What is stopping you from having a happy life? Let's talk about the daily little things that you may have stopped noticing.

Look at your surroundings. Sometimes among acquaintances there are those who are trying with all their might to limit you and actually drag you into a “swamp”, from which it will be very difficult to get out at some point. The people around you should not use your energy for free. You can share it with those who are not indifferent to you, but be sure to receive new energy in return. If you constantly feel low energy after the next meeting with a "friend", maybe you should think about whether this is really your friend or just a person who wants to see you as unhappy as he is.

If you work in a place where you cannot fulfill yourself, or the work environment leaves much to be desired, start looking for a replacement. The negative atmosphere in the workplace, where you spend a lot of time, will affect not only your health, but also your emotional state. Sooner or later, this can lead to illness and nervous breakdowns.

Don't hold on to a place just for money if everything else doesn't satisfy or destroy you. Search. And if you set yourself the goal of finding a job that brings you joy and pleasure, you will definitely find it. And as soon as you find it, make a decision right away, quit and start a new life. You may be limited only by your own fear, but this can be quite successfully dealt with. If it doesn’t work out on your own, seek help from a specialist.

Remember: the fear of changing something in life is only in your head. Life is change. Every day something new happens, but if you limit yourself, then this "new" can pass you by, and you will get stuck in the past.

Do not keep negative thoughts and feelings in your head. Do not return to the past, in which everything was bad. Constantly remembering what does not bring you joy, you lose energy, strength and the ability to think sensibly, which means you stop seeing a way out of difficult life situations. That's when it begins to seem that you are in a "vicious circle" that you have created for yourself.

Listen to yourself and honestly answer the question: what thoughts constantly arise in your head, in what tone do you address yourself to yourself? If you feel that you are filled with negativity, change your thoughts, get distracted from business, take a walk, listen to calm music and start imagining positive pictures in your imagination, with a smile on your face.

Accustom yourself to discipline and order. Clean up on the desktop, in the room, in the apartment. Arrange all things in their places so that you are pleasant and comfortable. Cleanliness and order around will help to form completely different thoughts that will lead to other actions and decisions. They will be able to magically remove unpleasant chaos from life, which causes only stress from day to day.

Learn not to be late for work, school, or meetings. To do this, you just need to accustom yourself to get up a little earlier, prepare for the upcoming day in the evening, start getting ready for a meeting not five minutes before leaving, but a little earlier. Gradually, this will become a habit, and you yourself will see that your mood will also change and your energy will increase significantly.

Your "vicious circle" is just a habit of not seeing opportunities and not taking action. Start to notice and use all the chances that life gives you, otherwise someone else will definitely take advantage of them, and you will remain in your “vicious circle”.

Has it ever happened to you like this: a certain situation happens and you understand that it has already happened? Again, all over again. A woman marries an alcoholic, gets divorced and again finds a drinking companion. Or you borrow money over and over again that is not returned to you. It doesn't matter what troubles happen. If they are repeated with enviable regularity, then you are missing an important lesson in life. And until you learn it, the situation will not improve. If you want to know how to get out of the vicious circle, you need to understand the reasons.

Walking in circles

Why is it so? A person wants to be happy, but instead every time he steps on the same rake. He leaves one job and ends up in another, often exactly the same. And it never occurs to anyone that they themselves attract repetitive situations from which they need to get out in a different way. Then life will check the “lesson passed” box for you, and you will move to a qualitatively new level.

But such a resolution of the situation is not always the case. Much more often, problems continue to recur, and you continue to overcome them with enviable persistence in the old, proven ways that do not work.

But there is another point to be taken into account. Getting out of one situation in inefficient ways, you get a similar one, but with more level and power. That is, there will come a point when you simply cannot cope with it without involving new ways. So life makes you learn a lesson and shows you how to get out of the vicious circle.

How a vicious circle forms

It can also be called the wheel of fate. In general, the definition of a generational curse also fits here. After all, our parents pass on to us certain patterns of behavior that lead to the same results, both in theirs and in our lives. So it turns out that the fate of the child is similar to the fate of his parents.

