What are the reasons why we often cannot refuse a person? Why is it important to learn to say "no"? How to do this without offending the interlocutor and without feeling guilty? If you want to know the answers to all these questions, then this article is for you! HOW TO REFUSE A PERSON CORRECTLY.
What type of people are you? HOW TO REFUSE A PERSON CORRECTLY
Sometimes it seems that all people can be divided into two groups - those who can clearly, politely and confidently say "no" to any uncomfortable situation and those who, doubting the correctness, always agree to the requests of colleagues, friends, neighbors and relatives.
The first group of people, as a rule, is more confident in themselves, expresses their point of view more clearly, emerge victorious from verbal battles. It can be said about the second group that they cannot defend their opinion, they are less confident, but they always come to the rescue, help out, lend money, work overtime, walk someone's dog or babysit someone else, etc.
They console themselves with the thought: “And who else if not me?” or “What are friends for then?” They are embarrassed, uncomfortable, ashamed to refuse, or even silently shake their heads negatively. HOW TO REFUSE A PERSON CORRECTLY
Why can't we refuse? HOW TO REFUSE A PERSON CORRECTLY
Why are people so afraid to say “no”, even if they do not have free time, energy and desire? The main reason is fear. The most diverse and their large number:
- fear of appearing rude, impolite,
- fear of losing friendship
- fear that you will also be denied,
- fear of conflict
- fear of guilt.
We are afraid of losing a good attitude towards ourselves, we are afraid of loneliness. As a rule, such a person thinks: “If I refuse to help, then my friends, relatives, colleagues will turn away from me.
I will stay alone. When I need help, no one will help me.” Most psychologists agree that all these fears come from childhood. In most cases, strict parents punished the child for bad behavior, deprived him of love, praise, affection.
In such a family, the child unquestioningly listened to the conditions of his mother (or father), without having his own opinion, and tried with all his might to earn approval or praise. Punishing or scolding the child for any offense, the parents formed in him the fear of losing love, of becoming "bad".
Over time, such a child grows into a person who is dependent on the opinions of others, a person who tries to please and please everyone. HOW TO REFUSE A PERSON CORRECTLY
We tend to think that rejection is rude and impolite. And we want to live in harmony, where everyone is happy, happy and satisfied with communication. And subconsciously, the desire to please prevails over the mind.
We think: “If they turn to me for help, if I am in demand, then they love me.” But this is far from true. Most of the time, we don't realize when we are being manipulated.
And instead of doing what we like, we hurt ourselves. Our inner feelings fade into the background, and we become dependent on external approval.
It often happens that agreeing to help, we are afraid to miss the opportunity. These situations usually happen at work, when we take on an extra burden, hoping for a raise, a pay increase, or being noticed.
And, of course, we agree because of the fear of being fired. HOW TO REFUSE A PERSON CORRECTLY
Why is it important to learn how to say "no"? HOW TO REFUSE A PERSON CORRECTLY
- Non-failure people are considered by others to be weak-willed, since they cannot firmly and clearly refuse in a given situation. Accordingly, you should not rely on more love, respect or trust for you if you help everyone.
- By learning to say no, you will immediately have more free time, which you can happily devote to yourself or your loved ones.
- Your strength and energy will not be wasted in an unnecessary direction.
- If the inability to say “no” created your mental discomfort, was the cause of stress, apathy or depression, then learning to refuse will make you feel happier, calmer.
- You will become more confident and your self-esteem will increase if you know that you are not being used.
- You will feel freer from the opinions of others and from selfish people who like to "sit on the neck" of reliable friends.
Do you think it is difficult to learn how to properly and politely refuse? Do you think that you are doomed to be led and deceived for life? Not at all! You need to put a little effort, patience, perseverance and put our advice into practice.
And you will immediately notice how stronger, more confident and happier you will feel. Some arm themselves with the advice they have received in order not to be taken advantage of.
Someone understands how to talk with an annoying neighbor or a cunning colleague who is trying to find benefits in everything. Or maybe you yourself will eventually become a manipulator? In any case, this is your personal business.
10 ways to say no.
