Made and sent by Anatoly Kaydalov.
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ANTOSHA CHEKHONTE, ANTON PAVLOVICH CHEKHOV

Reader, treat this book with love and care. You have a beautiful book in front of you. Kind and at the same time evil, cheerful and sad, uniquely bright.
Its author is Anton Pavlovich Chekhov, the glory and pride of our literature, the world-famous master of the short story.
In his youth, he signed his works not with his real name, but with mischievous pseudonyms: “Prose poet”, “Man without a spleen”, but most often “Antosha Chekhonte”. The stories that you will read in this book were written by Chekhov-Chekhonte at the beginning of his career, between 1883 and 1887.
These were difficult years in the life of Russia. On March 1, 1881, the Narodnaya Volya assassinated Tsar Alexander II. And immediately a period of cruel, rude reaction began. The new Tsar Alexander III entrusted the administration of Russia to the gloomy despot Pobedonostsev. “They are afraid to speak loudly, send letters, make acquaintances, read books, they are afraid to help the poor, teach them to read and write,” Chekhov described the eighties in his famous story “The Man in the Case”.
Censorship was rampant. The best of the magazines of the time, Otechestvennye Zapiski, headed by the remarkable satirist Saltykov-Shchedrin, was closed. But empty humorous magazines proliferated. They differed from each other only in their names: "Shards", "Spectator", "Alarm Clock", "Dragonfly". Everyone bypassed serious topics, limited themselves to scoffing. A string of greedy chicks, stupid fashionistas and gamblers-husbands walked through their pages.
And who would have thought? From the pages of these mediocre magazines, a new great talent entered Russian literature. The enemy of the world of vulgarity and servility is Chekhov.
He was born in 1860, was the son of a petty shopkeeper Ros in the provincial town of Taganrog, where puddles did not dry out on the streets, and pigs grunted in the puddles.
The father wanted to make his son a merchant. In his free time from lessons, Antosha had to stand behind the grocery counter, weigh the goods, count the change. Or worse: in the wine cellar that is at the father's shop, serve wine and snacks to tipsy customers.
On Sunday mornings, the whole family would go to church with dignity. The priest was nasal, the candles were smoking, and there was a smell of incense. And my father made me sing in the church choir.
Gymnasium. Teachers-officials, barracks discipline and cramming, cramming. Literature lessons were the only bright spot. They were led by a talented teacher F. P. Pokrovsky. He excitedly revealed to teenagers the world of high ideas and noble feelings of Pushkin, Lermontov, Gogol. Able to instill a love of reading. Chekhov, a high school student, read voraciously.
He had another passion - theater. I had to go to the theater in secret, disguised. High school students were not allowed to attend evening performances. During intermissions, the guards wandered around the foyer, looking closely at the young faces. But still managed to deceive their vigilance. How was it to miss the premiere? The theater excited, beckoned, introduced me to another, more interesting life. The canvas sky seemed more real than the real thing. An event for the young Chekhov was a tour in Taganrog of the “Ostrovsky House”, the Moscow Maly Theater.
When Chekhov was sixteen years old, his father went bankrupt. He fled from creditors to Moscow, and the whole family moved to Moscow after him. Only Antosha Chekhov stayed in Taganrog to finish high school. For three years I rented a room from the new owner of my home. I found out the need, earned money (with lessons, tutoring. I could never go to my relatives for the summer holidays, there was no money.
But here is the gymnasium behind. In 1879, Chekhov entered the medical faculty of Moscow University. He wants to devote his life to the work of a doctor, but the former love of literature flares up in him with renewed vigor. As a first-year student, Chekhov makes his debut in print. In the issue of the Dragonfly magazine dated March 9, 1880, he publishes two short humorous stories. Others followed.
His performance was amazing. He has been featured in dozens of magazines and newspapers. In 1883 alone he wrote more than a hundred stories. On average, a story takes three and a half days. And this is in the fourth year of the most complicated medical faculty! Is it any wonder that Chekhov admitted that, as a rule, he wrote a story in one sitting?
How did he find stories? He was convinced that it was enough to take a closer look at what was happening around, and whole placers of precious material would open before the writer. The stories "The Fugitive" and "Surgery" were inspired by Chekhov from his medical practice. "Burbot" is a description of a genuine incident to which he was a witness.
Once the famous trainer Durov told him about his dog Kashtanka. About how he found her on the street, how he taught her, how he began to perform with her in the circus. Told and forgot. And Chekhov wrote about Kash-
tank story, talented and beautiful, and the story of Kashtanka has become a living fact of art. V. G. Korolenko recalls one of his conversations with Chekhov:
“Do you know how I write my little stories?.. Here.
He looked around the table, picked up the first thing that caught his eye - it turned out to be an ashtray - put it in front of me and said: - If you want, there will be a story tomorrow ... The title is "Ashtray".
And his eyes lit up with joy. It seemed that some vague images, situations, adventures, which had not yet found their forms, but already with a ready humorous mood, were already beginning to swarm over the ashtray ... "
But literary bread was not easy for Chekhov. The editors set strict conditions: the volume of stories should be very small, only two or three pages. How to fit into the damned Procrustean bed? I had to cross out, throw out, reduce. At first, this brought the young writer nothing but suffering. But over time, he mastered the art of a short story, comprehended the laws of this genre, discovered its richest possibilities.
Subscribers to "Shards" or "Alarm Clock" shrugged their hands in bewilderment: it seemed like an ordinary humorous story, and at the same time it was not at all the same as that of other authors. For others, it's just a joke, but Chehoya's story made you think. A young writer with a cheerful pseudonym "Antosha Chekhonte" raised questions of great social importance. It was not for nothing that the tsarist censor, prohibiting the publication of his story "Unter Prishibeyev", noticed that the writer ridiculed "ugly social forms."
"Unter Prishbeev" - a small everyday scene. The protagonist is a retired martinet, a voluntary scammer, obsessed with a passion to interfere in other people's affairs, to prohibit, to suppress, to "knock down" The image of Prishibeev has become one of the best satirical images of Russian literature, Khlestakov from The Government Inspector, Chichikov and Sobakevich from Gogol's Dead Souls , Judas from "Gentlemen Golovlyovs" by Saltykov-Shchedrin. But Gogol and Saltykov-Shchedrin have large-scale works, while Chekhov has a story of several pages. Give credit, reader, to Chekhov's amazing skill: his story is comparable in capacity to a novel.
