How to win over people

Each of us, at least once in our lives, has received a refusal in response to a request or listened to criticism addressed to us. But we all would like to be able to avoid such situations, right? This book will help you understand not only the intricacies of communication, but also teach you how to impress, maintain the influence and favor of others in both personal and business spheres. Farther

Why do some of us feel an inner tremor when speaking in front of an audience, while others fall into a stupor and not a single thought can escape the tongue in its original form? Why does the excitement before a performance make us forget about everything, and our hearts beat at the speed of light? How to deal with it and most importantly - how to win? The answers are in this book. Farther

Each of us has become a participant or even a source of conflict more than once. It is no secret that conflict can have both positive and negative consequences. And it is very difficult to predict its influence in advance. But this process can and should be managed. You will learn all about the nature of conflicts, learn how to find their source and solution, while improving relationships. Farther

Our life is constantly flowing and changing. But are we always ready to accept change? Very often people are afraid of change and find it more of a threat than an opportunity. But change is one of the main sources of development, something that no success story can do without. This book will help you learn to overcome your fear, use and even initiate them. Farther

Have you ever counted how much time and effort you spent gathering your courage before any important meeting or call? How many times did you edit your resume before sending it to where you would really like to work? Where does this concern come from? How to deal with it? You will find answers to these and many other questions in this book. Farther

All human society is built on interaction. The result of our work and, as a result, the standard of living depends on the quality of this interaction. This book will help you master the science of effective communication. Laconically and simply presented material will make it easy to remember and start applying these simple rules not only in everyday life, but also in business. Farther

We all want to become more successful in life or business, but for this it is important to be able to negotiate, get what we want and turn the most indifferent opponents into friends. Achieve your goals and maintain influence, learn to do it easily and effectively. Use the knowledge and tools of this book, its practical advice and recommendations, their effectiveness is proven by experience.

"Believe that you will succeed - and you will succeed" - this is the main principle that the famous American orator Dale Carnegie adhered to all his life.

November 24, 1888 in a poor family of a farmer in the small town of Maryville, Missouri, a boy is born, who was named Dale. From childhood, an energetic little boy differs from his peers in his special restlessness, curiosity and sociability. Teachers at school distinguish him from the rest of the guys and prophesy him a successful life.

However, after graduating from school, Dale has to work for some time as a messenger in Nebraska, try himself as an actor in New York, but he still can’t find himself. Assessing his strength, he decides to get an education in order to closely engage in oratory. Parents do not spare all their savings, and soon a talented young man enters the Warrensburg Pedagogical College.

In college, a young student has a hard time. At that time, only wealthy people could afford education, and only 1% of the students were children from poor families, including Dale. The young man has to get up at dawn, help his father on the farm, and ride the old mare for six miles to college, since the family cannot afford to buy a bicycle or rent somewhere near the college.

In college, he is ashamed of his poverty, feels his insecurity, he even has thoughts of committing suicide, but having hidden all his complexes deeply, the young student begins to attend a circle on oratory. He practices his speech everywhere - on the farm he talks with cows, sheep, with a horse on the way to study. The young man in a short time achieves such professionalism in oratory that over time he becomes a repeater for other students.

After graduating from college, the young teacher decides to teach neighboring farmers the art of oratory, and again life gives him another slap in the face - there were no ordinary farmers willing to study, and the young man again falls into depression.

After swallowing another setback, he travels to Omaha and gets a job selling bacon, soap, and lard. In between work, he manages to write a book on how to properly communicate with people, but for all the time there was only one buyer. Having earned $ 500, Dale opens his own school of oratory, and then real success comes to him - Carnegie becomes incredibly popular! He lectures, travels around the country, writes essays on various topics, even writes his own column in the advice section of one newspaper. His fees are growing every day, and invitations are flying from all over America.

In 1936, his most famous book, How to Win Friends and Influence People, was published. The book contains useful tips on how to learn how to make a good impression on others and win their sympathy. The book is written so easily and interestingly that in less than a year more than a million copies were sold. This book is one of the most successful world bestsellers.

In 1948, another equally successful book, How to Stop Worrying and Start Living, comes out, in which you will find many tips for dealing with stress and anxiety, as well as for improving life.

Dale Carnegie instantly turns into a megastar. He gives advice to everyone on a wide variety of issues: businessmen - how to do business better, farmers - about agriculture, ordinary women, men - about relationships.

