Is it difficult to be who you really are, that is, yourself? Yes and no. Many will answer that it is difficult. The reason is the fear of seeming not what you are used to seeing.
You can't find your happiness by trying to be someone else.

1. What are you trying to hide?

Find what you are ashamed of. You cannot be yourself when you are trying to hide a part of yourself from prying eyes. Be clear about what you are embarrassed about and be prepared to be open about it. Being yourself means being willing to show yourself as you are, and not as you think others will accept you. Larry King immediately spoke about his shortcomings and this made it easier for him to communicate with any interlocutor. Often he didn't even have to, but his willingness to talk about his shortcomings made him a better conversationalist and made his life a lot easier.

2. Three basic things to be proud of

Be sure to be proud of the basic things: your first name, last name and work. If your name is Diarrhea Gavnov, change your name. If you work as an incoming proctologist in a receiver of homeless people, change jobs. In cases far removed from these, be proud of yourself. Having flaws is normal, constantly thinking about them is not..

3. One day you are on horseback, another day you are under horseback and vice versa

During the rise, we want to think that this will always be the case, but then there is always a decline. When we are down, we lower our self-esteem and cannot be ourselves. We are ashamed. There is no need to be ashamed of recessions, they are part of progress, you need to be prepared for them. The position should be something like this: “Yes, today I am without a job and I have nowhere to live, but in general I am awesome and it will soon be seen.”

4. Haste

If you are in a constant hurry, you yourself may forget who you really are. Hurrying means putting your habits and thoughts in the grip of time. You can't be yourself when you're in a hurry. Stop while running, turn back and say to yourself running after you “gotcha ?!” Make stops while talking to people. Slow down the pace. The rule here is: the more you hurry, the further you run away from yourself . If you are asked a point-blank question: “You have to make a decision right now. So yes or no"? The answer should always be “no”. Without regret. This is the price of happiness.

5. Life situations

Notice in what situations you are not yourself. A clear pattern will be visible very soon. The same people, places and circumstances cause you tension and out of character behavior. Next time, give yourself permission to relax in these situations. Relaxation means returning to yourself. Learn not to tense up when you are tense.

6. Your language

Don't speak formally. Express yourself simply. Genius is not to complicate a thought, but to express it as simply as possible. To be yourself means to stop dressing your thoughts in triple layers of thick words.

7. Listen instead of talking

Change the purpose of your conversations with people from “speak up and impress” to “listen and understand.” In order not to create additional tension in yourself with the obligation to “understand”, always keep in mind the rule: Understanding does not mean agreeing.

8. Be curious

Ask questions, be interested in what you are talking about with a person. If you do not understand, be sure to ask what your interlocutor meant. Ask difficult questions. Don't feel sorry for people, you think too much about them. Difficult questions, by the way, develop your environment. They will be grateful to you for them later. Being yourself means being interested in the world.

9. Love yourself

Not in words, but in deeds. Make yourself courtesies that no one sees. Self-love should not be shown, but secret. Flowers are for show. Expensive underwear (it also applies to men, especially men) is a secret. Later, the secret will be revealed, and you will decide to always be yourself, because that is how you adore yourself.

10. Exercises to be yourself

Answer honestly - why is it difficult for you to be yourself? Because you are trying to please others! You are a prisoner of someone else's opinion. There are exercises on how to become yourself and not depend on the opinions of others. One of the most effective is to sometimes intentionally take other people out of their comfort zone. They probably won't like it. This is "weight training". Deliberately inducing negative feelings towards yourself is as far from trying to please as it can be, which means it is a powerful exercise on the path to yourself.

11. Look into the eyes

Learn to look people in the eye when you talk to them. Dogs cannot do this. On an animal level, we are programmed to obey whoever holds the gaze the longest. However, don't turn your conversations with people into a meeting between two boxers before a match. Don't avoid looking, be prepared to "watch" to the end until you've finished your thought. The escalator in the subway is a good place to practice at the beginning.

