Principles of modern information business. Interview with Alena Moroz

The problem that all parents have to solve is “how to do everything”. How to combine work, personal hobbies and raising children? How to find time for yourself, your spouse and your favorite hobby?

Alena Moroz, the author of the largest project for parents in RuNet “Succeed with Children”, and psychologist-consultant Maria Heinz offer an effective way to raise children and manage your time. How to make plans and achieve goals in family and professional life? How to become the leader of your family? How to organize yourself and children and learn to act in a team? How to create the most effective daily routine for parents and children? How to generate positive emotions and weed out the negative.

In a lively and entertaining way, the authors will introduce you to the basics of time management and the skills that make parents truly effective. The exercises will help you apply what you have learned immediately, and as a result, you will find time for everything.

Excerpt from the book:

LIFE ENERGY MANAGEMENT SKILLS

Each of us has faced such a problem: the plans are excellent, but there is no desire and energy to fulfill them. Someone already in the morning feels a lack of strength: you don’t want to get up, you wake up only after a cup of coffee. For someone, fatigue piles up after dinner or in the evening. When you make plans for the next day, you already know that you will not complete them. It seems that there is enough time, but there is simply no strength, no energy. Is it possible to change something in this case, and if so, how?

The energy level can be increased, and modern parents cannot do without this skill. Setting goals and planning time is only part of personal effectiveness. To manage energy, on their own - to generate it and direct it at the right time in the right direction - this skill allows parents to achieve maximum efficiency.

None of us will deny that on some days we feel full of energy, and on others we are in decline. Sometimes we settle a difficult matter in a couple of hours, and sometimes it doesn’t work out in a day. At the same time, our health and lifestyle do not change significantly.

It is these phenomena that have become the subject of study of a new direction in the development of personal effectiveness - energy management. Energy in it is the ability and ability of a person to perform the planned work, regardless of its kind: physical, emotional, intellectual or spiritual. Such a division was proposed by the American journalist Tony Schwartz, who actively develops energy management and advises the world's leading companies (Sony, Ernst & Young, etc.). Energy management gives maximum effect in combination with time management.

The main thing in understanding energy management is the renewal of energy. If we receive energy in a timely manner and give it away in all spheres (bodily, emotional, mental, spiritual), without delay, then we feel full of strength and energy. This process must be continuous. If, for example, we work (give away) too much without creating opportunities for ourselves to recover (gain energy), then exhaustion sets in, and soon there will be nothing to give. We will feel bad and even get sick. Similarly, in the case of excessive energy consumption (through food, TV, etc.). We are overcome by laziness, boredom, depression, if we do not give energy, but only consume. Energy manifests itself only in movement. The faster it passes through the body, mind, emotions and soul, the more strength we have. And all of these areas are important. You can't just deal with the body. It turns a person into an animal. But if you do not pay attention to the body, it has a bad effect on other areas. This means that there is not enough strength to implement everything planned. How is energy generated at all of these levels?

ENERGY GENERATION AT THE BODY LEVEL

Energy at the level of the body we feel best. It directly affects our condition. If we feel good physically, then the head works fine, it is easier to concentrate, we are on the rise. Therefore, if you want to be full of energy, pay attention to your body first.

Five main factors affect the energy of the body:

1. Breath.

2. Sleep.

3. Nutrition.

4. Movement.

5. Sex.

The following recommendations may not be new to you in terms of content, but you can look at them from the point of view of filling you with energy. The result of playing sports or proper nutrition is additional energy for the implementation of your plans, and this result can be felt immediately, and not in the distant future. This may encourage you to move more or eat healthier foods.

Breath

Without breathing, a person can live only three or four minutes. Trained people - a little more. A person needs oxygen to ensure the chemical processes of the body. Oxygen is especially important for intellectual work. Therefore, if you want to increase the level of energy in your body, provide it with fresh air. There are some easy ways to do this:

Sleep with the window open (in cold weather, ventilate the room before going to bed for 15-20 minutes);

Ventilate the premises regularly during the day (remember that this is important not only for you, but also for your children);

Take a walk in the fresh air (while walking with children or on the way to work, consciously inhale the air, as if inhaling the energy itself);

Master several breathing techniques (gymnastics) that will not only fill you with energy in moments of recession or stress, but also heal your body.

Master full yoga breathing right now (you can easily find videos on YouTube). It will take only six minutes, and in your arsenal there will be a universal remedy for stress, fatigue, emotional tightness. Repeat several cycles of such breathing and track positive changes in your condition.

For those who do not have a video at hand, we will give instructions. Sit up straight. Mentally divide your torso into three breathing zones: abdomen, chest, and shoulders. On one breath, fill with air first the stomach, then the chest, then the shoulder area. If at the same time you want to straighten up, straighten your shoulders, then you are doing everything right.

As you exhale, first release the air from the shoulder area, then the chest, then the stomach. Do some of these breathing exercises. That's all! You have mastered the yoga breathing exercises.

There are many applications of such gymnastics: in a stressful situation, it will help you recover - in the case when you feel annoyed with a child or spouse, switch to this breathing, and it will be much easier for you to cope with emotions. If you are tired of working at the computer, this gymnastics will help you straighten up, relax the muscles of your back and shoulders, and fill your brain with oxygen.

