Why love yourself. An example of how judging others limits you

Psychologists talk a lot and often about the need to love yourself. Experts are convinced that this is necessary for the correct formation of a full-fledged personality. But what is self love? Perhaps in ensuring a comfortable existence for yourself? But will this not be a manifestation of selfishness in relation to loved ones? There are many different questions that need to be answered.

So how to love yourself and increase self-esteem for a woman? Why do complexes appear? Are they objective? So, let's figure out how to love yourself like that and what are the ways to normalize self-esteem?

Why you need to love yourself

Statistics say that almost half of women are dissatisfied with themselves, their appearance, some character traits or quality of life, which causes many complexes and depression. They do not know how to love and appreciate themselves. How then can a woman expect recognition and understanding from others?

Self-love does not mean neglect of loved ones. This desire to be better, smarter, more beautiful, to succeed in life. It will fill you with self-confidence and confidence in a brighter future.

Often women do not understand this and continue to suffer in silence, considering themselves unlucky and unhappy. However, the ability to love yourself must be learned. This is a daily work that requires patience and perseverance, which will reward you with harmony and peace in your own soul. Many do not understand how to love yourself, but the advice of a psychologist will help to cope with this difficult task.

How to learn to love yourself

  • Above all, allow yourself to be imperfect.

No one is able to know and be able to do everything, even the most beautiful, rich and famous. Every person makes mistakes in life, maybe irreparable. He forgives them to other people, why can't he forgive himself? You should learn from them so as not to commit in the future, but not be tormented by the thought that nothing can be corrected. We must be able to let go of the past, drawing the necessary conclusions.

  • No need to feel sorry for yourself, creating the image of the victim

Pity gives rise to a feeling of helplessness and hopelessness. Even a person deprived of nature, a disabled person can find himself in this life if he has sufficient willpower. Why should a healthy, pretty and full of strength woman feel sorry for herself?

  • Getting things done is a prerequisite

Unfinished business indicates weakness, defeat, inability to deal with difficulties.

  • No need to compare with other people

Every woman is unique in her own way. It is better to compare yourself today with yesterday and celebrate positive changes. It is worth praising yourself more often for the successes achieved, even the smallest ones. It's even better to write them down. Every day they will increase, and along with this, self-confidence will appear. You only need to celebrate your merits. Everyone has flaws, so don't dwell on them.

  • Happy people who do what they love all their lives

Choosing an occupation to her liking, a woman achieves much greater success. They inspire, add self-confidence, remove negative emotions.

Exercises

How to accept yourself as such and what is the technique that helps to love the real you? There are a few simple exercises that should be done daily:

  • going to the mirror, you need to praise yourself; at first, during training, internal tension will arise, but over time it will disappear;
  • slouching is a sign of low self-esteem, self-doubt, so every day you need to work on your posture and gait in order to learn how to keep your back straight and your head high.

A woman receives from the surrounding world a mirror reflection of those emotions and the attitude that she feels and sends to him. And self-love fills her with joyful, positive feelings. At the same time, self-respect should not be confused with pity or selfishness. After all, there are two types of such feelings.

  • Self-admiration is most common when it seems to a person that he is the best.
  • The second is based on self-pity and the belief that the whole of life is sheer bad luck and injustice.

Both types of self-esteem are contrary to reality. In order to make it adequate, first of all, it is necessary to recognize this contradiction. How can you love yourself when you are selfish or insecure?! Of course, this is impossible.

Methodology for improving self-esteem

Psychology has different methods of increasing self-esteem. One of them offers to look at yourself from the side, as a stranger, and find real features that command respect. This requires the following steps.

  • You need to sit in silence and remember the pleasant moments of life that cause a feeling of pride in your actions. You should write them down on paper.
  • The next step is to write down the memories that left a feeling of embarrassment and shame for their behavior. You should analyze these events and find out their causes. Then you need to forgive yourself for mistakes and not return to them anymore.
  • Comparing the results of two exercises, you need to find a middle ground, your real qualities.
  • It is necessary to make two more lists: the first will include objects and events that you like, cause positive emotions, and the second - those that provoke a feeling of irritation.
  • You should think about how to remove from your life those phenomena that cause negativity. If this is not possible, you need to change your attitude towards them and not get annoyed because of their presence. It is better to accept these things as inevitable, like rain or snow, which someday will end.
  • The first list should be used as an antidepressant that helps improve mood, restore interest in life.

These simple exercises will help you fall in love with yourself, and in the future will improve not only mental but also physical health.

Reverse action

The attitude to the world around is important, that is, to those events, people, things and circumstances among which a woman lives. This is a reality that gives joy and sorrow, and we must be grateful for life. After all, there is no other world and never will be. You can not condemn other people: acquaintances, relatives, colleagues. They must be held accountable for their decisions and actions.

