Learning how to be calm in any situation of the ocean of life is simply necessary. Problems are raining down on the heads of the inhabitants of the planet Earth, as if from a cornucopia. Ecology, politics, social upheavals, the economy, the psychological state of society as a whole and of each individual individually - nowhere is there even a hint of at least a stabilization of the situation.
Not everyone will be able to fence themselves off from everyone with a high fence, go to a desert island - there simply won’t be enough islands and fences, but everyone can try to become a self-confident and balanced person.
Do I need it?
Owners of certain types of temperament initially have this skill. It was born with them, and helps to maintain equanimity in any situation throughout the life path. We are talking about phlegmatic people who do not know how to be nervous, these unsinkable cruisers of calm and confidence. But, firstly, there are not so many pure types of temperament in nature, and, secondly, having mastered the techniques of how to learn to remain calm, you can teach this to your relatives and loved ones.Those representatives of society should master the methods of adjusting their internal state:
- who find it difficult to control emotions;
- who avoids difficult questions and difficult situations;
- who gets on the nerves of every little thing;
- who are worried about upcoming difficulties, real or imagined;
- who dreams of always being a discreet person.
Why You Shouldn't Be Nervous
Maybe, well, this training on having calmness? Everyone is nervous, and somehow survive, and some also manage to look great at the same time, build a career, defend dissertations, create families. However, not everything is so rosy, there are many reasons why you should not be nervous.- You will be nervous - you will lose control over the situation, and then take you with "bare hands" whoever wants.
- If you are nervous, family relationships will suffer in all verticals (husband-wife, children-parents, etc.).
- If you get nervous, you will get something like a boomerang effect from others, your emotion will return to you, only twice as much. Do you need this?
- You will be nervous - you will get vasospasm, and everything that follows from here (migraine, atherosclerosis, stroke).
- You will be nervous - the body will begin increased production of the hormone cortisol, which destroys brain cells and nitrogenous decomposition of muscles.
Learning to be calm
Before you start mastering the techniques that allow you to experience and then, at will, return this blissful state, it is advisable to find a picture that will personify this calmness for you and place it in the area of \u200b\u200bthe immediate environment.It can be wallpaper on your computer desktop, a wall calendar, a poster on the wall depicting a peaceful landscape, a sleeping child, sunsets and sunrises, a starry sky, in general, everything that will be a symbol of peace for you.
The following four techniques were suggested by the French psychologist E. Pigani in order to artificially evoke and reinforce a sense of calm.
"Jar of honey" - a technique for slowing down movements
You need to choose some routine action that you do every day “on the machine”, quickly and without hesitation. It can be cleaning the closet, washing dishes, taking a shower, making tea, any other kind of simple activity. Breathing slowly and deeply, you need to slow down your movements as much as possible.
Now attention is directed to each movement, to the feeling of contact with the object being used. For more believability, you can imagine yourself immersed in a huge jar of honey, and slow down your movements even more.
The purpose of this exercise is to stop being nervous, to quickly recover in stressful situations, to feel your presence “here and now” with all the acuteness.
"Jar of rice" - patience training technique
To do this, you need to count the grains of rice, shifting them from one glass to another. Have you counted? Write down how much you got, and then do everything in reverse order. The results, of course, should match. If you want to grumble, remember that in a Buddhist monastery you would be forced to number each grain of rice.
"Kettle with food" - a mindful meal reception
Attitudes towards food in the days of fast food and convenience foods, frozen desserts and ready-made meals from the supermarket have undergone significant changes compared to the beginning of the last century. However, the human body, both then and now, is able to send a satiety signal to the brain only 20-30 minutes after the onset of the action of digestive juices.
Start your first meal by eating slowly, chewing slowly, and slowly breaking off pieces of the food served. You need to sit with a straight back and with a straight neck, bring cutlery to your mouth slowly, eat calmly. Satiety signals will reach the brain on time, less food will be required, a slim figure is provided along with the ability not to be irritated while eating.
