Family Therapy Etymology.

Comes from the Greek. therareia - treatment.

Category.

A form of communication psychotherapy.

Specificity.

It is aimed at harmonizing family relationships. Among the researchers who have made the most tangible contribution to the development of this approach, the most famous are the following: V. Satir, K. Whitaker, S. Minukhin, M. S. Palazolli, D. Haley, M. Bowen, K. Madanes, L. Hoffman.

Psychological Dictionary. THEM. Kondakov. 2000 .

FAMILY THERAPY

(or) (English) family therapy) - modification of relations between family members as a system with the help of psychotherapeutic and psycho-corrective methods and in order to overcome negative psychological symptoms and increase the functionality of the family system. In S. t. psychological symptoms and problems are considered as a result of suboptimal, dysfunctional interactions of family members, and not as attributes to. family member ("identifiable patient"). As a rule, S. t. implements not an intra-, but an interpersonal approach to solving problems; is to change, through appropriate interventions, the family system as a whole.

Modern S. t. To.Rogers and V. Satir, systemic S. t. M. Palazoli, J. F. Chekin, G. Prat and L. Boscolo, positive S. t. ontotherapy A. Meneghetti and others. Within the framework of these theories, a wide range of original concepts (“closed pathology”, “mixing”, “pseudo-generalism”, “double bond”, “double message”, “metacommunication”, etc.) and methods have been created. (“connection”, “circular interview”, “psychological sculpture of the family”, “positive identification of symptoms”, etc.). Let us consider the main theoretical orientations in the field of S. t.

Family behavioral therapy. The essence of this approach lies in the idea of ​​interdependence behavior individuals: in any interaction, each of its participants seeks to maximize "rewards" and minimize "costs". Rewards are defined as the pleasures received, while costs are defined as the expenditure of time and effort. Marital disagreements are described as a function of the low rate of positive reinforcement. A comparison of conflicted and non-conflicting married couples reveals lower levels of reinforcement and higher levels of punishment in conflict families. The main strategy of S. t. is an increase in the interaction of positive, rewarding behavior and a decrease in negative, punishing behavior. The object of correction is the communicative behavior of spouses and parents. Changes in behavioral patterns of interaction in dysfunctional families suggests the following. areas of correctional and educational work: 1) teaching direct expression of expectations, desires, dissatisfaction; 2) training in the specific and operational expression of desires and intentions; 3) learning to communicate in a positive, reinforcing, constructive manner, both verbally and non-verbally; 4) learning to strengthen feelings of reciprocity and adequate communicative feedback; 5) teaching spouses to conclude various contracts on a mutual and unilateral basis; 6) learning to achieve compromise and consensus in the family. Correction direction data can be implemented both in the context of individual counseling and in situations of group work. Model of behavioral S. t. the following is described. stages: ; alternative ways to achieve the goal; program of step-by-step movement to the goal; practical implementation of this program. Role-playing games, video training, and various kinds of homework are widely used to transfer acquired skills to real situations in the family.

The main drawback of the approach is that it ignores existential problems that cannot be reduced to purely behavioral difficulties. Since the problems faced by the therapist are multidimensional (they manifest themselves in behavior, in the cognitive and emotional spheres), behavioral S. t. tends to enrich its arsenal with methods cognitive psychology.

Psychoanalytic S. t. so far - the most common theoretical approach in S. t., his views are popular among psychiatrists and social workers. However, there is no consensus among psychoanalysts themselves as to whether a psychoanalyst should be considered a family therapist. This circumstance is explained by the fact that classical psychoanalysis is focused on the study and treatment of an individual. The orthodox psychoanalytic position on this issue can be characterized as follows. way: family disorders are symptoms that reflect individual psychopathology; people who turn to a psychotherapist about family problems have deeply personal (intrapersonal) conflicts. Therefore, psychoanalysis acts as an individual treatment of the patient, excluding a direct impact on his intra-family relations.