If there is something annoying in others, you need to analyze your behavior. It is believed that those character traits that a person condemns in others are present in himself, which is why they hurt him. We must try to correct them in ourselves, or we will have to put up with them in others. Having accepted your shortcomings and stopped constantly criticizing yourself, it is easier to cope with complexes, raise self-esteem.

  • smile in response to an insult;
  • if money runs out, donate a certain amount to charity;
  • Fear can be overcome with laughter.

Thus, by giving kindness and love to the world around you, you can get more of the same in return.

Relationship with parents

If you look for the origins of self-dislike, you often have to return to your childhood. Usually the reasons lie in the plane of the relationship of parents with daughters and sons. In trying to see their dreams come true through their children, many moms and dads put undue pressure on them. Resentment against parents sometimes passes through many years.

To get rid of this destructive emotion, you need to learn to forgive - and your parents, and yourself, and other people. How to learn to accept yourself, your mom and dad the way everyone is? Psychologists suggest doing the following for this.

  • If you remember how your mother scolded you in childhood, you need to say kind and affectionate words to her, even if at first it will be difficult.
  • You have to take care of old relatives. Help will respond with gratitude, and she, in turn, will return with vital energy.
  • No need to try to please everyone, including parents and relatives. It's still impossible.
  • Help must be selfless. At the same time, you shouldn't let anyone manipulate you. The person himself must determine the amount of his help.

In relations with your parents, you should try to form a positive common memory, it will help you forget and forgive childhood grievances. It is worth trying to open your emotions without blaming anyone. Joint discussion of long-standing grievances will help. If the parents are no longer alive, you should try to reproduce this conversation in your imagination and forgive them.

Think Positive

How to love yourself? To do this, you need to learn to be grateful to yourself and to this world. It is important to find every day a small reason for joy. Gratitude phrases can be written down and read at any convenient time. Thoughts are material, so they should always be positive.

Often women try to push away, drive away those memories that cause pain. They want to get rid of experiences, but sadness and longing return with even greater force. But these feelings cannot be ignored, they must be experienced in order to then be forced out of the head.

There are some more useful tips that will help you understand how to love yourself as a woman:

  • good deeds not only, they will cause an increase in vital energy - it can be charity or volunteering;
  • do not hold back and hide your emotions, but you should not let them control you;
  • there is no need to transfer the outbreak of negative emotions to others - it is better to retire and calm down, let go of the situation;
  • you need to learn love from others, live a full life, enjoy an interesting book or film, laugh at a good joke, give gifts, and soon the world will reciprocate;
  • you have to try to let go and do what you always wanted to do, like go on a trip, or go skydiving.

Knowing how to accept yourself, you will be able to learn to love, forgive and see yourself and the world as they are. As a result, you can safely look to the future. It will be beautiful and will give kindness and recognition in return.

People need to love and respect themselves. It's not about selfishness or selfishness. To love yourself means to believe in the power of your spirit. A person who is satisfied with himself knows that he has a goal and tries in every possible way to achieve it. Accepting all your pluses and minuses, making friends with yourself is not so easy as it seems at first glance. To do this, you need to achieve harmony. It is she who will fill human life with happiness. Learn the advice of a psychologist on how to start loving and respecting yourself. If you are ready to work on yourself and change, then go ahead!

What does it mean to love yourself?

If a person loves himself, then he is comfortable alone with himself and in company. He is confident in his abilities, he makes all decisions independently. Such a person knows which path to follow, respects his mistakes.

First, take a look at yourself. Treat yourself like a good friend. Don't know how to start loving yourself? It's not that hard. First, on a piece of paper, make a list of what you call love. Some of the items on this list are:

  • take care of yourself;
  • to please yourself with little things;
  • calm in difficult situations;
  • strive for spiritual and professional growth;
  • do not deprive yourself of praise.

Doing the above is very important. Additionally, you can remember about a healthy lifestyle, appearance. Proper nutrition, active rest, sufficient care of the body, hair, teeth make a person attractive and increase his self-esteem.

Your level of self-esteem

Where to start self-esteem, how to start loving yourself? The advice of psychologists is aimed at performing one simple exercise. To do this, you will need a blank sheet of paper and a pen. Draw a line from one corner of the sheet to the other. After that, put a point on it that would be associated with your vision of yourself. The interpretation of the results of such a test is as follows:

  • If you put a mark close to the middle of the line, then you have an optimal level of self-esteem. You clearly love yourself, but consider the opinions of others.
  • If you were inspired to put a dot on top of the line, then you have too high self-esteem. You don't just love, you adore yourself. Do not forget about the feelings of others.
  • The dot you put at the bottom of the line indicates an underestimation. You listen too much to the opinions of others, you almost do not value yourself.