Now success accompanies him everywhere, which can not be said about his personal life. The first marriage breaks up, the second marriage does not bring much happiness.

On November 1, 1955, the great orator, psychologist and writer commits suicide, preventing Hodgkin's disease (a malignant disease of the lymphoid tissue), which tormented him during the last years of his life, from doing so.

His creations are incredibly popular to this day!

Biography by dates and interesting facts. The most important thing.

Everyone has probably heard the name Dale Carnegie more than once. He is often quoted, cited as an example of how he achieved a high level of well-being due to the ability to communicate with others. We invite you to get to know and find out who Dale Carnegie is.

How it all began?

The famous teacher and practicing psychologist spent his childhood in great need. The biography of Dale Carnegie began in 1888 in a family that earned a living by hard farm work. Thanks to his parents, the young man managed to get a good education.

While studying at the State Teachers College, Carnegie also worked on the farm, managing the household. Hard work, constant need and bad clothes did not give the guy the opportunity to feel on a par with his peers. Watching classmates, Carnegie Dale noticed that established and influential students attracted everyone's attention in two ways. Some stood out due to good physical shape and athletic achievements, while others achieved success through oratory.

Young Carnegie did not belong to the category of sports people, so he decided to start his development by taking part in a student discussion circle. It turned out that he had a great talent as a rhetorician. Very quickly, the young man began to win in all public disputes, which won the attention and respect of college students. It is likely that it was then that the future eminent psychologist made his first practical conclusion that eloquence can quickly make a person famous.

The first book is a failure

After graduating from Carnegie College, Dale walked a very long and slow path to his success. He continued to work long and hard, becoming He went from house to house, offering to buy food. In this case, Carnegie's oratorical skills were very useful. He praised his product so convincingly that he began to make good money on it.

The young speaker began to put his practical skills on paper, trying to create a collection of useful tips on the ability to communicate correctly with people around him. However, the pamphlet he wrote, "Oratory and Influencing Business Partners," was not successful with people.

And here comes the victory

Luck smiled at the young writer only in the mid-twenties, when a severe crisis hit the country, followed by the "Great Depression". Dale Carnegie's advice was very useful to those who lost their former success and found themselves on the verge of poverty. An inexpensive book with practical recommendations on how to solve problems by properly building relationships with others has become unexpectedly popular.

To draw attention to his publication, the young psychologist carried out a successful publicity stunt by slightly changing the spelling of his last name. Now it has become consonant with the name of the famous American millionaire Andrew Carnegie. In addition, in the book, a famous person was cited as a good role model. All efforts led to the fact that in the first year of sales of the Carnegie book, Dale managed to earn one and a half hundred thousand dollars.

Forward to triumph

He became very popular, numerous lectures gathered full houses. Carnegie opened his own courses In the classroom, he not only taught students to speak correctly and beautifully, he promised great fame in business, as well as in strengthening family and friendships.

Dale Carnegie conscientiously studied the numerous works of famous scientists, reread the Bible, delved into the details of the lives of famous people. So, step by step, he created a mechanism of action, which, in his opinion, must necessarily lead to the success of any person. He developed a course of psychological studies aimed at learning the skills of proper communication, self-development and teaching the ability to conduct public speaking.

Family life

Since then, the name Carnegie has become associated among all Americans with the image of a successful and confident entrepreneur who managed to become happy of his own free will. Was Dale Carnegie really like that? Photos of the writer, invariably present on the covers of all his books, assure readers that they are in front of an absolutely accomplished person. However, the family life of a psychologist does not confirm this.

The details of Carnegie's first marriage were carefully concealed from the public. Ten years of marriage with Lolita Boker were filled with misunderstanding, contradictions and daily scandals. The marriage was doomed, but it was during this period that Carnegie's new book, How to Win Friends and Influence People, was being prepared for publication, containing seven psychological guidelines for a happy family life. The disclosure of details about a failed personal life could cause obvious harm to a bestseller.

The second marriage was more stable, which is not surprising, because Dorothy, a diligent student of his courses, became Carnegie's wife. She turned out to be a very enterprising lady and took the financial management of her husband's affairs in her gentle hands. Dorothy managed to turn Carnegie's theoretical calculations into a profitable business and even wrote a book herself on how to help her husband become a successful businessman.

Exodus of life

Carnegie himself gradually retired and enjoyed life by gardening. The name he had made famous now worked for him. The result of Carnegie's many years of activity was the "Institute for Effective Oratory and Human Relations." Across the country in every state, its branches successfully operated. Numerous students and followers taught and lectured there.

