Have you ever experienced situations when, during a conversation or an attempt to start a conversation, there is a feeling that a person does not want to talk to you? This lack of desire can be due to various reasons: fatigue, antipathy, or the fact that you interfered in someone else's conversation. Sometimes it's hard to know if a person really doesn't want to talk to you. Pay attention to body language and notice speech cues to understand the true intentions of the interlocutor. Learn to politely apologize and end the conversation.
Steps
Part 1
Body language and speech signals- If your voice is much louder than the other person's voice, this may be a sign that he is not interested in the conversation.
- Start talking less and pay attention to whether the interlocutor wants to seize the initiative. He may be interested in a conversation, but you do not allow a word to be said.
- Check how much space you have in a conversation if more than two people are talking. If in doubt, insert your line and pay attention to the reaction of the other participants.
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Listen for answers. The answers to your questions and statements can say a lot about a person's mood. The following responses may indicate that the interlocutor is bored or does not want to continue the conversation with you:
Pay attention to eye contact. It has long been known that the eyes are the mirror of the soul. If during a conversation you look into the eyes of the interlocutor, then the answer will be written in them. The following signs indicate that the interlocutor wants to end the conversation:
Pay attention to the position of the body. Just as the eyes are able to tell about the interest in the conversation or its absence, so the position of the body betrays the mood of a person. Pay attention to the posture of the interlocutor to find out the answer.
Watch your body language. Body language always shows a person's attitude towards a conversation. Such examples indicate that the interlocutor does not want to talk:
Part 2
Ways to politely end a conversation-
Don't panic and don't get angry. Sometimes a person is simply not in the mood, busy, going through a difficult moment in life. Try not to panic and not get angry at the interlocutor. Show your sensitivity and politely end the conversation to save yourself and your partner from an awkward exchange of empty phrases.
- Do your best to hide your emotions from the other person.
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Use a common preposition. There are many different reasons that allow you to end a conversation, whether it's the need to go to the bathroom or answer the phone. If the interlocutor has obviously lost interest in the conversation, then use a “simple” excuse to end the conversation and leave on a good note. Report the following:
Find an organic reason to end the conversation. Find an opportunity to naturally interrupt your conversation. Such an excuse will allow you to end the conversation on a good note.
Show that you value the other person's time. If you need to end a useless conversation, then adjust everything as if you are guided by the interests of the interlocutor. Say a strategic phrase like "I don't want to take up your time" to end the conversation.
Get a phone number or ask for a business card. This question will tell you that your conversation has come to an end. Let them know that the conversation gave you pleasure, and you are not averse to talking again another time.
Return to the beginning of the conversation. If the person is not interested in continuing the conversation, then try to find a way to end the conversation by returning to the original topic. Repeat that you enjoyed learning a lot and thank you for the conversation.
Thank the other person for their time. Even if a person has shown impoliteness and openly showed a lack of interest in further conversation, act according to your conscience and stay on a positive wave. Thank the person for the conversation and the time they spent, even if the conversation didn’t give you positive emotions.
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Read between the lines. When communicating via SMS or social networks, it is not possible to see gestures and facial expressions or hear the tone of the interlocutor's voice (with the exception of video calls). If you carefully read the replies and notice how long the answer takes, you can assess the degree of interest of a person in a conversation.
Listen to the tone of the voice. The tone of voice of the interlocutor can tell a lot about the feelings of a person at a given moment. The nature of the conversation allows you to understand how interested he is with you. Maybe it's time to politely end the conversation. Try to answer the following questions:
Determine who sets the tone for the conversation. If in doubt whether a person wants to continue the conversation, then try to understand who sets the tone for the conversation. It will also tell you if your interlocutor is losing the thread of the conversation and if it's time for you to stop.
Greetings, my dear readers! Recently, a friend of mine told me that her daughter approached her with a question: why do people not want to communicate with me? The girl is friendly and sweet, but contact with people is difficult for her. Today I would like to talk about why acquaintances can avoid communicating with you, what are the standard options for mutual hostility and what to do about it, how to win over people.
External factors
I want to start with external reasons why people may not want to communicate with you.
