In everyday life between people, due to the difference in temperaments, conflict situations often occur. This is due, first of all, to the excessive emotionality of a person and the lack of self-control. emotions? How to "take over" your own feelings and thoughts during a conflict? Psychology provides answers to these questions.

What is self-control for?

Restraint and self-control is something that many people lack. This comes with time, constantly training and improving skills. Self-control helps to achieve a lot, and the least of this list is inner peace of mind. How to learn to control your emotions, and at the same time prevent intrapersonal conflict? Understand that it is necessary and find agreement with your own "I".

Control over emotions does not allow aggravation of the conflict situation, allows you to find with completely opposite personalities. To a greater extent, self-control is necessary for building relationships with people, whether business partners or relatives, children, lovers.

The impact of negative emotions on life

Disruptions and scandals, in which negative energy is released, adversely affect not only the people around, but also the instigator of conflict situations. How to learn to control your negative emotions? Try to avoid conflicts and not succumb to provocations from other people.

Negative emotions destroy harmonious relationships in the family, hinder the normal development of the individual and career growth. After all, few people want to cooperate / communicate / live with a person who does not control himself and, at every opportunity, starts a large-scale scandal. For example, if a woman cannot control herself and constantly finds fault with her man, which leads to serious quarrels, then soon he will leave her.

In raising children, it is also important to restrain yourself and not give vent to negative emotions. The child will feel every word spoken by the parent in the heat of anger, and subsequently remember this moment for the rest of his life. Psychology helps to understand how to learn to restrain emotions and prevent their manifestation in communication with children and loved ones.

Negative emotions also have a big impact on business and work activities. The team always consists of people of different temperaments, therefore self-control plays an important role here: negativity can spill out at any moment when a person is put under pressure, they are required to do overwhelming work. And instead of the usual dialogue, where the parties can reach a consensus, a scandal develops. How to learn to restrain emotions in the workplace? Do not respond to the provocations of employees, try to start a casual conversation, agree with the authorities in everything, even if the tasks set are difficult to accomplish.

Suppression of emotions

Constantly holding yourself back within certain limits and preventing the release of negativity is not a panacea. Suppressing accumulates negativity in itself, and therefore, the risk of developing psychological diseases increases. It is necessary to “splash out” the negative from time to time somewhere, but in such a way that the feelings of other people do not suffer. How to learn to restrain emotions, but without harm to the inner world? Go in for sports, because during training a person spends all his internal resources, and the negative quickly disappears.

For the release of negative energy, wrestling, boxing, hand-to-hand combat are suitable. It is important here that a person mentally wants to give vent to his emotions, then he will feel relieved and he will not want to take it out on anyone. However, it should be borne in mind that everything should be in moderation, and overwork during training can provoke a new influx of negativity.

Two ways to keep your emotions in check:

• Do you dislike a person so much that you are ready to destroy him? Do it, but, of course, not in the truest sense of the word. At that moment, when you become uncomfortable from communicating with him, do mentally with this person whatever you want.
• Draw a person you hate and write down on a piece of paper next to the image the problems that appeared in your life thanks to him. Burn the leaf and mentally put an end to your relationship with this person.

Prevention

How to learn to restrain emotions? Psychology gives such an answer to this question: in order to control one's feelings and emotions, prevention is necessary, in other words, emotional hygiene. Like the human body, his soul also needs hygiene and disease prevention. To do this, you need to protect yourself from communicating with people who cause hostility, and also, if possible, avoid conflicts.

Prevention is the most gentle and optimal way to control emotions. It does not require additional training of a person and the intervention of a specialist. Preventive measures allow you to protect yourself from negativity and nervous breakdowns for a long time.

The main thing that helps to get the better of your emotions - over your own life. When a person is satisfied with everything in his home, work, relationships, and he understands that at any moment he can influence and adjust all this for himself, then it is easier for him to restrain the manifestation of negative emotions. There are a number of preventive rules that help manage your own feelings and thoughts. How to learn to control your emotions and manage yourself? Follow simple rules.