And in a number of neopsychoanalytic approaches (for example, ego psychology, object relations theory, etc.), the problems of marital relations are also defined as manifestations of intrapersonal conflicts in the context of interpersonal relationships. Internal conflict is seen as the result of events that occurred in early childhood. Common to theories with a psychoanalytic orientation (psychodynamic approach, object relations theory,) are the following. provisions: the cause of family conflicts is an early negative life experience; the determinants of ineffective ways are in the realm of the unconscious; therapy should be aimed at the awareness of family members repressed into the unconscious experiences that determine their behavior and are responsible for the emergence of conflicts. In neopsychoanalytic approaches, interpersonal relationships play a significant role as the causes of family conflicts. Techniques aimed at working with the whole family are beginning to be applied. The therapist takes a more active position, not only interpreting the unconscious experiences of family members, but also directive intervention in family interactions.

Milanese systematic approach to S. t. Formed in the 1970s. based on psychoanalysis, general systems theory, works of the Palo Alto school. Main provisions: - self-regulating and constantly developing system; any human action is a form of communication; behavior is organized in patterns of interactions that are circular in nature; non-verbal aspects of communication are more important than its content; family members are elements of a single system of interactions, the behavior of any of them affects the behavior of all others, but is not the cause of this behavior; the main regulator of interactions is the rules of the family; The therapist in his work with the family is neutral, non-directive, and addresses behavioral patterns rather than family members as individuals. His task is to free the family from pathogenic patterns of interaction, to give it the opportunity to develop without experiencing symptoms. In this sense, there is no fixed normative image of the family. The adaptive capacity of the family is related to its ability to change. Pathological families are characterized by the so-called. "family games" (the striving of each family member to define relationships with others in their own terms, while denying that they do so), which are based on the mistaken belief that there is the possibility of unilateral control over interpersonal relationships. In fact, the main rule of the game is that no one can ever win, because you cannot control the system of circular relationships. Psychotic behavior is a logical consequence of the family game. Thus, any mental disorders are considered as violations of social interactions. Therapeutic work consists of separate sessions: pre-session (discussion of preliminary information about the family by a team of psychotherapists, development of an initial hypothesis about the functioning of the family); interview (obtaining basic information about the family, testing the initial hypothesis); a break in the reception (team discussion of the progress of work, development of a systemic hypothesis); intervention (presentation by the therapist of a positive statement, or a paradoxical prescription, or ritualized behavior to the family); post-appointment (team discussion of the family's reaction to the intervention, formulation of the general results of the admission). Team work (permanent supervision) is the cornerstone of systemic S. t. Here, such principles of therapy as hypotheses, cyclicity, and neutrality in working with the family are implemented.

The last principle is especially important, since it is traditionally believed that a pathological family must change (change itself). In fact, this erroneous t. sp. blocks the possibility of genuine change, which occurs only when the family is given real freedom (including the freedom not to change). The purpose of systemic S. t. is to help the family, as a system, free its members from symptoms, interdependencies, and defenses. Only by freeing himself from the system of pathological communications can a person solve his problems and gain a true individuality.

"dialogue" in the appendix to S. t. The fundamental concept of this approach is the concept of dialogue ( M.M.Bakhtin). Dialogue - a characteristic and basic condition for development consciousness and self-awareness of a person - the polyphony of personal manifestos and self-determinations of the surrounding people. Any behavior is a replica in the global dialogue. Any communication is dialogic. The degree of dialogicity is determined by overcoming various forms of resistance and protection characteristic of monologue (closed, role-playing, conventional, manipulative) behavior. The counseling situation is a kind of dialogue in which the therapist's activity is determined by his position of aesthetic outsideness: the client's inner world acts as a displayed and understood object, but not as a field of activity and an object of analysis; The therapist addresses various aspects of the client's inner world. Understanding presupposes communication with the client, as with a free person with a dialogic intention, presupposes counter activity of the client. The client's difficulty in entering into a dialogue poses the task of provoking his dialogical intention to the therapist. The general solution in this case is the "principle of silence": the deficit of meaningful reactions of the therapist in dialogue with the client. The dialogical position of the therapist is realized in the following. forms: the postulate of responsibility (the idea of ​​freedom and responsibility of a person for what is happening and for his own condition); orientation to meaning (setting a task for the client on the meaning of counseling with subsequent rethinking of life situations and tasks); fundamental openness (the ability for the client to contact the consultant again at any time, switch to other methods or other specialists); admissibility of advice (as a means of establishing contact with the client, actualizing certain contents in his mind, indicating ignored aspects of his own problems).

