A social relationship in which some individuals (groups of people), with the help of external coercion, which poses a threat to life up to its destruction, subjugate others, their abilities, productive forces, property; usurpation… … Philosophical Encyclopedia

Violence- Violence ♦ Violence Excessive use of force. Sometimes it is necessary (moderation is not always possible), but it is never good. Always regrettable, but not always expected. The opposite of violence is gentleness (not ... ... Philosophical Dictionary of Sponville

The physical or mental impact of one person on another, violating the right of citizens to personal integrity (in the physical and spiritual sense). Physical VIOLENCE is expressed in a direct impact on the human body: applying ... Financial vocabulary

Rape, pressure, coercion, pokuka, reprisals, coercive measures, despotism, tyranny. There is no nudge from the outside. Put pressure on someone.. Cf. . See arbitrariness... Dictionary of Russian synonyms and expressions similar in meaning. under. ed. N.… … Synonym dictionary

VIOLENCE, violence, cf. 1. Applying physical force to someone. Traces of violence on the body. 2. The use of force, forcing someone to do something. “The dictatorship of the proletariat is a revolutionary power based on violence against... Explanatory Dictionary of Ushakov

outrage! ... Wikipedia

See SOCIAL VIOLENCE... The latest philosophical dictionary

The physical or mental influence of one person on another, violating the right of citizens to personal inviolability guaranteed by the Constitution of the Russian Federation. Physical N. is expressed in a direct effect on the human body: beatings, ... ... Law Dictionary

1) the use by a certain social group of various forms of coercion in relation to other groups in order to acquire or maintain economic and political dominance, to win certain privileges. The ruling classes and others ... ... Big Encyclopedic Dictionary

VIOLENCE, I, cf. 1. The use of physical force against someone n. An act of violence. Traces of violence on the body. 2. Coercive influence on someone, violation of personal integrity. N. over personality. 3. Oppression, lawlessness (book). Arbitrariness and n. ... ... Explanatory dictionary of Ozhegov

English violence; German Gezualt. The use of force or different kind threats in relation to certain social. subjects or their property for the purpose of intimidation and coercion to certain actions. Antinazi. Encyclopedia of Sociology, 2009 ... Encyclopedia of Sociology

Books

• Violence. ru, Dym Alexander. Can you imagine the feelings of a person who finds himself alone in front of an angry mob? Have you ever had to spit your teeth into your palm? You woke up with pain in broken ribs, ...
• Violence. ru, Alexander Dym (LightSmoke). Can you imagine the feelings of a person who finds himself alone in front of an angry mob? Have you ever had to spit your teeth into your palm? You woke up with pain in broken ribs,…

All the stories have one thing in common, that everything happened in crowded places where houses and apartments are located nearby, in most cases people suspected something, but did not dare to tell the police.

Recently, Aloisio Francesco Rosario Giordano, 52, was arrested in Italy. charged with kidnapping and assaulting a 29-year-old woman .

An Italian held a Romanian woman in a basement for ten years. He tortured her, raped her and forced her to give birth to two children.

After his release from prison, Giordano returned home to take care of his sick wife and two children, enlisting the help of a 19-year-old Romanian woman who would become his victim.

When Henri's wife died, he offered his assistant support as a guardian and a place to stay - and then locked her in the basement. There the woman spent the next 10 years.

The victim was permanently chained to a metal rod in a dirty room full of rats and insects, with no water or electricity. She said that she was constantly beaten, tortured and repeatedly raped.

During this time, she gave birth to Giordano two children: a boy of nine and a girl of three. The children were forced to watch Giordano abuse their mother.

Police found wounds all over the woman's body, including her chest and crotch, many of which were treated by Giordano himself. He sewed up some deep wounds with fishing wire.

After a high-profile incident, the Italian public was outraged: for so many years a woman could not be found, although this happened next to other houses and apartments.

TSN.ua collected the most resonant stories of people who were kidnapped, raped and severely beaten.

Kharkov maniac

On June 29, 2017, a man who was a 17-year-old girl was convicted in the Kharkiv region. In addition, the criminal settled in a strange house, robbed a store and a neighboring cottage.