12. Start writing your blog

The more frank, the better. The first candid posts will be painful for you. You will be worried about what people think of you and you will want to fit in. There will be a temptation to hide in the middle of humanity and not stick out from there. But with each new article and with each critical comment addressed to you, the opinion of other people about yourself will worry you less and less, and louder and louder, you will hear your own voice from within. You will begin to become yourself also because you will gain tremendous knowledge of yourself while writing articles.

13. Find and define yourself by their conditions.

Oscar Wilde once said with his usual wit: "Be yourself, all the other roles have already been sorted out." As funny as it sounds, this is a summary of the truth. At the same time, you cannot be yourself unless you first know, understand, and accept yourself. This should be your first priority.

• Take time to explore what you value in life and reflect on what makes you who you are. As part of this, consider your life and the choices you make. Try to understand what you like and don't want to do and act accordingly. Trial and error research helps more than you might think.
• You can even take personality tests, but treat them as an aid, not allowing them to fully define your personality. Make sure that your self-definition is based on your own ideas, and that you feel absolutely comfortable doing so. You may feel awkward, but over time, if you are surrounded by the right people, they will accept you for who you are.

14. In the process of finding your values, do not be surprised that some of them may contradict each other.

This is a natural result of adopting values ​​from various sources, including culture, religion, mentors, inspiring people, educational resources, and so on. In fact, it is important to work through these contradictions in order to determine which values ​​are most true for you.

• Just because your values ​​contradict each other doesn't necessarily mean you need to drop them. See it as part of your dynamic self. You cannot be stuffed into a box or protected in any way. You have values ​​in different aspects of your life, so it's natural for them to be different.

15. Don't dwell on the past by not allowing yourself to evolve.

One of the most unhealthy approaches to staying true to yourself is to make a decision about who you are dictated by a certain moment or period of time, and then for the rest of your life try to be that person from the past, instead of being yourself, but at the same time growing with each person who comes. season or decade. Allow yourself this space to grow, to improve, to become wiser.

• Forgive your past mistakes and actions that you are not particularly proud of. Work on accepting your mistakes and the choices you have made - they have happened and they are in the past. You had good reasons, these decisions made sense at the time, so instead of becoming attached to the mistakes of the past, allow yourself to learn from them and continue to grow.
• Look at the people around you who proudly claim they haven't changed a bit since they were 16, 26, 36 or whatever. Do they seem flexible, easy-going, happy people? Most often not, because they insist so zealously that nothing has changed, that they cannot perceive new ideas, learn from others and develop. Achieving each new milestone or stage in our lives is an essential component of self-confidence, emotional health, and integrity.

• If someone says that he does not like something about you, this does not mean at all that it is bad and that you need to change it. Depends on what exactly; it is often a matter of personal preference.
• Change is a continuous process. Change in your personality over time is inevitable, and it will happen in the best way, provided that you are aware of what is happening in the world and correspond to it, and make personal development a top priority in your life.
• Even if your friends look different, don't hold back. Be yourself and if they don't accept you for who you are, then are they really your true friends?!
• Trying to imitate someone just to get their popularity, looks and attitude can hurt you a lot. Be unique by focusing on your strengths, being inspired by others but not becoming them.
• Following fads and fashion trends is a personal decision for everyone. Some people avoid it like the plague for fear of losing their individuality, but that doesn't mean you stop being yourself when you decide to follow a trend. It all depends on what you end up wanting.
• Know that sometimes it is more profitable to go with the flow than to rest. For example: sometimes it's better to agree to go to a concert of a band you don't really like in order to have fun with your friends. You need to make concessions and respect the preferences of other people.
• Don't say you can't do something just because you can't please someone! This will not contribute to the cause in any way, and the person will easily figure you out.
• As you try to accept yourself, don't be discouraged by your flaws. If you can work with it, and even if you can't, remember that they make you who you are and help define who you are. Flaws are ultimately part of you too, so there is nothing to be ashamed of.
• When choosing an outfit, take a look at yourself in the mirror. Instead of focusing on your external flaws, focus on your strengths. This helps boost self-esteem.
• Don't let your friends confuse you or drag you into something you don't want to do. Be yourself and be true to your true self.

