clients. I just don't feel like waking up every day. I came here hoping to get my love back. I read a lot of information on the site, I want to say here so much different information that my head is spinning. There was just an announcement for a marathon "changing loneliness for love." I wanted to return the former, so I had to go there. The ex came back, came back to me right at the very end of the marathon. But here's the paradox, I have already become different, looked at myself with different eyes and realized that I don't need him. I love myself and do not want to be with a traitor, a traitor. With someone who did not appreciate me and did not really love me. Thank you Svetlana for helping me understand this. He ran after me for a very long time, but I decided not to step on this rake anymore. After this marathon, I decided to go to the "New Me", and it was there that a whole discovery happened for me. I work at a job I hate. This is not mine, this is a place imposed on me by my relatives, but what do I really love? And I really loved to draw both at school and at the institute, but for some reason I haven’t been doing this for a long time. I didn’t have time to think about it properly, when I came across an ad on social networks about an illustrators training course. It was the most important decision I ever made, the best decision of my entire life. Now this is my profession, which I adore. And just recently, the unreal happened, my dream came true, two very cool European brands signed a contract with me. Now my illustrations will be on stylish, beautiful things. I'm so happy! In my personal life, everything is also very good, already this year I met a wonderful man, he, like me, is a creative person, sews beautiful bags, belts, jackets, wallets and various bracelets, chokers. All from genuine leather. And sometimes we make a limited collection of leather goods with my painting. I draw my paintings and illustrations. He is my soul mate, very caring, loyal and reliable. And our common cause, our common desires, interests, make our union even stronger and happier. I am very grateful to your site, to you Svetlana and Ekaterina, I love you very much. You helped me completely change my life, listen to my heart, my soul, love myself. The most important thing in life is to believe in yourself, hear yourself and love yourself, accept yourself, do what you love, live the way your soul wants, and not the way everyone around wants. Happy New Year, may everything you do for others bring happiness, love and health to your home. May mywishbook prosper and bring happiness to people all over the world. I wish you great health and always get joy from your work, well, may your dreams come true.
Marathon "I change loneliness for love" >>
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29-04-2019. Ionia
Thank you so much for a great marathon! I managed to get up earlier only for the first 1.5 weeks. Then the child got sick, and everything went topsy-turvy) But the most important thing is that I finally appreciated the buzz of morning loneliness, and I plan to continue this experience. It is a pity that it was not possible to participate in online broadcasts due to the very large time difference. Although a couple of times there was such an opportunity, and in my afternoon I joined and relaxed with everyone.
The tips are just great. She wrote it down in a notebook, already ordered something from iHerb, added brushes and another thermos for oats to the list of next purchases, taught the children exercises from Tibetan massage. I have not yet decided on the energy practice, but I really want to.
I added the recipes to my piggy bank, I have already tried something.
After your broadcasts, it began to seem that we had known each other for a long time, and when I saw your last name in gratitude for one wonderful book, I was absolutely sincerely happy about this meeting)
Thank you again, and see you on new marathons!
Enchanting Morning Power + Detox Lite >>
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12-09-2018. Lily (from thank you page)
Good night everybody. I want to share a very important event in my life. I had serious health problems. There was a problem with the spine and an operation was prescribed, the second significant health problem is infertility. I have been on this site for a whole year, this year I have completed two marathons - "new life" and "fabulous life". There were very strong meditations for health, and the study of the blocks did its big job. A month and a half later, a specialist was found who helped me solve the problem with the spine and I managed to avoid surgery, now I feel great and there is no such terrible picture on the MRI. The doctors are shocked. Well, the most important news for me - I'm pregnant! And my gynecologist is also in shock). Girls, low bow to you. Before meeting you, I didn’t really live, I had very severe back pain and infertility, like a sentence. I didn't want to live... But I got here and began to change. If I had been told earlier that in order to recover and get pregnant I need to reprogram my head, I would have twisted my finger at my temple, but now I know that everything depends on us. I wish you all health, and for those who dream of children, may you succeed and have a healthy baby! All good. (
How sociable are you and is it easy for you to get along with your colleagues? The following test will help you figure it out. You will also find out what manner of communication with colleagues is typical for you? Answer the questions "Yes", "No", or "Sometimes".