To get out of the wheel of fate, you need to realize your mistakes and draw conclusions. And it does not matter in what situations the lesson is worked out: in a training group, under the guidance of a psychologist, or in the big world, where the stakes are very high. The effect will be the same. Awareness and forgiveness is the base. If you want to know how to get out of the vicious circle, then you need to learn to feel and analyze. That is, first of all, you need to allow yourself to live.

Why analysis doesn't work

Do not think that no one knows about such things. Most people are well aware that they themselves are responsible for what is happening and that they must change something. And so, we begin to analyze the situation. At the same time, the majority thinks: “Next time I will say this, I will lower my head like this.” The universe takes it literally, as an order for a similar situation. Is it any wonder that you will soon run into her?

But why doesn't analytics work? Because no two situations are the same, no two people are the same. Even you yourself will not be the same when it comes time to implement all the planned moves and say the rehearsed words. And now, you are already thinking again: “Well, next time I ...”

What now, not to analyze at all? Why, just not plan a fixed scenario, but honestly answer the questions:

• What has this situation taught me?
• What lesson did I take away from this?

And this lesson is not at all about the fact that this person is bad, but that one is good. No, this lesson is about your understanding, awareness and perception of the situation, your behavior. It is difficult to tell in a nutshell how to get out of the vicious circle, but we gradually move on.

Stop beating yourself up for the mistakes of the past

This is one of the most important questions. Past failures, missed opportunities - all this gives rise to mental anguish and useless experiences. What was, you will not return. Speaking about how to get out of the vicious circle of life, you need to learn to let go of the past. There are several important points here:

• Accept that then you acted on the basis of other knowledge and a different picture of the world. Perhaps an hour later you would have acted differently, but it was still a different you. Therefore, we did everything possible in your understanding based on the best options.
• Say you approve of yourself. In any case and in any situation, you did the best or the only thing possible at that time. Eating yourself for a mistake will do nothing good for your life, health, relationships, and money.
• Control yourself where you are now mentally: in the present, past or future. When you mentally fly into the past and try to solve a situation over which you no longer have power, you dump all your energy and strength into the past. Of course, the present and the future suffer.

Live here and now

This is also a very important practice to be realized. How to get out of the vicious circle of problems? You need to be constantly here and now, in the life process, managing it. The more you are immersed in your experiences, in the past, the less strength you have for it. But how do you get back to the present? There is a simple technique that works great.

Ask yourself regularly what you see, what you feel. At the same time, list: "I see how my healthy child sleeps. I hear a dog barking and birds singing. I feel the warmth of the sun, I feel joy or sadness, I want to cry or laugh ..." Such simple things allow you to return from non-existence, when every day you have a gray series of events for which you have neither the strength nor the desire.

It happens that you really want to indulge in nostalgia. Okay, but tell yourself, "I'm going back in time for 25 minutes" - and set a reminder on your phone. Now you can go.

Four steps to health and success

Everything mentioned above is very important. It is self-acceptance and learning to live today. Without these skills, it is difficult to imagine a successful person.

Now let's take a closer look at how to get out of the vicious circle of failures. And the first step is to remove the importance of the situation.

As long as you are emotionally involved in a situation that creates a vicious circle, you will not break out of it. Thoughts will go in circles, bumping into anger, despair, which are not the best advisers. Therefore, remove the importance of the situation: try to step back, meditate, or simply imagine yourself as a third person for whom the exit is not too important. Write on a piece of paper the problem in the form of a problem and possible solutions.

Step Two - Creative Thinking

A person is used to seeing one or two exits. In fact, there may be tens or hundreds of them. Therefore, we learn to develop creative thinking and look for other ways. For example, draw your problem not in a plane but in 3D. That is, three axes, each of which will denote one of the components of the problem. Now draw a cube in the center. Place inside it solutions that would satisfy you in all three planes. Next, there will be exits that limp to one side.