Unfinished business and debt

Complete all planned tasks in a short time, do not leave work unfinished - this can cause a delay in deadlines, provoking negative emotions. Also, "tails" can be reproached, point out your incompetence.

In financial terms, try to avoid delays in payments and debts - this is exhausting and prevents you from reaching your goal. Understanding that you have not repaid a debt to someone causes negativity, helplessness in the face of the circumstances.

The absence of debts, both financial and otherwise, allows you to fully spend your own energy resources and forces, directing them to the realization of desires. A sense of duty, on the other hand, is a hindrance to mastering self-control and achieving success. How to learn to restrain emotions and control yourself? Eliminate debts in a timely manner.

Cosiness

Create a comfortable workplace for yourself, equip your home according to your own taste. Both at work and at home, with your family, you should be comfortable - nothing should cause irritation or any other negative emotions.

Time planning

Try to competently make plans for the day, strive to ensure that you have a little more time and resources for the implementation of the tasks set than you need. This will avoid the negative associated with the constant lack of time and worries about the lack of finances, energy and strength for work.

Communication and workflow

Avoid contact with unpleasant people who waste your personal time. In particular, with individuals who are called "energy vampires" - they take not only time, but also your strength. If possible, try not to intersect with overly temperamental people, as any incorrect remark directed in their direction can provoke a scandal. How to control your emotions in relationships with other people? Be polite, do not exceed your authority, do not overreact to criticism.

If your job brings you nothing but negative emotions, then you should think about changing your place of work. Earning money to the detriment of your soul and feelings, sooner or later, will lead to a breakdown and disorder of peace of mind.

Border marking

Mentally create a list of things and actions that cause you negative emotions. Draw an invisible line, a line beyond which no one, even the closest person, should cross. Make a set of rules that restrict people from interacting with you. Those who truly love, appreciate and respect you will accept such demands, and those who oppose the settings should not be in your environment. To communicate with outsiders, develop a special system that will avoid violation of your boundaries and the formation of conflict situations.

Physical activity and introspection

Playing sports will bring not only physical health, but also mental balance. Give sports from 30 minutes to 1 hour a day, and your body will quickly cope with negative emotions.

At the same time, analyze everything that happens to you during the day. Ask yourself questions about whether you did the right thing in this or that situation, whether you communicated with the right people, whether there was enough time to complete the work. This will help not only to understand yourself, but also in the future to eradicate communication with unnecessary people that cause negativity. own emotions, thoughts and goals allows you to fully develop self-control.

Positive emotions and prioritization

Develop the ability to switch from negative to positive emotions, try to see the positive side in any situation. How to learn to control emotions in relationships with relatives and strangers? Be positive, and this will help you defeat your own temper.

A well-chosen goal is a great help in achieving self-control. When you are on the verge of a surge of negative emotions, imagine that as soon as you stop being nervous and paying attention to provocations, your dreams will begin to come true. Choose only realistic, achievable goals.

Environment

Take a close look at the people around you. Is there any benefit in talking to them? Do they bring you happiness, warmth and kindness, do they make you happy? If not, then the answer is obvious, you urgently need to change your social circle, switch to people who bring positive emotions. Of course, it is unrealistic to do this in the workplace, but at least limit yourself from communicating with such people outside the workspace.

In addition to changing the environment, expanding the circle of friends will help to achieve the development of self-control. This will give you new opportunities, knowledge and a positive charge for a long time.

Love is an inspiring feeling. A man in love is all over the place. High spirits and a feeling of cloudless happiness overwhelm him. But what about if or forbidden? Is it possible, and especially such strong ones as love?

What threatens unhappy love?

Many people are not familiar with the feeling or destructive dependence on another person, but nevertheless, most of us felt the irresponsibility on ourselves. Faced with such a situation, a person's thoughts are occupied only with the object of feelings, and the heart is overwhelmed with serious passion. But the one to whom all this storm is directed does not pay any attention or frankly says that there will be no reciprocity.

