Features of male sexuality. Relationships with impulsive men

Greetings, my dear readers! Have you ever met such people who change their minds very quickly, easily move from joy to anger, and their smile is instantly replaced by a grin? What does an impulsive person mean, what are their strengths and weaknesses, and what is the best way to establish contact with such a person? Today I will answer all these questions and tell you what to do if you suffer from your impulsiveness.

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Most often, if you are told “he is an impulsive person,” then you will initially treat him with a slight tinge of negativity. Why is this happening?

Because impulsiveness is more associated with negative evaluation: unreliability, ambiguity, short temper, irritability, and so on. But we will talk about the disadvantages later. Let's try to understand the strengths of an impulsive person.

Impulsive nature allows a person to make decisions quickly. After all, most often such people quickly react to external circumstances. Thus, we get a person who will perfectly adapt to a rapidly changing environment.

Quick decision-making, in turn, develops intuition, which greatly helps in life. Agree, a person with a more developed intuition is more likely to succeed. What skill can be compared to intuition? Probably none.

You will immediately know what emotion an impulsive person is experiencing. Have you met such people, on whose face nothing is written and it is absolutely impossible to understand what they are feeling right now? With an impulsive person, this cannot happen.

If he is angry, then you will understand this very well. And the better you understand other people's emotions, the easier it is for you to communicate with a person. Therefore, when such a person is angry, then you can simply not approach him at that moment. And wait until he comes to a calm and balanced state.

An impulsive person is a bad liar. To lie well, you must have composure, calmness. An emotional person will definitely miss and not bring the lie to the end. Therefore, most often such people do not even resort to lies. Suspicious manipulations will be clearly visible in their behavior.

Minuses

However, for all their strengths, impulsive people also have a number of problems. Making impulsive actions, a person can make a mistake because he thought badly, did not consider all the options for possible consequences. Making a quick decision definitely helps, but not in all situations.

Such people are dangerous with their lightning-fast mood swings and it is not always clear who is the cause of anger or sadness. A person subconsciously strives for order, constancy. Therefore, communication with such emotional people can be annoying and infuriating.

Emotional people really often fail. You agreed on a meeting, prepared everything for it, spent time, effort, and maybe money. But the man did not come, simply because he changed his mind. Unreliability is perhaps the strongest minus of an impulsive person.

It is very difficult to be in a romantic relationship with such a person. Today he is madly in love, and tomorrow he is angry at a trifle, after a couple of hours he is offended, and a second later he kisses him tightly.

How to deal with an impulsive person

Understanding an impulsive person is not as difficult as it might seem at first glance. There are things that piss him off, there are those that bring joy and happiness. And since he does not hide his emotions, an observant person will quickly understand what is definitely not worth doing or saying.

There are some advantages to dealing with an emotional person. For example, such people are more likely to agree to adventurous offers, they are more willing to travel around the world or go with you to the mountains. But they can easily abandon the idea at the last moment.

You should not place great hopes on the promise of such people. Their mood will change, they may change their mind. Therefore, it is worth listening, but not trusting completely. After all, with them it all depends on the mood and emotional state.

But an impulsive person rarely acts as an aggressor, unlike, for example, a mentally unbalanced one. If you came across the second option and you absolutely do not understand how to interact with it, then the article "" is useful to you. It is necessary to communicate with such a person with special care.

Impulsivity is neither good nor bad. It has both positive and negative points.

If you are an impulsive person, then you have the opportunity to use your strengths, but do not forget to work on your weaknesses.

Are you quick to make decisions? What can piss you off and how quickly will it happen? Do you forgive easily? Do you consider yourself an emotional person?

Best wishes to you!


considers his talented student Elena Ilinykh


Young figure skaters Elena ILINYKH and Nikita KATSALAPOV made a splash at the European Championships in Switzerland. The debutants of such a prestigious tournament stopped one step away from the podium! But that doesn't seem to be enough for them. Wards of the famous coach Alexander ZHULIN dream of medals in Sochi-2014.


