Consequences of the choice between outcasts and the collective. Interpersonal relationships in a team

Most managers, when asked about their attitude to conflicts in the team, will answer that the latter are undesirable for the manager and the organization. However, you can look at this problem from the other side: such clashes, reflecting the principle of the struggle of opposites at the level of individuals, social groups and the team as a whole, help the institution to develop. What are the causes of disagreements and how to resolve them?

Today, each institution is striving to increase the effectiveness of its activities, and for this, in particular, it is necessary to perform a number of actions in relation to the personnel: to establish a workflow, competently select a team and ensure that there are no disagreements and psychological tension in it. That is why it is important to prevent or minimize conflict situations in the institution. If this is unattainable, it is advisable to use conflict as a management tool, achieving positive results with its help.

Classification of conflicts

There are many classifications of conflicts. The grounds for comparison here may be the source of the conflict, the form of its expression, the method of resolution, the type of relationship in the conflict, the subsequent socio-psychological effect, etc. Let us consider some key characteristics of such clashes.

By direction, conflicts are divided into horizontal, vertical and mixed. The first type includes disagreements in which the persons involved in them are not subordinate to each other. Accordingly, the second type covers employees included in the vertical hierarchy. The third type combines the features of the first two. According to psychologists, conflicts with a vertical component (that is, vertical and mixed) account for a share of 70-80%.

According to their meaning, conflicts are divided into constructive (creative, positive) and destructive (destructive, negative). You can’t leave the first, but you need to leave the second.

By the nature of the causes, objective and subjective conflicts are distinguished. The former are often resolved constructively, the latter destructively.

Conflicts are also classified as official (formal) and informal (informal), which, as a rule, is associated with the organizational structure of the institution. This is where the “horizontality” or “verticality” of disagreements manifests itself.

In turn, the socio-psychological effect of conflicts can be as follows:

— develops and activates each of the conflicting individuals and the group as a whole;

- one of the conflicting personalities (or a group) asserts itself or develops and the other person (group of persons) is suppressed, limited.

From the point of view of social interaction, conflicts are intergroup, intragroup, interpersonal and intrapersonal.

In the first case, the parties are social groups pursuing incompatible goals and hindering each other with their practical actions (for example, ordinary and administrative personnel). Socio-psychological studies show that one's own group in any situation looks better than another. This is the source of intergroup tension and conflict. The main conclusion that social psychologists make is: If you want to remove intergroup conflict, you should reduce the differences between groups.(for example, to ensure the absence of privileges, fair wages).

The second situation most often occurs in weakly cohesive and value-disparate groups. Relationships within the group, manifested in freedom and openness of communications, mutual support, friendliness and trust towards the other side, increase the resistance of such a group to conflicts and help to avoid them.

If such a regulatory mechanism does not work, and the conflict develops slowly, conflict in the group becomes the norm of relations. If the conflict progresses quickly and the group still remains fragmented, destructive consequences occur: general dissatisfaction of the team members, a decrease in the level of cooperation, strong devotion to “one’s own” in unproductive competition with “others”, etc. In this case, the other side quite often introduces himself “ enemy", their goals are seen as positive, and the goals of "others" as negative, the importance is attached to winning the conflict, and not solving the real problem.

The third case (interpersonal conflicts) is the most common. Such disagreements arise because of the personal characteristics of people and their attitude to the situation. In particular, the features of a conflict personality are intolerance to the shortcomings of others, reduced self-criticism, emotional restraint, ingrained negative prejudices and prejudices, aggressiveness, anxiety, and a low level of sociability.

Main causes of conflicts

One of the professional qualities necessary for a leader is the ability to prevent conflicts, extinguish them at the stage of their inception. This is facilitated by understanding the causes of disagreements.

So, Objective reasons include the following listed in the table.

Activity aspect The reasons
Institution management - imperfection of the organizational structure;

— unclear distribution of rights and obligations between employees;

— disproportion of rights and responsibility for the results of activities;

- contradictions between the functional responsibilities enshrined in job descriptions and the requirements for the employee

Workflow organization - unsatisfactory organization of work;

- violation of the regime of work and rest;

- low level of labor and performance discipline;

- excessive workload of the employee, leading to constant haste in completing tasks;

- the vagueness of tasks, which makes it difficult to choose the means of their implementation and leading to the employee's uncertainty in actions

Staff professionalism - low professional level of subordinates, slowing down the execution of tasks;

- imperfection of the system of selection and placement of personnel;

— uncertainty of prospects for professional and job growth

Economic component - imperfection of the system of remuneration and bonuses;

- salary arrears

Material and technical equipment - lack of necessary funds and equipment;

- outdated and worn out equipment

Sanitary and hygienic conditions - unfavorable working conditions;

- violation of the operating mode

Work in these areas will allow not only timely resolution of emerging conflicts, transferring them into a constructive direction, but also improving the management system in the institution as a whole.

Subjective reasons are associated with the personality of the leader or employees. For example, managers can perform such actions leading to conflicts:

1) violation of official ethics (disrespectful attitude towards subordinates, imposing one's opinion, failure to fulfill promises and obligations, intolerance of criticism, inability to correctly criticize the actions of employees, suppression of information necessary for the performance of subordinates of their duties);

2) violation of labor legislation;

3) unfair assessment of subordinates and the results of their work.

Conflict Strategies

There are five main strategies for dealing with conflict. Which of them is better to use in a given situation and with a certain warehouse of the leader's personality?

Style of competition (rivalry) suitable for a person with a strong will and authority, not very interested in cooperation with the other side and striving Satisfy your own interests first. This style can be used under the following circumstances:

- the outcome of the conflict is very important for the leader and he makes a big bet on his solution to the problem that has arisen;

- the manager has sufficient power and authority, and it seems obvious to him that his decision is the best;

- there is no choice when making a decision;

- it is necessary to make an unpopular decision, and the manager has enough authority for this;

- in relation to subordinates with whom the leader interacts, the authoritarian style of management is most effective.

This style is not used in close personal relationships, because it does not cause anything but a feeling of alienation. Also, the style of competition is inapplicable in a situation where a person does not have sufficient power, and his point of view on the issue under discussion diverges from the point of view of a superior leader.

Collaboration style suitable in cases where, in defending their own interests, the leader must take into account the needs and wishes of the other side. This path, the purpose of which is Development of a win-win solution, requires long-term work to resolve differences. And for this, the parties to the conflict need to be able to explain their intentions, listen to each other and restrain emotions. Otherwise, cooperation will be ineffective.

You can apply this style in such situations:

- a common solution is required, and each of the approaches to resolving the problem is important and does not allow for compromise;

- the leader (or institution) has developed a long-term, strong and interdependent relationship with the other party;

– the main goal is to acquire joint work experience;

- the parties are able to listen to each other and state the essence of their interests;

- it is necessary to combine different points of view and increase the involvement of employees in activities.

Compromise style is that the parties seek Resolve disagreements with mutual concessions. It resembles the collaborative style, but is applied at a more superficial level, as the parties are somehow inferior to each other. Style is most effective when the parties strive to achieve their goals, but know that at the same time this is unattainable. For example:

- the parties have equally convincing arguments and have the same power and authority;

- the solution of this problem is not very important for the leader;

- a manager can arrange a compromise, since there is no time to develop a different solution or other approaches to solving the problem have proven to be ineffective;

- a compromise will allow the leader to get at least some benefits, otherwise you can lose everything.

Evasion Style usually implemented when the problem under discussion is not so important for the manager, he Not collaborating to come up with a solution. This style can be applied in the following cases:

- the source of disagreement is insignificant against the background of solving other more important tasks, so the manager believes that this problem is not worth wasting energy on;

- the manager knows that he cannot resolve the issue in his favor;

— there is not enough authority to solve the problem in a way that is desirable for the manager;

– it is necessary to buy time to study the situation and obtain additional information before making any decision;

- it is not advisable to try to solve the problem immediately, since the recognition and open discussion of the conflict can only worsen the situation;

- subordinates can successfully resolve the conflict themselves.

It should not be thought that the use of this style is always an escape from a problem or an evasion of responsibility. In fact, avoiding confrontation or postponing conflict resolution may be a very appropriate response, as the problem can resolve itself or be resolved later, but with the necessary resources.

Fitting style means that the leader, acting jointly with the other party, Not trying hard to defend their own interests. This style of behavior is most effective in cases where the outcome of the case is extremely important for the other side and not very significant for the leader, or when the latter sacrifices his interests in favor of the other side. For example:

- restoring calm and stability is a more important task than the content of the conflict;

- the subject of disagreement is not important for the leader;

- the position of the leader is erroneous;

- the manager does not have enough authority or chances to defend his interests.

Note that none of the considered styles of conflict resolution can be called the best. The head and employees of the institution should use all models of behavior, choosing from them depending on the specific circumstances.

Conflicts in medical institutions

In healthcare settings, disagreements tend to be Occur not between employees, but between them and service recipients. Conflicts can involve, on the one hand, health workers and medical teams as a whole, and on the other hand, patients and support groups taking their side. The level of conflict in the relationship between a health worker and a patient depends on many things: the qualifications of the medical staff, the material and technical base of the medical institution, the quality of the services provided and their cost (if they are provided on a paid basis), the patient's assessment of the objective (organizational, technical and financial side) and subjective components medical care (for example, the level of diagnosis and treatment).

Conflict behavior is often inherent in patients of pre-retirement or retirement age, as well as low-income citizens, limiting their ability to receive paid (or partially paid) types of medical care and treatment with the most modern medicines.

The causes of controversy will vary for different types of medical activity. In particular, in the polyclinic, the main provoking factor is the reduction in the duration of the doctor's appointment, and in the dental clinic, the discrepancy between the price and quality of the service (with a paid form of its provision).

