Destructive narcissism is understood as a distortion or violation of the ability of a person to realistically feel, perceive and evaluate himself. Being formed in the process of deformed symbiotic relationships, destructive narcissism absorbs the preoedipal experience of negative interpersonal interactions and actually represents a reactive protective experience of the insufficiency of a tender and caring attitude towards the growing self of the child. Thus, destructive narcissism is, as it were, “woven” from insults, fears, aggressive feelings, prejudices, prejudices, refusals, prohibitions, disappointments and frustrations that arise in the interaction of the child and mother, i.e. reflects the unconscious destructive dynamics of the primary group-dynamic field and subsequent reference groups. The most important feature of destructive narcissism is the temporary and intense instability of the attitude towards oneself, which manifests itself in underestimation or overestimation of oneself, while the scope of the fluctuations is determined by fantasies of greatness on the one hand and ideas of low value, on the other. Attitude towards oneself cannot be stabilized due to the impossibility of objectifying it in the “mirror” of interpersonal interaction. The previous negative symbiotic experience of demonstrating one's true, weak, undifferentiated Self forces one to avoid mutual contacts in a wide range of situations that require confirmation of one's own identity. Communication with the environment acquires an accentuated one-sided character, in this regard, as a rule, the mismatch between internal self-esteem and the unconsciously assumed assessment of oneself by others deepens. The degree of this mismatch determines the intensity of the need for narcissistic validation and narcissistic outside support. The main problem with this is the impossibility of obtaining such "narcissistic nutrition". Constantly controlling the communicative process, the destructively narcissistic “I” fences itself off from the subjective activity of the Other, the other ceases to be the Other, the necessary dialogue turns into an ongoing monologue.
At the behavioral level, destructive narcissism is manifested by an inadequate assessment of oneself, one's actions, abilities and capabilities, a distorted perception of others, excessive alertness in communication, intolerance to criticism, low tolerance for frustrations, fear of close, warm, trusting relationships and the inability to establish them. , the need for public confirmation of their significance and value, as well as a tendency to build an autistic world that fences off from real interpersonal interactions. Often there is also a feeling of inseparability and incomprehension by others of subjectively important experiences and feelings, interests and thoughts, a feeling of hostility of others, up to paranoid reactions, a feeling of boredom and joylessness of existence.
High scores on this scale reflect the pronounced inconsistency of self-esteem, the inconsistency of its individual components, instability of attitude towards oneself, difficulties in interpersonal contacts, extreme touchiness, excessive caution, closeness in communication, a tendency to constantly control one's own expression, restraint, and spontaneousness. , "super insight" up to suspicion. Facade impeccability is often accompanied by excessive demands and intransigence to the shortcomings and weaknesses of others; a high need to be in the center of attention, to receive recognition from others, is combined with intolerance to criticism and a tendency to avoid situations in which a real external assessment of one's own properties can occur, and the inferiority of interpersonal communication is compensated by a pronounced tendency to manipulate.
Deficiency Narcissism Scale (N3)
The scale contains 13 statements and allows you to assess the level of development of attitude towards yourself.
For this scale, typical questions are: “No one notices whether I exist or not”; "I often feel superfluous"; "Whether I exist or not is not that important."
Deficient narcissism is understood as the insufficiency of the ability to form a holistic attitude towards oneself, to develop a differentiated idea of one's own personality, one's abilities and capabilities, as well as to realistically evaluate oneself. Deficiency narcissism is a rudimentary state of self-sufficiency and autonomy. Compared with destructive narcissism, here we are talking about a deeper violation of the central self-function, leading to an almost complete inability to perceive the uniqueness and uniqueness of one's own existence, to attach importance to one's desires, goals, motives and actions, to defend one's own interests and have independent views, opinions and points of view. As with the previously described deficient states of other self-functions, deficient narcissism is primarily associated with the atmosphere and the nature of the preoedipal interaction. At the same time, unlike, for example, destructive narcissism, it reflects a significantly different mode of interactional processes. If the environment that causes the destructive deformation of narcissism is characterized by “too human” relationships, with their inconsistency, inconsistency, fears, resentments, feelings of being bypassed and injustice, then the atmosphere of deficient narcissism is coldness, indifference and indifference. Thus, instead of the "distorting mirror" of destruction, there is only the "emptiness" of scarcity. It should be noted that physical care and care for a growing child can be impeccable, but they are formal, focused on purely external conventional norms and do not reflect personal, subjective participation. In fact, it is precisely this lack of love, tenderness and proper human care that prevents the child from forming his own boundaries, separating himself and becoming a primary I-identity and, in the future, almost fatally predetermines a deep “narcissistic hunger”.
In behavior, deficit narcissism is manifested by low self-esteem, pronounced dependence on others, the inability to establish and maintain “full-fledged” interpersonal contacts and relationships without prejudice to one’s interests, needs, life plans, difficulties in identifying one’s own motives and desires, views and principles , and the associated excessive identification with the norms, values, needs and goals of the immediate environment, as well as the poverty of emotional experiences, the general background of which is joylessness, emptiness, boredom and forgetfulness. Intolerance to loneliness and a pronounced unconscious desire for warm, symbiotic contacts in which one can completely "dissolve", thereby sheltering oneself from unbearable fears of real life, personal responsibility and one's own identity.
High scores on this scale characterize people who are unsure of themselves, their capabilities, strength and competence, hiding from life, passive, pessimistic, dependent, overly conforming, incapable of genuine human contacts, striving for symbiotic fusion, feeling their uselessness and inferiority, constantly in need of narcissistic "nourishment" and incapable of constructive interaction with life and always content only with the role of passive recipients.
Constructive Sexuality Scale (Sex 1)
The scale contains 13 statements and allows you to assess the degree of integration of sexual activity in the holistic mental activity of the individual.
For this scale, the following statements are typical: “I willingly invent erotic situations for myself that I would like to experience with my partner”;
“In an erotic mood, I don’t need to invent topics for conversation with a partner”; "I like to find what gives sexual pleasure to my partner."
Constructive sexuality is understood as a purely human opportunity to receive mutual pleasure from physical, bodily sexual interaction, which is experienced as a mature unity of personalities free from fears and feelings of guilt. It is especially important in this case that such unity is not burdened by any role fixations, social obligations or aspirations and is not determined solely by biological needs. His only self-sufficient goal is unconditional bodily, mental and spiritual fusion. Constructive sexuality involves genuine acceptance of a partner and confirmation of one's own I-identity, in other words, it is the ability to enter into sexual contact, feeling the living reality of this unique partner and maintaining a sense of inner authenticity. Another important aspect of constructive sexuality is the ability to get out of sexual symbiosis without a destructive sense of guilt and loss, but, on the contrary, experiencing the joy of mutual enrichment.
Formed in the process of resolving childhood symbiosis, constructive sexuality presupposes the successful overcoming of not only preoedipal, but also subsequent oedipal and pubertal age-related crises. As a self-function, constructive sexuality has a basic, fundamental value, but in its development it itself needs a certain, necessary minimum of constructiveness. For its successful formation, along with the integration of polymorphic infantile sexuality, there must be sufficiently developed constructive functions of the Self, primarily constructive aggression, constructive fear, stable communicating boundaries of the Self.
In behavior, constructive sexuality is manifested by the ability to enjoy sexual contacts while simultaneously being able to please a sexual partner, freedom from the fixedness of sexual roles, the absence of rigid sexual stereotypes, a tendency to erotic play and erotic fantasy, the ability to enjoy the variety and richness of experiences that arise. in a sexual situation, the absence of sexual prejudices and openness to new sexual experiences, the ability to communicate their sexual desires to a partner and understand his feelings and desires, the ability to feel responsibility and show warmth, care and devotion in sexual partnerships. Constructive sexuality is not so much a wide range of acceptability of forms of sexual activity as the ability for flexible negotiation, based on a felt understanding of the partner.
High rates on this scale are characteristic of sensitive, mature people who are able to establish close partnerships, who understand their own needs and feel the needs of another, who are able to communicate and realize their own sexual desires without exploitation and impersonal manipulation of others, who are capable of a mutually enriching exchange of sensory experiences and sensory experience, not fixed on any clichéd ways of sexual behavior; as a rule, they have a fairly developed sexual repertoire with a variety and differentiation of erotic components, which, however, are well integrated and reflect the integral, natural activity of the individual.
At low rates on the scale of constructive sexuality, the
there is a lack of capacity for partner sexual intercourse
action, sexual activity is either too instrumentalized,
stereotyped or depleted. In any case, there is an inability to
ness to the sexual "game", the partner is perceived and acts only
as an object to satisfy their own sexual desires. Erotic
mental fantasies become clearly egocentric or absent.
exist at all. Sexual activity almost always takes place outside the situation.
the “here and now”. The specific nature of the violation of the function of sex
reality is reflected by a predominant increase in indicators for one of
two subsequent scales
Destructive Sexuality Scale (Sex 2)
The scale contains 13 statements and allows you to assess the degree of personal integration of the function of sexuality.
Typical questions for this scale are: “My sexual fantasies almost always revolve around how well my partner treats me”; "Sometimes I want rough sex"; "When I'm bored, I look for sexual adventures."
Destructive sexuality is a deformation of the development of the function of sexuality, manifested in a violation of the process of integration of sexual activity in the holistic behavior of the individual. In fact, sexuality turns out to be split off from the I-identity and, thereby, pursues its own autonomous goals, often inconsistent with other manifestations of the I. Such goals can, for example, be an actualized desire for purely sexual satisfaction associated with the excitation of one or another erogenous zones, the need for recognition and admiration, the desire to prove sexual superiority, adherence to a socially prescribed role, aggressive urge, etc. Central to this is a distortion of the internalized unconscious group dynamics that transforms sexuality from a means of deepening communication, achieving intimacy, trust and intimacy into a way of avoiding genuinely human contact. The place of partner symbiosis, unity of feelings, thoughts and experiences is occupied by egoistical fence. Both the partner and the individual components of one's own sexual activity are instrumentalized and manipulated to achieve sexual pleasure. Feelings experienced by others are ignored or exploited objectively. The relationship is of a closed nature and is not at all aimed at any “discovery” of the partner, the desire to feel his uniqueness and uniqueness, “... the boundaries of the other either do not intersect at all, there is no opening of the other, or they intersect, but in this way which offends the dignity of a partner bodily, mentally or spiritually” (G. Ammon, 1995). The source and core of destructive sexuality is the deformed, mostly unconscious, dynamics of symbiotic relationships. The cornerstone of such deformation is a misunderstanding or ignorance of the bodily needs and the developing sensitivity of the child. Specific forms of distortion of the symbiotic interaction may vary from hostile attitudes of the primary group towards polymorphic manifestations of infantile sexuality to excessive warmness of the relationship, in which all interactions associated with the child are eroticized regardless of his real desires. Thus, the mother's primary lack of ability to deal with proximity and distance in accordance with the needs of the other, her lack of freedom from sexual prejudices and / or even the general unconscious rejection of the child create the prerequisites for developmental disorders of the “healthy” mode of primary experience of the developing Self, t .e. process of formation of psychosexual identification.
In behavior, destructive sexuality is manifested by unwillingness or inability for deep, intimate relationships. Human intimacy is often perceived as a burdensome duty or a threat to autistic autonomy, and is therefore avoided or interrupted by substitution. Instead of a holistic personality, only its individual fragments participate in contact. The sexual activity thus split off insultingly ignores the integrity of the other, giving the sexual relationship the character of impersonality, anonymity, alienation. Sexual interest turns out to be fetishized in a broad sense and is strictly connected only with certain qualities of the partner. Erotic fantasies and sexual games are exclusively autistic in nature. The sexual repertoire is usually rigid and may not fit within the partner's acceptability range. Destructive sexuality is also characterized by the presence of pronounced negative emotions after sexual excesses. Sexual relationships are retrospectively perceived as traumatic, harmful, or degrading. In this regard, feelings of guilt, a sense of degradation or an experience of being "used" are often noted. The extreme manifestations of destructive sexuality include diverse sexual perversions: various types of sexual abuse, including child abuse, sadomasochism, exhibitionism, voyeurism, fetishism, pedophilia, gerontophilia, necrophilia, sadomia, etc.
High rates on the scale of destructive sexuality are typical for persons incapable of spiritually filled, emotionally rich sexual experiences; avoiding emotional intimacy, trust and warmth. The place of true interest in a sexual partner is usually occupied by some particular exciting element, for example, novelty, unusualness, features of secondary sexual characteristics, etc. Destructive sexuality can manifest itself in them in various forms of aggressive behavior: from scandalousness to open manifestations of physical violence and / or a tendency to self-destruction. Sexual excess is rarely experienced by them as genuine here and now.
Deficiency Sexuality Scale (Sex 3)
The scale contains 11 statements and allows you to assess the degree of delay in the development of sexuality as a central self-function.
The following questions are typical for this scale: “Sexuality does not play such a big role in my relationship with my partner”; “In fact, sex is not particularly interesting for me”; "In my fantasies, sex is more beautiful than in reality."
Deficiency sexuality is understood as the self-function of sexuality delayed in its development. It means a generalized prohibition in the manifestation of sexual activity. Unlike destructive deformation, deficient sexuality implies the maximum possible renunciation of real sexual contacts, which can only occur under strong pressure from external circumstances. In fact, we are talking about the non-acceptance of one's own and others' physicality. Physical contact is perceived as an unacceptable intrusion, the subjective meaninglessness of which is predetermined by the perception of what is happening as only a mechanistic interaction. The main thing here is the loss of the ability to feel the interhuman, intersubjective basis of sexual actions. Thus, the meaning of any erotic or sexual situation turns out to be sharply depleted and, often, is presented as an “indecent” manifestation of a purely “animal” principle. In other words, sexuality is not perceived as a necessary component of purely human communication and, as a result, cannot be adequately integrated into interpersonal communications. Deficient sexuality does not allow interpersonal contacts to reach any depth and, thus, in many respects really determines the “threshold value” of interactions.
Like other deficient functions, deficient sexuality begins to form in the preoedipal period, but a specific condition for its development is a pronounced lack of positive, bodily pleasure experience of interaction with the mother. If deficient aggression arises due to an indifferent attitude to the manifestations of, first of all, the child's motor activity, the mother's lack of fantasies that create a "playing field of symbiosis" (G. Ammon, 1980), then deficient sexuality is a consequence of the indifference of the environment to those forest manifestations of the child and the extreme insufficiency of gentle tactile contact with him. The result of this "non-interaction" is a strong archaic fear of abandonment and a lack of narcissistic confirmation, which, as a generalized fear of contact and a feeling of not accepting one's body, determine par exelens all subsequent mental dynamics of sexual activity.
In behavior, deficient sexuality is expressed primarily by the absence of sexual desires, the poverty of erotic fantasizing, the perception of sexual relations as “dirty”, sinful, unworthy of a person and deserving of disgust. Own sexual activity is most often associated with fear. At the same time, fear colors the entire sphere of gender relations and can manifest itself as fear of infection or moral decline, fear of touch or sexual dependence. Often there is an unformed sexual repertoire, a complete inability to sexual "game", the presence of a large number of prejudices. Behavioral manifestations of deficient sexuality are characterized by a low assessment of one's body image and one's sexual attractiveness, as well as a tendency to devalue the sexual attractiveness of others. In general, interpersonal relationships are rarely truly full-blooded, they prefer fictitious "princes" or "princesses" to real potential sexual partners. Often, deficient sexuality accompanies impotence in men and frigidity in women.
Persons with high scores on the scale of deficient sexuality are characterized by low sexual activity, the desire to avoid sexual contacts up to their complete rejection, and the tendency to replace real sexual relations with fantasies. Such people are not able to experience joy from their own body, communicate their desires and needs to others, and are easily obscured in situations that require sexual identification. Sexual desires and claims of others are perceived by them as threatening their own identity. They are characterized by insufficient emotional fullness even of significant interpersonal relationships. The scarcity of sexual experience usually causes a "too serious" attitude towards life, a poor understanding of people as well as life in general.
Conclusion
(general rules of interpretation and scope of the questionnaire)
In conclusion, we should dwell on some general rules of in-
interpretation of test results obtained using the I-structural test and the scope of the questionnaire. These general rules include, first of all, the obligation to use all the information available about the subject. The test data should be used only as a material that allows you to put forward diagnostic hypotheses, the confirmation of which can only be carried out on the basis of observing real patterns of behavior of a particular person and a thorough reconstruction of the features of his anamnesis. Interpretive conclusions must necessarily reflect the counter movement of test deduction and analysis of the life path of the subject. Destructive or deficient components of the central I-functions, diagnosed by the corresponding scales of the questionnaire, must necessarily be verified by information from the actual life of the person being tested.
At the same time, test indicators are able to focus clinicians' attention on those areas, aspects or patterns of behavior of the subject, in which it is most likely to detect manifestations of the studied dysfunctions. It should be emphasized that the features of interpersonal interaction in early childhood described above (in terms of individual scales), hypothetically causing a disorder (deformation or underdevelopment) of one or another function of the ego, should be understood rather as “topographical” landmarks” on "map" of the reconstruction of the subject's early mental dynamics than as specific pathogenetic mechanisms that cause a deficit in the functions of his Self.
It should not be forgotten that although the test items represent forms of behavior stigmatized by the functional insufficiency of the Self, the same behavioral patterns may have a different determination. In other words, disturbed central functions of the I will manifest themselves in increases in the scale indicators of the I-structural test, but not always an increase in scale scores can clearly indicate disorders of the central functions. So, for example, the corresponding responses to the statements of the scale "Destructive aggression" can be caused both by the deformation of the self-function of aggression itself, and reflect the intrusive anal mode (E. Erickson). In other words, when analyzing the questionnaire data, it is necessary to take into account that, in addition to the described determination of the individual originality of Ego syntheses (I-integrations), other, for example, constitutionally determined features, may be reflected in the test results.
Moreover, the pathogenetic effect of the factor of disturbed interpersonal dynamics is not limited to the preoedipal period, but embraces all subsequent age-related crises.
Another important principle of interpretation is a holistic profile analysis. The most important thing here is to determine the ratio of destructive, constructive and deficient in all the functions under consideration. Thus, it is possible not only to assess the overall level of well-being or disadvantage of Self-integration, but also to identify zones (functions) in which this well-being or disadvantage is expressed to the maximum, i.e. determine the weakest link (locus minoris), as well as the main adaptive potential. It is necessary, first of all, to bear in mind two circumstances: on the one hand, the deficient state of the central I-function is the most pronounced violation of its organization, but on the other hand, destruction and deficiency always go together, forming many transitional options.
Finally, it should be remembered that the I-structural test does not have direct scales for assessing the test set of the test subject, and therefore is not sufficiently protected from the dissimulation tendency. In this regard, it is necessary to adhere to the following provisions: firstly, a sufficient diagnostic condition for trouble in the development of the function of the Self is an increase in any deficient or destructive scale, regardless of the position of the corresponding constructive scales; secondly, pronounced dissimulation tendencies and attitudes of social favorability manifest themselves in emphatically high rates of constructive scales with simultaneously low destructive and deficient scales and very high scores on scales of self-delimitation.
The questionnaire can be widely used both in individual psychological diagnostics and in screening studies. In particular, the fact that many test statements are in fact formalized descriptions of shallow psychopathological stigmas allows it to be widely used in epidemiological studies.
It is important to note the ability of the questionnaire to holistically describe the structure of the human self, which makes it a very useful tool in clinical research.