Bye Nikita Katsalapov was undergoing a massage session in the treatment room, our correspondent spoke with his charming 16-year-old partner:
- Lena, medals are usually washed. And how did your duo mark the fourth place in the adult company?
- In Bern, the organizers arranged a party for the participants of the tournament. Nikita and I had a little fun there. It was interesting - there are no such parties at junior competitions. We were both given perfume.
- Do you often quarrel with your partner during training?
- When he starts to piss me off, I say such words, at least plug your ears! When I throw everything out, I go up to my partner and say: “Nikitushka, forgive me, I love you.”
- Do you really love it?
- Our relationship with Nikita was not easy. We were paired up when I was 11, and Nikita was almost 14. Both with ambition, both stupid. In short, after a year and a half, we had a big fight and fled. I went to America - to the coaches Igor Shpilband and Marina Zueva. Ride alone. Nikita found another partner in Moscow. In the USA, I realized that without a partner I am nobody. Sometimes it was so sad that I wanted to howl like a wolf. In the end, I returned and persuaded Nikita to start skating together again. I was a fool for leaving.
- How did your parents let you, 13-year-old, go to America?
- My grandmother went with me. She learned to drive there, because in Detroit without a car it's like without hands. In general, it was not bad in Detroit, but I trained at the same rink with Canadian dancers Virtue and Moir- future Olympic champions.
- You now have a mentor - the famous Alexander Zhulin. Is he a tough coach?
- It depends. Most often, Alexander Vyacheslavovich does not tolerate objections (“As I said, do it”). Zhulin is a great authority for us. His wards are French Natalie Pechalat and Fabien Bourzat became European champions in Bern.
- It turns out that Zhulin trains both you and your rivals.
- I live with Natalie at the base in Novogorsk in the same room. She is a kind, good girl and treats me like a sister. Natalie is older than me and gives me purely feminine advice - what clothes suit me, what to do in this or that situation. I do not yet consider her as a rival, but only learning. The French encourage us to work, we strive to catch up to their level.
- Tatyana Tarasova called Zhulin the sex symbol of our figure skating. And you, Lena, what epithets would you give to your coach?
- Oh, I'm still too young to talk about it ... But since Tatyana Anatolyevna said so, it means that it is so. Epithets? He is passionate and impulsive. And the coach became a friend to us. You can contact him with any problem.

In life, each person meets people with different characters. Have you ever dealt with a person who struck with his inconstancy? Such people, as a rule, tend to change their minds quite quickly, they are characterized by instant mood swings.

It would seem that just now he was smiling and in a good mood, when suddenly something affects his mood, and aggression and discontent appear. Also, these people amaze with their lightning-fast decisions. What explains this human behavior? In psychology, this is called impulsiveness.

Impulsivity is a feature of the human nature, manifested in the tendency to make decisions without thinking through the consequences. Impulsive people are guided in their behavior not by reason, but by emotions and temporary circumstances.

More often than not, this behavior only leads to negative consequences. This is due to the intemperance, irascibility and harshness that often manifest themselves in such people. In other words, we can say that impulsive actions are actions performed without considering the consequences, without prior reflection.

Some people confuse impulsiveness with decisiveness, this is a very common misconception. However, there is a big difference between these two states. Decisive individuals are firmly confident in their decision or action, and this confidence also extends to the result of their activities.

Impulsive individuals are distinguished by the fact that they first take actions, and then consider the consequences. Such people tend to be disappointed in the end, as a result of which they may experience remorse or further complicate the situation.

Varieties

It is common for every person to sometimes be impulsive, but for some individuals this becomes the norm. Impulsive states have several varieties and may also indicate some psychological diseases:

  • Pyromania is the desire for arson.
  • Kleptomania is the desire to steal.
  • Food impulsivity - manifests itself in various interactions with food.
  • Gambling addiction is a predisposition to gambling.

This is only part of the psychological states when the human mind cannot resist its desires. Impulsive decisions are often the result of poor self-control. Distinctive features of such people are increased activity and explosive character.

These are bad interlocutors: conversation with such people is difficult and often does not have a specific topic, as they tend to quickly switch between different topics. When asking a question, they do not wait for an answer and can talk for a long time, even if they are no longer listening.

Impulsivity also differs in the situations in which it occurs:

  • Motivated - in this case, it is caused by stressful situations, when even quite adequate people can show an unexpected reaction to circumstances. This has happened to everyone, and it does not cause concern.
  • Unmotivated - when strange and unusual reactions to what is happening become the norm for this person. In this case, the abnormal behavior is not episodic and recurs quite often, leading to some psychological illness.