Often negative emotions such as impatience, anxiety, anger interfere with the achievement of our lofty goals. They have an extremely negative impact on our health and spoil relationships with others. How to learn to remain calm? If we learn to control our own emotions, our activities will become more successful and effective, and our relationships with others will become more harmonious.

How to learn to remain calm in any situation

We will give some tips to help you stay calm in any situation.

Don't exaggerate the problem. No matter how difficult a situation you find yourself in, don't dramatize it. Repeat to yourself that nothing terrible has happened, and you will definitely cope. Surely you can look at the problem from a different angle.

You need to carefully consider the situation and calm down. To keep calm, be alone with yourself, do not immediately share with friends, because their active sympathy can upset you even more.

List the factors that negatively affect your emotional state. It can be silence or noise, dusk or bright light. Knowing what annoys you and avoiding it as much as possible will make your life easier.

Learn to think figuratively. Try to imagine a perfectly calm person who is facing your problem. Consider what he would do in a similar situation. You can imagine yourself as a sane and calm person and, in the end, become one.

Create a calm environment around you. To learn how to stay calm, listen to music, turn off bright lights. Try to calm down before changing activities. You may need to drink a glass of water or take a few deep breaths to do this.

You need to remember difficult situations in which you managed to remain calm. Realize that you can remain calm in other similar situations.

You have to learn to switch. You should not think about the same thing - you can do something interesting for you or watch a movie. Being active helps you stay calm.

Don't forget your body's needs. Good sleep, exercise and a healthy diet will help you become calmer.

For peace of mind, rest on a day off, even if you have a lot of work. After a good rest, you will be able to return to work calmer and more efficient.

Human life is simply full of experiences. He is nervous from morning to evening. The consequences of this are nervous breakdowns, depression and stress. Work, home, rest. Everything needs to be thought about. In such a busy schedule, it is very difficult to remain calm. Before it can be saved, it must be developed.

7 secrets on how to stay calm

In order to learn how to remain calm, you need to relax more often.

The first step is to learn to accept failure. Not everything always goes as we would like. Even with the most unpleasant situations, you can find a way out. The main thing is to never give up. You have to find the positive in everything.

Smile. Laughter and joy make a person more balanced, calm. Smiling is not at all difficult and very effective. Smiling, a person begins to feel inner harmony.

Relax, meditation will help. By meditating, a person is freed from all thoughts that bothered him. He mentally rests, setting himself up only for the good.

There is no need to wait in vain. Don't focus on one thing. Thinking about one thing all the time, a person is nervous and worried, which negatively affects his nervous system. We need to pay more attention to joys, albeit small ones.

Enemies. These ill-wishers who do not want anything good. They are just waiting to be defeated. No need to pay attention to them, occupy your head with thoughts about them. This will only make the situation worse. You just need to do your job, go ahead and look at them from above.

It is very important to go towards success. To learn how to maintain inner peace, you need to pay more attention to positive moments. You need to confidently move towards achieving your goal. You need to act in such a way that there are more smiles than tears, but if there are tears, then let them be the tears of enemies.

To be calm, you must always be yourself. A person who is in search of a personality or repeats someone cannot be happy. He is busy not developing calmness, but searching for himself. This greatly slows down the development of the individual.

It is very difficult to achieve something alone. You need to enlist the support of those around you. If others believe in a person, he, feeling supported, will achieve success faster.

To learn how to remain calm, remember that calmness is such a trait of a person that you only need to develop, genetics is powerless here. Waiting for peace to come is pointless. Act and act again, only in this way can calmness be developed.

Title: Stay human in any situation quotes. The secret of happiness is to live as if every day is the last of our lives.

Love is an unknown thing that comes from nowhere and ends at an unknown time.