Most often, conflicts with patients are resolved already within the walls of the institution - at the level of the doctor, head of the department, management. However, there is also a judicial upholding by the patient of his position.

When discussing disagreements, much depends on the behavior of the health worker. On the one hand, complete avoidance of conflicts is wrong and practically unrealistic. On the other hand, when getting into a conflict situation, an employee needs to remember its positive side (the ability to identify a problem and improve work as a whole) and build a partnership model of relationships with the patient.

Conflicts in educational institutions

Participants in conflict situations in schools are teachers and management of the institution, as well as students and their parents. Here we can distinguish the following types of disagreements.

1. Motivational conflicts arise between teachers and schoolchildren due to the fact that the latter either categorically do not study, or study without interest, under duress. Based on personal motivation (its absence), such conflicts can grow and eventually lead to confrontation between the teacher and the student.

2. Conflicts between the teacher (parents) and the student related With the organization of training, especially pronounced in four time periods. So, when a child enters the first grade, he changes his leading activity (from playing to learning), new responsibilities appear. When moving from elementary school to secondary school, the student no longer studies with one teacher, but with different subject teachers, new school disciplines are added. When studying in the 9th grade, the student faces the problem of choosing: to go to a secondary specialized educational institution or continue his studies in the 10th-11th grades. Finally, during the period of graduation, the future profession is determined, exams are taken at the university.

3. Conflicts in the interaction of students among themselves, teachers and schoolchildren, teachers with each other, teaching staff and school administration arise Due to the personal characteristics of the conflicting, their attitudes and values. Thus, leadership conflicts are common among students, and in the middle classes, confrontations between groups of boys and girls are added to them. The reasons for disagreement between teachers can be very different - from school timetable issues to a mismatch of personal attitudes. Conflicts between teachers and school management can be caused by problems of power and subordination.

Mediation of the leader as an effective method of conflict resolution

In their practice, leaders must have encountered the need to resolve conflicts. This is where a special mediation technique. The mediator in a conflict situation develops and strengthens the constructive elements in communication and interactions, he does not join the point of view of any of the parties, he maintains neutrality regarding the subject of the conflict.

The technique consists of four steps.

First step - Find time to talk. At this stage, the mediator helps the parties to agree on the time and place of negotiations, while the following conditions must be met:

1) the conversation should be long (two to four hours);

2) the room is chosen so that external interference is excluded (telephone conversations, door opening, etc.);

3) the time of the conversation is determined in such a way that none of the participants is limited by it;

4) in the negotiation process, one should not use pressure techniques (to force another person to give in, give up);

5) if negotiations have begun, it is forbidden to leave the room before the end of the set time.

Second step - Plan an event. At the very beginning of the conversation, it is important to “start” it correctly. The leader may give an introductory speech. The attitude that he must convey is that he does not force any of the parties to the conflict to completely abandon their own position. Together with the participants, the leader will develop a new position that will take into account the positive elements of all conflicting opinions.

Third step - let me talk. At this stage, you need to identify the subject of disagreement and formulate the problem. This will be facilitated by the fact that the parties will fully express their position and listen to someone else's.

Fourth step - Come to an agreement. At this stage, the negotiators are psychologically ready for reconciliation. And the leader, as a mediator, must objectively make a decision that will suit all the conflicting parties and lead them to an agreement.

In conclusion, we note that in practice there is no universal method for resolving conflicts that arise in an organization. The effectiveness of the chosen strategy directly depends on the situation itself. Therefore, the results in eliminating disagreements are achieved by those leaders who own the entire arsenal of behavioral strategies and change them in a timely manner depending on the specific circumstances of the conflict.

I am 19 years old and I study at the University. It has always been difficult for me to connect with people. But it’s impossible to say that I don’t know how to do this: I have friends whom I met at master classes in my profession, I have friends at work, I have online friends, I communicate with several girls from other faculties.
At school, I was an outcast from grades 1 to 11, from grades 1 to 9 I didn’t even know what a friendly relationship was. I thought it was my own fault. Then I went to several circles, then to preparatory courses, the situation gradually improved. I realized that I can be friends. I thought that when I finished school, the outcast would end.
But I entered the University - and it began! At first everything was fine, the girls and I walked together to the subway, walked. They called me several times somewhere - I refused. From the first day it was clear that we had a complete mismatch of interests. I am interested in studies and a future career, and they want to take a walk. One girl tried to get me into fashion clothes, but I'm not interested in clothes. They talk about guys, about sex, about a wedding, about a future family, and I have a career in 1st place. They love to shop, but I don't.
I don't remember when it started. I don't remember how it started. I think it started gradually. But by the end of the 1st course, they stupidly ignored me, didn’t invite me to birthday parties, didn’t like my photos. I can't ask anyone for notes. They make stupid claims to me: "Don't ask questions, you're bothering us!" or “Don’t look for a teacher if 40 minutes or more have passed! They laugh at me openly, not particularly embarrassed by my presence. And in general, when I am silent, I am an empty place for them!
Maybe the problem is me? Maybe I provoke them? But I want to correct my guilt! And if not me, then who is to blame?
Unfortunately, you won't be able to make friends with them. But what to do? How to maintain neutrality? And how not to become an outcast in the next team?

Hello Olga!
Who do you want to be in the next team? Do you want to communicate with people? Do you want to communicate with those who are very different from you and do not share your values? By the intonation of your letter, one gets the feeling that you feel like a higher-class being than your classmates. You are interested in studying and career - that's what they go to university for; and girls are more concerned about personal life and realization in relationships and in the family.
If for you the passion for shopping is a sign of underdevelopment, then why is the sympathy and location of underdeveloped creatures important to you? There seems to be some sort of internal contradiction here. On the one hand, you feel that your behavior is more reasonable and correct, on the other hand, like any person (people are social beings), you need communication, understanding, and friendships. Neutrality is a compromise between these conflicting motives, and I don't think it will really satisfy your needs for companionship and recognition. Working with a psychologist will help you resolve this contradiction.

Sincerely, Elena Livach, psychologist, St. Petersburg.

Good answer 0 bad answer 5

Olga, you need to choose this team FOR YOURSELF, and not build yourself for the team. I agree that it is difficult to choose the entire team at the university. But it will be easier to do this later at work, choosing a company, among other things, according to WHO works there, if you put yourself and your needs in the center, and not the "social order" of other people.

And now - I'm more than sure that there are a couple of "white crows" at your faculty. They are always there - take a closer look. Why are you trying to fit in with a group of "ordinary" girls? Find the same "outcasts" - they will most likely turn out to be much more interesting to you than the "majority".

But for some reason you are trying to adapt precisely to this majority. Apparently, you are not completely sure that "everything is in order" with you? And for some reason you feel guilty for not being liked by the majority. Should they? Who and when told you that you should be "rated" by the majority, and only then will you be considered "socially fit"? This is not true. Read this training, there are many answers to your questions:

http://psyhelp24.ru/kak-zavodit-dryzei/

Sincerely, Nesvitsky Anton Mikhailovich, psychologist St. Petersburg

Good answer 3 bad answer 0

Hello Olga.

The problem of your peculiar role in the team that you write about is very serious. And this problem, based on your letter, has existed for a long time. One thing is for sure - without noticing it yourself, you are doing something, somehow provoking others, that such an attitude towards you arises again. Apparently you are used to just such a role in the team. Why? There can be many reasons for this and this needs to be seriously understood.
You ask what to do, how not to become an outcast in the next team? It is impossible to give an answer and a universal recommendation right away, so that the problem does not become in an instant. I think that if you determine for yourself that you need to solve this problem, then you should talk with a specialist psychologist. Then it will be possible not only to understand the reasons, to avoid a similar situation in the following teams, but also to change your current relations at the University.

Sincerely, psychologist Alexei Bogintsev (St. Petersburg)

Good answer 1 bad answer 3

Most likely this is a consequence of emotional trauma, due to which a barrier has been established between you and other people. At an unconscious level, a decision was made to keep a distance from other people, most likely for protection.

You can remove it anyway. It may take only 1-2 sessions with a specialist, or maybe much more, it all depends on the depth of the problem and how it was formed. Was there a single unpleasant incident that led to such a result - or is it a systematic pattern of interacting with loved ones that originated very early.

From practical advice - master the EMDR method - the information is on the Internet, and work through your unpleasant states using this method. There is also a rather exotic method described in books on EFT by Harry Craig and Fred Gallo.

I will conduct a reception in St. Petersburg on December 7-8 - you can contact me. Even for 1-2 times you can achieve significant success, up to the complete elimination of the problem. As I said, it depends a lot on the circumstances - but it will become easier in any case. My phone number is on my page on the site.

In any case, I wish you success.

Goloshchapov Andrey Viktorovich, psychologist Saratov

Good answer 2 bad answer 1

"Problems of rejection in the children's team"

Tolochko Elena,

YaNAO, Nadym,

MOU "Secondary school No. 2 of Nadym", grade 11

annotation

The need for communication with peers is determined by the specific genetic program of human development. With age, the need for peers is steadily increasing. In every children's team there are popular children and not so. There are active, sociable children, and there are quiet, loners. Some children are so eager to be in the center of attention of their classmates, to take a leadership position, not knowing how to behave at the same time, choosing inadequate ways of behavior, that they seek attention "with a minus sign" - they become an object of ridicule and contempt.

