When misunderstandings arise in relations between employees or partners, while one of the parties or both simultaneously draw false conclusions from the current situation, this already serves as a signal of a possible conflict.

An employee of Aphrodite LLC breaks off his connection with a work colleague - this is an obvious signal of an emerging conflict.

It is also possible that an employee of Aphrodite LLC expresses a prejudiced opinion about his employee, partner or comrade, as a result of which a state of psychological tension arises between them, which is an obvious signal of an impending conflict situation.

One of the examples of a constructive conflict that took place in Aphrodite LLC is a conflict that arose between two managers responsible for the company's advertising campaign. Managers had disagreements about the company's advertising campaign: one manager was inclined to believe that the main emphasis should be placed on advertising in the media, the other - on advertising on television. In this situation, there was a positive rivalry between the creative potentials of two people.

In this situation, it is necessary to recommend to the director of Aphrodite LLC to assign to each of the managers the functions from the field of advertising for a certain means of its distribution, that is, one manager will be responsible for advertising in the media, and the other for advertising on television. The director must reserve the choice of means of advertising distribution. This will speed up the decision-making process, strengthen the personal obligations of employees to perform work through participation in management.

One example of an organizational conflict is a conflict situation between the chief accountant and the director of Aphrodite LLC. As a result of an audit conducted by the State Tax Inspectorate, violations in accounting and reporting were revealed. The organization was fined. It should be noted that accounting in the organization was conducted in accordance with the accounting policy approved by the director. A few months before the audit, the chief accountant tried to warn the director about the existing violations, but the director did not find time for this conversation.

After a fine was imposed on Aphrodite LLC, the director, in the presence of the entire team, accused the chief accountant of incompetence, inattention and lack of professionalism. The chief accountant found it impossible to continue working in such conditions and applied for resignation of his own free will, but since he was a good specialist, and he would have to look for a replacement for a long time, the director was forced to apologize. In order to apologize, he found it inconvenient to call the chief accountant to his office and he himself went to the accounting department, where, in addition to the chief accountant, there were two more accountants. The chief accountant accepted the director's apology, and the conflict was settled.

In this case, the conflict arose because the director did not understand his mistake. Subjective reasons for this conflict: psychological incompatibility of people, character traits, inability of the boss to work in a team.

The director of Aphrodite LLC can be advised the following: learn to be more restrained with your subordinates, start listening to their advice and comments about the organization’s performance, it’s also not correct to maintain your authority at the expense of subordinates, insulting them in the presence of the remaining team, moreover, when the guilt of the chief accountant was minimal. The boss should create a favorable climate in the organization, and not violate it.

The chief accountant, in turn, needed to be more persistent in involving his superiors in his question, since he knew that the violation would be discovered and all the blame would be on him.

There may also be conflicts between employees of Afrodita LLC and the administration of the enterprise.

In 2010, 14 people were dismissed from the enterprise. for various labor violations, which may indicate poor organization of labor activity by the administrative bodies of the enterprise.

Also, a conflict is possible in Aphrodite LLC, due to non-fulfillment of the wage plan. Thus, the average salary of one employee of Afrodita LLC for 2008 amounted to 111 thousand rubles, which is 52 thousand rubles less than the planned figure. A decrease in wages will lead to a decrease in the motivation of workers in work. This can lead to significant financial losses in the enterprise, which in turn will lead to general irritation and the emergence of new conflict situations.

All employees of Aphrodite LLC, including managers, are required to undergo training in labor protection rules and testing knowledge of labor protection requirements. For all persons entering work, as well as for persons transferred to another job, the employer (or a person authorized by him) is obliged to instruct on labor protection, organize training in safe methods and techniques for performing work and providing first aid to victims.

This is important, firstly, in order to reduce the likelihood of injuries at work due to the fault of the employee, once again check whether all equipment and workplaces meet the requirements, and injuries for this reason are excluded, and secondly, to avoid lawsuits in case of severe injuries to employees or pay for long-term worksheets.

The organization and work culture of managerial personnel in Aphrodite LLC must meet modern requirements. It is necessary that non-standard and new solutions be adopted and implemented, which will be discussed collectively during business negotiations and meetings.

Measures for the rational organization and maintenance of workplaces in Afrodita LLC should be aimed at improving their equipment, inventory and tools, ensuring normal working conditions at the workplace. Maintenance of workplaces, in addition, also involves the timely repair of equipment, maintenance of it, maintaining order and cleanliness in the workplace. Improving the efficiency of the use of retail space and storage capacity will contribute to their correct layout, equipping with appropriate equipment, and optimal placement of goods for storage.

At the moment, an important direction in the organization of labor in Aphrodite LLC is the study of working conditions, the development and implementation of measures to improve them, namely, a convenient work and rest regime for employees, improvement of psycho-physiological, sanitary-hygienic and aesthetic factors affecting a person in the process labor.