In clinical psychodiagnostics, the I-structural test can be used to solve problems of differential diagnostics, makes it possible to objectify therapeutic dynamics, and is extremely useful in functional diagnostics. Test results can be used to select therapeutic tactics, for example, in the psychotherapeutic process, as well as create the basis for the purposeful construction of psycho-prophylactic and rehabilitation programs.
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There is often a reversal of roles in families, in which the father and mother manifest those desires that were not satisfied in their relationship with their parents.
Some demand a lot from the child, while others do not accept and do not support him, they simply do not notice. Most parents perceive their child as their narcissistic appendage, an extension, which contributes to the development of a "false self".
In the formation of narcissistic pathology, an important role is played by the atmosphere of constant evaluation in the family. If a child is relied upon as a vital object necessary for one's own self-esteem, then whenever a child disappoints, he will be directly or indirectly criticized. An evaluative atmosphere of constant praise and approval equally requires realistic self-assessment. The child always feels that he is being judged, that a relationship of constant approval is false. But the child needs, he needs to be loved, led, protected from feelings of uselessness and loneliness. To cope with the feeling of lack of security, helplessness and hostility, the child is forced to resort to defensive strategies or to take on a certain (rescuer of the dying, scapegoat, etc.) role.
In a situation of deprivation, a child who actively explores the world around him and feels the need for adult support finds only emptiness, indifference, and uncertainty. Sexual harassment, grief associated with fear of rejection, loss of love from the mother object, corporal punishment such as spanking or cuffing to obedience, or simply indifference on the part of the mother object when the child is made to understand that he is unwanted: “If only you died; I will give you to an orphanage; I would kill you for that…etc,” the words are shouted out, sometimes without realizing it, out of impotence, and sometimes with poorly concealed anger and hatred, traumatize the child’s psyche. D. Steele (1976) believes that an irresistible desire to repeat one's own abused and deprived childhood is a key genetic determinant in parents who “beat” their children: “If the early years of a person’s life, unfortunately, were surrounded by neglect and bad treatment, then that person is likely to repeat it and treat his own offspring in the same way that he was treated” (Greenacre, 1960, Shengold, 1967).
The absence of a close relationship with the mother leads to disorganization and disintegration of the psychophysical state of the child.
D. McDougall believes that "in a newborn, the body and soul are not yet experienced separately: the baby does not establish any difference between his mind and body and those of his mother." For the child, the mother plays the role of an external object that defines boundaries, the role of a container capable of containing his anxieties. From an early age, the mother must give psychic meaning to certain experiences of the child. When a child receives affective responsiveness to his needs and experiences, in his development a mental space is formed, where there is an opportunity to fantasize and interact with internal objects, work through his experiences, then the child grows up psychosomatically healthy, according to D. Winnicott, this should be “a fairly good mother ". In the absence of an affective response from the mother object, unmirrored, uncontained feelings are experienced by him as abnormal, they become frightening, haunting. H. Kohut singled out the normal need for idealization, in the case when growing up took place without objects that could be initially idealized, and then, gradually de-idealized, could be the basis for the development of psychopathology.
As a result of the violation of the relationship with the mother object, the child gives up his own feelings, placing them in the mother object. As a result, there is a violation in the formation of subjective reality, and also lead to a complete rejection of reality and the destruction of his Self. Non-integrated affective states become sources of an internal conflict that continues throughout life, as well as a threat to psychological organization, and prevent the formation of the necessary object relations. Splitting is a defense mechanism against early trauma and abuse that is beyond the ability of the child's psyche to process them.
D. Bowlby, in his theory of "attachment", points to three main stages in the development of the main reactions of a child separated from his mother, to whom he feels attachment: protest, despair, alienation. According to D. Bowlby, these three stages constitute a characteristic behavioral sequence and correspond to one of the main psychoanalytic theories: the stage of protest is associated with the problem of separation anxiety, despair with grief, alienation with a defense mechanism and form a single whole, a single process.
M. Balin (2002), believed that an individual develops normally until he receives a mental trauma; “From now on, the dominant influence on his development is the solution that he found in order to cope with the consequences of a particular injury ...” . M. Balint points out that “a basic defect is formed at the early stages of an individual’s development, as a result of a significant discrepancy between his psychobiological needs, on the one hand, and the amount of attention and love, material and psychological care that are available to him at that moment - the other.” This is how a state of scarcity arises, the consequences and delayed effects of which in the future can only be partially reversible. Factors that cause this situation of mismatch in the early stages of development may be innate, for example, the level of psychobiological needs of the child may be too high, in the case of non-viable children, as well as in a progressive hereditary disorder, or come from the external environment. For example: in the case of incomplete, insufficient, unsystematic care of a child characterized by excessive anxiety, overprotection, rudeness, rigidity, general inconsistency, irregularity, overstimulation, or simply misunderstanding and indifference.
Relationship disturbances at these stages of development are defined as dyadic or preverbal. According to the concept of M. Balint, these disorders are of a deficient nature and lead to the so-called basic defect. Lack of communication with the mother in the first six months, which are basic, can lead to the development of autism, and the loss of pleasant, sensual sensations in others can lead to the development of a shell - eczema, to fusion.
M. Klein's concept.
The first object for every child is the mother who cares for him. From the point of view of M. Klein, object relations exist from the very beginning of life. “From the very beginning of the postnatal period of life,” writes M. Klein, “the infant experiences anxiety emanating from internal and external sources of “…..”. The first experiences of the child, connected with feeding (satisfaction) and the presence of the mother, initiate the attitude towards her. Alleviation of the feeling of hunger, pleasure from sucking, freedom from discomfort and tension, as well as the child's feeling that he is loved - all this becomes an attribute of a "good" (ideal) breast. On the contrary, any frustration and discomfort is attributed to the "bad" (haunting) breast. The relation to loved and hated, good and bad breasts is the first object relation of the child. These two aspects of the mother's breast are introjected and form the core of the Super-Ego. Splitting, omnipotence, idealization, denial and control over external and internal objects dominate at this stage.
The confusion of good and bad impulses, good and bad objects, gives rise to a feeling of envy and a desire to penetrate the mother's body. M. Klein writes: “From the very beginning of life, destructive impulses are directed against the object, and for the first time they manifest themselves in a child in fantasizing oral-sadistic attacks on the chest, expressed in the desire to deprive the mother's body of all its good contents; and anal-sadistic impulses, expressed in the desire to fill the mother's body with excrement (including the desire to penetrate her body in order to control her from the inside), give rise to fears of persecution in the infant, which play an important role in the development of paranoia and schizophrenia. M. Klein described the fear of annihilation as the primary experience of the child, as well as the complex nuances of introjections and projections that the infant uses to maintain his ego and sense of identity, protecting himself from the fear of annihilation.
A. Freud considered the ratio of libidinal and destructive impulses as a condition of norm and pathology in the manifestation of aggression in children and connected the emergence of the integration of basic drives with the development of the “central point of consciousness” in the structure of the personality-Ego. In her opinion, a high level of ego development leads to a clash of basic drives and the need for their transformation. The development of the sexual instinct is determined by the sequence of libidinal phases: oral, anal-sadistic, phallic, latent, pre-pubertal, pubertal and genital, which are characterized by their own forms of aggressive instinct:
- biting, spitting, desire to join - oral stage;
- aggressiveness, cruelty, destruction, bullying - the stage of anal sadism;
- lust for power, boasting, arrogance - the phallic stage;
- dissocial manifestations - stages of pre-puberty and puberty.
A. Freud believes that the child in his development is able to react aggressively in a situation of frustration, when the instinctive desire is not satisfied or when the external environment interferes with the fulfillment of desire, he also points out that in development and education it is necessary to consider the entire mental apparatus, and not individual parts. In clinical practice, sexuality and aggressiveness occur simultaneously, they are in fusion, so that the child can express love and hatred for the mother.
In its development, the physical "I" is ahead of the development of the mental "I". The stronger the influence of bodily needs and motives on a child in the earliest childhood, the less he himself is able to qualitatively and quantitatively manage the satisfaction of his needs.
A. Freud emphasized that disharmony between different lines should not be regarded as a pathological phenomenon. Steps from immaturity to maturity, and not chronological age, are considered by her as indicators of development. Normal childhood development occurs in leaps: two steps forward and one step back. The starting points of a child’s maturity or immaturity in child psychoanalysis, is considered the child’s reaction to the birth of the next baby, stay in the hospital, admission to school, depends entirely on whether he is ripe for this event, whether he has reached the necessary level of development, the lines in question.
The concept of separation - individuation M. Mahler.
M. Mahler pointed out the importance of "basic trust", which develops from the first days between mother and baby. Basic trust requires maternal sensitivity, is associated with secure attachment, and with the later achievement of self and object permanence, identity formation.
From the point of view of M. Mahler, the lack of libidinal investment in the object leads to a violation in symbiotic relationships, where a significant role is assigned to the mental structures of the mother. An overly strict and neglectful mother, or an overprotective, indulgent mother, contributes to the development of a child's feelings of dependence and self-doubt. Such a child will constantly feel the need for approval and support. An overprotective mother is an exciting mother, the child may experience a fear of absorption in front of her, a fear of being eaten. The means of salvation is - going into his own illusory world, where he feels safe. The impossibility of separation from matter, constant dependence on it underlies the formation of suicidal behavior, alcohol and drug addictions as a compensatory form of avoiding the state of uncertainty, guilt and pain.
M. Mahler attached importance to separation anxiety and the development of a sense of separateness in a child. Separation, according to M. Mahler, is a process during which the infant gradually forms an intrapsychic representation of himself, different from the representation of his mother. In the event of a sharp separation from the mother, excessive frustrations, the child, and his psyche, due to the weakness of the ego and the predominance of primitive defenses, can undergo serious consequences of a depressive, psychopathic nature. And in the case of a slow, untimely separation from the mother, the child may develop a sense of obsessive dependence on her, an inability to think and behave independently. These important processes in a child's life affect his subsequent development.
Only the alternation of frustration and satisfaction in the child forms a stable image of the mother and "something happening outside." As a result of the absence of a mother, a child can hallucinate, imagine her and thereby learn to endure loneliness, determine the boundaries between himself and his mother, create his own unique identity. Only the support of the mother contributes to the formation of independence, confidence and determination. The inability to perceive oneself and one's mother as a separate being is the basic disorder of the psychotic personality.
For the infant, psychic life begins with the experience of fusion. Physically, it is a separate being, but mentally, the mother-child symbiosis is an inextricably merged system. For a baby, the mother and he himself are one person. The primary means of communication is the skin, which provides an understanding environment and lays the foundations for primary identification. From her point of view, the infant acquires a certain integrity through strokes, touches (integration), the absence or lack of which forms a defective feeling in the infant and manifests itself in the inability to retain a sense of containing space.
If the internal containment object is loose, it may be experienced by the infant as partial skin prone to "holes". In search of a way to keep himself in unity, the infant generates omnipotent fantasies that help to avoid the need for a passive experience of the object: “Violation of the primary skin function can lead to the formation of a“ second skin ”, dependence on the object is replaced by pseudo-independence”, and projective identification is replaced by for the infant's lack of a sense of inner space comes adhesive identification. E. Beek writes: “that such unsuccessful skin formation causes a general fragility of subsequent integration and structures and manifests itself in non-integrated states that differ from regression and include the most basic forms of partial or complete non-integration of the body, posture, ability to move, as well as the corresponding function of consciousness, in in particular communications. The “second skin” phenomenon, replaces the integration of the primary skin, manifests itself in the form of a partial or complete muscular membrane or the corresponding speech muscles” (Pinocchio Phenomenon). E. Bick and D. Meltzer called the formation of a “second skin” through stereotypical actions an act of mimicry, which represents the experience and fantasy of sticking to an object, rather than projecting into it, and underlies the development of autism. Such patients compensate for the replenishment of their narcissistic balance through various manifestations of skin and other diseases.
In his concept of the Skin-I, D. Nazier points out the importance of the unity of the surface of the body of the child and the mother in the formation of the Skin-I at the earliest stages of development. The first experience of communication occurs at the bodily level - non-verbally (caress, stroking). Skin I has the function of maintaining the psyche. In biological terms, it is carried out through what D. Winnicott called "holding", meaning by this the mother's manner of holding the baby's body in her arms. The skin of the self functions as a protective screen for all the child's mental experiences, the absence or damage of which can lead to a violation of basic trust or the emptiness of loneliness. D. Nazier called damage to the "Skin-I" a "leaky envelope."
The narcissistic shell provides the mental apparatus with confidence in basic well-being, the absence of which contributes to the formation of the “Skin-I”. Only on the basis of the physical corporeal self is the psychic self formed, with the development of which the physical corporality (tightness) gradually disappears. The lack of relationship between the child and the mother at this stage of development can lead to the formation of a shell: bronchial asthma, skin diseases. The state of the mental I is always reflected on the bodily level (skin) through the symptoms of "It" - love, aggression or "Super - I" - a ban on expressing aggression. The skin is not only a barrier, a boundary, but also a container for content (mental self) and their ability to interact.
The inability of the mother to accept the projections of her child is experienced by the child himself as a destructive attack by the mother on his attachment to matter and on his interactions with it as a good object and contribute to the development of an envious destructive Super-Ego.
From the point of view of W. Bion, the danger of depersonalization is associated with the image of a perforated, holey envelope, as well as with the anxiety of the flow of vital substance through holes, the anxiety of not only fragmentation, but also devastation.
Fantasy interaction and transgenerational transmission
As already stated above, the formation of personality occurs, starting from intrauterine development. The development of the structure of the psyche is influenced not only by biological factors, but also by the unconscious fears of the mother and father, their desires and expectations from this child. S. Lebovisi called this process a transgenerational transmission, which can be seen on the example of A. Green's "dead mother complex", when depression affects the whole family and in the case of Schreber, described by Z. Freud, where the symptomatology is hereditary, is a family "mandate" and is passed down from generation to generation. Giving a child a name, parents put meaning into this name, thus determining his fate and passing along their experiences, anxieties and unconscious conflicts to the mother along with the name.
Identification with the mother occurs very early in the system of two dimensions: mouth, hand from the point of view of E. Bick and represented by the experience of skin contact according to D. Nazier. The infant is capable of declaring that his mother is his mother: the child makes his mother a mother. According to Winnicott, an infant looking at its mother sees two objects: its mother's eyes and the mother looking at it. A mother who takes care of her child creates a "holding" for him. As a result of intense affective exchanges that appear in the mother-child dyad, representations of proto-objects are created, which belong to the area of \u200b\u200bwhat S. Freud called "primary identifications". It is at this level that the exchange of representations, saturated with affective investments, takes place.
The role of the father in the formation of three-dimensional space.
An equally important role in the relationship is given to the father figure, his supporting function, the absence of which can lead to the rejection of the child by the mother. The emotional influence of the father figure in the relationship between mother and child includes the child in the interacting chain "mother - father - me". The father is the only non-contaminated object and is a necessary structuring, organizing figure in the formation of identity in the pre-oedipal stage of development and influences the maternal image in the process of separation - individuation.
According to M. Klein, the oedipal situation begins in infancy with fantasies of relation to the breast and penis and fantasies of the relationship between these partial objects, followed by ideas about parents that are formed under the influence of these previous fantasies. She wrote: “At a very early age, children are introduced to reality through the hardships it imposes on them. They protect themselves from reality by denying it.
For a child who is intimidated by any new knowledge about his mother due to her unstable status in his psyche, it is experienced as a catastrophe and leads to a decrease in the value of the child in his own eyes when he learns that the mother, the object of his love, is in love with another object of love, his father. And for him, faith in the “goodness” of the mother is important.
At the same time, the child is horrified by the combined object as a persecutory fantasy of parents merged in constant intercourse. At such moments, due to the fragility of his Ego, the meaning of the former “goodness” of the mother is distorted in the child (a disorder in the structuring of thinking, M. Klein, 1932) and she appears in his image as a kind of terrible monster. The horror that a child experiences at such a moment is the fear of decay, annihilation. To avoid unbearable perception, the psychotic will mutilate his mind - as M. Klein and W. Bion point out, and reacts to the situation by increasing his aggressive feelings and fantasies. The parents in his fantasies will be attacked by all the aggressive means at his disposal, and then they will be perceived in his imagination as destroyed.
The absence of containing support from the mother at the stage of symbiosis contributes to the development of an envious Super-Ego in the child with a predominance of destructive impulses: hatred and envy towards the father due to the impossibility of possessing the mother, which is felt by him as a feeling of deep loss, emptiness. In order not to experience a feeling of loneliness, abandonment, the child denies the psychic reality of parental relationships through the formation of an oedipal illusion that performs a protective function.
The connection between mother and father in mental space is the basis of symbolism, as opposed to symbiotic fusion, the connection of parents, which R. Britton called "triangular space", contributes to the child's feeling of self, the formation of identity, overcoming separation from the symbiotic mother. H. Levald (Levald, 1951, p15) Stoller (1979) wrote: "Against the threat of maternal absorption, the father's position is not a threat or danger, but a supporting mighty force" and sees the father as a shield that will protect the child from the mother's desire to prolong the symbiosis.
The rejection of this third object and its relationship with the mother is one of the principles of the emergence of the modern concept of perversity. Greenacre (1950, p. 461) suggests that children who repeatedly witness the "basic" scene may be drawn into it by their parents and this may reinforce the scopophilic-exhibitionist elements of their character.
Thinking as connection
From the point of view of W. Bion, tolerance for frustration is an individual innate factor and an extremely important element in acquiring the ability to think and endure anxiety, and H. Segal defined the ability to symbolize as a central function in working out the separation and loss of an object. “The capacity to bear frustration allows the soul to develop thinking as a means by which tolerable frustration becomes even more tolerable.”
From the point of view of W. Bion, thinking is an emotional experience of an attempt to know oneself or another, to comprehend their reality, to penetrate into their nature. W. Bion, relying on his work with psychotic patients, found that psychotic patients use an abnormal type of projective identification as the very first way of communication, the source of thinking. The baby is born with a vague feeling of something, incomprehensible. He conveys his feelings, fears, etc. mother, projecting them into her for her to accept and recognize them (the ability to dream) through the α functions and ß elements. The mother's inability to contain the infant's anxieties causes a feeling of hatred, leads to a splitting of the ego and internal objects, and turns on the mechanisms of projective identification.
An excess of fears of persecution and schizoid mechanisms in the early period of infancy can have a detrimental effect on the earliest stages of intellectual development. During frustration, the infant's early fantasies are those of assault and sadistic entry into the mother's body. The fear of being confined inside the body (and especially the fear of attacks from the penis) is an important factor in the violation of male potency, and also underlying claustrophobia.
In his article of the same name, W. Bion writes that "the difference between a psychotic personality and a non-psychotic one lies in the subtle splitting of all parts of the personality associated with the awareness of internal and external reality, and the expulsion of these fragments that penetrate objects and absorb them." “The destruction of certain associative links contributes to the weakening of the individual's connection with reality, followed by the destruction of meaning. Before an emotional experience can be used to form a model, its sense data (ß-elements) must be converted into α-functions in order to store them and make them available for generalization. With bare representation (minus-K), meaning is separated, misunderstanding occurs. In his article "Negation" (1925), S. Freud discussed how thinking, an embodied mental process, takes place within the body. Thoughts are initially assimilated (assimilated) into physical things, and then into physical activity. The placement of things in the body is the origin of consent, the exclusion of them from the body is the origin of negation. “The archaic conception of thought presents mental phenomena as bodily, in order to represent them, one might say” (Wollheim 1984, p. 145).