Orthodox tradition in the construction of S. t. God is the source of human spiritual energy. The image of God in a person is the core and essence of the personality, it is fundamentally indestructible and inexhaustible, the inner approach to it makes the person himself more and more unique. At the heart of any marriage, which is built on the right (spiritual) foundations, is a meeting (acquaintance as a revelation and). In the family, there are methods and mechanisms for constantly updating the experience of the meeting (individual and church-wide prayer, participation in the liturgical life of the Church), which are both a source of spiritual energy and renewal of interpersonal relationships in the family. These relationships are seen as archetypal and hierarchical (devoid of the fullness of revelation, but full of love). The family is rooted in the genus. The main materializing beginning of the family is the house as a bodily-mental-spiritual space. A house is built and maintained by the constant intercession of at least one member of the family before God. Various attributes of the house (from the roof to the basement) have special semantic meanings and loads in the Orthodox tradition. The house as a material and spiritual combination of these attributes is the need and goal of every person. The path of a particular family is determined by its fate (God's mind) and the joint and free will of all its members.

Main forms of education in the field of S. t.: traditional (lectures, seminars, study of literature); joint (practical work under the guidance of a teacher-supervisor); group (various trainings). The latter is the most effective form of training psychologists-practitioners. The training program of education solves 4 main tasks: informs the student, demonstrates situations and techniques, develops psychotherapeutic attitudes and skills, provides conditions for the process of self-research and personal growth of the student. Effective training assumes that the facilitator unites the group of learners, replenishes their self-worth, is authentic and congruent, active and empathic, positive. Constant study and awareness of their own problems by the therapist is a necessary condition for effective S. t. An important feature of such programs is the teamwork of the leaders. The main skills of the therapist: the ability to establish and maintain contact with the client; the ability to analyze the state of the client and his family system; the ability to provide effective directive and directive influence on the client and his family. (A. B. Orlov.)

Big psychological dictionary. - M.: Prime-EVROZNAK. Ed. B.G. Meshcheryakova, acad. V.P. Zinchenko. 2003 .

See what "family therapy" is in other dictionaries:

Family Therapy- a set of psychotherapeutic techniques aimed at harminization of family relationships. Among the researchers who have made the most tangible contribution to the development of this approach, the following are best known: V. Satir, K. Whitaker, S. Minukhin, M.S. ... ... Psychological Dictionary

Family Therapy- theory and creative method of working with the family as a team in the field of social problems. It is aimed at rallying the family community, developing creative thinking among its members to meet the needs of children in a particular society. FROM… … Fundamentals of spiritual culture (encyclopedic dictionary of a teacher)

Family Therapy- - the general name of psychotherapeutic techniques in which the family is considered as a whole, without singling out individual individuals for treatment independent of other family members. Family therapy concerns primarily children with ... ... Encyclopedic Dictionary of Psychology and Pedagogy

Family Therapy- Systemic family psychotherapy is one of the youngest psychotherapeutic schools that has been developing recently. This approach arose after the Second World War, it developed in close cooperation with cybernetics, and this is its essential ... ... Wikipedia

Family Therapy- (family therapy), counseling or psychiatric. treatment of some or all family members as a dep. groups. With S.t. used a wide range of therapies and decomp. types of diagnostics, including videos that allow you to evaluate your own behavior, and ... ... Peoples and cultures