The productivity of workers is highly dependent on the level of work with personnel. In this direction, LLC "Aphrodite" provides for measures for the training and retraining of personnel in educational institutions or at an enterprise, advanced training of personnel; improving the quality of personnel; study and dissemination of best practices in working with warehouse workers; strengthening labor discipline; reducing staff turnover; moral incentives for employees.

Educational work with personnel consists in educating the employees of Afrodita LLC to have an honest attitude to their duties, to work; careful attitude to goods, to the struggle to reduce the loss of goods, time, material and money in the process of implementing the technological process.

Educational work should also be directed towards strengthening labor discipline. An analysis of the causes of violations of labor discipline makes it possible to determine the directions of this work. The purpose of educational work should be the growth of creative activity of employees of LLC "Aphrodite".

As experience at Aphrodite LLC shows, the technology for establishing partnerships between the administration and workers is as follows:

Establishing the best form of relationship;

End of confrontation;

Identification of barriers to establishing relationships;

Identification of the interests of each of the parties;

Development of joint actions;

Development of a strategy for their implementation, establishment of communications;

Revising existing relationships as the environment changes.

The participation of workers in the affairs of the enterprise, including in financial matters, contributes not only to increasing motivation, but also to improving the well-being of employees, improving their relations with the management of the enterprise, since this is one of the conditions for reducing employee alienation and for developing democratic relations, social stability in society.

For better work and mutual understanding of employees, it is necessary that information reaches them in the form in which the boss really wants to convey it. To do this, there are many ways, both at the individual and organizational level, to help overcome these problems. At the individual level, language should be used that is clear, concise and most applicable to the subject of the message. It also needs to establish trust. The message must be not only understood, but also accepted. Stamps and unnecessary classifications should be avoided and as much factual information as possible should be reported.

Of course, it is necessary to actively seek feedback in order to make sure that the information is correctly interpreted.

An enterprise can also train its employees in the art of communication through trainings that include various types of role-playing games and serve to improve the ability to speak, write or listen, and most importantly, to understand another's point of view.

Analysis of work on conflict management is one of the main stages in determining the type of conflict in the workforce. The general director of the enterprise and his employees should try to follow certain conditions to prevent conflict situations. First of all, there should be the creation of conditions that prevent the emergence and development of conflict situations. The manager monitors the work of each employee and, if it turns out that a person has no desire to work efficiently and efficiently, he is fired.

The next condition for conflict prevention is concern for justice. The director does not punish the innocent before doing something, he thinks very well what consequences will follow from his decisions. But this does not always work out, sometimes in the heat of the moment or without thinking, employees suffer undeservedly, although the leader himself is to blame.

It is desirable that relations in the team develop with the help of concessions, so that not only their own interests are taken into account, but also the interests of other employees of the enterprise. The willingness to give in softens a tense situation. And if the opponent is under pressure, it always causes resistance on his part.

It is also necessary to use the principle of clarity and benevolence. This allows you to avoid mistakenly attributing a hostile position to your opponent, as well as to neutralize or soften the situation.

Employees of Aphrodite LLC learn to manage their reactions, to restrain negative emotions in case of disagreements, but this is not always possible. They reduce the negative emotions of the opposite side in the following ways:

Willingness to move towards rapprochement of positions;

Positive assessment of some actions of the other party;

Critical attitude towards oneself and balancing behavior.

After that, the optimal strategy for resolving the conflict situation is selected.

12 conflict situations on the playground

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Probably, many of us had to become a witness or participant in an unpleasant situation on the playground. For some parents, this situation is a reason for inflating a real conflict in order to find out who is "cooler", and for others - an opportunity to show their child an example of behavior in society.

Young children do not yet have any experience of communication. They live by their feelings, emotions and desires and are not yet able to consciously control their behavior.

Therefore, finding themselves in a conflict situation, the kids do not hesitate, but act by inertia, in accordance with their temperament: someone gives in and silently moves away, someone cries and runs to their mother, and someone fights, pushes or bites.

The task of parents is to help their child learn how to resolve difficult situations so that he can defend his case and at the same time not infringe on the interests of other children. Those. teach him to communicate: how to play together, how to resolve a dispute, how to negotiate with each other, how to play in turn, how to change, how to ask or offer something, how to refuse a joint, how to provide assistance.

Consider examples of possible conflict situations.

Of course, it is better not to bring the matter to a conflict, but to try to distract the child in time, switch attention, take something else. But if a controversial situation arose, it is very important to provide your baby with maximum support and no matter how wrong his act may be.

This does not mean that you should say to your child something like: “That's right, you don’t need to give your little engine to anyone!” or “This boy is angry, he hit you, and you just wanted to take his ball!”. It is better to listen to the child, accept his feelings, voice them, explain what the other child feels, and show.

In any situation, the baby should know that he is always good, no matter what, although his actions sometimes leave much to be desired. Remember how Naf-Naf said: "The pig's house should be a fortress." For your child, the fortress is you - his parents.