Violations of object relations at an early age in the mother-child dyad cause traumatic damage to the early stages of development and lead to the formation of defects in basic functional systems. The lack of emotional support for the child from the parents disrupts its development, which is accompanied by various disorders:
- in the affective sphere - violations are manifested in a depressed state, anxiety and a high level of anxiety, neurotic fears, and a reduced emotional background;
- in the cognitive sphere - violations are manifested by intellectual retardation, impaired attention, poor memory;
- in the behavioral sphere - delinquent and deviant behavior, isolation, aggressiveness, lack of need to form relationships with peers.
- Heredity at the level of transgenerational transmission plays an important role in the formation of pathology.
The role of the father in the mind of the child and his mother is:
- structuring function defining internal and external boundaries;
- contributing, separation and formation of individuation, differentiation of sexes and generations, identification, formation of symbolization and thinking.
Thinking is an important component in the acceptance of external and internal reality, in the formation of symbolization (transitional space, the presence of a third one), contributes to the most painless study of separation and loss of an object, frustration and anxiety.
- Asanova N.K. "Lectures on Psychoanalytic Pathology" M, Institute of Psychoanalysis, 2009.
- Balint M. Primary narcissism and primary love. / Translation: Agarkov V.A., Kravets S.V. Journal of Practical Psychology / 2004 http://psyjournal.ru
- E.Bik. Skin perception during early object relations. Read at the 25th International Psychoanalytic Congress, July 1967 / translated by Shutkov A.E. // Int. J. Psycho-Anal., 1968, 49:(IJP).
- Bion W.R. Theory of thinking / Translated by Z. Babloyan. Journal of Practical Psychology and Psychoanalysis/2008 http://psyjournal.ru
- Bion W.R. The difference between a psychotic personality and a non-psychotic one - Journal of Practical Psychology and Psychoanalysis / 2008
- Bowlby D. Attachment Theory. Publisher: Gardariki, 2003. 477 p.
- Britton R. The Missing Link: Parental Sexuality in the Oedipus Complex Psychoanalytic concepts of psychosexuality. Collection of scientific papers. "RPO" / 2010
- Winnicott D.V. Theory of child-parent relationships./Translation
K.Yagnyuk//Journal of Practical Psychology/ 2005 http://psyjournal.ru
pp., / Psychoanalytic concepts of sexuality / ed. A.V. Litvinova, A.N. Kharitonova, M.: Publishing project "RPO", 2010.528p.
S. Lapina. 2002 http://psyjournal.ru
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Narcissism: types
In behavior, deficient narcissism is manifested by a pronounced dependence on others, passivity, compliance, difficulties in identifying one's own motives and desires, views and principles; the impossibility of establishing and maintaining "full-fledged" interpersonal contacts and relationships without prejudice to their interests, needs, life plans; the poverty of emotional experiences, the predominance of the general background of joylessness, emptiness, forgetfulness and boredom; intolerance of loneliness, expressed by an unconscious desire for a relationship of symbiotic fusion (to a warm, close relationship in which you can completely “dissolve” and hide from unbearable fears and problems of real life, personal responsibility and your own identity).
A deficit-narcissistic personality is characterized by low self-esteem, a sense of insignificance, lack of confidence in oneself, one's abilities, strength and competence, lack of independence, pessimism, excessive identification with the norms, values, needs and goals of the immediate environment (conformity); selflessness, the inability to form and maintain one’s own goals and preferences, the inability to have genuine human contacts, to constructively interact with life with the inability to sufficiently feel its fullness, the narrowness and specificity of the circle of interests, the feeling of one’s inferiority and uselessness, the constant need for narcissistic “nutrition” (support, help, presence nearby, etc.) with contentment only with the role of a passive recipient.
The reason for the destructive pathology of the self-function of narcissism is the negative experience of early symbiotic experiences “woven” from insults, fears, rejections, disappointments, prohibitions, prejudices, prejudices and frustrations with feelings of circumvention and injustice caused by unconscious rejection (inconsistent, contradictory, devoid of tenderness and care). attitude) of the child by the mother (primary group), unable to provide the infant with adequate protection and build the correct boundaries of his Self for him. In this regard, the child develops a distorted or contradictory perception of reality, dooming him to constant dependence on narcissistic support (“narcissistic nutrition”) from the outside and hindering (due to communication disorders or autism) the acquisition of the social energy necessary for the development of self-identity.
In behavior, destructive narcissism is manifested by an insatiable desire to be in the center of attention and receive confirmation of one's importance from others, combined with intolerance of criticism and avoidance of situations of a real external assessment of one's own personality; suspiciousness, a combination of facade (demonstrated) impeccability with excessive exactingness and intolerance to the shortcomings and weaknesses of others; lack of spontaneity, excessive alertness, restraint, pronounced inconsistency, instability, inability to open communication and close, trusting relationships; a pronounced tendency to manipulate others.
With a significant degree of severity, destructive narcissism can manifest itself as pronounced autistic functioning (inability to make contacts and relationships); paranoid reactions; overvalued ideas, psychosomatic disorders.
G. Rosenfeld's concept of destructive narcissism
G. Rosenfeld highlights the structural characteristics of the narcissistic personality and their development in the transference. For the first time he links the Kleinian approach to treatment with the description and characterological analysis of a special group of patients and develops the first modern theory of pathological narcissism. At the beginning of his research, the author assumes that narcissistic personalities omnipotently introject a "good" partial object (breast) and omnipotently project their own self into such an object. In narcissistic object relations, omnipotence plays a leading role. By incorporating the breast, the child begins to possess it. The mother or breast is also used in an almighty way to contain through projection anything that is unacceptable, causing pain or anxiety. At the same time, the separation of the self from the external object is denied, due to which patients can deny the need for any dependence on it. Addiction implies a need for a love object that is potentially frustrating, so it is also intensely hated, and this hatred takes the form of extraordinary envy. Envy, Rosenfeld concludes following M. Klein, is the primary intrapsychic expression of the death instinct, the earliest manifestation of aggression in the field of object relations. Narcissistic object relations avoid the aggressive feelings that arise from frustration and any awareness of envy. The patient needs external objects to project all unacceptable parts, while the analyst is used as a "washroom". Such a relationship satisfies the narcissistic patient, since he unloads everything "unsatisfactory" into the analyst, perceiving himself as "completely good."
Such patients have a highly idealized self-image and omnipotently deny all interfering influences. They quickly assimilate the values and ideas of others, declaring them as their own, or they can unconsciously devalue and destroy everything they receive from others (as this causes envy), while experiencing a chronic sense of dissatisfaction (Sokolova E.T.)
G. Rosenfeld (1971) explores the property of narcissistic personality structures that arises from the contamination of self-idealization with the idealization of omnipotent destructive parts of the self. He introduces the concept of "destructive narcissism" to designate a special psychodynamic development in certain patients. There is an idealization of the destructive aspects of the self, which subdue and hold the positive and dependent aspects of the self, preventing the formation of a working alliance between the patient and the analyst. Thus, destructive and omnipotent aspects of the self prevent or devalue "good" object relations.
The infiltration of the pathological Mad Self with primitive aggression gives such patients a quality of violent self-destructiveness. Under such conditions, they unconsciously hate everything that is good and valuable, not only in external objects, but also in their own potentially "good" aspects of the normal dependent self. In extreme cases, such patients feel safe and triumphant only when they destroy everyone and everyone, and, in features, frustrates the efforts of those who love them. The sense of power appears in such cases as a derivative of impenetrability to ordinary human weaknesses. Extremely narcissistic personalities are characterized by a malignant fusion of libido and dominant aggression embedded in the Mad Self. It is very difficult to "rescue" the dependent healthy parts of the Self from the "trap" of the narcissistic structure. Patients seem to be indifferent to the external object world. They feel themselves giving life to themselves and able to meet all their needs one on one. They prefer to die in denial of the fact of birth and destroy any potential for help so as not to depend on the analyst. Self-destructive response may be idealized by them as a response to emerging problems.
Rosenfeld distinguishes between healthy narcissism, which provides a libidinal enhancement of the Self, and narcissism, characterized by the idealization of the destructive aspects of the Self. patient to life. It is emphasized that the forces of death become more threatening when the patient is "turned away" from life and "good" objects.
Rosenfeld connects his theory with the most severe forms of negative therapeutic reaction. He also suggests that the unconscious grandiosity of such patients takes the form of fantasies that they incorporate simultaneously the masculine and feminine aspects of internal and external objects, thus becoming completely free from sexual needs, as well as from other needs associated with addiction.
The "breakdown" of narcissistic structures can lead to psychotic experiences of the paranoid circle, then interpretation becomes necessary in order for the patient to move towards a situation of true addiction: to a depressive position and experiences of oedipal conflict. The pathological Grandiose Self of such patients reflects the most primitive, severe, unyielding forms of resistance, when unconscious guilt is caused by the sadistic Superego, characterizing the negative therapeutic reaction. The theme of destructive narcissism, described by G. Rosenfeld, was further developed in the works of O. Kernberg, who studies "malignant narcissism".
Psychotherapy: Rosenfeld argued that it was possible to analyze most narcissistic patients. He later clarified that analysis was not indicated for narcissistic patients with violent aggressive traits. He proposed a modification of the psychoanalytic technique in the treatment of severely regressed narcissistic patients. He considered it necessary to interpret both positive and negative transference using "operational clarifications".
CLARIFICATION - the emergence of a strong feeling, an inner confidence that all the ambiguity or inconsistency is over and the person knows exactly what he should do next. A clarification remark is a specific statement by the therapist that repeats what the patient said in clearer terms. Sometimes the therapist retells the patient's remark exactly; but he never tries to link facts or statements he received from the patient at different times. It is important that in the clarification remark the psychotherapist never seeks to give assessments. In his statements, he deliberately avoids manifestations of his own expression, reflecting his attitude towards the patient, his words, or some circumstances of his life. Only those emotional accents that were allowed by the patient himself are preserved. The clarification remark belongs to the category of non-directive procedures and is an attempt by the psychotherapist to return to the patient what he said, felt, expressed (psychotherapeutic encyclopedia) ..
They use many distractions designed to misinform people and shift responsibility for what is happening on them.
These techniques are used not only by narcissistic personalities, but precisely malignant narcissists use them especially often to avoid responsibility for their actions.
1. Gaslighting.
Gaslighting (a form of psychological violence, the main task of which is to make a person doubt the objectivity of his perception, as well as reality itself. Psychological manipulation designed to expose an individual as “defective”, “abnormal” - wikipedia) is a manipulative technique that is easiest to illustrate with such typical phrases: There was no such», « You thought" and " You are crazy? Gaslighting is perhaps one of the most insidious manipulation techniques, because it is aimed at distort and undermine your sense of reality; it eats away at your ability to trust yourself, and as a result, you begin to question the legitimacy of your complaints of insults and mistreatment.
When a narcissist, sociopath, or psychopath uses this tactic against you, you automatically side with them in order to resolve the cognitive dissonance that has arisen. Two irreconcilable reactions are fighting in your soul: either he is mistaken, or my own feelings. The manipulator will try to convince you that the former is completely out of the question, and the latter is the pure truth, indicating your inadequacy.
2. Projection.
One sure sign of destructiveness is when a person chronically unwilling to see their own shortcomings and uses everything in his power to avoid responsibility for them. This is called projection. Projection is a defense mechanism used to displace responsibility for one's own negative traits and behaviors by attributing them to another. Thus, the manipulator avoids admitting his guilt and responsibility for the consequences.
While we all use projection to some degree, clinical narcissist Dr. Martinez-Levi notes that in narcissists, projections often become a form of psychological abuse.
Instead of acknowledging their own faults, flaws, and transgressions, narcissists and sociopaths prefer to blame their own vices on their unsuspecting victims, in the most obnoxious and cruel way possible. Instead of admitting that they could do with taking care of themselves, they prefer to instill a sense of shame in their victims by making them responsible for their behavior. In this way, the narcissist causes others to experience the bitter shame that he feels towards himself.
For example, a pathological liar may accuse his partner of lying; a needy wife may call her husband "sticky" in an attempt to make him dependent; a bad employee may call the boss ineffective in order to avoid a truthful conversation about their own performance.
Narcissistic sadists love to play blame-shifting. Goals of the game: they win, you lose, the result - you or the whole world as a whole is to blame for everything that happened to them. Thus, you have to nurse their fragile egos, and in return you are pushed into a sea of insecurity and self-criticism. Cool idea, right?
Decision? Don't "project" your own feelings of compassion or empathy onto the destructive person and don't take their poisonous projections on yourself. As manipulation expert Dr. George Simon writes in his book In Sheep's Clothing (2010), projecting one's own conscientiousness and value system onto others can encourage further exploitation.
Narcissists at the extreme end of the spectrum tend to be completely uninterested in introspection and change. It is important to break off all relationships and ties with destructive people as soon as possible in order to rely on your own reality and begin to value yourself. You don't have to live in a cesspool of other people's dysfunctions.
3. Hellishly pointless conversations.
If you hope for thoughtful communication with a destructive personality, you will be disappointed: instead of an attentive interlocutor, you will get an epic brain-fuck.
Narcissists and sociopaths use stream of consciousness, circling, personalization, projection, and gaslighting to confuse and confuse you whenever you disagree or challenge them. This is done in order to discredit, distract and upset you, take you away from the main topic and make you feel guilty about the fact that you are a living person with real thoughts and feelings that dare to be different from their own. In their eyes, the problem is your existence.
Ten minutes of arguing with a narcissist is enough and you are already wondering how you even got involved in this. You just disagreed with his ridiculous statement that the sky is red, and now your entire childhood, family, friends, career and lifestyle are mixed with dirt. This is because your disagreement contradicts his false belief that he is omnipotent and omniscient, which leads to the so-called narcissistic injury.
Remember: destructive people are not arguing with you, they are, in fact, arguing with themselves, you are just an accomplice in a long, exhausting monologue. They love drama and live for it. Trying to find an argument that refutes their ridiculous claims, you are only throwing wood on the fire. Don't feed narcissists - rather feed yourself the understanding that the problem is not with you, but with their abusive behavior. Stop communicating as soon as you feel the first signs of narcissism, and spend this time doing something pleasant.
4. Generalizations and allegations.
Narcissists do not always boast outstanding intelligence - many of them are not accustomed to think at all. Instead of wasting time and understanding different points of view, they make generalizations based on whatever you say, ignoring the nuances of your argument and your attempts to take into account different opinions. And it's even easier to put some label on you - this automatically crosses out the value of any of your statements.
On a larger scale, generalizations and allegations are often used to discount phenomena that do not fit into baseless social prejudices, schemes and stereotypes; they are also used to maintain the status quo. Thus, any one aspect of the problem is blown up so much that a serious conversation becomes impossible. For example, when popular personalities are accused of rape, many immediately begin to shout that such accusations sometimes turn out to be false. And, although false accusations do occur, they are still quite rare, and in this case, the actions of one person are attributed to the majority, while the specific accusation is ignored.
Such everyday manifestations of microaggression are typical of destructive relationships. For example, you tell a narcissist that his behavior is unacceptable, and in response he immediately makes an allegation about your hypersensitivity or a generalization like: “ You are always dissatisfied with everything or "You don't like anything at all" instead of focusing on the actual problem. Yes, you may be oversensitive at times - but it's equally likely that your abuser is insensitive and callous most of the time.
Stick to the truth and try to resist unfounded generalizations, because this is just a form of completely illogical black and white thinking. Behind destructive people who spread unfounded generalizations is not the full wealth of human experience - only their own limited experience, coupled with an inflated sense of self-worth.
5. Deliberate perversion of your thoughts and feelings to the point of complete absurdity.
In the hands of a narcissist or sociopath, your differences of opinion, justified emotions, and real experiences turn into character flaws and evidence of your irrationality.
Narcissists make up all sorts of tall tales, paraphrasing what you said in such a way that your position looks absurd or unacceptable. Let's say you point out to a destructive friend that you don't like the way he talks to you. In response, he twists your words: " Oh, and you are with us, so perfection itself? or "So you think I'm bad?- although you just expressed your feelings. This gives them the opportunity to nullify your right to think and feel about their inappropriate behavior and instills guilt in you when you try to set boundaries.
This common distraction is a cognitive distortion called "mind reading." Destructive people think they know your thoughts and feelings. They regularly jump to conclusions based on their own reactions instead of listening carefully to you. They act accordingly based on their own illusions and delusions and never apologize for the harm they cause as a result. Great masters of putting words into other people's mouths, they expose you as carriers of absolutely wildest intentions and opinions. They accuse you of being inadequate before you even comment on their behavior, and this is also a form of preemptive defense.
The best way to draw a clear line in dealing with such a person is to simply say: I did not say that)”, ending the conversation if he continues to accuse you of something that you did not do or say. As long as the destructive person has the ability to shift blame and divert the conversation away from their own behavior, they will continue to make you feel ashamed for daring to contradict them.
6. Nagging and changing the rules of the game.
The difference between constructive and destructive criticism is the absence of personal attacks and unattainable standards. These so-called "critics" have no desire to help you improve - they just like to pick on, humiliate and scapegoat you. Narcissistic sadists and sociopaths resort to a sophism called "game changer" to ensure that they have every reason to be constantly unhappy with you. This is when, even after you've provided all sorts of evidence to support your argument or taken all possible steps to meet their request, they make a new claim or want more evidence.
Do you have a successful career? The narcissist will nitpick why you are still not a multimillionaire. Did you satisfy his need for 24/7 babysitting? Now prove that you can remain "independent". The rules of the game will constantly change and can easily even contradict each other; the sole purpose of this game is to get you to seek the attention and approval of a narcissist.
By constantly raising or replacing expectations, destructive manipulators can instill in you a pervasive sense of worthlessness and a constant fear of inadequacy. By isolating one minor episode or one of your failures and blowing it up to gigantic proportions, the narcissist forces you to forget about your own strengths and instead worry about your weaknesses or shortcomings all the time. It forces you to think about new expectations that you will now have to meet, and as a result you go out of your way to satisfy his every demand - and in the end it turns out that he still treats you badly.
Do not be fooled by nitpicking and changing the rules of the game - if a person prefers to suck over some insignificant episode over and over again, while not paying attention to all your attempts to confirm his case or satisfy his requirements, then he is not driven at all by the desire to understand you. He is driven by the desire to make you feel that you must constantly strive to earn his approval. Appreciate and approve of yourself. Know that you are a whole person and should not constantly feel ungrateful or unworthy.
7. Change of topic to avoid responsibility.
I call this maneuver A-what-me-syndrome?". This is a literal digression from the topic under discussion in order to transfer attention to a completely different one. Narcissists do not want to discuss the issue of their personal responsibility, so they divert the conversation in the direction they want. Are you complaining that he doesn't make time for the kids? It will remind you of the mistake you made seven years ago. This maneuver knows neither temporal nor thematic framework and often begins with the words: “ When you...»
At the public level, these techniques are used to derail discussions that challenge the status quo. A conversation about gay rights, for example, can be derailed as soon as one of the participants raises the issue of another pressing issue, diverting everyone's attention from the original dispute.
As Tara Moss, author of Speaking Out: A 21st Century Handbook for Women and Girls, points out, specificity is needed for proper consideration and resolution of issues - this does not mean that the topics raised along the way are not important, it just means that for each topic there are its time and its context.
