Etiquette is a set of rules of good manners. There are a lot of them. But those who make a career, want to succeed, and who have to deal with elites, need to study them especially carefully.

Fundamentals of etiquette

Etiquette helps people behave correctly in any situation and society, without causing other people any inconvenience. Refined manners, correct speech, stylish image - all this plays an important role.

There are several types of etiquette:

• the ability to present oneself: a properly selected wardrobe, well-groomed appearance, elegant gestures, posture, posture;
• speech form: manners and culture of speech and communication;
• table etiquette: table manners, knowledge of serving rules, the ability to eat;
• behavior in any public place;
• business etiquette: negotiations and relationships with superiors and colleagues.

Good manners for women

First of all, a girl or woman should look good. She should have a neat and well-groomed appearance, clean clothes and shoes, a properly selected bag and accessories.

Of the basic rules, you need to highlight the following:

• Spirits must be used wisely. A strong smell of deodorant or even elite perfume is considered bad manners.
• In choosing jewelry and accessories, it is better to show moderation. A large amount of jewelry or jewelry looks too catchy.
• You can preen only at home or in a specially designated room for this, but in no case in public places. In society, you can only quickly look at your reflection in a small mirror and tint your lips.
• A lap bag is not the best choice. So they sit at the station. It is better to put a purse or a small handbag on the table.

A woman should always behave like a real lady, avoiding offensive remarks, inappropriate flirting and other liberties.

List of etiquette rules for men

A man should also look elegant, be neatly combed and adhere to the following rules:

• Skip the companion forward when entering the room.
• Don't put your elbows on the table.
• Sitting down at a table, first move the chair to the lady, and then to yourself.
• Do not leave your companion alone.
• Do not smoke in front of a girl without her permission.
• In the room, in the presence of a girl, take off your hat.
• When exiting the bus or car, give the lady a hand.

A gentleman must not carry a women's bag, and he can only bring women's outerwear to the dressing room. On the street, a man should walk to the left of his companion.

Etiquette is a historical phenomenon. All the rules of etiquette, which are expressed in certain forms of behavior, combine the moral, ethical and aesthetic aspects of life. The first side expresses the moral norm: precautionary care, respect, protection. The second side speaks of beauty, elegance of forms of human behavior.

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Etiquette as a set of laws of communication

Already in the ancient primitive society, during the joint work, certain requirements and norms of behavior were developed for all members of society. The oldest codes of conduct that have survived to this day were created five thousand years ago. The ancient Chinese "Book of Historical Givings" lists five basic human positive qualities: philanthropy, fidelity, wisdom, reverence for elders, courage.

Over time, new customs, customs, morality appeared. The norms of behavior have been honed for centuries, merged into the concept of "etiquette" - a certain code of conduct, norms, duties that people must adhere to in different life situations.

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Baby etiquette rules

The youngest children already know how to wave goodbye or smile when they meet. Dads teach boys to give a hand for a firm shake, and moms introduce kids on the playground, even if the baby himself looks out from behind his parents.

While raising a child, adults themselves, without noticing it, teach him etiquette lessons, rules for communicating with peers (“Say hello to a friend”, “You can’t take away toys, you need to ask permission”, “The girl needs to be let forward and protected”) and with elders (“Give flowers for mom”, “Go and meet dad from work”, “Help grandma carry the package”).

Later, children will learn how to use cutlery, thank their mother for the cooked dinner, and behave properly at a party and in public.

It is necessary to teach the child the rules of etiquette from an early age. It is a shame for schoolchildren who do not give up their seat in transport to older people. And teaching a child, as you know, is easiest of all by example. After all, parents for him are both authority and an example to follow. Follow the rules of etiquette yourself, and your child will know and apply them.

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Communication with friends and loved ones

If friends constantly send various nonsense (pictures, unnecessary links) to the workbox, distracting from work, then the best way out is to ignore it. Install a spam filter and when asked if the pictures were received, answer no, since they were filtered out as an attack.

If women try to extort personal details, you can either refuse to answer, or be frank, silent about intimate details and not say anything about a person behind his back that could not be said to his face.

If a girl has received an invitation to a party or a visit, but she is going to go there with a young man, you must first ask the organizers of the holiday if it is possible to come not alone.

If, after gatherings in a cafe, friends decide to split the bill equally, you can excuse yourself by saying that they did not intend to spend a large amount today and pay only for themselves.

On a date, I wanted to eat, then you need to boldly tell the gentleman about it, perhaps he will invite the lady to a cafe. But you should not order the most expensive dishes, because the visit to the restaurant was not planned, and the bill can put a man in an awkward position.