There was a boy in our school who constantly smelled bad. Classmates avoided him, the girls made fun of him and no one wanted to sit next to him in class. Yes, children are cruel, no one could directly tell him that he smells bad. But even in adulthood, with such a phrase, they are unlikely to approach you. And smell, meanwhile, plays a very important role in communication.
If it is impossible for a person to smell strongly of garlic, onions or other aromas, then it becomes impossible to stand next to him, especially in the heat.
Start with your appearance. Look around, look in the mirror. Many people find it unpleasant to communicate with untidy and sloppy people. Dirty, bitten nails, shoes in lumps of dirt, holes in clothes, a dirty head. All this is repulsive.
If you notice that people try to avoid you and do not get too close, then I recommend starting with appearance. Look at yourself from the side. After all, all this can be put in order, get rid of unpleasant odors, mend clothes, bring nails and hair into proper shape.
Do not be upset and do not hang your nose. There is no such situation from which there would be no way out. Especially in appearance. We'll fix everything!
Internal factors
Everything looks perfect? You smell good, even tasty, you always take care of your shoes, your nails are clean and neatly trimmed. What could be the problem then?
If the problem is not in appearance, then we are looking for repulsive moments in our behavior. A friend of mine used to make dirty jokes all the time. For any phrase, he gave out a completely inappropriate joke. No one wanted to offend him, so over time they just talked less with him. And at one time I could not stand it and explained to him all the stupidity and inappropriateness of such jokes in communication. He listened.
Maybe you, like my friend, like to joke on any successful and unsuccessful occasion? Remember, humor is good and healthy. But it should not be vulgar and vile, it should fit the time (the road is a spoon for dinner) and should not offend anyone.
My client has a girl at work who constantly sticks her nose into other people's business and always gives advice. She acts as a kind of guru who can find a solution for any situation. But no one asks for these tips.
If you like giving advice, then start a blog where you describe situations and offer solutions. Act differently in life. Only when you are asked to express your opinion, only then open your mouth and give advice.
Narcissism and self-centeredness scare people away. Nobody likes talking to people who talk about themselves all the time. We want people to pay attention to us, ask questions, be interested in our life.
There was one guy at our institute who did nothing but brag about his successes or complained about his failures. He constantly interrupted when it came to someone else.
Each participant in the conversation deserves equal attention.
If you have such an opportunity, then ask your friends to record a video meeting. After all, sometimes it is not possible to adequately evaluate your behavior. But looking at yourself from the side on the screen can be extremely useful.
Maybe you gesticulate too much and it bothers others, or you spit during a conversation, or you really only talk about yourself.
Template Pairs
There is such a thing as stereotypes. Mother-in-law and son-in-law, daughter-in-law with mother-in-law, former spouses, new wife and ex-wife, and so on. Jokes, popular expressions, proverbs and sayings are composed about them. Of course, there are cases when everyone lives in peace and harmony, but it also happens that people hate for no apparent reason simply because it is so due to their status to each other.
One of my clients communicates wonderfully with all her former partners. One day, she caught her man with another young lady. She did not start a scandal or a tantrum. She just calmly talked and said that it was time for them to part. A woman always tries to stay on good terms with her ex, because for a long, or not very long, time they were happy together.
Elementary rules of communication
Remember that everything is fixable. Today, people shy away from you and do not want to communicate, but once you work on yourself a little, you will become the soul of the company. Let's talk about simple principles that you should definitely follow when communicating.
Friendliness and friendliness. Smile more often. Be polite. It captivates interlocutors. Only not flatteringly and deliberately, but naturally and naturally. If you smile, then do not do it through force, it will be noticeable and scare away the interlocutor, leaving an unpleasant aftertaste.
Do not be rude, do not humiliate others, do not enter into conflict, do not provoke a quarrel. If you feel that now blurt out something superfluous, move away and breathe. Calm down and only then return to the dialogue.
People love to be called by their first names. Turn to your comrades more often, ask questions about their life, work. And many people like to talk about themselves. Use it wisely.
