The biggest obstacle to achieving a goal in life is fear. Learn how to get rid of fear and start living life to the fullest!
What danger is fraught with fear?
We experience fear in different situations, when a husband is away from work for a long time, when the children go on vacation, when there is an important meeting, etc.
However, fear not only causes unpleasant sensations and negative emotions, but also helps to ensure that our experiences are embodied in reality¹.
Fears and worries break through the protective shell - the aura², and we become subject to negative influences from others.
Below you will find an exercise shared by our reader Anna. It allows you to cope with any fears and ensure your own safety.
Before moving on to practice, a person needs to imagine some place where he will be comfortable and calm.
How to get rid of fear? From personal experience...
“I made a turret with an open door for myself. 10 steps down - this is in order to have time to relax. When I go down, I count the steps, starting from the 1st and up to the 10th. There is a closed door in front of me. I open it and immediately see a huge mirror.
Quickly, for a moment, I reproduce the negative in the mirror, immediately the mirror explodes into small pieces, and I draw in my imagination a positive picture - what I need. I look at her for a while, leave, close the door and go up the stairs, counting the steps. 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1".
Fear Release Technique
So, to get rid of fear, a person needs:
1. Sit down, close your eyes, relax.
2. Then you need to mentally go down the stairs and see the mirror.
3. A negative should be quickly projected in the mirror, and then this mirror should be broken.
4. After that, one should imagine a favorable situation, and mentally observe it for a while.
5. Then you need to climb the steps, counting them in the opposite direction.
This technique can be performed anywhere. After training, it takes only a few minutes. With a certain skill, if it is urgently necessary to get rid of fear, the technique can be carried out in the presence of other people and performed with open eyes.
This powerful method quickly allows you to calm down and tune in to positive events.
Anna Khakimova
Notes and feature articles for a deeper understanding of the material
¹ Read more about how our fears materialize in this article.
I am glad to welcome you, dear readers! The function of fear is to keep us alive, a kind of internal safety regulator. Therefore, we do not jump from rooftops without a parachute, we follow the rules of the road and avoid packs of aggressive dogs. But it happens that this regulator goes far beyond the limits, protecting us from everything, up to life itself, depriving us of the opportunity to enjoy it. Therefore, it becomes necessary to resort to various methods that provide relief from fear. And that's what I'm going to share with you today.
Where does fear come from?
Fear, at its core, is an instinct, the helper of all living beings. Due to the fact that man in the development of higher nervous activity went further than other animals, his interaction with the world became more complicated. Threats to health may not exist, but he, having experienced it once, will fantasize all kinds of dangers, even if they do not coincide with reality.
Since most of our problems in adult life stretch from childhood, if we do not work on ourselves, they can turn into phobias. They just control life, depriving all the charms and freedom. A person may understand the absurdity of their phobia, but still try to avoid it.
For example, a child was bitten by a dog, or simply barked, which pretty much frightened him. Since in our society it is not particularly customary to cry, especially for boys, parents could quickly begin to calm him down, not giving him a chance to relieve stress. Then this experience of horror is “pushed” deep into itself, and makes itself felt at every appearance of the tailed one, even if it is not aggressively disposed.
In extreme, severe cases, the phobia of dogs can become so strong that he may well stop leaving the house, even as an adult male. It all depends on the degree of trauma, the state of the psyche and whether it was possible to get support and relieve stress.
Top 15 Methods for Getting Rid of
1. Map of fears
12. Society
Find communities of people on the Internet with the same experiences as you, understanding that you are not the only one makes it a little easier. You will be able to support each other, share tips and life stories. It's easier to do it together.
13. Surveillance
The next time you experience a panic attack, focus and try to observe yourself and your feelings as if from the outside, isolate yourself from what is happening. This technique will help you pull yourself together and calm down.
14. "Brainstorm"
Write down absolutely all the thoughts that arise when you remember the subject of your phobia. So the subconscious will connect, you will “discharge” a little, and, perhaps, you will realize some nuances that will help you cope with your “tormentor” in the future. You can read more about this technique.