How to get rid? In this state of affairs, it is definitely necessary to suppress love, because love involves building happiness with a loved one, and not endless torment.

A man who is unrequitedly in love lives in a world of his own fantasies. The absorption of the mind by illusions makes it difficult to fully live and think rationally. Instead of suppressing a feeling that is impossible to share with an object with a sigh, a person fantasizes more and more. does not allow the possibility of a new, real, mutual feeling to enter into life. While it would be possible to attract happy love to oneself, a person completely plunges into an illusory world and sometimes spends whole years on meaningless dreams.

After a long time of waiting, the miracle never happens. What starts next? and . A person accumulates resentment in himself, a feeling of emptiness does not leave him. He is sure that nobody needs him. Any attempts of relatives and friends to somehow distract and entertain an unrequited lover are met. In this state, you can “chop a lot of wood” and do things that a person will regret later. But on this. A person, instead of suppressing the feeling of falling in love, buries himself more and more in thoughts about the subject of sighing and continues to build “castles in the air”.

Is there a cure for love?

A fever in love is not chickenpox and simply “getting sick” with it will not work. This feeling appears suddenly when a person least expects it. Attempts to come up with something to get rid of love have been made by scientists since time immemorial. Many methods were used: prayer, bloodletting, a rigid routine, exhausting sports. Of course, the measures taken did not bring the desired result, because love is not a disease of the body.

There is still no cure. However, neuroscientists assure that in the future, doctors will have a means to suppress any emotions in their arsenal. Scientists have noticed that in the initial stages, love is similar to obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). This means that drugs that help with OCD will also work in terms of suppressing dependency on the object of inspiration. But this theory has not been proven, so help from pharmacology is not to be expected.

How to suppress love?

Irresponsibility and sighing lead to psychological disorders, so you need to get rid of the feeling of falling in love. Irresponsibility breeds resentment, despondency and stress. All this negativity does not contribute to a happy existence.

Psychological methods of deliverance exist, but without working on oneself and one's own thoughts, it will not be possible to suppress the feeling. Love Suppression Therapy:

Do not close yourself from others in a cocoon of negativity and resentment. Share your disappointment. Speak up. But be careful. It is better to share grief anonymously. Communicate on forums, on social networks, lead or tell about the failure in love to a taxi driver, bartender or other uninterested person.
Do not accumulate negative emotions in yourself. Throw out the accumulated experiences by shouting them. Get out into nature and shout out loud everything that overwhelms you.
Imagine the feeling of unrequited love in the form of a balloon that moves away from you into the sky, taking resentment and emptiness with it.
Do not cross paths with a person whose thought makes you painfully aware of unrequitedness. The ideal option is a change of residence, if possible.
Fill free time to the limit. Think of your own activities. Do something you've always wanted to do but haven't had the time for. Being busy is the best medicine in the world.
Don't shut yourself up in your own thoughts. Chat with friends, go to visit, attend social events.

Learn to control your thoughts. Come up with a bonus for not remembering the tormenting character for two hours and gradually increase this time.
Refuse to persecute the object of unrequited love. In addition to inconvenience, shame and other unpleasant things, you will not get anything.
Don't stoop to revenge. The object of feelings is not to blame for falling in love with him. He did not want this and did not ask for love.
Evaluate the qualities of the object of respiration from the opposite side. There are negative character traits and shameful acts in everyone's biography, and the object of unrequited love is no exception.

People find deliverance in creativity. In a state of love, emotions and feelings overwhelm a person so much that you can use it to your advantage. Draw, write poems, stories, articles.

Don't let failure ruin future happiness. Don't develop self-doubt either. Respect the choice of the object of sighing, but remember that choosing it does not make you unworthy of happiness. This is only a page of your life, and there is a whole book ahead. Open up to new relationships and empower yourself

In fact, there is nothing wrong with any emotion, but some of them can cause problems if you do not control yourself. Luckily, there are a number of strategies and lifestyle changes you can use to deal with negative feelings effectively.