The Chuguev city court of the Kharkiv region found guilty a 38-year-old resident of the village. Rubizhne under several articles of the Criminal Code of Ukraine at once and sentenced him to 12 years in prison.

"The prosecutor's office proved in court that on New Year's Eve a Kharkiv resident stole an underage girl from the street. He approached her from behind, put a knife to her throat and forced her to go with him. The man brought the girl to one of the country houses, where he temporarily lived without the knowledge of the owners. The kidnapper kept his victim in a cold and damp room with his hands and feet tied, repeatedly raped him. On January 4, the girl managed to escape," the prosecutor's office said.

During the investigation, it was established that on the eve of the theft, the attacker knocked out the lock with an ax in one of the country houses, where he settled. In addition, on the same evening, he robbed a village shop. The man entered the store through the window and took out fan heaters, a slow cooker, linen, hygiene products, food, sweets, cigarettes, and so on. The total amount stolen was more than 4 thousand hryvnia.

The next night, the attacker robbed a neighboring country house. His prey was a TV and a radio. The hijacker lived in someone else's dacha from December 24, 2015 to January 4, 2016.

The man was found guilty of kidnapping and unlawful imprisonment, rape of a minor, illegal entry into a home and repeated burglary (part 2 of article 146, part 3 of article 152, part 1 of article 162, part 3 article 185 of the Criminal Code of Ukraine).

Parental violence

In Brazil, police officers during a raid in São Paulo, tied to a bed.

Law enforcement agencies said that 36-year-old Armando di Andrade spent 20 years in captivity with his father and stepmother. When police found the Brazilian, he had overgrown fingernails and toenails and a knee-length beard. He was very emaciated. There were no windows or artificial lighting in the room where he was, and the entire floor was covered in feces.

Police Chief Celso Marchiori said that when Andrade was found, he did not say a word, he could not even immediately understand that they were law enforcement officers.

“We don’t know if he was frightened or drugged. We called for help and he was immediately hospitalized. It’s hard to believe he spent 20 years there. Marchiori said.

It is noted that Andrade disappeared when he was still 16 years old. He grew up as an ordinary guy, was fond of a skateboard and played the guitar.

The police started an investigation. The husband's father and stepmother have not yet been arrested, but they were forced to leave their home due to aggression from angry neighbors.

Cleveland Maniac

When one of the victims, Amanda Berry, gave birth in December, the baby was not breathing. Ariel Castro, the biological father of the child, called Michelle and threatened to kill her if he did not save the girl. Michelle gave the child artificial respiration, and she came to life. According to Michelle, Amanda became pregnant several times as a result of rape, and then Castro starved her and beat her, provoking miscarriages. The surviving girl was raised by three women.

“I cried every night. Days turned into nights, nights into days. These years have become an eternity. He said that my family is not looking for me,” the young woman said with tears in her eyes. According to her, only a close friendship with the youngest of the captives - Gina de Jesus - did not let her go crazy in such terrible conditions.

Castro denied the accusations of torturing and beating the girls, as well as the facts of rape, admitting only that he held the captives against their will.

“They want to make me look like a monster. I'm not a monster, I'm sick,” he said.

The perpetrator was arrested in May 2013 after one of the abductees, Amanda Berry, managed to break open the door and call for help. The neighbors of the rapist repeatedly reported to the police that everything was not going smoothly in the house, but they were not taken seriously.

The court sentenced the "Cleveland Maniac" to life imprisonment and another 1 thousand years in prison without the possibility of qualifying for parole. In September 2013, he was found hanged in a prison cell.

Zaporozhye rapist

In February 2017, a maniac was detained in Zaporozhye, who held captive and raped two underage girls.

"An investigator of the Dniprovsky Police Department of the Main Directorate of the National Police in the Zaporozhye region opened criminal proceedings on the grounds of a crime under Part 3 of Article 153 of the Criminal Code of Ukraine," the National Police of the region said in a statement.

