concept inner child is widely used in psychotherapy, in its various directions - gestalt therapy, transactional analysis and others. It seems that it is very simple, but in fact it is not always immediately clear who it is and what it is about, and why it needs to be given attention. Clarifying questions from clients about this prompted me to write an article and helped structure my thoughts on this topic.

The Inner Child (IR) is a part of the human psyche, which contains the experience (in the broadest sense of the word), received in childhood and in the prenatal (intrauterine) period. This experience includes emotions and feelings, bodily experiences (for example, the child was frightened - everything in his stomach tightened with fear), behavior and images (visual, auditory, olfactory), needs and motivation. It does not disappear anywhere, but continues to "live" in the psyche of an adult and influence his emotional state today. It is not felt at any moment of time, but periodically each person comes into contact with this experience of his, comes into contact with the feelings of his Inner Child.

We all have a happy Inner Child who feels good, loved, secure, having fun, spontaneous and creative. And there is the unfortunate, traumatized Inner Child who is abandoned or offended and needs comfort, care and protection. Much of the psychotherapeutic work goes into finding the unhappy Inner Child (the specific situations in which it has suffered) and dealing in some healing way with the experience it has. In general, in many ways, psychotherapy is a healing treatment that could be received in childhood or in adulthood.

In my opinion, it is possible to say that we meet with manifestations of the Inner Child in those cases when the roots of the emotions and feelings that have arisen lie in childhood: an old childhood feeling, need, interest or desire comes to life and becomes either dominant and determines the emotional state of a person , or joins the experience of an adult and enhances it. For example, in itself it causes difficult experiences, but the previously experienced childhood experience of rejection, abandonment, loneliness can also be connected to them. Or, let's suppose that the boss in the correct form makes a critical remark to his subordinate, and the subordinate rises a wave of aggression - most likely these are also echoes of some previous experience, possibly childhood. And this happens often: the Inner Child almost always participates in the emotional life of an adult - his feelings can resonate with the feelings of an adult, thereby strengthening them, or they can completely dominate the emotional reaction to any situation. Whenever the emotional reaction to a situation is more intense than it deserves, it means that the person's previous experience is "rising".

Why do children's experiences "come to life" in an adult? Because he is faced with situations that remind him of some situations from childhood - and the person, as it were, remembers the feelings associated with them.

Someone may disagree with all of the above and decide that in fact there is no Inner Child. The man has grown up and that's it, his little one is no more. But in reality this is not so. In every adult, his childish part continues to live, and its experiences continue to be relevant today. The unsatisfied children's need for love is highly likely to be in both an adult and. And how he relates to this part depends on his ability to be happy.

One of the proofs of the existence of this childish part is such a phenomenon as regression. Regression is a transition from the state of I-today, I-adult to an earlier state of the psyche. So, for example, an adult woman, after talking with an unkind saleswoman, may feel like a little helpless girl. This means that for some time the feelings associated with the hurtful childhood experience “rose up”. This phenomenon was reflected in the speech: “he was offended like a child”, “she behaves like a child”, “rejoices like a child”, “I feel like a lost child”, “I feel like a naughty child who is afraid of punishment”.

A happy Inner Child gives a feeling of good mood, curiosity, playfulness, spontaneity, and problems with its acceptance are not very common - everyone loves such good, problem-free boys and girls. But the attitude towards your unfortunate Inner Child is often negative. A person can say to his suffering part: “Stop whining! I am tired of you! Get up and get busy!" or, for example, a person can scold his aggressive childish part, try to suppress it. And then it turns out suffering in the square: The Inner Child is so bad, so he is also scolded for these feelings. The attitude of an adult to his Inner Child is always a copy of the real relationship that the child had in childhood. We treat ourselves the same way as we were treated by significant adults in our childhood.

When working with a client, a psychologist encounters such a phenomenon (a negative attitude towards his suffering Inner Child), then he faces two tasks: 1) Create conditions so that a person can relate to his Inner Child with a sense of compassion and 2) Create conditions in order for a person to be able to support the Inner Child and help him survive those negative feelings that he experiences.