Steps

How to reset your mind and body

Notice when emotions get out of hand. The first step is to notice that there is a problem. Pay attention to the physical and mental sensations in such a situation in order to further recognize the symptoms. Use mindfulness, consciousness and rational thinking to "catch" the moment. By itself, the ability to recognize an emotion will only create a link to the present moment.

Start doing the opposite of what you are used to. Stop if you are reacting to a sharp emotion in a familiar way. Think about what happens if you try to do the opposite. How will the outcome change? If it becomes positive or productive, then opt for a new reaction.

Remove yourself from the situation that generates negative emotions. Sometimes the best solution is to just walk away and hide from the irritants. If the situation allows you to leave and not offend others, then it is better to do so.

• For example, if you have been assigned to a work committee whose members are behaving loosely, such meetings may upset you. One way to solve the problem is to ask to be transferred to another committee.

How to communicate confidently and decisively

1. Express your feelings clearly and confidently. Learn how to express your feelings decisively, in order to give an outlet and control your emotions, but at the same time change an undesirable situation. It's okay to express your opinion or deny others things that make you uncomfortable or don't have time for, as long as you're polite and direct.

   • For example, if a friend invites you to a party, you might say, “Thank you for remembering me! Alas, I do not like big companies, so this time I will refuse. Maybe we can go to a coffee shop together?” Let the feelings out so they don't sit inside and control you.

2. Speak in the first person to express your thoughts without blaming others. This way of communication allows you to express emotions and not blame or humiliate anyone. Before you say something accusatory or judgmental, stop and reformulate the sentence into an ordinary observation or your own opinion.

   • For example, instead of saying: “You don’t care about me,” it’s better to say: “I was offended when you didn’t call me back, although you promised. What happened?

3. Invite others to express their point of view. Every situation is different. Invite others to share their thoughts to better understand their point of view and have an equal dialogue. You need to actively listen to keep yourself in control, control your emotions, and be in a mental state that will help you intelligently use other people's ideas.

   • For example, when expressing your opinion, supplement it with the question: “What do you think?”

4. Don't use subjective words like "should" and "should". Such statements blame others and can lead to feelings of annoyance and anger because the situation is not going the way you would like. If you say “should”, “should” or similar words and phrases, then stop and remember that we are all not perfect. Accept the imperfection of the world and the current situation.

   • For example, instead of thinking, “My partner should never hurt my feelings,” remind yourself that there is nothing personal about the situation. You both make mistakes from time to time.
   • If you are being too hard on yourself, show kindness and compassion. For example, if thoughts like: “I should have prepared better. I will fail the exam,” then change them to the following: “I did my best and prepared as best as I could. Either way, everything will be fine.”

How to soothe yourself with the usual course of action

1. Exercise regularly to relax and let off steam. Do physical activities that include calming and repetitive activities (swim, walk, or run) to calm your mind and senses. You can also try yoga or Pilates to calm your thoughts with gentle stretching and breathing exercises.

   Engage different senses in new ways to calm the body. Learn to notice beauty and discreetly admire the world around you for the sake of daily self-care. Your focus on gratitude and physical sensations will help you quickly pull yourself together in moments of stress or irritation. Experiment with different methods:

   Use the soothing touch method. People need loving touch to feel happy. Positive touch releases oxytocin, a powerful hormone that improves mood, relieves stress, and enhances feelings of affection. Common types of soothing touch include:

   • Put your hand on your heart. Feel your heart beat, your chest rise and fall, and heat radiate from your skin. Repeat nice words to yourself like, “I am worthy of love,” or “I am a good person.”
   • Hug yourself. Cross your arms over your chest, place your palms on your shoulders and gently hug yourself. Repeat positive phrases like, “I love myself.”
   • Grab your face with your palms, as if you were a child or a loved one, and then start stroking your face with your fingers. Repeat kind words to yourself like, “I am a wonderful and kind person.”