The last test result stimulates to change this situation. How to start loving yourself again? Read on to find out some practical advice from psychologists.

Negativity and criticism are the worst enemies

Everyone has heard that thoughts are material. It is very important to think positively. Catch yourself on every negative thought, switch to the right track. How to do it? Here are some psychologists' tips:

  1. Don't be selfish, stop criticizing yourself. All people make mistakes, so respect yourself and accept with all the shortcomings.
  2. Let go of all past gaps and grievances, forgive everyone, including yourself. Analyze all your mistakes and learn from it.
  3. Think positively about yourself. Focus on the positives to cultivate and develop them. Feel like a kind and positive person, even with small flaws.
  4. Be responsible for everything that happens to you, do not blame anyone for anything. Learn to control your perception. Remember, the choice is always yours, any situation can be changed. Your life is in your hands!

You need to change your thinking gradually, do not boil over. If you were a big self-critic, then it will take time for you to become a self-sufficient person.

Change theory with practice

It is not enough to have theoretical information, do not forget about the practical direction. To do this, psychologists recommend performing very interesting exercises that will help you perceive yourself as a whole.

1. "Reflect on yourself".

Answer the following questions honestly:

  • Who you are? (Specify gender, age, profession and type of activity).
  • What are you satisfied and dissatisfied with about yourself?
  • Do you have any achievements worthy of pride?
  • What are you striving for?
  • What are your best skills?
  • What do people see good and bad in you?
  • Reasons for your failures?

This exercise leads to self-knowledge, will help to determine all the pros and cons.

2. "Advantages and disadvantages".

Take a pen and a blank sheet of paper. Draw a vertical line down the middle of it. Write down your strengths on one side and your weaknesses on the other. Read all the information provided carefully. Then tear off half of the sheet with the listed minuses, wrinkle and discard. Try to re-read the saved piece with merits as often as possible. If suddenly there are additions, then feel free to include them to your pluses. You can record even the smallest victories. Over time, self-love will begin to develop.

3. "I'm not the same as yesterday."

Don't put yourself in opposition to other people. Notice all the good and bad behind you, fix it. In the evening, check your notes and compare with the previous ones, analyze. If you yourself notice the dynamics of changes, then this will be a great stimulation. Respect yourself, confess to yourself in love!

Daily work on yourself

If you want to learn the philosophy of how to start loving yourself, then remember the regularity of your actions. After waking up and at night, mentally wish yourself well. Start the day with a greeting, praise yourself, wish good night. Such a simple ritual will accustom your mind to a positive attitude towards your personality. Soon you will not notice how you begin to love yourself.

Try talking to your reflection in the mirror. Smile, say a few commendable phrases addressed to you. Women can imagine themselves as the heroine of the film "The most charming and attractive." Say approving phrases: "I like myself, I'm attractive and sweet, men like me." After a while, you will notice the effectiveness of this exercise.

Do not forget about small gifts and surprises. It can be some kind of accessory, cosmetic or wardrobe item. Don't forget to take care of your body. Exercise, eat right. A beautiful body is another reason to be proud of yourself.

Basic steps to get rid of insecurity

So, after learning how to start loving yourself, follow these steps:


Get rid of the role of the victim and learn to forgive

Happiness is within you. Some problems from a distant childhood do not allow a person to learn how to start loving and respecting themselves. The advice of psychologists only proves that sometimes parents, in their desire to raise a well-mannered person, humiliate and offend their child. This does not mean that you need to keep the offense for life.

The highest degree of humanity is forgiveness. Forgive everyone, including yourself. Know that in some cases people are driven by fear and ignorance. If you are tormented by resentment and pain, then forgive the offenders mentally. Let go of the situation. It is impossible to correct the mistakes of the past, try to make your future happy.

Self love and selfishness: what's the difference?

Many people confuse self-love and self-respect with selfishness. On the contrary, if you don't love yourself, you won't love others. To increase self-esteem and not step over the line of selfishness, remember the following tips:

  • People are not perfect, everyone can make mistakes, do not demand too much from others.
  • Be frank with your neighbors, express your wishes and disagreements.
  • Consider the opinions of others, but always have your own point of view.
  • Accept people as they are, don't try to change them.

Always remember that change takes time. Start your journey with small steps to reach your goal!

Books "How to start loving yourself?"

There are a lot of books that will help you auto-train and feel happy. Many have been guided by the great book How to Stop Worrying and Start Living. It helps to increase self-esteem and self-confidence, fight shyness and indecision. The main postulate of this book: "Love yourself - and life will love you"!

Many are familiar with the books of the famous doctor Kurpatov. One of them is called "12 non-trivial decisions. Find peace in your soul." She gives a lot of practical and useful advice about being with all the flaws.