The article provides for 8 to 12 years in prison. The rapist was detained in accordance with Art. 208 of the Code of Criminal Procedure of Ukraine and reported suspicion of committing the above-mentioned crimes. The pre-trial investigation is ongoing.

Maniac Father

In the Austrian town of Amstetten, in the basement of the house of a local resident Josef Fritzl, his own daughter Elisabeth lived for 24 years, over whom he regularly mocked.

The maniac's wife did not even suspect that someone was living in the walled-up basement. The woman believed her husband, who said that their daughter had run away with the sectarians and only occasionally gets in touch.

Hello to all those who are now on the pages of the adventure project "On the Edge"! More recently, I wanted to watch a movie, so before going to bed something interesting. I have reviewed quite a few films in my adult life, and yes, I can say there are worthwhile ones.

But this time I became interested in the topic, such films that can make the heart beat faster. The ones that can tickle your nerves. Entered in the search: "The toughest films about violence" and began his search. I, like all people, look not only at the description of the film, I pay attention to its cast, and also read reviews. This is my favorite activity. It's so interesting to read conflicting opinions... Someone evaluates a film by comparing it with others, for someone it's enough that he sees it himself. In any case, I watch movies, even if there are negative reviews. After all, how many people, so many opinions.

My top best pictures about violence and unjustified cruelty

Top 10 best films about violence, began with the film "Martyrs"

I have heard a lot about this film, especially since it was released back in 2008. But I never got around to seeing it. But the hour came, and I sat down with a bucket of popcorn, and started watching. Now there will be my criticism of this tape. First, let me get you up to speed...

Around the beginning of the 1970s, on one of the French roads, they find a little girl, Lucy, who wandered in splendid isolation. The girl was considered missing, they searched for her for about a year, but they were never found. Of course, everyone wanted to know what happened to the little girl, the whole public and the media are hungry for the truth, but the little girl is so shocked that she cannot tell anything.

The law enforcement officers begin their investigation and they manage to immediately find the place where something terrible happened. The place where Lucy spent the last year of her life is an old abandoned slaughterhouse.

A medical examination was carried out, which showed that the girl did not twitch with violence, which means that it was not a pedophile who stole her. And this confuses the investigation even more, because the girl was very thin and was covered in abrasions and wounds, bloody smudges. It is only clear that the girl did not go beyond the old slaughterhouse throughout the year, but the question is, how did the girl get out of there? And what she had to endure is a mystery to be revealed. There may be people living next to us who do terrible things, but we don’t know it. What kind of taiga does this story keep...

The film, produced by Canada and France, was shot in 2008, directed by Pascal Laugier, duration 99 minutes.

In my opinion, the film is not very eventful. The second time I would not dare to watch it. I'm not one of those people who like gray and bloody films. Constantly beating, some strange movements, cutting and stuff like that. It is difficult not only to understand, but also to perceive. Not a fast paced or vibrant film. I would classify it as a one-off movie.

Going through the list below, I noticed the movie "Snuff 102"

The first thing I thought about was tobacco (a leaf of tobacco ground into powder), but then I realized that this was clearly something wrong. Snuff are short videos with real scenes of violence. Terrible things, but they decided to make a movie about it. This tape was filmed in 2007, directed by Mariano Peralta, duration 100 minutes (very much in vain, as practice has shown).

The plot just killed me mentally, to be honest, I didn’t think that this could be filmed. I wanted to see something terrible, but not such that it became bad. The storyline of this movie is amazing.

At the very beginning of the film, the viewer is shown shocking real scenes of violence. Horrible little videos where girls aged 23-26 are killed (most likely prostitutes). The process of killing itself, most often, is suffocation with bags or stockings. The young journalist decided to conduct her own investigation.

She begins to collect various facts, and also communicates with those who make such films, trying to understand what the essence of this Snuff is. The film itself is a constant series of scenes of violence. One video is replaced by another (color / black and white). The words of one of the film critics are striking to the core: Do you know how much a child costs? Yes, it has its price. But the interesting thing is that the film on which this child is bullied, raped, killed, costs much more. Where does all this come from?