2. Practice meditation. Meditation is a great way to ease anxiety and depression and learn how to deal with stress. Regular mindfulness meditation helps control emotions. Sign up for a class, use online tutorials, or learn mindfulness meditation on your own at home.

The suppression of emotions and feelings through guilt and shame leads a person to a depressive reaction. Guilt and shame force him to replace body values ​​with ego values, reality with images, and love with approval. He puts all his strength into the realization of a dream that is not destined to come true, because it is based on an illusion.

Illusory lies in the fact that the state of a person, the degree of his satisfaction depend solely on the reaction of others. Recognition, acceptance and approval become his main goals, completely ignoring the fact that their achievement is impossible until a person recognizes, accepts and approves himself.

This illusion fails to take into account that pleasure is primarily an internal state that spontaneously elicits favorable reactions from others.

Repressed emotions include those whose origin is associated with a premonition of pain, namely, hostility, anger and fear. These emotions are suppressed if they can neither be expressed nor endured.

The individual has no choice but to deny them. This situation arises at the moment of collision of the will of the parents and the will of the child. When this happens, the original cause of the conflict turns into a clarification of the question "who is right and who is wrong", and the child's feelings become unimportant.

Since it is extremely difficult for a parent to admit or even for a moment imagine that he can be wrong, the child, in the end, is forced to obey. Being subordinate to the will of the parents, the child develops in relations with them such a style of behavior that makes it as easy as possible for him to grow up.

However, under external submission lies resistance, which gains strength and flares up when a young person gains more independence in adolescence.

Teenage rebellion does not release repressed childhood emotions. It builds on the revealed prerogatives of adolescence and thus introduces a new conflict in the relationship between parent and child. And although the adolescent may have the upper hand in this new confrontation, the guilt and shame that are the legacy of his childhood experience remain unresolved.

Buried in the unconscious, they fuel the flames of his opposition, the true purpose of which remains hidden to him.

The suppression process consists of several steps: first, the expression of the emotion is blocked to avoid further conflict; secondly, a sense of guilt develops, forcing you to admit that this is a “bad” emotion; and thirdly, the ego successfully denies the emotion, thereby blocking its path to consciousness.

Suppression of emotional expression is a form of humility. The child no longer expects pleasure from his parents and is content to soften open conflict.

The ability to be objective, to understand that parents also have a hard time and that their values ​​are determined by their lifestyle, marks the next step in the development of the child's consciousness and lays the foundation for guilt.

This developmental stage occurs during the latency period, between the ages of seven and thirteen (before the age of seven, most children are too subjective to feel guilty about their own attitudes and behavior).

The ability to evaluate one's own attitudes arises from identification with parents and other authority figures. Through such identifications, a person reaches a position that is beyond his "I".

Only from this position can one turn the ego against oneself, condemning one's own emotions and generating guilt. From a position "outside" the "I", condemned emotions are perceived as bad. Therefore, a person quite justifiably separates himself from them in order to reduce the feeling of guilt.

At the last stage of this process, the ego tries to eliminate the split personality that has arisen by denying the emotion and replacing it with the embodiment of the opposite feeling.

A person who suppresses his hostility will see himself as loving and respectful. If he suppresses his anger, he will imagine himself to be kind and benevolent.

If he suppresses fear, he will present himself as a courageous and fearless person. The ego usually operates with images: the first is the image of the body, the second is the image of the "I", and the third is the image of the world.

If these images are confirmed by experience, the person is in contact with reality. An image that contradicts experience is an illusion.

But a person often has to distort reality. For example, to play the role of a loving and obedient child, it is necessary to pretend that the parents are loving and caring people.

Since illusions arise in the mind, they are sustained by its ability to rationalize. Thus, they affect not only the behavior of a person, but also the quality of his thinking.

Arguing with logical judgments is quite difficult. And a person living in an illusion is convinced of the moral "purity" of his position and can bring enough arguments in defense of it.

Usually one has to wait for the illusions to collapse into the abyss of depression before the person is open to help. And depression in this case is inevitable.