Louise Hay devoted more than 30 books to psychology. One of them is "Love yourself. Trust your life." The author has formulated 10 ways to become happy.

Many have heard about family psychologist Mikhail Labkovsky, who is the most expensive and sought-after specialist in Moscow. He has a book "Love yourself with any appearance." The author gives a lot of advice about increasing self-esteem. All these works are united by one important piece of advice - you must feel your importance!

Harmony is what makes human life happy. But you can achieve a harmonious and fulfilling life only if you love yourself for who you are, accept and make friends with yourself.

Many people think that to love yourself means to become selfish. However, a negative attitude towards one's personality leads to an inadequate level of self-esteem, constant reproaches and criticism against oneself, dissatisfaction with oneself, and the surrounding people begin to treat the person the same way.

Learning to value and respect yourself means to become successful and happy. This becomes an occasion to change something, to learn how to love yourself. But the advice of a psychologist will be useful only if you are ready to work on yourself and change.

“Pamper yourself like the person you love” is advice from Louise Hay, author of many well-known books on popular psychology. And this recommendation of a psychologist can be considered the first step in achieving the goal - to learn to appreciate, love and respect yourself, to accept your personality.

Before you start actively developing the ability to value yourself, do one simple exercise. Take a sheet of paper and draw a vertical slanted line on it. Put a dot in the place on the line where you would put yourself. Results:

  1. A dot in the middle (or near) means the optimal level of self-esteem. Such a person loves himself, but does not forget about others.
  2. A dot at the top of the line indicates an overestimated level of self-esteem. Such people adore themselves and sometimes forget about the feelings of others.
  3. A dot at the bottom of the line indicates low self-esteem. Self-love is alien to such people, the opinions and feelings of others are valued by them more than their own.

If you got the last result, but want to change it, then the advice of psychologists on how to learn to truly love and respect yourself can help you.

The value of one's own personality: theoretical foundations

Self love begins with thoughts. That is why it is very important to follow the tips:

  • Stop looking for negativity in yourself, to criticize. Every person has flaws - you need to learn to respect yourself, to accept yourself as you are.
  • Get rid of negative/frightening thoughts. Such thinking only poisons life. Try to catch yourself on them and immediately slow down, switching to something positive.
  • Let go of the past and forgive yourself. Everyone makes mistakes: learn to analyze your own, learn from them and forget.
  • Think positively about yourself. Focus on your own positive aspects, cultivate and develop them. Get used to thinking of yourself as a kind and very positive person, albeit with a few flaws.
  • Take responsibility for everything that happens in life. According to the psychologist, everything that happens depends on our perception. Look at the world and yourself positively, remember that it is in your power to change the situation, and it is you who are responsible for what is happening to you here and now. Take your life into your own hands.

Changing your mindset is difficult, but achievable. The main thing to remember is that this is a long and drawn out process. If you have spent your entire life criticizing and blaming yourself, it is unlikely that you will quickly learn to love and respect yourself.

Practical exercises

Practice is the best helper to change theory. There are several exercises by which you can learn to love and appreciate yourself, to accept your personality in its entirety.

Exercise 1. Become aware of yourself

To learn not only to love yourself, but also to appreciate, you must first realize yourself. Try to honestly answer the following questions (you can do this mentally):

  1. Who am I? (Gender, age, profession, field of activity, etc.).
  2. What do I like/dislike about myself?
  3. Why can I be proud of myself?
  4. What are my aspirations?
  5. What do I do best?
  6. What kind of people do you like/dislike?
  7. What do others like/dislike about me?
  8. What can't I do, why?

This exercise will allow you to better understand and know yourself, learn to identify your own strengths / weaknesses.

Exercise 2. Pros/Cons

Take a piece of paper and draw it into two equal columns. In one list all your pluses, in the other - minuses.

After listing all the pros / cons that you managed to remember, carefully reread them. Tear off the part of the sheet where the negative sides are marked and tear it. Keep a sheet of pluses and read them daily. Add new positives as you remember or acquire them. Point out even the smallest of your virtues. This will make it much easier for you to love yourself.

Exercise 3. Me yesterday and today

Don't compare yourself to other people. Learn to notice your positive and negative actions, write them down daily. Every evening, compare yesterday's entries with today's and note the positive changes. Continue the exercise until the dynamics of change begins to satisfy you, you begin to respect yourself.


Actions to be done daily

If you are determined to learn the science of how to love yourself and accept your true self, make it a rule to regularly follow some simple tips.