"Empty pot" - listening to silence
Every week you need to set aside five (only five!) minutes in order to listen to silence. Turn off all phones, TVs, computers, dim the lights. You need to sit comfortably, without tension, put your hands on your hips. The left hand lies on the right, the thumb of the right hand - on the left palm, does not press on it, but simply lies.
With your eyes closed, you need to focus on the sensations at the point where the finger touches the palm. In this position, listen to silence for five minutes. Two months later, meetings with silence are already taking place daily. During them, you can think about good and evil. The feeling of how to remain calm will consolidate over time, it can be easily called up in order not to be nervous, to be balanced in any conflict situation.
Controlling negative emotions
Zen Buddhists believe that every negative emotion is a message to be read and released. They compare negative emotions with fire and water, they say, it is easier to cope with a fire that has just started and a leaky faucet when you immediately take up the problem. As always, easier said than done, however, and here is the technology to help put everything on the shelves.- Make a list of the 14 most commonly experienced negative emotions (anxiety, shame, hatred, longing, envy, rancor, etc.).
- Separate these emotions from your inner self. For example, not “I am jealous”, but “I feel jealous”, not “I am guilty”, but “I feel guilty”, further along the lines.
- Remember the strongest attack of anger, its cause, your feelings at the same time, physical sensations. Well, where is he now, this anger?
- We return to the list from the first paragraph. Now we need to determine what service each emotion served. "Anxiety helps you stay alert." "Embarrassment helps you adapt around strangers."
- In the future, feeling the growth of negativity, try to determine how this emotion can be useful. Most likely, now, having realized this, you will no longer become her hostage.
For every stress there is ... anti-stress
If you want to assess the level of stress in your life, you can use the "social conformity scale" of American psychologists T. Holmes and R. Rahe, who evaluated every event in the life of an average person on a 100-point scale. In the first place there is the death of a spouse (100 points), and in the last place are the New Year holidays (12 points) and a minor violation of the law (11 points).By the sum of points, the level of stress and (attention!) the risk of getting sick are calculated. We don’t need such problems - in order to help ourselves and not get annoyed, we will perform the Antistress exercises.
We pretend
Exercise is effective for any level of stress. It is necessary to feign calmness, while a feeling of relaxation arises, and after a few minutes there comes a real calm. Here you need to be a little actor, to convince yourself that you are playing the role of a calm person. The secret here is that our subconscious mind always takes everything at face value - believing you, it influenced the external state.
We smile and yawn
Every textbook on psychology gives an example of how, with a smile, 42 facial muscles send a signal to the nervous system, starting the process of regulating breathing, relieving muscle clamps, and releasing “happiness hormones”. It works even with a forced, forced smile, and instantly. The same effect is produced by wide yawning, which does not give annoyance and brings relaxation.
Understanding the world around
The best remedy for growing stress is to keep in touch with your own Self. To achieve this, you need to observe what is happening as if from the outside, act somewhat detached. You can not lose attention and control over the situation, call yourself all your actions. When you leave the house, say to yourself, "I'm leaving the house." As you wash the dishes, say to yourself, "I'm washing the dishes." When you turn on the computer, say to yourself: "I turn on the computer."
Think it's too primitive? But “everything ingenious is simple”, you just need to try and make sure of the effectiveness of simple tips that will help you always be confident in your calmness and not get annoyed over trifles.
Sometimes life presents such situations in which every little thing annoys: the husband does not thank for dinner, and the children do not want to collect toys, and the boss reprimands for the task not completed on time ...
Is it possible to get rid of superficial irritability and become self-confident? Psychologists assure that it is not only possible, but also necessary: it makes life much easier and helps to maintain peace and balance.
Why does a person lose his composure?
Having exploded once again on some trifling occasion, the woman begins to think about how to be calm and not be nervous. Sedative pills, heart-to-heart conversations with a close friend, auto-training and even a loud count to ten in a critical situation are used. But the exhausted organism demands its own, and again follows a breakdown with ridiculous decisions dictated not by common sense, but by impulse and momentary emotions.
Each time, the loss of calmness is repeated simply because there is no exact and only true recipe for how to remain calm in any situation. Therefore, before looking for ways out of this situation, it is worth understanding its causes. Why do some women lose their calm over trifling reasons, while others can boast of iron restraint?