Ostracism is present in all children's groups, even in the younger groups of the kindergarten. Most often, outcasts are children with poor social skills or suffering from some kind of physical disability - "not like everyone else." At the same time, the question of what personality traits are provocative and prevent a child from becoming one of his own has been studied very little. How to avoid bullying from classmates and what to do if they reject?

aim

tasks





The study of literature, articles on the Internet and the questioning of students made it possible to put forward hypothesis

object

Subject studies have become children's opinions about their peers rejected by them.

base studies are students of the MOU "Secondary School No. 2 of Nadym" from 9 to 17 years old.

Conclusion: the problem of the situation of rejection exists both among those who are rejected and those who reject.


I

Introduction………………………………………………………………………

1

II

Theoretical and psychological aspects of the problem of rejection.....

3

2.1

Studying the causes of rejection…………………………………………..

5

2.2

Types of rejected children ……………………………………………….......

7

2.3

Consequences of rejection………………………………………………………

8

III

Conclusion…………………………………………………………………..

9

IV

Bibliography……………………………………………………….…

10

V

Application…………………………………………………………………

11

"The problem of rejection in the children's team"

Tolochko Elena,

YaNAO, Nadym,

MOU "Secondary school No. 2 of Nadym", grade 11


  1. Introduction
We want to ask the society

Is it easy to be rejected?

But life's conclusions are simple ...

You can also become an outcast.

Valova G.V.

When we begin to talk about "secular society," we must proceed from the fundamental spiritual principle that a person lives on earth in order to become an angel in eternity; the aggregate of angels forms Heaven; Consequently, each of us is meant to be part of(grain, atom) of this immense universal whole; therefore, our eternal life will not be spent alone, but in the company of other angels, where each performs his proper function for the benefit of his neighbors, his angelic society, and, finally, all Heaven as a whole. That's why man was created to live in society - but not in any, but in a society of his own kind, and this is a caveat that people almost always forget.

The need for communication with peers is determined by the specific genetic program of human development. With age, this need, especially from 4-5 years old, is steadily increasing. In every children's team there are popular children and not very popular ones, there are active, sociable, and there are quiet, loners. Some are satisfied with a secondary role in the class, others suffer from such a situation, and do not know and do not know how to change it. Some children are so eager to be in the center of attention of classmates, to take a leadership position, that they seek attention "with a minus sign" become the object of ridicule and contempt.

Ostracism is present in all children's groups, even in the younger groups of the kindergarten. According to statistics, every 5th child in the team is a loner, every 3rd one tries to change his status in society and takes various ways to gain the respect of others, and every second child who was rejected by his peers resigns himself to his fate and tries to remain in the status loners.

In all cases of rejection, the problems lie not only in the team, but also in the characteristics of the individual, the behavior of the rejected. Research by psychologist Rosalind Weissman shows that bullying is primarily triggered by the victim's provocative behavior. Most often, outcasts are children with poor social skills or suffering from some kind of physical disability - "not like everyone else." The second reason most often leading to isolation is the aggressiveness of the child. However, very little research has been done on the question of what kind personality traits are provocative. Does age affect reason rejection? How avoid bullying from classmates what what to do if rejected?

aim This work is to study the psychological aspects of the problem of rejection in the children's team.

The skill of collectivism is the most important quality, without which a person cannot live normally in society. After all, on how strong and strong the collective charge


in the personality, his whole future life depends both in the family and in the student (labor) team.

This target setting predetermined tasks research and the content structure of the work itself:


  • to determine the psychological aspects of the problem of rejection in the children's team;

  • study the methodology of sociometric survey;

  • reveal the causes and consequences of ostracism, analyze the relevance of this problem among the rejected;

  • create a bank of exercises and games for team building.
Own observations, the study of literature, Internet articles and the questioning of students made it possible to put forward hypothesis : the causes and consequences of rejecting a child depend on the rejected person and his provoking behavior.

object studies are personality traits with low social status in the team.

Subject research - children's opinions about rejected peers.

Base research - students of the MOU "Secondary School No. 2
Nadym" from 9 to 17 years.

Research methods - observations, psychodiagnostics (questionnaire survey); data processing (qualitative and quantitative analysis).

practical significance We see our work in generalizing the features of ostracism in the children's team, in revealing the reasons for rejection at various age stages and in creating preventive recommendations.

II. Theoretical and psychological aspects of the problem of rejection

Biographies of famous people, examples from fiction, own observations suggest that any children's team has its own outcasts. In every person there lives such a feeling as rejection. We reject someone or someone rejects us. Almost always people reject each other forcibly (resentment, withdrawal, closeness from others and secrecy).

In the psychological dictionary rejection is a psychological syndrome that develops in adolescence and manifests itself in a hostile attitude
in relation to society, deviant behavior, gross violations of communication as
with adults as well as with peers. The basis for the formation of rejection is often social disorientation. The interpersonal situation of development in case of rejection is determined by the opposition of a teenager to society, covering all the main life spheres: family, school, educational, communicative. The confrontation is active and mutual. The psychological profile with rejection is characterized by the idea of ​​an unfair structure of the world and the self-consciousness of an outcast rejected by society. rejection - "a pronounced psychopathic psychological syndrome that seriously disrupts the social adaptation of a teenager"
(A.L. Wenger).

From a very early age, the child begins to reach out to communicate with peers. Emotional exchange in play and communication, and closer to school age, the establishment of stable friendly attachments allows the child to solve important developmental tasks: to master communication skills, to explore himself and his own characteristics, opportunities, to receive recognition from others. At school age, when a child begins to form conscious ideas about himself, "feedback" from peers, their reaction to it becomes one of the factors of self-esteem. The child also begins to feel the need for affection, community and understanding not only with parents, but also with friends. But in the lives of many children there are situations when they feel


not accepted in the team and are deeply affected by either hostile or indifferent attitude towards themselves on the part of the group of peers, and this is confirmed by our psychological study.

In total, the study involved 267 people: 124 people - schoolchildren 9-10 years old; 88 people - schoolchildren aged 11-14; 55 people are schoolchildren aged 15-17 (Table 1).

Table 1

resultsstudy of social status in class groups


Class/
number of respondents




Class/
number of respondents


Number of children with signs of rejection

Class/
number of respondents


Number of children with signs of rejection

2a - 25

1 - rejected,

6 partially rejected,

2 ignored


6a - 25

2 - rejected,

1 - partially rejected,

3 - ignored


9g - 19

1 - rejected,

1 partially rejected,

2 ignored


2b - 25

0 - rejected,

1 - partially rejected,

10 - ignored


6c - 13

1 - rejected

0 - partially rejected,

0 - ignored


10a - 15

1 - rejected,

5 partially rejected,

0 ignored


3b - 16

0 - rejected,

1 - partially rejected,

3 - ignored


6d - 9

0 - rejected

3 - partially rejected,

1 - ignored


10b - 21

0 - rejected,

5 - partially rejected,

0 - ignored


4b - 21

1 - rejected,

2 - partially rejected,

5 - ignored


7a - 23

2 - rejected

5 - partially rejected,

1 - ignored


5a - 14

2 - rejected,

1 partially rejected,

1 ignored


7b - 18

1 - rejected,

3 - partially rejected,

0 - ignored


5b - 23

1 - rejected,

3 - partially rejected,

0 - ignored


Total 124

5 - rejected,

14 - partially rejected,

21 - ignored



Total 88

6 - rejected,

12 - partially rejected,

5 - ignored



Total 55

2 - rejected,

11 - partially rejected,

0 - ignored



Conclusion: In the study groups, most participants have a more or less favorable status. The average level of relationship well-being means the well-being of team members in the system of interpersonal relations, their satisfaction in communication, recognition by peers. Studies show the presence in each classroom team, on average, 1-2 leaders, 5-6 ignored and partially rejected. Analyzing the results of social status, we came to the conclusion that in the middle school age there are more ignored and rejected than in the senior,
but less than in the younger. This suggests that, compared with the junior team, adolescent teams are much better structured, the existing system of relations is more stable and constant.

2.1 Exploring the causes of rejection

According to many psychological studies, a child can be rejected by peers for various reasons:


  • External untidiness. In people with physical disabilities, this problem is worth
    at the first place. Such people are rejected not only by the society in which they live, they also reject themselves. Many people with physical disabilities are closed, their world is closed. And as a result - such people remain lonely for life. The thought that no one needs them corrodes them from the inside, and this is ordinary self-pity, which turns into chronic rejection.

  • Ignorancestereotypes and unspoken rules specifically for children's communication, adopted
    in this community.
    Children who have grown up among adults and spend virtually all their lives among them are sometimes unfamiliar even with the vocabulary and terminology used by their peers, and literally cannot find a common language with them.

  • Disorientationin social relationships. The child does not understand the correlation of social roles in the team, it is not clear to him why it is not always possible to express his opinion, he sees no reason to follow the orders of the "leader" and, most importantly, has no idea what it threatens him with. And when ridicule or aggression falls upon him, he does not catch the connection between his actions and the reaction of the children around him. It's just a lack of social experience.
The lack of social experience, combined with such character traits that prevent its accumulation (shyness or aggressiveness), leads to a lack of gaming experience and, as a result, to rejection.

  • Gap in family education. A child who is not accepted into the game calls
    parents have only irritation, even some shame for him. Often the parent's reaction
    on the child's failures in communication - this is care and avoidance of a problem situation. They take him away from the company that did not accept him home, where there are toys, books, a computer, coloring books, mom - only there are no friends there, and it will never be as fun as playing together.
So it turns out that the child does not know how to play, does not understand a partner, all the time confuses role-playing and real relationships and statements, takes offense at them. There is a game
and social immaturity, unwillingness to play together. But the rest to teach him
they won’t, the law here is simple: if you don’t know how, leave.