Do not be distructed; if someone is trying to change concepts, use the “broken record” method, as I call it: keep repeating facts stubbornly without deviating from the topic. Move the arrows back, say: " I'm not talking about that now. Let's not get distracted". If it does not help, stop the conversation and direct your energy to a more useful channel - for example, find an interlocutor who is not stuck in mental development at the level of a three-year-old baby.
8. Hidden and overt threats.
Narcissists and other destructive personalities feel very uncomfortable when their belief that the whole world is indebted to them, a false sense of superiority or colossal self-esteem is called into question by someone. They tend to make unreasonable demands on others - and in doing so, punish you for not living up to their unattainable expectations.
Instead of maturely resolving disagreements and seeking compromise, they are trying to deprive you of the right to your own opinion, seeking to teach you to be afraid of the consequences of any disagreement with them or non-compliance with their requirements. They respond to any disagreement with an ultimatum, their standard reaction is " do this, otherwise I will do that».
If, in response to your attempts to mark the line or express an excellent opinion, you hear an orderly tone and threats, whether it be veiled hints or detailed promises of punishments, this is a sure sign: you are facing a person who is sure that everyone owes him, and he will never go on compromise. Take the threats seriously and show the narcissist that you are not joking by documenting them if possible and reporting them to the appropriate authorities.
9. Insults.
Narcissists preemptively make a big deal of bullshit whenever they sense the slightest threat to their sense of superiority. In their understanding, only they are always right, and anyone who dares to say otherwise inflicts a narcissistic injury on them, leading to narcissistic rage. According to Dr. Mark Goulston, narcissistic rage is not the result of low self-esteem, but rather a belief in one's own infallibility and a false sense of superiority.
In the lowest of this type, narcissistic rage takes the form of insults when they fail to otherwise influence your opinion or emotions. Insults are a quick and easy way to offend, humiliate and ridicule your mental abilities, appearance or behavior, while depriving you of the right to be a person with your own opinion.
Insults can also be used to criticize your beliefs, opinions and ideas. A well-founded point of view or a compelling rebuttal suddenly becomes "ridiculous" or "idiotic" in the hands of a narcissist or sociopath who feels hurt but can't make a substantive objection. Unable to find the strength to attack your argument, the narcissist attacks you, seeking in every possible way to undermine your authority and question your mental abilities. As soon as insults are used, it is necessary to interrupt further communication and unequivocally state that you do not intend to tolerate this. Don't take it personally: understand that they resort to insults only because they don't know any other way to get their point across.
10. "Training".
Destructive people teach you to associate your strengths, talents, and happy memories with abuse, disappointment, and disrespect. To this end, they, as if by chance, make derogatory remarks about your qualities and properties that they themselves once admired, and also sabotage your goals, spoil your holidays, vacations and weekends. They can even isolate you from friends and loved ones and make you financially dependent on them. You, like Pavlov's dogs, are essentially "trained", making you afraid to do all the things that once made your life rich.
Narcissists, sociopaths, psychopaths, and other destructive personalities do this to divert all attention to themselves and how you can meet their needs. If some external factor can prevent them from completely and completely controlling your life, they seek to destroy it. They need to be the center of attention all the time. At the stage of idealization you were the center of the narcissist's world - and now the narcissist should be the center of your world.
In addition, narcissists are naturally morbidly jealous and cannot stand the thought that anything can shield you even in the slightest from their influence. For them, your happiness is everything that is not available to them in their emotionally scarce existence. After all, if you find that you can get respect, love, and support from someone who is non-destructive, what will keep you from parting with them? In the hands of a destructive person, "training" is an effective way to get you to tiptoe and always stop halfway to your dream.
11. Slander and persecution.
When destructive personalities cannot control how you perceive yourself, they begin to control how others perceive you; they take on the role of a martyr, making you look destructive. Slander and gossip is a preemptive strike designed to destroy your reputation and tarnish your name. so that you have no support left in case you still decide to break off the relationship and leave the destructive partner. They may even harass and harass you or someone you know, ostensibly to "expose" you; such "exposure" is just a way to cover up your own destructive behavior by projecting it onto you.
Sometimes gossip hardens against each other two or even entire groups of people. The victim in a destructive relationship with a narcissist often doesn't know what's being said about her as long as the relationship lasts, but usually the whole truth comes out when it breaks down.
Destructive people will gossip behind your back (and to your face too), tell nasty things about you to your or your loved ones, spread rumors that make you the aggressor and them the victim, and attribute to you exactly such actions, accusations of which on your part they fear the most. In addition, they will methodically, covertly and intentionally hurt you, so that later they will cite your reactions as evidence that they are the “victim” in your relationship.
The best way to counteract slander is to always control yourself and stick to the facts. This is especially true for conflict divorces with narcissists, who may deliberately provoke you in order to use your reactions against you later. If possible, document any form of harassment, intimidation and abuse (including online), try to communicate with the narcissist only through your lawyer. When it comes to harassment and intimidation, you should contact law enforcement; it is advisable to find a lawyer who is well versed in narcissistic personality disorder. Your honesty and sincerity will speak for themselves as the mask begins to peel off the narcissist.
12. Love bombardment and devaluation.
Destructive people take you through the stage of idealization until you take the bait and start a friendship or romantic relationship with them. Then they begin to devalue you, expressing contempt for everything that attracted them to you in the first place. Another typical case is when a destructive person puts you on a pedestal and begins to aggressively devalue and humiliate someone else who threatens his sense of superiority.
Narcissists do this all the time: they scold their exes around new partners/partners, and over time begin to treat new ones with the same disdain. Ultimately, any partner of a narcissist will experience the same thing as the previous ones. In such a relationship, you will inevitably become another ex, whom he will vilify in the same way with his next girlfriend. You just don't know it yet. So don't forget about the love bombardment method if your partner's behavior towards others contrasts sharply with the sugary sweetness that he displays in a relationship with you.
As personal development instructor Wendy Powell advises, a good way to resist love bombardment from someone you see as potentially destructive is to take your time. Keep in mind that the way a person speaks of others can foreshadow how they will one day feel about you.
13. Preventive defense.
When someone overemphasizes that he/she is a “nice guy” or “nice girl”, they immediately begin to say that you should “trust him (her)”, or assure you of their honesty out of the blue - be careful.
Destructive and violent individuals exaggerate their ability to be kind and compassionate. They often tell you that you should "trust" them without first building a solid foundation for such trust. They can skillfully "disguise" themselves, portraying a high level of empathy and empathy at the beginning of your relationship, only to later reveal their true identity. When the cycle of violence reaches the stage of devaluation, the mask begins to slip, and you see their true nature: terribly cold, callous and dismissive.
Genuinely good people rarely have to constantly brag about their positive qualities - they exude warmth rather than talk about it, and they know that actions are much more important than words. They know that trust and respect is a two-way street that requires reciprocity, not constant suggestion.
To counter preemptive defense, consider why the person emphasizes their good qualities. Because he thinks you don't trust him, or because he knows he's not trustworthy? Judge not by empty words, but by deeds; it is actions that will tell you whether the person in front of you matches the one he claims to be.
14. Triangulation.
Referring to an opinion, point of view, or the threat of drawing an outsider into the communication dynamic is called "triangulation." A common device for asserting the rightness of a destructive individual and discounting the victim's reactions, triangulation often leads to love triangles in which you feel defenseless and unbalanced.
Narcissists love to triangulate with strangers, co-workers, ex-spouses, friends, and even family members to make them jealous and insecure. They also use the opinions of others to support their point of view.
This maneuver is meant to take your attention away from the psychological abuse and present the narcissist in a positive way as a popular, desirable person. Plus, you start to doubt yourself: since Mary agrees with Tom, it turns out that I'm still wrong? In fact, narcissists are happy to “tell” you nasty things that others supposedly said about you, while they themselves say nasty things behind your back.
To counter triangulation, remember that whoever the narcissist triangulates you with, that person is also triangulated by your relationship with the narcissist. Essentially, the narcissist is in charge of all the roles. Answer him with your own "triangulation" - find the support of a third party beyond his control, and do not forget that your position also has value.
15. Lure and pretend to be innocent.
Destructive personalities create a false sense of security to make it easier for them to demonstrate their cruelty. It is worth such a person to drag you into a senseless, random quarrel - and it will quickly develop into a showdown, because he does not know the feeling of respect. Petty disagreement can be bait, and even if you initially restrain yourself as polite, you will quickly realize that it is driven by a malicious desire to humiliate you.
Having "lured" you with a seemingly innocent comment disguised as a rational argument, they begin to play with you. Remember: narcissists know your weaknesses, nasty phrases that undermine your self-confidence, and painful topics that open up old wounds - and they use this knowledge in their machinations to provoke you. Once you have swallowed the bait whole, the narcissist will calm down and innocently ask if you are “okay”, assuring that he “did not mean” to stir your soul. This feigned innocence takes you by surprise and makes you believe he didn't really mean to hurt you, until it starts happening so often that you can no longer deny his obvious malicious intent.
It is advisable to immediately understand when they are trying to lure you in order to stop communication as soon as possible. Common baiting techniques are provocative statements, insults, hurtful accusations, or unfounded generalizations. Trust your intuition: if some phrase seemed to you somehow “not like that”, and this feeling did not go away even after the interlocutor explained it, perhaps this is a signal that you should slowly comprehend the situation before reacting.
16. Boundary checking and vacuum cleaner tactics.
Narcissists, sociopaths, and other destructive personalities are constantly testing your boundaries to see which ones can be violated. The more violations they can commit with impunity, the further they will go.
This is why survivors of emotional and physical abuse often face even more abuse whenever they decide to return to their abusers.
Abusers often resort to "vacuum cleaner tactics", as if "sucking" their victim back with sweet promises, fake remorse and empty words about how they change, only to subject them to new bullying. In the sick mind of the abuser, this boundary testing serves as a punishment for trying to resist the violence, as well as for returning to it. When a narcissist tries to start over from scratch, reinforce the boundaries even more, rather than retreat from them.
Remember: manipulators do not respond to empathy and sympathy. They only react to the consequences.
17. Aggressive injections under the guise of jokes.
Covert narcissists love to tell you nasty things. They pass them off as just jokes”, as if reserving the right to make disgusting comments while maintaining an innocent calm. But as soon as you get angry at rude, obnoxious remarks, they accuse you of not having a sense of humor. This is a common technique for verbal abuse.
The manipulator betrays a contemptuous smirk and a sadistic gleam in his eyes: like a predator playing with prey, he enjoys the fact that he can offend you with impunity. This is just a joke, right? Not this way. It's a way to convince you that his insults are just a joke, a way to turn the conversation from his cruelty to your alleged hypersensitivity. In such cases, it is important to stand your ground and make it clear that you will not tolerate such treatment.
When you bring these hidden insults to the attention of the manipulator, he can easily resort to gaslighting, but continue to defend your position that his behavior is unacceptable, and if it does not help, stop communicating with him.
18. Condescending sarcasm and patronizing tone.
Belittling and humiliating others is a destructive person's forte, and tone of voice is just one of the many tools in his arsenal. Giving each other sarcastic remarks can be fun when it's mutual, but the narcissist uses sarcasm purely as a form of manipulation and humiliation. And if it bothers you, then you overly sensitive».
Nothing that he himself throws tantrums whenever someone dares to criticize his inflated ego - no, it is the victim who is hypersensitive. When you are constantly being treated like a child and being challenged for your every statement, you develop a natural fear of expressing your feelings without fear of reprimand. This kind of self-censorship saves the abuser from having to shut your mouth because you are doing it yourself.
When faced with a condescending demeanor or patronizing tone, state it clearly and concisely. You do not deserve to be spoken to like a child, and even more so you do not have to remain silent for the sake of someone's megalomania.
19. Shame.
"Aren `t you ashamed!"- a favorite saying of destructive people. Although it can be heard from quite normal people, in the mouth of a narcissist and a psychopath, shame is an effective method of dealing with all sorts of views and actions that threaten their undivided power. It is also used to destroy and nullify the victim's self-esteem: if the victim dares to be proud of something, then instilling shame in him for that particular trait, quality or achievement can lower his self-esteem and stifle any pride in the bud.
Narcissists, sociopaths, and psychopaths love to use your wounds against you; they may even make you feel ashamed of the wrongs or abuse you have suffered, causing you new psychological trauma. Did you experience abuse as a child? A narcissist or sociopath will tell you that you somehow deserved it, or brag about their own happy childhood in order to make you feel inadequate and worthless. What better way to offend you than to pick up old wounds? Like a doctor in reverse, a destructive person seeks to deepen your wound, not heal it.
If you suspect that you are dealing with a destructive person, try to hide your vulnerable sides or long-term psychological trauma from him. Until he proves that he can be trusted, you should not give him information that can then be used against you.
20. Control.
The most important thing: destructive people seek to control you in any way they can. They isolate you, manage your finances and social circles, and rule over every aspect of your life. But the most powerful tool in their arsenal is playing on your feelings.
That is why narcissists and sociopaths create conflict situations out of the blue, as long as you feel insecure and unstable. That is why they constantly argue over trifles and get angry at the slightest provocation. That is why they become emotionally isolated, and then again rush to idealize you, as soon as they feel that they are losing control. That is why they oscillate between their true and false selves, and you never feel psychologically safe because you cannot understand what your partner really is.
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Ellis, who described one of the forms of defective behavior, correlated with the famous ancient Greek legend about Narcissus, who was cursed and died because of unrequited love for his own reflection. Later, this phenomenon was considered by Sigmund Freud in the framework of the theory of psychoanalysis, which claimed that the narcissistic syndrome manifests itself in one way or another in any person, in particular, in sexual behavior. In his opinion, in childhood, narcissism is an integral character trait that does no harm, provided that the child develops correctly and harmoniously.
The French researcher Marie-France Yrigoyen described in her works the essence of the so-called perverse narcissism, which consists in a certain perverted attitude of a person towards himself and others, considered by him exclusively as objects for use. To put it another way, the perverted narcissist is a perversely narcissistic person who oscillates between extremes from self-adoration to contempt. In fact, when perverse narcissism is mentioned, we are talking about a malignant form of the disorder.
Modern psychology considers narcissism as a mental illness that leads to a violation of a person's self-identification. The self-esteem of a person with such a disorder is entirely dependent on the opinions of others, which leads to a clear demonstrative behavior. Afraid of facing criticism, narcissists try to demonstrate their own abilities in the best possible way. This is the positive aspects of the narcissistic temperament - the constant striving for the ideal allows you to implement really grandiose plans, the feeling of envy motivates you to further vigorous activity, and dependence on the opinions of other people makes excellent listeners out of narcissists. However, pathological narcissism can significantly complicate life, both for the person himself and for his environment, since they distinguish special destructive forms of the disorder that lead to unpleasant consequences. Only qualified treatment will help to avoid them.
And although within the framework of modern psychoanalysis the concept of "narcissism" remains one of the most vague, experts distinguish several of its types. Thus, the constructive form of narcissism is a kind of self-love and a positive attitude towards various areas of life with an adequately high self-esteem. In behavior, this is manifested by self-confidence, self-control, the ability to quickly find solutions in difficult situations and resist pressure from others.
A certain underdeveloped form of constructive narcissism is the so-called deficit narcissism, characterized by the inability of the individual to feel self-sufficient and form an adequate and holistic view of his own personality. Such people usually have a strong dependence on the opinions of others, are distinguished by pliability and passivity.
Destructive narcissism is a violation of a person's ability to adequately and realistically evaluate himself. Such people pathologically need constant attention and confirmation of their own importance, while they are distinguished by their inability to trust, close relationships. Speaking of the aforementioned perverted narcissism, it is worth noting that it is also destructive. To a large extent, this disorder can manifest itself in autism, delusions, paranoid reactions, as well as psychosomatic disorders. In such cases, experts speak of malignant narcissism.
Predisposing factors
It is often quite difficult to determine the causes of narcissism, however, experts still distinguish several groups of factors predisposing to this disorder. Most scientists agree that the formation of perverse narcissism, as well as other forms of the disease, lies in the characteristics of education in early childhood. Psychologists view narcissism as an egocentric behavior often caused by an inferiority complex. Low self-esteem in childhood can be the result of inadequate upbringing, for example, with permissiveness or, conversely, excessive severity. In addition, a narcissistic disorder can form in children who do not receive the approval of their parents, their support, or, on the contrary, receive praise too often and for no reason, being a kind of object of worship in the family.
Psychologists also consider other factors that contribute to the development of narcissism. So, heredity plays a certain role here, especially temperament, the level of stress resistance. Quite often, narcissism occurs in adolescents, although in puberty it is not always harmful and smoothes out as they grow older.
Perverse narcissism can be a symptom of some kind of mental illness. So, manifestations of this disorder were observed in patients with schizophrenia. At the same time, patients completely lost touch with reality and considered themselves god-like beings.
Peculiarities
The signs of narcissism are very diverse. You can talk about the presence of a mental disorder when the following symptoms occur (at least five of them):
- a tendency to fantasize about great success, fame, money, attention of the opposite sex. Moreover, such fantasies often have nothing to do with reality;
- the need for constant attention and approval from others;
- exaggeration of one's own merits, knowledge, skills and significance in general;
- unshakable confidence in their uniqueness, unique talents, genius, which, as a rule, remains unrecognized;
- envy;
- propensity to use other people for selfish purposes;
- demonstrative behavior in order to show one's own superiority;
- a tendency to increase one's own rights, neglecting duties;
- unwillingness to understand the feelings of others, even the closest people, lack of ability to empathize;
- a tendency to hide their own shortcomings and focus on others;
- any criticism causes an angry reaction or is simply ignored.
Manifestations in men and women
Male narcissism manifests itself mainly in attempts to achieve a certain significance in their own eyes and in the eyes of those around them. Trying to satisfy his ambitions, a male narcissist can achieve stunning success in his career, but this success is quickly replaced by spiritual emptiness. Up to about thirty-five - forty years, ever-increasing aspirations do not cause concern, as new goals and tasks constantly appear that require implementation. However, with age, men with a similar warehouse of character begin to feel more and more unhappy. In addition, with this mental disorder, difficulties arise in establishing relationships with others, including members of one's own family. With perverse narcissism, manifestations of aggression towards others are possible - such men are often called domestic tyrants.
Female narcissism also often manifests itself in ambition. Often there are difficulties in communicating with their own children, associated with excessive demands and disappointment when the child does not live up to expectations. Interestingly, female narcissists often choose calm, caring men as a life partner, but at the same time they do not have any respect for them. An even more difficult situation arises when both spouses have a narcissistic temperament. In this case, there is a constant struggle between them, including in causticity and criticism towards each other. Naturally, such relationships almost never last long.
Diagnostics
Diagnosis of perverse narcissism and its other forms begins with a physical examination of the patient, which makes it possible to identify possible pathologies that led to a personality disorder. If diseases are not detected, a structured interview is of key importance in diagnosing, during which a psychiatrist or psychologist analyzes the responses and behavior of the patient, drawing appropriate conclusions and identifying the characteristic signs of a mental disorder. As a rule, frank narcissism is quite easy to identify, since patients have pronounced disharmony in almost all areas of life, and its denial by the patients themselves becomes another typical sign. Also, when making a diagnosis, an inadequate, sharp reaction to criticism is taken into account. The signs of pathology are also determined through specially designed psychological tests and questionnaires.
When examining patients with perverse narcissism, it is necessary to differentiate the disease from asocial, borderline and hysterical disorders. Since the patient himself is not aware of the morbidity of his condition, his close relatives usually turn to the doctor for help, from whom the specialist can also obtain a lot of information of diagnostic value.