Another small scene, "Chameleon". A chameleon is a reptile of warm countries that changes skin color when the color of the environment changes. The word "chameleon" is often used in a figurative sense, and then it acquires a contemptuous connotation. A chameleon is a person who, out of petty selfish motives, easily changes opinions, sympathies, and views. Chekhov paints with broad strokes the vile type of sycophant in front of the gentlemen, the rude and insolent person in front of everyone else. Little slave soul! Chekhov called on everyone - to use his own expression - to "squeeze a slave out of himself drop by drop." He returned to this topic more than once. Read "Thick and thin", "Death of an official".
Chekhov's stories sparkle with a smile and fun. How not to laugh, for example, at the stupid paramedic from "Surgery", at the unlucky liar from the story "Salted" or at the hero of "Horse Family", an ignorant general who trusted the healer more than the doctor? But Chekhov was by no means indifferent to whom to ridicule. He never laughed at the poor, deceived, in trouble. Behind each of his lines is a smart and kind narrator, a sensitive person who understands everything from a half-word.
Sadness was hidden under the outward cheerfulness of Chekhov's stories. Sadness that people are often soulless and evil, that vulgarity permeates everything around with a gray fog. Technology is developing, new railways are being built. The people remain as before, as under serfdom, downtrodden and dark.
Is it possible to forget Vanka Zhukov, a nine-year-old boy apprenticed to a shoemaker in Moscow, forever hungry, chilly, sending a letter to his grandfather: “Dear grandfather, do God's mercy, take me home from here, to the village, there is no way for me ... Wasting my life is worse than any dog...” On the envelope, Vanka writes the address: “To the village of grandfather. Konstantin Makarych.
Rejecting the present, Chekhov rushed his dream into the future. He was convinced that the time was not far off when life would be arranged on new, reasonable principles. “There will be a good life in fifty years,” one of his heroes dreams. Another echoes him: “Here it is, happiness, here it comes, it comes closer and closer, I can already hear its steps ...”
Chekhov searched and could not find a way to this happy tomorrow. He wrote a lot about children. I wanted to see in the child the future master of life. It worried him when he noticed that teenagers take on their worst features from their elders. The heroes of the story "Children" greedily play for money, learn to deceive, cheat. What will they grow up to be - the new Mendeleevs, Przhevalskys, Repins - or will they adapt to the surrounding vulgarity and philistinism? Another intonation in the story "Boys". Chekhov writes about the youthful thirst for romance, extraordinary deeds with great warmth.
“Then a person will become better when you show him what he is” - this is how he formulated one of his main literary principles. Confidence. Above all trust in the mind and heart of the reader.
Chekhov set himself the task of making the reader an accomplice in the creative process. He never exclaimed: "What a touching picture!" or "What a poor girl!" I wanted the reader to be able to say these words himself. He ruthlessly crossed out lengthy descriptions of nature. He strove to ensure that the reader himself could draw them in his imagination from individual details. “For example,” he argued to his brother Alexander, from whom he wanted to grow a writer, “you will get a moonlit night if you write that a glass from a broken bottle flashed like a bright star on the mill dam and the black shadow of a dog or a wolf rolled like a ball ...”
Chekhov the writer grew with amazing speed. A recent debutant turned into a mature master before our eyes.
Contemporaries for a long time could not see his talent. When the collection Motley Stories signed by A. Chekhonte was published in the spring of 1886, one of the critics claimed that the young author was trading himself for trifles, that he was one of those “newspaper writers” who ended their lives “in complete oblivion somewhere somewhere under the fence.
But there was another kind response to the book. D. V. Grigorovich, a prominent writer of the older generation, the author of the famous story “Anton-Goremyka”, a man who knew Belinsky, Dostoevsky, Turgenev, addressed Chekhov with a letter. Grigorovich warmly welcomed Chekhov as a new great talent, urged him to be more demanding and accumulate strength to create "truly artistic works."
Chekhov was not accustomed to words of approval; Grigorovich's letter excited him, touched him, made him think about himself as a writer. On March 28, 1886, he answered: “If I have a gift that should be respected, then I repent of the purity of your heart, I have not respected it until now. I felt that I had it, but I used to consider it insignificant.
The following year, in 1887, Chekhov's book of short stories "At Twilight" was published, the first book signed by his full real name. The Korsh Moscow Theater staged his play Ivanov.
Just as a climber in love with the romance of mountains, having barely climbed a steep peak, immediately begins to dream of the next, even less accessible one, so a writer, a true writer, never rests on what has been achieved, he also dreams of his next peak.
We say goodbye to Chekhov, who is entering the time of creative maturity, full of strength and new ideas. New frontiers of skill await him ahead. He will have to commit courageous deeds, write brilliant works that will glorify his name and all Russian literature.
He, sick with consumption, in need of complete rest, the restless Russian conscience will call him on a long journey. He will go to Sakhalin, the island of hard labor and exile, the island of horrors. He will write a book about his journey. He will tell the truth about wild arbitrariness, about the rudeness of executioners and stupid people. Loudly, at the top of his voice, he will declare that powerful forces are maturing among the people. He will exclaim: “My God, how rich Russia is in good people!”
In 1892, a cholera epidemic breaks out in Russia And Chekhov pushes literary work aside, starts building hospital barracks, accepting patients like a doctor. He will beg rich people for money for medical needs. By this time, he himself will have reached the heights of literary glory, but he still will not have money.
When in 1902, at the request of Nicholas II, the decision to
When Gorky was elected honorary academician, Chekhov, in protest, would resign from himself the title of honorary academician.
He did not live a few months before the first Russian revolution. Consumption brought him to the grave in May 1904. But before his death, he wrote youthfully sonorous works, imbued with a joyful foreboding of imminent great changes. "Hello, new life!" - was heard at the end of his last play "The Cherry Orchard".
You have more than one meeting with Chekhov ahead of you, reader. He belongs to a select few with whom we do not part all our lives. How I envy you, how much the joy of discovery is still ahead of you! You have to read such amazing creations of Chekhov's genius as "Ward No. 6", "Black Monk", "Lady with a Dog". You will see the famous "The Seagull" on the stage, from which the glory of the Art Theater began.
But not all at once. For now, read lovingly, carefully this collection of youthful stories by Antosha Chekhonte - Anton Pavlovich Chekhov.