Starting today, try to fill yourself with the energy of the air. Immediately after getting up, ventilate all sleeping areas. The best way to ventilate is to open a window (windows are not enough). In the morning, while you go to work or walk with your child, inhale deeply and think that the fresh air fills you with energy. During the day, make sure to spend some time in the air (lunch break at work, walk with the child). If you can't go outside, ventilate the room. Walking before bed is very helpful. After that, children fall asleep faster, parents recover better during the night. Enter a ritual when you ventilate the room during bath procedures before going to bed. If weather permits, sleep with the window open.

During the formation of a habit, set yourself, for example, three reminders on your phone: in the morning - consciously breathe while walking with a child or on the way to work, in the afternoon - ventilate the room or take a walk at lunchtime, in the evening before going to bed - ventilate the bedroom. The next day, be sure to track if something has changed in your condition. Tracking positive changes helps reinforce the habit.

Dream

A person is able to survive without sleep for no more than three to five days. After that, irreversible changes in the body begin, which can lead to death. Sleep plays a huge role in the normal functioning of all body systems. It provides rest, recovery, recharging with energy. Sleep contributes to the processing and storage of information, improves immunity.

The largest study, conducted by psychologist Daniel Kripke and colleagues, studied the sleep of a million people over a period of six years. Premature mortality from any cause was the lowest among those people who slept seven to eight hours a night. Those who slept less than four hours, premature mortality was 2.5 times higher compared with the first group, and those who slept more than ten hours - 1.5 times higher. It turned out that both too little and too much recovery increase the risk of premature death.

For many parents, proper sleep is an unattainable dream. Mothers of young children often have shallow, restless sleep. This gradually exhausts the strength of even the most persistent and energetic parents. Many begin to look for the causes of poor sleep in a child. If it is not possible to establish a baby's sleep, then hard times come. However, do not despair. Try switching from your baby's sleep to your own sleep. You can make it more effective and learn to get five to six hours of sleep.

The researchers argue that it's not the amount of sleep, but its quality. Many parents insist on a certain number of hours they need to get enough sleep (usually at least eight). And in their opinion, lack of sleep is the main reason for their bad mood. Try to admit the possibility that you can sleep less. Achieving maximum relaxation and recovery of the body during sleep makes it possible to wake up as quickly as possible, active and ready for accomplishments. How to achieve such a state?

There are two main sleep rules that any parent can follow. The first rule: you need to find the opportunity to sleep four or five hours without waking up. The second rule: in order for sleep to be as effective as possible, you need to take basic measures to restore the body even before going to bed.

Sleep continuity is very important for recuperation. It is in the first four or five hours of sleep that the main processes are performed that are necessary for you to feel cheerful and energetic the next day. How to achieve this sleep duration if you have a small child or several children who often wake up at night? There is only one way out - to choose the longest phase of the child's sleep for your own sleep. Often this is not the best time for parents - from 20:00 to 01:00-02:00, but if you want to get enough sleep, then you simply have no other choice. If you feel that you do not have enough energy, fall asleep with your child, and wake up at night, do things for which you do not have enough time during the day. This method is ideal for mothers who have the opportunity to sleep a couple of hours during the day or lie down again in the morning. Others may need to look for other ways: get up to the children alternately with the husband, practice co-sleeping with the child (relevant for those who breastfeed), gradually accustom the children to sleeping separately from their parents.

The main actions to restore the body before bed

The body needs to be well prepared for going to bed. This does not mean that you need to devote a lot of time to the condition of the body. You can clean the kitchen, brush your teeth, iron, etc. The main thing is to do it calmly, gradually slowing down the pace. It is very important to find your own bedtime rhythm and, like children, use rituals. Before going to bed, you need to turn off the TV, computer and everything that can distract from calm. Open windows in the bedroom for ventilation. Take half an hour before bed for yourself. You deserve it. You can start with any activities that you do every day before bed: make-up removal, brushing your teeth, etc. Tune in a positive way. You can look at sleeping children, husband, other close relatives, pet your pet, feed the fish.

You need to start preparing for bedtime at the moment when you want to sleep. You can’t force yourself to go to bed, because the body may not be tired yet. Still, don't procrastinate. It is better to go to bed before midnight. And you have to get up early. They say that an hour of sleep before midnight is worth two hours after. Self-efficacy experts (in particular, Steve Pavlina) argue that you need to go to bed when you are tired, and get up at the same time - on an alarm clock. Once a week, you can let yourself fall asleep early with your baby. This rule is especially useful for working parents. It's much easier to make it to the end of the week.

It is very important to finish the mental work. If you still have unfinished business or plans for the next days are spinning in your head, put them in your diary and forget about them for a while. If the tasks facing you are more global, then set aside time in your schedule for the week when you can look for the answer. At this, close the diary and start preparing the body for rest.

Relax your muscles. It is best to do calm physical exercises with stretching elements (yoga, callanetika). It is especially important to stretch the spine, because its muscles get tired the most during the day. The simplest and most effective exercise is to slowly lean forward and relax in this state, you can shake your arms, legs, and whole body a little, then straighten up. Then stretch to the sides, stretching the lateral muscles. After stretching, it is advisable to take a warm shower. It is very useful to relax right before bedtime. The easiest and most effective way to relax is to relax all parts of the body in turn. Express your gratitude to each part of the body for the work done during the day. A sincere feeling of gratitude and appreciation has an amazingly beneficial effect on the quality of sleep and the energy of the whole body.