Situation 1. They make a remark to you

Your little one carelessly splashes through puddles or rolls in the snow. And critical remarks about your parental "professional suitability" are pouring down on you from all sides.

Most likely, you feel an internal protest: “What right do these strangers have to criticize me! Moreover, in the presence of my child! Sometimes it's so hard to keep up. But it is useless to enter into an argument. The argument will not lead to anything, and everyone will have their own opinion. It's like arguing about where to enter the sea - everyone chooses where it is more convenient for him (the beach is big). So the argument is a waste of time and nerves.

You can do the same as the rabbit Kocheryzhka (in the fairy tale by M. Plyatskovsky), who answered very politely to the formidable remarks and threats of the Bear, Tiger and Lion: “Hello! Glad to see you". And the thing is that the rabbit's ears were plugged with cotton, and he did not hear anything! Why don't we follow the example of this rabbit?

Situation 2. Reprimand your child

You and your baby had a great time! The result is obvious: the baby is covered with mud from head to toe. On the way home, you meet the ubiquitous neighbor and starts to lament: “Oh-oh! How dirty you are! Is it possible to get so dirty?! Now Mom will have to wash all your clothes!”

A child can take the remark of a stranger very painfully. And if the mother does not stand up for him in time, as she did not stand up for the last time and will not stand up for the next one, this can make the child insecure and lead to the fact that he will begin to be shy and afraid of strangers. In addition, from now on, when other children talk badly about your baby, he will take it for granted.

Your actions (or) Prompt:

Translate the neighbor's censure into a more peaceful direction. In a friendly tone, tell her about the positive side of your walk: “Yes, we had a wonderful walk! Now we go home, happy, satisfied and, of course, pretty dirty. But is it possible to have a good walk without it?! It's good to be small!"

Situation 3. The child tries to return his toy

Your little one digs peacefully in the sandbox. Another kid comes up to him and takes his toy. Your baby is angry and tries to force

First, let's think about why children react so violently when their toys are taken? Answer
is simple: firstly, they are sorry to part with their toys, and secondly, they still do not understand that toys are taken for a while, and always return to their owners. And only after 3 years the child will begin to understand what property is.

:

Urgently separate the "tightly mated" kids.

Show your child that you are on his side: “Do you want the car to stay with you?”

Talk about the feelings and desires of the other child: “The boy liked your toy and would like to play with it a little. Let's give it to him for a while. You know how happy he will be! We turn to the boy: “Do you want to exchange toys?”

If your child does not agree to part with his toy under any circumstances, well, that is his right. Politely refuse the petitioner: “Sorry,<…>(boy's name)<…>(the name of his child) wants to play with his car for now.”

But if the conflict continues to grow, you can try to switch the children's attention to some kind of common game: load sand into the car with a tractor or play catch-up. And if the game is not getting better at all - to part it in different "corners".

Outcome:

Thus, we are not “obsessed” with the negative behavior of our child (to some extent it is even justified - he defended his property in ways available to him), but we show how to act in such situations. Those. not to fight, but to negotiate with words.

Situation 4. The child is crying and does not know how to get his toy back.

Your child is peacefully digging in the sandbox. Another kid comes up to him and takes your child's toy. Your baby is crying and running towards you….

Do not worry about the fact that your baby gives in to the "opponent". He will certainly learn to defend his property if you teach him how to do it. But not all at once, most likely he will resort to your help more than once.

Your actions (or) Prompt:

Sit down next to the baby, look into his eyes and voice his feelings and desires: “Did they take your toy away from you? Would you like to play it yourself? Then let's ask her back together." Or: “Are you worried that the boy will not return the toy to you? He will play with it a little and give it to you - it's your toy. And we, come on, while we build a fortress out of sand!

If your child continues to insist on the return of his property, then take your baby by the hand, go to the “offender” and say: “Baby, this is our toy. And<…>(child's name) wants to play it himself. Give it back, please."

If the baby is stubborn, again, you can offer to switch toys, but if no one wants this, just gently remove the toy from the hands of another child.

Situation 5. Your child took someone else's toy

There are a lot of kids walking on the playground. Toys are everywhere: here is a wheelchair with a handle, here is a car on a string, here is a baby stroller, here is a ball ... Your child comes up, takes the ball and invites you to play with it.

All children are very inquisitive, they actively explore the world, and there is nothing reprehensible in the fact that they are interested not only in their own, but also in other people's toys.

Your actions (or) Prompt:

If these are the toys of your familiar children, you need to approach the owner-child, and even better, his mother - she will definitely resolve it, and there is a chance that a conflict will not arise - and ask her. At the end of the game, it is important to draw your child's attention to the fact that the toy needs to be returned to its place.

If you do not know whose toy this is, you can loudly ask those present about it. If there is little chance of finding the owner of the toy, you need to briefly explain the situation to the child: “We don’t know whose toy this is, and you can’t take it without permission.” You can dream together how you would like him to have the same toy or a similar one, and then try to distract the baby to something else.