Learn the rules of etiquette. Behavior says a lot about a person. Does he keep a personal distance, at what point does he give his hand for greeting and to whom does he give this hand, does he open the door, and so on.
Why do you think they don't want to talk to you? Causes in appearance or in your behavior? Have you met such people with whom it is impossible to communicate for a long time? What did they push you away from?
Work on yourself and you will definitely succeed!
Is there anything to be upset about?
It all depends on several factors:
1. Did you know each other or are you just attacking a social media star in order to become friends with this person - in this case, this can be regarded as harassment.
Let's immediately note this point, because otherwise the situation can hardly be called sound.
2. You knew each other, and fate separated you on opposite sides of the barricades, but none of you did anything bad to each other. He is still drawn to a person, but, alas, he is not to you.
3. You were familiar and someone did something nasty to someone.
In any case, there is no need to make a tragedy out of this. One thing always helps - to understand that a person does not need you. Not needed and that's it. So why go deep into suffering and try, as you say, to distract yourself from thoughts about this person? If he doesn't need you, then why should you need him?
Most people cannot come to terms with the loss of a friend and go over all the memories associated with him in their heads. And for some reason, these are always extremely positive memories, accompanied by exclamations:
1. Oh, how can I be without him / her!
2. How so, I will miss him / her very much
Not so long ago, exactly the same event happened in my life: a person simply stopped communicating with me, he didn’t want to. And they opened my eyes after some time, advising me to remember not the good that we had, but the bad that this person did to me. And you know, immediately some kind of disgust appeared for the situation as a whole, that all experiences instantly disappeared.
Of course, relationships between people do not always develop in such a way that something bad is present in them. In this case, we return to the beginning again - the person has lost interest in you. And I will not say now the words from the program "Understand. Forgive": "Maybe the problem is with you?"
The problem is not with you if the person did not justify his departure., and if you nevertheless substantiated, then nothing prevents you from changing your attitude towards the people around you.
It is worth making new acquaintances that will become much more interesting and useful than those with which you had to part, because not everything in this world lasts forever.
And you once lived without this person quite well for yourself, right?
You will be surprised at the answer, but in order to stop being upset, you need to defeat your selfishness. After all, you would not want anyone to bother you - respect yourself in this example and transfer this respect to your loved one. Do not suffer and do not suffer. In the end, each person finds someone who does not bother him and who does not bother him. And of course, you can change yourself within reason - if you yourself define some of your qualities as "in need of correction" :)
Good luck to you.
The move helped me. A relocation and new acquaintances.
And so I killed one person at a time for 3 years. God bless 3 years, you can go crazy.
Neither books nor music helped me.
I just completely changed my social circle, and yes, my worldview has also changed a little.
Of course, I still remember her and everything connected with her. But, alas, the past cannot be returned.
It only needs to be ill, but in practice such a "disease" is very difficult to proceed.
Is it possible to ask a person directly what does not suit him? why did he decide that he was no longer interested in communicating with you, did not need to?
If you are ready and want, you can promise the person that you will change, you will not do what made him decide to cut off communication. And there it is already up to him - he will give you such a chance or not)
In any case, try to let the person go. Remember how you lived without him, what did you do, with whom did you communicate? Understand for yourself that life on this person did not converge in a wedge. And most importantly, turn on your pride. You are good and interesting. And he doesn't want to talk. Maybe the reason lies in the fact that he does not appreciate it. Find someone who will appreciate you.
It's not that easy!
One very important and necessary person did not want to communicate with me. He said that I was not of his level: not so beautiful, not so smart and interesting, not well off. Yes, I know I'm not in the best shape. But I think it's very cruel! Can't you just be a little kinder?
This person at first spoke pleasant words to me, supported me, but when he got to know me better, he said that he did not need me! It hurt me a lot, because he was one of the few who awakened in me a thirst for life. I was depressed, I wanted to commit suicide, and then he came and everything around bloomed.
I would try to change something, to become better, and at first he gave me chances, and then he just got tired of it. Now he just lives his life and he no longer cares about me. And I think about him all the time and really miss our communication. I feel very bad without him (((And he doesn’t even know. He doesn’t know how much he means to me.