Very strange scenes of violence, where fingers are first cut off, a knife is put in the nose, teeth are knocked out with a hammer, and ends with suffocation with a bag. The victims are assigned a number, and the number 102 already says something. The feed contains videos with violence in black and white and color. The black and white footage shows how the poor victims got into this trouble. Three unfortunates, one of them a pregnant drug addict, the second - and the third - a journalist. In color frames, we see how the rapist carries out the act of violence itself.

A journalist becomes a target for a rapist and a murderer, and the chase begins for her. He achieves his goal - the journalist is caught. He prepares for brutal violence, but the girl manages to hit the head of the rapist with a stone, and she begins to brutally beat the killer with his own machete. By nightfall, the journalist is getting out of the terrible forest, covered in blood, exhausted, on the way she is picked up by a fast ambulance.”

An interesting film, only if you read what it's about. But the way it's filmed leaves a lot to be desired. This documentary footage of the murder is, well, too brutal. Indeed, the film takes out the brain, I would say, breaks it. Scary, hard movie. Not even scary, but unpleasant, but at the same time keeps the viewer chained to the screen. I don't think I'll ever want to watch it again.

It was enough for me once to not sleep later

His cruelty is overwhelming. If you think about it, then in reality someone is making videos that vividly demonstrate scenes of violence. People with a weak psyche are not advised to watch such a movie. Basically, its storyline is 1 out of 10 as it is a standard primitive movie. There is a maniac, there is a real victim, and there are former victims. And one skillful and strong girl decides everything. Well, the standard, agree? But this picture hooked me with the fact that the director is trying to convey a certain philosophy.

A quote from a film critic who said that the price of pictures with violence is many times greater than the price of just a video with a child. Interestingly, after the premiere of this film, in one of the cities of America, the director was beaten by disgruntled viewers. And in truth, what is there to applaud. Agree, no one was the director of "Titanic", or "Independence Day".

If you compare these two films, then it is difficult to say which one is better, but I will do it. Put pressure on me, and I'll tell you that, perhaps, the first film, about the girl Lucy, is a little more humane. By at least, this is a sick fantasy of the author, and here you can warn yourself in advance that this is just a movie that has a place to be. And the second film with a demonstration of role-playing footage of violence can really take out your brain.

Movies that make the brain shrink from horror

I did not stop there and decided to watch the rating of the scariest films. If you have already begun to tickle your nerves, then you need to bring the matter to the end.

And so, I came across such films:

"Flowers". Horror and thriller

Despite the fact that the title does not frighten in any way, the film has scenes of violence, and very cruel ones. Yes, I do not advise children and pregnant women to watch such a picture. I will not let you know what it is about, but believe me, I myself did not expect that such a thing could be filmed in principle;

"Murder in Pieces". Movie 2004.

Filmed in . Yes, this movie is full of gore, violence and shocking footage. Two sisters, the eldest meets with a rich photographer who turned out to be a Nazi maniac. And not in vain saying that it is worth listening to the advice of your sister and brothers. In fact, the film is not so scary, but there are moments that really raised the hair on the back;

"Serbian Film" It just blew me away, I didn't even finish watching it. Not a movie, but solid scenes of debauchery and violence, I think most of the people who tried to watch it didn’t even understand what it was about, and I didn’t really understand it myself, at the beginning, and then turned off this nightmare altogether. If Serbia is really such a country as they tried to show us in this film, then you should not go there. It doesn’t occur to me where you can get so much dirt and aggression, it’s not even a matter of the director’s and screenwriter’s imagination. You can just say that the film is depraved, strange, looking at it you feel complete disgust. In general, I do not advise you to watch such films.

Also in the list of films about violence, I came across two parts of the tape "I spit on your graves", "I spit on your graves-2".

I would not say that the movie is too scary, but I watched these two films with great joy. More precisely, not joy, but rather pleasure. No, you shouldn't say that either. Looked with ease. Here the idea is that the girl who was raped by the guys begins to take revenge on them. And she does it with maximum rigidity. I don’t know if it makes sense to watch such tapes again, but of all the films that can take out the brain and tickle the nerves, this one is perhaps the most tolerant.