It happens that your child, by all means, wants to play this particular toy and is already anxiously pressing it to his chest, although the owner remains unknown. Then (to avoid loud crying) you can offer the child the following alternative: "We take the toy and go in search of its owner." Walk around with a toy, look, maybe you will find the owner, and if not, it doesn’t matter, your baby, at least a little, will play with it and then return it to its place (both the sheep are safe and the wolves are full).

Situation 6. Your child takes away a toy

Your baby goes to another baby and takes away a toy from him, he cries and
trying to get his property back. Or your baby was given something to play with, and now

In such situations, it is important to teach the baby to respect other people's property, so that the concept of “mine is yours” is gradually laid down and formed.

Your actions (or) Prompt:

Tell your child, “I understand that you want to play with this toy. This toy<… >(child's name), and he still wants to play with her. (It is advisable to build this phrase without the union BUT, since the child may think that his feelings are unimportant, because there is this "but ..."). You can ask her later when<…>(child's name) wants to play with another toy, but for now let's ... ". It is possible that after a while another kid will really agree to part with his “treasure” for a while.

Another option: We ask our child if he wants to swap toys with the boy, and if he agrees, we suggest that the owner of the toy make a temporary toy exchange with your child (it is better to offer several toys to choose from).

Situation 7. Your baby is on a yard swing

Your baby is swinging. Then another child comes up with the clear intention of rocking too.

In principle, since your child was the first to take the swing, they are still “his”, but within reasonable limits, of course.

Your actions (or) Prompt :

With the advent of a child who wants to swing on the same swing, you need to start preparing the child for the idea that the swing will soon have to give way: “Here's the baby, too, wants to swing, let's swing 20 more times and go ... (offer a worthy alternative: let's ride down the hill , we will spin on the carousels, we will swing this very baby on the swing)”.

If your baby is stubborn and does not want to give up the swing, offer him then to let the child standing in line play one of his toys. Or find a way to distract him.

Situation 8. Your baby wants to swing on a swing, but they are busy

You and your baby come to the playground. His attention is drawn to the swing, which of course turns out to be occupied ...

Now the situation is the opposite - the swing was occupied. You and your baby “stand in line” for a long time, waiting for them to be released, but the child swinging on them does not even think about parting with them.

Your actions (or) Prompt:

To get started, you can simply ask the swinging baby to give you a swing;

Offer a swinging baby an interesting exchange: he swings for you, you give him your bike;

Switch your child's attention to an alternative, but no less interesting activity.

Situation 9. Your baby can't fight back

Your baby is standing next to you, then another child comes up to him and for no reason beats him (pushing, biting, etc.). Your baby is lost and doesn't know what to do.

You must have a firm attitude: no one dares to beat your child, and your child must not doubt that this is really so. Therefore, all your further actions should be aimed at making it clear to your son or daughter what to do if his / her rights are violated.

But, perhaps, first he must get stronger and morally grow up to act as you advise him. Therefore, you cannot force the baby to follow your advice, otherwise the child will worry not only because he was offended, but also because he cannot follow your recommendations.

Your actions (or) Prompt:

If possible, prevent a conflict - intercept the hand of a swinging child, but if you haven’t already, then:

Squat down in front of your child, hug him, take pity, say: “It hurts you ...”;

Children are afraid of everything incomprehensible; therefore, explain to your child the behavior of the boy: “Probably the boy wanted to play with you, but did not know how to tell you this”;

Strictly tell the offender: “You can’t beat my son! If you want to play with him, just say: "let's play."

Outcome:

In this situation, you must teach the child to stand up for himself. At first, you will have to act as a protector of your baby in order to show him a model of future independent behavior. Always act on the same principle, but do not expect that after the very first “lessons” your child will give a worthy rebuff to the offender.

Situation 10. Your baby hits back

Your baby was pushed (hit, offended, sprinkled with sand). Without thinking twice, he gives change.

Children are emotional and, even if they already know that it is impossible to fight and voice it themselves, then in critical situations they act as their initial impulse tells them: to hit, push, take away, not give in.

It is preferable not to bring the matter to a fight and resolve quarrels through peaceful negotiations. But there are situations when there is really only one thing left - to fight back, because no exhortations work. And yet, if possible, offer your crumbs more peaceful alternatives.

Your actions (or) Prompt:

Say briefly to both: “You can’t fight!”

Tell us what action you think is right: “We need to negotiate, offer to change and play together.”

At home, beat the situation with toys, trying to convey the idea that you can fight back only after a warning and not hit hard.

Situation 11. Your child is bullying another child

Situation 12. Children who sort things out themselves

You were talking on a cell phone and for a while you lost sight of your baby. When he reappeared in your field of vision, it turned out that he was no longer alone, there were two of them (your baby and another baby) and they were arguing (or pushing).

There is often rivalry between children. Therefore, from time to time they begin to find out who is stronger, and they do it in different ways. In such a "disassembly" it is not worth finding out who started it first and taking sides.