No one still knows exactly how Dale Carnegie died. His death in 1955 went unnoticed by the general public. There were rumors that he committed suicide by shooting himself in the forehead. The official version says that death occurred as a result of the development of a severe malignant disease.

Achieving success is hard work

Carnegie explained his theory so talentedly, using simple words and examples, that absolutely all listeners sincerely admired him. People believed in his theory because it proved to be true in practice.

During his life, Dale Carnegie wrote a number of books that have become a reference tool for many wealthy and enterprising people. The secret of their achievements lies in the fact that the simple truths that Carnegie spoke about, they tirelessly. The great art of communication requires constant work of the soul and body, this is hard and daily work. Unfortunately, most people prefer to spend their lives on other things, which is probably why few people achieve true recognition.

The genius of human souls?

So what is the secret of success and worldwide fame of a famous publicist? In reality, Carnegie did not make any scientific discovery. He only skillfully took advantage of other people's scientific achievements in the field of psychology, managing to combine useful information into his own theory and sell it correctly to consumers.

There are no bad people, only bad circumstances, and they must be fought - this is the principle that Dale Carnegie has always preached. the author has long become commonplace, turning into useful advice. Some of them have become real mottos, which are successfully applied in numerous trainings on successful business.

Today, his name is known to those people who are engaged in self-improvement and personal growth. Almost all books and teachers have become world bestsellers and remain so to this day.

Friends Day has been celebrated annually on November 24 in America for many years. It is no coincidence that the date of the celebration is timed to coincide with the birthday of Dale Carnegie. Everyone should know the lessons of success from a great man.

Dale Carnegie, the most famous author in the field of communication, self-improvement and public speaking technology, was born into a poor family on a small farm in Maryville, northwest Missouri on November 22, 1888. The farm of the parents, James William and his wife Amanda Elizabeth Harbison, was so far from large settlements that until adolescence, Dale did not even see trains. Farm life was solitary, but it was able to become the first life lesson, saying that you need to work hard in order to achieve something. Even as a child, Dale had to get up at 3:30 in the morning to milk the cow and do other necessary work.

Start date

Starting at Warrensburg Teachers College, he had to commute home every day after school because his family couldn't pay a dollar a day for a dorm room and food. However, a certain superiority compared to most of the inhabitants of the campus was undeniable. The ambitious Carnegie student was not gifted in sports, but he quickly realized that he could, unlike others, stand up and start talking with enthusiasm and enthusiasm. He joined the school's discussion group, but walked around in shabby clothes and shunned fellow students. He felt that his oratorical skills could eradicate his feelings of inferiority. Carnegie left the college in 1908, failing his Latin exam, never earning a bachelor's degree.

After working in various fields, from a salesman to a tutor, Carnegie began studying at the American Academy of Dramatic Arts in New York, but dropped out in 1911, realizing that he could use his speaking skills to launch his own career.

Career takeoff

At that time, Dale was unemployed, almost despaired and lived in a Christian mission. It was there that he came up with the idea of ​​teaching public speaking. He persuaded the leadership of the organization to allow its members to be instructed in exchange for 80% of the proceeds. He began teaching public speaking techniques at a Christian youth organization in New York City. Exhausted, Dale began to improvise, inviting students to discuss their personal negative experiences. Surprisingly, this technique of communication overcame many fearing to appeal to a wide audience. Since that time, Dale Carnegie's course began to develop. His classes were very popular, which prompted him to hold similar lectures in other major cities. Persuading every listener to gain more self-confidence by 1914, he earned 500 a week.

In 1915, together with the lecturer and writer Joseph Berg Esenwein, Carnegie wrote the book The Art of Public Speaking. The following year, during a meeting with admirers at New York's Carnegie Hall, he changed the spelling of his name to the usual "Carnegie", in honor of the famous industrialist and philanthropist Andrew Carnegie, who donated funds to build the building.

During World War I, Carnegie served in the US Army. After being fired, he continued his career. Large corporations, including General Motors and IBM, sent their employees to courses to help them become more confident and successful people.

In the midst of the Great Depression, Carnegie published How to Win Friends and Influence People, which instantly topped the bestseller list and held the position for decades. Along with popularity, came worldwide fame, and with them financial success. The message of the book was simple: be considerate, show genuine interest in others, be a good listener, consider other points of view, cooperate with others, be positive, and not criticize others. This was followed by another book, How to Stop Worrying and Start Living, first published in 1948.