FAMILY THERAPY- A generic term for a range of therapeutic approaches that treat the family as a whole, without singling out specific individuals for independent treatment. This term is theoretically neutral; Family therapy can be practiced as part of… Explanatory Dictionary of Psychology

Family Therapy (or psychotherapy) (English family therapy)- modification of relations between family members as a system with the help of psychotherapeutic and psycho-corrective methods and in order to overcome negative psychological symptoms and increase the functionality of the family system. In family therapy, psychological symptoms and problems are seen as the result of sub-optimal, dysfunctional interactions among family members, and not as attributes of k.-l. family member ("identifiable patient"). Typically, Family Therapy implements a non-intra-but interpersonal approach to problem solving; the challenge is to change, through appropriate interventions, the family system as a whole.

Modern Family Therapy is represented by many theories of the middle level, among which are the communication theory of G. Bateson, the structural theory of S. t. S. Menuhin, the theory of object relations by J. Framo, the humanistic S. t. S. t. M. Palazoli, J.F. Chekina, G. Prata and L. Boscolo, positive S. t. "double bond", "double bind", "metacommunication", etc.) and methods ("connection", "circular interview", "psychological sculpture of the family", "positive definition of symptoms", etc.). Let us consider the main theoretical orientations in the field of family therapy.

Family Behavioral Therapy- the essence of this approach is in the idea of ​​the interdependence of the behavior of individuals: in any interaction, each of its participants seeks to maximize "rewards" and minimize "costs". Rewards are defined as the pleasures received, while costs are defined as the expenditure of time and effort. Marital disagreements are described as a function of the low rate of positive reinforcement. A comparison of conflicted and non-conflicted married couples reveals lower levels of reinforcement and higher levels of punishment in conflict families. The main strategy of S. t. is an increase in the interaction of positive, rewarding behavior and a decrease in negative, punishing behavior. The object of correction is the communicative behavior of spouses and parents.

Changes in behavioral patterns of interaction in dysfunctional families suggests the following. areas of correctional and training work:

1. teaching direct expression of expectations, desires, dissatisfaction;
2. training in the specific and operational expression of desires and intentions;
3. learning to communicate in a positive, reinforcing, constructive manner, both verbally and non-verbally;
4. learning to strengthen feelings of reciprocity and adequate communicative feedback;
5. training spouses to conclude various contracts on a mutual and unilateral basis;
6. learning to achieve compromise and consensus in the family.

Correction direction data can be implemented both in the context of individual counseling and in situations of group work. Model of behavioral S. t. the following is described. stages: goal; alternative ways to achieve the goal; program of step-by-step movement to the goal; practical implementation of this program. Role-playing games, video training, and various kinds of homework are widely used to transfer acquired skills to real situations in the family.

The main drawback of the approach is that it ignores existential problems that cannot be reduced to purely behavioral difficulties. Since the problems faced by the therapist are multidimensional (they manifest themselves in behavior, in the cognitive and emotional spheres), behavioral family therapy tends to enrich its arsenal with methods of cognitive psychology.

Psychoanalytic Family Therapy- psychoanalysis is still the most common theoretical approach in S. t., its ideas are popular among psychiatrists and social workers. However, there is no consensus among psychoanalysts themselves as to whether a psychoanalyst should be considered a family therapist. This circumstance is explained by the fact that classical psychoanalysis is focused on the study and treatment of an individual. The orthodox psychoanalytic position on this issue can be characterized as follows. way: family disorders are symptoms that reflect individual psychopathology; people who turn to a psychotherapist about family problems have deeply personal (intrapersonal) conflicts. Therefore, psychoanalysis acts as an individual treatment of the patient, excluding a direct impact on his intra-family relations.