Your actions (or) Prompt:

If the skirmish is on an equal footing, and there is no serious threat to the children's health (that is, if they are not fighting, they do not have stones or sticks in their hands) - wait and do not interfere.

If the conflict drags on, gains momentum, or a clearly suffering side is identified, one should immediately intervene and separate the disputants.

First of all, turn your attention to yourself: "... (the name of the child) and ... (the name of the other child), look at me."

Next, switch the attention of the children from the subject of their dispute to each other: “Look at each other.” You can turn your attention to some detail, as Mary Popins did: “Your button is undone. And your hands are dirty." It is possible that already at this stage the conflict will be settled, and the children will smile.

Express your feelings: "I like it when you play together."

Talk about future plans: “What do you want to play? What are you into?”

Suggest a common game.

Summarizing all of the above, here are some general recommendations:

Treat another child the way you would like to be treated yours.

Try to use forbidding words in exceptional cases. Instead of “you can’t break another child’s Easter cakes,” it’s better to say: “let’s make the same Easter cakes.” Firstly, because children perceive positive attitudes better. And secondly, “no” should be perceived by the child as really “no”. Absolutely and without discussion! Therefore, there should be few such prohibitions in the life of a child and they should sound relatively rarely.

Be sure to praise and encourage your child's positive behavior.

If the mother of another participant in the conflict situation does not intervene, you will have to resolve the situation yourself, if necessary, make a tactful remark to her child or call his mother to action.

Children do not like it when other children are set as an example to them or they are discriminated against by age in favor of the younger ones, so never compare your child with other children either in his favor or in someone else's.

During the conflict, the child is in an excited state and does not perceive information. But at home, in a calm environment, the baby will take your “moralizing” with more attention. Only this should be done in a confidential and relaxed manner: heart-to-heart conversations with the child, conversations based on plot pictures, stories about your childhood, role-playing games, dramatizations, reading works of art, etc.

Material for the lesson.

Rarely in which company there are no conflicts between employees. There can be many reasons: the difference in age, in outlook on life, the level of professionalism, personal hostility, and much more. In the event of a conflict situation, many prefer to be guided by the formula “If you don’t like it, quit!”, However, most controversial issues can be resolved without resorting to such drastic measures.

Let's consider several cases with the most common conflict situations that occur in the workplace. Anna Suprun, head of the permanent staff recruitment department at Coleman Services-St. Petersburg, Maria Fedorova, psychologist at the Echinacea medical center, Anastasia Selivanchik and Anastasia Yegunova, leading consultants at the recruiting agency Penny Lane Personnel and Larisa will tell you how to get out of a difficult situation. Chuguevskaya, head of the advertising and PR department at the Penny Lane Personnel recruiting agency.

Case 1.

In the accounting department, two employees work in one office. One of them is young, the other is near retirement age, but both are good specialists. Despite the fact that they work independently of each other, the older employee regularly intervenes in the work of the young one: she gives her advice, constantly talks about her lack of competence, and points out mistakes. In addition, a woman of pre-retirement age constantly pays attention to how a young specialist looks, trying to “reason” her in her own way. At the same time, the senior employee does this without malicious intent - thus, she worries about her "inexperienced" colleague. What should women do in this situation?

Maria Fedorova:

“Unsolicited advice and evaluation of appearance are perhaps the most common examples of violation of psychological boundaries. Each of the specialists bears his half of the responsibility for the current situation. A woman of pre-retirement age is to blame for violating the boundaries of a colleague, and a young employee is to blame for not defending them.

What is the internal mechanism of such behavior? An employee of pre-retirement age, giving advice and pointing out mistakes, as well as evaluating the appearance of a colleague, takes a "parental" position in relation to her, thereby going beyond the professional role. That is, behaving unprofessionally. After all, being a professional is possible only when communicating with colleagues on an equal footing. In order to return to the professional framework again, you need to stop taking a position "from above".

In turn, the young woman should begin to assert her boundaries. This can be done in a correct and professional manner. The scheme of behavior in this kind of conflict is quite simple. Firstly, first, the young employee needs to be presented with a fact (of unresolved advice, hurting assessment), secondly, to voice her feelings about this, thirdly, to ask not to do this again and, finally, to say what she will do if her the request will be violated again."

Anna Suprun:

“In this variation on the theme of “fathers and children”, an elderly employee, of course, should not take care of a young colleague with such zeal. But since she is acting from the best of intentions, then perhaps this thought should be brought to her. This can be done by the chief accountant, HR or administrative head. The result of a soft, sensitive conversation should be a firm conclusion about the limits that cannot be exceeded in the workplace. A young employee can be advised to be patient, indulgent and learn from experience.

Anastasia Egunova:

“The specifics of business relations in the office space are distinguished by the regularity of interaction between employees, the frequency and completeness of contact. Agree, one way or another in the office you have to delve into the telephone conversation of your colleague, which is purely personal. Therefore, openness, friendliness, and attentiveness to another employee are the basis of healthy business relationships, especially in a small team.