Salo, or 120 days of Sodom. This is not a movie, this is a scandal

I don’t even know how to overpower what was happening in the film, it’s just that my hands can’t type it, and my tongue won’t turn around to say it. There are a lot of scary scenes in the tape that you should generally skip past you. not in vain in all world ratings of scary and banned films, he is in 1st or 2nd place;

The tape is old, but I can't understand what people were thinking when they filmed this. I understand that cinema should offer the viewer different genres, but that's it. I was left in shock;

"Mysterious Skin" Not everyone has a bright and interesting childhood.

Here the main character experienced terrible moments. One day the boy woke up in the cellar with a nosebleed and he didn't know what was wrong. Events unfold quickly, and it turns out he was raped by his trainer. Not a very easy fate for the boy is not very pleasant. You can watch;

"High-rise Man"

There are three parts of such a film, real horrors. A lot of explicit scenes that are not always possible to watch. All three parts are worthy, despite the fact that they are motorized;

"Hostel"

Another picture that can tickle your nerves. I advise. This is one of those films that you can watch without looking away from the monitor;

"What would you do"

There are no such serious scenes of violence in this tape, but for some reason it is on the list of the most terrible and motor-driven films about violence. In my opinion, a simple, not very sophisticated work, so you can also watch it.

This list is endless. It is interesting that every year, some directors of the new generation, who see the world in their own way, offer new films. And those who have already managed to snatch their Oscar can also offer the viewer a film where there are scenes of violence.

movie rape

When it comes to rape in the movies, the first thing that comes to mind is the film directed by Gaspard Noé "Irreversible". This tape was filmed in 2002, starring Monica Bellucci and Vincent Cassel. The main feature of this drama is that it was filmed backwards. That is, the events will be shown in reverse order. I will not specifically talk about the plot of the thriller here. I can only say one thing - you either turn it off after 15 minutes of viewing, or like an obsessed one you will watch it after a masterpiece scene with the rape of one of the most beautiful women in the world.

Taste and color...

In my opinion, cinema offers people what they will “eat”, that is, films about violence have a place to be. It is not clear what drives people are not those moments when they turn on such a movie. Such tapes can make a person angry, and in some cases even break the psyche. When I was looking for such films, I was just wondering what is so special about them that they are even banned. For myself, I realized that this is not mine.

Watching films where a woman is raped, where she is killed with a bag or stocking, obviously will not cause positive emotions. For me, a film is something that cheers up, or vice versa, catches the untouched strings of the soul. Sometimes I review films filled with philosophical meaning, or films of a psychological nature. In any case, films are an art that should be respected, and if a person decides to film horrors that break the brain and simply drive you crazy, then this also has a certain purpose and meaning. Maybe in this way they want to convey to the masses that this cannot be done. So that looking at it, the viewer understands that it is not very beautiful and not at all spectacular.

But for myself, I decided that it would be better to watch a detective story, or, especially if you do it before going to bed. And if it's too early to sleep, then you can look, which I recently sketched and choose something to your liking.

I hope this article was useful for you, dear readers! Subscribe to and share articles on social networks. See you later!

Text agent Q.

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To begin with, I want to define two concepts.

What is violence?

Any form of influence of one person on another in order to force him against his will to do what the first needs. The key points here are "any form", "purpose" (i.e. intentionality) and "against will". I do not believe that a necessary condition for the definition of violence should be, as the WHO definition says, "injury, death, psychological injury, developmental disabilities or damage of any kind."

What is a personal psychological boundary?

The line between "me/mine" and "not-me/other". The “I/mine” is completely and undividedly subject to the ownership of the bearer of this “I”, and no one else can dispose of it. Another thing is that people have personal boundaries of different widths and, accordingly, different ideas about what they can dispose of and what they cannot. For example, if formally my personal time/place does not feel like “mine”, then someone else can easily take over my time/place, and I will not resist. Protected (aggression) is only what enters the psychological boundaries. If they are terribly tight, then in the life of this person it is very easy to push. In extreme cases, "I/mine" does not even extend to formally one's own body.