What kind of negative feelings can these be and how exactly can you help the Inner Child? Most often it is fear (generated, for example, by situations of violence - emotional or physical), pain of loneliness and aggression. There are tools in psychodrama that allow an adult to return to a traumatic situation and help a child, giving him what he needs so much - a resource for coping. Thus, the Inner Child gets a different experience, a positive experience - acceptance, protection, understanding. We cannot cancel the traumatic event itself (otherwise there would be no psychological truth in this), but we can console or protect the child after it, help to survive the event in other circumstances.

Let me give you a general example. Group psychotherapy, a woman describes the situation: after a quarrel, her husband refused to go to the cinema, and she was seized by very strong, hard to bear feelings of pain, resentment, anger. Request: "I would like to understand why this hurt so much and learn how to deal with these feelings." The scene of a conversation with her husband is played psychodramatically, and after he (or rather the person playing his role) refuses to go to the cinema and leaves the room, the woman clenches her fists and cries. To the psychologist’s question: “How old are you now?”, He answers: “Five”. This is a regression - a client emotionally at the age of five. Continuing the questioning, the psychologist finds out what happened: the mother and the girl (client) were going to go for a long-awaited walk, the girl did not want to wear the dress that the mother offered, and the mother with the words: leaves the room, leaving the child alone. The girl is very hurt, she is angry and at the same time feels guilty. Further, the work continues with this childish situation: it is recreated psychodramatically, and the client in the role of the Fairy Sorceress comes to the girl, comforts her, “sticks out” her mother’s manipulation and helps to react to aggression. Perhaps there have been many such situations in the client's life, and working with one of them does not mean that she will never encounter such feelings again. But some of these feelings are reacted and lived, and there is also an understanding of where they come from and how to react to them next time. For example, tell your Inner Girl: “I see how hurt you are, and I understand why. Still, it's so unfair! I'm with you, I love you!"

Accordingly, you can help your Inner Child not only by “returning” to a traumatic situation. If you don’t remember this situation, but you feel that you somehow feel unwell, and it looks like some kind of early, childhood experience, then you can talk with the Inner Child today.

How to do it?

1. Listen to your feelings, name them.

2. Try to determine how old you feel when you first had this experience.

3. Imagine an image of your Inner Child experiencing these feelings - how old is he, how he looks, what he is wearing, where he is.

4. Contact him. Is he scared, lonely, hurt? The healing response from the adult part, the Inner Parent, is one - “I am with you and will always be by your side, I love you, you are safe with me.”

5. Mentally put yourself in the place of the Inner Child and listen to the appeal of the Inner Parent. If you want to answer something, do it and mentally switch roles again.

Psychologist and poetess Elena Ambarnova wrote a wonderful meditation poem addressed to the Inner Child, this poem is a model of a positive attitude towards childhood experiences: ““.

In order to enhance the effect of addressing your childish part, you can, while talking to her, hug yourself by the shoulders or hug a pillow / toy. Try for a week before going to bed for at least 15 minutes affectionately talking with your little girl or little boy - and your soul will become calmer and warmer. In general, practicing such meditation is useful not only for a week, but every day for the rest of your life.

Here are a few books on psychology that you might be interested in if you want to learn more about the Inner Child and your relationship with it:
1. Geof Graham "How to become a parent to yourself."
2. B. and J. Weinhold, Breaking Free from Codependency.
3. Stefan Volinsky: "The Dark Side of the Inner Child: The Next Step."
4. John Bradshaw: Depression and Emptiness: The Wounded Child Questionnaire.

Best wishes, .

Inner child: how to work with him

Content

1. Comes from childhood
2. Happy or unhappy?
3. A little about internal parents
4. Two sides of the same coin
5. How to achieve harmony with yourself?
6. Don't be afraid to connect with your inner child!

Comes from childhood

The first experience a person receives in the prenatal period. Scientists have proved that the well-being of the expectant mother, her mood are the first "bricks" from which the child's psyche is built. Every day after his birth, he brings images, needs, behavioral attitudes into his life “piggy bank”. This part of the psyche, which psychologists call the inner child, does not disappear anywhere: until a certain time, it may not manifest itself in any way.

From time to time, each person faces his own life experience. Those who have established contact with the inner child, who know how to work with him, live easier, achieve more, are less prone to depressive states. But, alas, not many succeed.

Happy or unhappy?