And I don't know how to get it back. But I would do everything for this if it was possible. This man is my world.
Do you think you can let him know how much he means to you? Because it needs to be talked about. At least once try to say. If there is no feedback, well, you did your best. But a person should not guess, he should know about it. And preferably directly from you. You know, I now have one similar relationship in my life. That is, for some time the person and I communicated very well, but then (I sincerely don’t even know why this happened) the communication came to naught quite abruptly, and now we are just silent at each other. Moreover, the person is really dear to me, and further down the list, but since a similar situation is periodically repeated and the initiator of the conversation and communication in general is usually me, I had to make a difficult decision - to let go of this situation and stop being imposed. Although, as it seemed to me before, everything was basically mutual. But, as they say, there are usually ten steps between people, and if you do all 10 alone, it will not lead to anything good. However, hope dies last and I hope for the best) and don't be discouraged. Life is like that, you never know what will turn out.
I think that the only option will help here - to learn how to painlessly let go of any person who does not want to continue with you either friendship or communication or relationship.
Well, what other options do you foresee? Go for questions and clarifications with this person? Alas. This is an ineffective option: many cannot or do not want to tell the truth in such situations. And they go for sweet lies and hypocrisy. Or ignore. Or to aggression. Therefore, all attempts to solve the problem by clarifying and asking questions in the vast majority of cases will not give the desired result and will not lead to your goal. And possibly they will aggravate the situation. As well as aggravate the person’s attitude towards you.
Unfortunately, this happens very often - no matter what you do to a person, nothing bad, and he suddenly not only stops communicating, but also stubbornly hides the truth. So the reason is definitely not in you. the right to communicate with whom. But still, it would be much more honest to explain frankly: after all, in this case, the problem would probably have been resolved peacefully and conservatively. And any concealment of the truth and any sweet lie, dishonesty and meanness is obvious.
But it’s just that you’re lying to re-educate such a dishonest person. So, nevertheless, learn to let people go painlessly. In extreme cases, contact a psychologist. And communicate with those people who don’t bring you such problems. reason to see a psychologist.
You will not help yourself with alcohol, but only kill your liver.
So I settled on her closeness, or rather about her bitchy, . What did you understand? Under the word closeness, when I read it for the first time. That's right, sexual intercourse, contact ... Magic))))) as you wish. But is it proximity?
No, this is a connection. Connect in a simple way. So let's get back to the main idea. Or rather, to the plot from my life. I met a girl, a simple, unremarkable one. So here it is. What is remarkable is that it is not exemplary. But very good indeed! like David's tear is pure...
Excuse me if I jumped. But but what next it was I will miss. Nothing special, but personal things can’t be all in public and so on right away ... In short, we talked with her for four and a half years, just talked. Or maybe already 5 years. Yes, we met somewhere at that time. I would like to know the day and month. Damn, I don’t remember .... Although you can find out, you just need to find the old page and try to go to it .. There should be a correspondence with our mutual friend, who introduced us as we know each other.
So pure as David's tear. And here we were with her in a close relationship. And a week and a half ago, all communication and intimacy went away. We could talk for 6-8 hours via video communication and were happy. People, it was a week and a half ago, you estimate ..... What is love. Perhaps so, where is the passion then? Connect ... Now you think that I'm a goof there. I fell in love with a girl and she twisted me as she wanted ... Yes, no, guys, it was not like that .. I may be Loh only in the fact that I lost her forever (((((..... 03/21/2019 You wanted a verse on lavi ))))) The book..
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ReplyMany lonely or unsuccessful people wonder why others do not want to communicate with them. There can be many reasons for this, but your isolation is not included in this list.
Everyone can be in himself, think about his own, but everyone must correctly show everyone around their intentions and respect. If you don't, people will simply turn their backs on you. In order for others to reach out to you, you need to avoid the mistakes that will be discussed later.