15. Autotraining
Check out the article on this one. Because auto-training just helps in such cases, besides, with its help you will increase self-esteem and become more confident in yourself.
Most importantly, do not ignore your condition, expecting it to go away on its own. Correction is necessary and will bring you relief, only for this you need to make an effort. So patience to you, strength and calmness.
That's all for today, see you soon.
Recognizing a person overwhelmed by fears is not at all easy. Not only patients of psychiatric clinics suffer from phobias, it turns out that many quite healthy people are afraid of heights, depths, darkness, etc. We do not know how to eliminate fears, but they can be neutralized.
The difficulty in achieving success is due to a number of reasons. Someone does not believe in themselves, and does not know how to gain confidence in their own abilities. Some do not make enough efforts, and they do not have enough perseverance, others even lying on the stove do not know how to overcome their laziness.
There are many reasons that prevent us from achieving our goals. Today we will touch upon a problem concerning the majority, if not everyone. And this problem is phobias, fears. Not always people who experience an obsessive fear of not being able to achieve success are exemplified by the stories of many famous people. But it is worth knowing that the degree of fear is different.
Sometimes it can take a lot of energy and strength, and sometimes lead to a mental disorder. Fears are different, in one of the previous articles the topic was already discussed - fear and fear of success. In this article, we will leave the specifics, look at the problem in general. Man is born fearless. A small child is not afraid to touch fire, stumble, fall, etc. All these fears come later. Along with useful fears, useless ones are often acquired. When they become too strong, they are called phobias.
Experts estimate that more than 10 million people suffer from phobias, but the fear of some to admit the existence of this problem makes it difficult to figure out the exact number. Professor Robert Edelmann, who studies human phobias at the British National Phobia Society, says: "It would be strange if everyone did not have some kind of phobia, but there is a more limited circle of people suffering from disturbing clinical cases of phobias."
How to get rid of a phobia
You can get rid of phobias, and in some cases even on your own, it is only important to correctly determine what exactly to get rid of. The recommendations will be of a general nature, because each specific fear has its own reasons. Do not focus on negative emotions. To do this, you need to cover them with pleasant memories or activities that give pleasure, to be realized in those areas that you do best.
Everyone, even the most timid little man, always has a field of confidence - that space, that time, those circumstances and conditions, that business, that person - with whom, where and when everything works out, everything is easy and nothing is scary. There is no need to achieve complete calm in any situation, to wait for fear to evaporate, for stiffness and excitement to disappear. Excitement, fighting excitement is just necessary for activity.
The fight is not with fear, but with its intensity. The more a person struggles to get rid of these obsessive thoughts, the more they take possession of him. Feeling fear is inherent in every person without exception. Fear is the oldest defensive response of all living beings to danger or its possibility. Paradoxically, the best way to truly get rid of fear is to admit that you are afraid and learn to live with this thought. Therefore, you need to acknowledge your fear and even immerse yourself in it, allow yourself to be afraid. And soon you will notice that its intensity gradually decreases.
Go in for sports. Physical activity and exercise burn off excess adrenaline. Hidden bodily disturbances, as well as insufficient fullness of life, often announce themselves with failures and discords precisely at the mental level. Accept yourself for who you are. Every person has all the good and all the bad, every quality imaginable. Recognize yourself as a single soul - changing, developing and infinitely different in its manifestations. The fear of oneself and one's manifestations was imposed in childhood by accepting only one's "bright" image. And this is just a truncated image of reality.
Surely there will be people who will consider that the best remedy for the emergence of obsessive fears is to never be afraid of anything at all. And they will be wrong: if only because, firstly, the absence of any anxieties and fears at all is just a sign of a psychiatric disorder. And secondly, of course, a phobia is not the most pleasant phenomenon, but it is probably better to experience fear “from scratch” than to lose your life as a result of reckless prowess or stupid recklessness.