Following the traditions of humorous journalism, Chekhov used many literary pseudonyms. In total, the writer had more than forty pseudonyms, and the very first and most popular was Antosha Chekhonte. Costumed Two in one Joy Rejected love The only remedy Cases of mania grandiosa Confession At the magnetic seance Gone In the barber On the nail Lawyer's novel Which is better? Grateful Advice Cross A woman without prejudices Zealot Collection Sheep and a young lady Smudged Turnip Poisonous case Patriot of one's fatherland Triumph of the winner Clever janitor Bridegroom Fool A story that is difficult to name Brother Philanthropist A case from judicial practice Mysterious nature Cunning Knights without fear and reproach Willow Ober-tops Thief List ... Publisher: "ARDIS"

Chekhov Anton Pavlovich

Chekhov (Anton Pavlovich) is one of the most prominent contemporary European writers. His father was a serf, but he got out of the ordinary peasantry, served as a manager, and ran his own affairs. The Chekhov family is generally talented, having produced several writers and artists. Chekhov was born on January 17, 1860 in Taganrog, where he graduated from the gymnasium, then entered the medical faculty of Moscow University and in 1884 received a medical degree, but he almost never practiced. Already a student, he began (since 1879) to place, under the pseudonym Chekhonte, small stories in humorous publications: "Dragonfly", "Alarm Clock", "Shards" and others; then moved to "Petersburgskaya Gazeta" and "New Time". In 1886 the first collection of his stories was published; in 1887, a second collection appeared - "At Twilight", which showed that in the person of Chekhov, Russian literature acquired a new, thoughtful and subtle artistic talent. Under the influence of great success in the public and criticism, Chekhov completely abandoned his former genre of small newspaper essays and became primarily a contributor to monthly magazines (Severny Vestnik, Russkaya Mysl, later Life). Chekhov's success was growing; "The Steppe", "A Boring Story", "Duel", "Chamber No. 6", "The Story of an Unknown Man", "Men" (1897), "The Man in the Case", "In the Ravine" attracted special attention; from the plays - "Ivanov", who did not have success on stage, "The Seagull", "Uncle Vanya", "Three Sisters". Chekhov's enormous popularity was expressed, among other things, in the fact that all collections of his works went through many editions: "At Twilight" - 13 editions, "Colorful Stories" - 14, "Gloomy People" - 10, "Ward No. 6" - 7 , "Kashtanka" - 7, "Stories" - 13, etc. In 1901 - 1902, A.F. Marx published the complete works of Chekhov in 10 volumes. The same collection, supplemented by the latest works, is given as a prize for the "Niva" in 1903, which, thanks to this, has acquired an unprecedented large number of subscribers. In 1890 Chekhov made a trip to Sakhalin. The gloomy impressions taken from this trip formed the subject of a whole book: "Sakhalin Island" (1895). Chekhov later traveled extensively in Europe. In recent years, in order to improve his health, he has been constantly living in his estate near Yalta, only occasionally visiting Moscow, where his wife, the gifted artist Knipper, occupies one of the prominent places in the well-known troupe of the Moscow Literary and Artistic Circle (Stanislavsky). In 1900, at the very first elections to the Pushkin branch of the Academy of Sciences, Chekhov was elected to the number of honorary academicians. Chekhov's literary activity is usually divided into two halves that have absolutely nothing in common with each other: the Chekhov-Chekhonte period and later activity, in which a gifted writer is freed from adapting to the tastes and needs of the reader of the small press. There are well-known reasons for this division. There is no doubt that Chekhov-Chekhonte in his "humorous" stories does not stand up to the height of his reputation as a first-rate writer. The public, which subscribed to the Niva in 1903 in order to become thoroughly acquainted with Chekhov, experienced a certain disappointment even after the first volumes of the collection of his works arranged in chronological order. If, however, one takes a deeper and more attentive look at Chekhonte's stories, then it is not difficult to see in these hastily sketches the stamp of Chekhov's great skill and all the features of his melancholic talent. There is not very much direct "humor", physiological, so-called "internal" laughter. True, there are quite a few anecdotes and even outright cartoons, such as, for example, "Roman with a double bass", "Screw", "Death of an official", "Drama", "Captain's uniform", etc. But, with the exception of perhaps only "Roman with double bass," Chekhonte hardly has at least one story, through the caricature of which the psychological and life truth would not brightly break through. For example, an official will not actually die because the boss, in response to his excessively obsequious and annoying apologies for the fact that he accidentally spat in his direction, finally shouted to him "get out"; but the downtroddenness of the petty official, for whom the dignitary is some kind of higher being, is captured (in The Death of an Official) at its very core. In any case, there is very little that is cheerful in Chekhonte's "humorous" caricatures: the general tone is gloomy and hopeless. Daily life unfolds before us in all the tragedy of its pettiness, emptiness and soullessness. The fathers of the family, tearing down all sorts of troubles in the service and card losses on relatives, bribery of the provincial administration, intrigues of representatives of intelligent professions, the rudest groveling before money and those in power, the boredom of family life, the rude egoism of "honest" people in dealing with "corrupt creatures" ( "Anyuta", "Chorus Girl"), the peasant's boundless stupidity ("Intruder"), the complete absence of a moral feeling and the desire for an ideal - this is the picture that unfolds before the reader of Chekhonte's "fun" stories. Even from such an innocent plot as dreams of winning 75,000 rubles ("The Winning Ticket"), Chekhonte managed to make a canvas for a difficult picture of the relationship of spouses dreaming about winning. The excellent story "The Husband" speaks directly to Dostoevsky, where on some 4 pages, in all its horror, the psychology of an evil being, mired in worldly boredom, is described, experiencing purely physical suffering, when he sees that people close to him are able to forget and for a moment be carried away into some other, joyful and bright world. Among Chekhov's early stories is another excellent story "Tosca", this time not only gloomy, but also deeply touching: a story about how an old cab driver, whose adult son had died, kept looking for someone to tell his grief, yes no one listens to him; and the poor old man ends by pouring out his soul before his horse. Chekhonte's artistic techniques are as remarkable as in Chekhov's later works. Most striking is the extraordinary conciseness of form, which still remains the main feature of Chekhov's artistic style. And until now, Chekhov's stories almost always begin and end in the same book of the magazine. Relatively "big" works by Chekhov - for example, "The Steppe" - are often nothing more than a collection of separate scenes, united only externally. Chekhov's brevity is organically connected with the peculiarities of his way of depicting. The fact is that Chekhov never exhausts his plot completely and comprehensively. Being a realist in his striving to give unvarnished truth and always having in reserve a huge amount of fictional details, Chekhov, however, always draws only in contours and schematically, that is, he does not give the whole person, not the whole position, but only their essential outlines. Taine tries to catch the faculte maitresse of the writers he considers; Chekhov does this in relation to each of his heroes and puts forward in him only that which seems to him characteristic and predominant in a given person. Chekhov almost never gives a full biography of his heroes; he takes them at a certain moment in their life and gets off with a two or three words from their past, concentrating all attention on the present. He paints, therefore, not so much portraits as silhouettes. That is why his images are so distinct; he always hits one point, never getting carried away by secondary details. Hence the strength and relief of his painting, with all the indeterminacy of those types that he mainly subjects to his psychological analysis. If we add to this the wonderful coloring of Chekhov's language, the abundance of well-aimed and vivid words and definitions, it becomes obvious that he does not need much space. In terms of artistic style, the Chekhov Theater occupies a special place. Like his narrative works, Chekhov's dramatic activity falls into two periods. First, he wrote some truly hilarious things, of which "Bear" and "Proposal" do not leave the scene. Serious plays of the second period were created under the undoubted influence of Ibsen. These are "mood" plays par excellence, in which the appropriate performance of the actors is almost decisive. "Three Sisters", for example, did not like reading at all and in places even aroused laughter. Such, in reading, are the sisters' constant comic exclamations: "To Moscow, to Moscow," it's like going to Moscow and even settling in it - God knows what happiness. But in the production of Stanislavsky's Moscow troupe, "Three Sisters" made a huge impression, because those very little things, often even simple remarks that are not noticed and disappear in reading, were clearly emphasized by the troupe, which remarkably pondered the intentions of the author, and the viewer was informed of the author's mood. Even the notorious "To Moscow, to Moscow" has turned into a not at all funny symbol of the desire to escape from the hateful reality. "Uncle Vanya" makes a strong impression in reading as well, but the stage performance greatly enhances the overall effect of the play and, in particular, the final impression of hopeless longing into which "Uncle Vanya" plunges upon the departure of the guests. The essential difference between Chekhov-Chekhonte and Chekhov of the second period is the sphere of observation and reproduction. Chekhonte did not go beyond the trifles of the ordinary, ordinary existence of those circles of society that live an elementary, almost zoological life. But when criticism raised the self-consciousness of the young writer and inspired him with a high idea of ​​the noble sides of his subtle and sensitive talent, he decided to rise in his artistic analysis, began