Reason one: you do not call the interlocutors by name
Psychologists say that at least sometimes you need to mention the name of the interlocutor in conversations. It's not even about whether you use this advice or not, but how often others use it. If at least one person calls your name during the dialogue, referring to you, then he or she will have more weight for you than anyone else. There is one very important trick for those who want to please a person more when they meet - you need to give his name. For example, you say my name is Elena, and they answer you: "And I'm Artem." You say: "Very nice, Artem." This has a very powerful effect. A person will immediately remember you and, more importantly at times, he or she will remember that it is pleasant to communicate with you. If you have memory problems, society will still perceive it negatively, so write down the names so that you do not forget them.
Reason two: you only talk about topics that are interesting only to you.
Think about whether it would be interesting for everyone around to hear about your problems with children, a new diet, a new fitness coach, a broken carburetor in your car, politics. Look at people's reactions. It can be very revealing, because most of you may not be interested in your stories about your personal life. People should want to ask you about something if you are talking about something. If this does not happen, then your topics are of no interest to anyone. Subsequently, you will not be asked anything.
One more piece of advice: do not talk about politics and religion if you do not want to be hated by literally everyone. This is bad manners. Of course, this is not bad form for any society, but for most work collectives it is terrible. If you do not communicate after your monologues, then you are talking about the wrong topics.
Reason three: you only talk about yourself
Perhaps you are transferring all the conversations to yourself. It also unrealistically irritates everyone around. A person told an interesting story, and instead of giving your opinion about it, you start: "But I have ...".
You should only talk about yourself if you were asked something directly. Perhaps you are the person who constantly switches the topic to yourself. You can not do this in any case, if you do not want to become an outcast. On the contrary, be interested in other people after their monologues, ask them questions. Show interest, then you will quickly fall in love.
Reason #4: You gossip and talk about others behind your back.
No one likes hypocrites, even if there are hypocrites in the team besides you. Even if you really want to discuss your colleague's new defiant dress with a friend or your boss's new car with a friend, it's best not to do this. If you can’t ignore negative statements, then it’s better not to say anything. Of course, rumors and gossip can spread about you that you pretend to be saints, but no one is immune from this. Just avoid it by not blaming others for sins. There are still a lot of good people, so they definitely won’t communicate with you if you constantly discuss someone behind their backs. People understand that you can therefore discuss them too.
Reason Five: Your Insecurity in Conversation
People don't want to talk to someone who tries to say one phrase but uses a lot of unnecessary words. Of course, this may not be fair to you, but unfortunately no one cares. There are few people who can understand others in this regard. Of course, this is not such a big reason to avoid you and not talk to you. But for many it is very annoying.
Reason six: you answer in monosyllables
There is no doubt, you most likely just do not want to talk. This method of having a dialogue with someone you are not interested in can alienate other people as well. It is possible that you have high self-esteem, narcissism. This needs to be fixed, and as quickly as possible. People will not talk to someone who considers them to be inferior beings. Here you have to try to improve.
Reason seven: you constantly whine
Your life is filled with some problems that you share with everyone. You can be understood, because you always want to get some kind of approval, support, advice, but people get tired of your troubles, which are more familiar to them than their own.
Reason eight: you do not command respect
This problem can be called global, but it is necessary to shed light on the most important thing. You talk about one thing and do something completely different. If your words go against your actions, then you should take care of yourself. People avoid associating with those who constantly lie or pretend.
Reason Nine: You are insecure about introducing yourself to people
When you arrive at a place, you should say hello and introduce yourself to anyone who doesn't know you. This will show that you are disposed to dialogue and are ready to conduct it with everyone. Saying hello to just everyone at once would not be a gross mistake, because that's what most people do. It is for the same reason that it is worth doing everything differently so as not to ascribe oneself to this majority.
It is very important to introduce yourself not only to yourself, but also to introduce your companions to people you know. It will be easier for your companion to enter into a conversation, and the people around you will automatically look at you more positively as a person who knows how to behave in society. The rules of good manners were invented for a reason.
For these nine reasons, many people may stop communicating with you or not want to communicate with you. If you recognize yourself in several points, then it's even worse, but you don't need to hang your nose. You can become better, more popular and win over people if you try a little. Get over the fear of communication, if you have it, because too secretive people also become outcasts, as well as very talkative ones. Good luck and don't forget to press the buttons and