Scientists have found that a person sleeps much better if he sleeps alone. If you are not ready to evict your husband (wife, child and pets) from the bedroom, then at least sleep under different blankets. In Europe, this is considered the norm. A good mattress plays a huge role. This is really something that in no case can not save. If you wake up with back pain, aching muscles, you need to find a different mattress.

Don't eat or drink a lot at night, but don't go to bed on an empty stomach either. The best food for the night is some unsweetened fermented milk product (kefir, yogurt). By the way, black tea is one of the most powerful tonic drinks. It is better not to drink it at night, even if you, like any Russian person, like to have tea. Alcohol at night is also not recommended, as its processing takes a lot of energy from the body.

The quality of sleep can only be changed during the day - this is a well-known rule for mothers of those children who do not sleep well. How to apply this rule for adults? First, stick to a certain daily routine. If you have the need and opportunity to sleep during the day, do not sleep for a long time. This affects the quality of your sleep at night. Secondly, during the day a person must necessarily have physical activity (walking, exercises in the morning or before bedtime, dancing, etc.) - the body must be tired.

Should you sleep during the day?

Winston Churchill said that those who sleep during the day have the opportunity to fit two working days into one day. After sleep, labor productivity in the second half of the day increases to 100%, without sleep it drops to about 50%. So if you want to be energetic, take a little afternoon nap. For mothers who look after children at home, it is very easy to arrange such siesta - you need to use the time when you put the children to bed. If the children are not sleeping, you can give them new or well-forgotten old toys and lie down on the sofa not far from them.

Fifteen to twenty minutes of nap-nap is enough to rest. Try to concentrate at this time on the fact that you should rest as much as possible. If you are lying next to the baby and he is not sleeping, put a blanket between you and pretend to be asleep. So it will bother you less. Mentally relax all parts of the body one by one. Get up as soon as you wake up. Usually during the day this happens 10-30 minutes after falling asleep. If this interval is longer, then you need more time to rest. The only thing to remember is that a short nap in the afternoon invigorates, and a long one, on the contrary, makes you tired. After it, it is difficult to swing, and for the worse, it changes the mode of evening sleep.

At work, naps can be practiced in the car, in a reclining chair, or on a yoga mat. Thanks to a short rest during the day, you can significantly increase your efficiency and in the evening you will not suffer from deadly fatigue.

Napping can also be practiced in the evening while you put your baby to bed. In the evening, of course, there is a danger of falling asleep until morning. If you have urgent business, set yourself an alarm (vibrate alert so as not to wake the child). If you can't wake up in 20 minutes, then set your alarm for 4 or 5 in the morning to get everything done early.

An exercise for effective parents

Decide right now which of these tips you would like to follow, and do it tonight. For example, ventilate the room, do some stretching and relaxation before bed. Track your condition in the morning and throughout the day. Try other methods the next day. Choose the ones that work best for you and make them your bedtime rituals. To help yourself, write a reminder on a separate piece of paper and hang it in the bathroom.

Food

A person can live without food for a couple of weeks. Even less without water. Food is a direct source of energy. Today, in sanatoriums and health centers focused on increasing vitality and cleansing the body, they adhere to the following rules for eating, which are easy to follow in normal home conditions.

You need to eat at about the same time in small portions (250-300 g). Better every two to three hours, but leave this time for complete processing of food, that is, do not snack between main meals. Your main indicator should be hunger, not appetite. By eating smaller meals more frequently, you will maintain a steady energy level in your body without suffering from hunger or overeating.

Lean on "live" food. "Live" food in the East is called not the one that runs, but the one that has grown under the rays of the sun. With "live" food, the body receives not only the necessary vitamins and minerals, but also natural energy. Try to include unprocessed foods in your menu. Eat five glasses of vegetables and fruits a day - such universal advice was given by one of the leading US nutritionists to those who want to improve their diet. Why glasses? So it is much easier to imagine the desired norm. Finely chop fruits and vegetables and take them with you on walks and trips. For both adults and children, this is a great way to eat something healthy when hunger strikes. Buy a handy plastic container, and the minute you feel like chewing on something, reach for it. You have no idea how sweet pear or apple slices can be!

In order not to force the body to spend a lot of energy processing food, you need to chew it thoroughly. Experts advise making about 35 chewing movements before swallowing food. Even if you eat liquid, soft food, it is important to keep it in your mouth for a while so that it is sufficiently saturated with saliva. Saliva helps keep the intestines healthy.

Stop if you're full. Do not finish after the children and do not force them to eat everything without a trace! Eating after children is a direct path to extra pounds and general dissatisfaction. Eat only when you feel like eating. Stop when you feel like you don't want to anymore! Do not force children to eat everything without a trace and eat when they do not want to. By doing this, you can irreparably damage the natural ability of children to absorb exactly as much as necessary. Throwing away food is certainly not good, but even worse is throwing it into yourself.