  • When you wake up and before going to bed, say warm words. Start every morning with words of greeting to yourself and praise, and end the day with the wish of sweet dreams and approval. It sounds trite, but with the help of such a simple ritual, you will accustom your subconscious to a positive attitude towards your "I". So, soon you will be able to love yourself for real.
  • Chat with your reflection. Standing at the mirror, be sure to smile, say out loud the words of approval, praise, praise of some qualities.
  • Come up with an affirmation. Remember the heroine of the film "The most charming and attractive." A saying from this film (“I am the best. From me all men are crazy about me ...”) or any other, the words of which can encourage you, inspire confidence, will help you learn to respect and appreciate, love yourself. P.S. Say these words to yourself, even if you don't think they are true at the moment. When you believe in what you say, after a while you will notice that they began to reflect reality.
  • Try to please yourself as often as possible. Remember what brought you pleasure in childhood or the recent past, realize what can bring you joy now. At every opportunity, try to do it, pamper, give small and big joys.
  • Take care of your body. Engage in any kind of physical activity, watch your diet. When you do not experience physical discomfort, it will become much easier to love yourself.

How to respect and appreciate your personality and not become selfish

Many are afraid to appreciate and respect themselves, because they believe that they will stop thinking and considering others. Loving yourself does not mean becoming selfish. It's impossible to love others if you don't love yourself. To make self-esteem optimal, but at the same time not go over the line of selfishness, remember:

  • Everyone has the right to make a mistake. No one is perfect - allow yourself and others to make mistakes.
  • No one owes nothing to nobody. Do not demand from others what they cannot give you, are not able to.
  • You need to be frank with others. Talk about what kind of attitude you expect from yourself, do not allow a discrepancy between your words and actions.
  • Others are entitled to their opinion. Consider the opinions of others, but do not forget your own.
  • You need to accept people for who they are. Each of us has flaws - do not try to change others.

Psychologist's advice on how to accept and love yourself is only the beginning of the path that you have to go through to achieve your goal. The main thing to remember is that nothing is impossible, but any change takes time.

To love yourself means to be able to come to inner harmony in the soul. One can cite signs that testify to a clear lack of love for one's humble person. For example, guilt for no reason, thoughts about the imperfection of your body, inability to accept compliments, frequent recollection of past failures. All these points indicate that a person needs to be corrected with positive emotions and then the world will shine with bright colors, the reflection in the mirror will become more pleasant, and life will be much easier!

How to learn to love yourself - no one is perfect

If you turn around, look closely, everything will become clear. It's time to come to terms with the shortcomings, talk with the hated reflection in the mirror, stop complexing about appearance, because sports, cosmetics have not corrected it yet, the main thing here is desire and correct introspection!

How to learn to love yourself - fun

To disperse the life boredom that has gathered over your head. But for this you need to understand why it appears. That fault: emotional satiety or lack of purpose. Satiation requires changing the main activity (work) and entertainment, and setting a goal through the discovery of an interesting hobby. Bad mood gives rise to depression, which is not conducive to self-esteem. There are a lot of options: team sports games, watching movies in the cinema, traveling!

How to learn to love yourself - generosity

Replace greed with generosity. Money stinginess leads to the rejection of entertainment, saving on necessary things, buying low-quality products. In society, a mean person is ridiculed and not accepted. How to overcome greed: opposites - buy what you want, increase the overall cost of living, do not save on cafeterias, spend money more often for the soul.

How to learn to love yourself - trust

Overcome jealousy of a loved one! Love is a wonderful feeling, which is sometimes overshadowed by unreasonable jealousy. Essential concepts: the second half is not property, and insecurity in a relationship is a manifestation of self-doubt, low self-esteem. As a result, work always begins individually.

How to learn to love yourself - mistakes of the past

This paragraph means to forgive all your mistakes, wrong deeds, devouring from the inside, to which a person constantly returns and remembers, thinks how it was possible to change the situation. Make the right conclusions and part with the burden, because all people make mistakes. But when it just doesn’t work out that way, there is guilt before a specific person, they try to ask for forgiveness, if the situation requires.

How to learn to love yourself - passion for sports

It has long been proven that sports increase self-esteem, and also act instead of a psychologist. This is an excellent tool to restore physical fitness, if strength and harmony are long in the past. After training, the mood improves, pleasant fatigue appears. Movement is necessary for every person, it improves stress resistance, which helps with low self-esteem, when the soul is shaken.

How to learn to love yourself - gifts

Rejoice at forbidden cakes, buy good books, finally allow yourself to be taken home, if the gentleman suggests itself, stay late at the festivities. Also reciprocate life's gifts - give at least smiles in return!

How to learn to love yourself - praise

Moderate criticism takes place, but not hypnotic self-flagellation. It is important to love yourself and try to mentally praise yourself for the simplest actions. For example, waking up for work earlier than usual, taking out the trash without waiting for the end of the week. For praise, you do not need to pretend and praise only for real work done by yourself. In favor, do not overdo it, for everything should be in moderation. Strong feelings for reflection in the mirror is already narcissism.