to capture the higher aspects of life and reflect social trends. The general character of this later work, the beginning of which can be attributed to the appearance of Boring History (1888), was clearly affected by that gloomy streak of despair and hopeless longing that in the 80s swept the most sensitive elements of Russian society. The eighties are characterized by the consciousness of the Russian intelligentsia that it is completely powerless to overcome the inertia of the environment, that the distance between its ideals and the gloomy gray, hopeless background of living Russian reality is immense. In this living reality, the people were still in the Stone Age, the middle classes had not yet emerged from the darkness of the "dark kingdom", and in the spheres of the guides, the traditions and moods of the "epoch of great reforms" abruptly ended. All this, of course, was nothing particularly new for the sensitive elements of Russian society, who, even in the previous period of the seventies, were aware of the ugliness of the "reality" of that time. But then the Russian intelligentsia was inspired by a special nervous upsurge, which instilled courage and confidence. In the 1980s this cheerfulness completely disappeared and was replaced by a consciousness of bankruptcy before the real course of history. Hence the birth of a whole generation, part of which lost the very desire for the ideal and merged with the surrounding vulgarity, and part gave rise to a number of neurasthenics, "whiners", weak-willed, colorless, imbued with the consciousness that you cannot break the power of inertia, and capable only of annoying everyone with complaints of their helplessness and uselessness. It was this period of neurasthenic relaxation of Russian society that found its art historian in the person of Chekhov. Precisely the historian: this is very important for understanding Chekhov. He approached his task not as a person who wants to tell about his deeply disturbing grief, but as an outsider who observes a well-known phenomenon and only cares about portraying it as accurately as possible. What we usually call "ideological creativity", that is, the desire to express one's social world outlook in an artistic form, is alien to Chekhov both by his nature, too analytical and melancholic, and by the conditions under which his literary ideas and tastes were formed. One does not need to know Chekhov's intimate biography to see that he never experienced the time of the so-called "ideological ferment". In the entire space of his writings, where it seems that there is not a single detail of Russian life that is not touched upon in one way or another, you will not find a single description of a student gathering or those fundamental disputes until broad daylight that are so characteristic of Russian youth. Chekhov became interested in the ideological side of Russian life already at that time when susceptibility is weakening and "experience of life" makes even the most ardent natures somewhat apathetic in search of a world outlook. Having become a chronicler and chronicler of the spiritual degeneration and refinement of our intelligentsia, Chekhov himself did not join any particular trend. He is at the same time close to both Novoye Vremya and Russkaya Mysl, and in recent years he even sided most closely with the organ of our extreme left journalism, which involuntarily ceased to exist (Life). He is unquestionably derisive about the "people of the sixties," about his enthusiasm for the Zemstvo, etc., but he does not even have a single "conservative" line. In "The Story of an Unknown Man" he reduces the revolutionary movement to some kind of empty place, but the opposite environment is exposed even more viciously in the same story. It is this social and political indifference that gives him the objective cruelty with which he described Russian whiners. But if he does not cheer for them with his soul, if he does not throw thunder against the sucking "environment", then he is at the same time without any hostility to that circle of ideas from which our hamlets proceed, a couple for a penny. In this he differs in the most essential way from the militant accusers of the conservative camp. If we take the most popular type of this kind - Ivanov from the drama of the same name - to illustrate Chekhov's attitude towards the bankrupt intellectuals of the 80s - what impression will we get? In any case, it is not that one should not be an innovator, one should not struggle with routine and neglect social prejudices. No, the drama only states that such weaklings as Ivanov are not capable of innovation. Ivanov himself draws a parallel between himself and the worker Semyon, who wanted to show off his strength to the girls, took on two huge bags and strained himself. The same inexorable rigidity, but devoid of any tendentious hostility, Chekhov showed in his attitude towards the people. There is no darker depiction of the peasantry in Russian literature than the picture that Chekhov sketched in The Peasants. Awful is the complete absence of moral feeling in those people who came out of the people who are depicted in another story by Chekhov - "In the ravine". But next to the terrible, Chekhov is also able to capture the poetic movements of people's life - and since at the same time Chekhov paints the "ruling classes" in the darkest colors, even the most ardent democratism can see in Chekhov's merciless truth only a private manifestation of his pessimistic view of people. Chekhov's artistic analysis somehow focused entirely on the depiction of mediocrity, vulgarity, stupidity of the Russian layman and his hopeless bogging down in the mire of everyday life. It costs nothing for Chekhov to assure us in The Three Sisters that in a city of a hundred thousand people there is no one to say a human word to and that the departure of the officers of the cavalry regiment from it leaves some gaping emptiness in it. Chekhov boldly declares in "My Life" through the mouth of his hero: "In the whole city I did not know a single honest person." You experience double horror when reading the excellent psychological and psychiatric sketch "Ward No. 6": first, at the sight of those monstrous disorders that the hero of the story allows in the Zemstvo hospital, undoubtedly the best person in the whole city, Dr. Andrey Efimovich, completely immersed in reading; then, when it turns out that the only person with clearly conscious social ideals is the madman Ivan Dmitrievich kept in Ward No. 6. And what a feeling of hopeless anguish should seize us when we get acquainted with the intimate life of the professor, which is the content of "A Boring Story". Her hero is a famous professor, who not only informs his listeners of special information, but also expands their mental horizons with broad philosophical generalizations, a person who is sensitive to the tasks of socio-political life, a friend of Kavelin and Nekrasov, ideally disinterested and selfless in relations with everyone who have to deal with him. Judging by outward signs, this figure alone is enough to shake the belief in the boundlessness of Chekhov's pessimism. But the fact of the matter is that behind the external temptation lies a terrible internal drama; That's why the story is "boring" that the life of the famous professor, as he himself feels, has resulted in zero. In his family life he was consumed by the vulgarity and philistinism of his wife and daughter, and in his own spiritual life he discovers with horror the complete absence of a "general idea." And it turns out that a completely decent person is either crazy or aware of the aimlessness of his life. And nearby, predators and selfish people triumph - some petty-bourgeois woman in "Three Sisters", the professor's wife, daughter and son-in-law in "A Boring Story", the evil Aksinya "In the Ravine", the professorial couple in "Uncle Vanya", Treplev and his beloved in " Seagull" and many other similar "prosperous Russians". They are also joined by simple people with somewhat definite aspirations, such as, for example, the most excellent type of "Man in a Case" - the teacher of the gymnasium Belikov, who forced the whole city to do various social nasty things only by resolutely setting his demands; squeamish "decent" people obeyed him because they lacked the strength of character to resist. There is, however, pessimism and pessimism. It is also necessary to understand Chekhov's pessimism, it is necessary to separate it not only from that commonplace pessimism, which, mockingly referring to "idealism", borders on the apotheosis of bourgeois "prudence", but even, for example, from the pessimism of such writers as Pisemsky or many of the French realists . The latter have only one angry and, most importantly, calm statement, while Chekhov still feels some kind of deep longing for something good and bright. There was a time when Chekhov was accused of deep indifference. N.K. Mikhailovsky formulated this reproach most vividly, saying that Chekhov, with the same composure, "directs his excellent artistic apparatus at a swallow and a suicide, at a fly and an elephant, at tears and at water." But the time for these reproaches is now more or less over. The same N.K. Mikhailovsky saw some "author's pain" in "A Boring Story". Now, hardly many will argue against the fact that if Chekhov does not have a definite social worldview, then he, nevertheless, has an undoubted longing for an ideal. Undoubtedly, he criticizes everything because he has very high moral requirements. He does not create positive types, because he cannot be content with little. If, reading Chekhov, one falls into despair, then this despair is nevertheless ennobling: it instills a deep aversion to the petty and vulgar, tears the veils from bourgeois well-being and makes one despise the lack of moral and social restraint. Chekhov A.P. died July 1, 1904. Wed (Evgeny Solovyov) "A book about Gorky and Chekhov"; Arseniev "Critical studies"; Batyushkov "Critical Essays"; Vogüet in "Revue d. deux Mondes" (1902, I) and a brochure in Russian (Moscow, 1902); "Essays on Chekhov" (St. Petersburg, 1903); Volynsky "The Struggle for Idealism"; Goltsev "Literary essays"; Menshikov "Critical Essays"; Merezhkovsky, in Severny Vestnik (1888, 11); Mikhailovsky "Works" (volume VI) and "Russian Wealth" (1900, 4 and 1902, 2); Ovsyaniko-Kulikovsky "Issues of the psychology of creativity" (St. Petersburg, 1902); Protopopov, in "Russian Thought" (1892, 6); Skabichevsky "Works" and "Russian Thought" (1899, No. 4, 5 and 1901, No. 11); "On various topics"; Vsevolod Cheshikhin "Modern society in the works of Boborykin and Chekhov" (Odessa, 1894). S. Vengerov.