Getting rid of intrusive thoughts
Exceptionally reason and the ability to think distinguishes a person from other living beings. The brain has made our individual more conscious than the rest of the inhabitants of the planet. The main goal of consciousness is to create the most rational methods of responding to the world around us. We can be aware of one part of our thoughts because we purposefully think about something. The other we do not control, and it remains in our subconscious. We do not always notice this part of the work of our brain, while it creates new, much more effective behaviors.
As a side effect, our brains, through the “creative” process, can generate truly strange thoughts that may surprise or even alarm. I want to move away from such ideas as quickly and efficiently as possible. Let's look at how to get rid of obsessive thoughts and achieve clarity of mind. It is not always possible to cope with this task on your own. However, there are a number of exercises, among which you can choose one or more that are optimal for yourself.
How to get rid of intrusive thoughts
First, you can try to express your emotions. If disturbing thoughts have taken possession of your mind, it is enough to list them. It is this method that the gestalt therapist Nifont Dolgopolov advises. In the event that you are haunted by thoughts like “I don’t have time to do something ...” or “I worry about something ...”, you need to remember the circumstances in which you had these feelings.
Perhaps, taking on some business, you suspected that you would not have time to finish it on time. You need to try to express your emotions very clearly. It will not be superfluous to strengthen them with body movements, shades of intonation and gestures. This procedure is best done where you will not be disturbed. Nifont Dolgopolov states that restraining emotions causes thoughts to constantly revolve around this problem. After a person has the opportunity to express his emotions, the endless cycle of thoughts stops.
The second method, which helps to get rid of obsessive thoughts, is based on proper breathing. In order for disturbing ideas to leave your head, you need to close your eyes and begin to breathe measuredly and calmly. While doing this procedure, listen to your body, follow its movements, control your breathing, watch how your stomach rises and falls.
Wellness expert Lelya Savosina, telling how to get rid of obsessive thoughts through breathing, says that during this exercise it is better to focus on bodily sensations. The procedure helps to focus on something detached and relieves tension in the muscles. Another way to get rid of obsessive thoughts is the following technique. You need to take a piece of paper and start writing on it whatever comes to your mind. No need to choose words and focus on spelling. You will be able to watch how your stroke turns from choppy and sharp to smooth.
This will mean that you are gradually reaching inner balance. Psychotherapist Alexander Orlov claims that this exercise allows you to look at experiences from a different angle and gives vent to emotions. The same practice is used in the method of free association and the method of directed imagination. The basis of psychotherapy is free and trusting communication, during which everything that disturbs and excites is said.
Staying mindful is another way to ensure that intrusive thoughts are eliminated. If a person is immersed in inner experiences, he begins to perceive worse what is happening around. This mechanism also works vice versa. Existential psychotherapist Maria Soloveichik advises focusing on the objects and events around you immediately after you notice that you are trapped in obsessive thoughts.
You can turn your eyes to the most insignificant little things like a leaf on a tree. If you do not focus on such details, you will again return to the sphere of thinking. Once you have noticed this reaction in yourself, take up careful observation again. Try to expand the field of your perception.
For example, after the leaf, start looking at the crown of the tree, switching to small details from time to time. Change your focus periodically. Let not only trees, but also people, houses, clouds and other objects fall into your field of vision. This technique can make your life much easier, as it will be much easier to deal with obsessive thoughts.
Many who are fond of psychology know that a person is constantly in one of three states of his inner "I": Parent, Child or Adult. Everyone tends to make decisions like an adult, to help and care like a parent, and to obey and act up like a child.
Doctor of Psychology Vadim Petrovsky states that the constant scrolling of obsessive thoughts is an endless communication with one of the "I". In order to effectively reduce the notorious internal dialogue to nothing, one should learn to understand who is currently speaking from these three “Selves”. In the case when your thoughts are focused on the scenario of failure, most likely your inner voice in the form of a parent is talking to you.