The inner child is a multifaceted concept that combines the potential of the individual, his vitality, balance. It is this part of the soul that forms creative natures, helps to overcome life's obstacles, and is responsible for a sincere, positive attitude towards the world. It is important for a child to be accepted, understood, not compared with someone else and satisfy his needs - this is where the path of the Personality to self-knowledge begins.

Criticism is a bad help in the educational process. It is justified only if it is supported by arguments, and is not limited to the abstract “you are wrong” and “this is not right”. The child must understand why this is good, and that is bad, to see the roots of his actions and their possible consequences. Constant baseless criticism contributes to the formation of a negative image, which many try to renounce even in childhood. A person artificially creates a false "I", ceases to hear himself. How to talk to the inner child if the connection with the present self is completely lost?

A little about inner parenting

And they live in us too! Many phrases the child perceives as powerful statements that form a model of behavior in the future. Often, inner parents only serve as critics. This manifests itself in invisible dialogues with oneself, when in response to attempts to justify oneself, to praise, to regret, the phrases familiar from childhood are knocked out like a hammer: “You are doing everything wrong”, “You are not succeeding”. Inner parents and children who have realized themselves in a new status become enemies and, as a result, stop communicating. This often carries over into real life.

Two sides of the same coin

In each of us lives a happy inner child who is surrounded by love, feels safe, experiences creative impulses, sincerely admires the world around him. But there is also a traumatized inner child who lacks protection, comfort, approval.

Negativity, framed by self-doubt, often becomes a decisive factor in choosing a profession or life partner. People who are "leading" unhappy children rarely achieve success in school and work. Further - a vicious circle: failures exacerbate problems, and those confirm the status of a loser ...

A simple example. The head of the company receives a calm, correct remark to his subordinates. One employee calmly agrees and takes note of what has been said. In another person, it causes a wave of aggression. Everyone took out of his life "baggage" what was there ...

How to achieve harmony with yourself?

Many are sure that a person is the blacksmith of his own happiness, you need to boldly move forward, leaving memories in the past. But life shows: the “forced” closing of the doors to childhood only exacerbates the problems. It helps for a while, but sooner or later, echoes from the past will remind you of themselves.

How to work with the inner unhappy child? Is it possible to stop the mechanism of self-destruction and "program" yourself for success? First you need to try to talk to yourself in a calm state. Sit in your favorite chair, take a break from everyday affairs and imagine the inner child living in you. And now "chat" with him:

1. Listen to his feelings and describe them.
2. Try to remember the "age" of the experiences.
3. Try to see what the child looks like, where he is, who surrounds him.
4. How does he respond to questions? Is he lonely and scared? Find words of comfort.
5. Tell him how you feel, offer to help.
6. How does the child behave around the inner parent?

Don't be afraid to connect with your inner child!

And best of all - in front of a mirror. Talk to your inner child regularly. Let him talk about his experiences, cry out: over the years, the emotional “piggy bank” has become heavier and does not allow him to confidently move on.

Arrange a holiday for the "baby", supplement it with balloons, goodies. Do not skimp on the words that you yourself dreamed of hearing as a child. Every day tell your inner child that he is the most beautiful, kind, beloved. How to quickly expect changes in life? Not before you become best friends with your inner child...

The concept of the Inner Child has been part of world culture for at least two thousand years. K. Jung called him "Divine Child", and E. Fox - "miracle child". Psychotherapists Alice Miller and Donald Winnicott referred to him as the "Real Self". Rockell Lerner and other chemical addiction researchers have referred to him as a "child at heart". The Inner Child is that part of our psyche that is eternally full of life and strength, creative impulses and pleasure. This is our Real Self - who we really are.

As you age, many of you have to "forget yourself (or part of yourself) in your backyard" to survive. You move away from your Real Self, although it often remains very close, in the backyard - but still not under the roof of the house. Do you feel like something is missing in your life? I mean - deep down, this is not about a life partner and not about money. Have you ever felt like a part of your soul has been lost? It is quite possible that this is an indication that your Inner Child has hidden.

Have you closed yourself in your "shell"? Do you try to hide your true feelings? Do you find it difficult to make friends and strengthen friendships? Do you often feel unwell? Is there chronic fatigue? Do you get irritated for no reason? Doesn't it happen that you are rapidly rushing forward, not even thinking about just taking a walk, breathing in the air and looking at the world around you? Are you often scared? Do you have a constant feeling of loneliness? Are there too few joys in your life? Don't you perceive any business as a "heavy burden"?