Love always surpasses faith in it. Everyday words: if you knew how much I love you! - contain a deep and infinite truth. W. Humboldt

One who has never experienced the ecstasy of betrayal does not know what ecstasy is. Jean Genet

Love and trust make a person free. Seriousness in love is the fear of its end. Wilhelm Schwöbel

Love is the only thing worth living for. Frederic Begbeder "Love Lives for Three Years"

One of the most amazing misconceptions is the misconception that a person's happiness lies in doing nothing. Lev Nikolayevich Tolstoy

Love never dies of want, but often of indigestion. Ninon Lanclo

Not the word, but misfortune is the teacher of fools. Democritus

The kindness of a woman, not seductive looks, will win my love. William Shakespeare

To be happy, you need to know love is not passionate, but voluptuous. K. Helvetius

Only love bought with money is worth nothing. E. Tarasov

Love endures for a long time, is merciful, love does not envy, love does not exalt itself, is not proud. Apostle Paul

Love is always a sacrifice. A real, sincere feeling of love always involves a sacrifice in the name of the one you love. Love without sacrifice is not love, but a big lie to yourself and others.

It is difficult to make a man happy by dooming a woman to suffering. Victor Hugo

The pursuit of science nourishes youth and brings delight to old age, decorates in happiness, serves as a refuge and comfort in misfortune. Mark Tullius Cicero

The need for happiness is embedded in man; so it's legal. Lev Nikolayevich Tolstoy

There must be love in life - one great love in a lifetime, this justifies the causeless fits of despair to which we are subject. Albert Camus

One thing can be said about the betrayal of friends - these were not your friends ...

Love is the triumph of imagination over reason. Henry Mencken

Real friendship is better than fake love!

Love is worth exactly as much as the person who experiences it is worth. Everything is clean with clean people. Romain Rolland

There is such love, which in its highest manifestation leaves no room for jealousy. Fr. La Rochefoucauld

Love is inside everyone, but it is worth showing it only to those who are open to you.

What a woman in passion whispers to her lover, In the air and on the water of fast-flowing write. Catullus

As rare as true love is, true friendship is even rarer. François de La Rochefoucauld

A tyranny even more terrible was connected with the forms of the family than the tyranny associated with the forms of the state. Nikolai Berdyaev

Love insolence should be manifested in deeds, not in words. Gestures are not as intimidating as speeches, and silence guarantees the purity of the relationship intellectually. André Maurois

Love can be expressed in a mirror way in the form of a projection of one's own virtues in a different space and body.

True love is like a ghost: everyone talks about it, but few have seen it. François de La Rochefoucauld

The stronger the love, the more defenseless it is. Duchess Diana Marie de Bosac

You would be compliant and indulgent to prayers if you had previously burned with love for someone. Ovid

The memory of the first love discolors the new love.

Love calms and pleasantly expands the heart, revitalizes it, while hatred painfully constrains and disturbs it. He who hates others - he torments, tyrannizes himself, he is more stupid than all fools, and whoever loves - he is blessed, always calm, cheerful and wise.

In the world of feelings there is only one law - to make the happiness of the one you love. - Stendhal

Not many of us can endure happiness - I mean, the happiness of our neighbor. Mark Twain

He who wants to acquire love must reject every evil and unpeaceful thought, not to mention deeds and words, must forgive everyone just and unjust insults.

A little daughter is a great happiness. Her eyes, cheeks, mouth. It is impossible to look at her without smiling. I want to give my life for her laughter ...