And in a number of neopsychoanalytic approaches (for example, ego psychology, object relations theory, etc.), the problems of marital relations are also defined as manifestations of intrapersonal conflicts in the context of interpersonal relationships. Internal conflict is seen as the result of events that occurred in early childhood. Common to theories with a psychoanalytic orientation (psychodynamic approach, object relations theory, transactional analysis) are the following. provisions: the cause of family conflicts is an early negative life experience; the determinants of ineffective ways are in the realm of the unconscious; therapy should be aimed at the awareness of family members repressed into the unconscious experiences that determine their behavior and are responsible for the emergence of conflicts. In neopsychoanalytic approaches, interpersonal relationships play a significant role as the causes of family conflicts. Techniques aimed at working with the whole family are beginning to be applied. The therapist takes a more active position, not only interpreting the unconscious experiences of family members, but also directive intervention in family interactions.

Milanese systems approach to family therapy - developed in the 1970s. based on psychoanalysis, general systems theory, works of the Palo Alto school. Basic provisions: the family is a self-regulating and constantly developing system; any human action is a form of communication; behavior is organized in patterns of interactions that are circular in nature; non-verbal aspects of communication are more important than its content; family members are elements of a single system of interactions, the behavior of any of them affects the behavior of all others, but is not the cause of this behavior; the main regulator of interactions is the rules of the family; The therapist in his work with the family is neutral, non-directive, and addresses behavioral patterns rather than family members as individuals. His task is to free the family from pathogenic patterns of interaction, to give it the opportunity to develop without experiencing symptoms. In this sense, there is no fixed normative image of the family. The adaptive capacity of the family is related to its ability to change. Pathological families are characterized by the so-called. "family games" (the striving of each family member to define relationships with others in their own terms, while denying that they do so), which are based on the mistaken belief that there is the possibility of unilateral control over interpersonal relationships. In fact, the main rule of the game is that no one can ever win, because. you can not control the system of circular relationships. Psychotic behavior is a logical consequence of the family game. Thus, any mental disorders are considered as violations of social interactions. Therapeutic work consists of separate sessions: pre-session (discussion of preliminary information about the family by a team of psychotherapists, development of an initial hypothesis about the functioning of the family); interview (obtaining basic information about the family, testing the initial hypothesis); a break in the reception (team discussion of the progress of work, development of a systemic hypothesis); intervention (presentation by the therapist of a positive statement, or a paradoxical prescription, or ritualized behavior to the family); post-appointment (team discussion of the family's reaction to the intervention, formulation of the general results of the admission). Team work (permanent supervision) is the cornerstone of systemic S. t. Here, such principles of therapy as hypotheses, cyclicity, and neutrality in working with the family are implemented.

The last principle is especially important because traditionally it is believed that a pathological family must change (change itself). In fact, this erroneous t. sp. blocks the possibility of genuine change, which occurs only when the family is given real freedom (including the freedom not to change). The goal of systemic family therapy is to help the family, as a system, free its members from symptoms, dependencies, and defenses. Only by freeing himself from the system of pathological communications can a person solve his problems and gain a true individuality.

The theory of "dialogue" in the application to Family therapy - the fundamental concept of this approach is the concept of dialogue (MM Bakhtin). Dialogue is a characteristic and basic condition for the development of consciousness and self-awareness of a person - the polyphony of personal manifestos and self-determinations of people around. Any behavior is a replica in the global dialogue. Any communication is dialogic. The degree of dialogicity is determined by overcoming various forms of resistance and protection characteristic of monologue (closed, role-playing, conventional, manipulative) behavior. The counseling situation is a kind of dialogue in which the therapist's activity is determined by his position of aesthetic outsideness: the client's inner world acts as a displayed and understood object, but not as a field of activity and an object of analysis; The therapist addresses various aspects of the client's inner world. understanding presupposes communication with the client, as with a free person with a dialogic intention, presupposes counter activity of the client. The client's difficulty in entering into a dialogue poses the task of provoking his dialogical intention to the therapist. The general solution in this case is the "principle of silence": the deficit of meaningful reactions of the therapist in dialogue with the client. The dialogical position of the therapist is realized in the following. forms: the postulate of responsibility (the idea of ​​freedom and responsibility of a person for what is happening and for his own condition); orientation to meaning (setting a task for the client on the meaning of counseling with subsequent rethinking of life situations and tasks); fundamental openness (the ability for the client to contact the consultant again at any time, switch to other methods or other specialists); admissibility of advice (as a means of establishing contact with the client, actualizing certain contents in his mind, indicating ignored aspects of his own problems).