Harmony with the planet is an absolute indicator of the desire to strive for life, to be an active person, to think positively. Everything is always good, here and now - to repeat every time something wrong happened. After all, problems are solved only with positive sources of thinking. Negative mood closes sincere contact with the outside world, and this is a reflection of oneself. Change will come if you put in the effort!

  1. All it takes to have love is to be love.
  2. Love does not require conditions.
  3. This experience is absolute and perfect.

Let us examine in detail the question of how to develop self-love.

What is this term often confused with?

This concept has nothing to do with narcissism!

True self love is a natural and modest sense of self that you accept in yourself.

There is no pressure or effort involved.

Having this feeling:

  • you are in harmony with yourself;
  • you walk the world easily;
  • feel confident in any situation;
  • respect everything you do and everything you say.

It's such a down to earth and natural feeling.

Let's figure out where to start in order to love yourself completely and completely. Consider all 19 ways.

1. Realize that no one and nothing external will complete you, you are already self-sufficient

2. Accept yourself completely

Accept yourself the way you are

Love yourself in any manifestation and expression, in any verbal and non-verbal expression.

  1. Love all your mistakes you made in the past.
    This is important because people often judge themselves, hate themselves and despise themselves for the things that have been done in the past.
  2. At that moment in time and with that knowledge, that action was the most correct for you. Realize that you did those actions in the past that led to mistakes, because you thought at that moment that they would be the most correct for you.
    Of course, then you admit the mistake, but you love yourself with these mistakes and accept them.
  3. Thanks to your mistakes, you are where you are now..
    They made you stronger and stronger. Implement this knowledge and no longer worry about how to learn to love and respect yourself.

When you no longer associate the word "acceptance" with weakness, you begin to live with an ease and calmness that you have never seen before.

Accept all your flaws and love yourself with them: there is what is

Mantra for all occasions: “There is what is. And that's okay."

Example. I screwed up in front of people yesterday, I couldn't make a presentation and didn't prepare.

There is what is, and that's okay.

Use this phrase as practical advice on how to love yourself and stop self-flagellation.

What is the fine line which many people forget:

  • This does not mean that you have now resigned yourself to the fact that you are a dull and boring creature and now you are always lying on the couch and doing nothing! No.
  • You still strive to be the best version of yourself.
  • You just don't judge yourself for your shortcomings.

3. You don't need a reason to love yourself.

You are self-sufficient and should love yourself for no reason.

If you are looking for reasons to love yourself, then love will not be complete and whole, and doubts and reasons for the opposite immediately appear in your head. You don't need a reason.

As soon as you start thinking: “I love myself because…”, there are immediately reasons not to love yourself!

If you are looking for reasons to love yourself, you find reasons to doubt!

You love yourself, period. Without a reason.

You are already self-sufficient and there is no reason to be otherwise.

Thanks to this realization, you will know everything about how to love yourself and increase self-esteem for a woman or a man.

4. Stop putting people on pedestals and realize that everyone is equal

No one is better or worse than you.

Stop comparing yourself to other people and undermine your self-esteem.

Otherwise, you will get into an endless race with yourself and you will never solve your questions about how to love yourself and be a self-confident person.

Get out from under the influence of social programming. Be aware that.

Make a choice and allow yourself to be equal with everyone and experience inner lightness.

5. Never compare yourself to others

Comparing oneself to others always causes a feeling of lack of self-sufficiency and condemnation of oneself.

Never chase after others and do not strive to be what you are not!

Example. You look at your neighbor, how he lives successfully and how his business is flourishing, you compare it with your state of affairs, and you upset yourself and are loaded because of this comparison.

Comparing yourself to others gets in the way of self-acceptance.

You cannot be what you are not. You can't live someone else's life. No matter how hard you try, you'll be able to be a cheaper, duller version of the person you're chasing!

The best thing you can do is be yourself.

Don't try to be what you are not. Don't try to be like everyone else.

Be yourself and go beyond your limits, expand your comfort zone.

It often happens that unconscious girls compare themselves with each other. And as a result, then they are always competing with someone. It's like an endless wheel of suffering and chasing.

With this type of thinking, women's questions about how to love themselves and increase self-esteem in the psychology of perception will forever remain open.

With whom can you compare yourself?

The only person you should compare yourself to it's you yourself!

For example, what were you like yesterday and what are you today.

A fine line. Try to compare yourself with yourself NOT with regard to the results achieved, but with regard to the new knowledge and awareness received.

Ask yourself these questions daily:

  • What have I become wiser than yesterday and what have I learned new?
  • What lessons have I learned from today?
  • Am I out of my comfort zone today?

Only such a comparison with oneself has a place to be.

If the answer is no, then you remind yourself of what you need to work on and where to strive.