In 1981 American psychologists Achenbach and Edelbrock conducted a study, the results of which showed that the reasons for rejection can be:


  • significant cultural, social, national differences between the child
    and surroundings;

  • low self-esteem, expectation of rejection by others;

  • insufficiently developed social skills;

  • reproduction of the victim's behavior model;

  • spontaneity and impulsivity.
Understanding the reasons for the rejection and isolation of individual members of the group requires a systematic psychological analysis. It is important to understand what is the root cause:
in certain personal characteristics of a person, features and traditions of family life, low self-esteem caused by negative past communication experience, etc.

Exploring this aspect, we developed a questionnaire and interviewed 260 people: 70 people - schoolchildren 9-10 years old; 76 people - schoolchildren aged 11-14; 64 people are schoolchildren aged 15-17, 50 are adults (Table 2).

table 2


about the reasons for the rejection of the individual in the team


Questions

Answers

Pupils
9-10 years old


Pupils
11-14 years old


Pupils
15-17 years old


adults

  1. Are there people in your team with whom you do not want to communicate?

Yes - 70 (100%)

No - 0


Yes - 70 (92%)

No - 6 (8%)



Yes - 58 (91%)

No - 6 (9%)



Yes - 42 (84%)

No - 8 (12%)



  1. What turns you off in them?

19

14

9

  • Appearance

  • Poor academic performance

26

10

4

  • Behavior

35

39

  • Individual characteristics

-

  • Life position

-

6

27

16

  • Passivity

-

42

22

  • Aggression, anger

13

28

  1. What would you suggest to them to change in themselves?

Behavior,

Attitude towards learning



Character,

style,


behavior,

be more fun

lie less,


To be easier

attitude towards people

be more patient

To be youreself,

character,

interests.



attitude towards people

self attitude,

become confident.

Conclusion: The older the age, the greater the differences between one and the other reasons for rejection. It was revealed that the internal need for communication, the motives of affiliation
(from the English afiliation - connection, connection) - the desire to be in the company of other people, a person's need to create warm, emotionally significant relationships with other people.), psychological defenses determine the specifics of interpersonal communication. All these phenomena are interconnected, have a gender determination and dynamically change with age.

So, for example, in the age category from 9 to 10 years and from 11 to 14, behavior, poor academic performance and external data dominate.

An analysis of the results of the causes of rejection and isolation of the older age group indicates the relevance of the life position and vital activity.

Respondents of the "adult" group confirm the importance of the personal "I-concept", adequate self-esteem. It can be argued that the reasons for rejection are related


with age-specific individual characteristics and depend on the dominant type of activity.

2.2 Types of rejectedchildren

Observations of rejected children show that they themselves do a lot to become victims of attacks. As already mentioned, they can be intrusive, inadequate, easily succumb to the provocations of classmates, give out the expected reactions. Naturally, it is interesting to offend someone who rushes with his fists


on others after any innocent remark addressed to him, who starts to cry if he is teased a little, etc. (Attachment 1)

In any group, at any age level, there is a social situation of development in which everyone, playing his role, chooses the tactics of behavior. It is important to realize possible mistakes in behavior at different age stages in order to correct them. The results of the survey of respondents are shown in Table 3.

Table 3

The result of a survey of respondents of different age groups
about the characteristics of rejected people

Questions


Answers

Pupils
9-10 years old


Pupils
11-14 years old


Pupils
15-17 years old


adults

  1. What kind of people do you not communicate with?

With classmates who are sneaking around

tease

study poorly,

does not listen to the teacher.


With classmates who are bored,

not interested,

who are very smart

not like everyone else, humiliate others,

who have bad behavior.


With classmates who have different interests, who

uncommunicative,

inactive,

closed

selfish, arrogant..


With the arrogant

not reliable, which can be called weak,

callous, cruel, liars, traitors.

Conclusion: Rejection is a relationship barometer, not how people treat you, but how you treat people yourself. You will not be rejected by other people and lonely if you learn to be an interesting, smart and funny person, learn to be compassionate and communicate, change your behavior and learn to respect others and yourself.
2.3 Consequences of rejection

The desire to become one's own in the team, to win the respect of classmates can push the child to obscene acts. The rejected person is able to come up with anything to attract attention to himself. He boasts of non-existent relatives, they invent their relationship with some famous person. In most cases, others require proof, and the child begins to "get out", he has to lie more and more, and he is completely confused.

The lack of social recognition and communication is compensated by the search for an out-of-school circle of peers, which is characterized by illegal behavior. Bad relationships in the classroom lead to various negative consequences. The absence of peer society has a negative impact on the development of communication skills and self-awareness of the individual.

In addition, the difficulty of relationships with peers that appeared in childhood is often a harbinger of emotional distress in the future. At the same time, outcast children often develop psychological trauma, and academic performance falls. Research by Professor Eric S. Buhs has shown that:


  • children who are rejected by the collective in the kindergarten are also ostracized at school;

  • children between the ages of 5 and 11 who are rejected by their peers receive lower scores on academic tests than their classmates. Their performance in subjects such as reading and arithmetic leaves much to be desired.
Bullying causes irreparable damage to the psyche of the victim. Bad relationships with classmates can cause poor academic performance, unwillingness to attend school, the child may develop various neurotic and even mental disorders. Outcasts are aggressive, uncooperative, destructive, and often unable to control strong feelings. They begin to interrupt their playmates, skip turns in conversation, and become less empathetic towards their peers.

The worst thing is that regular bullying (Appendix 2) can provoke a suicide attempt or an attempt on one of the persecutors. Problems in communicating with peers, rejection at an early age later manifests itself in delinquency, or emotional disturbance.

No less harmful is the situation of harassment affecting the psyche of persecutors and observers. They run the risk of remaining weak-willed pawns in the hands of the stronger and more enterprising. And the decision made under the influence of the majority, contrary to the voice of conscience, and the constant fear of being in the place of the victim contribute to a decrease in self-esteem, a loss of self-respect.

Of practical interest is the question of group members' perception of their status, that is, their objective position in the system of group preferences.

In total, 240 people took part in the study: 50 people - schoolchildren 9-10 years old; 90 people - schoolchildren aged 11-14; 70 people are schoolchildren aged 15-17, 30 are adults.

Table 4


Questions

Answers

Pupils
9-10 years old


Pupils
11-14 years old


Pupils
15-17 years old


adults

  1. Do you feel excluded from the team?

Yes - 12 (24%)

No - 38 (76%)



Yes - 65 (72%)

No - 25 (28%)



Yes - 32 (46%)

No - 38 (54%)



Yes - 0 (-%)

No - 30 (100%)



  1. Would you be able to befriend him if he changed?

Yes - 56 (80%),

No - 14 (20%)



Yes - 47 (62%),

No - 29 (38%)



Yes - 18 (28%),

No - 46 (72%)



Yes - 9 (18%),

I don't know - 34 (68%),

No - 7 (14%)

Conclusion: the least adequate perception and assessment of their group role are the extreme status categories: "stars", on the one hand, "outcasts" and isolated ones, on the other. Average-status people often have inadequate perception, which is explained by protection, low social reflection and low self-esteem.
IIIConclusion

There are different children, with different needs for communication. For one, a single friend is enough, with whom they see once a week, so as not to feel lonely and proudly considers: "I have a friend." And it’s bad for another if around him


a whole noisy company does not swirl, where everyone obeys his word and even gesture.

In those children who are not perceived by their peers, there is always something that can alienate others, provoke attacks from them. Rejected children are not like the rest, most often children with obvious problems in behavior and character become rejected. The situation of rejection is conditioned by two positions of the one who rejects and the one who is rejected.

In the first case, the rejection of the position of the other arises due to the low plasticity of communicative functions in certain age periods and due to an unresolved intrapersonal conflict between the conscious and the subconscious, between the "I-real" and "I-ideal" (which you accuse of guilty).

Position failure rejected due to its negative social and ego-identification (difficulties in finding one's "I": "I" - physical, "I" - mental, "I" - social, etc.).

Our hypothesis: causes and consequences of child rejection depend on
from the most rejected and its provocative behavior
in During the course of the study, it was fully confirmed: the outcasts were primarily children who had poorly formed self-esteem and communication skills.

In addition, research has shown the presence of other causes of the situation of rejection: problems in the failure of the personality of those who reject. They made accusations


in dullness, uninterestingness, aggressiveness, conflict and others, that is, in those qualities that are the causes of their intrapersonal conflict between the conscious and the unworked subconscious.

It can be concluded that the problem of the situation of rejection exists both among the rejected and


and those who reject. Therefore, our recommendations will be addressed to both the first and
and to the second group of opponents.

Bibliography


  1. Akimova G.E., How to help your child: A guide for caring parents. - Yekaterinburg: U-Fraktory, 2004;

  2. Zavyalova N.A. Your children are among peers. - M .: Knowledge, 1981;

  3. Zimbardo F., Leippe M. Social influence - St. Petersburg: Piter Publishing House, 2004 reasons for rejection:

  4. Popov V.S. Soul awakening. - M.: Knowledge, 1990;

  5. Starobinsky E.E., “How to manage a team”, - M .: 1995

  6. Helen Bee Development of the child. – 9 edition. - St. Petersburg: Peter, 2004

  7. Chufarovsky Yu.V. Psychology of communication in the formation and formation of personality. - M., 2002.

  8. Schneider L.B. Identification. Reader - M .: Publishing house of the Moscow Psychological and Social Institute; Voronezh: NPO MODEK Publishing House, 2003.

  9. www.gorod-psy.ru

  10. www.abcwoman.ru

  11. www.effecton.ru

  12. www.michaelglebov.ru Mikhail Glebov Relations between the team and the individual

  13. http://adalin.mospsy.ru Outcast children: psychological work with the problem
Attachment 1

Types of rejected children who are most often attacked.


