Being fired can be compared to the stress a person gets after a divorce or the death of a loved one. Hands down, life becomes meaningless, the future does not exist.

At first, it is difficult to objectively assess the situation, especially to see the benefits of such a situation. The idea that everything that is not done is done for the better does not even arise. What good can be in the fact that someone took away the source of income? Someone else has decided that it's time for you to tie your belt tighter, and you are worth nothing in this life. The first desire comes to take revenge, screw up in the end and do everything so that the authorities bite their elbows from such a decision.

You need to leave with dignity. After all, his future life will largely depend on how the dismissed person behaves.

You can go into a steep dive, and you can’t get out of it. Or you can pull off a great trick and emerge victorious. No one is immune from anything, especially from losing a job. Any loss entails a decrease in self-esteem. The husband threw it - it means you are unlucky and ugly. Kicked out of work - so stupid and unreliable. Self-esteem is slipping down with furious force, and resentment is gaining momentum.

• Why were you fired?
• Am I the worst employee ever?
• Always and everything is decided for me.
• I'm a jerk, a loser and unlucky.

When such thoughts come to mind, you must immediately fight back.

The opinion of one person, even the boss, means absolutely nothing. Does not reflect the true reasons and attitude towards you.

Perhaps the godfather or matchmaker of the boss should just come to your place. Or maybe you are too sexy, and the boss's wife did not like it. Yes, you never know! Often you have nothing to do with it, or nothing to do with it, but indirectly.

Life did not begin with work, and it will not end with it. In any situation, you should always look for a positive experience.

Do not complain about the injustice of life, but ask yourself: “What did life want to show by this?” If you find the answer, you will rise one step higher in your development.

Practice proves that two groups of people most often lose their jobs:

1. inert;
2. workaholics.

These are the two opposites.

1. The former live by inertia, work because they have to, without moral or material satisfaction. He does not quit himself, because he has already given up on everything a long time ago, he does not do what he likes, does not develop, but simply serves time, as in prison. And when such a person is fired, then life simply informs through other people's lips and actions that the person has ceased to live, but simply exists, like a plant.
2. The second (workaholics) replaced their whole life with work. Work for them and mother, and wife, and children. At this time, the Ego weakens, a person tries to be comfortable and better, completely forgetting about his true desires. Life does not know how to joke and endure for a long time, and by dismissal it shows a person that work is far from the whole life. This is a frontal attack so that a person changes his mind. Why is such an employee being fired? And what boss wants to hear someone's frequent breathing in his back? We have no irreplaceable ones, therefore, those who strive to take a higher place are removed.

So what should you do if you get fired?

No tantrum

Resist the temptation to throw a scandal and throw a tantrum for the spectacle of detractors. You should swallow offensive words, “put on” a smile and “march” the last exit.

No need to try to steal, erase, corrupt information on the computer, win over clients and frame the boss, for example, in court, by selling confidential information. All such actions will sooner or later backfire on you with losses:

• The market segments are actually very narrow and your antics will soon be known to potential employers.
• If you're waiting for your ex-boss to truly regret firing you in the future, the exact opposite steps should be taken.

Pull yourself together, and on the last working day say goodbye warmly, say that you worked with pleasure, and this experience will be very useful to you. Of course, they may not call you back, but they will definitely give you a good reference.

People are greeted by their clothes, and make sure that you are led by the mind, not by the hysteria.

Sobriety, balance, composure and laconicism are the main qualities of professionals. Therefore, even if you were fired for biased reasons, do not be zealous in righteous anger. Conflict will not lead to good, but will ruin your reputation. "Hot heads" will always lose to "cold mind".

Keep your dignity, go proudly and even affably. The time will come when you will be proud of yourself.

Leave right

Leaving your job is not leaving your wife or husband. Leave all these attacks of pride, they say, I don’t need anything from you, take everything for yourself. It is necessary to work out two weeks according to the law - work it out. You need to get settlement and go around the offices with a bypass sheet - do it.

Dismissal is not a dead end, it is a new step.

Remember that you were fired, not thrown out, your paths diverged, not you were betrayed.

Do not look down at your feet, as if apologizing for the fact that your spirit was not dispelled instantly in the office.

Don't hang your nose

Fired? Wonderful! Now is the time to think and realize childhood dreams. Perhaps you are far from being an ordinary accountant, but an artist. A positive attitude is half the battle on the road to happiness.

There are no hopeless situations, even from the most-most, as a rule, there are four ways out.