1. You have a business meeting scheduled for tomorrow. Does her anticipation unsettle you?
2. Do you often put off going to the doctor until you get really sick?
3. Do you feel embarrassed and dissatisfied when you are asked to make a presentation at a meeting?
4. You are offered to go on a business trip to another city. Will you try to avoid this business trip?
5. Do you like to share your experiences with someone?
6. Are you annoyed when people on the street ask you to show the way, tell you the time?
7. Do you think it is difficult for people of different generations to understand each other?
8. Are you embarrassed to remind a friend that he borrowed money from you a few months ago?
9. You were served a low-quality meal in a restaurant. Will you keep silent, only angrily pushing the plate away?
10. When you are alone with a stranger, will you be the first to enter into a conversation and will you be burdened if he speaks first?
11. If there is a long line at the store or cinema box office, would you rather abandon your intention than stand at the back of the line and languish in anticipation?
12. Are you afraid to act as part of any commission to review conflict situations?
13. Do you have your own criteria for evaluating works of art, literature?
14. If you hear an erroneous point of view on any issue expressed in a conversation by completely strangers, would you prefer to remain silent and not enter into an argument?
15. Do you feel annoyed and irritated when asked to help sort out some official issue?
16. Are you more willing to express your point of view in writing than orally?
And now let's summarize: for each answer "Yes" give yourself 2 points, "Sometimes" - 1 point, "No" - 0 points. Now count up.
If you scored from 0 to 3 points - your sociability is almost painful. You like to talk, are very verbose, often "poking your nose" into other people's business. Intervene in disputes on issues in which you are completely incompetent. You often become the cause of conflicts, and you like it. You are very quick-tempered, touchy. It is quite difficult to communicate with you, because you are used to considering your own opinion as the ultimate truth.
If you scored from 4 to 8 points, you can be called a “shirt-guy”. You are always aware of all the cases, all events revolve around you. You like being the center of attention. You like to take part in discussions, but too serious topics make you sad. Sociability is in full swing, but it often turns out that you are too superficial about everything that happens around you.
If you scored from 9 to 13 points - you are a very sociable person, sometimes even beyond measure. You are very talkative, curious, like to express your point of view on any issue, which sometimes causes irritation among others. You are willing to meet new people and make new friends. But long-term contacts tend to bore you.
If you scored from 14 to 18 points - your sociability is within the normal range. You are inquisitive, willingly make contact if the interlocutor is interesting to you. They are quite tolerant of people and defend their point of view without irascibility and cockiness. Go to meetings with strangers without unpleasant experiences.
If you scored from 19 to 24 points, you are quite sociable and feel very confident in an unfamiliar environment. You are not afraid of meeting new people, although you do not always trust first impressions. Change does not scare you, you are optimistic about the future.
If you scored between 25 and 29 points, you have communication problems. You are closed, taciturn, prefer loneliness. And this is the reason why you have so few friends. A job change and the need for new contacts plunge you into shock. You find it difficult to navigate in unfamiliar surroundings. Communication with others takes you out of balance for a long time.
Find out your sociability factor. To do this, it is proposed to answer 16 test questions by V. F. Ryakhovsky. The answer must be unambiguous: “yes”, “no”, “sometimes”.
1. You have an ordinary or business meeting. Does her anticipation unsettle you?
2. Are you postponing a visit to the doctor until it becomes unbearable?
3. Do you feel embarrassed and dissatisfied with the order to make a report, report, information at any conference, meeting or similar event?
4. You are offered to go on a business trip to a city where you have never been. Will you make every effort to avoid this business trip?
5. Do you like to share your experiences with anyone?
6. Do you get annoyed if a stranger on the street turns to you with a request (show the way, tell the time, answer some other question)?
7. Do you believe that there is a problem of "fathers and sons" and that it is difficult for people of different generations to understand each other?
8. Are you embarrassed to remind a friend that he forgot to return 10 rubles to you, which he borrowed a few months ago?
9. In a restaurant or in the dining room, you were served an obviously poor-quality dish. Will you keep silent, only angrily pushing the plate?
10. Once alone with a stranger, you will not enter into a conversation with him and will be burdened if he speaks first. Is it so?
11. You are horrified by any long line, no matter where it is (in a store, library, cinema box office). Would you prefer to give up your intention than to stand behind and languish in anticipation?