6. Respect your body and your mind

Consider the sixth advice of a psychologist on how to love yourself.

Respect for your body and mind means that you love yourself as a spiritual person who is able to think and be aware, and you love your healthy body and take care of it.

Respecting your body means living a healthy lifestyle

How to respect your body:

  1. Avoid alcohol, cigarettes and other harmful substances. You must love your body, and love for it is expressed by the fact that you do not stuff it with harmful smelling, alcoholic, inhaling things and do not undermine its health.
  2. Develop your body, go to the gym. Feel the pain of muscle growth when it comes to understanding that the muscles are using their full potential and you are using them correctly. It's fine.
  3. These feelings of developing the muscles of the body and eating the right food give you more confidence and lightness in the body. Appreciate your body for it.

People get drunk and live their lives this way because they hate themselves and don't know anything about how to learn to love and appreciate themselves.

Respect your mind and consciousness, do not stuff it with false information

What does this mean and how should it be implemented:

  1. You don't have to watch trash on TV.
  2. You need to think positively, have clear and distinct thoughts. Have pure thoughts. And then you will close your questions about .
  3. You remove all negative thoughts that only hinder progress.
  4. You need to develop your mind, explore new concepts, ideas, topics, look for better solutions.
  5. Let your mind rest.
  6. Meditate. You can read more about .
  7. Show him that you respect him.

The implementation of these principles will be one of the main trump cards that close the question of how to start loving yourself.

7. Remove the negative grumpy granny in yourself, judging other people and yourself

Why you need to stop judging others and yourself

This will also be the main advice of a psychologist on how to love yourself for a woman after 50 or an elderly man.

But, alas, this bad habit is also found among the younger generation.

An example of how judging others limits you

  1. For example, a man sings songs on the street with an accordion.
  2. And you and your friend go through and start throwing mud at him: “Here, Chaliapin was found, there is no voice, there is nothing to do, let him go to the circus,” etc.
  3. There comes a time when you already have to speak to people on the street and sing a song. But you begin to shake, you are tense and confidence is lost somewhere.
  4. It is this grouchy grandmother, judging others, that limits you in your actions.
  5. Never judge anyone. Both yourself and others.

The only thing you can blame yourself:

  • Have I done my best?
  • Did I do everything I could to get better?

8. If you don’t like something, then don’t endure it, act

You can verbally tell the person that you don't like it, or use facial expressions and gestures to show that you do not approve of it.

From childhood, your mother taught you to endure difficult situations and let them be.

It was the same at school. No need to be patient!

These are not necessarily words, they can be actions that stop what you do not like.

Example: The man smokes in the car. And you can't stand cigarette smoke and have never smoked. You immediately look for solutions to an unpleasant situation for you and say it out loud.

  • I suggest that the person get out of the car and smoke on the sidelines.
  • I'm talking about the fact that I can't stand the smell of cigarettes and I'm allergic.
  • I say that we will not be able to communicate with him until he stops smoking.

Implement this psychological technique and it will become easier to love yourself.

The more you solve unpleasant situations for you, the more love and respect for yourself will appear.

9. Have personal boundaries: what you accept in people and what you don't

Why it is important to have personal boundaries:

Example.

  • I don't like it when a man sits on my neck.
  • I do not like gossips, liars and hypocrites.
  • And so on.

Also write your preferences what you value and respect in people.

This way you will know what you want. You will know clear answers to questions from psychology about how to love and respect yourself.

10. When you achieve your goals, reward yourself in every possible way: for example, buy yourself sweets.

If you set a goal for yourself and realized it, please yourself with pleasant things.

How it helps you further:

  • Thus, unconsciously, you reinforce in your head that achieving goals is doubly pleasant and tastier.
  • There is more energy to achieve the goal.
  • Buying something for yourself, rewarding yourself for the result - emphasizes it, causes natural love for yourself for the efforts and efforts made.

For example, I like to buy sweets for myself: chocolates, cake. To whom to taste. It's always nice.

Implement this and you will no longer need the advice of a psychologist on how to start loving and respecting yourself.

11. Don't whine or let whiners cry into your waistcoat.

You are not a sponge and not a vest in which you can cry! Make it clear to everyone around you.

When you yourself whine next to people for life and for people, you simply show them that they can also do the same to you.

Whining does not solve the problem in any way!

You don’t want to love a whiner, you want to love a strong personality!

How to stop whiners:

  1. If the person next to you whines and complains about life, on people, pours out his soul to you and cries, ask him: “How will you solve your problem?”.
  2. If he keeps whining, then he's not going to solve anything.. This means that a person just wants to feel needed for you, pour out his soul to you, feel your empathy.
  3. Ask yourself: “Why do you need such people?”. Get rid of the whiners without a doubt, and you will already feel how you began to love yourself more for it.
  4. Get the whiners out of your social circle, and around you there will be a strong and healthy ecosystem of emotions and only strong personalities around. No whiner will drag you down.