Just say yes or no.

Adults work - and children play!

If your answer is yes, then these are classic symptoms of a lack of love and a hidden Inner Child.

The best comparison that comes to mind is the classic story of a pony looking in a pile of dung. A child enters a stable dreaming of seeing a pony. He was told that the pony was here. Manure for a child is the tenth thing, it is not a hindrance at all. He enthusiastically sorts through the pile in search of a pony, laughs in anticipation - and finds it! The adult, who also knows that the pony is out there, often thinks only of the manure and either simply gives up looking or constantly complains about the stench. His experiences are with dung, not ponies. And how would you do it?

Well, of course, we are adults. We understand that our burden of responsibility and worries is much heavier than the ordinary burden of a child. But now I suggest you evaluate the degree of your own inner balance. Without a "baby inside" harmony is impossible! Have you ever been called a "nerd" or a "grunt"? Didn't your kids tell you that? (If so, they were probably very wise children!)

Some of you are already exclaiming: “Not me! I had a happy childhood!” The truth is that many of us had a far from happy childhood, and some even had a tragic one. Growing up can be a painful time. That is why you decided at one time to “dig a mink and climb there” so that at least some part of the child could survive the disastrous circumstances. And when this happened, you lost touch with the "real I" - and at the same time moved away from those around you.

Growing up, we often begin to consider as our own truths what we heard from people who had authority for us - parents, teachers, educators. Books, films and television also play a significant role. It's good if, with age, we begin to understand more clearly where the learned information is, and where - our own discoveries. Nevertheless, now we are already firmly ingrained in obsolete "programs" - they still work in our character, although they no longer bring real benefits. For example, as a child, you could firmly understand that you can’t play with fire, and after many years you suddenly had the idea of ​​sculpting sculptures with a blowtorch. Now you have to revise the old "record" and get rid of the fear and other feelings that prevent you from realizing the dream of being creative with fire.

What can be considered the main sign of a healthy Inner Child? Harmony. A person with a healthy Inner Child is relaxed, creative, playful, and joyful. He knows how to sincerely laugh at himself and what happens to him. In addition, such a person is in close connection with what he understands by the word "God." He feels the Spirit with all his soul. The listing could get long, but you probably get the idea by now.

When you fly on an airplane, flight attendants tell all passengers how to use oxygen masks that automatically fall out from above if the pressure in the cabin decreases. If you are flying with a child, the flight attendant will certainly say: “First take care of yourself, and then the child.” With any fluctuations in the “pressure of life”, first of all, you need to take care of yourself - in order to then be able to take care of the precious cargo that the Spirit has entrusted us to protect.

All this is wonderful, but what, in fact, to do? To begin with, let's add that when the pressure drops, the cockpit of our imaginary aircraft plunges into darkness. Thus, before helping your child, you need to cope with two tasks: firstly, grope for a mask and, secondly, put it on!

Finding a hidden child is a metaphor meaning recognition that this child is not currently participating in your life. The very understanding of the fact that the baby hid almost immediately entails his search and discovery. Consider this: when we address our children with instructions, we almost always emphasize that they are almost adults. Adulthood is attractive in many ways. For example, when a baby cries, parents often say, "Don't whine, you're already big." Have you ever heard that at least one mother said to the little one: “You are my little mommy's son”? Apparently, praise is always somehow connected with adulthood. And although we say all this to children because we ourselves believe that they should respond to something obvious - their own desire to grow up quickly - such statements often seem to negate the importance of "childishness." The time has come to recognize the fruitful richness of the "childish personality" both in children and in ourselves.

There is some irony in all this. Some experts are ready to confirm that if we could penetrate the innermost feelings of children, we would understand that babies treat all this with true wisdom - yes, they dream of the privileges of adults, but still they are well aware of how unhappy the elders are ( especially since all this sometimes affects the life of the family). So, kids may not want to grow up at all - they love being small! But we are now talking about the fact that any adult is able to regain wonderful "childish" features, many of which we still have, only hidden somewhere in the depths of our souls.