I sometimes suggest that clients do this experiment in pairs. One of the "partners" chooses a place in the room and mentally draws a boundary around him, inside which "I". After he does this (and does not tell anyone where the border is), the second begins to approach, and the task of the first is to stop him as soon as he approaches the border. And here various phenomena of interaction between two people are manifested. Someone approaching is very worried about the comfort of the person waiting and stops himself, sometimes a few steps before the mental boundary. One of those waiting easily says “stop, you can’t go any further,” and the one who came quietly stopped. There were situations when the waiter, as the second “partner” approached, began to get nervous, worry, but did not let you know that they say, dear, you crossed the border. Some approachers noticed nervousness and slowed down themselves (or walked less and less confidently), some calmly walked straight into a collision, and at that moment those waiting began to back away, but still did not want to stop those who were clearly intruded beyond mentally established boundaries. There was one extreme case when an approaching man simply ignored the woman’s words and gestures “stop!”, explaining that “I wanted to approach, and I did what I wanted, and why would she dictate to me what I should do, and what is not?" In the mind of this person, there were absolutely no other people's personal boundaries as a fact, even when he knew at the level of the “head” that these boundaries existed (and in response to the remark that he had now committed almost real rape, he dismissed: “Rape is completely otherwise, I'm not some kind of pervert!").

After this experiment, the question was inevitably asked: “What did you feel when the partner approached?” And also - "What happened to you when you approached?"; "How did you deal with your experiences?"; “What made you endure discomfort, but not react to the invasion of personal boundaries?”; “And what motivated you to move closer and closer, despite the fact that you understood/felt that you had already climbed into someone else’s territory?”

In a discussion for many partners, it is often a real discovery that they BOTH took an active part in creating an uncomfortable situation, if there was one. There were practically no “victims” and simply “rapists”, with the exception of that example with a complete disregard for the response of a woman, where the roles were clearly defined. And so - a rigid division into "good" and "bad" was not always possible to carry out. The answers to the above questions varied. And they provide clues as to where healthy interaction ends and violence begins. There are several options.

1. Hypersensitivity to foreign boundaries

In this case, people do not come into contact with another person at all and do not indicate their interests / needs directed at the other, because they are afraid to make him uncomfortable. "Hypersensitivity" is often possessed by people who have lived for a long time with those whose personal boundaries are exaggerated and any "extra" movement of the others was perceived as an attack. Hence the habit of squeezing oneself and "hyperrespect" of others, completely suppressing one's own initiative. As a result, there are leaky personal boundaries that are easy to crush or ignore, because the other person is uncomfortable with them.

2. Ability to contact at the border

Two people are approaching, their personal boundaries are colliding, and they make it known. Here is mine, and here is mine, here are my desires, and here are my desires. There is a normal demarcation, "lapping". It is possible, however, only when both partners talk about themselves, their needs and desires, and at the same time have a choice of which needs of the partner they are ready to satisfy and which they are not. During contact, people constantly test each other's boundaries. For example, doing something that you find pleasant for another without asking them is a boundary test. If the other reacted with anger, you definitely crossed the border, “did good”, and here it is important to step back and decide where the line will be drawn. But what happened is not yet violence, it's just a violation of personal boundaries, which can happen to everyone from time to time.
As an example, I will give a story with a ridiculous and very uncomfortable gift. A grandmother gave her little granddaughter a live rabbit, without any regard for the fact that the mother would have to take care of the rabbit. Which she did for several years, but is this situation violent? Mom did not refuse to accept this rabbit, choosing the joy of the child, and not her own needs. There is nothing pleasant in this situation, but it is not violence: there was a choice to refuse, however, the price for it was quite high, and the borders at that time were not marked. It should be taken into account that the situation of choice can be false: they seem to ask you about something, but the answer is ignored and the person still acts in his own way. So, contact at the border sometimes leads to the fact that we violate other people's borders, and this is normal. Violations do not do only one who does not come into contact at all.
There is another way to approach. When both partners, approaching each other, ask: “How can you be at such a distance? Can I get closer?" In ordinary life, this means paying attention to the experiences and needs of the other. How to make a partner unhappy? Forget that he has his own territory and in this territory he sets the rules himself. You can try to agree on new rules, but do not push through. From the moment of pushing through (begging, ignoring), the dialogue stops and violence begins.