12. You create all situations yourself: take responsibility for yourself and your actions

How to learn it with a piece of paper and a pen

Apply this effective method from psychology on the topic of learning to love yourself in practice.

An example with a situation where a man had a fight with a man on the street

How did the person bring the situation to this point:

  • I myself behaved too aggressively and emotionally.
  • I myself called names and provoked a man.
  • I could just leave at any moment.
  • I was looking for my own adventure.
  • I pushed the man first.
  • I myself attracted the negative that I had been accumulating for a long time.

13. Know your strengths and unique values, write them down and remember them.

Know exactly what value you have, what attractive characteristics and qualities.

If you don't know this, you won't be able to develop self-love and dealing with people will be harder.

For example, it's great if while communicating with people, you, without even straining, bring such things as:

Whoever you are you already have value, if only because you are unique.

Write down your unique qualities in writing and remember them. This will help to cope with restless thoughts about how to learn to love yourself as a woman or a man.

Answer the following questions in writing:

  1. What makes your personality attractive?
  2. What are your hobbies, interests, hobbies?
  3. What sensations do you give to people who are in your environment without trying and without making an effort?
  4. How deeply can you express your interesting personality when interacting with other people?
  5. How independent and free are you on the inside?

Values ​​are different for different people. As your personality develops, your values ​​may change.

Video on how to increase objective self-esteem

14. Trust yourself and your intentions more, act according to your desires

  1. Say what you want.
  2. If what you do comes from good intentions, trust them, do it and realize them!
  3. Whatever your desires and intentions, act according to them.

Don't be afraid to show yourself what others don't want you to see! Because this is your life and you live for yourself, and not for others!

The more you trust yourself and act on your desires, the more you live the life you want.

Examples of how people limit themselves in life because of the opinions of others:

  • Some people do not want to fully express themselves and their personality because they are afraid of offending other people.
  • Some people don't want to dance because they're afraid of getting looks of disapproval or bringing smiles to the faces of others.

You can read an article on how to ignore other people's opinions and get rid of shyness.

15. Be more interested in yourself, do introspection, strive to be your best self

How to learn to love yourself and be a confident person

Stick to these principles, and you will no longer worry about how to learn to love life and yourself.

Ask yourself the following questions:

  • What are your passions in this life?
  • What excites and excites you?
  • What kind of humor do you like?
  • What kind of music do you like?

16. Set yourself a big goal that will excite and keep you awake, and realize it

  1. Set yourself a goal that will excite you and keep you awake!
    Live this dream and make it a reality every day.
  2. The more you set a goal for yourself, the more energy you have in your body to implement it and make it a reality.
  3. If the goal is low and petty, then there will be so much energy.
  4. Thus, on the way to a big goal, you will live an interesting life., there will be respect for yourself and a feeling that you are growing, and not standing still.

Remember the importance of the goal and you will close your questions about how to learn to love yourself and become an interesting person.

17. It's Important to Love Other People: Don't Try to Change Them

It is important to love and accept people for who they are.

Be aware of these principles, reread them occasionally, and don't worry about how to love yourself and other people too.

18. You don't have to be a super perfect person.

Our society, mass media and television inspire perfectionism and the desire to be super-ideal and correct.

Allegedly, you should have an ideal body, education.

In fact, no one wants to be perfect and correct!

Replace this desire with the desire to fully accept and love yourself in any manifestation and expression.

People want to be themselves.

Allow yourself and others to be who they are.

In this way, you will know everything about how to accept yourself and love.

19. Do not forget to respect yourself and just look neat

Enough to conform to your idea of ​​what is normal

To be in pretentious cool places, it is absolutely not necessary to have super expensive clothes.

To do this, it is enough to look appropriate to your idea of ​​\u200b\u200bwhat is normal.

Well, it is desirable, of course, to find out in advance about the requirements of the institution and comply with them. If there are no special requirements, then there is no need to comply with anything.

  • It is very stupid to advise a person to always think positively.. This is tantamount to keeping in mind and forcibly clinging to some thoughts.
  • Any condition is temporary and impermanent.. For all people, the state changes and there is no point in forcing a person to depend on the state and constantly chase after it.
  • This does not mean that now you can be a vile evil grandmother. No.
  • You gotta love yourself no matter what state you're in. Be congruent with yourself and love yourself in any manifestation.

This is where all the advice ends. Now you know everything about how to love yourself correctly and correctly interpret this concept.

Wise words

Love is the absence of separation and boundaries between people. This is when you are dissolved and see yourself in every person.

Loving all people is much more beautiful than loving yourself alone or just your partner.