I would like to tell you about a great book dedicated to the search for a lost child in your soul, and this process is described step by step. This is one of the best works on the Inner Child in existence. The title of the book is Reclaiming Our Inner Child. The author is Ph.D. Lucia Capaccione. Here's what she says about the Inner Child and how important it is to us: "To become a complete person, you need to merge with your inner child and give him the freedom to express himself."

So, we are going in search of a buried treasure! The words “treasure hunt” are already evoking excitement in your Inner Child. I suggest you find the real treasure - yourself! It remains only to talk about a couple of ways. And if you take all this seriously enough, then we hope that the formality or novelty of these methods will not scare you away. They are efficient!

For the first communication with my Inner Child, I would recommend a quiet, calm and relaxed environment. In addition, at the very beginning, I advise you to say the words out loud and supplement them with statements about your intentions. Say whatever words mean to you. This is not prayer, not piety, but an appeal to your own innermost spiritual feelings, which is designed to show that you absolutely sincerely want to find your lost treasure.

It also seems to me that it is very important to “do away with the past”, that is, to tell your Inner Child that from now on you are entering into a completely new form of communication with him. Say that you apologize for forgetting about him, and for all those times when you did not pay attention to him and did not protect him. Say whatever you think is necessary - what you think this neglected part of the soul would like to hear. You may also want to forgive him for all the pain and bodily suffering, as well as other obstacles that arose in your life through his fault. Please take your time with this stage of the process, as frankness, clarity, and trust are essential ingredients for success.

When you feel like you've set the stage and are ready to start a dialogue, ask (aloud or mentally) your Inner Child what their name is. Accept the first answer that you hear, feel or perceive in some other way - and do not be surprised at anything. Continue the conversation by asking simple questions: what is his favorite food, what color is his favorite, and so on. In other words, take the time to learn how to talk with him and create an atmosphere of confidential communication. Over time, you will be able to engage in more serious and meaningful dialogues with him. Your task is to make this Child feel safe and also to convince him that you love and support him. This Child will be of great help to you - it will bring joy and a sense of harmony, health and good mood. Yes, it can work wonders! You just need to make it a part of your life.

At the very end, sit for a while and think about what kind of attitude from adults you dreamed of as a child. This will bring useful insights into effective, loving parenting—both your Inner Child and the children you raise. I can assure you that the effort you put into working with the Inner Child will pay off handsomely and bring great benefits to all. When your child presents you with another difficult task, use your newfound abilities and use them to strengthen mutual understanding with the baby. And if you are a wonderful parent for your child, then think about what you are doing for your son or daughter that you cannot do for your own Inner Child. I repeat once again: the importance of this work for your own development and harmony in the family, in the whole world around you, is simply impossible to overestimate!

“The Power of the Other Hand” is the title of another book by Dr. Capaccione*, as well as the method she developed, described in the already mentioned book Reclaiming Our Inner Child. Probably not all readers have done meditation, and many are now wondering if there is an exercise that would help them get answers from the Inner Child. Of course yes! Here is one of them, invented by Dr. Capaccione: it is funny and has already helped so many people.

We have a leading hand, but the second one “atrophies” from inactivity and “hardens” from early childhood. Paradoxically, it is this underdeveloped, “other hand” that is able to help us return to the Inner Child. Thanks to her, the right hemisphere of the brain begins to function. The fact is that each hemisphere of the human brain controls the opposite side of the body. In addition, it has already been found out that the hemispheres have their own “specialization”. In the left hemisphere are speech centers that control language and analytical abilities. This hemisphere is called "linear", "logical". The right hemisphere, in contrast, is not associated with verbal thinking and governs visual-spatial perception, emotions and intuition. Attempts to write with a "non-working" hand provide direct access to the functions of the right hemisphere. When you record with the "other hand" the dialogues between the Child and the adult (or the Inner Parent - the "working hand"), the two hemispheres of the brain enter into direct communication.

Through her long work with the Inner Child, Dr. Capaccione has found that when a person writes with their non-working hand, they have direct access to the functions of the right hemisphere. One of the writing techniques she uses is what she calls “talking with two hands.”

We are invited to record a conversation with a Child, shifting a pencil from hand to hand: you, an adult, write with your working hand (that is, the one you always write with), and your Inner Child with another, “non-working” one. It all starts with the fact that you express to the Kid Inside your desire to "get to know him better." Ask him his name, how he feels, how old he is - ask any questions he would like to answer. Then ask the Child to draw what he wants most in the world right now. Finally ask: “What else would you like to tell me?” At the end of the conversation, thank him and say that you will definitely talk to him again soon. And in the course of communication, remember the main thing: the child is always right. He only describes the sensations, which in themselves are neither good nor bad - it's just what he feels.