Personal life of a lecturer-motivator

While in Europe, Dale began dating and subsequently married Lolita Bowker in 1921. The childless marriage was unhappy and the couple divorced in 1931. On November 5, 1944, Carnegie married Dorothy Vanderpool, his former secretary. In 1951, the couple's only child, Donna Dale Carnegie, was born. Dale Carnegie died of granuloma maligna and kidney failure on November 1, 1955 in New York City. He is buried in Belton Missouri Cemetery.

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Dale Breckenridge Carnegie (1888-1955) was an American psychologist, lecturer, educator, writer, and motivational speaker. Considered one of the founders of the theory of communication, he applied scientific psychological developments in practice, created his own theory of conflict-free communication. He was the founder of self-improvement courses. He taught lectures on effective communication skills.

Childhood

His mother, Harbison Amanda Elizabeth, taught at the school.
Dad, James William Carnegie, was a farmer. Only the farm was so impoverished, and the family simple and poor, that from childhood Dale had memories of how they dragged out a beggarly existence.

Despite the fact that Dale was still just a child, he worked tirelessly with his father and older brother. The boy had to get up at three in the morning to milk the frail cows. However, farming was still going badly. Almost every year, crops died from water, and pigs died from various infections.

When the boy was fourteen years old, he first got galoshes. He appreciated this moment and remembered for a long time how great it is: there is bad weather around, and you have dry feet. One holiday, dad gave Dale ten cents, and the child then pretended to be the owner of the treasure that the Indians were chasing in books.

Studies

Despite poverty, Dale received a good education.

Already at school, teachers noticed that Carnegie was very sociable. At an early age, Dale also showed his oratorical abilities, with classmates he always correctly and calmly led discussions. The boy liked to communicate and speak in public, while he always tried to defend his point of view.

After high school, Carnegie continued his studies at Teachers College in Warrensburg. Here he had to experience the first complexes. College education was free, but the family did not even have the funds to buy Dale a new jacket and pants. In addition, among the six hundred people who studied at the college, only six could not afford to rent an apartment. Carnegie was one of them, he lived at home, and every day he traveled to school on horseback, galloping six miles back and forth.

The complexes that appeared led to the fact that the guy kept apart from the students. First, he was ashamed of the plight of shabby clothes, tight jacket and short trousers. Secondly, he simply did not have time to communicate with classmates. After all, he even opened textbooks in those short minutes that he had in between hard physical work on the farm. Thirdly, as a teenager, Dale was not distinguished by charm, was awkward, embarrassed that he did not have an index finger on his left hand, he lost it while working on a farm.

Carnegie observed his fellow students and came to the conclusion that two types of students are especially respected - those who play sports (baseball players and football players), and those who participate in various discussions. Dale did not have special athletic abilities and an athletic physique, therefore, in order to overcome his complexes, the guy enrolled in college in a discussion circle. Very quickly, he became so good at rhetoric that entire queues of students lined up to hear how the farm boy hangs noodles on his ears and wins in verbal skirmishes.

Carnegie plunged headlong into a new occupation, which he liked. He honed his oratory, even when he was riding a horse. He practiced eloquence while working in the barn or before going to bed in the hayloft, gesticulated, rehearsed, and replayed his speeches several times in his head.

He spoke very well at the meetings of the discussion circle, Dale became confident in himself and got rid of low self-esteem. And at some point, the guy felt that he was waiting for great success in the oratorical field. After a year of classes, the young Carnegie won all competitions related to public speaking. And many fellow students began to turn to him for help, asked to work with them.

But in 1908, Dale failed his Latin exam and decided to drop out of college. From this he was not a bit upset, because he had long understood: he did not want to connect his life with teaching.

Long road to success

Carnegie began his career by trying to organize distance learning courses for ranchers scattered for miles among the sandy hills. The idea inspired him greatly, but did not bring success: among the villages of Eastern Wyomingo and Western Nebraska there was simply no stable flow of customers.

Having suffered the first failure, Carnegie burst into tears. But this momentary weakness quickly passed, it was necessary to think about how to live on.

Dale went to Omaha to look for some other work for himself. He had no money for a ticket, and then Carnegie hired himself in boxcars to water and feed wild horses. So he drove to South Omaha, where he got a job at Armer and Company.

