Steve Harvey Promising doesn't mean getting married. Life after the book "To promise is not to marry"


Greg Behrendt, Liz Tuccillo

Promise does not mean marriage

© Melnik E.I., translation into Russian, 2014

© Design. Eksmo Publishing LLC, 2015

All rights reserved. No part of the electronic version of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any means, including posting on the Internet and corporate networks, for private and public use, without the written permission of the copyright owner.

© Electronic version of the book prepared by Litres (www.litres.ru)

“Finally, honest words have been spoken about our suffering because of men!”

seventeen

"Evil genius".

New York Times

Ruthless Advice to Lovers.

Us Weekly

"The shocking, humorous revelations of a Y-chromosome carrier about the boy-meets-girl game."

USA Today

“No comforting ego strokes. No popular psychology. No riddles. He just doesn't like you that much."

Washington Post

“The self-help manuals are less creepy than this book.”

"This book could save an entire generation of women who spend their best years waiting for the phone to ring."

Boston Herald

"An unexpected and striking addition to the cultural stereotype of loneliness in the big city."

Los Angeles Times

"Clever, funny and surprisingly upbeat."

Publishers Weekly

This book is dedicated to all the wonderful women whose stories inspired us to write it.

We hope you won't need another book like this...

Note to the reader

The stories that you will find here are just illustrative examples, not related to specific events in the lives of specific people. Do not think that we wanted to publicly ridicule our friends, enemies or "ex".

(Although, to be honest, at times we had such an idea ...)

Greg and Liz

Introduction

The publishers of Promise Doesn't Mean Marry asked us if we would like to add another chapter or add something for future reprints. My first reaction was, “Are you laughing? The book is perfection! But then I thought. Is there anything else I want to say on this subject? In general, no. I think we discussed it from all sides. But one thing I really did not consider- what is it like for women to live in this world after they read "To promise is not to marry."

In addition, since the publication of Promise Is Not Marriage, I have been asked millions of questions. Anything from "Could you imagine the book would be so successful?" to “Who the hell are you, and what do you think you are?!” (The last question came from a genuinely disappointed Marine who may not have been as much in love with his lady as he should have been. Sorry mate!).

As for the first question, the answer is a categorical “no!”. It's not that I thought writing this book was a bad idea, but I had no idea it would be in such demand. I wanted to do this so that later I could brag to my friends: “Estimate, but I wrote that book about relationships, well, this one, in a green and pink cover that is sold in hipster stores!” This is, of course, a joke! But both Liz and my wife Ameera had to convince me that such a book was necessary.

I can’t say that one fine day I woke up and said to myself: “We need to awaken the consciousness of women so that they understand what is happening in their relationship! I'll do it and go to the gym." I had no idea how much time women spend thinking and talking about men. No, I don't judge them - I just did not know. It is amazing that no one has yet written such a book. That's why Ameera and Liz were so insistent that I do it: they knew there was nothing like it.

© Melnik E.I., translation into Russian, 2014

© Design. Eksmo Publishing LLC, 2015

All rights reserved. No part of the electronic version of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any means, including posting on the Internet and corporate networks, for private and public use, without the written permission of the copyright owner.

© Electronic version of the book prepared by Litres (www.litres.ru)

“Finally, honest words have been spoken about our suffering because of men!”

seventeen

"Evil genius".

New York Times

Ruthless Advice to Lovers.

Us Weekly

"The shocking, humorous revelations of a Y-chromosome carrier about the boy-meets-girl game."

USA Today

“No comforting ego strokes. No popular psychology. No riddles. He just doesn't like you that much."

Washington Post

“The self-help manuals are less creepy than this book.”

"This book could save an entire generation of women who spend their best years waiting for the phone to ring."

Boston Herald

"An unexpected and striking addition to the cultural stereotype of loneliness in the big city."

Los Angeles Times

"Clever, funny and surprisingly upbeat."

Publishers Weekly

This book is dedicated to all the wonderful women whose stories inspired us to write it.

We hope you won't need another book like this...

Note to the reader

The stories that you will find here are just illustrative examples, not related to specific events in the lives of specific people. Do not think that we wanted to publicly ridicule our friends, enemies or "ex".

(Although, to be honest, at times we had such an idea ...)