The results, according to Dr. Capaccione, are simply incredible. This exercise is best done every day, at least for ten minutes. Choose a quiet time of day - for example, right before bed. Also, put a picture of your Child in front of you during the conversation. This will help focus on the age to which he considers himself. Dr. Capaccione also recommends that you save the picture that the Child draws in the very first lesson and look at it in all subsequent "sessions".

How to Talk to Your Inner Child

1. Retreat to a calm and quiet place. Breathe deeply, dive into that beautiful corner of your mind where serenity reigns.

2. Think and say out loud the intention to get to know and find your Inner Child better.

3. When asking questions, write with your “working” hand.

4. When writing down the Child's answers, use the other, "non-working" hand.

5. Ask the Child what his name is and ask him to draw himself. Don't rush, give it time. And don't laugh! Show him the same love and patience that you have for your own children.

6. Ask other questions (see above)

7. Ask a closing question (“Is there anything else you would like to tell me?”) and thank the Child for responding and talking to you.

8. Tell him that you will talk to him again very soon.

Now that you have found the Child and entered into a conversation with him, it is time to establish with him the relationship that you have always wanted. This is "re-education" or, continuing our comparison with an oxygen mask on an airplane, "putting on a mask."

But what, exactly, is it? It's very simple: it's figuring out the ideal approach to raising your Inner Child. In other words, the search for the approach that you yourself dreamed of as a child: the way your “ideal parents” should behave. Ideal parents will always listen, will not refuse to play with you, will tell two tales instead of one, and will show their respect for the child by taking the time to have a sincere conversation.

Of course, there is much more, but the main thing is to change the “broken record”, that is, the stereotypes of behavior that make parents “critical” or “powerful”. The beauty is that now you yourself have become adults! In other words, you have already figured out everything that was so difficult to learn in childhood. And it greatly simplifies the process.

What should be done at the beginning of "re-education"? Here are some tips:

1. Communicate with the Baby Inside as much as he wants.

2. Get dirty! Yes, yes, literally! Play in the mud. Plant something in the garden. Paint something fun and silly. Most importantly, do not try to stick to the usual framework and conventions.

3. Sing, dance, play musical instruments, do something creative.

4. Go dancing! Can't dance? All the better! Move as you like and don't be afraid to look ridiculous. No one will think that you are weird if they see that you are just frolicking with might and main. On the contrary, you will only be envied!

5. Don't be surprised if you meet other similar adult Children. And, if possible, play together!

6. From time to time, let your Inner Child choose what to wear for himself (that's right, it's time to wear those stupid shorts that you bought some time ago).

Everything we talked about above is perfectly reflected in the Disney movie "The Kid" with Bruce Willis. Adult Bruce Willis unexpectedly meets his Inner Child on his doorstep. Then the process unfolds - Bruce's hero gets to know this Child better and begins to listen to him. He quickly realizes that this is not so easy, but when the Child finally merges with his soul, there is a reassessment of the past, a change in his perception, which, of course, has a great impact on the present. From a "critical" father, the hero of Bruce Willis is gradually turning into a real father. Although this film contains fantastic elements, it is based on a deep and correct analogy with the concept of the Inner Child.

I want to offer two exercises for working with the most important part of ourselves, our inner child. Perhaps you are a parent yourself. It does not matter. Although I was told that after doing these exercises, the relationship with my child born in life changed significantly. They became more frank and penetrating. All have their own individual characteristics. I had something similar.

1. Caress your baby.

Remember that child, how you were in one of the difficult periods of his (that is, in your past) life.

For this, of course, one must have imagination and it is more difficult for those who have an analytical type of mind. For people with a predominance of abstract - logical thinking over thinking figuratively - sensual, I generally strongly advise the well-known Gestalt therapy exercises: 1. Sharpening of body sensations, 2. Verbalization, 3. Visualization, 4. Experience of the continuity of emotions.

But back to our exercise. Reach out to your inner child. Call him by name, say warm, kind words, express your love to him.