As a sales agent, the young man sold soap, butter, bacon and lard. The sales area was quite extensive, reaching into the badlands of South Dakota. He had to travel a lot on horseback, in post stagecoaches, and in freight trains. Dale visited thousands of homes, because his salary directly depended on how well he advertised products and how much he could sell.

He communicated with people, watched them, made certain conclusions, and at night he wrote it all down. This is how Dale Carnegie's first pamphlet appeared - a collection of useful tips. It was published, but only two copies were sold.

Dale decided to move to New York. Here he got a job in a truck sales company. Trying to save money, Carnegie lived in cheap rented housing, where hordes of cockroaches ran, ate in dirty canteens. Gradually, he began to hate everything he does and everything that surrounds him. Indeed, as a student, he did not dream of such a life at all. The hateful work took all his strength, and most importantly, Dale did not have extra hours to read or write.

He was no stranger to living in poverty, therefore, dragging out a meager existence, Carnegie was still able to save money and set aside five hundred dollars. With such start-up capital, he quit trading and went into what he liked. He got a job at an evening school as a teacher of communication lessons.

Life business

In 1911, Dale opened his own school of rhetoric and stagecraft. Soon Carnegie began to travel around the country with his lectures. At the same time, he wrote and published essays on various topics.

In October 1912 he recruited his first group in the Young Men's Christian Association. The directorate paid him two dollars for one evening lesson, and Dale began to lecture. A few months passed, and the courses gained such popularity that the lecturer's rate increased from two dollars to thirty.

His listeners, adults, did not go to lectures to receive a certificate. They needed help in solving everyday problems, and Dale gave them the necessary advice. He taught them how to let go of embarrassment, get ahead in business, gain self-confidence, set goals and achieve them. Most importantly, this work brought incredible pleasure to Carnegie himself.

Soon the fame of the unique lecturer reached the neighboring cities, he was invited by other centers and associations.

In the course of his teaching activities, Dale developed a system for teaching communication and sociability. This system turned out to be unique, and Carnegie officially legalized his authorship.

In 1926, his first book, Oratory and Influencing Business Partners, was published.

From the questions that his listeners asked, Dale identified the range of problems that people were most concerned about. So new topics appeared in his lectures. And in 1936, the next book, How to Win Friends and Influence People, was published, it was a wild success, selling a million copies within the first year. In the future, she broke all records: only in the United States of America, five million copies were sold, for ten years the book was recognized as a bestseller. It was translated into many languages, the author became known throughout the world, and finally Dale Carnegie, who suffered from poverty as a child, received financial well-being.

Carnegie's advice helped many to gain independence and overcome complexes. It would seem that simple phrases, but how correct and deep they are:

• "To be interesting, be interested";
• “A smile costs nothing, but is highly valued”;
• “Be busy. This is the cheapest and most effective medicine on earth”;
• “Life is too short to waste it on trifles”;
• “Don’t think for a single minute about people who are unpleasant to you”;
• “If fate gives you a lemon, make lemonade out of it”;
• “If you want to remake people, start with yourself, it’s more useful and safer”;
• “A strong desire to learn something is already 50% of success”;
• “Don't be afraid of the enemies that attack. Be afraid of friends who flatter";
• "Don't criticize, don't judge, don't complain."

People were eagerly awaiting the release of the next book. In 1948, another of his famous creations, How to Stop Worrying and Start Living, was published. Here are a lot of tips on how to confront numerous fears, get rid of excessive anxiety and suspiciousness.

The popularity of his life theory was incredible. In one of the New York newspapers, Dale even led his own column, where readers asked him questions, and he answered.
Carnegie created the Institute for Effective Public Speaking and Human Relations, which now has branches around the world. There is Dale Carnegie University in St. Louis. And the company he created today is an international organization with offices in more than 80 countries, and a staff of about 2,800 trainers.

Personal life

Carnegie's creative and professional life turned out to be much more successful than his personal life. He was married twice. He divorced for the first time in 1931, but for a long time and carefully concealed this fact, because it was during that period that he lectured on building good family relationships.

In 1944 he entered into a second marriage. His wife Dorothy had a girl from her previous husband, Carnegie adopted her. Dale and Dorothy also had a joint daughter, Donna. These relationships did not result in a happy marriage, but Carnegie did not divorce his second wife, because she did a wonderful job in the corporation he created.

At the end of his life, Dale suffered from Hodgkin's disease (a malignant disease of the lymph nodes). Died November 1, 1955. There is a version that he committed suicide, unable to fight the disease anymore. He is buried in Belton, Missouri.