12. Are you afraid to participate in any conflict resolution committee?
13. You have your own purely individual assessments of works of literature, art, culture, and you do not accept any other people's opinions on this matter. This is true?
14. Having heard somewhere in the lobby an obviously erroneous point of view on a matter well known to you, would you prefer to remain silent and not enter into an argument?
15. Do you get annoyed when someone asks you to help you sort out a particular service issue or study topic?
16. Are you more willing to express your point of view (opinion, assessment) in writing than orally?
Rate the answers: for each "yes" - 2 points, "sometimes" - 1 point, "no" - 0. Then add up the total number of points.
30-32 points. You are clearly uncommunicative, and this is your misfortune, since you yourself suffer the most from this. But it is not easy for people close to you! You are difficult to rely on in a matter that requires group effort. Try to become more sociable, control yourself.
25-29 points. You are closed, taciturn, prefer loneliness, and therefore you probably have few friends. A new job and the need for new contacts, if it does not plunge you into a panic, then it unbalances you for a long time. You know this feature of your character and are dissatisfied with yourself. But do not limit yourself to such discontent - it is in your power to reverse these character traits. Doesn't it happen that with any strong enthusiasm you suddenly acquire complete sociability? It just takes a shake.
19-24 points. You are sociable to a certain extent and feel quite confident in unfamiliar surroundings. New challenges don't scare you. And yet with new people converge with caution, you are reluctant to participate in disputes and disputes. There is sometimes too much sarcasm in your statements for no reason at all. These shortcomings are correctable.
14-18 points. You have good communication skills. You are inquisitive, willingly listen to an interesting interlocutor, patient enough in dealing with others, defend your point of view without irascibility. Feel free to meet new people. At the same time, do not like noisy companies; extravagant antics and verbosity annoy you.
9-13 points. You are very sociable (sometimes, perhaps even beyond measure). Curious, talkative, like to speak out on various issues, which sometimes irritates others. Willingly meet new people. Love to be the center of attention, do not refuse requests to anyone, although you cannot always fulfill them. It happens, flare up, but quickly move away. What you lack is perseverance, patience and courage when faced with serious problems. If you wish, however, you can force yourself not to back down.
4-8 points. You must be the shirt guy. Sociability beats the key out of you, you are always aware of everything. Like to take part in all discussions, although serious topics can give you migraines and even blues. Willingly take the floor on any issue, even if you have a superficial idea about it. Everywhere you feel at ease. You take on any business, although you can’t always successfully bring it to the end. For this very reason, managers and colleagues treat you with some apprehension and doubt. Consider these facts!
3 points or less. Your communication skills are painful. You are talkative, verbose, interfering in matters that have nothing to do with you. You undertake to judge problems in which you are completely incompetent. Willingly or unwittingly, you are often the cause of all sorts of conflicts in your environment. Quick-tempered, touchy, often biased. Serious work is not for you. People - and at work, and at home, and generally everywhere - it's hard with you. Yes, you should work on yourself and your character! First of all: cultivate patience and restraint in yourself, treat people more respectfully, and finally, think about your health - this lifestyle does not go unnoticed.
Everyone can become a sociable and pleasant person, and for this it is absolutely not necessary to have any special “sociability genes”, talent. You need to work on yourself, improve your own level of sociability!
Prepared based on materials: Kan-Kalik, V.A. Grammar of communication / V.A. Kan-Kalik. - M. : Rospedagenstvo, 1995. - 108 p.
When answering questions, put the sign “+” if you agree, and “-” if you disagree.
I find it difficult to imitate other people.
I could probably play the fool to get the attention of others.
I could make a good actor.
Other people sometimes think that I am experiencing something more deeply than it really is.
In a company, I rarely find myself in the spotlight.
In different situations and in dealing with different people, I behave in completely different ways.
7. I can only defend what I deeply believe in. B. To succeed in business and in relationships with people, I try to be what they expect me to see.
9. I can be friendly with people who are not internally you.
10. I am not always what I seem. Sum up the scores using the table:
|
Question number |
Answer option |
|
Key:
0 - 3 points. Your communication level is low. Your behavior is stable, and you do not consider it necessary to change it depending on the situation.
4 - 6 points. You have an average level of communication. You are restrained, reckon with others.