Even if you lost in a corporate war and lost your income for a while, this is no reason to doubt your own mind, strength and luck. There will be a holiday on your street, especially now you have time to organize this holiday yourself. Away with depression and despondency.

Remember that sometimes a great flight starts with a kick under the ass. Take a run and forward to new achievements.

Choose your job carefully

If you were fired from the position of financial director, then you should not immediately go to the bakery culinary. Bake pies at home for the sweetness of your family. If your former boss fired you, this does not mean that you are a bad employee and not a professional in your field.

Do not waste your time on trifles, do not settle for crumbs when a whole ruddy loaf is waiting for you.

Think about the area in which you worked, really you like it? Maybe it's time to radically change your life?

Relax

Consider that you were not fired, but you took a vacation at your own expense. Vacation is a good thing. So be on vacation, and not overboard life. Read, attend courses, go to the sea, which has not been visited for the last ten years. Engage in needlework, build a bathhouse, or at least clean up the pantry, and make yourself a workshop there.

Don't let the blues steal your free time and inscribe the symptoms of a loser into your character. There will be a lot of free time in your life, and these voids need to be filled with something really worthwhile.

According to psychological practice, such a situation is a nutritional component for the manifestation of neurological diseases, unless, of course, stress, fears for the future and low self-esteem are brought close to the heart. A person can fall into a vicious circle: falling into depression due to lack of work, he cannot find it.

If this mental state lasts for a long time, then depression can be replaced by a physical illness.

This effect is often observed in laid-off and retired people. For example, immediately after retirement, a pensioner begins to age rapidly, as if he allows himself to get sick, because now there is time for this.

cut ties

No one forbids maintaining “hatted” acquaintances. Let it be sometimes superficial. The former team in this case appears in the form of a handkerchief during a cold.

Each time you wipe your tears, you will be charged with the old infection. You were hurt when you were fired, and you will be hurt in the same way every time you live the life of the past team.

You don’t need to find out who came to your place, how things are going at the company, where the boss went to relax, etc. And in the future, having got a better job, do not rush to immediately drag one of the former employees.

Do not take old defeats with you into a new life. Of course, it happens that a true friend can be found in the old team, but this rarely happens.

Being fired is one of the hardest experiences you can face in your career. As an acting coach, I have personally witnessed the shock, grief, and anxiety that comes with it. Being fired can bring on helplessness and self-doubt in the form of a frightening loss of control over the situation and the voice of a merciless inner critic - especially if your colleagues have kept their jobs.

Your perception determines how successfully you will move to the next stage of your career and life. Although being fired temporarily knocks the rug out from under your feet, it won't ruin your career if you learn how to control how you feel about what happened.

In my work with senior executives who have been laid off, I have watched some of them pull themselves together, move forward and finally succeed, while others get stuck in a cycle of anger and self-blame. Destructive thought patterns keep them in a morass of failure, making them unable to regain ground under their feet and decide on the future. Below, I offer three ways to quiet your inner critic, increase your resilience, and stay productive after a layoff.

Keep a positive attitude. To bounce back from failure, stop replaying the same thing over and over in your head. It adds more problems than helps to solve them. The way you think affects recovery after a layoff. I will give as an example the stories of two 50-year-old men with whom I worked. Let's call them Owen and Bob.

Owen took the news of his dismissal hard, although it was the result of a merger of organizations and was not based on the results of his work. He kept blaming himself, wondering, “How could I not see where this is going? I'm not fit for science and I'll never get another job in my fifties." Instead of contemplating future plans, Owen spent time self-torturing and randomly looking through vacancies, becoming more and more upset. When Owen came to see me a few months after being fired, he was barely out of bed in the morning. He could not get rid of self-criticism, constantly blaming himself for losing his job, while some colleagues kept it - and as a result, he slipped into depression.

Bob also survived the dismissal, but acted differently. After the initial shock of the news, he updated his resume and LinkedIn page to show that he was looking for a job and began to systematically build connections with his audience. Despite worries about temporary unemployment, he constantly reminded himself, "I have marketing skills, and now is the right opportunity to take advantage of to explore your career opportunities." Within a few weeks, Bob found potential job opportunities. More than thirty of his acquaintances agreed to help find a job.

The key difference between Owen's and Bob's stories is not that one feels better after being fired than the other. Initially, both were equally upset by the loss of their jobs. But, unlike Owen, Bob focused on controlling the situation and did not engage in constant self-criticism.