This condition is possible in both children and adults. However, for children, psychologists do not define this as a diagnosis, since children are not always inclined to think about their decisions and take responsibility for them. But in adults, this is already a deviation from the accepted norms of behavior.

Very often, impulsive behavior can be observed in adolescents. This is understandable: various stresses at such a critical age are more often the cause of unreasonable behavior. It can also be emotional excitement or overwork.

Sometimes teenagers cause such a state artificially, the reason for this is stubbornness and a desire to show independence. Impulsive states in adults are a psychological deviation only if they appear very often and the person himself is not capable of self-control.

Pros and cons

The impulsive state of many causes a negative attitude. This is due to the fact that people equate the word "impulsiveness" with such concepts as irritability, insecurity, short temper. Of course, these properties can accompany impulsive manifestations, but this condition also has its strengths:

1. Fast decision making. Do not confuse it with determination, but this is the positive side of the impulsive state. Such individuals are prone to rapid adaptation. Usually they are indispensable in situations where circumstances change quickly and you need to make decisions, adapting to them.

2. Intuition. This state also develops intuition. Each of us would be glad to have an intuitive character or to have such a person nearby. Intuition is a very strong side of character that helps us in life.

3. Explicit emotionality. Impulsive states imply a person's openness. Such individuals do not hide their emotions. This can also be attributed to the positive features. The better you understand the emotional state of a person, the easier it is to develop relationships with him. An impulsive person will never show hidden intentions.

4. Truthfulness. Perhaps this is the most important positive moment in the impulsive state. Impulsive people rarely lie. Lies are more characteristic of those who have a calm and reasonable character. With heightened emotionality, it is difficult to hide the truth. Any manifestation of deceit is highly undesirable for an impulsive person, since sooner or later emotions will take over and he will express everything.

Impulsive states have a number of advantages, as we have already understood. However, along with this, they are associated with a number of negative aspects. These include common mistakes. When making quick decisions, a person makes rash actions, which often leads to mistakes.

The minus of the impulsive state is that the mood of the individual often changes, and you will never understand what controls him at the moment and what to expect in the next moment. And since each individual strives for order and constancy, the emotional person is the cause of discomfort.

This is also manifested in relationships: it is difficult to experience romantic feelings with such people - either he loves and adores you, or he gets angry because of minor misunderstandings. Since it is impossible to predict the behavior of an impulsive person, it is very problematic to adapt to it.

However, being with such a person has its advantages. This is a very adventurous person, and you can be sure that you will always receive support in unexpected decisions. Also, the open emotionality of such a person can help you learn to capture many factors that affect his mood, and in the future use this for your own purposes.

At the same time, one should not unconditionally trust him: impulsive people tend to change their minds often and do not always keep promises. It is worth remembering that an impulsive individual will never play the role. If you encounter an emotionally aggressive person, then most likely this is a mentally unbalanced person.

Impulsivity cannot be good or bad. This is a state that has both positive and negative aspects. An impulsive person should use his strengths and pay a lot of attention to working on his weaknesses. Author: Lyudmila Mukhacheva

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For most of us, the worst thing that can happen in a love relationship is cheating. It destroys all the best and brightest, breaks something inside. Although cheating concerns only spouses, it still has its devastating effect on all family members, including children, and can lead to a serious crisis or even breakup of a marriage.

Healing the wounds of betrayal is hard—and not always possible. The disease is better not to treat, but to prevent. Knowing in advance what type your man belongs to and what circumstances may push him to adultery, you can protect yourself from the threat of betrayal on his part.

In this section:
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Most widespread reasons male cheating are:

unsatisfiedsexyneed. He wants more than you can give him. This pushes a man into fleeting relationships with unfamiliar partners, however, without the desire to start a serious relationship on the side. Some women are able to forgive "an affair without consequences", consoling themselves with the fact that he "always loved only her." Whether you are capable of such generosity is up to you.

LongpartingWithwife. No matter how strong your love is, if life circumstances or a career separate you, say, for six months, such a long separation provides fertile ground for adultery. Here the point is not only the lack of intimate relationships, but also the lack of support, the shoulder of a loved one nearby. By the way, women are prone to this type of betrayal almost more than men.