MKOU-gymnasium No. 6 of Kimovsk

Literature lesson on the topic:

extracurricular reading

Stories of Antosha Chekhonte

(grade 5)

Grade: 5 B

Teacher: Voronina A.S.

Subject:Thu Stories of Antosha Chekhonte.

The purpose of the lesson: Introduce students to a humorous story

A.P. Chekhov "Horse surname", to deepen the presentation

Regulatory UUD:accepts a learning task; plans the necessary

Actions, acting according to plan

Cognitive UUD:Aware of the cognitive task, reads and listens,

Extract the information you need

Find it in a textbook.

Communicative UUD:asks questions, listens and answers questions from others,

forms his own thoughts, expresses and substantiates his point of view.

Personal UDD: learns new activities, participates in

Creative process.

Means of education:textbook, computer, portrait of the writer. presentation

DURING THE CLASSES

1. organizational stage.

Greetings.

Checking students' readiness for the lesson. In order for the children to tune in to the lesson, ask them to write down the number in their notebooks. slide 1

Teacher's word.

I would like to know, guys, with what mood you came to the lesson today. Each has two flowers on the desk. If you are in a good mood at the beginning of the lesson, raise a red flower; if your mood is not very good, raise a blue flower.

Now we will remember what we did in the last lesson. I will start the story, and you will have to supplement it with some facts.

In the last lesson, we got acquainted with the work of the great Russian writer A.P. Chekhov who combined two completely different professions at once -doctor and writer. After graduating from the medical faculty of Moscow University, Chekhov was engaged in medical work, but literary activity captured him more and more. At the beginning, he signs his stories with a pseudonym Antosha Chekhonte . Chekhov's stories differ in that theyshort and humorous.

1. Formulation of the topic of the lesson.

Now remember what was given to you as homework and try to understand what we will talk about today in the lesson.

The topic of the lesson is “The Stories of Antosha Chekhonte” (write in a notebook) slide 2

Each of you at home read some story by Antosha Chekhonte and completed the project.

The story that we will read in class is called "The Horse's Name".

1. Work on the topic of the lesson:

1. Preparation for the perception of the story.

1.1. Task: name all the words that are associated with the word horse.

1.2. Task: Form surnames from these words.

1.3. Vocabulary work: slide 3

county-district, part of the province;

excise - an employee of an institution for the collection of taxes;

cinchona is the bark of an American tree from which a pharmaceutical drug is extracted.

2. Reading a story.

The teacher starts reading

Reading in a chain

3. Analytical conversation:

Why do we consider the story to be humorous?(There are many funny moments in it).

What exactly did you find funny?(The fact that the whole estate picked up a “horse name”).

Why did the general believe that it was possible to speak pain over the telegraph?(The pain was severe, the general tried all means).

1. Work in pairs:

Task: count all the “horse surnames” encountered in the story (42 surnames). slide 4

1. Checking homework.

Turn in your projects, make sure they include your last name, first name, class, and the title of the story you read at home.

Homework. Find and write down in a notebook the interpretation of the word "screenplay". Reread the story "Surgery" slide 5

1. Reflection:

Marks.

If today in the lesson you learned something new - attach a red flower to the board, if you didn’t learn anything new - blue. slide 6

Preview:

HORSE SURNAME

The retired Major General Buldeev had a toothache. He rinsed his mouth with vodka, cognac, applied tobacco soot, opium, turpentine, kerosene to a sick tooth, smeared iodine on his cheek, he had cotton wool soaked in alcohol in his ears, but all this either did not help or caused nausea. The doctor came. He picked his teeth, prescribed quinine, but that didn't help either. On the proposal to pull out a bad tooth, the general refused. Everyone at home - wife, children, servants, even the cook Petka, each offered his own remedy. By the way, Ivan Evseich, Buldeev's clerk, came to him and advised him to undergo treatment with a conspiracy.

“Here, in our county, your excellency,” he said, “about ten years ago, exciseman Yakov Vasilyich served. He spoke teeth - the first grade. It used to turn away to the window, whisper, spit - and as if by hand! He has such power...

– Where is he now?

- And after he was fired from the excise, he lives in Saratov with his mother-in-law. Now it only feeds on teeth. If a person has a toothache, then they go to him, help ... Local, Saratov at home uses, and if they are from other cities, then by telegraph. Send him, Your Excellency, a message that this is so, they say, this is it ... the servant of God Alexy has a toothache, please use it. Send money for treatment by mail.

- Nonsense! Quackery!

- And you try, your excellency. He is very keen on vodka, lives not with his wife, but with a German woman, a scolder, but, one might say, a miraculous gentleman.

- Come on, Alyosha! the general’s wife pleaded. “You don’t believe in conspiracies, but I experienced it myself. Although you do not believe, why not send? Your hands won't fall off of it.

“Well, all right,” agreed Buldeev. No urine! Well, where does your exciseman live? How to write to him?

The general sat down at the table and took a pen in his hands.

“Every dog ​​in Saratov knows him,” said the clerk.

- Well?

"Vasilyich... Yakov Vasilyich... but by his last name... But I forgot his last name!... Vasilyich... Damn it... What's his name?" Just now, how I came here, I remembered ... Excuse me, sir ...

Ivan Evseich raised his eyes to the ceiling and moved his lips. Buldeev and the general's wife waited impatiently.

- Well, what? Think quickly!

- Now ... Vasilyich ... Yakov Vasilyich ... I forgot! Such a simple surname ... as if like a horse ... Kobylin? No, not Kobylin. Wait… Are there any stallions? No, and not Zherebtsov. I remember the name of the horse, and which one - knocked out of my head ...