Among the most common causes of loss of calm note:
- "Triggers", that is, things, people or events that annoy us for reasons we do not understand: for example, a neighbor with a dog or rush hour on the subway.
- Prolonged depression, combined with hopelessness and excitement, can cause irascibility.
- Chronic fatigue and lack of vitamins can also provoke a loss of calm.
- The presence of physical discomfort: when a person is hungry or cold, even a minor reason is enough to piss him off.
- The presence of diseases: for example, with diabetes mellitus or thyroid diseases, increased irritability is often noted.
By identifying the cause of your irritation, you can solve it, and not cope with the consequences of a short temper, which only signals, for example, fatigue or malaise.
FACT! During pregnancy, many women experience difficulty with balance and the adequacy of reactions to familiar situations. Do not be afraid - this is just the action of a changing hormonal background.
Peace, only peace!
Psychologists say with confidence: despite the fact that there is no universal method of how to become calm and not nervous, each person can learn to remain calm in certain life situations.
- Change the way you see things. Look at the world through the prism of the positive: love yourself and others. Forgive yourself and others for minor mistakes and shortcomings, do not reproach and do not press. Be patient and understanding, learn to stop your irritation. Before you worry, consider the appropriateness of this behavior: what will change and who will benefit from worry.
- Change your behavior. If a stressful situation is inevitable, then you should change your reaction to it: try to restrain your negative reaction, simulate the development of the situation, avoid communicating with people who are prone to drama. Look at things through the eyes of a grandmother, a kind old woman wise by life experience.
- Relax. In any situation, it is important to try to remain calm. To do this, psychologists advise to relax, and everyone does it in their own way: someone listens to quiet music, someone uses aromatic oils, someone meditates. For many women, children and animals are a calming factor, so play with your baby and cat for therapeutic purposes.
These simple and transparent tips will help you understand how to learn to be calm and realize your dreams of balance.
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It is never too late to change your behavior and learn to calmly perceive the world around you and people. Only after a woman begins to look at the world calmly and balanced, she understands how much peace means in life. Your peace of mind is the key to personal and family well-being, a friendly climate at work and strong friendships.
People who are satisfied with everything in their lives can safely be called happy. They don't know what stress is. They simply do not experience overstrain and negative emotions to which the body reacts. A person who is constantly in a stressful state becomes angry, irritable and gets turned on, as they say, with a half turn. Sooner or later he will get tired of it. And he wonders - how to be calm in any situation and is it real? Well, everything is possible in our life. And this is no exception.
Voltage drop
Every person who is interested in how to be calm in any situation needs to remember that without minimizing emotional stress, nothing will work. First you need to start eating well and on time. And start the morning with something tasty and beloved - this will help to cheer you up. As well as a 10-minute exercise, which will also tone the body.
If at work a person is faced with a stressful factor, then he will have to learn to be distracted. You just need to think about something pleasant - about a house, a loved one, a cake, cats, anything. It is also worth getting used to daily water procedures. To the bath, shower, pool. Water calms the nerves.
And in general, if a person thinks about how to be calm in any situation, then it's time to change something in your life. Maybe she has become terribly monotonous? Then it doesn’t hurt to bring a new hobby or hobby into it. The main thing is that it gives pleasure. A joyful, satisfied person simply does not want to be annoyed.
self control
Usually, the question concerning how to be calm in any situation is asked by people who are constantly in a stressful environment. For example, at work every day the boss presses or colleagues irritate with every word. The only way out is self-control.
An effective method is breathing practice. Namely, the square technique. As soon as a person feels an attack of irritation, he will need to start breathing with the left nostril, then with the right, after which with the stomach and chest. So it turns out not only to calm the heart rate, but also to be distracted.
Or you can just hold your breath and release it after half a minute. In this way, brain activity is reduced to a minimum.
Methods of psychology
As in any situation, if nothing helps? You can try to look at what is happening from the point of view of a balanced and restrained person. If such is a close friend or relative, then half the work is done - there is already a good example. You need to think - what would he do? This usually helps. Indeed, it is better to sit down and think than to tear and throw, which usually only aggravates the condition.