Fighting methods
When choosing treatment tactics, each clinical case is considered by the doctor individually. Since this type of mental disorder is chronic, therapy can be difficult. As a rule, competent psychological assistance is of key importance in working with such patients. Since patients themselves rarely voluntarily agree to treatment, it is extremely important for a specialist to find the right approach to the patient. Quite often, doctors use tactics in which they initially show a favorable and respectful attitude towards the patient.
Good results in the fight against perverse narcissism are shown by treatment with the help of psychotherapy. Classes are held in individual and group form. Explanatory conversations are conducted with patients, helping to realize the painfulness of their own condition, accept it and find constructive solutions in order to learn how to regulate their own self-esteem. It is very important that the psychotherapist is able to correctly reveal the essence of the disease, otherwise the patient may simply refuse treatment, fearing to lose self-esteem due to "mental exposure".
The use of drug therapy is possible in the presence of a depressive disorder, panic attacks, phobias and other mental disorders. In such situations, the doctor usually prescribes tranquilizers, antidepressants, and a number of herbal remedies. It is worth considering that drugs do not treat the narcissism syndrome itself, but only eliminate its clinical manifestations.
Prevention measures
Since narcissism is formed under the influence of certain factors, it can be avoided if you contribute to the development of a normal personality type in childhood:
- it is necessary to maintain in the child a sense of self-respect and independence from the opinions of strangers;
- children should not be prohibited from crying to express resentment or grief;
- if necessary, parents should be able to say a firm “no” to the child, without indulging whims;
- no need to skimp on praise when the child really deserves it, at the same time, psychologists do not recommend showing off the achievements of the child in his own presence;
- the child should not become an unwitting witness to family quarrels;
- upbringing should be built in such a way that the child understands that he lives in society, and that society does not function exclusively for him.
As already mentioned, some manifestations of narcissism are often characteristic of children and adolescents. It is necessary to consult a doctor if, as they grow older, they do not smooth out, but only intensify, making it difficult to interact normally in society.
Syndrome of narcissism
The narcissism syndrome is a mental disorder that manifests itself as a feeling of one's own "specialness" and grandiosity with a suppressed feeling of insignificance and inner emptiness. The development of the syndrome of narcissism is associated with the formation of a false "I" in childhood, due to the early assessment of the feelings, actions and character of the child, combined with excessive admiration or, on the contrary, coldness and neglect. The severity and external manifestations of the disorder may vary. The diagnosis is made on the basis of a conversation with the patient and the results of special surveys. Treatment is psychotherapy.
Syndrome of narcissism
The syndrome of narcissism is pathological narcissism, a sense of one's own grandiosity, combined with inner emptiness, suppressed feelings of envy, guilt and shame. The syndrome of narcissism is one of the most urgent problems of modern psychotherapy and clinical psychology. Mental health experts say the number of narcissists has multiplied in recent decades. Some Western psychologists are even proposing to revise the diagnostic criteria for the narcissistic syndrome, since signs that were previously considered pathological are now being detected in many people of young and middle age.
It is assumed that the increase in the number of patients with the syndrome of narcissism may be due to the changed attitudes of society: the priority of external success, increased competition in all areas of life, etc. Despite the objective circumstances, this state of affairs cannot be considered the norm, since the syndrome of narcissism entails constant dissatisfaction personal and social relationships, an increase in the number of single people and unhappy married couples, and also increases the risk of developing depression, alcoholism and drug addiction. The treatment of narcissism syndrome is carried out by specialists in the field of psychotherapy and clinical psychology.
Causes of Narcissistic Syndrome
Experts believe that this disorder is inherited, however, such transmission is not due to genetic characteristics, but to psychological deformation as a result of close communication with a parent or other significant adult suffering from narcissistic syndrome. The reason for the development of this pathology is the early assessment of the child, an explicit or implicit requirement to meet certain standards. Such evaluation can manifest itself in two main ways - in excessive admiration and in rejection and neglect.
In both cases, the impetus for the development of the syndrome of narcissism is the non-recognition of the baby as a person, the rejection of his character, temperament, abilities, feelings and needs. The expressed conditionality of parental love becomes the reason for the formation of a false "I". The child feels an implicit (in case of excessive admiration) or explicit (in case of excessive demands) threat of rejection. Parents devalue his real personality, and the patient suffering from the syndrome of narcissism, trying to maintain love and intimacy, gets used, following his parents, to reject and devalue his “bad”, “wrong” part.
The “wrong” part is repressed; deep down, the narcissistic sufferer feels miserable. Success does not bring joy and peace, because the patient does not recognize and does not satisfy his true needs. In place of repressed feelings, an inner emptiness arises. The life of a patient with the syndrome of narcissism turns into a pursuit of external confirmation of his success, exclusivity and uniqueness. A pronounced external locus of control causes extreme instability of self-esteem. The patient constantly "swings" between insignificance and grandiosity.
Symptoms of Narcissism Syndrome
The main signs of the narcissism syndrome are negatively expressed doubts, indicating narcissism, vanity, selfishness and indifference to others. Narcissists have a need for constant attention and adoration. They exaggerate their achievements, consider themselves special, unique and inimitable. “Ordinary”, “ordinary”, “just like everyone else” in the eyes of a patient with a syndrome of narcissism looks like an unbearable insult.
Patients fantasize and set unrealistic goals. The subject of fantasy usually becomes an incredible success in life, admiration, wealth, power, beauty, or extraordinary love. To achieve their goals (both large and small, everyday), they use other people. Patients with narcissistic syndrome are arrogant and incapable of empathy. They do not understand or do not recognize the feelings, needs and interests of others, they assume that other people must unquestioningly agree with their desires and point of view.
Patients with the syndrome of narcissism are sure that those around them envy them. They are easily hurt, extremely sensitive to criticism, resentment and failure, and often show aggression on minor occasions. Shame in narcissism syndrome is unbearable. The inability to recognize and accept one's own feelings, combined with excessive demands on oneself and others, activates a whole range of defense mechanisms. Patients with narcissistic syndrome tend to judge themselves and others. They criticize, express contempt and regret, devalue or ignore. At the heart of this behavior is repressed envy, the need to destroy what others have and what the sick lack.
Other traits that are characteristic of the narcissistic syndrome are perfectionism and frustration. These are closely related methods of protection. On the one hand, people with narcissistic syndrome try not to become attached to anyone in order to avoid disappointment, since they consider any close relationship potentially traumatic. On the other hand, they create ideal images of the future in their imagination, and then become disappointed by the discrepancy between reality and the ideal (they alternate between idealization and depreciation).
The inner experiences of a patient with the syndrome of narcissism are contradictory, extremely ambivalent. He feels either self-sufficiency and superiority over other people, or shame, envy, falsehood and emptiness. This phenomenon is associated with the lack of a full-fledged holistic image of the "I" in the syndrome of narcissism. The patient's personality cannot simply be, it is viewed from opposite positions and emotionally evaluated in the categories of "absolute plus" (grandness) or "absolute minus" (insignificance).
On the rare occasion that a patient with narcissistic syndrome succeeds in achieving his goal, a grand outcome occurs. This outcome fuels a sense of uniqueness and gives you the opportunity to be respected for your accomplishments. In case of failure, the patient with the syndrome of narcissism is exhausted, "falls" into insignificance, a sense of his own defectiveness. Throughout life, patients constantly try to protect themselves from feelings of insignificance by avoiding feelings and actions that may contribute to the realization of their inadequacy and dependence on other people.
Diagnosis and treatment of narcissism syndrome
The diagnosis is made on the basis of a conversation with the patient and test results using special questionnaires. Many patients with narcissistic syndrome perceive the diagnosis as an accusation. Resentment, aggression and refusal of treatment are possible, so the doctor reports the diagnosis carefully, extremely carefully, focusing on acceptance and non-judgment. Treatment of narcissism syndrome is carried out on an outpatient basis by a psychologist or psychotherapist. Long-term consistent work is needed to recognize repressed feelings of envy, shame and fear of being ordinary, "like everyone else."
In the presence of relatives suffering from the syndrome of narcissism, a study of relations with a significant adult is carried out, during which the patient learns to identify manifestations of the disorder in a relative. He becomes aware of his feelings about judgmental, manipulative behavior, and other problems that people have when they come into contact with a narcissist, and then develops new, healthier ways to respond. Over time, the patient learns to monitor the manifestations of the narcissism syndrome not only in a relative, but also in himself. This, along with awareness of envy, shame, and other negative feelings, provides resources and opportunities for behavior change.
Transactional analysis and gestalt therapy are considered the most effective psychotherapeutic methods for narcissistic syndrome. It is possible to use other long-term methods, for example, classical psychoanalysis or Jung's depth psychotherapy. The prognosis depends on the severity of the disorder, the age of the patient with the narcissistic syndrome, and the level of his motivation. With constant active cooperation with a psychologist or psychotherapist, a significant reduction in narcissistic manifestations and an improvement in the quality of life is possible.
Is Narcissism a Mental Illness or a Trait?
Recently, the slogan has been popular - love yourself, otherwise success in life will not be achieved. When there is increased and unjustified self-love, then this is already narcissism, which can cause serious problems. It is important to deal with such deviations, otherwise the situation may worsen.
What is Narcissism - Definition
Psychologists believe that self-love is of great importance for every person, but there are times when everything goes beyond the limits and then we can already talk about narcissism. This is understood as a character trait, which is expressed in inflated self-esteem and inexplicable love for one's own person. Explaining why people are called daffodils, it is worth mentioning the ancient Greek myth that tells about the son of the river god, who loved himself so much that he could not tear himself away from his reflection in the river and eventually died of exhaustion.
Destructive narcissism
This kind of narcissism means a distortion or impairment of the ability to really perceive and evaluate oneself. It arises because of existing fears, disappointments, prohibitions, prejudices, and so on. The syndrome of narcissism manifests itself in a great desire to be in the center of attention and to receive confirmation of one's own importance from the people around. The destructive view is characterized by an inadequate-contradictory assessment of oneself. In addition, such people are closed and distortedly perceive others.
pathological narcissism
This term refers to a violation of character with serious personality disorders. People with such a problem can lead a successful life and occupy significant cells in society. Pathological narcissism is a psychological disease that can begin to form from infancy, and the cause may lie both in the coldness of the mother and in excessive love.
Primary Narcissism
This condition refers to the characteristics of the newborn and is explained by the fact that the libido is more turned on itself than on the outside world. Primary narcissism describes the original state of the baby, since he is not yet able to distinguish between himself and external objects. The child feels omnipotent because all his needs are met quickly and unconditionally. In the future, the narcissist will be tempted to return to their original sense of security and narcissism, and this is secondary narcissism.
perverted narcissism
This is the most severe form of the flow of narcissism, in which a person is not able to perceive other people as individuals. He easily takes advantage of others and does not think about their feelings and desires. The characteristic of a narcissist indicates that he constantly wants to assert himself at the expense of others, but at the same time he does not enter into an open conflict. People with this disorder enjoy moral violence. The consequences of dealing with such a narcissist can be dire, ranging from severe depression to suicide.
Narcissism and sex
The presented concept in sexology has a different meaning, and it is understood as receiving sexual satisfaction from oneself, for example, while observing one's body in a mirror. Psychopathy and narcissism are linked by the fact that when the situation is aggravated, the person has obsessive thoughts and actions, for example, frequent and prolonged masturbation. Often, this state of affairs leads to serious disorders and one cannot do without the help of a specialist. Since narcissists are constantly on the lookout for the perfect partner, they often engage in promiscuity.
Signs of Narcissism
You can recognize a person who admires himself by several features:
- He likes to talk, so in any issue he will certainly insert his opinion, but what others say does not interest him at all. In addition, when telling any news, narcissists necessarily apply it to themselves.
- Take care of your health and appearance.
- Narcissism and personality transformation are manifested in the fact that a person constantly thinks for himself, so that he is comfortable and comfortable.
- He cannot calmly accept constructive criticism, and the narcissist considers even a small remark an insult.
- Negatively refers to people who require care, this also applies to animals. This is explained by the fact that they attract the attention of others, and narcissists do not like to share.
- Narcissism manifests itself in the desire to hide their shortcomings and exaggerate their virtues.
Narcissism in men
In most cases, male narcissism manifests itself in the desire to assert oneself and prove oneself and others one's worth. Narcissists are literally delusional about success, are two-faced and consumers of women. Psychology explains that narcissism in men is a path to loneliness, since problems in the family and society cannot be avoided. If the worst form of this psychological state is observed, then aggression can manifest itself, expressed in domestic tyranny.
Narcissism in women - signs
Women who suffer from narcissism spend a lot on caring for their own appearance. Very rarely, such ladies earn money on their own, and they have sponsors, for example, men or parents. Narcissism in women is manifested in their consumer attitude towards members of the opposite sex. What is most interesting is that men themselves admire such ladies, because they seem so inaccessible to them. Women with narcissism often have problems communicating with children because they have excessive demands on them.
Causes of Narcissism
Factors that provoke narcissism are of a different nature:
- Anatomical. Experiments have established that in people with such a deviation, there is a thickening of the cortex and the outer shell of the brain, as well as changes in some nerve cells. Scientists have determined that such failures relate to parts of the brain responsible for empathy.
- Psychological. Male and female narcissism can be triggered by different circumstances and this includes genetics, upbringing and numerous psychological factors. The most common reasons include overprotective parents, dependence on the opinions of others, psychological trauma and illness.
- Baby. Many parents do not even think about the fact that they are raising a child incorrectly. Permissiveness, excessive all-forgiving love, lack of attention from parents - all this can cause the development of narcissism, which is actually a defense mechanism.
Narcissism - treatment
It is rare to cope with a problem without the help of a psychologist. At first, a person will take a defensive position, so the specialist uses various tricks to win over the patient, for example, demonstrating his recognition and respect. At the same time, the psychologist uses numerous methods to regulate self-esteem. The disease of narcissism includes two types of therapy:
- Individual. The specialist uses various psychological practices, the main purpose of which is to explain to the patient the principles of the formation of narcissism so that he accepts his problem. Often this takes a long time.
- Group. Group work is essential as it helps to develop a healthy individuality and learn to perceive other people. Group therapy teaches you to suppress narcissism and feel normal in society.
Test for narcissism
To diagnose the disorder, different methods are used. It is mandatory to conduct a general examination and a survey of the close environment to find out what caused the development of the deviation. There is a generally accepted NPI test, which was developed in 1979, but it cannot be the only diagnostic tool. It is recommended to conduct the test together with a psychologist, who can additionally give close relatives of the patient advice on how to survive in the world of narcissism.
The NPI test (you can go here) consists of 40 pairs of statements, from which a person chooses only one option that suits him. It is not recommended to think about questions for a long time, as this reduces the effectiveness. The optimal time is 7-10 minutes. After that, the specialist analyzes the results and draws certain conclusions, such as what type of narcissism, how much the problem is aggravated, and so on. In addition, the results help the psychologist to develop the right treatment strategy.
Narcissism - a mental disorder or a type of character?
He is charming, ironic, witty, easily converges with people of different sex and age. In the company, he knows how to keep up the conversation on any topic, with pleasure he talks about his achievements and knowledge. He looks good, always impeccably dressed, has refined manners. At first glance, this is a holistic and outstanding personality, self-confident, educated, purposeful. Men involuntarily try to imitate him, women succumb to his charm and do not mind starting a relationship.
This description is an approximate psychological portrait of a narcissist - a person with a personality disorder that psychology classifies as narcissism.
The definition of "narcissism" implies a narcissistic personality disorder or character type of a person. In both cases, there is a special behavioral line in which a man or woman always tries to show himself in a favorable perspective, does not accept criticism, is incapable (incapable) of sincere long-term relationships with friends and spouses.
The term "narcissism" is borrowed from the ancient Greek myth about a beautiful young man named Narcissus, who, having seen his reflection in the water surface of the pond, fell in love with him so much that he died of unrequited feelings.
The modern world cultivates narcissism, cultivating in people the desire to be in the spotlight, bathe in glory, recognition, worship. Often, even individuals without mental disorders, with adequate self-esteem, develop similar traits in themselves. Narcissism is not always a mental disorder, it is often a personality type shaped by external or internal influences. Symptoms by which you can determine the presence of personality deviations:
- feeling and emphasizing one's own exclusivity, importance;
- aggressive reaction to criticism;
- striving for a beautiful life, success, wealth;
- rejection of someone else's opinion or opposing point of view;
- the desire to communicate with people of high status;
- the requirement of a special attitude towards oneself, admiration, attention, recognition of merits and denial of shortcomings;
- inability to show empathy and compassion for others;
- the tendency to rise above people, humiliating them;
- focus on the shortcomings of others;
- demonstration of one's merits, talents, skills, often exaggerated and unfounded;
The narcissist always puts his interests above the interests and needs of people, including those closest to him; does not feel pity for the one whom he offended, considering such behavior normal; does not know how to adequately accept defeat, falling into hysterics at every failure.
In most cases, narcissists are not born, they become in the process of growing up, becoming a person, self-education, development. What a person fills the brain determines what character traits he will develop; Will he be able to become a responsible and independent adult or will he remain a capricious selfish child requiring constant attention and care.
Psychological personality traits are laid down in early childhood. Although his character is largely influenced by genetic information, parents can do a lot to raise and educate a self-sufficient person who respects the dignity of others. Psychologists recommend following a certain line of behavior in raising children:
- 1. It is necessary to praise the baby and convince him of love, but there must be a good reason for praise, every minute admiration for every action of the child forms in him an exaggerated sense of his own exclusivity. When assuring children of love, you should not say: "I love you because you are the most beautiful (smart, talented, capable)". It is enough for a child that he is not loved for certain achievements or external data, but simply loved.
- 2. It is wrong to indulge all desires and whims. Immediately getting everything he wants, the child decides that it will always be so. You need to be able to say "no", explaining why mom will not buy another car or doll.
- 3. When telling friends or relatives about the child's achievements in studies, sports, creativity, they should not be exaggerated, embellished and emphasized that he always copes better than others. So you can form an unreasonably high self-esteem.
- 4. It is good when parents develop self-esteem in children, but it must be emphasized that the same feeling is inherent in other people and must be respected.
- 5. It is bad when a child is treated as the "center of the universe" by numerous relatives and friends of the family: every minute they praise, give gifts, constantly emphasize his exclusivity, originality, talent. The kid will believe in it, and when faced with adult life, he will understand that others do not think so. The realization of this will strike at his pride, complexes, personality disorders, including narcissism, may develop.
- 6. Extremes in education - permissiveness or excessive severity forms low self-esteem in children, which can subsequently develop into more serious psychological problems.
Children need to be taught from an early age communication skills, the ability to build relationships with peers and older people, respect other people's opinions, and calmly respond to comments made by them. Consistently and with respect for the personality of a small person, instilling these traits, parents protect the child from the possibility of encountering exaggerated narcissism and selfishness in the future.
Not always the right upbringing is the key to adequate personality formation. Narcissism sometimes has a mental nature, is a disease that does not depend on the lifestyle, conditions and environment surrounding a person. Often in such cases, psychopathy is manifested - a pathological syndrome, the hallmark of which is the complete absence of pity and sympathy for others, the inability to repent and regret about harming someone. The psychopath does not experience deep feelings and emotions, is incapable of love, is deceitful, heartless, often extremely cruel. The outcast narcissist falls into such a state, who has not been understood, not appreciated, not exalted.