- Zherebyatnikov?

- Not at all. Wait... Kobylitsin... Kobylyatnikov... Kobelev...

- This is a dog, not a horse. stallions?

- No, and not Zherebchikov ... Loshadinin ... Loshakov ... Zherebkin ... Everything is not right!

- Well, how am I going to write to him? Think about it!

- Now. Loshadkin… Kobylkin… Root…

- Korennikov? the general asked.

- Not at all. Pristyazhkin... No, that's not it! Forgot!

- So why the hell are you climbing with advice, if you forgot? - the general got angry. - Get out of here!

Ivan Yevseich slowly left, and the general grabbed his cheek and went into the rooms.

- Oh, fathers! he yelled. “Oh, mothers! Oh, I don't see white light!

The clerk went out into the garden and, raising his eyes to the sky, began to recall the name of the exciseman:

- Zherebchikov ... Zherebkovsky ... Zherebenko ... No, that's not it! Loshadinsky... Loshadevich... Zherebkovich... Kobylyansky...

A little later he was called to the masters.

- Do you remember? the general asked.

“Not at all, Your Excellency.

- Maybe Konyavsky? Horsemen? Not?

And in the house, everyone vied with each other, they began to invent surnames. They went through all the ages, sexes and breeds of horses, remembered the mane, hooves, harness ... In the house, in the garden, in the servants' room and in the kitchen, people walked from corner to corner and, scratching their foreheads, looked for a surname ...

The clerk was constantly demanded to the house.

- Tabunov? - they asked him. - Kopytin? Zherebovsky?

“Not at all,” answered Ivan Yevseich, and, raising his eyes, went on thinking aloud. “Konenko… Konchenko… Zherebeev… Kobyleev…”

- Dad! shouted from the nursery. "Troikin!" Uzdechkin!

The entire estate was in a state of shock. The impatient, tortured general promised to give five rubles to anyone who remembered his real name, and whole crowds began to follow Ivan Evseich ...

- Gnedov! - they told him. - Trotting! Horse!

But evening came, and the surname was still not found. So they went to bed without sending a telegram.

The general did not sleep all night, walked from corner to corner and groaned ... At three o'clock in the morning he left the house and knocked on the window to the clerk.

- Isn't Merinov? he asked in a tearful voice.

"No, not Merinov, Your Excellency," answered Ivan Yevseich, and sighed guiltily.

- Yes, maybe the surname is not horse, but some other!

- The word is true, Your Excellency, horse ... I remember this very well.

- What you are, brother, forgetful ... For me now this surname is more precious, it seems, than everything in the world. Tormented!

In the morning the general again sent for the doctor.

- Let it vomit! - he decided. - No more strength to endure ...

The doctor came and pulled out a bad tooth. The pain subsided immediately, and the general calmed down. Having done his job and having received what follows for his work, the doctor got into his britzka and drove home. Outside the gate in the field, he met Ivan Evseich ... The clerk was standing on the edge of the road and, looking intently at his feet, was thinking about something. Judging by the wrinkles that furrowed his forehead, and by the expression of his eyes, his thoughts were intense, painful...

“Bulanov… Cheressedelnikov…” he muttered. “Zasuponin… Horse…”

- Ivan Evseich! the doctor turned to him. “Couldn’t I, my dear, buy five-five quarters of oats from you?” Our peasants sell me oats, but it’s painfully bad ...

Ivan Yevseich looked blankly at the doctor, smiled somehow wildly, and, without saying a single word in answer, clasping his hands, ran towards the estate with such speed as if a mad dog was chasing him.

February sixteenth Classwork

Stories of Antosha Chekhonte. "Horse Family"

Dictionary work county - district, part of the province; excise - an employee of an institution for the collection of taxes; cina - the bark of an American tree from which a pharmaceutical drug is extracted

Task: count all the “horse names” found in the story

Homework Find and write down in a notebook the interpretation of the word "screenplay". Reread the story "Surgery"

Learned something new Didn't learn anything new

(Slide 1) Extracurricular reading. "Little Stories" by Antosha Chekhonte

(During the lesson, give your name to the lesson)

Then a person will become better when you show him what he is.

Brevity is the soul of wit.

A.P. Chekho in

Lesson Objectives:

Subject: creating conditions for the formation of ideas about the features of the genre of a humorous story, teaching the analysis of a work of art, finding artistic details in it, compiling a verbal description of characters based on their behavior and speech characteristics; analysis of the means of creating comic.

Metasubject:

Personal: the formation of the ability to conduct a dialogue, negotiate in a group; formation of the need for self-expression, self-realization, social recognition; fostering pride in the cultural heritage of the small motherland.

Regulatory: creating conditions for the formation of goal-setting, the ability to plan the sequence of one's actions.

Communicative: the formation of the ability to listen and conduct a dialogue, participate in a collective discussion, cooperate effectively.

Cognitive: the ability to work with dictionaries and other sources of information, analyze the proposed material in order to highlight essential features, the ability to build a demonstrative, logically complete statement, the formation of semantic reading, the ability to concisely selectively convey the content of the text, choose the most effective ways to solve the problem.

Equipment: multimedia presentation, feature film "Salty", student drawings, objects (drawings of objects) to determine the story in which they are described.

During the classes

In 1879, after graduating from the gymnasium in Taganrog, Anton Pavlovich Chekhov entered the medical faculty of Moscow University. He carefully attended lectures, listened to professors, passed exams, but meanwhile ... “While I was studying,” Chekhov later recalled, “I managed to write hundreds of stories under a pseudonymA. Chekhonte , which, as you can see, is very similar to my last name. (Nickname – this is the signature with which the author replaces his real name).

"Antosha Chekhonte" is Chekhov's most common pseudonym. He showed up

from the fact that the teacher of the Law of God at the Taganrog gymnasium liked to twist

the names of the students. “Come on, Antosha Chekhonte, let's see how you know the sacred history,” he said many times to the high school student Chekhov. The signature "Antosh Chekhonte" stood for many years under humorous stories.

What pseudonyms do you know of the young writer?(Slide 2)

- In what magazinesA. Chekhov's stories were published?(Slide 3)

- TO what should be the stories signed with such a pseudonym? (- Of course, the first stories of Chekhonte are funny, funny, funny, witty -humorous).

- About Chekhov's early stories Yapparov E.

Within 5 years, A.P. Chekhov wrote about 400 works, which later formed the basis of his collections. According to the terms of humorous magazines, the story should not exceed one hundred lines. Fulfilling these requirements, A.P. Chekhov learned to write briefly. “Brevity is the sister of talent,” the writer often repeated.

Let's repeat the terms. Find matches and identify the missing word.(Slide 4)

Pay attention to the lexical meaning of the words found in the stories(Slide 5,6,7 + on the board)

Determine the correspondence between the terms "humor", "satire", "story" and their lexical meaning.

Let's try to unravel the secret of humor: where does humor come from, how is funny born (Slide 8+ entry in a notebook)

We divide into 3 groups (1 group - the story "Salted", 2 - "Burbot", 3 - "Joy") 4.30-5.17, 7.50-8.27

-About the history of the creation of the stories "Burbot" Agureev E., "Joy" Sapykov T.