The Orthodox tradition in the construction of Family Therapy is that God is the source of man's spiritual energy. The image of God in a person is the core and essence of the personality, it is fundamentally indestructible and inexhaustible, the inner approach to it makes the person himself more and more unique. At the heart of any marriage, which is built on the right (spiritual) foundations, is a meeting (acquaintance as revelation and love). In the family, there are methods and mechanisms for constantly updating the experience of the meeting (individual and church-wide prayer, participation in the liturgical life of the Church), which are both a source of spiritual energy and renewal of interpersonal relationships in the family. These relationships are seen as archetypal and hierarchical (devoid of the fullness of revelation, but full of love). The family is rooted in the genus. The main materializing beginning of the family is the house as a bodily-mental-spiritual space. A house is built and maintained by the constant intercession of at least one member of the family before God. Various attributes of the house (from the roof to the basement) have special semantic meanings and loads in the Orthodox tradition. The house as a material and spiritual combination of these attributes is the need and goal of every person. The path of a particular family is determined by its fate (God's mind) and the joint and free will of all its members.

The main forms of education in the field of family therapy: traditional (lectures, seminars, literature study); joint (practical work under the guidance of a teacher-supervisor); group (various trainings). The latter is the most effective form of training psychologists-practitioners. The training program of education solves 4 main tasks: informs the student, demonstrates situations and techniques, develops psychotherapeutic attitudes and skills, provides conditions for the process of self-research and personal growth of the student. Effective training assumes that the facilitator unites the group of learners, replenishes their self-worth, is authentic and congruent, active and empathic, positive. Constant study and awareness of their own problems by the therapist is a necessary condition for effective S. t. An important feature of such programs is the teamwork of the leaders. The main skills of the therapist: the ability to establish and maintain contact with the client; the ability to analyze the state of the client and his family system; the ability to provide effective directive and directive influence on the client and his family. (A.B. Orlov)

Great Encyclopedia of Psychiatry. Zhmurov V.A.

Family Therapy- the general name of psychotherapeutic techniques in which the family is considered as a whole, without singling out individual individuals for treatment independent of other family members. Family therapy concerns primarily children with disturbed mental balance and problematic marital relationships.

Psychological dictionary. I. Kondakov

Family Therapy

• Word formation - comes from the Greek. therareia - treatment.
• Category is a form of communication psychotherapy.
• Specificity - aimed at harmonizing family relationships.

Among the researchers who have made the most tangible contribution to the development of this approach, the most famous are the following: V. Satir, K. Whitaker, S. Minukhin, M. S. Palazolli, D. Haley, M. Bowen, K. Madanes, L. Hoffman.

Neurology. Complete explanatory dictionary. Nikiforov A.S.

there is no meaning and interpretation of the word

Oxford Dictionary of Psychology

Family Therapy- a general term for a range of therapeutic approaches that consider the family as a whole, without singling out certain individuals for independent treatment. This term is theoretically neutral; Family therapy can be practiced through many different approaches.

subject area of ​​the term

WHO IS A FAMILY PSYCHOLOGIST?

This is a certified specialist engaged in psychological assistance to people using family therapy methods.

WHAT FAMILY THERAPY?

This is a modern direction of psychotherapy, the peculiarity of which is that in it the client is not an individual, but the whole family. Within the framework of this direction, the family is considered as an integral interconnected social system, the features of the functioning of which are subject to the laws of the functioning of systems.

WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE OF FAMILY THERAPY FROM INDIVIDUAL THERAPY?