  • "Beloved". Janusz Korczak wrote: “Children do not like those peers who are singled out by teachers. Especially if they can't figure out why "favorite" is better than them." Adults, knowing about the difficult fate of their ward, pity and take under their protection and patronage, thereby dooming them to complete loneliness and endless insults from classmates who do not know the reason for such an attitude towards him.

  • "Stuck." American psychologist Violet Oaklander believes that such importunity is the result of a child's feeling of insecurity. Such children literally hang on people, grabbing them physically in order to feel more secure.

  • "Jester". A child who has chosen such a tactic of behavior, as it were, prevents attacks from others. He is no longer taken seriously and therefore is not particularly offended. Such a child, even hearing the laughter of peers, does not feel lonely.
The literature describes two more types of children whom no one specifically offends,
does not tease, they are not bullied, but they are rejected, they become lonely in the circle of classmates.

  • Embittered children who fail to establish contact with their peers begin to behave as if they are taking revenge on others for their failures.

  • Unpopular not able to initiate communication, shy, do not know
    how to attract the attention of classmates, so they are not noticed. Often this happens when a child has come to an already established team or often skips school.
Annex 2

Types of rejection

There are different children, with different needs for communication. A single friend is enough for one, with whom they see once a week, so as not to feel lonely and proudly consider: "I have a friend." And it’s bad for the other if a whole noisy company does not swirl around him, where everyone obeys his word and even gesture.

It is possible to single out several types of rejection, all of which, to a greater or lesser extent, make the school life of the rejected child unbearable.


  • Bullying - the child is not allowed to pass, they are called names, beaten, persecuted. Purpose: revenge, fun and more.

  • Active rejection - arises in response to the initiative coming from the rejected child, they make it clear that he is nobody, his opinion means nothing.

  • Passive rejection- arises in situations when you need to choose someone for the team, accept into the game, sit down at the desk, in such cases, the children usually refuse, saying: “I won’t be with him!”.

  • Ignoring- they simply do not pay attention to the child, do not communicate, do not notice, have nothing against, but are not interested either.

  • moral violence- Verbal attacks from peers. Moral violence can include threats of physical violence, blackmail. Blackmail is most often associated with a threat to tell adults about something, to give them some offense of the victim if she does not comply with the requirements of the persecutor.

  • Name calling - psychologist M.V. Osorina writes: “Name calling is always a test of the child’s “I” for psychological strength.” It is the name-calling from peers that most often complain of outcast children.

  • Nicknames and teasers - Why do children so willingly and often repeat hurtful words? Firstly, they are attracted by the emotionality with which these words are pronounced by the people around them. A swearing person usually “radiates” boundless self-confidence, his gestures are very expressive, a certain excitement and tension arise around him. Secondly, seeing that such words shock, anger and upset the person to whom they are addressed, children begin to use them to annoy and tease others.
Appendix 3
Dear Respondent,

please take part in our scientific research and answer the questions honestly

We guarantee the anonymity of the survey


  1. Are there students in your class with whom you do not communicate? NOT REALLY

  2. Why don't you communicate with them?________________________________________________

  3. Would you like to exclude them from the class? NOT REALLY

  4. What repulses you about them (select):

  5. Would you be able to befriend him if he changed? NOT REALLY

  6. What would you suggest that they change in themselves? ______________________________________________

  7. If you were rejected and knew the reasons for this, would you change your character traits, principles? NOT REALLY

  8. Does the child's social status affect the reason for his rejection? NOT REALLY

Stock
"Let's be friends"


Questionnaire and diagnostics

students

Appendix 4

Team building games

Game "Raft"

Target: team building.

Equipment: whatman.

Instruction: the facilitator invites the participants to go on a trip along the fast river. Whatman is a raft. All participants stand on paper, supporting and helping each other. Suddenly, on the way, the travelers come across a large stone, on which the raft falls and breaks in half. The leader breaks the raft into two parts. The task of the guys is to stand on one half of the drawing paper, helping each other. This combination with tearing paper in half continues several times.

Discussion: Guys, was it difficult for you? What were your difficulties? Would you like to help and support everyone? Could you leave your classmate? And if you didn't talk to him, what would you do?
Game "Brook"

Target: activation of communication skills

Instruction: Children line up in pairs in a column, holding hands with a partner, facing the leading pair. The leading couple turns, stands in front of the entire column and begins to move deeper into the stream. The first pair passes the raised hands going through the gates, and the next one, on the contrary, itself passes through the gates of the pair going deeper into the stream, etc. The leading pair, which has reached the end of the stream, turns along the line, becoming its completion. Each next couple, being in the place of the leader, in turn, turns to face the line and begins to move deeper into the stream. The movement is repeated until the leading couple is in their place, waiting for everyone else to come to their places. Then the next figure begins.
Game "Mountain Pass"

Target: cohesion of the children's team.

Instruction: The facilitator divides the guys into two groups so that the rejected guys are in both groups. I group of guys joins hands and makes "obstacles". Group II also joins hands and overcomes obstacles without breaking hands and helping each other.
Game "Suitcase"

Target: developing the ability to find positive qualities in others.

Instruction: all participants sit in a circle. One of them goes to the center,
and the rest on small pieces of paper write one positive quality of the participant and a compliment standing in the center of the circle.

Problems of school outcasts

Klimentieva Iya Vladimirovna, Deputy Director for water resources management of the municipal educational institution "Belaya secondary school" of the Usolsky district

Irkutsk region

Usolye-Sibirskoye, Irkutsk region

2015

Table of contents:

Introduction……………………………………………………………………….……..…3

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

2.1. Organization and methods of research……………………………………………....8

2.2. The results of the study of the influence of physical and personal characteristics of adolescents on the emergence of the status of "outcast".…………………..……………..….9

Chapter 3

Conclusions…………………………………………………………………………….…….13

Literature…………………………………………………………………………………14

INTRODUCTION

Our own observations, biographies of different people and examples from fiction led us to the idea that in any children's team there are inevitably popular children and outcast children. Sometimes rejected children are simply ignored, passively disliked or tolerated, sometimes they have protectors. And others are less lucky - they are not actively loved. They become objects of ridicule and harassment from classmates.

The cruelty of teenagers towards each other is becoming widespread in the modern world. It becomes depressing that the bullying of classmates is arranged for the purpose of entertainment. According to VTsIOM (All-Russian Center for Public Opinion Research), 40% of schoolchildren experienced all the “charms” of bullying.

The problem of relationships in the class team is quite acute, since the level of emotional comfort of the child, his self-awareness depends on the nature of the relationship. Relationships with classmates largely determine the results of the formation of his personality.

These relationships become most significant in adolescence, when communication with peers becomes the leading activity for the student. And often, if something goes wrong, the child is left alone with his problem. The situation of outsider children who are not accepted by classmates becomes the most difficult.

All of the above determines the relevance, theoretical and practical significance of the research topic we have chosen.

Target research: to investigate the phenomenon of rejection in the class team and outline ways to solve this problem among adolescents

Object of study : teenagers not accepted by the class.

Subject of study : psychological conditions for the emergence and ways to overcome the status of "outcast" in adolescence

Research hypothesis : the phenomenon of non-recognition in the team arises both on the basis of physical phenomena and on the basis of personal characteristics, it can be assumed that the group of these factors is changeable under the influence of external conditions.

Theoretical and methodological basis studies were the theory of age periodization of personality development (L.S. Vygotsky, A.N. Leontiev, B.D. Elkonin), on intragroup and intergroup interaction (G.M. Andreeva, L.I. Umansky), interpersonal relations (V .N.Myasshtsev, I.S.Kon) of the theory of communication (G.M.Andreeva, A.A.Leontiev).

In accordance with the goal and the hypothesis put forward in the work, the following tasks :

    To analyze the theoretical approaches available in the scientific literature to the problem of non-recognition in the team.

    To identify the causes and factors influencing the emergence of the status of "outcast" in a group of adolescents.

    Outline ways to overcome non-recognition in the team.

    Outline prospects for further research and corrective work.

Research methods . When solving the tasks set in the study, the following methods were used: testing, experiment, questioning, documentation analysis. Diagnosis of interpersonal relationships was carried out using the method "Sociometry" by J. Moreno, the diagnosis of personal characteristics was carried out using the method "Shmishek's test questionnaire"

Organization and base of the study . The work was carried out in the municipal educational institution "White secondary school" in the village of Sredniy, Usolsky district, Irkutsk region during 2013. Psychological research covered 145 adolescents aged 14-18 years.

Reliability of the results and conclusions of the study was ensured by the use of reliable and tested methods in domestic psychology, meaningful analysis of the data obtained.

Practical significance of this work is that the results of the study can be used by high school students and their parents. It will also be useful to social educators, psychologists in the framework of pedagogical and psychological counseling with outcast teenagers in class groups, especially for organizing preventive and corrective work with outcast children.

Chapter 1. Theoretical aspects of studying the problem of rejection in a classroom team

Based on the analysis of scientific literature, it can be argued that the psychological content of the “outcast” status includes an isolated position of an individual in a group, preventing the satisfaction of the need to feel accepted by others, lack of support from others in case of personal difficulties, awareness of the futility of establishing interpersonal relationships and experiencing the insurmountability of the obstacles created (A .V.Zaporozhets, A.I.Dontsov, D.B.Elkonin, I.Yu.Kulagina, V.S.Konovalov and others)

In psychological terms, the status of “outcast” can be represented as an awareness of the experience of loneliness, recognition of one’s dependence on the rejecting collective of the group, suffering due to the inability to satisfy the need for affiliation, the desperate use of inadequate strategies (crouching, boasting, aggression, reduced personal claims, etc. )

The formation of the "outcast" status is influenced by a number of psychological conditions. Following A.B. Shiroka, these conditions can be grouped as follows: appearance, strength, success, activity, intelligence. Their selection means that a teenager runs the risk of getting the status of "outcast" if his appearance, physical data, achievements in relevant activities, general activity and intellectual capabilities do not correspond to the content of values ​​in the class team. Thus, shyness (F. Zimbardo) can be the reason for rejection. So, according to the research of Ya.L. Kolominsky, rejection can be caused by the behavior of a teenager who challenges the group with aggressiveness, untidiness, deceit, envy, and unreliability.