Determination of techniques for creating a comic in groups according to a plan:

1.Brevity

2. Bright title

3. Describe actions, not states

4. ... (Podzatylkin, Akineev, Klyauzov, Kozyavkin, Vanyuchkin, Khryukin, Otlukavin, Kozikhin ...) (Speaking surnames)

5. Few actors

6. The speech of the characters (what is its role?)

7. Speech errors of characters

8. The main form of speech in the story

9. Artistic detail

10. Discrepancy between the appearance of the characters and their actions, expected and real

According to the story "I oversalted" illustrations about the lies of the surveyor (slide 9) according to "Nalim" -

pulling out a burbot from under a snag (slide 10).

- Group performances .

What does Chekhov make fun of in his stories?

What proverb would you choose for the title of your story? ( slide 11).

What is common and different between humor and satire? (General - ridiculed. Excellent - humor laughs at people's shortcomings, funny situations, satire - castigates the vices of society.) ( slide 12).

How would you title the lesson? What have you learned in the lesson? What goal have you achieved?

Serious thoughts in Chekhov's humorous stories.

In the studio of the artist of the word

"Colourful Stories"

"Humanity of Chekhov"

"Secrets of mastery of A.P. Chekhov"

"Evil does not lead to good"

What goals have we achieved? What did you learn in the lesson?

The game "Pig in a Poke" (What works are these items from?) (slide 13).

* "Salted": bast shoes, horse, revolver.

* "Burbot": burbot, crayfish, sheep, axe.

* "Joy": newspaper, minutes, hours.

Conclusion about Chekhov's humor. ( slide 14).

Laughing at the shortcomings of literary characters, let's learn to see this in ourselves and correct it.

Giving marks for class work.

Lesson results. (slide 15). Thank you poems for the lesson.

Homework. Learn the techniques for creating a comic, recorded in a notebook.

Analysis of the story "Salted"

What did you find funny?

What was the surveyor afraid of?

One of the methods of creating a comic is caricaturing or exaggerating any character trait to caricature sizes. What quality becomes the subject of caricature in Chekhov?

How does Chekhov show that the surveyor is a coward?

Pay attention to the fact that the hero thinks about one thing, but says something completely different. Such a discrepancy between words and behavior, internal state and behavior causes a comic effect.

Read a piece of text that tells about an unexpected twist in the development of the plot. (climax).

What is Chekhov laughing at?

Why is the story called« Oversalted»?

Why was the distance from the station to the estate so uncertain:

from 30 to 50 miles? (Everything depended on the agility of the horse and the sobriety of the driver.)

What did Smirnov start a conversation with the driver? Why?

(Smirnov, out of fear, started talking about revolvers.)

Why did the driver run into the forest?

(The land surveyor pretended to take out a revolver.)

Why were both afraid: both the surveyor and the driver?

(Oh, and the roads were rough.)

And now let's watch a feature film based on the story of A.P. Chekhov"Salted" (watching a movie)

Liked the film? Any discrepancies with the text?

What impression does the surveyor Smirnov create at the beginning of the story?

How is the man who agreed to take the land surveyor described?

What other descriptions are found in the text? Their role. (Horse, cart).

What time of day, time of year does the action take place? What is the description of nature at the beginning of this part of the story called? (Landscape).

Is this landscape connected with the internal state of the land surveyor Smirnov?

How did you understand the word “naughty” from the dialogue between Klim and the land surveyor?

Why does the surveyor start lying? Does his behavior correspond to the name of the land surveyor? (reception of the comic - inconsistency).

Find and read the surveyor's words (internal monologue) that convey his growing excitement.

Follow the text, what new thing comes to the mind of the land surveyor in the course of the dialogue with Klim? How does the content of his “fables” change? Why is this happening so fast?

Do you laugh when Klim with the words "Sentry!" running into the woods? Why?

How did the surveyor's behavior change after the driver's escape? Has he found peace? What else is he afraid of?

So why is the story called "Salty"?

Remember the Russian proverb that fits the meaning of the situation of the story.(Fear has big eyes). Could the story have been titled in this way, or is Chekhov's title more appropriate?

"Burbot"

The plot of the story is based on a real incident. In his memoirs, the writer notes that he remembers very well how carpenters in the Babkino estate near Voskresensk stumbled upon a burbot in the water during the construction of a bathhouse.

"Joy".

- Why did A.P. Chekhov call his story “Joy”? (This is the state in which the main character is - laughing, unable to stand on his feet with happiness)

When does a person experience joy?

What is the comedy of this situation? (Inconsistency - there is no reason for joy, but the hero rejoices)

How famous is the hero? (In a state of intoxication, he fell under a horse, received a blow on the back of the head with shafts; this case was written in the newspaper)

Tell me, is it a smart way to become famous?

What is this story about? (About human stupidity)

"Chekhov ... knows how to write in such a way that words are cramped, thoughts are spacious"

M. Gorky

The game "I believe - I do not believe"

Do you believe that A.P. Chekhov was born in Moscow? (No, we do not believe. A.P. Chekhov was born in Taganrog in 1860)

Do you believe that A.P. Chekhov had four brothers and a sister? (Yes, we believe)

Do you believe that in the lower floor of the house where A.P. Chekhov, was there a pharmacy? (No, we don’t believe it. My father’s grocery store was located there)

Do you believe that the father of A.P. Chekhov believed that children should connect their fate with trade, and not with writing and drawing? (Yes, we believe)

Do you believe that A.P. Chekhov graduated from the medical faculty of Moscow University and became a doctor? ( (Yes, we believe)

Do you believe that he published his first stories in the magazines Dragonfly, Alarm Clock, Cricket? ( (Yes, we believe)

Do you believe that A.P. Chekhov wrote under the pseudonyms Antosha Chekhonte, Don Antonio Chekhonte? ( (Yes, we believe)

Is one of the heroes of the story "Surgery" a surgeon? ( No, we don't. paramedic)

Questions about "Surgery":

We check the knowledge of the text. Answer “yes” or “no” to the questions.

Paramedic Kuryatin was 52 years old (-)

The doctor went to the patient, so the paramedic took the patients (-)

The deacon Vonmiglasov's name was Efim Mikheich (+)

The deacon treated a tooth with vodka with horseradish, warm milk (-)

The paramedic boasted that he had pulled out a tooth from the landowner Alexander Ivanych of Egypt (+)

Kuryatin pulled out the deacon's tooth with tongs (+)

Leaving, the deacon took the prosphora, which he brought to the paramedic (+)

Anton Pavlovich Chekhov

Humorous stories (compilation)