By seeking the happiness of others, we find our own. Plato

We crave the truth, and find in ourselves only uncertainty. We seek happiness, but find only sorrow and death. We cannot but desire truth and happiness, but we are incapable of either solid knowledge or happiness. This desire is left in our soul not only to punish us, but also to constantly remind us of the heights from which we have fallen. Blaise Pascal

Often pretending to be in love falls in love in earnest and, starting with pretense, ends seriously. All the more condescendingly should you women treat those who pretend to be lovers - the former imaginary lover will turn into a real one. Ovid

An old lover means so little to a woman that he is easily exchanged for a new husband, and a new husband loses novelty so quickly that he almost immediately gives way to a new lover. Jean La Bruyère

Only foolish people consider the path of love happy. Only those who give up everything in Her name will be able to stand on Her path. And having passed this path to the end, he will find not happiness, but pain. But only those who have walked this path can say that they have lived. Maria Nikolaeva, "Alien Way"

Other women maintain day after day two love ties that are as difficult to keep as they are to break: one of these ties lacks a marriage contract, the other lacks love. Jean de La Bruyère

What's good: I get drunk quickly. What's bad: I'm getting a stomach ulcer. Frederic Begbeder. Love lives for three years

There are many women in the world who have not had a single real love affair in their lives, but very few who have had only one. François de La Rochefoucauld

The surest sign of falling in love is that a man prefers misfortune with his beloved to any happiness without her. Clive Staples Lewis

Love is a disease, the symptoms of which each time manifest themselves in different ways. André Maurois

Women, although they attach great importance to friendship, forget about it; men are distrustful of her, and lovers are jealous. Paul Charles Joseph Bourget

Excuse me, did happiness pass anywhere here?

Of the passions, the strongest, evil and stubborn is sexual, carnal love, and therefore if the passions are destroyed, and the last, strongest of them is carnal love, then the prophecy will be fulfilled: people will unite together, the goal of mankind will be achieved and there will be no need for him to live. L. N. Tolstoy

Love is the only feeling in which everything is true and everything is false; say any absurdity about it and it will turn out to be true. S. Chamfort

Love is a debilitating disease, and in it a cure arises from it, as it works. Ibn Hazm

Misfortune is an opportune time for virtue. Lucius Annaeus Seneca (the Younger)

Falling in love is the firm knowledge that happiness exists. A. Kruglov

In the world of evil, stupidity, uncertainty and doubt called existence, there is one thing that is still worth living for and that is undoubtedly as strong as death: that is love. G. Senkevich

Love is stupidity done together. Napoleon I Bonaparte

Alas, love is always either too little or too much.

No person is able to understand what true love is until they have been married for a quarter of a century. Mark Twain

The happiness of a woman is when you have been together for a long time, and every day begins with mutual words: I love you madly.

To become happy, you need to constantly strive for this happiness and understand it. It does not depend on circumstances, but on you. Lev Nikolayevich Tolstoy

In response to love, a virtuous woman says: no, passionate - yes, capricious - yes and no, coquettish - neither yes nor no. F. Soulier

Love grows from waiting for a long time and quickly goes out, having received its own. Menander

To admire yourself, you need to forget about the past. Ovid

Instill love with whatever you want, and support with your mind. I. L. Goncharov

Unbelief in a person is a misfortune, a fatal disease. Mikhail Mikhailovich Prishvin

Faithful love helps to endure all hardships. Fr. Schiller

In VK, many people talk about love, but only a few have seen it ...

Your first task, rookie of the Venus army, Meet the desired object, choose someone to love. The second thing is to achieve love from the one you chose; The third is to be able to save this love for a long time. Ovid

To be completely happy, it is not enough to have happiness, you must also deserve it. Victor Hugo

A family is like a balloon - someone is obliged to manage, but there is no way without ballast. A. Markov.

Love has never stopped anyone from realizing their dreams. Paulo Coelho, "Maktub"

Mobile phone turned off. She smeared mascara all over her face. Yes, we are similar. But we put different concepts into love.

Love, love, when you take possession of us, you can say: sorry, prudence! Jean de La Fontaine

Woe to the man who tries to bring sincerity into love. George Sand

Child love wants to be nurtured; mother love wants to nurture herself.