When parting, it is better to express everything in person, not limited to an electronic message, moreover, this will confirm firm intentions not to meet again.

Should a woman accept an expensive gift from a fan she is indifferent to? The rules of etiquette leave this to the discretion of the woman herself, but this does not oblige her to anything. If the gift is unpleasant, you can return it with an explanation that it is not possible to give something of equal value.

If a man boasts of his former successes on the personal front, you can safely explain to him that listening to this is unpleasant for a woman. As an argument, you can ask a man if he would like the story of a woman's victories.

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Rules of etiquette when meeting parents

Getting acquainted with the parents of the second half, I want to make the best impression, remaining myself and observing the norms of social etiquette.

There is no need to demonstrate your excitement, you should not try to hide it under the mask of bravado and looseness, it is better to behave naturally.

It is not customary, when visiting potential relatives for the first time, to start a conversation about the atmosphere and interior of the house. Sitting at the laid table, you need to take the place indicated by the owners of the house. Be sure to follow a straightened posture and not relax at the table.

It is not necessary from the very beginning of the acquaintance to be excessively active, to take the initiative of the conversation. It is better to behave correctly and modestly, to answer the questions of the groom's parents. It is necessary to tell about yourself on the very first day of acquaintance only when the owners themselves ask about it.

It would be impolite to refuse the offered treat, otherwise you can seriously offend a potential mother-in-law or mother-in-law. It is advisable to try all the treats offered by the hostess, and be sure to express admiration for their taste.

You need to try to stretch one glass of alcohol for the whole evening, not succumbing to the tricks of a cunning father-in-law or father-in-law who makes toasts and pours alcohol.

Girls should not smoke at the first meeting, young people can smoke only after an offer from the owner.

If any holiday became a reason for acquaintance, then you should take care of gifts for parents in advance. You can not give pets, except in cases where it is known for sure that a certain animal is required. Perfumes, individual cosmetics and underwear are also taboo, because only a fairly close person can study the tastes of the hostess. Shirts and ties are given only to relatives, so you should not present them to your future father-in-law or father-in-law on the first day of meeting. It is better to choose beautiful flowers in a neutral package, pick up a good book.

No need to stretch your visit, you can’t stay too long at a party. Leaving the house, you need to invite the parents of the bride or groom to visit in return.

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Rules of conduct at the table

The etiquette of eating is due to traditions, national characteristics. But the general rules are the same, every cultured person must know their minimum.

First, women are invited to the table, and then men. Late for a dinner party and dinner is considered unacceptable. They sit down at the table, observing a certain distance of comfort - not close, but not very far.

Sitting at the dinner table, the elbows should not be placed on the table, an exception is sometimes made for women, but only for a short period of time.

Buns, bread are taken by hand, broken, and not cut off with a knife. It is impossible to bite from whole pieces of bread, small pieces are broken off from them. Even children are not allowed to roll the bread crumb into balls, play with cutlery, napkins. While eating, do not tilt your head low over a plate, gently bring a spoon or fork to your mouth. You need to drink and eat silently, not champing, not sipping loudly. It is indecent to eat quickly, even if a person is very hungry.

The knife should be held with the right hand, and the fork with the left. However, they do not use a knife, according to the rules of etiquette, when they eat spaghetti (you need to use a fork and a large spoon), seafood (crayfish must be taken with your hands, and shrimp are pierced with a fork, there are special tweezers for crabs, lobsters, lobsters), fish, jelly and puddings ( you can use a fork or spoon).

When Yuri Gagarin was invited after the flight to an appointment with the Queen of England at the palace and offered refreshments, spreading a huge number of various forks and knives on the table, the great cosmonaut was embarrassed. Queen Elizabeth came to his aid, saying that although she grew up in the palace and knows the rules of etiquette by heart, she still does not remember the purpose of all these devices. If at the reception a person does not know how to behave, you can simply watch others or ask for advice.

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Business Etiquette

Observing the rules of etiquette at work, a person forms his positive, reliable image of a competent and knowledgeable, well-mannered partner. Experienced employers pay special attention to the observance of etiquette.

You need to be punctual and time correctly. You can not say too much to others, discuss the employer and colleagues. You should think not only about yourself, but also about the interests of partners.

You should dress according to the established norms of a particular society. Be sure to monitor the correctness and purity of speech. Diction, intonation, pronunciation must be clear. It is unacceptable to use obscene words. The ability to listen to an interlocutor is a valuable quality.

Interpersonal communication in society requires each person to comply with certain norms and rules of conduct. The rules and norms of human behavior in society are known under the concept of etiquette. The main purpose of etiquette is to protect the honor and dignity of a person when communicating in society. Historically, the norms and rules of etiquette have developed a long time ago. In each state, they were enshrined in special laws, the observance of which was strictly monitored.