- First, you must rethink for yourself all the children's fears and understand that it is impossible to please everyone and be always good. You cannot constantly live someone else's life, give all of yourself for someone, even if this someone is your family or friend. You come into conflict with yourself, infringe and deprive yourself of pleasant moments, regret the lost time and energy. You betray yourself! Sacrifice yourself for the sake of another person. Remember, you always have a choice and you have the right to always say a firm “no”.
- Secondly, it is important to understand that you will not become a better person for someone, even if you constantly agree to all requests to the detriment of yourself. The people around you won't love you anymore. Asking you for something, the manipulator uses selfish interest, and friendship and love are sincere feelings.
- Mark for yourself and remember a lot of benefits of a free, not burdened with promises, person. And every time you hear a request addressed to you, think first of all about yourself. This will give you more confidence in speaking with your opponent.
- When asked, do not make unnecessary promises, such as: “I will try (I will try)” or “I will think about it.” These phrases put on you the burden of responsibility for what was said, and for the petitioner this means consent. And he will wait for the completed task.
- Calmly, confidently and friendly, looking into the person’s eyes, say: “No, I can’t work late today / I can’t babysit for your child / I can’t lend you money because ....”. It is important to say this phrase without a shadow of a doubt, otherwise you will continue to be persuaded. And you don't need it.
- Don't apologize for your rejection. Subconsciously, a person begins to apologize when he feels guilty. But we found out that this is not your fault. You have nothing to apologize for if you have completely different plans.
- Make a promise to yourself to always be honest with yourself and with others. When refusing a request, it is important to honestly state the reason for the refusal. “Today I have completely different plans / lack experience in this matter / I’m not interested in this.”
- If you can offer an alternative solution to the problem, help with advice, express sympathy.
- If the interlocutor continues to insist, beg, beg, it is necessary to listen to him again and repeat the reasons for the refusal without irritation and rage.
- Finally, learn to ask for help yourself. As a rule, people who do not know how to say “no” themselves cannot ask for anything. They get used to putting everything on their shoulders and carrying the load for themselves and for “that guy”. HOW TO REFUSE A PERSON CORRECTLY
We do not urge you to become heartless and callous egoists and refuse everything and everything. Do as your heart tells you. Be honest with yourself.
Find harmony and balance in your life. And in order to live in harmony with yourself and your principles, you need to understand what you are currently feeling: a desire to sincerely help or irritation with the interlocutor?
Of course, helping others is important and necessary, since we live in society. After all, sometimes people who really need help come with a request. Good luck to you!
What are the reasons why we often cannot refuse a person? Why is it important to learn to say "no"? How to do this without offending the interlocutor and without feeling guilty? If you want to know the answers to all these questions, then this article is for you! HOW TO REFUSE A PERSON CORRECTLY.
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It is very difficult for many people to refuse the request of relatives or friends, even if, by fulfilling the request, the person pushes back their own plans and interests. Helpfulness is a wonderful trait, but how do you define the line between responsiveness and dependability? How to refuse?
Why is it so hard to say "no"
The most difficult thing is to refuse the closest people. It seems that our refusal will look rude, and the child or close relative will be offended and stop communicating. This fear pushes you to fulfill the request without fail.
We are afraid to create conflict by our refusal. It seems to us that if he does not agree to fulfill the request, the person will be unpleasant and angry. In the conditions of modern life, when stressful situations are quite common, and the level of aggression in relationships is quite high, we strive to avoid the development of conflict in any way and do not defend our interests.
Another reason for non-repudiation is the fear of being alone. This feeling drives us when we join the majority, although in fact we have a different opinion. We begin to doubt the correctness of our position and agree against our will.
Kindness can push us to agree to any request. This quality is greatly appreciated and encouraged by others, and we ourselves begin to be proud of this trait of our character. However, this is what makes us always enter the position of asking, to sympathize and fulfill the request.
We may fear losing an opportunity in the future. It seems to us that if we refuse the request of the boss, then he will not go to meet us in the future. And if we do not agree to fulfill the desire of a friend, even for objective reasons, then we will not be able to count on his help and support in the future.