Don't let negative thoughts take over. After being fired, it's perfectly normal to find yourself in the grip of anger and self-deprecation, and these feelings can settle in your head for a long time. Being aware of the feelings that come with being fired is important, but it's also important to pay attention to what you say to yourself and determine if your feelings are helping or hindering your goals. By questioning your inner critic, you can stop the self-blame cycle that is holding you back.

Here are a few examples of common negative thoughts, paired with questions you can ask yourself to keep your eyes peeled for the future.

Thought:"I could have done more and prevented being fired."

Question:“What reason do you have to believe that I could have prevented the dismissal?”

Thought:“Firing will result in a loss of skills or some other handicap.”

Question:“Why am I sure that this will lead to a deterioration in my abilities?”

Thought:"I was unlucky enough to be in the wrong place at the wrong time."

Question:“What could have made my work unclaimed?”

Thought:"It's a misfortune from which I can never recover."

Question:“What career opportunities am I currently free to explore?”

Shift your focus from disadvantages to advantages. Typically, when you lose your job, you try to figure out what you did wrong and ponder over all sorts of miscalculations. By focusing on your weaknesses, you are more likely to forget or minimize your strengths.

To replace a demotivating approach with a more positive one, take a look at your entire career. If you are just starting out, think back to your educational experience so far. The purpose of this exercise is to find out what professional and personal failures you have already experienced and what problems you have overcome on the way to your current position. Recall how you suffered from another difficult situation that you eventually overcame.

With this in mind, ask yourself the following questions.

• What strengths did you use to solve your problems?
• What have you learned about yourself in the process of overcoming problems?
• How can you use your strengths during this transitional phase of your career?

In a resilience training developed by psychologists at the University of Pennsylvania for the US Army, participants teamed up and took on tough combat missions using their team skills. After being fired, you can use the same approach, looking back at situations where you have persevered in the past.

With the right mindset and active questioning, being fired is more likely to be an opportunity to succeed than to end in failure. The ability to determine your life course, choose the angle from which you look at the situation, and develop a conscious attitude towards your advantages are just a few of the unexpected benefits that await you after you have dealt with the baggage of anger and frustration. As my former client said when starting a new job, “I wish I had known that I would have been so happy a year from now when I was out of a job.”

Your boss invites you into the office, closes the door and says: "... we are not satisfied with the way you work in this position, so we have decided to leave. Free up your workplace and get paid in accounting." How to deal with this situation without losing your dignity?

Steps

Give yourself a minute (or five) to recover from the shock and collect your thoughts. Take a breath. If you feel like crying, please - this will not change the situation, but it may help you get over it better by venting your emotions.

Get the situation right. Perhaps your first impulse is to consider yourself a bad employee, a person, and a failure in general, but this is just the voice of panic. Instead, say to yourself, "I did the wrong job for me." This is important: the work is not to blame and you are not to blame, it was the combination of work and you that did not work. So don't be ashamed of the situation. There are millions of reasons why a job doesn't work, and none of them are 100% your fault.

Don't try to change your mind. You may be tempted to ask for another chance, but you should resist it. The decision is made and almost always irrevocable. Pleading will only weaken your ability to negotiate further.

Negotiate the terms of your dismissal. The employer does not want unnecessary problems, in particular, to earn a bad reputation. So here's what you can negotiate:

• Agree on how the employer will respond if you contact him for a recommendation. His safest answer is: "Yes, he worked for us, but our organization has a policy of non-disclosure of performance ratings."
• Ask for generous compensation. Demand vacation and sick pay, as well as compensation that you think they can accept - between a month's and three months' salary. You may not be paid as much as you ask, but this is a good start to negotiations.
• Ask your employer to extend the VHI for a certain period.
• Ask for help finding a new job. Some employers offer the services of employment firms. If not, ask which organizations you could recommend for finding work. Perhaps they have information about vacancies.

1. Quit with dignity. Do not wait for the end of the working day - pack your things at the workplace and leave. If colleagues stop you to say goodbye, thank them politely, but don't shake the walls with yells about what just happened to you. Never say anything bad about either the boss or the company - burn all the bridges so that you are not pursued by resentment.

   Report the incident to your family immediately. Even if you are still in shock and shame, tell your family what happened and discuss how you can all get through it together. Although your loved ones will also experience shock and discomfort, in the long run it will be easier for you to start taking further actions together.

   Give yourself time to recover. You will be tempted to immediately start looking for a new job, but you need to give yourself time to process what happened, get rid of shame and panic, and start thinking clearly. Take a couple of weeks to spend it with your family and concentrate on future plans.