Drink two to three liters of water a day. The amount of water consumed significantly affects a person's energy level. It should be at least two liters per day (preferably three). Unsweetened tea, liquid in the soup also counts. Don't drink sugary drinks. Better - teas without sugar and water. Coffee gives you a temporary burst of energy, and then the decline sets in, and you will quickly reach the level you were before drinking coffee (and even go down even lower). To train yourself to drink water regularly, set reminders on your phone or download special programs that help form a habit (for example, Water habit for iPhone).

Should I drink with meals? Most nutritionists agree that drinking with meals is unhealthy, as the liquid dilutes saliva and reduces the concentration of enzymes in gastric juice.

Avoid foods that require a lot of time and energy to be completely absorbed by the body. The least energy-intensive fruits (digestion time up to 1 hour), vegetables (up to 2.5 hours), cereals (up to 3 hours), durum wheat pasta (3 hours). Meat products are processed the longest and take a huge amount of energy. It is after eating meat that we feel heavy and we want to sleep.

The faster food passes through the gastrointestinal tract, the better - the more energetic you feel.

Eat mindfully. If you don't pay attention to the food you eat (you focus on watching TV or reading a book), then you don't get enough energy from food. There is a law: energy is where your attention is. Be in a good mood while eating. Of course, with children who love to eat with their hands and smear food on the table, this is not so easy, but still possible. Minimize remarks to children at the table. Remember that a positive attitude when eating food is much more important than cleanliness and etiquette. Try to influence children by personal example (or the example of older children), and not by swearing and spanking. Arrange everything so that you can quickly remove the consequences of "children's food creativity": lay an oilcloth, remove carpets from the place where the child is sitting, etc.

In order not to interrupt the meal because of a spilled drink or rice scattered on the table (and this happens regularly with young children), always keep a small bucket with a rag near you, with which you or the children can wipe the table. This is especially true if in your kitchen you need to take a few steps to the sink. After eating, you can quickly clean the kitchen with a bucket and a rag.

Traffic

Energized people are in constant motion. Look at your children - you can't make them sit still for ten minutes. Energetic people move a lot. And there are no secrets here. When moving, a person quickly consumes energy. During rest, this energy is restored. There is a rapid exchange of energy, which gives us strength and a new desire to act. If you give your body sufficient motor load, you can significantly increase the level of energy.

At first glance, it may seem that all parents have to move a lot, especially those with small children. However, this load is not enough to increase the energy level. Energy is consumed, but not so intensively as to give a tangible result of replenishment. We go to the store at a walking pace, on the playground we sit on a bench. The movements of the parents are quite monotonous and far from the rhythm of training, which is really effective.

According to the recommendations of the World Health Organization, even half an hour of brisk walking every day is a sufficient minimum physical activity. Of course, parents of young children should definitely include in their weekly motor diet the study of muscles, especially the back, neck, and arms. If you add another 10-20 minutes of the exercises you need to train your muscles to these 30 minutes a day of brisk walking (or better, running or cycling), then physical activity will be enough.

With children, you can always find time for physical activity, because they love to move. Walk with a stroller at a fast pace, not a walking pace. Do small races-accelerations - the child will be delighted, as well as your cardiovascular system! Find a way that works for you.

20 minutes of daily exercise can be equally divided between evening stretching to get you ready for sleep and morning exercise to help you wake up. So, brisk walking with a stroller, active games with children, jogging up the stairs at work, cycling (including to and from work, if possible), gymnastics with a child, dancing - all these are simple training opportunities for day, which means filling you with energy.

The opposite of movement is relaxation, which is very useful after intense training. Relaxation is useful in all cases when you feel that your body is tense. Relaxation relieves stress and fills you with energy. That is why yoga classes always end with relaxation.

Useful advice

If you feel low on energy during the day, find an opportunity to lie down (on a yoga mat or at home with your baby) or sit (in an office chair) and relax. The most effective relaxation is audio, when the voice of the announcer tells you what to do to relaxing music. Keep them on your phone, then they will always be at hand. If you do not have such an opportunity, just alternately relax all the muscles (fingers, feet, lower legs, calves, etc., until you reach the head). You may fall asleep for 5-10 minutes. The effect of such relaxation is simply amazing!

Sex

The instinct of reproduction plays a big role in human life. Without it, we would cease to exist as a species. There is nothing more natural than sexual desire. Freud saw in this instinct the basis of human energy - the source of what moves us forward and makes us live. He also described sublimation - the process of converting unrealized sexual energy into intellectual.

The question of sex, its forms and quantity in connection with the acquisition or loss of energy is ambiguous, like any question about energy. But the main points are:

1. You should have sex as often as possible (the modern approach of family psychologists: this is especially important after the appearance of children as a factor stabilizing relationships and uniting parents).

2. Don't have sex at all (some eastern currents).

3. Should have sex without ejaculation.

What should parents do? Whom to listen to?

In terms of energy, it doesn't matter if you have sex or not. What matters is the state you are in. The state of falling in love and light excitement gives a person a lot of energy. All great writers and poets have drawn inspiration from sexual energy. Successful people are usually very active sexually. This does not mean that they have sex every day. This means that they actively maintain the state of being in love and, with it, sexual arousal. Most people equate this state, as Napoleon Hill says in his book Think and Grow Rich, with the desire for sex. If you try to direct this internal seething to achieve another goal, then you will get a double result. And the body will not be clamped, since the energy will be spent, and there will be no waste of energy, since you will direct it to achieve your goal. “Of course,” writes Napoleon Hill, “the transformation of sexual energy into creative energy requires some effort of the will, some kind of experience, but the game is worth the candle.”