Greg and Liz

Introduction

The publishers of Promise Doesn't Mean Marry asked us if we would like to add another chapter or add something for future reprints. My first reaction was, “Are you laughing? The book is perfection! But then I thought. Is there anything else I want to say on this subject? In general, no. I think we discussed it from all sides. But one thing I really did not consider- what is it like for women to live in this world after they read "To promise is not to marry."

In addition, since the publication of Promise Is Not Marriage, I have been asked millions of questions. Anything from "Could you imagine the book would be so successful?" to “Who the hell are you, and what do you think you are?!” (The last question came from a genuinely disappointed Marine who may not have been as much in love with his lady as he should have been. Sorry mate!).

As for the first question, the answer is a categorical “no!”. It's not that I thought writing this book was a bad idea, but I had no idea it would be in such demand. I wanted to do this so that later I could brag to my friends: “Estimate, but I wrote that book about relationships, well, this one, in a green and pink cover that is sold in hipster stores!” This is, of course, a joke! But both Liz and my wife Ameera had to convince me that such a book was necessary.

I can’t say that one fine day I woke up and said to myself: “We need to awaken the consciousness of women so that they understand what is happening in their relationship! I'll do it and go to the gym." I had no idea how much time women spend thinking and talking about men. No, I don't judge them - I just did not know. It is amazing that no one has yet written such a book. That's why Ameera and Liz were so insistent that I do it: they knew there was nothing like it.

After being on The Oprah Winfrey Show, Liz and I suddenly became "relationship experts." This made me quite amused - if any of you had met me, you would never have believed that I could be an expert at anything. We began to be asked to comment on a variety of issues related to courtship, from celebrity romances to mating rituals in dogs (however, they are very similar).

Needless to say, I was stunned by such a stormy reaction to our book. My website went down three times because of the sheer volume of emails—many women felt their problems weren't covered in the book. I hardly agree with them. Maybe we didn't name some guy, but he's definitely here! Sometimes I wrote back something like: “Hi, you just sent me a ten page letter about your relationship with some jerk. BUT you yourself what do you think about it? But then I still expressed my opinion. I also received quite a few letters from men, not only in the spirit of: "If I ever meet you in a dark alley, you will not pick up the bones," but also: "I like one girl, but she never calls me back."

There were questions that came up again and again, some from people who liked the book, others from people who weren't fans of Liz and Greg. To be honest, I love questions like this! We are delighted with them. One person asked me if it bothered me that now people come up to me anywhere and talk about their relationship. My answer: "Never!" It didn’t annoy me even that time when I was shirtless in the fitting room and explained to the pretty saleswoman that if her boyfriend doesn’t want to marry her because she doesn’t speak German, then ... you yourself know how it goes on .

I hope this book will answer many of your questions and help you improve your current and future relationships. That's why we wrote it - because we care about you!

Greg

Foreword by Liz

That day started just like any other. We sat in the Sex and the City writers' office and tossed ideas around. As always, the details of our own love stories were woven into the fictional destinies we created. As often happened, one of our employees asked me to explain to her the behavior of a man she liked. He acted inconsistently - and she did not know what to think. With excitement, we began to disassemble all the signs and signals that could be hidden in his actions. And, as on other days, after much analysis and heated debate, we came to the conclusion that she - real treasure and he is probably stunned and frightened because he has never met such a beautiful woman before. She just needs to wait a bit...

Misunderstandings often arise between men and women. Everyone wants to be loved and understood, but it’s not so easy to find “the same” person, it’s not so easy to hear another, consider what is in his soul and accept it. Unfortunately, cases of unhappy love and destructive relationships are quite common. Women do not understand why they meet men on their way who cannot give them the love and stability they desire. The authors of this book are the screenwriters of the famous TV series Sex and the City. During the filming of one of the series, Greg Berendt came to the conclusion that even if a woman is very smart, she often absolutely cannot understand a man. Then the idea came to write the book "To promise is not to marry," co-authored by Liz Tuccillo.

The book tells about those cases when a woman cannot understand what a man really thinks and feels. Is he afraid of being deceived? Afraid that he will be hurt again and therefore does not enter into a new relationship? Why does he not call and often does not even answer messages? Is he busy or does he not care? The answers to all these questions are in the book. She will help women see everything as it is, without succumbing to illusions. Then the realization will come, which relationships are initially doomed to failure. The advice of the authors will help you learn to identify those men who are really interested and ready to take steps in the development of relationships.

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