2. Realize that this is not the end of the road. Although it can be difficult at times, don't think that your whole life is over when you quit your job. Start seeing the situation as a turning point on the road to change for the better. Of course, this is a difficult time, but it can give you new opportunities.

   • Take the time to figure out if you want to stay in the same line of work or if you should try something else.
   • Perhaps in the first few days your friends and colleagues will constantly call you to find out how you are doing. Refrain from talking to everyone. Tell everyone through one friend that you're fine and that you're just taking a breather, and then in the next few days, weeks or months - it doesn't matter - call everyone back.
   • Make sure that the dismissal is carried out in accordance with the terms of your employment contract and labor laws in general.
   • Be responsible. When you get home, cancel all but the essentials and budget according to what you have. Develop a financial plan. This will reduce your stress levels and keep you from grabbing the first job that comes along.
   • Sometimes termination compensation is given under certain conditions: you cannot discuss the reasons for dismissal with anyone, you cannot discuss the terms of compensation, you cannot speak negatively about the company or its management, you cannot go to work for competitors, and so on. If you violate these terms, compensation may be collected from you back through the courts.
   • Get official written confirmation of the company's intentions.
   • As a rule, after a notice of dismissal, access to a personal computer is closed. Accordingly, (since you are reading this article, you have not yet been fired) today, coming to work:
     • Send to your personal email address all the personal information from your computer that you would like to keep after you leave: personal mail, examples of work materials, recipes from your colleagues - whatever. Do not send all this from your work address, go to your personal mail and send from there.
     • Make copies of all the files you want to keep (document templates, work materials, contacts) and take them home.

   Warnings

   • Resist the urge to call colleagues and complain about the company and its management.
   • Arriving home, do not try to pack your things and leave the city. Running away from problems only exacerbates the situation, and besides, moving to another city for no apparent reason is a red rag for employers. It is better to update your resume and post it on the relevant sites.

An urgent problem for employees leaving work: how not to get upset, survive the dismissal and continue their professional and personal growth. To prepare for the end of an employment relationship, you need to know the signs of an impending dismissal, and in order to recover from it, it is important to realize your value as an employee.

Preparing to leave work

There is nothing worse than suddenly losing a job. Here is a list of signs that may indicate that a person wants to be fired:

• the subordinate is assigned fewer tasks;
• superiors rarely call to themselves (for criticism, or discussion of the work performed);
• some of the work is delegated to someone else.

As a rule, the last straw for many in this matter is the moment when a person finds on the Internet his position in his company, for which they are looking for an employee. Of course, after this, most begin to worry that they will soon have to say goodbye to the workplace.

What to do if you are threatened with dismissal?

If there are persistent suspicions that the boss will soon offer to leave the company, then you don’t need to go all out and deal with the boss, as well as express everything that has accumulated during the work in your hearts.

This will only aggravate the situation, and the subordinate may lose a letter of recommendation, which can be important when looking for a new job. In addition, the director may have doubts about the dismissal, and the conflict will only push him to this.

If a person suspects that the contract will be terminated soon, then it is best to calm down and start looking for a job. In most cases, people manage to find a new place even before the moment they are told about the dismissal by their boss, they just need to start looking as soon as possible.

Advice! If there are guesses about the imminent departure from work, then you should not openly look for vacancies if everything suits you at work, and the person does not want to leave the company. If the manager finds out that the subordinate is looking for other options, he will decide that the person himself does not mind resigning, and is more likely to offer to write a statement.

In addition, the manager can terminate the contract with a person on his own initiative only if there are certain factors.

Under what circumstances can the boss himself terminate the contract:

• in the presence of disciplinary violations (absenteeism, lateness, and so on);
• if a person has committed theft of property;
• in case of inconsistency of the qualifications of the position held;
• when reducing.

If the director wants to stop the employment relationship, but one of the above circumstances is missing, then the person can sue him.

How to find a new job?

When people get laid off, some of them think it's hard to find a new job and become insecure. If the contract was terminated with a person, but he feels that he cannot cope, then you can attend advanced training courses, or find a job through an acquaintance. If the subordinate left peacefully, and he has good relations with colleagues and superiors, then you can find out about the trainings and seminars that are held in the organization from which the employee was fired.

It is especially difficult to overcome depression for those who are 50 years old or older - many believe that because of their age they are unclaimed and will never find a job. In this case, it makes sense not only to go to advanced training courses, if possible, but also to a psychotherapist. A specialist will help you overcome this period in your life and convince yourself that all is not lost. In addition, you should not despair also because so many employers need experienced employees.