Underimpact"random"circumstances. An extra cocktail at a daring and cheeky party promises a "boring" continuation of the evening. And, if there is no wife nearby, another woman may be in her place. Take a closer look at your chosen one: does he like to drink too much, and most importantly, does he become more cheeky and prone to various "fun" under the influence of alcohol.

Too muchstrongpersistenceyourrivals. The explicit motivation here "if only to lag behind", and the hidden one - "confirmation" of male sexuality, unwillingness to sign in intimate impotence.

Treasoninqualityself-assertion, and also in order to diversify the sensations ... For many men, sexual victories are equated with victories in everyday life, at work, among friends - in short, to increasing their status. The pride of such men is amused by the number of bed victories.

Lovetoanotherwoman. This is the worst situation for a wife. Sex on the side, in this case, is a matter of course, a detail in the complex mechanism of human relations.

Having understood the reasons and situations that push your loved ones to intrigue on the side, it is also worth deciding on the types of men prone to extramarital affairs. Indeed, even in the presence of all "favorable" conditions, a man who is not prone to treason will not succumb to the influence of the situation and impulses.

Models of behavior of unfaithful men, of course, are individual. But in general they are due to a mixture major typesmen who are potentially cheating:

"Don- Juan"- this is an immature personality, obsessed with the desire to please. A man of this type wants to be in an eternal state of love. And if he is your chosen one, then you should be prepared for the appearance of many rivals. But for a long time they do not stay with him, as soon as he feels the seriousness of his mistress's attitude towards him, he leaves. It is almost impossible to keep such men from extramarital affairs, the only chance is to help him develop into a harmonious self-sufficient person who will not need such confirmation of his own strengths. But without his desire, this, as you understand, is meaningless. And typical "Don Juans" as a rule do not have such a desire.

"Collector"- mistress for him the opportunity to diversify his bed life. Treason is decided with fear. The way to keep such a man is to give him the desired variety. Role-playing bed games and dressing up will come to your aid.

"Conqueror"- the whole point of a relationship for him is to achieve a woman. He is prone to boasting, constantly demonstrates his advantages, endlessly uses the word "I". Your strategy of behavior should be like this: "The elbow is close, but you won't bite." One should never become subjugated by him. Even if you have been married for twenty years, remain close, but always inaccessible peak.

"Foreverdissatisfied" His doubts and uncertainty extend to his relationships with women. He is constantly in search of the "best", and is never sure that the woman next to him is the one, the only one. If you need to keep such a man, then it is given to prove to him your uniqueness, as well as the fact that an alliance with you is the best thing that could happen to him. Think about whether you are ready to spend your energy and time of your life on this - considering, moreover, that there are still no guarantees of success. Perhaps he just likes to be offended by life.

"The male- male"aka "Macho". The status of "married" does not affect his lifestyle in any way. He, just as before, unbindly has fun with friends, considering this a normal male life. Trying to block his access to such adventures, you will force him to go back to single life. Only a reassessment of values ​​can affect his behavior. It is quite possible. Talk to him seriously and then give him time. Usually "macho" is not a type for life, but only a stage in the development of a normal man. Perhaps your loved one is already ready for a gradual change in values.

"Impulsivethe male". He behaves like a capricious child who wants to get what he wants momentarily. A very difficult type. His "I want" defies logical explanation and system. Everything happens spontaneously, on demand. But he, like a child, easily switches from one object of interest to another. If you come across such a person, you can try to find this switch in him. Another question is whether you are ready to live your whole life with a capricious child.

"Vertextriangle". Manipulative men who love to watch women fight for them. Such men want to be caught cheating, or directly report the presence of a mistress. The purpose of their betrayal is not romance, not sex, and of course not love, but a clash of rivals for war. From such a man - run away, without reasoning, no matter how much you have jointly acquired property and common children, until he destroyed your self-esteem and personality.

Impulsivity in psychology is considered as a predisposition to a spontaneous, lightning-fast reaction to any external or internal stimuli without taking into account the possible consequences. Within the framework of this concept, they speak of impulsive behavior, when a person acts thoughtlessly, but subsequently often repents of his deed or, conversely, further aggravates the situation. This feature of character can manifest itself both in childhood and in adulthood due to increased emotional excitability, overwork, emotional overstrain, as well as some diseases.