In some cases, narcissism is caused by schizophrenia, a serious mental illness. Patients experience an exaggerated sense of their own superiority, sincerely believing in their special destiny. Sometimes the disease has extreme manifestations, when the schizophrenic considers himself a great person (prophet, messiah, messenger of God, or God himself).
Both psychopaths and schizophrenics need treatment with special drugs that control brain and mental activity. Treatment in a psychiatric clinic is necessary only in cases where the patient's behavior is dangerous to the life and health of others.
Depending on the cause and degree of personality changes, psychologists distinguish several forms of narcissism:
- 1. Constructive. A person loves himself, but evaluates adequately. Positive attitude to study, work, relationships. Self-confident, always in control of the situation, does not allow others to shape his thinking and exert pressure.
- 2. Deficient narcissism. A personality disorder in which a person is unable to adequately assess himself, his abilities, depends on the opinions of others, is passive, infantile, and easily influenced.
- 3. Destructive (perverse) narcissism. Patients experience a pathological need for attention and admiration, but they themselves are not able to praise others, make compliments and recognize merits. This disorder borders on a mental illness characterized by autism, paranoia, and delusions.
Deficient and perverted narcissism means that such a person will never support, sympathize, or come to the rescue. He is firmly convinced that the world should revolve around his person, the problems of the rest are insignificant and do not deserve attention.
For many people, the image of a narcissist is a young man or guy with good looks, wealthy, successful, arrogant, confident in his own irresistibility. In fact, women are also affected, but to a lesser extent. A female narcissist is difficult to identify, because a male's behavior, characterized by self-centeredness and a desire to attract attention, is more natural for women.
If a narcissist man is hardworking and purposeful, he often achieves career success, material wealth, and recognition. It is hard not to notice such men, they are bright, sociable, sociable. In any company, they quickly gain favor, attracting attention with their appearance and manners. But for people who are nearby, another side of their personality opens up. Tyranny, despotism, the desire to reign supreme over family members, subordinates are a hallmark of many narcissists.
The life of a narcissist, male or female, revolves around finding people for whom he will become an idol, an object of admiration, adoration, an unattainable ideal. Having found such a person, the narcissist becomes a good friend or marriage companion, but only until the partner admires him, extols his virtues and does not pay attention to mistakes and shortcomings. Dropped from an imaginary pedestal, such a person experiences mood swings, depression and affective disorders.
Paradoxically, narcissism is often based on a deeply disguised inferiority complex. Another paradox is that although the narcissist is dismissive of others, he cannot live without them. He needs an audience that admires him; without it, life loses all meaning.
You can get rid of such a disorder on your own if narcissism is a property of the individual, and not a mental problem. The main condition is the awareness of the unacceptability of one's behavior and the desire for psychological correction. With the help of a psychotherapist, a person will learn to adequately assess himself and his abilities, get along with other people, respect their dignity.
Mental illness narcissism: signs, treatment
Narcissism is a mental disorder of personality, manifested by inadequate self-esteem and increased attention to one's own person. Pathological self-love, accompanied by a desire to demonstrate one's superiority. The patient demonstrates a desire for external attractiveness, wealth, power, while not controlling his ambitions. He takes any praise and compliment for granted, and does not always consider it necessary to thank.
Trying to protect himself from feelings of envy towards people, a person suffering from narcissism does not show interest in their activities or work. Thus, he develops contempt for others. Therefore, such a person is incapable of empathy and the manifestation of emotions in relations with people.
People with narcissism are incapable of deep relationships. Even if they speak out loud about feelings and empathy for others, they don’t really feel it. The biggest fear in their lives is "to be like everyone else."
Unsuccessful attempts to get the recognition of others cause violent mood swings. The result is a state of loneliness and emptiness. For such patients, there are practically no moral values.
Symptoms of Narcissism
The symptoms of this mental disorder are very diverse. You can talk about the presence of narcissism in a person when he shows the following symptoms:
- Tendency to fantasies of great fame, money, success, attention of the opposite sex. But at the same time, all this is far from reality;
- Exaggeration of one's skills, capabilities, merits and self-importance;
- The need for constant attention from the surrounding people, in their approval;
- Absolute confidence in their originality and uniqueness, genius and special talents. Such confidence usually goes unrecognized;
- Envy of other people's success. The narcissist does not accept the fact that someone deserved success;
- Demonstrative presentation of oneself, in order to show others one's own superiority over them;
- The tendency to use other people to achieve their own selfish goals;
- Neglecting duties and increasing one's own rights is also a sign of narcissism;
- Lack of desire to understand the feelings of other people, even close ones, inability to empathize;
- Concentration on other people's shortcomings and denial of one's own. Any criticism can cause anger or complete disregard.
If a person has at least five of the above symptoms, then we can talk about his disease of narcissism.
The manifestation of narcissism in women and men
Narcissism in men is manifested, as a rule, in the desire to achieve significance in the eyes of those around them. By trying to satisfy this need, a man can achieve tremendous career success. But soon this is replaced by a feeling of inner emptiness.
Until the age of forty, the desire to grow socially does not cause concern, since there are always tasks and goals that need to be realized. But with age, such men feel unhappy. In addition, they have difficulties in relationships with others, as well as loved ones. Quite often, such men are called tyrants.
Narcissism in women is also manifested by ambitious behavior. Often there are problems in communicating with loved ones and even with their own children. Often, placing high hopes on a child, a woman is disappointed if her expectations are not met. This leads to discord in relationships. Oddly enough, but women suffering from narcissism choose a calm and caring man as a life partner. But they themselves do not show and do not feel respect for him. If both in the family suffer from narcissism, the relationship will not last long.
Why Narcissism Occurs
The causes of narcissism are varied. They can be anatomical, psychological, and also rooted in childhood.
- Anatomical causes of narcissism. Scientists examined magnetic resonance imaging of patients suffering from this disorder and revealed a thickening of the cortex and outer shell of the brain, as well as a modification of some nerve cells. As it turned out, such deviations are present in the part of the brain responsible for the feeling of empathy. Therefore, this is the cause of the disease of narcissism in some people.
psychological reasons. Caused by various circumstances, including genetics, upbringing, psychological factors. For example: excessive guardianship and idealization of the child by parents; susceptibility to surrounding opinion; inadequately formed system of values in adolescence; psychological trauma in childhood; mental illness and schizophrenia-like disorders.
Causes in childhood. The most common reason for the manifestation of narcissism from early childhood is the wrong upbringing. If permissiveness was present in the family, then it is quite understandable where this disorder arose. And also the cause of the disease could be a lack of parental attention and low self-esteem. In this case, narcissism is like a defense mechanism aimed at making up for the lack of approval and attention.
Diagnosing Narcissism
Diagnosis begins with a physical examination, through which it is possible to identify the pathologies that led to narcissism. If the disease is not detected during such an examination, then a psychological analysis is carried out as a further diagnosis, using a structured interview, questionnaires and tests.
With this type of diagnosis, the adequacy of the patient's behavior, his reaction to criticism, and the very attitude to the process of diagnosis is taken into account.
Since the patient himself is not aware of the presence of the disease, as a rule, close relatives turn to specialists for help. From their words, the doctor can get enough information with which to make a diagnosis.
Treatment of the narcissism syndrome
Narcissistic patients try to impress others by maintaining an image of perfection. Awareness of the disease can cause them to panic and destroy their illusions. Therefore, in the presence of a doctor, such a patient takes a defensive position and continues to demonstrate superiority. But an experienced doctor, taking into account the peculiarities of the symptoms of narcissism, treats the patient favorably.
In order to provide psychological assistance, the doctor demonstrates respect and even recognition for the patient, but does it in such a way that the patient does not exacerbate the pathological sense of ideality. At the same time, the doctor does not show weakness, so as not to disrupt the process of psychological therapy. It helps the patient regulate self-esteem through real limitations. Further, psychological techniques are worked out with the patient, which strengthen the fight against the disease.
Individual psychotherapy
The therapist recognizes the importance of narcissism in the psyche of the patient, refrains from criticism, but does not show sympathy for the patient, since this is useless and is not perceived by the patient.
In individual therapy, various psychological practices are used. The main task of a psychiatrist is to explain to the patient the principles of the formation of narcissism and to achieve acceptance by the patient of his disease. And since the source of the problems is deep in the subconscious, it takes enough time for the patient to become aware of the problem.
group therapy
The main task of this type of therapy is to enable the patient to develop a healthy individuality, learn to recognize the people around him as individuals, and form a sense of empathy for other group members.
Thanks to group therapy, it is possible to establish control over the behavior of the patient. His aggression is reduced and controllable. But at the same time, it is important to maintain a sense of dignity of the patient. After all, it is likely that at the first “exposing” of the disease, he will leave the group and again begin to seek outside support. Therefore, group therapy must be combined with individual therapy.
If the symptoms of narcissistic disorder are chronic and destroy the human personality, then hospitalization and inpatient treatment is possible. Otherwise, the syndrome of narcissism can turn into serious consequences (schizophrenia, suicide).
Prevention of Narcissistic Disorder
Since narcissism, as a rule, is formed from childhood under the influence of certain factors, this can be avoided if you contribute to the normal and full development of the individual:
- Build and maintain a sense of self-esteem in the child. Teach him not to be dependent on extraneous opinion;
- Do not forbid children to show emotions in the form of grief, sadness, tears;
- To be able to say "no" if necessary and not indulge all children's whims;
- Be generous with praise to the child when he really deserves it. But there is no need to brag about the successes of the child before others in his own presence;
- Give enough attention to the child;
- Raise a child in such a way that he understands that he is a part of society, and not society was created for him.
The first manifestations of narcissism are possible in childhood or adolescence. If, as they grow older, they do not go away, then you should seek help from a psychotherapist. A timely resolved problem will not interfere with a full life and normal interaction with society.
Narcissism as a psychological disease: symptoms, treatment
Narcissism is a mental disorder that is expressed in a person's inflated self-esteem, complacency and narcissism. Such a pathological love for one's own personality is expressed in close attention to one's own person, while a person cannot control his ambitions, strives for wealth and external attractiveness, infantilism is manifested in manners and actions.
A bit of history
The term "narcissism" comes from the name of the ancient Greek mythological hero Narcissus. The young man was incredibly handsome: the narcissistic hero rejected the love of the nymph Echo, for which he was punished. The ancient Greek gods sentenced Narcissus to lifelong admiration of his face through the reflection on the water surface.
According to Sigmund Freud, narcissism is a manifestation of specific intimate behavior. Many children in the early stages of life show a narcissistic feeling, admire themselves. At the same time, if the personality of the child develops harmoniously and correctly, and the parents participate in the full-fledged upbringing of the child, such narcissism does not bring any harm and disappears on its own as it grows older. In the process of creating the methodology of psychoanalysis, Freud finally introduced the concept of narcissism into psychiatric practice.
Narcissistic personality disorder and its causes
This mental disorder can have various causes. When examining the brains of patients, scientists found a thickening of the cortex and an altered structure of some nerve cells. Deviations affect the part of the brain that is responsible for the feeling of compassion.
According to experts, the feeling of empathy depends on the concentration of gray matter: in narcissists, its amount is significantly less than in healthy people.
Narcissism is a mental illness that occurs for the following reasons:
- Low self-esteem in childhood. At the same time, such features of behavior can be laid by the parents or the environment of a person, constant reproaches and censures provoke the emergence of protective mechanisms.
- The absence of parental restrictions in childhood, excessive praise and idealization of the child's personality by parents.
- Permissiveness, in which the child does not understand what he can do and what is forbidden to him.
Please note that certain features of narcissism often appear during puberty, but this does not mean that such a phenomenon will develop into a mental disorder.
Some theorists believe that narcissism is a pathology that is also hereditary. An important role is played by the presence of an idol in a teenager. In some cases, this phenomenon is associated with a more serious mental illness (for example, with schizophrenia), in which case the patient completely loses touch with reality, considers himself a messenger of a deity or another idol.
Signs of Narcissism
Below are the symptoms of this disease, on the basis of which the psychiatrist makes a diagnosis.
- An exaggerated sense of self-importance.
- Constantly emerging fantasies of overwhelming success and fame, incredible wealth.
- Conviction in one's own uniqueness, the desire to communicate with people only with a high social position.
- Demanding admiration and reverence from other people.
- Arrogant and ambitious (some narcissists make mean and cynical jokes about other people).
- Lack of empathy and compassion.
- Negative attitude towards criticism.
- Inflated self-esteem is just a mask for other people; deep down, such patients are weak personalities with many psychological complexes.
- Careful disguise of their own shortcomings.
- Using other people for your own benefit.
All people who suffer from this disease are trying to protect themselves from envious feelings towards others, so they are often not interested in the personal life and professional activities of their friends and acquaintances. A sick person often expresses uncertainty in his opinion: at first he perceives this or that person as an idol or idol, and then expresses contempt for her and considers this or that person unreasonable.
Narcissists are people who are addicted to praise, very often they do not react in any way, do not respond with gratitude when they hear compliments. In most cases, patients show no interest in generally accepted values (moral or aesthetic).
Narcissism in women and men: features and main differences
The psychology of narcissism in men is deep, and the reasons lie in children's upbringing. Moreover, this disease is most often found in the representatives of the stronger sex. Male patients are trying with all their might to achieve their own significance in the eyes of society. By all means they achieve career growth and a high financial position. When the desired goal is achieved, the patient's joy from the received lasts only a few minutes, after which their needs increase again, and they begin to want more.
Before reaching adulthood, growing goals and needs do not disturb the patient, he gradually realizes certain tasks and sees no reason to worry. Later, however, the narcissist begins to realize that he never achieved happiness. Men with such a diagnosis are not able to build full-fledged relationships with people, they destroy families, while the children of the narcissist also begin to suffer from the negative influence of their father.
As for female narcissism, it is expressed in the inability to understand your child, the inability to enjoy simple things and, as a result, in dissatisfaction with your own life. Patients force their children to study day and night, to receive only excellent grades, conflicts often occur against the background of the fact that the child did not live up to the expectations of his mother.
Personal inter-gender relationships also suffer from female narcissism: patients choose exclusively caring and attentive men as partners, but they themselves do not respect them, because they consider them to be weak-willed and incapable of anything. If in a couple both people have signs of narcissism, a relentless struggle of characters begins: these people will compete with each other in absolutely everything, while such a tense relationship is unlikely to last long.
Features of diagnostics
It is possible to determine such a pathology already during a personal conversation with the patient. The format of the conversation in the form of an interview is best suited for these purposes. Based on the results of the survey, points are given, on the basis of which the psychiatrist determines whether the patient has a serious personality disorder or a borderline condition, which is expressed in high self-esteem.
Among the questions are the following:
- Why do you think you deserve close attention and special treatment of your person?
- In your opinion, who might deserve your attention, and why exactly?
- What kind of people are you willing to sacrifice your free time for?
- Is it important for you to spend time exclusively with influential people with a high social position?
At the same time, it is important to distinguish narcissism from the usual inflated self-esteem, as well as from the symptoms of other diseases (for example, from schizophrenia).
Why is narcissism dangerous? If the correction of the individual's behavior is not started in a timely manner, the mental disorder may progress. As a result, the patient will be unable to maintain social ties and engage in professional activities, gradually moving away from social life, which leads to the development of other mental disorders. In some cases, aggression and psychosis appear, the patient ceases to control his behavior. Treatment in such situations is possible only in a hospital.
Disease testing
In modern psychiatry, there are several effective methods aimed at identifying narcissism. One of these methods includes a special questionnaire, which includes 163 questions of a different nature. When studying the answers to them, the specialist studies the so-called Likert scale.
The patient must express the degree of his approval or the degree of disagreement with a particular statement. As a result, the psychiatrist calculates the coefficient of narcissism. It is worth noting that this technique also has contraindications: for example, it cannot and is not advisable to use during a period of severe depression or acute psychosis.
How to treat narcissism?
Treatment of this mental disorder is ineffective at home. If signs of such a disease appear, it is necessary to contact a psychotherapist who will conduct the necessary diagnostics and prescribe an effective therapy that allows you to normalize self-esteem.
At the same time, doctors are not recommended to show weakness in the presence of the patient, since he can take advantage of the uncertainty of the specialist and exert his influence on the course of therapy, as well as pressure on the medical staff. At the same time, the psychiatrist must treat the patient with respect, so that the patient cannot constantly demonstrate a sense of self-importance.
The treatment of narcissism in men and women includes individual psychotherapeutic techniques. During psychotherapy, the specialist must refrain from excessive criticism of the patient, otherwise his self-esteem will be further violated. You should not show a feeling of pity and sympathy: such a person may simply not understand the compassion of a doctor.
It is worth noting that not all patients are aware of their problem, so the specialist needs to act very carefully and first identify exactly what signs this disease has (it is best to do this using the example of other narcissistic people).
Of no small importance is group psychotherapy, during which the patient develops a healthy and adequate personality (rather than pathological narcissism): regular group conversations with the right bias will allow the patient to get rid of inflated self-esteem, begin to correctly understand other people and consider them full-fledged personalities.
In some cases, therapy also includes medication. The patient may be prescribed psychotropic drugs to eliminate increased excitability and anxiety (if such symptoms are present). If the patient has depressive conditions associated with deep psychological complexes, a course of antidepressants is prescribed. All these drugs are prescribed only by the attending physician. If the treatment takes place in a hospital, there should be control of medical personnel over the intake of medications. Medicines are prescribed in strictly defined dosages, since they have many side effects.
Only in severe cases, therapy is carried out in stationary conditions. As his well-being improves, the patient can be treated on an outpatient basis, that is, at home with regular visits to a specialist for psychotherapy sessions. The exact duration of such sessions and their number are determined on an individual basis, depending on the specifics of the mental disorder. Often, it is not possible to completely get rid of the manifestations of narcissism and inflated self-esteem, however, with the help of complex therapy, it is possible to correct the patient’s judgments and personal characteristics, help him begin to fully communicate with other people, make family and friendships with a minimum of conflict situations.
Preventive measures
How to act so that the child grows up as a full-fledged personality with adequate self-esteem? The following preventive measures will help prevent the development of narcissism:
- During puberty, children are especially vulnerable, prone to excessive shyness and psychological complexes. In order for the growing personality to fully develop, it is important to maintain in the child a sense of dignity and independence from the opinions of others.
- Children often cry, expressing their dissatisfaction with something. Let the child do this, because that is how he will understand that not all needs can be met immediately. It is important to firmly refuse the child if he makes high demands and is capricious (of course, this does not apply to natural needs).
- It is better to confess your love to your child more often, while not focusing on his beauty. Otherwise, the person will develop an unpleasant feeling of vanity.
- It is normal to praise a child for really worthy things. However, too frequent and exaggerated praise is guaranteed to lead to further narcissism.
- You should not brag about the positive qualities and actions of a son or daughter in his presence, it is better to do this when he does not hear.
- You don't have to practice the good and bad parenting techniques. Such an imbalance will upset the child's value system, causing him to not distinguish between positive and negative actions.
- The child must understand that he will have to live in society, while society should not live for him.
Thus, narcissism is a personality disorder that is expressed in excessively inflated ambitions, a tendency to narcissism and a lack of compassion. In most cases, such a disease develops in childhood and adolescence, as a result of which an adult remains infantile and unable to maintain normal social ties. Treatment of such a mental disorder is carried out under the supervision of professional psychotherapists, treatment is provided both in inpatient and outpatient settings.