Sooner or later, the reserves will be completely depleted, and the person will find that he is no longer able to continue. In a state of depression, a person literally does not find the strength to maintain normal functioning.

All vital functions are suppressed: appetite is reduced, breathing is weakened, mobility is severely limited.

As a result of such a decrease in vital activity, energy metabolism decreases and the senses are dulled.

A person who is in contact with his body does not become depressed. He knows that pleasure and joy depend on the proper functioning of his body. He is aware of his bodily tensions and knows what causes them.

Thus, he can take the appropriate steps to regain a positive bodily well-being. He has no illusions about himself and about life. He accepts his feelings as an expression of his personality, and it is not difficult for him to verbalize them.

Sedona is a method (Emotion Release Method) developed by Lester Levenson. Lester Levinson was a very successful producer when he unexpectedly found himself in a clinic with a whole range of cardiovascular diseases. Doctors prophesied that he would soon die or (and) be bedridden for the rest of his life. But L. Levinson decided for himself differently. He realized that all his problems have their key on an emotional level. Therefore, he developed and applied for himself a very simple and very effective method of "release of emotions."

Most people use three ways to deal with their feelings and emotions: suppression, expression, and avoidance.

suppression is the worst method, because repressed emotions and feelings do not go away, but build up and fester inside us, causing anxiety, tension, depression and a whole host of stress-related problems. The repressed energy of these emotions eventually begins to control you in ways that you don't like and can't control.

Expression It's kind of like ventilation. "Exploding" sometimes or "losing patience" we are freed from the yoke of accumulated emotions. It may even feel good as it translates energy into action. But this does not mean at all that you have got rid of these feelings, this is just a temporary relief. In addition, the expression of our emotions can be unpleasant for the person who receives it all. This, in turn, can cause even more stress as we begin to feel guilty about hurting someone by expressing our natural feelings.

Avoidance is a way of dealing with emotions by distracting from them through all sorts of entertainment: conversation, TV, food, smoking, drinking, drugs, movies, sex, etc. But despite our attempts at avoidance, all these feelings are still there and continue to take their toll on us in the form of tension. Thus, avoidance is just one form of repression. At present, it has already been proven that various emotions and desires are reflected in our body in the form of clamps (tension, spasms) in very specific areas. By the way, the methods of the so-called "body-oriented psychotherapy" are aimed at getting rid of these clamps, sometimes giving absolutely fantastic results, unattainable by medicinal methods.

Even systematic exercises for the complete relaxation of all muscle groups (the method of progressive relaxation) gives very good results in improving the psyche and body and significantly improving mental abilities. Since literally every cell of our body has its own representation in our brain, and any tension in the body, of course, has a corresponding zone of excitation in the brain.

Thus, the more such zones of excitation, the less resources the brain has for normal mental activity. It is interesting to note that, according to this theory, "good" feelings and emotions are almost indistinguishable from "bad" ones, and also have their representation in the body and brain. Therefore, the method of releasing emotions is aimed at working with all types of emotions. Long-term practice of its application has already proved the effectiveness and necessity of such an approach.

This is a powerful method of training the brain to achieve harmony and even speed up thinking, implemented without any technical means. This is the healthiest way to deal with your emotions. This technique has an cumulative effect. Each time you release emotions, a charge of repressed energy (additional brain areas) is released, helping you to think more clearly in the future, to be more able to act in all situations in a more calm and more productive and healthy way.

Over time, by releasing more and more repressed energy, you can reach a state of equanimity in which no person or event can throw you off balance or deprive you of a state of calm clarity. Everyone who practices this method notices very fast positive changes in mental and physical condition. In addition, their life goals and plans became clearer to themselves and more positive.

You should not think that as a result of using the method, a person becomes like an insensitive doll, on the contrary, you regain the ability to experience strong and pure emotions, as in childhood, but without "sticking" to them for a long time. Also, there is no need to specifically practice this method all your life with every emotion. After about three weeks of regular classes, the method is transferred "to the machine" and stays with you forever. In the future, it will be enough just to pay attention to your feelings for a natural automatic release to occur.