7 - 10 points. You have a high level of communication. You easily enter into any role and are able to anticipate the impression you make on others.
Appendix 13
Test in. F. Ryakhovsky "The level of your sociability"
Rate your answers as follows: "yes" - 2 points, "sometimes" - I point, "no" - 0 points.
I. You have an ordinary business meeting. Does her anticipation unsettle you?
Are you postponing a visit to the doctor until the last moment?
Do you feel embarrassed and dissatisfied when you are asked to make a presentation at a meeting, meeting or conference?
You are offered to go on a business trip to a city where you have never been. Will you make every effort to avoid this business trip?
Do you like to share your experiences with anyone?
Do you get annoyed if a stranger on the street asks you, for example, to show you the way, to tell you the time?
7. Do you believe that there is a problem of "fathers and sons" and that it is difficult for people of different generations to understand each other?
Are you embarrassed to remind a friend that he forgot to return 10 rubles to you, which he borrowed a few months ago?
In a restaurant or canteen, you were served a dish of poor quality. Will you keep silent, only angrily pushing the plate?
Once alone with a stranger, you will not enter into a conversation with him and will be burdened if he speaks first. Is it so?
You are horrified by any long queue, no matter where it is: in a store, library, theater box office. Would you rather give up your intention to avoid standing in line?
Are you afraid to participate in any commission to review conflict situations?
Do you have your own purely individual criteria for evaluating works of literature, and you do not accept any other opinions on this matter?
Having heard somewhere in the lobby an obviously erroneous point of view on a matter well known to you, would you prefer to remain silent without entering into an argument?
Do you get frustrated when someone asks you to help sort out a particular service issue or study topic?
Are you more willing to express your opinion or point of view in writing than orally?
Key:
32-30 points.
You are clearly uncommunicative, and this is your misfortune, since you yourself suffer the most from this. But it is not easy for people close to you. You are difficult to rely on in a matter that requires group effort. Try to become more sociable, control yourself.
29-25 points. You are closed, taciturn, prefer loneliness and therefore you probably have few friends. New work and the need for new contacts, if it does not plunge you into a panic, then for a long time will unbalance you. You know this feature of your character and you are dissatisfied with yourself. But don't limit yourself to your dissatisfaction. It is in your power to reverse these character traits. Doesn't it happen that with some kind of complete enthusiasm, you suddenly acquire complete sociability? It just takes a shake.
24-19 points. You are sociable to a certain extent and feel quite confident in familiar surroundings. New challenges don't scare you. And yet, with new people, you converge with caution, you are reluctant to participate in disputes and disputes. There is sometimes too much sarcasm in your statements for no reason at all. These shortcomings are correctable.
18-14 points. You have good communication skills. You are inquisitive, willingly listen to an interesting interlocutor, patient enough in dealing with others, defend your point of view without irascibility. Without unpleasant experiences, you make contact with new people. At the same time, do not like noisy companies, extravagant antics and verbosity annoy you.
13-9 points. You are very sociable (sometimes, perhaps even unnecessarily). They are curious, talkative, like to speak out on various issues, which sometimes causes irritation of others. Willingly meet new people. Love to be the center of attention, do not refuse requests to anyone, although you can not always fulfill them. It happens, flare up, but quickly move away. What you lack is perseverance, patience and courage when faced with serious problems. If you wish, however, you can force yourself not to back down.
8-4 points. You must be the shirt guy. Sociability beats out of you. You are always aware of everything
affairs. Like to take part in all discussions, although serious topics can give you migraines and blues. Willingly take the floor on any issue, even if you have a superficial idea about it. Everywhere you feel at ease. You take on any business, although you can’t always bring it to the end. For this reason, managers and colleagues treat you with some apprehension and doubt. Consider these facts!
Less than 4 points. Your communication skills are painful. You are talkative, verbose, interfering in matters in which you are completely incompetent. Willingly or unwittingly, you are often the cause of all sorts of conflicts in your environment. Quick-tempered, touchy, often biased. Serious work is not for you. People at work and at home have a hard time with you.. Yes, you need to work on yourself and your character. Cultivate restraint, tolerance, treat people more respectfully, and finally, think about your health - this lifestyle does not go unnoticed.
Annex 14