It is better to love and lose love than never love at all. Alfred Tennyson

Love transforms everything, and makes the foolish wise. Love transforms everything: eloquence gives to the silent, sweet love can turn old men into youths. Love breaks strength, but teaches the weak to be strong, love also knows how to breathe courage into the timid. Erasmus of Rotterdam

A woman's love, both in its source and in every manifestation of it, is a product of sensation. Josef Görres

Love should not cloud, but refresh, not darken, but brighten thoughts, since it should nest in the heart and mind of a person, and not serve only as fun for external feelings that give rise to passion alone. J. Milton

I love two things: You and Love. Marina Tsvetaeva

In search of joy and happiness, a person runs away from himself, although in reality the real source of joy is in himself. Shri Mataji Nirmala Devi

Who can hide love? Ovid

Love is a wise invention of nature: the one who loves easily does what he must. W. Schwebel.

The life of the world is enriched by all the love that people have lost. Rabindranath Tagore

Friendship sees everything and pays no attention to anything. Love pays attention to everything and sees nothing. Shpolyansky.

When we ourselves love, the word love is synonymous with self-sacrifice and renunciation. When the neighbors who live behind the wall love, this word means conceit and impudence. O.Henry

Your love is too heavy. - Too heavy? Love is either there or it isn't. Easy love is not love at all. Toni Morrison "Beloved"

In love adventures, there is anything but love. L. La Rochefoucauld.

Love transforms existence into life. Andrey Lavrukhin "Canons"

Betrayal is as much an integral part of politics as a dagger is of weapons. Victor Hugo

in the future, she loves only love. F. La Rochefoucauld

There is no better teacher than misfortune. Benjamin Disraeli

We do not know how to use happiness if we do not plant it, just as we do not know how to use wealth without earning it. George Bernard Shaw - Be human in every situation quotes.

Passion is a quality characterized by love without knowledge. Ambrose Bierce

Love is not harmful. Only selfishness multiplied by comfortable coexistence can be harmful. Lev Nikolayevich Tolstoy

Love is all we have, the only way we can help another person. Erasmus of Rotterdam

How to be human in any situation Remember that in any situation you need to try to remain human. No matter what events happen, no matter how what is happening unsettles you, you should not lose your face and change your own principles. Instruction 1 Do not forget about politeness. Treat the people around you properly. Remember that a well-mannered person can be seen by how he communicates with other members of the society in which he lives. Next to an intelligent person, some individuals themselves begin to behave better. 2 Respect yourself and others. In order to remain human under any life circumstances, it is important to treat yourself well. When a person appreciates himself, he will not allow himself to lose face. The same goes for other people. If you treat them with respect, you can expect similar treatment from them. But tact is the first condition for civilized relations between members of society. 3 Don't lose your dignity. If some individual provokes you and tries to drag you into some kind of scandal, do not become like him, do not stoop to the level of a boor. Remember that inner strength is not manifested in aggression, but in the ability to do without its manifestations. Believe me, if you succumb to someone else's influence and lose your temper, you yourself will then be hard and ashamed. 4 Try to stay calm. Learn to control your own emotions. Get in the habit of not being led by your feelings, but assessing the situation first. Perhaps, after you realize that what is happening is not worth it to be so upset about it, you will be able to manage yourself more easily. Use breathing exercises to calm down at the right time. 5 Remember the benefits of a positive attitude. Try to focus not on the negative aspects of life, but on its merits. Think more often about how beautiful reality is, how much good you have, what wonderful, loving and understanding close people you have next to you. Look for the good in everything, and it will be easier for you to be yourself in a difficult situation. 6 Make your choice. Create your own value system. Decide what is important to you in life. For a person who wants to be happy, spiritual comfort is necessary. If you go against your own principles and beliefs for the sake of fleeting pleasure or profit, a conflict with your own conscience is inevitable. If you don't want it, always stay true to yourself. 7 Look up to the best. Some people allow themselves to deviate from personal rules because they see how unprincipled and dishonest others behave. If we take someone as a standard, then let it not be an individual who has lost his human appearance, but your idol, who has shown willpower, justice and strength of character. Get inspired by the biographies of great people. When faced with a moral choice problem, think about what your ideal would do.