Another reason may be the reluctance to destroy relationships, even friendly ones. Some people perceive the refusal of a request as an absolute rejection and after that they stop any communication.
Restlessness is bad!
To learn how to deal with reliability, you need to understand why you should not always fulfill the requests of others and what negative results this can lead to.
As psychologists note, trouble-free people are often considered weak-willed. You must understand that by fulfilling any request, you cannot win the respect and trust of others. And over time, relatives, friends, work colleagues will simply begin to use your gentleness and kindness.
In order to feel whole and free as a person, a balance must be struck. Mutual assistance and mutual assistance are necessary, but your interests and principles should not suffer. It is always necessary to analyze the situation, do not hesitate to ask for time to consider the request and make a decision.
Too many of us do not want to struggle with internal problems. Common phrase: “Know how to say no!” familiar to everyone, but not everyone wants to learn it. By saying no, we internally prepare for a negative reaction, so we often choose the easy way and agree.
If you start to analyze your thoughts and behavior in a similar situation, you will understand that before giving an answer, you have not thought much about all the pros and cons. And just by agreeing, you can remember that you are violating your plans that were important to you.
How to refuse
The basic rules of competent refusal can be formulated as follows:
- refuse calmly;
- don't make excuses;
- behave confidently;
- offer an alternative.
During a conversation, do not allow resentment, indignation or aggression to get the better of you. Don't go defensive. Your “no” should be calm and kind. You must understand that refusing does not mean spoiling the relationship or quarreling. You are asked, so you have the right to both agree and refuse the request.
When you start making excuses, you give the person asking the opportunity to start persuading you and putting pressure on you. You can always object to any of the most compelling arguments.
If you cannot do without explaining the reason, then tell the interlocutor that you are sorry, refer to circumstances beyond your control, for example, to an earlier agreement that can no longer be changed. Do not say that you are simply not in the mood or that you are very tired. Just be confident in your decision so it doesn't sound like an excuse or an excuse.
In some cases, instead of explaining the reason for the refusal, it is better to offer an alternative solution to the problem, in which a friend or colleague can do without your help.
Learn to talk about how help doesn't fit your current needs and priorities. It's okay if you need to take the time to solve your own problems.
Psychologists call the phrase very effective: “It seems to me that you have chosen not quite the right person.” Refer to the fact that you simply do not have enough knowledge and experience to fulfill the request. It is best to say this directly than in vain to reassure the interlocutor. Finding an experienced specialist will be the best option for your friend or acquaintance.
It's a good idea to say outright that you can't fulfill a request. We set barriers for ourselves that prevent us from speaking openly and honestly. Know that the asking person least of all wants to be deceived or reassured in vain, he wants to know for sure whether you can help him or not.
How not to refuse
The biggest mistakes people make when they say no are because we want to be polite and tactful. But the effect is the opposite. Psychologists recommend speaking clearly and looking at the interlocutor when refusing. If you look away and mumble something, it will give the impression that you simply neglected the request.
I can't refuse. That is, of course, I try to say no politely, but I very rarely succeed. Usually, all my attempts to politely refuse and at the same time not hurt the person end either with an insult or with the phrase “well, I’ll see what can be done.” The most extreme case - this is . I don't know if a lie is small, good or half true. This is an even more difficult question.
constantly deceive - not a very good way out, which in the end will still lead to a conflict, since you will finally get confused and lie.
How to refuse your boss, who once again asks you to stay after work? How to say a firm “no” to your relatives so that they are not offended? How do you let your friends know that you can't help them right now?
In fact, there are a lot of options, we just don't know about them.
Your offer sounds very tempting, but unfortunately I have too much to do right now.
With the phrase “this sounds very tempting”, you make it clear to the person that his offer is of interest to you. And the second part says that you would love to participate (or help), but at the moment you have too many urgent tasks.
A beautiful refusal, but from my own experience I can say that for close friends or relatives, it will do it once or twice, and even then not in a row. If you refuse them in this way for the third time, the fourth time no one will offer you anything. This is especially true for picnics and other recreational activities.
Remember, once or twice - and then either change your social circle (for some reason you constantly refuse them?), or finally go somewhere. Suddenly you like it?