This violation of interaction with unconscious processes means a basic underdevelopment of the central human function of the inner self-delimitation, which is responsible for the formation of a truly autonomous self.
Due to the weak ability to distinguish between the imaginary and the real, the previously experienced affect from the momentary sense of time is practically absent, and the possibilities of realistic perception and regulation of one's own bodily processes are noticeably reduced.
Three different aspects inner self-delimitation
Network of interpersonal relationships, the matrix in which the life and development of the individual is carried out. Each person is in various groups (family group, work colleagues, political groups, groups pursuing common interests), under the influence of which he changes, and on the changes of which he himself influences.
In accordance with the understanding of dynamic psychiatry, the group and, above all, primary symbiotic family group, this is the place where, on the basis of psychodynamic and socio-energetic processes, unconscious programs that determine the subsequent direction of personality development- “towards oneself” (contributing to the achievement of Self-identity) or “away from oneself” (preventing the achievement of Self-identity) and, thereby, health or disease.
For psychotherapy of persons with archaic diseases "I" the group is the vehicle through which their non-constructive response dynamics are manifested. Unconsciously, the nature of the relationship in the patient's family as a whole and with its individual members, in particular, is transferred to the group, which, in turn, by reverse transfer reflects aspects of his family in a complex way. In the psychodynamic environment of the psychotherapeutic group, the patient's own psychodynamics become apparent and can be corrected under the guidance of a psychotherapist with special training in group dynamics. Thus, under the influence of psychotherapeutic repetition and emotional correction, catch-up development I- identity patient, which allows him to get out of the vicious circle forced recurrence of the symptoms of the disease.
Group dynamics is a process of spontaneously formed and changing relationships, understood not as a network of intersecting interactions, but as a group-dynamic field of social energy that takes place in all human groups. The diagnosis of group dynamics is important not only for psychotherapeutic and training groups, but also for cohabiting, co-learning and co-working groups, political groups, parties, etc.
HUMANE FUNCTIONS (FUNCTIONS I)
Functions located in the conscious or unconscious area of the personality that are interconnected. They can be either constructive or destructive or deficient.
To central (unconscious) humane functions relate aggression, fear, I-dissociation, narcissism, integration of I, creative power, bodily I, sexuality, ability to groups, regulation of frustration. Dynamics and quality ratio central human functions determines the degree of development I-identities individual.
To secondary (conscious) humane functions(or humane functions behavior) include: thinking, memory, intellect, affects, language, motor skills, the ability to dream, repression, rationalization, and other protective functions of the I.
For individually calculated therapy, you must first set individual diagnosis, covering both diseased (destructive and deficient) and healthy (constructive) aspects of the personality in the form of a “profile of the human structure” (the concept of human structure). Dynamic psychiatry proceeds from the fundamental variability of the human mental structure. At the same time, delivered at one moment the diagnosis or diagnostic description of a person is not statistical in nature, but is understood procedurally, i.e. changes during therapeutic development process.
Dynamic Psychiatry Berlin school, humanstructurology the famous German psychiatrist and psychotherapist G. Ammon, in contrast to the traditional "static" one taught in medical and psychological universities, proceeds from the fact that in the diagnosis of mental disorders, the basis of the psychodynamics of the subject provides the core of understanding his mental state and the corresponding possibilities of therapy in:
The concept of the Berlin School of Dynamic Psychiatry is aimed at psychiatrists and medical psychologists trained in the theory and practice of psychoanalysis (or familiar with psychoanalytic terminology).
In all her statements about health and illness, she is based on explicit (holistic) image of a person as internally free, capable of contact and developmentliving in groups and ethically and politically responsibility creatures (author's characteristic *).
Ammon's integrated psychodynamic and therapeutic concept in relation to mental illness is the result of ten years of therapeutic contact with sick people and does not represent the fruit of theorizing speculation from behind a desk.
Dynamic psychiatry is not focused exclusively on Europe, for its gaze is primarily focused on the inner core of a person, on group dynamics and on the social energy that exists in each group, i.e. elements that, despite all transcultural differences, are a common dignity.
An eclectic psychiatric concept originally developed in the United States, attempting to bring the concepts of psychoanalysis to the application of psychiatry. Main representatives: Karl Menninger, Franz Alexander, Herr Stack Sullivan, Frieda Fromm-Reichmann, Bruno Bettelheim, Martin Grotjan. Here the concept is used based on the definitions of Ammon
Therefore, when changing paradigms in psychiatry, we are talking about changing the approach to the person as such. " Dynamic psychiatry contrasts dogma of incomprehensibility therapeutic pessimism about mental illness understandability paradigm and therapeutic optimism .
The discussion about the heredity of constitutionality and vulnerability to our concept and our ideas of psychotherapy is irrelevant. Only those who believe in the possibility of a cure can heal, even if the concept of how one can heal, everything changes in the course of the development of science.” (This applies, of course, not only to the concept and therapy of psychoses, but also to other archaic diseases of the ego (see also Ethics).
First described by Ammon in 1971. structural-narcissistic deficit archaic sick person. Hole means boundary defect I, arising under the influence of a deviant primary group that does not respond to the needs of the child, which leads to splitting off entire areas of experience in the development of the child. This structural hole, depending on the group-dynamic constellation damaged preoedipal group, so to speak, is “replenished” by specific symptoms: psychosomatic illness, psychotic (schizophrenic or manic-depressive) symptoms, borderline symptoms, mania or destructive sexuality.
Health from the standpoint of dynamic psychiatry is understood not as a static well-being, but as a "dynamic and process-evolving event". To be healthy means to be capable of development. Health refers to the holistic process of homeostasis in the sense of current equilibrium body, spirit, soul and environment. From the point of view of the concept of the Self-structure of the personality, this means a constant process of integrating primary, central and secondary human functions with the ability to receive and give (social energy) in the groups in which a person lives and which he also forms. Health stands for multidimensionality and identity aimed at the personal higher goals of life. The transitions between healthy and diseased parts of the I, between health and disease, must be understood in the sense moving spectrum(archaic diseases I, spectral theory).
At the center of human understanding of human-structurology and the science that follows from it, the practice of treatment and prevention is identity concept.
From an energetic point of view identity can be understood as manifested social energy if this energy, in the process of exchange between individuals and individuals and the group, creates a structure. archaic diseases i always represent identity diseases and their therapy should, in order to change the structure, be identity therapy.
CONCEPT OF HUMANITY STRUCTURE
The Self Structure Test (ISTA) developed by Ammon and his collaborators and the POLO (Psychodynamically Oriented Personality Inventory) developed on its basis allows creating test psychological picture“an individual profile with corresponding constructive, destructive and deficient humane functions.
From this point of view disease understood as constraint in its development of the initially given multidimensionality person, his social contacts, creativity, goals, spiritual abilities and his experience of time.
Recognition of a person's multidimensional resource capabilities and needs has a therapeutic effect and, along with principles of androgyny, primarily constructive aggression and social energy, forms the basis principled therapeutic optimism of dynamic psychiatry.
In the concept of dynamic psychiatry narcissism is considered as one of the central I-functions, initially performing a constructive role, as process controller energy-information exchange between the separating self and society, as well as representing the original development potential individual, on the basis of which the formation of other intrapsychic formations takes place. So formation of narcissism regarded as necessary stage of personal development.
However, depending on unconscious group dynamics primary symbiosis (the key is the unconscious "behavioral programs" of the mother or the primary immediate environment, impritated and internalized by the child), narcissism can acquire destructive or deficient features, becoming maladaptive or blocking the developing "I" of the individual.
1. Constructive narcissism
Constructive narcissism means recognition of one's own worth, "a form of self-love", based on the positive experience of interpersonal relationships and assessments of a significant environment; approval and positive attitude towards various spheres of one's existence - both one's own body, bodily processes, experiences, feelings, thoughts, actions, and one's own spirituality. In other words, this is a holistic realistic acceptance of oneself, a positive idea of one's personality and a harmonious combination of various manifestations of "I for myself" and "I for others".
A person with constructive narcissism is characterized by adequately high self-esteem, self-esteem, high self-sufficiency, healthy ambition, openness, the ability to enjoy the fullness of life in its various manifestations and get a sense of joy from the growing possibilities of self-realization; the ability to sincerely forgive mistakes and blunders to yourself and others, drawing the necessary lessons and increasing your life experience; emotional and spiritual maturity.
2. Destructive narcissism
Destructive narcissism, as a pathological distortion of constructive narcissism, means a distortion or impairment of a person's ability to realistically perceive, feel and evaluate himself; instability of attitude towards oneself, manifested by fluctuations in ideas of one's own overestimation and underestimation with the impossibility of stabilizing attitude towards oneself due to the impossibility of objectifying it in the "mirror" of interpersonal interaction.
A destructive-narcissistic personality is characterized by an inadequate-contradictory assessment of oneself, one's actions, abilities and capabilities, low tolerance for frustrations (resistance to stress); distorted perception of others, extreme resentment, excessive caution, closeness, a tendency to constantly control one's own expression, and difficulties in communication, a feeling of inseparability and incomprehensibility by others of subjectively important experiences, feelings, interests and thoughts, a high need for public recognition.
3. Deficit Narcissism
A deficit-narcissistic personality is characterized by low self-esteem, a sense of insignificance, lack of confidence in oneself, one's abilities, strength and competence, lack of independence, pessimism, excessive identification with the norms, values, needs and goals of the immediate environment (conformity); selflessness, the inability to form and maintain one’s own goals and preferences, the inability to make genuine human contacts, to constructively interact with life with the inability to sufficiently feel its fullness, the narrowness and specificity of the circle of interests, the feeling of one’s own inferiority and uselessness, a constant need for narcissistic "nutrition" (support, help, presence nearby, etc.) with contentment only with the role of a passive recipient (receiver).
Three different aspects narcissism(constructive, destructive, deficient) can be qualitatively established and quantitatively measured using the appropriate scales of G. Ammon's I-structural test and the Psychodynamically Oriented Personality Questionnaire (POLO).
narcissism
Until now, this concept is perhaps the most vague in psychoanalytic psychology. The opinions of researchers differ both regarding the category, boundaries and status of the phenomenon denoted by this term, and regarding its nature, mechanisms of occurrence and specific forms of manifestation.
In the concept of dynamic psychiatry, narcissism is considered as one of the central self-functions, initially playing a constructive role, as a regulator of the processes of energy-information exchange between the separating self and society, and also representing the initial development potential of the individual, on the basis of which other intrapsychic formations are formed. Therefore, the formation of narcissism is seen as a necessary stage in personal development.
At the same time, depending on the unconscious group dynamics of the primary symbiosis (the key is the unconscious "behavioral programs" of the mother or the primary immediate environment, imitated and internalized by the child), narcissism can acquire destructive or deficient features, becoming maladaptive or blocking the developing "I" of the individual.
constructive narcissism
Constructive narcissism means:
- recognition of one's own value, "a form of self-love", based on the positive experience of interpersonal relationships and assessments of a significant environment;
- approval and positive attitude towards various spheres of one's existence - both one's own body, bodily processes, experiences, feelings, thoughts, actions, and one's own spirituality.
In other words, this is a holistic realistic acceptance of oneself, a positive idea of one's personality and a harmonious combination of various manifestations of "I for myself" and "I for others".
In behavior, constructive narcissism manifests itself:
- self-confidence, good emotional self-control, the ability to find intuitive solutions, act spontaneously, independently, take responsibility, resist the pressure of society, public opinion, unfriendly assessments and manipulative behavior, focus on one's own value system, a sense of one's own strength and competence, realistic self-perception and the realization of their own capabilities;
- tolerance for one's own weaknesses and shortcomings of others;
- a variety of interests and motives, a full-blooded bodily life;
- the ability to establish a variety of interpersonal contacts and maintain warm trusting relationships, while maintaining their own goals and preferences; the ability to love and be loved, while maintaining internal integrity, independence and autonomy;
- a painless experience of temporary loneliness, without experiencing feelings of longing or boredom;
A person with constructive narcissism is characterized by:
- adequately high self-esteem, self-esteem, high self-sufficiency, healthy ambition, openness, the ability to enjoy the fullness of life in its various manifestations and get a sense of joy from the growing possibilities of self-realization;
- the ability to sincerely forgive mistakes and mistakes to yourself and others, drawing the necessary lessons and increasing your life experience; emotional and spiritual maturity.
Destructive narcissism
Destructive narcissism, as a pathological distortion of constructive narcissism, means:
- distortion or impairment of a person's ability to realistically perceive, feel and evaluate himself;
- instability of attitude towards oneself, manifested by fluctuations in ideas of one's own overestimation and underestimation with the impossibility of stabilizing attitude towards oneself due to the impossibility of objectifying it in the "mirror" of interpersonal interaction.
The reason for the destructive pathology of the self-function of narcissism is the negative experience of early symbiotic experiences “woven” from insults, fears, rejections, disappointments, prohibitions, prejudices, prejudices and frustrations with feelings of circumvention and injustice caused by unconscious rejection (inconsistent, contradictory, devoid of tenderness and care). attitude) of the child by a mother (primary group) who is unable to provide the infant with adequate protection and build the correct boundaries of his Self for him.
In this regard, the child develops a distorted or contradictory perception of reality, dooming him to constant dependence on narcissistic support (“narcissistic nutrition”) from the outside and preventing (due to communication disorders or autism) from obtaining the social energy necessary for the development of I-identity.
In behavior, destructive narcissism manifests itself:
- an insatiable desire to be in the center of attention and receive confirmation of one's importance from others, combined with intolerance of criticism and avoidance of situations of a real external assessment of one's own personality;
- suspiciousness, a combination of facade (demonstrated) impeccability with excessive exactingness and intolerance to the shortcomings and weaknesses of others;
- lack of spontaneity, excessive alertness, restraint, pronounced inconsistency, instability, inability to open communication and close, trusting relationships;
- a pronounced tendency to manipulate others.
The destructive-narcissistic personality is characterized by:
- inadequate-contradictory assessment of oneself, one's actions, abilities and capabilities, low tolerance for frustrations (resistance to stress);
- distorted perception of others, extreme resentment, excessive caution, closeness, a tendency to constantly control one's own expression, and difficulties in communication, a feeling of inseparability and incomprehensibility by others of subjectively important experiences, feelings, interests and thoughts, a high need for public recognition.
With a significant degree of severity, destructive narcissism can manifest itself as autism (inability to make contacts and relationships), paranoid reactions; delusions, hallucinations or psychosomatic disorders.
scarce narcissism
Deficiency narcissism is a rudimentary (underdeveloped) state of constructive narcissism, as an inability to experience self-sufficiency and autonomy, form a holistic view of one's personality, evaluate oneself realistically, as well as attach importance to one's desires, goals, motives and actions, defend one's own interests and have independent views, opinions and points of view.
The cause of deficit narcissism is the cold, indifferent and indifferent atmosphere of early symbiotic relationships with outwardly formally flawless, oriented to social norms, physical care of the mother for the child, but with insufficient manifestation of maternal love, tenderness and proper human care.
This situation prevents the child from forming his own boundaries of the Self, separating himself from symbiosis with his mother, becoming a primary self-identity, and in the future almost fatally predetermines a deep “narcissistic hunger” (an unconscious need for a relationship of symbiotic fusion), the satisfaction of which is central to a person’s life. .
Deficiency narcissism manifests itself in behavior:
- pronounced dependence on others, passivity, compliance, difficulties in identifying one's own motives and desires, views and principles;
- the impossibility of establishing and maintaining "full-fledged" interpersonal contacts and relationships without prejudice to their interests, needs, life plans;
- the poverty of emotional experiences, the predominance of the general background of joylessness, emptiness, forgetfulness and boredom;
- intolerance of loneliness, expressed by an unconscious desire for a relationship of symbiotic fusion (to a warm, close relationship in which you can completely “dissolve” and hide from unbearable fears and problems of real life, personal responsibility and your own identity).
The deficit-narcissistic personality is characterized by:
- low self-esteem, a sense of insignificance, lack of confidence in oneself, one's capabilities, strength and competence, lack of independence, pessimism, excessive identification with the norms, values, needs and goals of the immediate environment (conformity);
- selflessness, the inability to form and maintain one’s own goals and preferences, the inability to have genuine human contacts, to constructively interact with life with the inability to sufficiently feel its fullness, the narrowness and specificity of the range of interests, the feeling of one’s inferiority and uselessness, the constant need for narcissistic “nutrition” (support, assistance, presence nearby, etc.) with contentment only with the role of a passive recipient (acceptor).
Three different aspects of narcissism (constructive, destructive, deficient) can be qualitatively established and quantitatively measured using the appropriate scales of G. Ammon's Self-structural test and the Psychodynamically Oriented Personality Questionnaire (POLO).
Description of the key of the Ammon test: constructiveness, destructiveness, deficiency
On this page, dear visitors of the psychoanalytic office of Oleg Matveev, you can read a brief description of the Ammon test: constructiveness, destructiveness and deficiency. and also use the key to the test
Ammon's I-structural test, Scales of methodology: constructiveness, destructiveness, deficiency
The following scales are presented in Ammon's I-structural test:
Constructive, destructive and deficient aggression, anxiety (fear), external and internal self-delimitation, narcissism and sexuality.
Constructive aggression
Persons showing high rates on the scale of constructive aggression are characterized by activity, initiative, openness, sociability, and creativity.
They are capable of constructively overcoming difficulties and interpersonal conflicts, sufficiently identify their own main goals and interests and fearlessly defend them in constructive interaction with others.
Their activity, even in confrontational situations, takes into account the interests of partners; therefore, they, as a rule, are able to reach compromise solutions without prejudice to personally significant goals, i.e. without compromising their own identity.
Destructive aggression
Persons who show high rates on this scale are characterized by hostility, conflict, aggressiveness.
As a rule, they are not able to maintain friendly relations for a long time, they are prone to confrontations for the sake of confrontation itself, they reveal excessive rigidity in discussions, in conflict situations they strive for the “symbolic” destruction of the enemy, they enjoy contemplating an insulted or humiliated “enemy”, they are distinguished by vindictiveness and vindictiveness and cruelty.
In behavior, destructive aggression is manifested by a tendency to destroy contacts and relationships, in destructive actions up to unexpected breakthroughs of violence, a tendency to verbal expression of anger and rage, destructive actions or fantasies, a desire for forceful problem solving, adherence to destructive ideologies, a tendency to devalue (emotional and mental) of other people and interpersonal relationships, vindictiveness, cynicism.
Deficiency Aggression
Persons showing high rates on the scale of deficient aggression are characterized by a passive life position, alienation of their own plans, interests and needs.
They tend to delay making decisions and are unable to make any significant effort to achieve their goals.
In interpersonal situations, as a rule, compliance, dependence and the desire to avoid any contradictions, situations of clashes of interests and needs are observed.
Constructive anxiety (fear)
Individuals with high scores on the scale of constructive anxiety are characterized by the ability to soberly assess the dangers of a real life situation, overcome their fear in order to realize vital tasks, goals and plans, and expand life experience.
As a rule, they are able to make reasonable, balanced decisions in extreme situations, they have sufficient tolerance for disturbing experiences, which allows them to maintain integrity even in difficult situations that require a responsible choice, i.e. identity confirmation.
Anxiety in these people contributes to increased productivity and overall performance.
Destructive anxiety (fear)
Individuals with high scores on the scale of destructive fear are characterized by increased anxiety, a tendency to worry and unrest even for the most insignificant reasons, difficulties in organizing their own activity, a frequent feeling of lack of control over the situation, indecision, timidity, shyness, spontaneousness, and the severity of vegetative stigmas of anxiety ( sweating, dizziness, palpitations, etc.).