Life is surprisingly diverse and rich, unfortunately, not only positive, but also negative events. Everyone wants to remain calm in any situation, but not everyone succeeds.

From the very beginning, the task should be clarified. Do you want to remain calm in any situation? Most likely only in negative(disturbing, angry, annoying, frightening, etc.) situations? It is unlikely, for example, that a girl, having heard a marriage proposal, will think: “No joy! Peace, only peace!" In pleasant and positive situations, on the contrary, you want to be as restless as possible. From happiness, people jump to the ceiling and shout "Hurrah!" publicly.

Perhaps the task is even narrower. Not "Stay calm in any negative situation", but "Learn not to cry" / "Learn not to be offended" / "Learn to control anger" and so on, depending on what specific problem worries.

The more exactly if you manage to determine the task, goal, direction of work on yourself, the better.

You need to understand that reaching a state where absolutely nothing disturbs or worries is tantamount to depriving yourself of all emotions, both good and bad.

A dispassionate person cannot, while maintaining Olympian calm in a stressful situation, immediately become expressive, emotional and sensitive in a positive one. To become completely serene is a super-task, which only Buddhist monks aspire to.

No need strive for absolute calmness in any situation. The calmness that is worth striving for is, in fact, the ability wisely, with understanding and acceptance look at the unpleasant things happening around and the negative emotions that are born in the soul.

Calmness as a skill and character trait

Calmness differs from emotionlessness in that the person who feels it feels an exciting emotion, is aware, but knows how to control it, he is not insensitive, but balanced.

The ability to remain calm in an exciting situation is connected with the ability to control emotions. In many ways, these two skills overlap. To learn how to control your emotions, read the article. There you will also find additional practical advice on how to stay calm.

It is easier for some people, by virtue of their character and temperament, to remain dead, for others it is more difficult. The ability to remain calm also depends on the most exciting situation, its scale, duration, repetition and complexity.

Calmness requires experience, mental strength and wisdom, which is why the older the person, the calmer he is. Calmness itself comes with age, but it can be learned, and at any age.

Learning to be calm means secure yourself in advance from various future stresses and anxieties. Prevention is always better than dealing with the problem that has already arisen. But difficulties are different, therefore, one hundred percent guarantee that having learned calmness, you will be able to cope with any excitement, No.

It is clear that what more often and better be able to remain calm in stressful situations less Situations like this are going to be exciting!

Mastery of any skill is education, involving repetition of actions, training and consolidation of acquired knowledge in practice. Once a habit has been developed, it becomes a habit, and the habit will affect the character. In this way, you can come to peace as character trait.

What kind of knowledge is this, the application of which in practice will help to remain calm in any problem situation?

Three rules of peace

In order not to be nervous and remain calm in an exciting situation, psychologists recommend remembering regulations:

1. Stop signal rule. It is recommended to come up with a certain signal for yourself, which will become a lever for switching to the “calm” mode. It would be nice to remember in what situations it turned out to quickly regain calmness. What kind of situation is this and with what (with what object, action) is it associated?

For many people, the signal to bring themselves into a balanced state is phone ring.

Example. The wife yells at her husband and breaks the dishes, but suddenly her phone rings and no one wants to talk to her, but the boss. Will the woman be able to calm down? In a fraction of a second! Not just calm down, but completely change, become friendly and sweet!

In moments when anxiety overcomes, a sobering and returning bell should “ring” in the head. Any image can be such a signal: a light switch, a light bulb, a knock on the door, an alarm clock, a fan turning on, falling snow - anything that is associated with the need to calm down or calmness.

1. Rule "Don't rush!" Whoever understands life is in no hurry. Haste reduces the quality of the actions performed, and their number does not increase at the same time (it only seems!), but the most important thing is that hasty body movements overstimulate the brain, which is expressed as excitement, fuss, panic, anxiety, aggressiveness.

In order not to feel the rush and excitement in a stressful situation, you need to move, take actions and talk in medium or slow pace. No running and screaming!