Transactional analyst Isabelle Crespel argues that in such a situation, you need to get the critic to start speaking in the tone of a mentor who tells you how to do the right thing and how to make the right decision. At the same time, you need to mentally support yourself with motivating phrases like "Be sure that everything will work out", "You can do everything." Such an internal attitude will help to concentrate on constructive solutions.
Answering the question of how to distract from obsessive thoughts, it is worth mentioning another method, which is to ask yourself questions. In most cases, we are not worried about real difficulties, but only about perceived problems. The author of the “Work” methodology, psychologist Kathy Byron, advises, if it is impossible to change reality, try to change thoughts about it. She suggests asking yourself four questions: “How true is this?”, “Am I 100% sure that this is true?”, “How do I react to these thoughts?” and “Who would I be without these thoughts?”
Let's say you have no idea how to do the right thing because you think that someone will be upset or angry. By working with the above methodology, you will come to the conclusion that no one will be angry with you and that you have thought it up yourself. In another case, you may realize that thinking about someone's dissatisfaction is just an excuse for laziness and inaction. Such a technique will help to understand the relativity of many of our beliefs, change the angle of perception and discover completely unusual solutions to certain problems.
Since it is not always possible to remove obsessive thoughts, you can practice meditation as a way to get rid of unnecessary worries. Yoga coach Natalya Shuvalova is sure that a person concentrates on good and bad thoughts. Meditation, on the other hand, helps us focus solely on what benefits us.
You can focus on your breath, a particular symbol, or even a sound. To begin with, it will be enough to learn to observe detachedly your feelings and mental experiences. Having previously taken a comfortable position, begin to follow all the processes that occur in your brain and body.
Let your emotions, thoughts and sensations flow by. You should not judge them, you just need to try to study them. Natalia Shuvalova says that it is very important to understand that we are able to control thoughts and emotions, and not vice versa. Observation turns off thoughts and frees the head from obsessions.
Another method that helps to overcome unnecessary ideas is the method of muting the sound. Alexey Sitnikov, a business consultant and doctor of psychological sciences, says that we present the most important events and memories for us as vividly and picturesquely as possible.
If we imagine the stream of thoughts as a movie, then the better the quality of the image and sound, the stronger the impact on us of this or that plot. Therefore, the most obsessive ideas and thoughts should be “viewed” with muffled sound and a fuzzy image in order to significantly reduce the level of its impact. This will greatly reduce their importance.
If exercises aimed at resolving the issue of how to get rid of obsessive thoughts do not help, it is likely that the latter have become so intense that the above methods do not give proper calm. Psychoanalyst Ksenia Korbut believes that it is correct to consider obsessive thoughts as a protective mechanism of the human psyche, helping to overcome frightening and unpredictable feelings.
They often occur in people who do not know how or are not able to show emotions. It is in such situations that a person tries to explain logically certain experiences or reduce them to something rational and understandable. In view of the fact that it is impossible to do this, we are forced to repeat them over and over again to no avail. In the event that you cannot distract yourself from obsessive thoughts, it makes sense to contact a specialist who will create the conditions for understanding the world of your own emotions.
Everyone is equal before fear
There are two types of fears: natural and phobias. The first type, under certain circumstances, is inherent in all normal people, the second is a pathology that is a disease and requires special treatment. If you do not promptly ask yourself how to get rid of fears-phobias, then this will cause a person to be inadequate and will restrain him in certain decisions and actions.
Mechanism of fearFear is a certain mechanism for controlling a person, capable of making puppets out of people. If a natural fear, which is caused by some real threat, makes a person analyze the circumstances, become more alert, thereby protecting himself from potential danger, then in the case of phobias, everything happens the other way around! Pathological fear begins to fetter our consciousness, depriving us of the ability to rationally reason and analyze the situation - we turn into a puppet, a phobia begins to control us. Over time, this condition begins to arise systematically, and then constantly ... People have to look for ways to get rid of fears. Otherwise, a person first becomes depressive (a passive form of phobia), and then mentally unhealthy, and this is the right way to the “yellow house”.