Obviously, an experienced accountant gives a young specialist an excellent opportunity to learn many subtleties and nuances of the profession, relationships in the team. At the same time, a senior specialist needs to understand that the mother-daughter relationship also has its own boundaries and frameworks. And advice on the appearance or personal life of your young colleague should be given in the most delicate form, without requiring their execution, since the junior accountant has the full moral right to put his mentor in her place and draw a demarcation line in the relationship. Of course, it is impossible to climb on the rampage, as happens with young maximalists, but you should definitely inform your colleague in confidence that she is offended by comments regarding her personal space. In any case, if the relationship between two accountants is based on mutual respect and professionalism, the situation will not reach obvious conflicts or troubles.

Case 2.

A new young leader is appointed to the department. At the same time, most of his subordinates are much older - the average age of the staff is 40 years. Employees perceive any decisions and attitudes of the young bosses negatively - they believe that the leader is not competent enough. The young man, in turn, understands that his subordinates treat him negatively, and wants to change this attitude. How can you get out of such a situation?

Maria Fedorova:

“In this situation, we see a common problem that many newly appointed leaders face. In this case, you can effectively manage a team only by entering a professional role. That is, literally, the boss needs to stop being a person and completely switch to the performance of his duties. Only in this way is it possible to return the work of subordinates to normal. To begin with, the manager needs to recognize the fact that he has lost his professional position in relation to his employees. Next, he should understand exactly what parameters of his role he does not comply with. After that, you need to return to the role, taking into account the shortcomings found, and communicate with subordinates only in this way.

Anna Suprun:

“I think both sides need to get over it. The negative effect of the arrival of a new manager will last no more than six months in the team. During this time, the topic will be raised a hundred times and simply bored by the majority. It will continue to be discussed only in the circle of "traditionally dissatisfied employees", and their percentage is insignificant. The leader needs to have an opportunity to demonstrate his professional maturity by this time.”

Case 3.

There is an employee in the team who considers himself the "soul of the company" - he constantly jokes, tells jokes, regularly goes on smoke breaks and calls half of the department with him. For most employees, this behavior seems inappropriate - not only is the joker's jokes far from always funny, but he also distracts colleagues from work. However, employees are embarrassed to directly ask the merry fellow to moderate his ardor. What should his colleagues do?

Maria Fedorova:

“In this situation, the difficulties are connected with the fact that human and professional relations are mixed up. Employees are embarrassed to say that the behavior of a colleague interferes with their work, because at that moment they are not in a "working" relationship with him. In this case, you can delegate this issue to the management, since the solution of such problems is within its competence, or look for a way out on your own. To do this, a conversation with the "soul of the company" must be conducted in the format "just business, nothing personal", emphasizing that his behavior does not suit colleagues precisely in a work context, and not in a personal one. Therefore, it is worth talking about specific actions, and not about a person, and also make it clear that outside of working hours his jokes are welcome and acceptable.

Anna Saprun:

“Probably, there is such an employee in every company, and periodically calling him to order is the task of the manager. If the work of this specialist gives a result, then I would not fight hard with him, because his energy can be directed for peaceful purposes: both in solving work tasks and to relieve unexpected tension in the team. At the same time, it must certainly be kept under control and, as in the good old Soviet cinema, from time to time returned "to the accounting department." An experienced leader will be able to do this without offending a person.

Larisa Chuguevskaya:

“A free reading of the theory of informal leadership allows us to assert that a full-time joker is a person who requires active emotional participation in his fate and, moreover, is unsure of himself. Accordingly, in order to "calm down" the merry fellow, these two traits of his nature must be blocked. First, you should translate communication into a working channel as much as possible and adhere to a strict, dry style. Secondly, according to the situation, one should try to compliment his professional success. Any sane employee will appreciate the delicacy of colleagues and clarify for himself the picture of collective relationships. Obviously, no one wants to boycott and change the status of the "soul of the company." However, such collective behavior will create fertile ground for correct conclusions. And perseverance, activity, an abundance of attempts by a joker to arrange not always appropriate fun during the work process will undergo a radical change.

Case 4.

The team consists of a manager and his assistant. The first regularly loads his assistant with work, and most of the time he sits on social networks, talking with colleagues and having lunch for a long time. However, he presents the final result of the joint work as his personal merit, for which he regularly receives gratitude and bonuses from his superiors, while the assistant remains in the shadows. How can the assistant get out of this situation?

Maria Fedorova:

“In this situation, the assistant faces a difficult choice: either he remains in the background, maintaining the “status quo”, or he begins to speak openly about this problem with the manager and higher management. True, in this case it is difficult to predict the result: an appeal to the authorities can result in both promotion and dismissal for the assistant. Therefore, when communicating with management, it is important to build your messages in a professional role, without getting personal and presenting facts, not judgments.

Anna Suprun:

“As you can see, the authorities do not delve into the life of the team, otherwise it would be clear to them who they really need to thank. The assistant should take advantage of the situation and gain maximum experience, which will undoubtedly be appreciated by his future employer.