Advise him on something. Be him the kind of parent you needed back then.

Give him a toy, you yourself know what. For example, I gave mine a real leather soccer ball. He wanted it so much, but he never got it. I think I managed to fix it. But I'm not sure.

If you have tears, it means that the exercise was successful.

It is more difficult for men, although nature does not forbid them to shed tears. But, that's nature.

Photos from your childhood can help you, because you probably have them preserved. Consider them carefully.

2. Second exercise. Write a letter to your inner child.

Looking at a photo of your 4-5 year old child (himself in the past), do you understand that he cannot read? It doesn't matter, imagine that he can and write him a letter.

Write how you miss him, how much you love him. Use whatever words come to mind when referring to your inner child. You yourself know what the words are.

You should feel that this child in the photo did not die, turning into an adult you, he is in you, but far away. Our inner child alive and waiting for us! You write to him and the connection is restored. It ceases to be abandoned and forgotten. He stops crying. And your tears are just not forbidden.

This is how it will happen healing your inner child.

These two exercises overlap. You can do both. You can choose one.

They may seem simple. But this is an appearance. In any case, they are deep, if you can penetrate into this depth.

Acceptance of your Child is an essential and necessary part of inner growth. Without love for your inner child, there will be no love for yourself, but there will be emptiness and dissatisfaction. Love for your inner child is love for yourself and your children.

No matter how big or small we are, almost all of us have experienced some kind of trauma in childhood.

Such injuries can be: your favorite toy was thrown into the trash; you were abandoned by your childhood best friend; physical or emotional abuse by parents or adults.

Working with the inner child is a vital component of soul work because it reconnects us with the wounded element of ourselves, the inner child. As we reconnect with this fragmented part of ourselves, we begin to discover the root of many of our fears, phobias, insecurities, and sabotage of life structures.

You will probably be surprised at what you discover as you work with your inner child. Instead of just looking at the symptoms of your pain, you will get straight to the point and identify when a fear, phobia, or a certain lifestyle has begun to form.

First, it is important to understand that there are different types of childhood trauma. They include physical (including sexual), emotional and mental trauma. Also, when childhood trauma was too severe or repeated so many times that the soul was lost behind these traumas. Soul retrieval is the process of "extracting" hidden or inaccessible parts of the soul.

However, not all childhood traumas lead to "loss of soul", but they may well lead to a wounded psyche. This can lead to problems such as depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, phobias, destructive behavior patterns, and even chronic illness.

Examples of childhood trauma may include:

• An emotionally unavailable parent who hides affection.
• Punishment by: kicking, shaking, burning, shaking the hair, pinching, scratching or washing the mouth with soap, spanking.
• Harassment, showing pornography or any other sexual activity.
• The child involved in the divorce.
• Inappropriate or burdensome responsibilities (for example, taking care of your parents).
• Not fed or provided a safe place to live.
• Leaving unattended for a long time.
• Emotional neglect, failure to develop, encourage and support.
• Calling and verbal abuse.
• Humiliation of the child's personality.
• Damage to the personal belongings of the child.
• Excessive requirements.
• Humiliation.
• Death of important people.
• Car accidents, or other natural traumatic events.

There are many more examples of childhood traumas, these examples are provided so that you can provide what working with the inner child has to do with. It is also important to remember that our parents were not the only ones responsible for instigating childhood trauma - our grandparents, siblings, other family members, family friends, and childhood friends may have also played a role.

Working with the inner child is a process of communicating, understanding, accepting and healing your inner child. Your inner child represents your first true self who entered this world; it contains your ability to experience surprise, joy, innocence, sensitivity, and playfulness.

Unfortunately, we live in a society that causes us to repress our inner child and "growth". But the truth is that while most adults have grown up physically, they never reach emotional and psychological maturity. In other words, the most "adults" are not very adults. Most people remain in a state of childish fear, anger and trauma that fester in the subconscious for decades.

When we reject and silence the voice of the inner child, we accumulate heavy psychological baggage. This unexamined and unresolved baggage causes us to deal with issues such as mental illness, physical ailments, and relationship disorders.

In fact, it can be said that the lack of a conscious attitude towards our own inner child is one of the main reasons for the serious problems that we see in modern society. From environmental abuse to self abuse, we have become completely separated from our true innocence.