As a rule, they experience serious difficulties in self-realization, expanding their often limited life experience, feel helpless in situations that require mobilization and identity confirmation, are overwhelmed with all sorts of fears about their future, and are not able to truly trust either themselves or the people around them.
Scarcity fear (anxiety)
Individuals with high scores on the scale of deficient fear are characterized by the absence of an anxiety reaction in both unusual and potentially dangerous situations, a tendency to take risky actions, ignoring the assessment of their likely consequences, a tendency to emotionally devalue important events, objects and relationships, for example, situations of parting with significant others, loss of loved ones, etc.
Constructive external self-delimitation
High scores on the scale of constructive external self-delimitation reflect openness, sociability, sociability, good integration of internal experience associated with interpersonal activity, sufficient ability to set one's own goals and objectives, usually consistent with the requirements of others, good emotional contact with external reality, maturity emotional experiences, the possibility of rational distribution of one's time and efforts, the choice of an adequate strategy of behavior in accordance with the changing current situation and one's own life plans.
Destructive outer self-delimitation
Persons with high scores on this scale are characterized by severe emotional distancing, inability to flexibly regulate interpersonal relationships, affective stiffness and closeness, emotional introversion, indifference to the difficulties, problems and needs of other people, focus on overcontrol of expressiveness, lack of initiative, uncertainty in situations requiring skills interpersonal communication, inability to accept help, passive life position.
Deficient outer self-delimitation
High scores on this scale are characteristic of people who are obedient, dependent, conforming, dependent, seeking constant support and approval, protection and recognition, usually rigidly oriented towards group norms and values, identifying themselves with group interests and needs, and therefore unable to form their own, different point of view.
These people are prone to symbiotic fusion, rather than equal mature partnerships, and in this regard, they, as a rule, experience significant difficulties in maintaining sustainable productive and, especially, in situations where interruption of contacts is necessary.
Typical for them is the feeling of their own weakness, openness, helplessness and insecurity.
Constructive inner self-delimitation
Persons with high scores on this scale are characterized by a good ability to distinguish between external and internal, differentiation of perception of internal experiences, bodily sensations and their own activity, the ability to flexibly use the possibilities of sensory and emotional comprehension of reality, as well as intuitive decisions without losing control over reality, good controllability of bodily states, the generally positive nature of inner experience, the ability for sufficient mental concentration, a high overall orderliness of mental activity.
Destructive inner self-delimitation
Persons with high scores on this scale give the impression of formal, dry, overly businesslike, rational, pedantic, insensitive.
They dream little and almost do not fantasize, do not strive for warm partnerships, are not capable of deep empathy.
The inability to adequately perceive one's own feelings and needs makes these people insensitive to the emotions and needs of others; in the limit, the real world of the surrounding living people can be replaced by a set of their own projections.
In intellectual activity, they tend to systematize and classify.
In general, an overly rationalized consciousness is complemented by an overly irrationalized unconscious, which often manifests itself in inappropriate actions and deeds, accidents, and accidental injuries.
Deficient inner self-delimitation
Persons with high scores on the scale of deficient internal delimitation are characterized by impulsiveness, weakness of emotional control, a tendency to exalted states, insufficient balance of actions and decisions, “overflow” with disparate, diverse feelings, images or thoughts, extreme inconsistency in interpersonal relationships, inability to adequately concentration of efforts, poor regulation of bodily processes.
Very high scores on this scale may indicate a pre-psychotic or psychotic state.
In behavior then, inadequacy, disorganization and disintegration, often perceived as pretentiousness and absurdity, come to the fore.
constructive narcissism
Individuals with high scores on this scale are characterized by high self-esteem, self-esteem, healthy ambition, realism in the perception of themselves and others, openness in interpersonal contacts, a variety of interests and motivations, the ability to enjoy life in its various manifestations, emotional and spiritual maturity, the ability to to resist the unfavorable development of events, unfriendly assessments and actions of others without prejudice to oneself and the need to use protective forms that seriously distort reality.
Destructive narcissism
High scores on this scale reflect the pronounced inconsistency of self-esteem, inconsistency of its individual components, instability of attitude towards oneself, difficulties in interpersonal contacts, extreme touchiness, excessive caution, closeness in communication, a tendency to constantly control one's own expression, restraint, spontaneousness, "super insight" up to suspicion.
Facade impeccability is often accompanied by excessive demands and intransigence to the shortcomings and weaknesses of others; a high need to be in the center of attention, to receive recognition from others, is combined with intolerance to criticism and a tendency to avoid situations in which a real external assessment of one's own properties can occur, and the inferiority of interpersonal communication is compensated by a pronounced tendency to manipulate.
scarce narcissism
High marks on this scale characterize people who are unsure of themselves, their capabilities, strength and competence, hiding from life, passive, pessimistic, dependent, overly conforming, incapable of genuine human contacts, striving for symbiotic fusion, feeling their uselessness and inferiority, constantly needing in narcissistic "nutrition" and incapable of constructive interaction with life and always content only with the role of passive recipients.
Constructive sexuality
High rates on this scale are typical for sensitive, mature people who are able to establish close partnerships, who understand their own needs and feel the needs of another, who are able to communicate and realize their own sexual desires without exploitation and impersonal manipulation of others, who are capable of a mutually enriching exchange of sensory experiences and sensory experience. , not fixed on any clichéd ways of sexual behavior; as a rule, they have a fairly developed sexual repertoire with a variety and differentiation of erotic components, which, however, are well integrated and reflect the integral, natural activity of the individual.
Destructive sexuality
High rates on the scale of destructive sexuality are characteristic of persons incapable of spiritually filled, emotionally rich sexual experiences; avoiding emotional intimacy, trust and warmth.
The place of true interest in a sexual partner is usually occupied by some particular exciting element, for example, novelty, unusualness, features of secondary sexual characteristics, etc.
Destructive sexuality can manifest itself in various forms of aggressive behavior: from scandalousness to open manifestations of physical violence and / or a tendency to self-destruction.
Sexual excess is rarely experienced by them as genuine here and now.
Deficient sexuality
Persons with high scores on the scale of deficient sexuality are characterized by low sexual activity, the desire to avoid sexual contacts up to their complete rejection, and the tendency to replace real sexual relations with fantasies.
Such people are not able to experience joy from their own body, communicate their desires and needs to others, and are easily obscured in situations that require sexual identification.
Sexual desires and claims of others are perceived by them as threatening their own identity.
They are characterized by insufficient emotional fullness even of significant interpersonal relationships.
The lack of sexual experience usually leads to a "too serious" attitude to life, a poor understanding of people as well as life in general.
Key to Ammon's Self-Structural Test
1; 8; 26; 30; 51; 74; 112; 126; 157; 173; 184; 195; 210.
2; 4; 6; 63; 92; 97; 104; 118; 132; 145; 168; 175; 180; 203.
25; 28; 39; 61; 66; 72; 100; 102; 150; 153; 161; 215.
11; 35; 50; 94; 127; 136; 143; 160; 171; 191; 213; 220.
32; 47; 54; 59; 91; 109; 128; 163; 178; 179; 188.
69; 75; 76; 108; 116; 131; 149; 155; 170; 177; 181; 196; 207; 219.
23; 36; 58; 89; 90; 95; 99; 137; 138; 140; 176.
3; 14; 37; 38; 46; 82; 88; 148; 154; 158; 209.
7; 17; 57; 71; 84; 86; 120; 123; 164; 166; 218.
5; 13; 21; 29; 42; 98; 107; 130; 147; 167; 192; 201.
10; 16; 55; 80; 117; 169; 185; 187; 193; 200; 202; 208.
12; 41; 45; 49; 52; 56; 77; 119; 122; 125; 172; 190; 211.
18; 34; 44; 73; 85; 96; 106; 115; 141; 183; 189; 198.
19; 31; 53; 68; 87; 113; 162; 174; 199; 204; 206; 214.
9; 24; 27; 64; 79; 101; 103; 111; 124; 134; !46; 156; 216.
15; 33; 40; 43; 48; 65; 78; 83; 105; 133; 139; 151; 217.
20; 22; 62; 67; 70; 93; 110; 129; 142; 159; 186; 194; 197.
60; 81; 114; 121; 135; 144; 152; 165; 182; 205; 212.
To solve personality disorders determined by the Ammon test, you can use the services of a psychoanalyst via Skype, ICQ and telephone
In the psychodiagnostics and testing section you will find other useful tests for children and adults.
All psychological material is in the CONTENTS:
Narcissism: types
In behavior, deficient narcissism is manifested by a pronounced dependence on others, passivity, compliance, difficulties in identifying one's own motives and desires, views and principles; the impossibility of establishing and maintaining "full-fledged" interpersonal contacts and relationships without prejudice to their interests, needs, life plans; the poverty of emotional experiences, the predominance of the general background of joylessness, emptiness, forgetfulness and boredom; intolerance of loneliness, expressed by an unconscious desire for a relationship of symbiotic fusion (to a warm, close relationship in which you can completely “dissolve” and hide from unbearable fears and problems of real life, personal responsibility and your own identity).
A deficit-narcissistic personality is characterized by low self-esteem, a sense of insignificance, lack of confidence in oneself, one's abilities, strength and competence, lack of independence, pessimism, excessive identification with the norms, values, needs and goals of the immediate environment (conformity); selflessness, the inability to form and maintain one’s own goals and preferences, the inability to have genuine human contacts, to constructively interact with life with the inability to sufficiently feel its fullness, the narrowness and specificity of the circle of interests, the feeling of one’s inferiority and uselessness, the constant need for narcissistic “nutrition” (support, help, presence nearby, etc.) with contentment only with the role of a passive recipient.
The reason for the destructive pathology of the self-function of narcissism is the negative experience of early symbiotic experiences “woven” from insults, fears, rejections, disappointments, prohibitions, prejudices, prejudices and frustrations with feelings of circumvention and injustice caused by unconscious rejection (inconsistent, contradictory, devoid of tenderness and care). attitude) of the child by the mother (primary group), unable to provide the infant with adequate protection and build the correct boundaries of his Self for him. In this regard, the child develops a distorted or contradictory perception of reality, dooming him to constant dependence on narcissistic support (“narcissistic nutrition”) from the outside and hindering (due to communication disorders or autism) the acquisition of the social energy necessary for the development of self-identity.
In behavior, destructive narcissism is manifested by an insatiable desire to be in the center of attention and receive confirmation of one's importance from others, combined with intolerance of criticism and avoidance of situations of a real external assessment of one's own personality; suspiciousness, a combination of facade (demonstrated) impeccability with excessive exactingness and intolerance to the shortcomings and weaknesses of others; lack of spontaneity, excessive alertness, restraint, pronounced inconsistency, instability, inability to open communication and close, trusting relationships; a pronounced tendency to manipulate others.
With a significant degree of severity, destructive narcissism can manifest itself as pronounced autistic functioning (inability to make contacts and relationships); paranoid reactions; overvalued ideas, psychosomatic disorders.
What is narcissism and how does it affect a person's character?
Narcissism is a character trait that consists in excessive narcissism, unreasonably high self-esteem. This term was first used by the English scientist H. Ellis, who described one of the forms of defective behavior, correlated with the famous ancient Greek legend about Narcissus, who was cursed and died because of unrequited love for his own reflection. Later, this phenomenon was considered by Sigmund Freud in the framework of the theory of psychoanalysis, which claimed that the narcissistic syndrome manifests itself in one way or another in any person, in particular, in sexual behavior. In his opinion, in childhood, narcissism is an integral character trait that does no harm, provided that the child develops correctly and harmoniously.
The French researcher Marie-France Yrigoyen described in her works the essence of the so-called perverse narcissism, which consists in a certain perverted attitude of a person towards himself and others, considered by him exclusively as objects for use. To put it another way, the perverted narcissist is a perversely narcissistic person who oscillates between extremes from self-adoration to contempt. In fact, when perverse narcissism is mentioned, we are talking about a malignant form of the disorder.
Modern psychology considers narcissism as a mental illness that leads to a violation of a person's self-identification. The self-esteem of a person with such a disorder is entirely dependent on the opinions of others, which leads to a clear demonstrative behavior. Afraid of facing criticism, narcissists try to demonstrate their own abilities in the best possible way. This is the positive aspects of the narcissistic temperament - the constant striving for the ideal allows you to implement really grandiose plans, the feeling of envy motivates you to further vigorous activity, and dependence on the opinions of other people makes excellent listeners out of narcissists. However, pathological narcissism can significantly complicate life, both for the person himself and for his environment, since they distinguish special destructive forms of the disorder that lead to unpleasant consequences. Only qualified treatment will help to avoid them.
And although within the framework of modern psychoanalysis the concept of "narcissism" remains one of the most vague, experts distinguish several of its types. Thus, the constructive form of narcissism is a kind of self-love and a positive attitude towards various areas of life with an adequately high self-esteem. In behavior, this is manifested by self-confidence, self-control, the ability to quickly find solutions in difficult situations and resist pressure from others.
A certain underdeveloped form of constructive narcissism is the so-called deficit narcissism, characterized by the inability of the individual to feel self-sufficient and form an adequate and holistic view of his own personality. Such people usually have a strong dependence on the opinions of others, are distinguished by pliability and passivity.
Destructive narcissism is a violation of a person's ability to adequately and realistically evaluate himself. Such people pathologically need constant attention and confirmation of their own importance, while they are distinguished by their inability to trust, close relationships. Speaking of the aforementioned perverted narcissism, it is worth noting that it is also destructive. To a large extent, this disorder can manifest itself in autism, delusions, paranoid reactions, as well as psychosomatic disorders. In such cases, experts speak of malignant narcissism.
Predisposing factors
It is often quite difficult to determine the causes of narcissism, however, experts still distinguish several groups of factors predisposing to this disorder. Most scientists agree that the formation of perverse narcissism, as well as other forms of the disease, lies in the characteristics of education in early childhood. Psychologists view narcissism as an egocentric behavior often caused by an inferiority complex. Low self-esteem in childhood can be the result of inadequate upbringing, for example, with permissiveness or, conversely, excessive severity. In addition, a narcissistic disorder can form in children who do not receive the approval of their parents, their support, or, on the contrary, receive praise too often and for no reason, being a kind of object of worship in the family.
Psychologists also consider other factors that contribute to the development of narcissism. So, heredity plays a certain role here, especially temperament, the level of stress resistance. Quite often, narcissism occurs in adolescents, although in puberty it is not always harmful and smoothes out as they grow older.
Perverse narcissism can be a symptom of some kind of mental illness. So, manifestations of this disorder were observed in patients with schizophrenia. At the same time, patients completely lost touch with reality and considered themselves god-like beings.
Peculiarities
The signs of narcissism are very diverse. You can talk about the presence of a mental disorder when the following symptoms occur (at least five of them):
- a tendency to fantasize about great success, fame, money, attention of the opposite sex. Moreover, such fantasies often have nothing to do with reality;
- the need for constant attention and approval from others;
- exaggeration of one's own merits, knowledge, skills and significance in general;
- unshakable confidence in their uniqueness, unique talents, genius, which, as a rule, remains unrecognized;
- envy;
- propensity to use other people for selfish purposes;
- demonstrative behavior in order to show one's own superiority;
- a tendency to increase one's own rights, neglecting duties;
- unwillingness to understand the feelings of others, even the closest people, lack of ability to empathize;
- a tendency to hide their own shortcomings and focus on others;
- any criticism causes an angry reaction or is simply ignored.
Manifestations in men and women
Male narcissism manifests itself mainly in attempts to achieve a certain significance in their own eyes and in the eyes of those around them. Trying to satisfy his ambitions, a male narcissist can achieve stunning success in his career, but this success is quickly replaced by spiritual emptiness. Up to about thirty-five - forty years, ever-increasing aspirations do not cause concern, as new goals and tasks constantly appear that require implementation. However, with age, men with a similar warehouse of character begin to feel more and more unhappy. In addition, with this mental disorder, difficulties arise in establishing relationships with others, including members of one's own family. With perverse narcissism, manifestations of aggression towards others are possible - such men are often called domestic tyrants.
Female narcissism also often manifests itself in ambition. Often there are difficulties in communicating with their own children, associated with excessive demands and disappointment when the child does not live up to expectations. Interestingly, female narcissists often choose calm, caring men as a life partner, but at the same time they do not have any respect for them. An even more difficult situation arises when both spouses have a narcissistic temperament. In this case, there is a constant struggle between them, including in causticity and criticism towards each other. Naturally, such relationships almost never last long.
Diagnostics
Diagnosis of perverse narcissism and its other forms begins with a physical examination of the patient, which makes it possible to identify possible pathologies that led to a personality disorder. If diseases are not detected, a structured interview is of key importance in diagnosing, during which a psychiatrist or psychologist analyzes the responses and behavior of the patient, drawing appropriate conclusions and identifying the characteristic signs of a mental disorder. As a rule, frank narcissism is quite easy to identify, since patients have pronounced disharmony in almost all areas of life, and its denial by the patients themselves becomes another typical sign. Also, when making a diagnosis, an inadequate, sharp reaction to criticism is taken into account. The signs of pathology are also determined through specially designed psychological tests and questionnaires.
When examining patients with perverse narcissism, it is necessary to differentiate the disease from asocial, borderline and hysterical disorders. Since the patient himself is not aware of the morbidity of his condition, his close relatives usually turn to the doctor for help, from whom the specialist can also obtain a lot of information of diagnostic value.
Fighting methods
When choosing treatment tactics, each clinical case is considered by the doctor individually. Since this type of mental disorder is chronic, therapy can be difficult. As a rule, competent psychological assistance is of key importance in working with such patients. Since patients themselves rarely voluntarily agree to treatment, it is extremely important for a specialist to find the right approach to the patient. Quite often, doctors use tactics in which they initially show a favorable and respectful attitude towards the patient.
Good results in the fight against perverse narcissism are shown by treatment with the help of psychotherapy. Classes are held in individual and group form. Explanatory conversations are conducted with patients, helping to realize the painfulness of their own condition, accept it and find constructive solutions in order to learn how to regulate their own self-esteem. It is very important that the psychotherapist is able to correctly reveal the essence of the disease, otherwise the patient may simply refuse treatment, fearing to lose self-esteem due to "mental exposure".
The use of drug therapy is possible in the presence of a depressive disorder, panic attacks, phobias and other mental disorders. In such situations, the doctor usually prescribes tranquilizers, antidepressants, and a number of herbal remedies. It is worth considering that drugs do not treat the narcissism syndrome itself, but only eliminate its clinical manifestations.
Prevention measures
Since narcissism is formed under the influence of certain factors, it can be avoided if you contribute to the development of a normal personality type in childhood:
- it is necessary to maintain in the child a sense of self-respect and independence from the opinions of strangers;
- children should not be prohibited from crying to express resentment or grief;
- if necessary, parents should be able to say a firm “no” to the child, without indulging whims;
- no need to skimp on praise when the child really deserves it, at the same time, psychologists do not recommend showing off the achievements of the child in his own presence;
- the child should not become an unwitting witness to family quarrels;
- upbringing should be built in such a way that the child understands that he lives in society, and that society does not function exclusively for him.
As already mentioned, some manifestations of narcissism are often characteristic of children and adolescents. It is necessary to consult a doctor if, as they grow older, they do not smooth out, but only intensify, making it difficult to interact normally in society.