Anastasia Selivanchik:

“For starters, an assistant should prioritize: he needs this job for career growth, for a line in his resume, or for gaining new professional experience in this field. For example, a graduate of the Faculty of Philosophy masters the profession of a marketer, and working as an assistant is the only way to gain experience in this area. Of course, you will have to endure a number of inconveniences until it is time to transfer the acquired skills and abilities to the next level - the marketing manager. And only after that it makes sense to ask for a raise from your management, and in case of refusal - to look for a new job. There is also an indelicate solution to the problem of relationships with the immediate supervisor: you can turn to higher management and try to explain yourself. True, in this case, you need to be prepared for a variety of options for the finale of this conversation.

State budgetary special (correctional) educational institution of the Republic of Khakassia for students, pupils with disabilities "Special (correctional) general education boarding school III, IV types"

teacher of history and social studies, CDO

Ten Tatyana Anatolyevna

Cards with an example of conflict situations for psychological and pedagogical training

"Methods of constructive solution of conflict situations".

Situation 1

English lesson. The class is divided into subgroups. In one of the subgroups, the teacher changed. When checking homework, the new teacher, without acquainting students with their requirements, asked them to answer the topic by heart. One of the students said that before they were allowed to retell the text freely, and not by heart. For the retelling, she received -3. which caused her negative attitude towards the teacher. The girl came to the next lesson without completing her homework, although she was a diligent student. The teacher, after the survey, gave her 2. The girl tried to disrupt the next lesson, persuading

classmates skip the lesson. At the request of the teacher, the children returned to the classroom, but refused to complete the tasks. After the lessons, the student turned to the class teacher with a request to transfer her to another subgroup.

Situation 2

A conflict arose between the student and the teacher: the teacher is outraged by the student's poor performance and gives him the opportunity to correct his grades with the help of an essay, the student agrees and brings the essay to the next lesson. First, not on the topic, but in the way he liked, although, according to him, he spent, according to him, his entire evening preparing him. Secondly, all crumpled. The teacher is even more indignant and in a sharp form says that this is a humiliation of him as a teacher. The student defiantly stands up and begins to swing his legs back and forth, holding on to the desk. The teacher first tries to seat the student, but, unable to stand it, grabs him and pushes him out of the classroom, then takes him to the director, leaves him there and goes to the classroom.

Situation 3

The math teacher delayed the class at recess after the bell. As a result, the students were late for the next lesson - a lesson in physics. The angry physics teacher expressed his indignation to the math teacher, as he had a test scheduled. His subject, he believes, is very difficult, and he considers it unacceptable to waste class time due to students being late. The mathematics teacher objected that his subject was no less important and difficult. The conversation takes place in a corridor in raised tones with a large number of witnesses.

1. Indicate the structural components (subject, participants, macro environment, image) of the conflict in each situation presented.

2. Determine the type of conflict presented in each of the situations.

Situation 4

Lesson in 8th grade. Checking homework, the teacher calls the same student three times. All three times the boy answered in silence, although he usually did well in this subject. The result is "2" in the log. The next day, the survey begins again with this student. And when he again did not answer, the teacher removed him from the lesson. The same story was repeated in the next two classes, followed by absenteeism and the call of parents to school. But the parents expressed dissatisfaction with the teacher that he could not find an approach to their son. The teacher, in response, complained to the parents that they did not pay due attention to their son. The conversation continued in the director's office.

Determine the behavioral styles of the participants in this conflict situation.

1. What style of behavior characterizes the teacher? Parents?

2. What style of behavior does the student demonstrate?

3. What style of conflict resolution do you think is the most effective in this situation?

Analyze the proposed situations from the point of view of the manifestation of the dynamics of the conflict:

Situation 5

Parents came to the kindergarten to pick up their son's documents. The child attended kindergarten for three days, after which he fell ill, and the parents decided to take the child. The director demanded that the parents pay for the child's stay in the kindergarten through the Savings Bank. But the parents did not want to go to the bank and offered to pay the money to her personally. The manager explained to the parents that she could not accept the money. Parents were indignant and, after uttering a lot of insults against her and the kindergarten, they left, slamming the door.

Situation 6

10 minutes before class starts. There is a teacher and several students in the classroom. The environment is calm, friendly. Another teacher enters the class in order to obtain the necessary information from a colleague. Approaching a colleague and having a conversation with him, the teacher who entered suddenly interrupts her and turns his attention to a 10th grade student sitting opposite, who has a golden ring on her hand: “Look, the students are all wearing gold. Who gave you permission to wear gold to school?!”

At the same time, without waiting for a response from the student, the teacher turned to the door and, continuing to loudly indignant, left the office, slamming the door.

One of the students asked, "What was that?" The question remained unanswered. The teacher sitting in the classroom was silent all this time, unable to find a way out of this situation. The student was embarrassed, blushed, and began to remove the ring from her hand. Turning either to the teacher or to everyone in the class, she asked: “Why and for what?” There were tears in the girl's eyes.