Feedback

Most often, a person does not share his experiences, because this means that everyone will know about his mistakes. But in order to understand how to get out of the vicious circle of financial problems, sometimes it is enough to hear high-quality feedback. Don't be afraid to turn to the experts. Moreover, an unfamiliar person can help better, he is impartial, not involved in the same relationship with you. It can offer a new way of looking at things and at once give out a solution that you did not even know existed.

Worked and released

Take a sheet of paper and divide it into two parts. On the left side, write all the options for dealing with the problem that you have already tried. After that, go to the right side and write at least 2 times more solutions that will be new to you. And here you can include everything, even the most unrealistic at first glance. When you have finished writing, put the paper away and do not return to the problem for two days. Then reread what you have written. Most likely, you will see a real solution that will help break the vicious circle.

Cyclic behavior is familiar to most of us. Have you ever felt like you spend most of your life having the same conversations (frustrated, meaningless and destructive) about the same things with the same people? Have you made and broken the same promises to yourself and to others? Have you set but not achieved the same goals? Have you tried to deal with the same problems, habits and destructive patterns and behaviors, and as a result returned to the point where you started or even worse? Have you lost weight and then gained it back? Have you been thrown from an upswing into a depression?

If you say "Yes" to any of the above, then you are a qualified Behavior Cyclist. Now I must explain why I came up with such a term and its definition.

If you have the experience of doing the same things in the same way only to be sure that you get the same undesirable result, then you are not just an expert, but a professional. Perhaps now is the time to get out of this vicious circle where you constantly return to the point where you started. Or, as often happens, even further than the starting line.

The truth is that while most of us know what we should be doing and why, we often work hard to turn the theory of change into a practice in which so many experts are in theory, but have no successful examples of implementation in real life. However, this is the key definition of this lesson: lifelong transformation. Constantly. Forever and ever.

Temporary change is not what we want, but it is what most of us do. Think about what you have achieved in life and then what you have not achieved along the way. You are not alone in this. We all do it, but the question is: how to stop doing it?

Many of us have been on our way to the abyss of doing the same thing for a long time, where we crossed our fingers and hoped for luck, subconsciously expecting to fail, because we have already done this many times before. If at one level we expect to fail, then:

1. Most likely it will happen.

2. We won't be hurt as much when this happens because we lowered our expectations of ourselves and were emotionally prepared for it.

How to break out of the vicious circle of Circular Behavior?

Do it differently

Yes, use different approaches. The obvious is not always universal. We love clarity and predictability. Unfortunately, this is not what will give you height. The number of people who continue to do the same thing is growing, although the hopes for a different result are overwhelming.

Like begets like. Of course. I know a lot of people who have the same arguments for the same people on the same issues year after year...and then wonder why that person or that situation never changes. Maybe 10 years of screams, tears, disappointments and clashes with this person is a signal for something? Call me crazy. Yes, children, it's true - if you don't change anything, nothing will change.

take risks

Security does not lead to miraculous transformations. Security leads to underachievement, frustration and cyclical behavior. Risk is not recklessness, it means being courageous and doing what you don’t want at all in order to get to where the majority will never reach.

Leave comfort

Commitment to comfort is indisputably the path through a vicious circle of cyclical behavior. If you are in a comfortable state, you will invariably do what is easier, not what works.

De-emotionalize the process

When our emotions rule us, we always make the worst choices, take a counter-productive stance, and react in the wrong way. There is nothing wrong with being a little strategist, logical and practical when it comes to planning and creating a better life for yourself. In fact, it is simply necessary.

Start with yourself

The only person you can change is you. Why not start with this? Stop wasting time and energy trying to change other people, because inevitably the result will be the same - disappointment (for you) and outrage (for them). Consciously and without emotion, identify and acknowledge what and how you need to change. Everyone has flaws, even you, and that's okay. Now that we've cleared this up for ourselves, let's get down to business.

Be realistic and practical

It amazes me how many people are constantly waiting for something to discipline them. This is a great stupidity and delusion. Life doesn't get better, we get better. Getting the best results in our lives is our doing. Success doesn't come unexpectedly. We design, build it and live in it. Or not.