Such qualities as impulsiveness, initiative, flexibility of behavior, sociability are mainly inherent in extroverts. The concept of impulsiveness can be contrasted with reflectivity - the tendency to carefully think about the problem and weigh the decisions made.

In psychology and psychiatry, impulsivity is also interpreted as a painful form of behavior in which a person performs certain actions in obedience to irresistible urges, that is, almost unconsciously. It turns out that impulsive people have a lower level of self-control, and their actions are rather automated.

Impulsive behavior and its types

Impulsivity is manifested by difficulties in resisting certain momentary urges, which in the end almost always lead to trouble, both for the patient himself and for his immediate environment. Here are some examples of painful impulsive behavior:

  • kleptomania - a painful craving for theft;
  • gambling addiction - a pathological attraction to gambling;
  • impulsive purchases - the acquisition of unnecessary things, preoccupation with purchases;
  • pyromania - an irresistible craving for arson;
  • impulsive sexual behavior - uncontrolled, excessive sexual activity, which can manifest itself not only in sexual promiscuity, but also in voyeurism, fetishism, exhibitionism and other inclinations;
  • impulsive eating behavior - compulsive overeating, anorexia, bulimia, etc.

The above disorders are quite common among adults and adolescents, and lead to a significant decrease in the quality of life. However, increased impulsivity is quite easily eliminated with the help of competent cognitive-behavioral psychotherapeutic work.

Impulsive behavior in childhood

Impulsivity in children is also a character trait, consisting in actions on the first impulse due to the influence of any emotions or stimuli. Due to age-related underdevelopment of behavior control, this feature is often found in preschoolers and younger schoolchildren. With adequate development of the child, this form of impulsivity is quite easily corrected, but it is possible that as they grow older, this feature of behavior will return again.
In adolescence, impulsivity often becomes the result of emotional excitability, overwork, stress.

Most psychologists consider the impulsive behavior of young children as a normal phenomenon, since, due to age and a number of other objective factors, one cannot demand from them complete control of their own behavior. The central nervous system is actively formed in the first few years of life, and the child begins to more or less regulate spontaneously arising impulses only by the age of eight. In fact, the lack of voluntary regulation of behavior is simply a natural age feature.

Revealing

Impulsivity is diagnosed by a psychologist or psychotherapist using special questionnaires and tests. The final diagnosis is made if the patient's condition meets the following criteria:

  • impulsive behavior is constantly repeated, despite the negative consequences;
  • the patient cannot control his own behavior;
  • the patient experiences a literally irresistible desire to commit an impulsive act;
  • after performing an impulsive action, the patient feels satisfied.

Impulsivity is a condition that must be dealt with, first of all, to improve the quality of life of the patient himself. Depending on the causes that caused impulsive behavior and the personal characteristics of the patient, an individual treatment method is selected.

Fighting methods

So, the most preferred method of correction, the psychotherapist always determines strictly on an individual basis, considering many factors, including the characteristics of the development of the patient's nervous system. In some cases, well-chosen pharmacological therapy with the use of antidepressants and antipsychotics helps to get rid of impulsivity. Medications are prescribed in cases where impulsivity is a manifestation of any mental personality disorder.

Various psychotherapeutic methods also help to fight impulsive behavior. The most widespread is cognitive-behavioral psychotherapy, which is most effective when carried out in an individual mode, but attending group classes is not excluded.

Impulsivity in childhood should also not be left to chance. And although the child's behavior will change as he grows up, the main task of adults is to develop in him the ability to correctly balance his own motives and expected results. That is, the child must understand that all his actions will entail certain consequences. At the same time, it is important to develop a system of rewards so that the child has a concept of “correct” behavior. In fact, the adult directs the child in the right direction and gradually shifts responsibility for his behavior to him. It is worth noting that the biggest mistake parents make is that they try to “train” their own child by teaching him self-control through punishment. This strategy is fundamentally wrong and can lead to the development of serious mental disorders in the child in the future.

Of great importance in the correction of impulsiveness in preschoolers and younger schoolchildren are joint games that involve restraining impulses and taking into account the interests of other participants. In the future, educational activities will further contribute to the normalization of behavioral activity.