Analyze the proposed situations. Try to imagine possible solutions to them using the techniques from the set of prepared reactions.

Situation 7

During the meeting, one of the parents of students in your class began to criticize your teaching and upbringing methods. As the dialogue progressed, he began to lose his temper, angrily yelling offensive remarks at you. You cannot allow a parent to behave like this. What will you do?

Situation 8

On the street, you unexpectedly meet your colleague, who is officially on sick leave. It is her lessons that you are forced to “replace”. But you find her in perfect health. What will you do?

Situation 9

At the beginning of the school year, the school principal asked you to temporarily take on the duties of head teacher for educational work, promising additional payment for this. But after three months, the promised payment was not credited to you. What will you do?

Situation 10

At recess, a tear-stained student came up to you. In her opinion, you unfairly gave her an annual grade in your subject. What will you do?

Imagine what the teacher might do in this situation.

Situation11

At the lesson, the teacher several times made comments to the student who was not studying. He did not react to remarks, continued to interfere with others, asked ridiculous questions to the students around him and distracted them from the topic explained by the teacher. The teacher made another remark and warned that it was the last one. She continued her explanation, but the rustle and rumble did not decrease. Then the teacher approached the student, took a diary from the desk and wrote down a remark. Further, the lesson was actually disrupted, as the student continued to communicate with classmates with greater force, and the teacher could no longer stop him.

A PHOTO Getty Images

Alas, unlike sitcom characters who each time manage to resolve all conflicts with friends by the end of a 30-minute episode with the help of ingenuity and wit, we do not always manage to get around all the problems in friendly relations with such grace.

In reality, our opinions, observations and actions are different. This means that if we are friends with a person long enough, conflicts are inevitable.

At the moment when growing tension breaks out to the surface, we often panic, not knowing how to react: ignore the problem, hoping that it will eventually disappear by itself? try to discuss everything? wait and see what happens?

When we push a friend away, we often sacrifice emotional intimacy and, over time, risk losing the friendship altogether.

Those who tend to avoid conflict instinctively try to stay away from friends after a quarrel. At first, this may seem like a reasonable decision, because the distance will save us from stress or unnecessary clarification of the relationship. However, by pushing a friend away, we often sacrifice emotional intimacy and, over time, risk losing the friendship altogether. Not to mention, the accumulation of stress and anxiety is bad for our health.

Fortunately, there are ways to resolve conflicts without losing friends. Here are a few of them.

1. Discuss the situation as soon as the moment is right

At the very beginning of the conflict, when emotions are running high, it is wise to take a short pause in communication. It is likely that at this moment neither you nor your friend are ready to listen and accept each other's points of view. But this pause should not be too long.

Within 24 hours of the conflict, call or send a text message and express your regret in simple terms

Within a day of a conflict or tension in a relationship, it is worth calling or sending a text message and in simple words express what you are sorry about and what you would like: “I am sorry about what happened and I want to fix everything”, “Our friendship is important to me”, "Let's discuss everything as soon as possible."

2. It is not necessary to discuss and solve all problems at once

Sometimes it seems to us that the whole future of our friendly relations depends entirely on one very serious and difficult conversation. But, just as friendship itself develops gradually, so the complete solution of problems takes time. Sometimes it's worth briefly discussing the problem, taking time to think about it and returning to this conversation later. Solving problems gradually is normal.

3. Show empathy for your friend's feelings

Even when we disagree with our friends' observations or conclusions, we can try to understand their feelings and experiences. We can track their body language during a conversation, pay attention to their tone of voice and facial expressions. Try to respond to any signs of pain, discomfort, or anger (“I understand that you are upset, and I am very sorry that you feel bad about it”).

4. Know how to listen

Listen to everything your friend has to say to you without stopping or interrupting him. If something in his words causes you strong emotions, try to restrain them until you fully understand everything that your friend wants to express to you. If something is not clear, ask again. Try to find out what your friend hopes to get out of this conversation or what he needs to feel better about himself.

5. Speak clearly and concisely

Talk about your feelings and experiences, do not throw accusations. Avoid phrases like "You always do this"

First of all, talk about your feelings and experiences, and do not throw accusations. Avoid phrases like “You always do this” or “You never do this”, they will only exacerbate the problem and interfere with conflict resolution.

6. Try to take a different point of view

We do not always agree with the opinions of friends, but we must be able to recognize their right to an opinion that is different from ours. We must respect the views of friends and their right to disagree with us. Even if we do not agree with everything our friend says, there may be something in his words with which we are ready to agree.

Finally, when the immediate conflict has been as exhausted as possible at the moment, allow time for the relationship to fully recover. Keep doing what you love to do together. Positive emotions from friendly communication over time will help smooth out the remaining tension.

About the expert

Sarah Raymond Cunningham is a life coach, author of 5 books, regular contributor to the Huffington Post, and mother of two. Her website is sarahcunningham.org