Step one:

Focusing. First you need to focus on some problem area in your life - something that needs urgent solution. Perhaps this is a relationship with a loved one, parents or children; it could be about your job, your health, or your fears.

Or you can simply ask yourself, “What are my feelings right now? What emotions am I feeling right now? You can focus on the problem either before or after the training session. you need to work, or what you really feel right now is to go to "zero level", that is, to simply relax deeply (using whatever technique is available to you).

Step two:

Feel. Once you've hit zero, consider what problem you'd like to tackle. With focus, identify your feelings about the problem. Once you have completed the first step, address your actual feelings directly. Ask yourself: "How do I feel now?". Lester Levenson discovered that all our emotions and feelings can be divided into nine main categories, or feelings.

Apathy. Many other emotions and feelings are the result of apathy or accompany it. When we ask ourselves how we feel, we can use words such as: boredom, uselessness, lack of self-care, coldness, alienation, indifference, defeat, depression, discouragement, disappointment, exhaustion, forgetfulness, uselessness, hopelessness, joylessness , indecision, indifference, laziness, loss, loss, denial, numbness, depression, impotence, humility, resignation, stupor, disorientation, stuckness, fatigue, absent-mindedness, uselessness, senselessness of efforts, low self-esteem. All this, according to Levenson, is a kind of apathy.

Woe. We can use words such as: abandonment, resentment, guilt, mental anguish, shame, betrayal, despondency, deceit, constraint, helplessness, heartache, rejection, loss, longing, loss, sadness, misunderstanding, breakup, pity, I am unhappy , repentance, rejection, remorse, sadness.

Fear. Varieties of fear include: anxiety, preoccupation, caution, forethought, cowardice, suspicion, timidity, foreboding, confusion, anxiety, nervousness, panic, fright, unsteadiness, shyness, skepticism, stage fright, tension, driven out.

Passion. This is the "I want" emotion. We can feel: anticipation (premonition), craving, need, desire, wandering, controllability, envy, futility, greed, impatience, manipulativeness, neediness, obsession, pressure, ruthlessness, selfishness, malice.

Anger. We can feel: aggressiveness, irritation, reasoning, defiance, exactingness, disgust, ferocity, futility, fury, hatred, intolerance, jealousy, insanity, significance, insult, rebelliousness, resentment, indignation, rudeness, bitterness, severity, stubbornness, stubbornness, sullenness, vindictiveness, anger, rage.

Pride. We can feel: exclusivity, arrogance, arrogance, boastfulness, giftedness, contempt, insolence, criticalness, choosiness, condemnation, righteousness, inflexibility, pride, snobbery, luck, superiority, unforgivability, vanity.

Bravery. The types of feelings can be the following: enterprise, adventurousness, liveliness, agility, competence, purposefulness, awareness, confidence, creativity, audacity, courage, courage, determination, energy, happiness, independence, love, motivation, openness, faithful, positivism, resourcefulness, self-sufficiency, stability, solid, strength.

Acceptance (approval). We can feel: balance, beauty, compassion, pleasure, delight, delight, admiration, empathy, friendliness, tenderness, joy, love, openness, receptivity, security, understanding, surprise.

World. We can feel: peace of mind, balance, completeness, freedom, fulfillment, perfection, purity, peace, serenity, tranquility (lack of physical tension), integrity.

Step three:

Identify your feelings. Now, with this list in mind, determine how you really feel. Open yourself, become aware of your physical sensations - do you feel tightness in your chest? Stomach tension? Feeling of heaviness? Heartbeat? As you become aware of your physical sensations, use them as key points to explore your feelings. What word comes to your mind?

When this word comes to mind, try to determine which of these nine categories your feeling belongs to. Levenson found that the process of releasing feelings is much more effective when feelings are released in their most "pure" or "distilled" form, as one of the nine designated words. For example, while exploring your problem area, you may decide that your feelings are "hesitation" or "anxiety".