Therefore, actively maintain the flame of love, the state of sexual arousal in your relationship with your spouse. This is your source of additional energy.

Useful advice

Don't wait until it's time for a romantic date. With children, free time does not appear. It needs to be highlighted! Have a grandma or babysitter take the kids for a walk while you arrange a romantic date. Give yourself the opportunity to relax before this, tune in to a loving mood. Take a bath, watch a movie together.

Weekends or a few hours together will energize you for the whole week. And take your time with sex. Remember, the most important thing is the state of being in love, and for this you need to admire your partner, understand him and respect him.

Sexual energy is recognized by most researchers as one of the most powerful in our body. Your right is to direct it to its natural purpose or to sublimate (transform) it to achieve other goals. If sex with a partner for you is an act of expressing feelings, love, then you produce new energy, which you can further direct to various accomplishments.

GENERATION OF ENERGY AT THE LEVEL OF THE MIND

Acquisition of knowledge

A person receives energy along with knowledge. Information is often referred to as food for the mind. After reading this book, you will surely get a new boost of energy, a desire to change something in your life, to follow some advice. There are books that bring not knowledge, but emotions - this is fiction. The energy of emotions is also important, but it will be discussed below.

Intellectual literature forces us to use thought processes: to think, to compare, to analyze, to draw conclusions, to try on new models of behavior in our own lives. The activity of the brain takes a lot of energy (the weight of the brain is only 2-3% of the weight of the body, but it absorbs 20-25% of all energy), but by spending it, you get new energy, which you direct to the formation of knowledge and your own development. Remember how you, for example, at school struggled with a mathematical problem, thinking, analyzing, comparing, and how much joy you got by solving it.

Different people have different needs for knowledge. For those who are initially drawn to knowledge, this need is higher. If it is not satisfied, an emptiness arises inside, which becomes a source of discontent and an energy absorber. Therefore, pay attention to the development of the intellectual component of your personality.

Knowledge can be acquired in different ways. Books, documentaries, seminars, trainings, conversations with professionals and experienced parents - all this can become a source of knowledge. Knowledge is theoretical and practical. More energy bring practical. They can be acquired at trainings or adopted in close communication with other people. That is why it is recommended to communicate with other experienced parents.

In the intellectual sphere, the rule also applies: the more you give, the more you receive. It is important to take the time to get information (useful information that you need, not from TV or yellow press). Useful information is that which stimulates your own thoughts. It is when we have our own thoughts that we give energy. And a new one appears in its place. The more you have to strain the mind, the more energy you will receive later. You get the maximum amount of energy when you create new knowledge and pass it on to others. always on TV; An exercise for effective parents

Draw a table with two columns. Write in the first column what you think clutters up your brain during the day, what makes you tired. In the second column, enter what fills you with intellectual energy. During the exercise, focus not on what captures your mind and imagination, but on what after which you feel full of energy and strength. For example, a series captures your imagination but doesn't really energize you. It's not the best time

forwarding. Instead, it's better to watch a good movie about how to play with children. He will give you ideas and energy for the best organization of leisure time with children. Of course, feature films are also energizing, but this is mostly emotional energy. It will be discussed below. If you feel a lack of intellectual energy, focus on the second column.

Focus on one task

Perhaps this has happened to you: you have been so concentrated on some activity that you did not notice how time passes. You seemed to dissolve. This state is called a flow, and it fills with energy like nothing else. Skiing down a mountain, going on a date with a loved one, reading an interesting book, writing a blog post, drawing a picture, having fun playing with a child – all of these can cause flow – a state in which a person forgets about time, others, himself. A flow, or flow state (flow) is a state in which a person is fully involved in what he is doing, which is characterized by full involvement in the process of activity.

If you are performing a task and are constantly distracted (checking your email, watching the news on the Internet, taking time out for your children), then such an activity will take a lot of energy from you and eventually lead to irritability, and maybe even an emotional breakdown. In everyday life with children, this is expressed in the fact that any desire to complete the task is lost, we shout at the children so that they do not interfere. If you have chosen a convenient time, eliminated the possibility of any distraction, and devoted yourself to what you love, then you can easily achieve a state of flow.

Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, principal investigator of the flow, outlined several conditions for achieving it:

A well-defined, complex, but doable task. Make a work plan, conduct an experiment, score a goal against the opponent, pass a new level in a computer game, etc. The list of tasks is not limited. It is much easier to get into the flow if the task is new, interesting, non-trivial. Inspiration arises, and on its wave it is very easy to get into the flow. With a strong desire, even when washing floors or reading fairy tales to a child, you can achieve the desired state.

Sufficient arsenal to complete the task. The person's abilities and skills, as well as the necessary tools (for example, a good mop when washing floors) should be appropriate for the complexity of the task at the time of its implementation. If the skill of the individual is not sufficient for the task, then the voltage will be too high to achieve flow. It's already stressful. If you are ready to move mountains, and you are only given pieces of paper to carry around the office, then it is clear that there will be too little to achieve a flow of energy.