Define your triggers

Identify the things that invariably throw you back over the starting line. For example: it would not be the best idea for an alcoholic to surround himself with booze and drunks. It is obvious. Once we have identified what usually pulls us back (which will require some humility and honesty), we can then begin to plan and act accordingly.

Finish what you started

A total and non-negotiable commitment marks the end of what we started, whatever that may be. Why are you always protecting and worrying about your children? Why don't you just do it when the desire arises? Or when you are not very busy? Or tired? Because your commitment to this "work" is total and non-negotiable, that's why.

There are default settings (rules, beliefs, values, standards) in your central computer that tell you to take care of children in a certain way and that is not discussed. Therefore, the results that you get with your children are linear, not cyclical. It is that they grow, learn, adapt, evolve and move forward.

Many of us have work in progress and projects in many areas of our lives. Full commitment means persevering even when the path is not easy or enjoyable. Even when it's New Year's, and you feel like you can afford to relax and consume a few thousand calories that are completely unnecessary for you. (for example)

So, now that you've read this, understood and agreed with it, a legitimate question... What are you going to do about it?

Some people are familiar with the situation when it is as if you are walking in a vicious circle of bad luck and doom. We decided to change jobs, but the other one turned out to be just as unsuccessful, the team is unfriendly, the salary is not high.

And in personal relationships, the same thing - the man they met was a little strange and mean; broke up with him, met someone else, but he is no better.

It turns out that they have only dealt with one situation, as the next one appears, but exactly the same. This creates the impression of walking in a vicious circle.

On August 15, we propose to break it with the help of folk magical rites. Try to jump off this circle and turn fate in a new direction.

What are the reasons for the vicious circle?

On a continuous streak of bad luck, you could have been sent the evil eye, a curse or damage.
You yourself are setting yourself up for failure, because you are constantly in a depressed state, think negatively, and do not want to overcome obstacles on your life path.
Too often show off and show off in front of people, as a result of which self-evil may occur.
Karmic predisposition to bad luck.

The three easiest ways to turn luck in your favor

1. Morning. If you are going to have breakfast, pour tea or coffee into a mug, as usual, but do not drink immediately, but put it on the windowsill for a couple of minutes so that the sun's rays fall directly on the drink. Before you take your first sip from your mug, say:

“Today, luck shines in everything for me. May it be so". Be sure to finish your coffee or tea to the end, do not leave part of your luck in the dishes.

2. Day. If you suddenly feel tired, lack of energy, or some planned business went wrong, correct the situation as follows.

Quickly find some archway or doorway nearby and imagine that this is the boundary between the existing reality and the one you would like.

As you pass through a door or arch, say the words:

“I open the door to a new reality, and I change life, as I need it.”

3. Evening. When you take a shower, repeat the plot:

“I wash off all the negativity from myself with water, and I attract good luck in life.”

Mentally imagine how everything unpleasant that happened to you during the day is washed away with water and goes forever into the sewer. It is especially good to read such a plot when you get caught in the rain.

Vigorous, healthy people can repeat such rituals daily, they will not be superfluous. After all, we cannot be sure of those around us, suddenly an energy vampire met among them today or someone wished us evil out of envy.

Rite with flour from bad luck

This method is simple and very effective, it was still used by our distant ancestors. It is held for nine days, but first you need to take care of clearing your mind of negativity.

Set your thoughts to positive, start every morning with things that are pleasant for you - put on your favorite music, drink and eat something tasty. And, of course, you need faith that everything will work out, if you doubt even a little, then do not proceed with the ritual.

Three times a day (morning, afternoon and evening) read the plot:

“A peasant went to the mill on a cart. Maeta-sadness-trouble fell from him and stuck to me. I'll take them off myself and take them to the mill. Let the millstones grind and grind it there, so that it turns out to be a disaster - not a problem, but flour - full of good luck. As I cover myself from head to toe with this flour, I will invite luck with happiness into my life.

When you read the plot for the last time (on the ninth day in the evening), throw up a handful of flour and stand under its cloud. Don't rinse off today, the flour dust will fall off on its own. Take water procedures the next morning.

@ Oksana Abramovich, writer