An attack of fear can be similar to a disease. For example, frightened, a person begins to feel dizzy, and his breathing becomes difficult, the heartbeat noticeably quickens, trembling begins throughout the body. In addition, the frightened person may sweat profusely, experience an attack of nausea and discomfort in the stomach. In this state, a person is unable to understand how to get rid of fear and anxiety, most likely, he will lose his sense of reality, thinking that all this horror is happening to someone else, but not to him! The worst thing that such a person can have is a phobia that inspires him with an overwhelming fear of death. This can drive him crazy, thereby provoking him to commit any actions that are dangerous both for himself and for those around him.
All this is fantasy...
Remember, any phobia is a figment of your imagination, its game! There are no mermaids in the river who can grab your leg and drag you into the water; the walls of your apartment are not going to close and crush you at all, and in the bedroom under the bed there are no evil and furry creatures constantly watching you ... In general, do not pull the cat by the tail, but consult a doctor who will explain to you how to get rid of fears created by your wild imagination. We will only give a few tips for solving this problem.
So, here are some tips on how to get rid of the fears caused by our imagination:
- never think about your phobia, switch to other thoughts, preferably of a political nature;
- imagine how some of your idol would behave in this situation (for example, Jensen Ackles, or, at worst, Dmitry Nagiev), then imagine yourself as him, feeling your success and confidence to the fullest;
- draw your phobia on a piece of paper, depicting it not as terrible, but as humorous;
- push away your far-fetched fear by thinking of it as something useless and unnecessary.
If you still do not find a solution to the problem of "how to lose fear" - contact a psychotherapist. The doctor will do everything possible to return you to society, restoring harmony in life.
Fear is a powerful emotion with a negative agenda. In an instant, a person can lose the joy of life and become a slave to dark experiences. Find out how traditional healers drove away fear and returned the taste for life.
The mechanism of fear is built into human psychology by nature. In ancient times, this useful instinct allowed people to survive, but then turned into a real punishment. In the villages, folk healers performed rituals to rid people of unreasonable fears and prescribed soothing herbal preparations for them. Some of these recipes are still relevant today.
Folk councils recommend conducting a course of cleansing rites, since, according to most healers, negative emotions are the cause of the evil eye or damage. You need to start the day every day with dousing with charmed water. Type water in a container with a temperature that is pleasant for you, cross three times and read the plot:
“I wash my body, I drive away the evil eye. Holy water, wash away my fears, troubles, misfortunes. Amen".
Then douse yourself with water and cross yourself three times without drying yourself. After that, three times a day, you should take herbal infusion. Pour two tablespoons of lemon balm with two cups of boiling water, leave for an hour and take half a cup before meals.
Drive away bad thoughts
If you are haunted by bad thoughts and do not leave anxiety, you may have an evil eye. To neutralize it, folk advice on visualizing fear will help well.
Take the rye bread crumb and begin to slowly roll into a ball. At the same time, imagine how all your fears, irritability and despondency are going into it. Then put a ball of bread on a glass tray and leave for 24 hours. During this time, negative energy will concentrate in it.
Now take matches and start singeing bread so that fears burn out. After completing the procedure, wrap the crumb in a piece of paper with three crosses painted on it and take it out of the house.
How to deal with the fear of death
This kind of anxiety state in science is called thanatophobia, and healers refer to signs of induced damage to death. For no apparent reason, a person begins to constantly think about the inevitable death, ignoring the joys of life. Insomnia and nervous exhaustion develop, which can lead to suicidal desires.
Traditional medicine directs people with such problems to mediums and psychics in order to remove damage. But you can do it yourself. A good result will bring the power of medicinal plants. Herbal collection will give vitality and neutralize negative energy.
In a mortar, grind one tablespoon of dried hawthorn fruits, 3 tablespoons of red viburnum, add a pinch of mint and pour a liter of boiling water. Infuse for an hour and drink the infusion throughout the day.
If you are a victim of panic attacks and fear, don't give up. Remember, you are able to cope with this problem with the help of proven traditional medicine. Be healthy, calm and do not forget to press the buttons and