High concentration. This includes the ability of a person to concentrate on a task and immerse themselves in the matter. This quality is trained (for example, through meditation). For concentration, interest, novelty of the case is important. You also just need to be able to allocate time for the task, be emotionally charged (not tired) at this moment and eliminate all distractions (phone, Internet, home).

The ability to create the right conditions for performing tasks is a great art, especially for parents who, in addition to performing normal tasks, also need to supervise their children. In more detail about how to properly create such conditions for yourself, we will talk in the chapters on natural planning and process optimization. And first you need to remember that for those activities that require absolute concentration (work, study), you should choose the time when the children are sleeping or absent. Time is very valuable, so it should be used for the most important tasks and in the most efficient way.

With children, you can also dive into the flow and use this time to recharge energy (mostly emotional). Drawing, making a gift for your grandmother with your own hands, playing snowballs, riding down the mountain, etc. All you need is to set aside half an hour, set a goal, immerse yourself in the process. And go!

Successful business people know that if they sit down to check their email at the very beginning of the workday, they will never get to the more important but less urgent tasks. Therefore, the most effective of them create the conditions for themselves to work on long-term projects and strategic development for at least the first hour (this is the most productive time). To do this, they come early, while no one bothers with calls and visits, or right from the beginning of the working day they lock themselves in the meeting room for an hour. At first, this causes some misunderstanding among colleagues, and then others begin to adopt this very useful habit.

The main disruptors of the flow are external stimuli: TV, phone, social networks, email. There is only one way to deal with them - to turn off the necessary concentration (put the phone on an answering machine, turn off all programs that notify about incoming messages). If you really want to check your mail or other messages before completing the scheduled task, set aside the time that you can afford to do this (1015 minutes). Use it to recharge emotionally for the intended task. If you spend more time on this, you will spend too much energy, and then it may not be enough to complete the desired task. Both thoughts and the habit of being distracted can destroy the flow.

If thoughts disturb you during concentrated work, do not cling to them. These are just thoughts. Tell them "Hi and bye!" If these are thoughts telling you about some important things that you need to remember to do, write them down on a piece of paper (or on your phone), which you always keep with you. If your emotional state does not allow you to work, take some time to cheer up. Any emotions go away in one or two minutes after the occurrence, if we do not start thinking about them and thus throw firewood into the fire. The following methods will help put out the fire. First, analyze what caused your condition, outline ways to solve the problem. To quickly improve your mood, you should have positive pages on the Internet, cartoons, comedy series with short episodes in your arsenal. 10-15 minutes is enough to emotionally tune in to productive work.

Becoming a mother, you involuntarily begin to think about how to keep up with everything. My salvation in this matter was the “Succeed with Children” community, which I accidentally found on the open spaces of LiveJournal. It contains a lot of useful information on how to effectively allocate time for a mother in order to successfully fulfill herself, take care of her family, do what she loves, travel, etc.

Alena, tell us about your project “Succeed with children”. How did the idea of its creation come about? Objective of the project? Where did you start? Who supported you?

The idea of the project was born when my daughter was about 2 months old. Our daughter is very active and sleeps little since birth, so the issue of organizing time became very acute almost immediately after the birth, and this despite the fact that my husband and I are experts in time management with experience.

We immediately felt the gaps in the preparation, began to look for literature, it turned out that there was practically nothing on this topic. In 2 years, of course, a lot has changed, books on TM for parents were published, many projects on this topic appeared, but then there was an acute shortage of quality information.

So we decided to collect and generate this information as part of our own project. The name was invented by my husband, and we started together, and as soon as the project got stronger, I took it into my own hands.

The husband now supports morally. We started with the first article, with the first training, for which, by the way, 100 people signed up, which was a shock for us.

In your opinion, is it enough for a woman to take place only as a wife and mother?

I think it's very individual. For some, this is precisely the calling, one might say, these are professional wives, mothers, keepers of the hearth. It is in these roles that such women are comfortable and they enjoy and feel that they fulfill themselves. But such women, according to my observations, are still a minority.

It is enough for someone to add a hobby, someone needs professional development. Every mother should figure out for herself what is important to her and try to find time for important days in her area of \u200b\u200blife.

Is it possible to prepare even before the birth of a child to be in time for everything after childbirth and how to do it?

Yes, of course, moreover, be sure to prepare in advance. How exactly, here in a nutshell it's hard to say, I have a whole training on this topic.

First of all, you need to tune in to a complete restructuring of the usual way of life. Sometimes it is this restructuring and internal resistance to change that prevents a young mother from quickly being drawn into a new rhythm.

Therefore, you need to change certain habits in advance, learn to do things in “short dashes”, breaking them into parts that can be put into 10-15 minute intervals, often this is how much the baby gives mom time. It is also necessary to close cases as much as possible, prepare the house, dismantle old rubble, and distribute responsibilities among family members.

Alena, there are many mothers in your community who work at home and at the same time take care of raising children. Do you think freelancing is the future or will office work be a priority for a long time to come?

I am sure that freelancing has a great future. Many cutting-edge companies are already ditching expensive office space and working remotely with their employees. In addition, the share of Internet business is growing, which means that web professions are becoming more and more in demand.