Thus, two conditions are clearly identified in the mechanism of the emergence of the “outcast” status, namely

unprovoked rejection,

provoked rejection

In the first case, rejection takes place if the values ​​of the group are not compatible with the rejected individual, despite his active attempts to enter the group. The initiative of rejection is thus external. In another case, with provoked rejection, the challenge to the group is initiated by the teenager, and the rejection takes place after unsuccessful attempts by the group to accept the teenager into their ranks.

An interesting link in the mechanism of rejection is the motivation of this process. Thus, the leading motive in the case of unprovoked rejection, due to the position of the group, is "avoidance of communication." In the case of provoked rejection, the leading motive usually becomes "strengthening one's independence." The third motive, which is present in both the first and second cases, is "protection from influence."

Therefore, the motivational components represented by “avoidance of communication”, “strengthening independence” and “struggle for influence” are an important link in the mechanism of the emergence of the status of “outcast”

An equally important link in the formation of the status of "outcast" is the moral regulation of relations, due to the norms adopted in the team. Thus, the implementation of tolerance, self-criticism, restraint, courtesy and empathy significantly reduces the risk of developing the status of "outcast" in the group. At the same time, aggressiveness, self-confidence, impulsiveness, cynicism and indifference increase the risk of rejection of one or another member of the class team.

In the psychological dictionary rejection- This is a psychological syndrome that develops in adolescence and manifests itself in a hostile attitude towards society, deviant behavior, gross violations of communication both with adults and with peers. The basis for the formation of rejection is often social disorientation. The interpersonal situation of development in case of rejection is determined by the opposition of a teenager to society, covering all the main life spheres: family, school, educational, communicative. The confrontation is active and mutual. The psychological profile with rejection is characterized by the idea of ​​an unfair structure of the world and the self-consciousness of an outcast rejected by society.

From a very early age, the child begins to reach out to communicate with peers. Emotional exchange in play and communication, and closer to school age, the establishment of stable friendly attachments allows the child to solve important developmental tasks: to master communication skills, to explore himself and his own characteristics, opportunities, to receive recognition from others. At school age, when a child begins to form conscious ideas about himself, "feedback" from peers, their reaction to it becomes one of the factors of self-esteem. The child also begins to feel the need for affection, community and understanding not only with parents, but also with friends. But in the lives of many children there are situations when they feel not accepted in the team and are deeply hurt by either hostile or indifferent attitude towards themselves from the peer group, and this is confirmed by our psychological research.

Chapter 2

2.1. Organization and research methods

Let us dwell on the characteristics of research methods. To study interpersonal relations in class groups, we used the method of J. Moreno "Sociometry", which allows us to identify the relative authority of members of class groups on the basis of sympathy-antipathy (leaders, accepted, rejected)

Also used personal Shmishek's questionnaire- which is designed to diagnose the type of personality accentuation, is the implementation of a typological approach to its study.

The methodology consists of 88 questions that require a “yes” or “no” answer. Using this technique, the following 10 types of personality accentuation are determined (according to the classification of K. Leonhard).

We also developed a questionnaire to identify the reasons for the rejection of adolescents in class groups.

2.2. The results of the study of the influence of physical and personal characteristics of adolescents on the emergence of the status of "outcast"

Let's start the analysis of the results by reviewing the results of the "Sociometry" methodology. In the study groups, most participants have a more or less favorable status. The average level of relationship well-being means the well-being of team members in the system of interpersonal relations, their satisfaction in communication, recognition by peers. Studies show the presence in each classroom team, on average, 1-2 leaders (7%), 1-2 ignored and partially rejected (6%).

By exploring this aspect, we developed a questionnaire and interviewed 145 students in grades 8-11.

As can be seen from the figure, to the question “What repels you in those classmates with whom you do not want to communicate?” the majority of respondents emphasize behavior (59%), appearance (physiological features) - 43%. 33% of respondents point out the passivity of classmates as a factor of rejection in the team. The data obtained during the survey allow us to conclude that one of the main factors of rejection in class groups is the physiological characteristics and behavior of the subjects.

After analyzing these results, we selected subjects with the status of outcasts in class groups

As can be seen from Figure 3, 33% of the subjects are characterized by an excitable type of character accentuation, which allows us to draw conclusions about the tendency of these respondents to increased impulsivity. They are characterized by low contact in communication, slowness of verbal and non-verbal reactions. They are often boring, prone to rudeness and abuse, to conflicts in which they themselves are an active, provocative side. The following 33% of respondents revealed a demonstrative type, which indicates the severity of egocentrism, the desire to be in the spotlight (“let them hate, so long as they are not indifferent”). , self-doubt. These subjects often underestimate, underestimate their abilities, they are afraid of responsibility. 12% of respondents have a dysthymic type, they are prone to mood disorders, pessimistic, uncommunicative and laconic.

In this way, it can be concluded that the phenomenon of non-recognition in the team arises both on the basis of physical phenomena and on the basis of personal characteristics.

Chapter 3. Psychological work with the problem of non-recognition in the class team.

In the empirical part of the study, we confirmed part of the hypothesis that the phenomenon of non-recognition in the team arises both on the basis of physical phenomena and on the basis of personal characteristics, which requires psychological work with the problem of non-recognition in the class team. To solve this problem, we have developed a program of work with outcast children. Group psychotraining was chosen as a form of conducting classes.

The objectives of the training are:

    Raising the status of rejected students in class groups

    Cohesion of class teams

    Expansion of personal opportunities for outcast children.

The program consists of five one and a half hour sessions. Thus, the group meets for five days (other options for the mode of operation are also possible).

This program assumes a humanistically oriented trainer who perceives a group member as a free person, responsible for his actions and their consequences, a constantly growing, updated personality.

The program is based on the principle of gradual development of the group and gradualness in a deeper understanding of each participant himself. Each meeting logically follows from the previous one and is the basis for the next in terms of content.

The mandatory procedures that are used at each meeting in the training are:

    Individual and group reflection at the beginning and end of the lesson

    Psychogymnastic procedures.

    Basic procedures (exercises for self-knowledge, self-disclosure, acceptance of all team members, etc.)

    Relaxation treatments

After the psycho-correctional work, we re-diagnosed interpersonal relations in classroom groups using the methodology of J. Moreno "Sociometry"

As can be seen from Figure 4, after the psychological work, the number of students ignored by class groups has significantly decreased. All of the above confirms the second part of the hypothesis posed in the study that a group of factors influencing the appearance of the status of rejection in the class team can be changed under the influence of external conditions.

CONCLUSIONS

Rejection is a relationship barometer, not how people treat you, but how you treat people yourself. You will not be rejected by other people and lonely if you learn to be an interesting, smart and funny person, learn to be compassionate and communicate, change your behavior and learn to respect others and yourself.

In those children who are not perceived by their peers, there is always something that can alienate others, provoke attacks from them. Rejected children are not like the rest, most often children with obvious problems in behavior and character become rejected. The situation of rejection is conditioned by two positions of the one who rejects and the one who is rejected.

The results of an empirical study made it possible to identify the causes of phenomena of non-recognition in the team, they were the physical and personal characteristics of adolescents, and to find ways of influencing to change these factors.

As a result of our research, it was found that 6% of students have the status of an outcast in the class team.

All of the above determined the need to organize purposeful psychological work aimed at raising the status of outcast children, expanding their personal capabilities and uniting class teams. In this regard, a psychological training program was developed and adapted, which made it possible to reduce the number of rejected children from 6% to 3%.

Overall, the study confirmed the hypothesis that the phenomenon of non-recognition in the team arises both on the basis of physical phenomena and on the basis of personal characteristics, a group of these factors is changeable under the influence of external conditions.

At the same time, it raised a number of new questions that determine the prospects for further research on the problem under consideration.

LITERATURE

1. Abramova G.S. Developmental psychology: Textbook for universities - M .: Academic project, 2000. - 624 pages.

2. Akimova G.E., How to help your child: A guide for caring parents. - Yekaterinburg: U-Fraktory, 2004;

3. Dubovskaya E.M., Tikhomandritskaya O.A. On the strategies of the work of a psychologist at school // Social psychology: Reader / Comp. E.P. Belinskaya, O.A. Tikhomandritskaya - M, 2006

4. Kravtsova M.M., Outcast children. Psychological work with the problem. - M: Geknesis, 2005

5. Oaklender V. Windows on the Child's World: A Guide to Child Psychotherapy. M.: Independent firm "Class", 1997.

APPENDIX

Annex I

Training program

Lesson 1. Self respect.

1) Acquaintance. Establishing contact with children.

Participants sign badges. The facilitator introduces himself and says a few words about what will happen.

2) Rules for working in a group.

Then the facilitator establishes certain rules for working in a group, which are necessary for all participants to feel comfortable and safe. The rules are written out in advance on a piece of drawing paper, and after the group has accepted them, they are fixed in a conspicuous place. During all subsequent classes, the rules of the group are in the same place and are reminded by the leader at the beginning of the lesson.

List of rules:

1. Listen carefully to each other.

2. Do not interrupt the speaker

3. Respect each other's opinions

4. I am a statement

5. Non-judgmental judgments

6. Activity

7. Rule "stop"

8. Privacy

Each of the points of the rules is explained by the moderator.