But for people you don't see that often, this answer is perfect.
I'm sorry, but the last time I did this or that, I had a negative experience
Mental or emotional trauma - another interesting option. Only a sadist will continue to insist that a person do what he did not like. Or a complete optimist with the slogan “What if the second time will be better?!”.
Although with some grandmothers trying to feed their emaciated offspring, the answers “I don’t eat meat,” “I’m lactose intolerant,” or “I don’t like boiled vegetables” do not work.
But if you say that the last time after you drank milk, you could not be in society all day because of stomach problems, you might be saved. Grandma, of course, will look at you a little sideways and with a slight reproach, but she will not pour it into a cup with the words: “Well, this is homemade, from Aunt Klava, nothing will come of it!”.
I'd love to, but...
Another good way to say no. You would love to help, but unfortunately you can't at the moment. Just don't go into lengthy explanations of why.
First, starting to explain something in detail, you gradually begin to feel. And secondly, in this way you give the person the opportunity to cling to something in your story and persuade you.
Just a short and clear answer. No essays on the topic "I would love to, but you understand, I need to do ...".
To be honest, I'm not very good at this. Why don't you ask N, he's a pro at this
This is by no means a translation of the arrows.
If you've been asked to do something or help with advice, and you don't feel competent enough, why not suggest someone who really understands it? So you will not only not offend a person, but also show that you care and you are trying to help in any way you can.
I can't do it, but I'll be happy to help with…
On the one hand, you refuse to do what they are trying to impose on you, on the other - still help and at the same time choose what you want to do.
You look great, but I don't quite get it
What to do if a friend bought a dress that, to put it mildly, does not really suit her. Here the dilemma "who is more friend" arises. - the one to tell the truth, or the one to say she looks great in all the outfits?! This applies not only to appearance, but also to the choice of an apartment, work and life partner, after all.
But who are we to talk freely about fashion? If we were, for example, well-known designers, then we could criticize and immediately offer several other options to choose from.
And if not? Then either say everything as it is, if you are sure of the adequacy of a girlfriend or friend, or transfer the arrows to some celebrity from the world.
It sounds great! But now, unfortunately, I have a very tight schedule. Let me call you...
This answer is great when the option is interesting, but right now you're really not in a position to help. So you not only do not offend the person, but also leave for yourself the opportunity to join the offer that interests you a little later.
Even at lectures on psychology at the university, we were taught that it is necessary to refuse, starting a sentence with the word “yes”, and then adding the notorious “but”.
It works, though not always. It all depends on the situation and the person. You won’t be able to play around for a long time and sooner or later you will have to explain why it’s still “no”.
But if you are diplomatic and firm enough, then over time people will know that if you refuse, it is not because you are just lazy or you do not want to have anything to do with them, but because you are a very busy person and you will definitely you can, but a little later. In the end, people must learn to respect you and your opinion. As well as you - someone else's.
The word "no" is incredibly easy to pronounce, yet many people find it hard to say despite the fact that others use it quite often and nonchalantly about them. Many are not able to answer a person with a refusal. There are people who, not wanting to offend another, categorically refuse to say “no”, expecting some negative consequences in case of refusal.
There are many reasons why they cannot protect against manipulation and say that simple word. As a result of constant continuous violence against oneself, a person earns stress. It makes no sense to bring your psyche to such an extreme. A polite refusal can make your life a lot easier.
In this article, we will try to carefully understand why it is sometimes so difficult to say “no” and learn how to learn to refuse people.
Why is it so hard to say "no"
Many people agree in cases where they would gladly say no. Why is this happening? In fact, saying “yes” is much easier, because such an answer, despite internal violence against oneself, is more comfortable for many. When a person agrees to any request, in most cases he can count on gratitude and a positive attitude towards himself. When you say "yes" to your boss, work colleague, or unknown passerby on the street, you have every chance to feel affection and sympathy for yourself.
Refusal is inextricably linked with the need to argue one’s “no”, thereby heating up the situation between people. When you say no, you may feel 100% that you did the right thing, but still have some inner discomfort because you feel like you weren't responsive enough. You may even feel guilty about not helping the person.