In addition, many mothers after the decree are not at all eager to return to the office, spend time in traffic jams and see their children only on weekends. So they are very interested in the alternative to office work.

Fortunately, there are now a large number of distance courses with which you can master web professions and start building your own Internet career.

How did you come up with the idea to publish a free e-magazine "Succeed with Children" and did it justify itself? Who are its authors?

Project "Succeed with children!" started with a community in LiveJournal. Until now, this is the main platform of the project. I always approached the selection of materials very carefully, but the specificity of LiveJournal is such that each article “lives” for only a couple of days, and then goes deep into history and no one will see it there, except perhaps the most inquisitive readers.

Now, when the number of subscribers is in the thousands, I receive many offers from readers who also want to join the team of authors. I select the most interesting proposals. It is important for me that each article not only contains useful advice, but also inspires and pushes to action.

In the “Succeed with Children” community, you have shared your experience with readers more than once. Tell me, how do you manage with children? What system do you follow? How are your priorities divided? How do you make time for work? Etc.

I have one daughter so far, now she is 2.5 years old, and when the project began, she was just a year old. I'm not trying to catch everything, I'm trying to catch the main thing. I am quite flexible in my approach to planning, I can easily adapt to new circumstances.

I will not be original, like most working mothers who do not have a nanny or grandmother at their side, I work when my daughter is sleeping or when her father is engaged with her. Without fanaticism, I approach many issues, determine what is “good enough” for me and do not give free rein to perfectionism.

We travel a lot and this is a very important area for our family, so travel is always the starting point for family planning.

Alena, what inspires you in everyday life?

Of course, this is my daughter and our family. As for the professional sphere, I am inspired by people who have found their calling and do their job with love. And, of course, travel!

Is the “Success with Children” project for you a job or a favorite hobby?

I really hope that this will become my permanent job, and not even just a job, but a real business.

The main problem for many mothers is finding time for themselves. How did you solve it?

I can not say that I found some magical way. It seems to me that the problem is not so much in time as in motivation. If you really want something, you will find an opportunity to realize it anyway.

How do you like to spend your free time with your family?

As I already wrote, we love to travel very much, and in total we spend several months a year away from home. We also love to take pictures, so traveling for us is two pleasures in one.

Travel routes are different, but the invariable points on the map are the cities where my parents and my husband live, where other members of our families live. We try to visit everyone regularly, and these are already 4 points on the map of Russia and neighboring countries. Plus longer trips.

Alena, every woman has her weaknesses. Which ones do you have?

Here I flirt and do not confess. Why confess your weaknesses to anyone but yourself?

What advice would you give to women so that they can manage their time effectively?

Time is the most valuable thing we have. Time is our life. Appreciate time, don’t wait until the children grow up, don’t wait until the situation changes, change yourself, study, look for your calling, look for something that will inspire you, and then time allocation issues will be solved much easier. And always remember what is most important to you and devote your time to it in the first place.

Alena, what are your immediate plans for the future. What are you planning, what are you dreaming about?

In the near future, the implementation of a new project for moms related to freelancing, in the work of 2 books on time management in co-authorship, recording several audio trainings and, of course, new travel routes!

Photos from the personal album of Alena Moroz.

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Exchange of experience 26.12.2013

A bit of prehistory. I have been blogging for almost 2.5 years now. Seems like a lot of time, right? But I studied, that's exactly the school, I went through only with Vladimir Belev on the course "Blogging from A to Z". It was in February last year. The training was 1.5 months, but I had a huge breakthrough in understanding everything. For some time, knowledge and a fuse, as they say, was enough for me. But then, as I say, some kind of stopper appeared again. You seem to be doing something, everything seems to be fine. But all this somehow reminds me of marking time, so to speak. And personally, I needed a breath of fresh air, I just felt this need very strongly.

Probably, many of you, reading these lines, recognize yourself and your thoughts and agree with me. As many say: “You work, you work, but what about the future?” And many are very concerned about the problem of how to make your site, your projects profitable? After all, so much effort is invested, of course, I want returns. And for everyone at each stage there is a rethinking of everything.

"Business incubator of web projects" under the leadership of Alena Moroz.

So, after my little lyrics like this, I move closer to the topic of the article. I don't know if you know Alena Moroz. Judging by personal correspondence with bloggers, no one in my circles knows her. It's a pity.

Alena Moroz is the author and leader of two successful Internet projects:
"Succeed with the kids!" and "MAMALANCER - work on maternity leave and on the Internet." Both web projects were created by Alena on maternity leave. Alena is an economist-manager by education with an MBA degree and 5 years of experience as a director of marketing and development.

Alena's project has existed since July 2012, we were in the 5th stream of the Web Projects Business Incubator Master Group. We were shocked by the achievements of the graduates – many of them began to run successful and popular projects almost from scratch in a very short time and bring a good income.

I met Alena on the Internet when I was looking for information about virtual magazines. Then I was just starting to publish our magazine “Fragrances of Happiness”, I had no experience, how to do everything? I really wanted to know how others do it? In a word, there were only questions without answers. And so I found, in this way, Alena's magazine with her project "Do it with children."

Immediately noticed the high level of professionalism. We talked a little with Alena in private correspondence. Of course, you don’t know everything, and it’s embarrassing to find out everything at once, the whole kitchen of projects. Some time later, Alena invited me to study, but then, in the spring, it did not work out. My daughter was in the hospital, I didn't care.