3) Warm up.

Exercise "Change Places"

Participants sit on chairs in a circle. The driver goes to the middle of the circle and says the phrase: - “Change places” those who ... (knows how to fry fried eggs). At the end, some sign or skill is called. The task of those who possess this skill or sign is to change places. The leader's task is to have time to sit in any vacant seat. The one who did not have time to sit down becomes the new driver.

Warm-up, creating conditions in order to get to know each other better, to understand how much they have in common, to increase the interest of the participants in each other.

4) Dialogue and Mini-lecture.

The facilitator invites each participant to think for a minute and answer the question - What is self-esteem? Everyone who wants to can speak. Then the facilitator sums up and talks about the importance of self-esteem for the psychological comfort of a person and what self-esteem depends on, about feelings, such as boasting, which mask low self-worth, about the desire to be a perfect person and what this can lead to. Then he offers to complete the task.

Exercise "Good and bad deeds"

Participants are divided into two teams randomly. Each team is given a piece of drawing paper, felt-tip pens or markers and A4 paper. The task of one team is to write as many actions as possible that allow a person to respect himself more. Accordingly, the task is different - to write as many actions as possible, because of which a person's self-respect is lost. If desired, each team can reinforce the words with drawings of the corresponding actions.

Discussion

Each team presents its own topic. Then there is a general discussion, at the end the leader summarizes everything that has been said. It is very important to pay attention to the fact that everyone has a choice between these and other actions, but each time, choosing this or that behavior, we gain or lose respect for ourselves.

The psychological meaning of the exercise

Children's awareness of the connection between actions and self-esteem. Identification of the very concept of self-esteem and the discovery of its connection with mutual respect. And this is a necessary condition for full-fledged communication, without which the development of cohesion is impossible.

Thank You Exercise!

The participants stand in a circle, and the facilitator invites everyone to mentally put on their left hand everything that they came with today, their luggage of mood, thoughts, knowledge, experience, and on their right hand - what they received in this new lesson. Then, all at the same time strongly clapped their hands and shouted - YES! or THANK YOU!

The psychological meaning of the exercise

Final ritual. Allows you to think about the content and the result of the past lesson, as well as complete it beautifully on a positive emotional note.

Lesson 2 « Beautiful garden"

1.) Warm up.

Exercise "Hello"

The host invites everyone to shake hands, but in a special way.

You need to greet with two hands with two participants at the same time, while you can release one hand only when you find someone who is also ready to say hello, i.e. hands should not remain idle for more than a second. The task is to greet all the members of the group in this way. There should be no talking during the game.

The psychological meaning of the exercise

Warm up. Establishing contact between participants. The handshake is a symbolic gesture of openness and goodwill. It is also important that eye contact occurs - this contributes to the emergence of intimacy and a positive internal attitude. The fact that the action takes place without words increases the concentration of the group members and gives the action the charm of novelty.

Exercise "Beautiful Garden"

The participants sit in a circle. The host offers to sit quietly, you can close your eyes, and imagine yourself as a flower. What would you be? What kind of leaves, stem, and maybe thorns? High or low? Bright or not so bright? And now, after everyone has submitted this - draw your flower. Everyone is given paper, felt-tip pens, crayons.

Next, the participants are invited to cut their own flower. Then everyone sits in a circle. The facilitator spreads a canvas of any fabric inside the circle, preferably plain, distributes a pin to each participant. The fabric is declared a garden clearing to be planted with flowers. All participants take turns coming out and attaching their flower.

Discussion

It is proposed to admire the "beautiful garden", to capture this picture in memory so that it shares its positive energy. It should be noted that although there are many flowers, there was enough space for everyone, everyone occupied only his own, the one he chose. To see, surrounded by different, unlike flowers, yours grows. But there is something in common - someone has a color, someone has the size or shape of the leaves. And without exception, flowers need sun and attention.

The psychological meaning of the exercise

In itself, art therapy is a very powerful tool that is used for psychological correction and serves to explore feelings, to develop interpersonal skills and relationships, to strengthen self-esteem and self-confidence. In this case, the exercise allows you to understand and feel yourself, to be yourself to freely express your thoughts and feelings, as well as to understand the uniqueness of everyone, to see the place that you occupy in the diversity of this world and to feel like a part of this beautiful world.

Exercise Thank you!

See activity 1.

Lesson 3 Development of communication skills. Non-verbal communication

Exercise "Let's line up"

The facilitator offers to play a game where the main condition is that the task is performed silently. It is impossible to talk and correspond at the same time, you can communicate only with the help of facial expressions and gestures. "Let's see if you can understand each other without words?" In the first part of the exercise, the participants are given the task to line up by height, in the second part the task becomes more complicated - you need to line up by date of birth. In the second option, at the end of the construction, the participants alternately voice their birthdays, while checking the correctness of the exercise

The psychological meaning of the exercise

Warm up. Demonstration of the possibility of an adequate exchange of information without the use of words, development of expression and non-verbal communication skills. The unusual conditions that the participants find themselves in include interest, makes them find ways to convey their thoughts more accurately to another person, to contact each other in order to achieve a common goal.

Mini lecture

Awareness of non-verbal body language.

Participants are explained that often facial expressions, posture, gestures, physiological reactions, the manner of sitting, standing, walking involuntarily express the internal state, that non-verbal manifestations are the most important components of the communication process. Awareness of one's own physical "I" helps to better understand oneself - to identify the internal state and feelings, it is easier to express some emotions in physical action.

Congruence, which implies the coincidence of internal experiences, their awareness and forms of expression (sensations + touch + message), determines the reliability of communication, its clarity and implementation without protective mechanisms and barriers. Congruence is a precondition for positive and productive interaction.

To get an idea of ​​incongruent communication, participants are asked to look for inconsistencies (differences) by acting out scenes: for example, say the words "I want to help", "I love you" with a frown and clenched fists (inconsistency between verbal expression and "body language"). It is then explained that the incongruence may or may not be conscious. For example, a person at a party was bored all evening, but in parting, smiling, says to the hostess: “How nice it was to spend the evening with you ...” He deliberately says not what he feels, not wanting to offend the hostess. Another example is when a person, not realizing his own anger and aggressive tendencies, speaks politely, but his posture and intense facial expressions do not match the words. In this case, the incongruence is unconscious.

Exercise "Drawing on the back"

Participants are randomly divided into three teams and lined up in three columns in parallel. Each participant looks at the back of his friend. The exercise is performed without words. The facilitator draws some simple picture and hides it. Then the same picture is drawn with a finger on the back of each last member of the team. The task is to feel and convey this drawing as accurately as possible further. At the end, those who stand first in teams draw what they felt on sheets of paper and show it to everyone. The presenter takes out his picture and compares.

Participants are invited to discuss in teams the mistakes and findings that were made during the exercise. Draw conclusions, then, taking into account these conclusions, repeat the exercise. In this case, the first and last members of the teams change places.

Discussion

Discussion in a general circle. What helped to understand and convey feelings? How did the first and last members of the teams feel in the first and second cases? What prevented you from doing the exercise?

The psychological meaning of the exercise

Development of communication skills, responsibility, cohesion within the team. Realize how important it is to tune in to understanding another person, as well as the very desire to understand another. Demonstration of the possibility of an adequate exchange of information without the use of words, development and skills of non-verbal communication

Exercise Thank you!

See activity 1

Lesson 4 Teambuilding

At the beginning of the lesson, everyone tells what mood they came in and what they expect from the lesson.

Exercise "Find and touch"

The facilitator suggests moving around the room and touching different objects and things with his hands. For example, find and touch something that is cold, rough, something that is about 30 cm long, something that weighs half a kilogram, the word "Forget-me-not."

The psychological meaning of the exercise

Warm up exercise. Develops sensitivity to others, but at the same time activates both observational and analytical abilities. Participants contact each other, paying attention to different aspects of reality.

Exercise "Puzzles"

The group is randomly divided into teams of 5 people and each team member is given a puzzle. (The facilitator cuts a sheet of paper in advance, with some bright large picture into pieces, and thus puzzles are obtained for this exercise). The task of the team is to collect the picture as quickly as possible.

Discussion

Discussion in a general circle. Each team tells what helped or, conversely, interfered with the task.

The psychological meaning of the exercise

Development of communication skills, cohesion within the team, the ability to coordinate their actions with others, and solve assigned tasks

Exercise "Bumps"

Each participant is given a sheet of A4 paper. Everyone gathers at one end of the room and the leader explains that ahead is a swamp, the sheets are bumps, all the participants are frogs, and the leaders are crocodiles. The task of the group is to get to the opposite end of the room without losing a single frog. You can only step on bumps. Crocodiles can drown (pick up) bumps left unattended. You can only step on bumps. If the frog stumbled, or not all the frogs were able to cross to the other side, because there were no bumps left, then the crocodiles won, and the game starts all over again.

Discussion

Discussion in a general circle. Participants talk about what helped or, conversely, interfered with the task. What did those frogs who went first feel, and what did those who closed the chain feel.

The psychological meaning of the exercise

Development of communication skills, cohesion of group members;

Awareness of the importance of these qualities for the effective work of the group;

Develops the ability to make concessions, cooperate and act together.

Exercise "Balls"

The participants, united in triplets, receive the task: first, inflate 3 balloons as quickly as possible, and then make them burst, squeezing them between their bodies. At the same time, you can not step on them, use any sharp objects, nails, clothing details.

The psychological meaning of the exercise

Cohesion, breaking of spatial barriers between participants.

Discussion

A short exchange of impressions will suffice.