Etiquette in society implies the unity of a high internal morality of a person with outwardly worthy manners. Only such a harmony of the inner and outer "I" allows you to make a person's behavior sincere and natural.

Modern etiquette is universal and contains global rules and norms, although each nation makes its own additions to it based on national and cultural traditions.

Etiquette contains norms of behavior that regulate human actions in various public places. Based on this, there are different types of etiquette, corresponding to the places where a person finds himself.

Business etiquette - regulates the rules and norms of behavior in the workplace.

Diplomatic etiquette - the rules of conduct for employees of the diplomatic corps in dealing with representatives of the country in which it is located. It regulates the order of visits, diplomatic receptions and meetings.

Military etiquette is the rules of conduct for military personnel that define a strict hierarchy and unquestioning adherence to the orders of senior officers.

Civil etiquette is the rules and norms that govern the daily communication of people. Respect for elders, men for women, between passengers in transport.

The rules of etiquette are not absolute and should be followed according to the situation. What is unacceptable in one case may be the norm in other circumstances.

Etiquette norms are, as a rule, unwritten rules, unlike morality, but their knowledge is an important part of the formation of a person's internal culture. A cultured person not only accepts these rules, but strictly follows them not only in public places, but also at home. The basis for the formation of internal etiquette is goodwill, responsibility and dignity. In addition, etiquette is impossible without tact and a sense of proportion, which should be inherent in every educated person. Disposition to people and at the same time a sense of proportion will help to adequately represent yourself in any situation.

Thus, etiquette in society requires a person to constantly cultivate an internal culture based on respect for the entire society.

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In fact, the basics of etiquette are quite simple. This is a culture of speech, elementary politeness, a neat appearance and the ability to manage one's emotions.

website presents you a selection of current rules for today that every self-respecting person and others should know.

• If you say the phrase: "I invite you," it means you pay. Another wording: "Let's go to a restaurant" - in this case, everyone pays for himself, and only if the man himself offers to pay for the woman, she can agree.
• Never visit without calling. If you are visited unannounced, you can afford to be in a dressing gown and curlers. One British lady said that when intruders appeared, she always put on shoes, a hat and took an umbrella. If a person is pleasant to her, she will exclaim: “Oh, how lucky, I just came!”. If unpleasant: "Oh, what a pity, I have to leave."
• Do not place your smartphone on a table in public places. In doing so, you show how important the communication device is in your life and how much you are not interested in annoying chatter going on nearby. At any moment, you are ready to leave useless conversations and once again check the feed on Instagram, answer an important call or get distracted to find out what fifteen new levels have come to Angry Birds.

• You should not invite a girl on a date and communicate with her through SMS messages.
• A man never carries a woman's bag. And he takes a woman's coat only to carry it to the locker room.
• If you are walking with someone and your companion says hello to a stranger, you should also say hello.
• Many people think that sushi can only be eaten with chopsticks. However, this is not entirely correct. Men, unlike women, can eat sushi with their hands.
• Shoes should ALWAYS be clean.
• Do not talk on the phone with empty chatter. If you're in need of a heart-to-heart conversation, it's best to meet with a friend face to face.
• If you have been insulted, you should not respond with similar rudeness, and, moreover, raise your voice to the person who insulted you. Don't stoop to his level. Smile and politely move away from the ill-mannered interlocutor.
• On the street, a man should walk to the left of the lady. On the right, only military personnel can go, who must be ready to perform a military salute.
• Drivers should remember that cold-bloodedly spraying passers-by with mud is flagrant incivility.
• A woman may keep her hat and gloves on indoors, but not her hat and mittens.
• Nine things should be kept secret: age, wealth, a gap in the house, prayer, the composition of the medicine, a love affair, a gift, honor and dishonor.

• Having come to the cinema, theater, to a concert, you should only go to your seats facing those who are sitting. The man goes first.
• A man always enters the restaurant first, the main reason is that on this basis the head waiter has the right to draw conclusions about who is the initiator of coming to the institution and who will pay. In the case of the arrival of a large company - enters first and pays the one from whom the invitation to the restaurant came. But if a porter meets visitors at the entrance, then the man must let the first woman through. After that, the gentleman finds free places.
• You should never touch a woman unwillingly, take her hand, touch her during a conversation, push her or take her hand above the elbow, except when you help her get into or out of a vehicle, or cross the street .
• If someone calls you impolitely (for example: “Hey, you!”), You should not respond to this call. However, there is no need to lecture, educate others during a short meeting. It is better to teach an etiquette lesson by your own example.
• The golden rule when using perfume is moderation. If by the evening you smell your perfume, know that everyone else has already suffocated.
• A well-bred man will NEVER allow himself not to show due respect to a woman.
• In the presence of a woman, men smoke only with her permission.
• Whoever you are - a director, an academician, an elderly woman or a schoolboy - when you enter the room, say hello first.
• Keep correspondence confidential. Parents should not read letters intended for their children. Spouses should do the same with each other. Anyone who rummages through the pockets of loved ones in search of notes or letters is doing extremely ugly.
• Don't try to keep up with fashion. It is better to look not fashionable, but good, than fashionable and bad.