By the way, many advise to make a list of so-called personal irritants. The enemy must be known by sight. And after compiling the list, you can come up with ways by which it will be really possible to cope with the irritant. The next time a person encounters a source of stress, he will confidently be able to resist it in a pre-planned method. It will be a small victory, from which the mood is guaranteed to improve.
Motivation
There are different cases that make you think about how to remain calm in any situation. More often than not, people get angry because of failures. Something doesn't work, and it pisses me off. I want to drop everything, wash my hands and hide from everyone in my shelter. But this is not the way out. Well, motivation will help.
In a situation that is already “on the verge”, it is extremely important to support yourself. Words are powerful things. It is worth convincing yourself that life gets worse before it gets better. And that even after the darkest night, dawn always comes.
In general, it will not be superfluous to read a collection of motivating quotes. The most important will stick in your memory. So, for example, Stuart McRobert, a well-known publicist and author of works on strength training, said: “You will have failures, injuries and mistakes. Depression and periods of despair. Work, study, family and life will interfere with you more than once. But your inner complex should constantly show only one direction - towards the goal. Stewart reached out to athletes and bodybuilders who wanted to win and win titles. But the whole point of this phrase is that it can be applied to any person and situation.
Physical release of energy
Surely every person who is interested in how to behave calmly in any situation has noticed changes in his body at the moment of irritation. It starts to make noise in the head, the pressure jumps so rapidly that one even feels a pulsation in the temples, there is a desire to scream or even pounce on someone with fists with the intention of tearing to shreds.
It is impossible to keep such a reserve of energy in oneself. Physical relaxation will help. You can enroll in the boxing section, where in the evening you can happily take out all the anger and aggression on the pear, representing the offender instead. Changes will be noticeable almost immediately. If the harmful boss starts pouring unfounded remarks again, the person automatically remembers how he recouped yesterday on a pear, imagining the boss in her place. And he will note with pleasure to himself that today he will be able to do it again. In addition, anger in this case will make a person better! Stronger, physically developed, more beautiful. Sport is useful, after all, it is muscle relaxation, which relieves tension that accumulates in the body. The well-known phrase is ideal for this case: "Excess energy should be directed in the right direction."
Everything ends sooner or later
Many people live by this principle. And he is efficient. How to learn to be calm in any situation? It is enough just to remember that this (it can be specified depending on the case) is not forever. A project with too much trouble will sooner or later be completed and closed. Someday you will be able to find a new job. It will also be possible to raise money for separate housing. Sooner or later, the boss will get tired of finding fault with trifles. In general, it should be easier.
By the way, the same can be advised to people who are worried before any important event. For example, before a public performance. True, there are other ways. To be calm in any situation, even in a very responsible one, is quite real. You just need to set a short-term goal. Go out, give a speech, present yourself in the best possible light, do everything that was rehearsed. That's it, the job is done - and was it worth the experience?
It's just that people are too afraid. Fear overshadows the mind, and it is difficult for them to calm down. If you overcome this barrier and set yourself up in the right peaceful way, then everything will work out.
A change of scenery
There is one more tip that can answer the question of how to be calm in any situation. Practices are different. And one of the most effective is to change the situation. Not only physical, but also internal. Many people make a gross mistake - they return home from work, dragging a load of stress, worries, conflicts and problems with them. Being in their "fortress", they continue to think about worries. And they don't rest. We must get used to clearly separate work and everything else - vacation, home, friends, family, entertainment. Otherwise, the vicious circle will never break.
It is worth trying, and a person will soon begin to notice for himself that the thought “Well, again, how tired it all is, not a moment of peace” appears in his head less and less.
everyday situations
Much has been said above about how to be calm in any situation and not be nervous when it comes to work, life in society and society as a whole. But what about ordinary, "home" cases? If a person is irritated in front of relatives and friends, breaks down on them, then this is bad. The source again lies in his external failures related to work, dissatisfaction with his personal life, lack of money. But relatives are not to blame. In order not to get annoyed with them, you need to understand this. And don't be dramatic. If a loved one found out how things were at work, he did not want to once again remind him of a bad boss, annoying colleagues and an unloved position. He just showed attention.