Low self-esteem can also cause people to be unable to say no. This quality is formed in childhood. If the parents loved the child just for who he is, then he will not have problems with self-esteem. Such people are able to say “no” absolutely independently of someone else's opinion without any feeling of guilt. A person does not even think about making excuses to someone. He just says "no" just because it would be best for him.
If a person is overly educated, then he has a risk of becoming a trouble-free person. The fear of appearing ill-bred becomes the reason that a person simply cannot imagine how to politely refuse. To get rid of such a complex, it is enough to understand one simple truth: the word “no” in no way violates the norms of decency, and in some situations even strengthens them.
Another reason why people can't refuse is because they don't understand the significance of refusal.
Why is it important to learn how to say "no"?
When you politely refuse a person, you can save yourself wasted hours, days, or even months of your personal time. This way you won't fall into the so-called promise trap.
A trouble-free person initially remains in a disadvantageous position for himself. Such a person will be constantly used by everyone in their interests, and the person himself will neglect his own. The importance of mutual assistance cannot be denied, since it is an important component of normal relations between people. But, constantly fulfilling someone's requests, while ignoring their personal interests, a person acquires a reputation as a spineless person that can be used without a twinge of conscience.
The desire to learn to say "no" will instantly stop any manipulation from those around you. In addition, failing to refuse any request, we run the risk of letting down the person who turned to us for help, because the lack of time, desire and strength to do something will lead to inefficient completion of the task. In the case when you are unable to cope with a problem, it is best to refuse immediately than to force a person to place certain hopes on you. Remember that by constantly responding positively to any requests, you run the risk of completely losing touch with your own "I", not realizing what you yourself really want.
When will you realize how to say no to a person, you will gain considerable respect in your social circles. When you say "no", it does not mean at all that you become unnecessary for people. There are many different options for how to confirm your indispensability and uniqueness.
Successful people know the simple recipe for success. To do this, you need to do only what causes admiration and enthusiasm. In order to weed out uninteresting and useless tasks, you just need to learn how to say “no”.
To achieve unprecedented career growth and to learn how to manage your life, you must be able to firmly and impartially refuse when your heart tells you, and agree where your intuition says, “this is really what you need!
Learning to Say No - How to Learn to Say No
The main mistake of people who do not know how to say "no", lies in the fact that they do not realize that any person can enter into their position in the same way that they can do it. However, if you see any signs of aggression as a reaction to your refusal, you should definitely consider whether it makes sense to contact someone who completely ignores your interests.
Don't let people slow you down on your way to goal. If any request seems insignificant compared to your plans, then you should definitely answer with a 100% refusal. You should not simplify the life of another person to the detriment of your own happiness. Remember that you have your own life, work, interests, leisure and hobbies.
In order to understand how to refuse correctly, you need to clearly identify your life priorities. For example, in the first place you put the peace and well-being of your family, in the second - your career, and in the third - hobbies and hobbies. Don't forget these things when you're hesitating between yes and no.
If an expression that says that even a dead fish can easily go with the flow, but only one that has a backbone will go against it. If you are not a spineless creature, show strength of character and determination when it is necessary to refuse, and remember that you have the right to refuse in any case when the request is contrary to your interests.
You need to grope and strengthen your resolve. Before making a decision, be sure to think about the motives of this or that person, decide whether his request really plays into your hands. Make a decision in your head about the refusal and confidently express it to the interlocutor.
When you say "no", be sure to use the pronoun "I". Briefly justify your refusal so that the person understands why they came across your “no”. You should not mumble and show any signs of insecurity, because such behavior will either lead to a conflict situation, or your vulnerable position will still be taken advantage of, and you will again say an unwanted “yes”. Refuse as firmly and concisely as possible so that the interlocutor does not have a desire to persuade you.
Remember that your posture and intonation should speak of your confidence. It is very important.
Some psychologists advise you to record in a special notebook those moments when you failed to answer “no”. It is necessary to assess in what situations and with what people this happened more often. It is necessary to describe the feelings you experience at such moments, and also to think about how you should have behaved in this or that situation.