First of all, the development of family therapy is not linked to the development of individual therapy.The conceptual basis of family psychotherapy was the general systems theory, which is characterized by two provisions:

1) the whole is greater than the sum of its parts;

2) all parts and processes of the whole are interdependent and mutually influence each other.

Applied to the family system the first statement can be reformulatedin the following way:

1)the family is primary in relation to its individual member, i.e. life in the family is regulated by the properties of the system as such.

The family system has its own goals and laws. Its task is to survive and fulfill the functions for which it was created. In addition to individual goals, family members also have common intentions. In addition to their own interests, they also protect family values. Therefore, the system is able to connect people so strongly. The system helps people meet their needs, and people , in turn, "serve" the system. And each of them is to some extent subordinated not to their own motives and needs, but to the needs and patterns of development and functioning of the system. In this regard, the object of psychotherapeutic influence is the entire family system, and not an individual person. This position is one of the main differences between the systems approach,which suggests that a person's behavior is determined not only and not so much by his own needs and motives, but by the features of the functioning of the family system of which he is a member. That is, the desires, needs, intentions and individual characteristics of people are secondary to the influence of the system. Therefore, the focus therapy shifts from analyzing the individual characteristics of family members to discovering dysfunctional ways of interaction between members of the family system.

The second proposition of general systems theory as applied to the family system means what

2) the behavior of each member of the family system affects the rest.

In a systematic family approach, there is a shift in causalconnections from linear to circular. With a linear connection, event A causes event B, i.e. A- is the cause of B, and B- is the effect of A. The law of cause and effect is valid only for inanimate objects. If you push the first of the dominoes made up one after another, then you can predict with a certain accuracy what this will lead to - they will fall in turn and everyone else. In living systems, things are different. “If you want to kick a dog, he can dodge and bite you on the leg.” Human relationships are all the more complex because the reaction of one person affects the behavior of another. In addition, many events occur simultaneously. It is impossible to predict exactly what will happen, as we are constantly reacting to feedback in order to understand what to do next. Thus, cause and effect in a closed loop become pure chance: the behavior of an individual is not only a reaction to the actions of others, but, in turn, affects them. That is, person A affects person B and person C in the same way that B and C affect A in the process of mutual relations.

The principle of the circular modelrelations, which is the basis of the systemfamily therapy, makes it not just a technique, but another, different from individual psychotherapy, way of seeing, defining and solving problems: a person's psychological difficulties are considered as symptoms of problematic systemic relationships. Ordinary, "linear" logic is guided by the question "Why?" and assumes the answer is "Because". A systemic family psychologist is guided by the question "Why?". Events and actions in the family system are interconnected by the type of a closed chain: everything that happens plays its role to achieve a certain goal, for example, to maintain balance, harmony between members of the system, and by and large, for the survival of the system itself. Then any behavior becomes functional, and, therefore, explicable from the point of view of the goal. A symptom can be completely illogical and even destructive for the one who manifests it, but in the general structure it turns out at some point almost the only fulcrum for maintaining stability the entire family building.

Considering any situation from the point of view of systemic interaction allows us to proceed from the belief that any symptom brings a certain "benefit" to all "interested persons." And from this point of view, the question "Why?" sounds like: "Who needs this symptom? What positive intentions does this symptom serve to maintain balance in the family system?" And when this positive intention becomes clear and accepted, then it remains only to find new, safe ways for its implementation. For example, if a child’s symptom allows parents to always have a topic for conversation and unite in their anxiety, then it is necessary to help them find other opportunities for unification, so that the child does not "seem" that the only way to reconcile parents is to get "deuces", get sick or drink alcohol. Here, work is needed not only with the child, but also marital therapy.