And it also happens - a person is simply annoyed by his interlocutor, who, as they say, goes too far. He is interested in what does not concern him, asks about things that are too personal, imposes his opinion, tries to convince him of something, proves the opponent wrong. In this case, the person is out of luck. But the issue can be easily resolved. It is only necessary to politely besiege the interlocutor or to transfer the conversation in another direction.
Secret in happiness
Much has been said above about how to be calm in any situation. Psychology is an interesting science. And experts in this field can advise a lot of useful things. But the most important thing that everyone should learn is that the secret of peace lies in happiness. A person who likes everything in his life is always happy and happy. He does not get annoyed over trifles, because he does not care about anything - after all, everything is fine with him. Therefore, if too much has fallen on your shoulders, and it haunts you, reminding you of yourself every second, it's time to change your life. And you don't have to be afraid to do it. After all, as the famous American writer Richard Bach said, there are no limits for us.
How to stay calm under pressure? How to remain cool, calm and not nervous in stressful, conflict and any other critical situations? A quarrel with a loved one, a traffic jam on the way to work, a conflict with the boss, a child’s tantrum, a colleague’s disrespectful attitude, a queue at the supermarket, etc. Often we find ourselves in difficult situations in which it is quite difficult to remain calm. Surely you are familiar with this state, when emotions go off scale, nerves are at the limit and you are completely unable to make a reasonable decision. It is even possible that someone pissed you off so much that you could only scream and vent your anger at the person who made you so angry.In this article, psychologist Mairena Vasquez shares with you 10 tips and techniques to stay calm and calm in any situation.
Stay calm
In our frantic pace of life, it is very important to remain calm in order to make the right decisions. A lot of people live in because we have to study, work, support a home and family, earn money, solve various family and other problems ...
Some people start drinking coffee or grab a cigarette to calm down, thinking it will help. However, this is an erroneous opinion.
Another mistake is the absorption of large quantities of flour and sweets, as well as adding a large amount of sugar to food.
Not only coffee, but any other drink containing caffeine makes us even more nervous. Sugar-containing foods also do the opposite of what we want: instead of calming us down, they give us energy, so we can feel even more energized.
So, what food will help you find peace and not be nervous?
Experts recommend in such cases dark chocolate and foods rich in vitamin C: strawberries, oranges etc. as they help to reduce the level of cortisol (stress hormone), as well as various relaxing drinks (for example, valerian or linden tea).
Those who, to calm down, begin to “pounce” on the refrigerator, chewing gum recommended (sugar free) This will help you calm down and reduce stress. Try chewing slowly, consciously, enjoying the taste: your attention will be focused on the chewing gum and help you take your mind off the problem.
7. Nature is your ally
In difficult and tense moments, it is very important to “move away” from the situation, not only mentally, but also physically. Find a quiet place where you feel comfortable and at ease, and think of anything other than what is bothering you.
If you have the opportunity to go to nature - do it! Forest, mountains, beach - everything that is available to you. Nature will help you relax.
8. Importance of exercise
How to become calm and keep cool in any situation? Move, be active! Walks are highly recommended. Depending on your fitness level, you can simply walk or go for a run - this is a great way to "unplug" from problems, release accumulated energy and clear your mind. ?
It doesn't matter what exercise you do, but even a short walk is always much better than being locked up at home alone with your thoughts. Physical activity helps to manage emotions and release endorphins, which makes us happy.
If you don't like running and prefer something else, you can find any other alternative - swimming, dancing, Pilates, or yoga - all of these activities help relieve accumulated tension and stress.
Exercise helps manage emotions and stay calm
9. Forgive, forget and keep a sense of humor
Sometimes we are faced with situations in which, for various reasons, we feel guilty and very worried about it.
In such cases, in order to remain calm, it is important to realize the mistakes made, to try to forgive yourself in order to get rid of this feeling of guilt. If we are sure that we have made a mistake, we need to be able to forgive ourselves and give ourselves another chance.