And in November there was a new stream, I decided to participate in it. To be honest, it was not easy for me to make such a decision. I looked at the topics. At first glance, it seemed that I was very far from everything. How am I used to? I would like everything more soulful, thinner, but how and what to do with it? - that's the question. It seems that everything is so far from me, it seems, not everything is mine. We discussed all these points with Alena in private correspondence. Ideas were important to me at that time. There was some kind of crisis, what to do next with the blog? And Alena told me that I would definitely find ideas here. These words were decisive.

And here I am at school. Let me tell you right now, it was very difficult. Such a pace, such a level, so much information that at times it seemed that the forces were running out. Moreover, everything coincided with me: the end of the semester for students, the winter issue of the magazine, no one canceled family affairs - so it didn’t seem enough.

But the steps have been taken. Of course, not all the information is completely within, I will reconsider something later. It's hard to get into all the details at once. And you always have to put everything into practice. I learned this very well after Vladimir Belyaev's courses.

The level of everyone in the stream was very different. Someone came from scratch, did not know anything about blogs or SEO, someone already ran their websites, online stores, someone already conducted webinars and trainings, but there was no clear understanding of how and what to to do this, there were already worthy bright projects, the authors of which came for new knowledge. There were over 50 of us in total. It was possible to choose options for your studies, according to 3 packages of Incubator participants: student, master and expert. My training was to the expert.

All at their levels were able to understand a lot for themselves, learn, accept and immediately implement some ideas. And most importantly, it was communication in an environment that has exactly the same questions as you. You can chat, ask. Feedback is always valuable.

What topics were taught and who conducted it?

Trainers conducted the training: Alena Moroz, Daria Chernenko and Aliya Belyaeva. There were also wonderful guest webinars. The invited experts, who are well versed in their subject, shared their best practices with us. These were topics about SEO, writing articles, blog promotion, newsletters, affiliate programs, how to create your own effective team (moreover, many options can be perfectly implemented without financial investments), about social networks, YuoTube, subscription base, web design, about marketing and advertising, target audience, where to find partners and how to work with them, how to build a business on your strengths and much, much more.

Can you imagine the coverage of topics in such a short period of time? Moreover, the topics are exactly what each of us needs. Many came with projects of their online stores. It was also interesting to hear about such a possibility.

What was before school and what has changed since then?

Now a little about these points in more detail. Before studying, as I said, there was a blog and a magazine. Everything was pretty good, sort of. Articles were simply written, regular issues of the magazine were published. Always loved to look for something new to look for and embody. But those who maintain their blogs understand that this is no longer enough at a certain stage.

When I started reading something on the topics of the infobusiness, I felt very bad, I fell into stress, I shared this with you in an article. I read about the subscription base, about mailing lists (what I receive just shocks me often - I rarely see something worthwhile and useful in them), about affiliate programs, webinars, about creating information products and all other points - I didn’t understand how it you can apply everything to yourself.

I always stick to my point of view. Either I do what is comfortable and sincere for me, or I just move away from it. In principle, I went to study from this point of view. I'll see what they can offer. I followed the ideas Alena told me about. But then again, we are told a lot, promised a lot, but when you find yourself in a certain place, there are often moments of disappointment. You think: “Well, again you were promised one thing, but everything turned out completely different.” Thank God this didn't happen here. Although, once again, it was not easy for me.

A very strong shake-up, as I say, was given to all of us by brainstorming sessions. Everyone presented their projects, someone simply discussed ideas, and then questions were asked for everyone that are of personal interest to you at this stage. A fresh look from the outside and a bunch of new ideas almost at the first stage - this immediately inspired me very much. All coaches and group members expressed their opinion.

In a word, you can’t tell everything, of course. But the fact that the study is rich, very worthy, with all the exciting topics and feedback - that's really great.

I am very grateful to Alena for the invitation to such a study.

Alena is planning new projects in the near future. Already in February, the INCUBATOR-PRO training will take place, and also in April there will be the format of the training that I have just passed.

I can share information with you if I know something new about studying with other coaches - there will also be a lot of everything: both for free and for a fee.

Webinar "SEO is simple, accessible, sincere"

Dear bloggers, I shared my work experience at a webinar that took place in March 2014. The webinar lasted over 2 hours.

I talked in great detail about how I got the first visitors, how the traffic took off, how I work at Subscribe, how I write articles with specific practical examples, how I promoted the blog in the search engine, how we make money on contextual advertising, and a bonus to the webinar was my experience in working with electronic journals. Many see, say: “How beautiful, I also want,” but they don’t assume what is behind all this.

If I, a trained musician, could do it, each of you can do it. The main thing is to believe in yourself and learn to do simple things. Briefly, accessible, in simple words, I talked about this terrible word “SEO”.

Subscription for bloggers

My heartfelt gift for today Song of the Crystal Winter The author of the video is T. Lidina to the music of Georges Bizet. Such a miracle, just do not convey.

I wish everyone the same harmony and joy of the soul in our, on the one hand, difficult task. And on the other? Just imagine if you didn't have a blog... For me, it's just unrealistic, I guess. All pre-holiday mood!