How to say no to someone - how to say no
In cases where you know for sure that you will refuse a person, you should not interrupt him. Give him the opportunity to fully express himself. Refusal should not look like a spit on his interests from a high mountain. In order to show the absence of indifference towards the asker, you can show the person any alternative ways out of the situation. It must be understood that very often we have to refuse proposals or requests to which, under other circumstances or at another time, we would have agreed. Therefore, do not forget to offer various options for solving certain problems.
It is good when the refusal must be in writing, even if the communication takes place in real time. You always have time to think about your "no". If you are contacting a person verbally, never respond immediately, arguing that you need to think. This wording will simultaneously prepare the person for a possible rejection and give you the opportunity to buy some time to justify your “no”.
When you finally decide to say no, think through everything you plan to say. You are unlikely to refuse something very pleasant, so your emotions can be very diverse.
It should be borne in mind that your refusal will in most cases be followed by another attempt to convince you. Listen to your partner without interrupting. Voice your refusal again, if necessary - several times. This technique is called "broken record". Form clear, understandable arguments.
In order to make your refusal a little softer, you can use the so-called “Refuse with understanding” technique. Let the interlocutor know that you sympathize with their problem, and convince them that there is nothing you can do to help at the moment. It will not be superfluous to add how important it is for you to trust a person in you.
Summing up all of the above, we note that no matter how you try to manipulate, you do not have to justify yourself to anyone. Often, a firm “no” without unnecessary ranting is enough for no one else to ever think of using you for their own purposes.
You should also not go to extremes, refusing any requests. Remember that the decision to fulfill this or that request should be your own, and not the product of the manipulation of another person.
Helpful Hints
Turning down another person is always difficult, and many of us make commitments that we would like to avoid.
Sometimes we we agree out of politeness, and sometimes we just don’t know how to refuse a person.
Human nature is such that we want to like b to other people, we want to be kind and pleasant.
In many cases, the inability to say "no" can become a problem because,that we forget about ourselves and our needs, while trying not to hurt someone's feelings.
If you're afraid of rejection most of the time, you're doing yourself a disservice. It's important for you to prioritize. By agreeing to everything, you risk simply burning out.
So how to refuse a person without offending him? Here are some tips how to do it politely and tactfully.
How to learn to say no to people
1. Use the word "No".
Use " Not", "Not this time", but not " I do not think so", "I'm not sure", "Maybe next time". The word "No" has incredible power. Use it if you are absolutely and precisely sure that there can be no other answer. And you do not need to apologize for your answer. Practice saying the word "No" until you feel comfortable, pronouncing it.
2. Use strong but polite options.
I appreciate your time, but no thanks.
Thank you for thinking of me, but my plate is already full.
No thanks!
Not today, thanks.
Not for me, thanks.
I'm afraid I can't.
I'm not really into yoga/hard rock/computer games, but thanks for asking.
I don't feel like it.
Perhaps I will refuse.
3. Notcunning.
This goes for family, friends, and even your boss. You don't have to come up with some elaborate gimmick all the time - just say you don't want to. If you don't want to go to an event because you've had a rough week and would rather stay home and watch TV, say so. Don't make up a dying grandmother to make your excuse more acceptable.
4. Don't keep explaining.
In some cases it is better not to go into details. If you start making excuses too much, it will look like you are lying, or it will allow the person asking you to find workarounds and get you to agree.
5. Don't be afraid to say it twice.
Some people don't respect other people's boundaries or are used to the person giving up if asked again. Don't give in just because someone is too pushy. Smile politely, and say "No" again, even more firmly than the first time.
6. If necessary, say "because."
Research has shown that the word "because" makes people agree with you, even if the reason is completely absurd. Instead of saying, "Sorry, I can't arrange the meeting," try to give a reason to soften the rejection.
7. Smile and shake your head.
You can resort to this before leaving. This works when people on the streets are handing out flyers or trying to get you to sign something.
8. Be persistent.
How to refuse a request
16. Don't delay.
There is no point in making a person wait for an answer if you know the answer will be no. Delaying the response only exacerbates the situation. Don't say "I'll think about it" if you're not going to.