Try to see the positive side of things and approach the situation with a sense of humor. Laugh at yourself, over the circumstances, even if it seems difficult to you!
10. Congratulate and cheer yourself up!
You and I know that maintaining calm and equanimity in any situation is not an easy task. It requires patience, practice, desire and willpower - all these qualities will not let you feel defeated even when it is very difficult and everything seems to be out of control.
Congratulate yourself on what you have achieved! You did! You have shown yourself to be a mature person, able to manage your emotions and actions. Be proud of yourself! Even if you made a mistake in something, it's not scary, don't punish yourself - next time you can do better! In addition, mistakes allow you to know yourself, and if a similar situation occurs in the future, you will no longer repeat them.
What do you think is the best way to keep calm? How do you deal with situations when things are going badly? Are you the kind of person who counts to 10 mentally, or do you prefer to calm down with music? Or relieve stress and tension with a run or other sport? Tell us about it in the comments in the article.
Translated from Spanish by Anna Inozemtseva
Psicóloga especializada en psicologia clinica infanto-juvenil. En continua formación para ser psicóloga sanitaria y neuropsicóloga clinica. Apasionada de la neurociencia e investigación del cerebro humano. Miembro activo de diferentes asociaciones e interesada en labores humanitarias y emergencias. A Mairena le encanta escribir articulos que puedan ayudar o inspirar.
Magia es creer en ti mismo.
Wherever we are, and whoever we are with, there are some rules that are an integral part of human existence. They unite us, bind us, and when we adhere to them, we continue to be human.
1. Relationships are everything
People need to interact with people. We must love them, trust them, open up, learn from them, go to them and leave them. Growth takes place in society, in a common space. Don't be afraid to discover this space.
2. We all have a body. Learn to love it
There is only one body like yours on the whole planet, and it is yours. You own the absolute exclusive. Get to know him and listen to him. You can't take good care of something you don't like, so you need to truly love it. Remember to eat healthy and exercise.
3. We've all had our hearts broken at some point.
There are lessons to be learned. A broken heart means that the lesson is not fully learned, and you need to learn to be prepared for such life situations. Be thankful that someone got out of the way so that your person could come into your life.
4. Everything we need for a happy life is in ourselves.
Know how to analyze and understand what is bad and what is good. If you don't draw conclusions, the risk is that the same type of people will be attracted to you, you will constantly carry the same baggage and run in circles of the same relationships. Just a waste of time. Change the rules of the game!
5. Every person on the planet has to go through something.
Take a fresh look at things. If something no longer works for you, get rid of it. What will really work will quickly take the vacant place. At first it will be painful, but in the end everything is only for the better. It's like new shoes that you have to get used to. Don't hold on to those who are dragging you down.
6. There are bumps in every path.
And they need to either go around or jump over. In fact, there is a third option - to stand still, but it is unproductive. Jumping over bumps, you will feel uncomfortable, although this is the only way to the end and to the goal. The bumps and potholes will someday end, and there will be a smooth and smooth freeway ahead.
7. Sometimes you will feel lonely.
This is fine. This is what makes us human. You remember that every person on the planet has to go through something. Maybe not at the same time as you, and maybe not in the same way as you, but everyone has loved, lost, been sick, scared, or heartbroken. We all come out of these situations with bruises and scars. And we all get lonely.
8. Do something you can't stop thinking about.
If you can't stop thinking about something, it's worth a try. So take the first step. Stop guessing about what you have to lose and start visualizing what you have to win. And don't try to predict your path. When you do the right thing, you will have drive, energy, creativity and resources. But they will not appear in a vacuum.
9. You can't please everyone, and you can't please everyone. Therefore, save your time and energy for those who are dear to you.
We spend too much time with people we don't like because of commitment. Try putting a limit on this. You may not be able to quit a job you hate right away, but at least make it your goal. Life is worth spending on what pleases you and brings joy.
10. Love is hard. But it's your superpower
There are always plenty of reasons not to love. If your heart has been broken, you may not want to put yourself at risk again, but what you need to remember is that broken hearts heal. And you can and should love. It is in this feeling that human superpower lies.
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