First of all, after the termination of the contract, you should not spend a lot of your nerves and spoil relations with colleagues or a former boss. If the director illegally terminated the contract, then it is better to go to court or the labor inspectorate than to waste time on insults.

Advice! If the manager offers new vacancies, or write a letter of recommendation, you should not refuse, even if the relationship with the manager was bad. It is better to squeeze everything you can from your last job, as this will help you get a new one.

What should be done after dismissal? The most important thing is that you don’t need to get depressed and assume that a black streak has begun. Life consists not only of a career, but also of other equally important components - hobbies, friends, family. If complexes and self-doubt appear, it is better to take a short rest for a while, with severe depression it is better to immediately contact a psychotherapist. The emotional state is very important, as a person who has a breakdown is less likely to find a suitable place for himself.

If a dismissed subordinate decided to take a break, then this should not be delayed for a long time. You can take a break for 2 weeks, or a month, but then it’s better to start looking for a job, as some skills may be lost over a long period.

Also, you do not need to agree to the first place that will be offered if it does not suit the employee. In this case, you need to take a sober look at things - know what you want, and correlate your capabilities - the level of training, education, and so on.

Is it worth it to return if they call back?

It happens that the management calls the dismissed person back, but it is better not to agree to such proposals. Practice shows that even if an employee had a good relationship with the team and management, he still begins to trust the authorities less after the last dismissal. However, if the subordinate at the old job has better working conditions (and salary) and good relations with colleagues and the director, then you can return to the company.

Dismissals today are not uncommon, and they do not always indicate the low professional qualities of an employee. For a variety of reasons, hundreds of successful, ambitious, experienced and productive people leave their jobs every day. In this article, we'll focus on practical tips for decent job loss.

How does a person who has been fired feel?

The range of emotions of a person who has been "asked" is difficult to describe in a few sentences. Even if you expected such a development of events, unpleasant news will still cause severe stress. , anger, aggression, stupor, hysterical fun - the first reaction will depend on endurance, relationships with the leader and temperament:

Cholerics can enter into conflicts and violently sort things out.

Sanguine people, most likely, will try to solve everything peacefully.

Phlegmatic people, as a rule, do not show vivid emotions (which, by the way, does not mean that they do not experience them).

Melancholic people can get very upset and even.

1. Try to contain the first wave of emotions

Balance is one of the main qualities of a true professional, so even if you were fired unfairly, do not spray yourself with righteous anger. In conflicts, it is the cold mind that most often wins, and the "hot heads" risk being in an unfavorable light. Keep your dignity and leave with your head held high: in the future, you will be pleased to remember this.

2. Think about the consequences

Getting fired is the first step to your new career, and you should make the most of it. More often than not, management really doesn't like to lay off employees, so they try to furnish everything in the most gentle manner. Do not get lost, ask for recommendations, compensation for unused vacation and other "regalia" that you rely on for your service.

3. Don't consider yourself a failure

A positive attitude is the foundation of a happy life. This banal truth is also relevant during dismissal. Even if you lost in a corporate fight and lost your favorite job, this should not destroy your self-esteem and put you in a state of. First, life is not only a career. Secondly, fears and complexes will only prevent you from successfully settling in a new place. And it will definitely be!

4. Don't settle for the first job you see

Many people, after being fired, hastily agree to the first offer they receive. But such a strategy makes it difficult to realize what is really interesting and important for a person in future work. The main thing is not to step on a familiar rake, so soberly evaluate your past experience and carefully study the new vacancy. Are the conditions really attractive? Then feel free to agree.

5. Relax

An unscheduled vacation is a great opportunity to clear your head, set priorities, think about life, take into account past mistakes, educate yourself and prepare for a new round in your career. But you should not tighten it, otherwise you risk losing your "combat skill".

6. Do not invite former employees to a new place

Even if you have successfully settled in a new place, do not rush to pull former colleagues. You are still a beginner and have not had time to understand all the corporate rules. Should you take responsibility for the employment of others? Remember that professional failures of comrades can destroy not only your friendships, but also your reputation at a new job.

7. Don't come back

Sometimes dismissed employees are called back to their old place after a while. Alas, such returns usually do not end well. The person begins to be suspicious of management, unspoken grievances interfere with normal cooperation, and the boss wonders if he brought the “inappropriate” employee back for nothing.

However, there may be exceptions: the company suffers a financial collapse, is forced to say goodbye to valuable personnel, and, having been reborn from the ashes, sincerely wants to re-gather the best people under its roof.

Maria Nitkina