Learning to work with your inner child is not about becoming a child, it's about reconnecting with the sincere, childish part.

In other words, there is a big difference between being infantile and being a child.

Being infantile to act like immature or naive. In a childish way, this is a state of purity and innocence. We all have the potential to experience true simplicity; that period in our lives when we saw the world with openness and wonder.

In order to eliminate the guilt, shame, fear, hatred, disgust, and anger that we carry with us, we must heal the child within. To do this, we must earn the trust of our inner child through love and self-cherishing.

Here are 4 ways to work with the inner child

1. Talk to your inner child.

Acknowledge your inner child and let him know that you treat him with kindness and respect.

You could say to your inner child, for example:

• I love you.
• I hear you.
• I'm sorry.
• Thank you.
• I forgive you.

Make it a habit to talk to your inner child. You can also communicate through journaling by asking your inner child a question and then writing down the answer.

Travel back to childhood through old photos and memories of important moments. Let these pictures be imprinted in your memory, because they will serve you throughout your work with the inner child. You might even want to put one of your childhood photos next to your bedside table or in your wallet to remind yourself of the presence of your inner child.

3. Recreate what you loved to do as a child.

Sit down and think about what you loved to do as a child. Maybe you enjoyed climbing trees, playing with toy blocks, hugging a soft toy bear, or eating warm porridge. Take time to include activities you loved doing as a child.

Through working with the inner child, people discover aspects of themselves that they, as adults, did not even know existed. These discoveries are life changing. Keep your heart open.

4. Take an inner journey.

One of the most powerful ways to reconnect with your inner child to heal childhood trauma is to take a trip back to childhood.

There are two types of inner journeys: those done through meditation and those done through visualization.

In order to make these inner journeys, it is important that you first gain the trust of your inner child through the previous methods. Once you have developed a strong connection with your inner child, you can then ask him to show you what earlier life circumstances created the trauma you are struggling with today.

Connecting with your inner child through meditation is a passive process: just breathe deeply, relax, allow yourself to be a witness to your thoughts, and ask your question. For example, you might want to ask, “Dear child, when was the first time I experienced trauma in my life?”

Allow yourself to witness the thoughts that arise and disappear. Your inner child can help you find the answers. Remember that it is important to be patient, loving and accepting. If your inner child doesn't want to reveal the answer, accept it. It is important that your inner child feels safe, secure, and ready.

You can repeat your question from time to time if no answer arises within your mind. This process can take from a couple of minutes to an hour or more.

In order to make the journey, you will need to have experience in meditation. Learning to be a witness to your thoughts can take a lot of practice, so if you're not used to meditation, you may resist this technique at first.

How to make a trip - visualization

A more active way to connect with your inner child and early trauma is through visualization.

In order to connect with your inner child through visualization, you need to create an "energetic space" or safe place. To do this, you need to visualize a beautiful garden or any place where you feel safe, inspired and whole. After entering the energy space, you can invite your inner child to speak.

Here are some steps

Relax, close your eyes and breathe deeply.

Imagine that you are walking down the stairs.

At the bottom of the ladder is your resource spot, or safe spot. In this place you feel strong, reliable and ready to support.

Spend some time at your resource spot. Dive into it. How does it look, smell and sound?

Once you've become familiar with your resource space, imagine your little self walking in, perhaps through a door or a waterfall.

Hug yourself - a child, let him feel at home.

When you're ready, ask your inner child your question, such as "When was the first time I felt sad or scared?" It is important to formulate the question in children's terminology.

Wait for his answer.

Be sure to hug him, thank him and tell him how much he means to you.

Say goodbye to him.

Return from your resource spot by climbing up the stairs.

Return to your ordinary consciousness.

These are very simple steps, but they provide a blueprint for how to complete the journey - the visualization.

Children perceive the world differently than adults. We assume that some events or phenomena from childhood could not cause us trauma, but it could leave deep scars in a child. Therefore, it is important to never make assumptions about your inner child.

Through working with your inner child, you can learn to grieve, heal, and resolve the traumas that you have unconsciously held on to for so many years. It can set you free and allow you to live a life of true maturity, emotional balance, and well-being.

I hope this article has inspired you to reconnect with your inner child. Share, how did you learn to heal traumas from your childhood? Thank you!

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