17. You can change your answer.
If you agreed once, it does not mean that you should always do it.
18. Repeat this often.
The devil is not as scary as he is painted. The more you practice, the less intimidating it becomes. Start refusing everything that does not add any value to your life.
19. What a pity!
When you say "I'm sorry, I can't," while it softens your message and makes it polite, it sounds rather vague. It's better to say " What a pity, I would like to help, but I already made an appointment with .... I wish you good luck".
20. Desire to please.
We often agree with something that is not of paramount importance, because we do not want people to think badly of us. However, some people will think badly of us anyway, no matter how polite you are. So stop worrying about what other people think and finally say "No".
21. Get ahead of the request.
When you learn to say no, you will begin to proactively say "No" before the request comes up. If you think that your friend is going to invite you to the wedding, let him know that you are broke.
22. Avoid those who constantly ask for something.
If you know a person who constantly asks for money, never returning it, avoid him, especially when you know that he is going through just such a period.
23. A harmless lie.
Of course, in most cases you need to tell the truth, but sometimes you have to be creative with the answer. For example, if you know that your grandmother will try to persuade you to eat her pies, let her know that the doctor forbade you to eat flour if you do not want to offend her. If the grandmother is very persistent, go back to tip number 2.
24. Not now.
You should only use this answer if you know for sure that you will consider this request later. For example, you can say that you will look into this matter when you return in a week. If the request is not urgent, do not drop everything, but say that you will take up work as soon as you complete your project.
How beautifully and competently to refuse
25. It's not about you, but about me.
Use this phrase if you feel that the idea/person/event is more suitable for someone else, but that someone is not you. You can also say that it doesn't suit you.
26. It's not about me, but about you.
Turn this phrase around and don't be afraid to say a firm "No" if you're sure of it. For example, if you're a vegetarian and don't want to "just a little" try your aunt's meat, say: " Thanks, but you know I'm a vegetarian and will never try this.". Draw the line when you need to and people will respect your choice.
27. Show empathy .
Sometimes all it takes is empathy for the other person. For example, " I know it's annoying, but I can't, I'm sorry".
28. You don't have to be nice all the time.
Do you need permission to refuse because you don't want to? Consider that you have been given it.
29. State your discomfort.
If a friend asks you to borrow money, say something like: " I don't like borrowing money, I'm sorry".
How to refuse a job
30. I would like to help you.
Sometimes you need to be softer. " I'd like to help you with a project, but I'm swamped with work this week.".
31. Thank you, but no.
Sometimes, that's all there is to say. Or you can say the above phrase to soften the answer. Thus, you thank the person for contacting you, tactfully refusing him.
32. Use facial expressions and gestures.
Shake your head, raise your eyebrows, and sometimes roll your eyes. Use body language to show that you are serious, even when you politely refuse.
33. Buy time.
Use this as a last resort or you risk being bombarded with requests later. You're just postponing the inevitable, but if it helps you, you can say: " let me think about it", "I'll check my schedule and say".
34. I'm flattered, but no thanks.
Sometimes you need to be grateful that a person has asked you for something. For example, you were offered a promotion at work, but you did not want it.
35. I really shouldn't.
This answer is suitable for when you would like to say "Yes" but feel you should say no. For example, when you receive an unexpected gift. When you say this, the person is likely to respond so that you accept them without any hesitation.
36. For nothing in the world!
This phrase should be used with caution, and perhaps only with friends.
37. I said "No".
This works in the case of children or pushy counselors. Again, be polite but firm.
38. This is not the best option.
This is a gentle way of saying "No" when, for example, you are asked "Does this neon dress suit me?". Instead of responding abruptly, say that this is not the best color, and you should try on a blue dress.
39. Mmm, no (accompanied by laughter)
Use this phrase carefully, for example, when someone asks you to work for free or tries to insult you.
40. I know that you were not hoping for this answer.
It is important to acknowledge the other person's feelings, and this response will help soften the rejection. If you know that the person expects something from you that you cannot do, say "No" and say this phrase.
How to tactfully refuse