You can then release your indecision or anxiety and feel some relief. However, if you trace these feelings back to their source, you will find that they are more in the category of fear than indecision and anxiety. By releasing your fear, you will find that the results are much more dramatic and powerful. It's like attacking a problem at the root, or pinching off only a portion of the top branches.

Step four:

Feel Your Feelings. Once you have identified your true feelings about your chosen problem area and traced them to the bottom, begin to feel your feelings. Let them fill your entire body and mind. If it is grief, you may burst into tears or even sob. If it is anger, you may feel your blood boil, your breathing change, and your body tense up. This is wonderful - this is the time to fully experience your feelings and emotions.

Step five:

Could you? Now that you're really feeling your feelings about a problem area in your life, ask yourself, "Will I be able to let go of these feelings?" In other words, is it physically and emotionally possible for you to let these feelings leave you right now? Think about it.

Begin to realize the deep difference between yourself - your "I" and what this very "I" feels now. Sometimes you may feel that your feelings are some kind of energy charge that is in the same place as your body, but in fact, is not your body. Or is it a shadow image that is slightly out of focus, unlike your real self.

In one way or another, at some point, you will clearly feel that your feelings are not really your feelings. And as you begin to feel the difference between your feelings and your "I", you may notice that it is now possible for you to let go of those feelings. If it is still unacceptable for you to part with these feelings, feel them for a while. Sooner or later you will reach a point where you can say to yourself, "Yes, I could let go of these feelings."

Step six:

Will you let them go? If you could let go of these feelings, the next question you would ask yourself would be, "Will I let go of these feelings?" Think about it again. Often, having a full opportunity to "let go of feelings" we, in fact, rather "choke" for them. You may find yourself thinking, "No, I'd rather keep these feelings than get rid of what I'm feeling right now." If so, then continue to feel what you feel now. Sooner or later, you will reach a point where you can honestly admit to yourself: "Yes, I would let these feelings go."

Seventh step:

When? If you were to let go of your feelings, the next question you would ask yourself is "When?" Similar to the previous steps, at a certain point you will respond, "I would let these feelings go now."

Step eight:

Liberation. When you said to yourself, "Now," let go of your feelings. Just let them go. In most cases, you will actually feel a physical and emotional release when you let them go. You may suddenly burst out laughing.

You may feel as if a heavy burden has been lifted off your shoulders. You may feel a sudden wave of cold run through you. Such a reaction means that all the energy accumulated as a result of experiencing these feelings is now released and became available to you, as a result of the release of feelings that you just did.

Step nine:

Repetition. When you release your feelings, you will want to test yourself: "Are you feeling any feelings?" If any feelings are still present, then go through the whole process again. Quite often, release is like opening a faucet. You free one and immediately another appears.

Some of our emotions are so deep that they require multiple releases. Release as often as you can until you find that you cannot detect any sign of emotion in yourself.

Liberation of desires.

After sufficient practice of releasing emotions, moving from specific feelings to one of the nine basic emotions in each session, you may find that it is even more useful to appeal to deeper levels of your "I" - claims of your EGO - desires.

According to Levinson, the source of all our emotions, broken down by us into 9 basic categories, are two even deeper levels - desires. I - desire for approval, self-affirmation; II - the desire to control. Each act of desire is an indicator that you do not have what you want. In the words of Levinson, "What we don't have is hidden in our desires." It can be confusing at first: what's wrong with wanting approval and control? In fact, as already noted, wanting means not having. It turns out that often the desire to have something actually does not allow us to have it.

Great desire.

Those who have conscientiously gone through all the levels and want to go even further, eventually come to the conclusion that at the heart of all our desires lies one great desire - "the desire for security." Working through this desire after a while takes us to a new transcendental level, described in various esoteric teachings, as the highest level of enlightenment. A person who has reached this level manifests various extraordinary abilities and abilities.