• If after an apology you are forgiven, you should not return to the offensive question again and ask for forgiveness again, just do not repeat such mistakes.
• Laughing too loudly, talking noisily, staring at people intently is offensive.
• Do not forget to thank loved ones, relatives and friends. Their good deeds and willingness to offer their help is not an obligation, but an expression of feelings worthy of gratitude.

And finally, here are the words of the legendary American actor Jack Nicholson:

“I am very sensitive to the rules of good manners. How to pass a plate. Do not shout from one room to another. Do not open a closed door without knocking. Let the lady go ahead. The purpose of all these countless simple rules is to make life better. We cannot live in a state of chronic war with our parents - this is stupid. I am careful about my manners. It's not some kind of abstraction. It is a language of mutual respect that everyone understands.”

Etiquette, acting as an external manifestation of the internal culture of a person, his morality, good breeding, his attitude towards others, is manifested in a number of The simplest rules and regulations first of all, in Attention And respect to other people.

1. One of the basic norms of etiquette - Politeness, manifested in many specific rules of conduct: in greeting, addressing a person, in the ability to remember his name and patronymic, the most important dates of his life. True courtesy is sure Kind and sincere. . It is one of the manifestations of a disinterested attitude towards people with whom we have to communicate.

2. Other important norms on which the rules of etiquette are based are Tact and sensitivity. These noble human qualities are manifested in attention, deep respect for those with whom we communicate, in the desire and ability to understand them, to feel how we can give them pleasure, joy, or vice versa, cause irritation, annoyance, resentment. Tact - This:

– Respect for another which manifests itself, in particular, in the ability to listen to the interlocutor, in the ability to quickly and accurately determine his reaction to our statement or deed and, if necessary, self-critically, without false shame, apologize for the mistake made.

– modesty which is incompatible with the desire to show oneself better, more capable, smarter than others, to emphasize one's superiority, to demand for oneself some kind of privileges, special amenities, services. At the same time, modesty should not be manifested in excessive timidity and shyness. You should be quite decisive and active in critical circumstances, when defending your own opinion. But something must be proved subtly and tactfully, so that a person does not feel pressure.

– Delicacy, which will tell you how to approach a person so as not to offend, offend him, not to touch a sore spot, but on the contrary, try to help him, get him out of a difficult situation. Delicacy should not be excessive, intrusive, lead to flattery.

– Knowing of limits – the ability to feel the boundary that should be observed in a conversation and beyond which our words and actions can cause undeserved resentment, grief, pain in a person.

3. The opposite of tact Tactlessness.

Tactless in conversation:

- without reason to refuse to discuss the proposed topic;

- to conduct conversations that can evoke painful memories in those present, unpleasantly hurt them;

- allow inappropriate jokes, make fun of those present, gossip about those absent;

- loudly spread in public places and transport about purely personal, intimate matters - one's own and others';

- whisper in your ear, etc.

Tactless in behavior:

– upon entering the transport, stop at the door without thinking about other passengers;

- take several places in transport with yourself or your luggage at once;

- sit in transport, "not noticing" the women and the elderly standing in front of you;

- do not leave a passage on the metro escalator for those who are in a hurry (you should always stand on the right);

- always be dissatisfied with everything, grumble, condemn everything, constantly make claims;

- behave uncontrollably in your own apartment, causing concern to neighbors: slamming doors, making noise at late hours, etc .;

To show idle curiosity tactlessly:

- staring at a person, pointing at him or whispering about him;

- look into the windows of other people's apartments;

- Spread other people's secrets.

Tactless inability to control oneself, in particular:

- act and speak in a state of anger or passion - later you may regret it bitterly;

- show your likes and dislikes too openly;

- go too far in expressing your courtesy and friendliness so that they do not turn into importunity.

It is simply impossible to “learn tact” - it is acquired not only under the influence of the environment and upbringing, but also due to the character and desire of the person himself. However, it is certainly possible to develop it.