It is better to change the habit of speaking loudly and very quickly to a calm and measured speech half a tone quieter. You need to speak in such a way that your own ears enjoy it.

In order not to rush anywhere, you need everything in advance to plan and count. In an extraordinary situation, you need to act quickly, but not hastily, to believe that everything will be in time, and not worry: “I won’t have time!”. Panic never leads to a positive result.

In the end, if it happened to be late somewhere or not to be in time for something, it means that it was necessary and this is for the best; it means that in the subconscious there was a setting “Something unpleasant is waiting there” and in fact, I didn’t really want to appear on time or have time!

Everything will work out! Everything always happens on time!

1. The rule "Analyze, not dramatize!" Too many people, overcome by negative emotion, begin to exacerbate the situation: “This is how it always is!”, “All of you are like that!”, “No one loves me!” - it's all exaggeration.

You won't be able to keep calm if you don't start analysis situation, but start complaining, indignant, objecting, crying, and so on.

Logical analysis switches the brain into “thinking” mode, from emotions to reason. Instead of immediately calling a girlfriend and complaining about fate, it is better to think about the situation alone.

Talking about a problem is good only once, everything else is turning a fly into an elephant.

What happened, happened, it doesn't matter anymore. It's important what to do now how to solve the issue. It’s definitely impossible to solve the problem with excitement and violent emotions, you need to think about how to eliminate the consequences and prevent a recurrence of such a situation.

If you have to worry not because of a particular situation, but because of general situation(in the family, at work, in the country) helps to calm down question“Does this excitement make my life better and happier? Will something change for the better because I'm worried?

It is impossible and unnecessary to control everything and influence everything! Excitement in a situation where nothing can be changed should be replaced by an effort of will with faith in the best and a revision of views on the problem.

Calm Techniques

Without thorough work on oneself, it is difficult to learn how to remain calm in difficult situations, but there are auxiliary techniques and tools that can greatly facilitate the process of self-control and management of emotions.

Helps to calm down:

1. Proper breathing. This is an even, deep, diaphragmatic breathing, when the stomach rises when inhaling through the nose, and retracts when exhaling.

2.Aromatherapy. Scented candles, aroma lamps, oils - there are many ways to soothe your inflamed mind with the smell. A simple example: most people associate the smell of tangerines with a holiday, it will surely help to relax.

1. Reading. While reading, the brain works in a special, soothing frequency mode, a person is distracted from the outside world and plunges into a fantasy world.
2. Music. Everyone has their own special compositions that can soothe and uplift the mood. There are also melodies specially created for relaxation, relaxation, sleep, quiet work (they can be easily found on the Internet).
3. Physical exercise. A great way for those who like to get hung up on thoughts about a problem. When muscles work, a lot of energy is released, including negative energy. All the restlessness that accumulates in the body is released as a result of alternating tension and relaxation of the muscles. It is not necessary to play sports, just cleaning the house is enough to properly strain physically.
4. Water. A shower or bath will help in the morning and evening, and drinking clean water during the day. Water improves metabolism, makes the brain work more actively, and harmonizes the nervous system.
5. hobby. This is a way to compensate for negative experiences with positive ones and get distracted.
6. Comfort. Anything can annoy: tight shoes, hot clothes, an uncomfortable chair, someone screaming, music, unpleasant smells, and so on. People sometimes do not even notice these stimuli or ignore them, and in the meantime, they continue to shatter the nervous system. Maximizing the conditions, you can calm your nerves. If possible, you need to eliminate irritants and add calming elements to your atmosphere and environment.
7. Walks in the open air. Oxygen improves brain function, and moving forward is associated with moving towards success. The ability to go out into the fresh air and walk in the heat of anger has saved more than one friendship, love and working relationship.
8. Dream. Overwork is a common cause of restlessness and nervousness, and sleep is the best medicine in this case.

And finally, if it is possible not to get into an exciting situation, it is better to avoid it, at least during those periods when there is a lack of strength for self-control.

Where do you most often lose your composure?