3. Ignoring well-defined alien boundaries

If someone clearly expressed: “this is possible with me, but this is not possible”, and the second one continues to do (or try to do) what he wants, violence begins from this point. And there are no other options here. “I don’t want sex today” - “Well, okay, what does it cost you!” From the moment you said "I don't want sex!" - all further attempts to have sex are attempts to invade a territory that is closed. Why it is closed (why a person does not want sex) is another question, and with the ability to make contact at the border of both partners, it can be resolved. And defensive aggression here is a normal and natural reaction.
"Blessings" often also become forms of violence. I know a story in which a father decided to “do good” to his daughter, and when she was on vacation, in two weeks, a team of workers hired by her father completely redecorated her apartment in accordance with her father’s ideas. No one asked her daughter, of course, whether she wanted it or not, and she had no choice - to accept or not to accept. She was confronted with a fact. The father simply satisfied his need at the expense of his daughter. In fact, this is a symbolic rape, that is, penetration deep into the personal (even intimate) territory without the permission of the victim, and even in her "unconscious" state. In this case, the boundaries were clearly marked, and they were violated. Food violence, financial violence - any form of interaction in which one of the partners does what he wants with the other, ignoring the will of the other, is violence. Tactless remarks and comparisons, depreciation, unsolicited advice - all this, being a violation of personal boundaries, is not violence in itself, but it becomes violence when it was directly said: do not compare me with Zhenya or Sasha, it offends me. I do not want you to give me advice, if necessary, I will ask.
One of the border zones here is flirting. The rapprochement of a man and a woman implies penetration beyond the boundaries, and sensitivity to each other, to reactions to each cautious step towards, is very important here. And simply grabbing a woman or a man for "interesting places" leaves no choice and is violence with all the ensuing reactions to it. The partner does not always have the opportunity and resources to resist or respond in time, but there is always the opportunity to directly indicate your attitude.

4. Undefined or undefined personal boundaries

One of the partners or both cannot clearly indicate their attitude to this or that fact. For example, a man wants sex, and a woman in response very vaguely says “maybe”, “we'll see”, “well-uh-uh”, “probably” and so on. And non-verbal messages are also dual. These vague words and gestures mean neither refusal nor consent, and, in fact, the interpretation is at the mercy of the initiator of sex. And he can interpret it from positions that are desirable for him, which is natural. “Yeah, you need to be more persistent, she is waiting for this!” (She did not indicate what she was waiting for.) It is not clear where the flags are. In the absence of direct feedback, people often begin to look for some external criteria that would allow them to understand a partner. And among them there may be stereotypes about the “correct” male or female behavior, cultural norms (offer three times - refuse twice, demonstrate modesty, agree on the third), advice from friends and girlfriends. Orientation to external criteria does not lead to anything good: not real people are in contact, but walking stereotypes. Is the man's continued initiative then violence? No. He chooses a variant of action acceptable to him in uncertain conditions, sometimes even based on past experience: when, having shown initiative, he did not meet with a response, but having stopped showing it, he suddenly encounters resentment ...

Warning!

Blaming an injured person that they are to blame for the violence against themselves by another person is unacceptable and serves as an “excellent” excuse for the abuser. The perpetrator of violence bears full guilt and responsibility for it, and with regard to the victims, we can only talk about his / her responsibility for protecting personal boundaries, but not for violence.

There are various reasons why it is difficult to define your boundaries. Someone is afraid of offending, someone is simply afraid for their life and health because of past experience. Someone manipulates, plays their games. And someone simply cannot find a psychological resource to resist violence or to mark their borders, so the very fact of knowing how to protect their borders may not help. Acquiring these resources is often the task of psychotherapy.