Lesson 5 Collage on the theme "Friendship"

At the beginning of the lesson, everyone tells what mood he came to class with and whether something has changed in his relationship with his classmates and in general the atmosphere in the class after our classes.

Exercise "Steam Train"

The facilitator invites all participants to stand in front of each other, putting their hands on the waist in front of the one standing. The first in the column is a locomotive. Everyone except the "engine" close their eyes. The task of the "Engine" is to lead the whole group, so that no one stumbles and does not hurt anything. The trajectory of the movement of the locomotive is set by the leader (right, straight, left, etc.)

The psychological meaning of the exercise

Warm up exercise. Develops contact between team members, cohesion, trust.

Exercise collage "Friendship"

The group is randomly divided into teams of 5 people and each team is given a piece of paper. Also issued a pack of magazines, brochures, postcards, suitable for the subject. The facilitator announces the topic of the lesson and explains what is meant by collage.

Discussion

After the teams have completed their collage, each team presents it to everyone else. The facilitator praises each team, sums up and offers to combine all the works in order to create an overall picture of the friendship of the class, which would become a kind of class mascot.

The psychological meaning of the exercise

Expressing feelings, expanding the idea of ​​oneself and others as talented, unique individuals, establishing closer emotional contact, developing cohesion, the ability to coordinate one's actions with other team members, as well as comprehending and consolidating the experience gained during the training.

Completion of the training

Appendix II

Diagnostic results

Fig. 1. Results of the Sociometry methodology

Fig.2. What repels you in those classmates with whom you do not want to communicate?

Fig.3. The results of the Shmishek character accentuation questionnaire.

Fig.4. Comparative diagnostics. Sociometry methodology.

An outcast is a person with a special worldview, opposing himself to society and not fitting into its way of life. But such a person always has a chance to remain himself and at the same time not be rejected.

Instruction

If you feel that some of the foundations of society are becoming alien to you, do not try to resist this process. Man is an individual being, and the appearance of such individuals, who are called outcasts, illustrates how developed a society is and whether there is disorder in it.

Developing your uniqueness, try to understand for yourself that any person, in essence, is. It's just that not everyone recognizes it. Worries about earning money, spending it on common pleasures, fashionable stylish clothes, recreation - doesn’t all this indicate the presence of a collective mind, the mind of the “herd”, excluding and questioning the existence, unique in a human being?

Not to be outcast, it is necessary to accept the conditions of society. Live by its rules, changing it for the better. Take advantage of the given chance to improve the living environment in favor of a thinking person, a natural person who is part of nature.

In order to join any team or society, it is necessary to comply with the adopted laws, style of behavior, “dress code”, manner of communication. But you can still be yourself. Someone may not like your humor or point of view. Someone will be disgusted by the “color scheme and style” of your behavior and the desire to understand the essence of some, perhaps forbidden things. Don't be afraid to speak your mind.

Reflect on the fact that society certainly has an impact on the life of an individual. But there is also feedback. The extent to which your personality is developed in accordance with the laws of nature affects the people around you, space, and events.

Your position should be life-affirming. If you feel the need, nurture the best in you. Then it will be strange to hear that you - a person striving for perfection - are outcast for society.

Sources:

  • Outcast child in the classroom

In any team, perhaps, there are people who keep to themselves. They interact little with other members of the team. Do not participate in any common affairs and entertainment. And sometimes it is completely incomprehensible how they ended up in a team with which they have so little in common.

The school is also a team. Sometimes even harder than an adult. After all, in an adult team, the requirements of ethics are still observed. What is not always found in children's groups. Children do not know how to tolerate those who are incomprehensible to them or in some way different from them. Over such a child can not only joke, but even mock.

No parent wants such a fate for their child. And any parent will protect their child from the attacks of other children. But sometimes it is precisely such protection, which turns into excessive guardianship, that serves as an extra reason for peers to mock the child. Most often, such exaggerated guardianship occurs on the part of caring mothers. Therefore, from early childhood, impressionable mothers must learn to control their emotions and impulses.

You need to learn how to calmly look at abrasions and bumps. Do not panic about the skinned knees and the torn dress of the girl. You should not make a tragedy out of this and run screaming to look for the guilty. If only because in most cases the child receives such injuries in the heat of the game, when both he and his peers are so passionate that they do not think about the safety of the nose and knees. And only along with the feeling of pain creeps a sense of resentment.

Parents should sympathize with the child, but without much emotion. You can specify what he feels at this moment. He will definitely be distracted by the awareness of his feelings and calm down much faster. So parents teach the child not to go in cycles in failures and troubles. And this skill is very useful in the children's team.

Another reason for the separation of the child from the team may be the inability to defend their point of view. This happens with children, for whom everything is always decided by lovely parents or caring grandparents. Freedom and independence also need to be taught. Gradually, you need to give the child the opportunity to choose in more and more situations. You can start with small household items.

A child who is self-confident will always be able to defend his rights. And if such a child is outside the team, then only of his own free will. And no one can call him an outcast, because, despite his isolation, he will certainly enjoy the respect of his peers.

Sources:

  • Outcast child in the classroom

An outcast is a person who is rejected by society. All his attempts to enter his social environment again end according to one scenario - he is again rejected. Why does a person fall into the role of an outcast and how can he get out of this role?

When the collective rejects the person

In every community, rejection occurs in a different form. At school, this can be ridicule, insults, and even physical harassment; in adult groups, rejection can take the form of sophisticated ignorance, when there seems to be no outright neglect, but one becomes very ill, and everyone else, as if having agreed in advance, play its role.

The outcast becomes the one in whom most of the surrounding people begin to see what they reject in themselves. These may be qualities such as insecurity, lack of success in the profession. However, it can also be any qualities that in this particular team, for some reason, were banned. For example, the boss does not like fussy employees or those who like to take the initiative. If he can spread his mood to the rest of the team, then an employee with such qualities can become an outcast and endure many negative moments in relation to others.

Or another example. There are teams in which an atmosphere of ambition reigns. Members of such teams set challenging goals for themselves and each other and are very proud when they manage to achieve them. If a person deprived of this quality gets into such a team, he can become an outcast due to the fact that others will not be able to respect him and will see in him what they would not like to see in themselves - the lack of desire to achieve anything in life.

Thus, in most cases, it turns out that they become an outcast in relation to a certain team. If the same person ends up in another community where the qualities that are inherent in him are not rejected, he may feel quite good there.

Sometimes in children's groups those children become outcasts, whose parents take care of them too much and constantly control their lives. Also, the reason for rejection may be some feature that the team does not accept - an illness, a character trait, belonging to any social stratum, poverty, or vice versa material security.

In this case, it is necessary to analyze what values ​​are inherent in this team, what qualities are rejected. After that, you need to understand what qualities a person who has become an outcast shows. If this contradiction is insoluble, then it is necessary to look for a new team, or build relationships based on this information.

When a person rejects others

However, it also happens that a person becomes an outcast in almost any team. This is a completely different situation. Here you need to understand what qualities in a person make him an outcast.

Firstly, such an outcast can initially deny many of the values ​​that the team professes and show his disrespect in some statements and actions. This, in turn, is sufficient reason for rejection.

Secondly, each member of the community performs some function, does something useful for him. The outcast refuses to invest something in the team. He focuses on himself and his opposition. By this he himself provokes others to reject him. How can you accept a person who rejects himself?

Thirdly, an outcast may simply not be able to build relationships with society due to his characteristics. If such a person does not respond to impulses from others and withdraws into himself, not having the ability to build a dialogue, then he can also become an outcast.

In life, to become an outcast, a person does not need the manifestation of all factors at the same time. One or two is enough to get a rejection. In the first case, when a person denies the values ​​of the team, the reaction of others may be the most harsh. Whereas in the latter case, if there is simply an inability to build a dialogue, then the rejection will be of a milder form.

Thus, it is necessary to understand the reasons that led to this problem in each particular case, so that they can be corrected later.

Starting from kindergarten, and continuing at school, in almost every group (class) there is a girl or a boy, to whom others treat without due respect, and sometimes even with hostility. Such children are accused of someone else's fault, their personal belongings are taken away and offensive nicknames are invented.


Often, outcasts are children with physiological disabilities, of a different nationality or social stratum, "nerds" and "bespectacled". Weak children become from the inability to fix boundaries with other people. This is due to parents who are very strict, demand the impossible and apply all decisions for their children.


In a learning environment, to be good, you need to stand out and follow the rest. Unlike adults, children do not control emotions and show their aggression explicitly. At first, one oppressor will appear, but if he does not see a rebuff, then over time a group of like him will form.

How can you help such a child?

A common opinion is that it is necessary to change the environment, talk with the offender's parents, connect a teacher or class leader. However, this method is ineffective in practice. After such actions, the child is even more prone to humiliation, and he is considered a "sissy", unable to resolve the issue on his own. Consequently, outcast children must change themselves, and parents only assist and help.


First, find out the factors of bad attitude towards the child. There are problems that can be easily fixed:


if a child has problems with weight - make sure that he eats right, get him interested in playing sports;


if the child wears glasses, replace them with lenses;


if the child devotes a lot of time to studying, advise him to engage in collective activities in the classroom, to take part in the preparation of the holiday;


if the child is poorly dressed, buy him fashionable clothes (normal things for children can also be purchased at stock stores).


It is much more difficult when the shortcomings are not eliminated for objective reasons. For example, physiological abnormalities or inappropriate nationality. Here you need to help the child find a hobby or occupation in which he would have the opportunity to achieve great results. It can be computer technology, various sports or applied arts.


Listen to the interests of the child and support him. In any case, do not talk about how everyone around is bad and vicious. On the contrary, show your child how you can change people by changing yourself first. This will be a real discovery for him.

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