© Design. LLC "Publishing House" E ", 2017

Letter to a learned neighbor

Village Pancakes-Eaten

Dear Neighbor

Maxim (I forgot, as a father, forgive me generously!) Excuse me and forgive me an old man and an absurd human soul for daring to disturb you with my pathetic written babble. A whole year has already passed since you deigned to settle in our part of the world next to me as a little man, and I still don’t know you, and you don’t know me, a miserable dragonfly. Allow me, my precious neighbor, even though through these senile hieroglyphs, to get to know you, mentally shake your learned hand and congratulate you on your arrival from St. For a long time I have been looking for an opportunity to get to know you, I have been thirsty, because science is in some way our dear mother, everything is the same as civilization, and because I sincerely respect those people whose famous name and title, crowned with a halo of popular fame, laurels, cymbals, orders, ribbons and certificates thunder like thunder and lightning in all parts of the universe of this visible and invisible world, that is, the sublunar. I ardently love astronomers, poets, metaphysicians, assistant professors, chemists and other priests of science, to whom you classify yourself through your smart facts and branches of science, i.e. products and fruits. They say that you printed many books during your mental sitting with pipes, thermometers and a bunch of foreign books with tempting drawings. Recently, the local maximus pontifex father Gerasim visited my miserable possessions, my ruins and ruins, and with his characteristic fanaticism scolded and condemned your thoughts and ideas regarding human origin and other phenomena of the visible world and rebelled and got excited against your mental sphere and thought horizon covered with luminaries and aeroglites. I do not agree with o. Gerasim about your mental ideas, because I live and feed only on science, which Providence gave to the human race to dig precious metals, metalloids and diamonds from the depths of the visible and invisible world, but still forgive me, father, a barely visible insect if I I dare to refute in an old man's way some of your ideas regarding the nature of nature. Father Gerasim told me that you wrote an essay in which you deigned to present not very significant ideas about people and their original state and antediluvian existence. You deigned to compose that a person descended from monkey tribes of monkeys, orangutas, etc. Forgive me, old man, but I do not agree with you regarding this important point and I can put a comma for you. For if a man, the ruler of the world, the smartest of breathing creatures, were descended from a stupid and ignorant monkey, then he would have a tail and a wild voice. If we were descended from monkeys, then we would now be taken to the cities by the Gypsies to show and we would pay money to show each other, dancing on the orders of the Gypsy or sitting behind bars in the menagerie. Are we covered in wool? Don't we wear robes that monkeys don't have? Wouldn't we love and despise a woman if she smelled even a little bit of a monkey, which we see every Tuesday at the Marshal of the Nobility? If our ancestors were descended from monkeys, they would not have been buried in a Christian cemetery; my great-great-grandfather, for example, Ambrose, who lived at that time in the kingdom of Poland, was buried not like a monkey, but next to the Catholic abbot Joachim Shostak, whose notes on the temperate climate and the immoderate use of hot drinks are still kept by my brother Ivan (Maior). Abat means Catholic pop. Excuse me, ignoramus, for interfering in your scientific affairs and interpreting it in my own old way and imposing on you my wild and some kind of clumsy ideas, which scientists and civilized people are more likely to fit in their stomachs than in their heads. I cannot remain silent and cannot stand it when scientists think incorrectly in their minds, and I cannot but object to you. Father Gerasim informed me that you think wrongly about the moon, that is, about the month that replaces the sun for us during the hours of darkness and darkness, when people sleep, and you conduct electricity from place to place and fantasize. Do not laugh at the old man for writing so stupidly. You write that on the moon, that is, on the month, people and tribes live and dwell. This can never be, because if people lived on the moon, they would obscure its magical and magical light for us with their houses and fat pastures. Without rain, people cannot live, and rain falls down on the earth, not up on the moon. People living on the moon would fall down to earth, but this does not happen. Sewage and slops would rain down on our mainland from the inhabited moon. Can people live on the moon if it exists only at night and disappears during the day? And the governments cannot allow living on the moon, because on it, due to its long distance and inaccessibility, it is very easy to hide from duties. You are slightly wrong. You have composed and published in your clever essay, as Fr. Gerasim, that there are black spots on the greatest luminary, the sun. It can't be, because it can never be. How could you see spots on the sun, if you cannot look at the sun with simple human eyes, and why are there spots on it, if you can do without them? What wet body are these very spots made of if they do not burn? Do you think fish also live in the sun? Excuse me, poisonous dope, that you joked so stupidly! I'm terribly devoted to science! This ruble of this sail of the nineteenth century has no value for me, science has darkened it before my eyes with its further wings. Every discovery torments me like a carnation in the back. Although I am an ignoramus and an old-world landowner, but still an old scoundrel, I am engaged in science and discoveries, which I produce with my own hands and fill my ridiculous firebrand, my wild skull with thoughts and a set of the greatest knowledge. Mother nature is a book to be read and seen. I have made many discoveries with my own mind, such discoveries as no other reformer has yet invented. I will say without boasting that I am not one of the last regarding education, obtained by corns, and not by the wealth of parents, i.e. father and mother or guardians, who often ruin their children through wealth, luxury and six-story dwellings with slaves and electric vertebrae. That's what my penny mind discovered. I discovered that our great fiery radiant mantle, the sun on the day of St. Pascha, early in the morning, entertainingly and picturesquely plays with multi-colored colors and makes a playful impression with its wonderful twinkling. Another discovery. Why is the day short in winter and the night long, and vice versa in summer? The day in winter is short because, like all other objects visible and invisible, it shrinks from the cold and because the sun sets early, and the night expands from the lighting of lamps and lanterns, because it warms up. Then I also discovered that dogs eat grass in the spring like sheep and that coffee is harmful for full-blooded people, because it makes the head dizzy, and the eyes look cloudy, and so on. I made many discoveries, and besides this, although I do not have certificates and certificates. Come to me dear neighbor, by God. Let's discover something together, let's deal with literature, and you'll teach me various lousy calculations.

I recently read from a French scientist that the lion's muzzle is not at all like a human face, as scientists think. And we'll talk about this. Come, do me a favor. Come tomorrow, for example. Now we eat lenten, but we will cook squirrel for you. My daughter Natasha asked you to bring some smart books with you. She's my emancipe, she's all fools, she's the only smart one. Youth now I will tell you makes itself known. God bless them! In a week my brother Ivan (Major) will come to me, a good man, but between us, to say, Bourbon does not like science either. This letter should be delivered to you by my housekeeper Trofim at exactly 8 o'clock in the evening. If he brings him later, then beat him on the cheeks, like a professor, there is nothing to stand on ceremony with this tribe. If he delivers it later, it means that the anathema went into the tavern. The custom of going to neighbors is not invented by us and will end, and therefore by all means come with typewriters and books. I would go to you myself, but I am very embarrassed and lack courage. Excuse me rascal for worrying.

I remain a retired constable from the nobility, respecting you, your neighbor

Vasily Semi-Bulatov.

Chasing two hares, you won't catch either

It struck 12 o'clock in the afternoon, and Major Shchelkolobov, the owner of a thousand acres of land and a young wife, stuck his bald head out from under the cotton blanket and cursed loudly. Yesterday, as he passed the pavilion, he heard his young wife, Major Karolina Karlovna, talking more than graciously with her visiting cousin, calling her husband, Major Shchelkolobov, a ram, and with feminine frivolity arguing that she did not love her husband, does not love and will not be loved for his, Shchelkolobov, stupidity, peasant manners and a tendency to insanity and chronic drunkenness. This attitude of his wife amazed, outraged and led to the strongest indignation of the major. He did not sleep the whole night and the whole morning. Unaccustomed work was in full swing in his head, his face burned and was redder than boiled cancer; fists clenched convulsively, and in the chest there was such a fuss and pounding, which the major had never seen or heard near Kars. Looking out from under the covers at the light of day and cursing, he jumped off the bed and, shaking his fists, strode around the room.