It is known that any living and social system strives for development, progress. But this evolution could not be carried out without stabilizing factors that make development gradual and safe. That is why the functioning of the family, like any system, is determined by the action of two laws: the law of homeostasis and the law of development. According to the law of homeostasis, each family strives to maintain its current state. Violation of stability is always painful for all family members, despite the fact that events can be both joyful and long-awaited, for example, the birth of a child, the breakdown of a painful marriage, etc. In accordance with the law of development, each family system tends to go through its life cycle - a certain sequence of changing stages. The stages of the life cycle of a family are associated with some inevitable objective circumstances, one of which is physical time:

1. Family members undergo age-related changes, and, consequently, their psychological needs change.

2. There is an inevitable change in the family structure (the addition of family members and the departure of family members)

Family crises occur most often during transitions from one stage to another. It is at these moments that the methods of achieving goals that were previously used in the family can no longer be effective in meeting the new needs that have arisen among its members. Problems are most likely to occurwhen the desire for development pushes the family and its members to grow and change, and resources, that is, communication skills, role models, support opportunities are not enough. Then the desire for homeostasis, the preservation of its status quo, begins to prevail in the family, which in a situation of crisis is perceived by its members as a safer state. new rules, a new level of mutual understanding and interaction.

The task of the family counselor in such a situation is to help family members and the whole family as a system to FIND RESOURCES to overcome the situation, which at first glance seems to be a dead end, after which the family can move on to the next stage of its development.

WHO DOES A FAMILY PSYCHOLOGIST WORK WITH?

It is possible for a family psychologist to work with any number of family members,starting from its full composition, ending with one person, perhaps not even having a family on this moment.Even if the client is lonely, he still "comes from childhood" with his experience of living in the parental family, in which his beliefs, values, habits and mores were formed, and this childhood "inheritance" is often the source of a person's life difficulties. But The more “complete” the composition of the family, especially at the first “diagnostic” appointment, the more effective the work for the family both in terms of the timing of therapy and the funds spent on it.

Usually, all family members living "under one roof" are invited to the first meeting.In the future, depending on the goals of therapy, a different number of family members may be invited. when working with a divorced woman with children, her ex-husband may need to be involved if they are waging a covert "war" through the children.

If one or more family members refuse to participate injoint work, you can start individual work with one of its members in order to make a decision on the issue that worries the person who personally applied. However, it is necessary to take into account the fact that when one member of the family changes, this may cause resistance from other members of the family, which can unbalance the system - to increase alienation by increasing the distance in the relationship. But it can also cheer up by activating others to “catch up” with the changes of the “growing”. In any case, there is always the opportunity to start working with the family.

WHY IS THE WHOLE FAMILY NEEDED AT THE RECEPTION, IF IT IS NECESSARY TO SOLVE THE PROBLEMS OF SOME ONE?

A family psychologist considers the difficulties of family members in close relationshipwith each other, so the problem of a single family member is considered in a wider family context. When interactions are disrupted in the system, this is expressed in "problem" behavior more often than one person in the family. Most often it becomes a child, because emotional dependence on adults - the basis of his survival. Thus, in order to solve the "problem" of one in the family, it is necessary to detect violations of family interaction and create conditions for the formation of healthy family relationships, and for this, the presence of the whole family is desirable at the reception.

WHAT ARE THE ADVANTAGES OF FAMILY THERAPY?

1. The indisputable advantage of family therapy is its effectiveness.A family psychologist does not work with a symptom (symptomatic behavior is, as a rule, a way of adapting to problematic relationships), but with the source itself - the broken relationships themselves. For example, as a result of the work of an "individual" (not family) psychologist with a child, his problem (shoots from home) may gradually disappear. But since the very reason - intense intra-family interaction was not affected, the problem after some time may either return, or change, or "migrate" to another family member. It can be compared with medicine: when the disease is treated, and not the patient, the treatment will be ineffective.

2. The achieved effect is more effective and long-term, since the whole familyworks for the result (unless, of course, the recommendations of the family psychologist are followed by all family members). If family members have different motivations for change, then those who are more motivated can activate those who are less motivated.

3. Family therapy is more "optimistic" in the sense that it does notpeople's problems with their genetics or painful past experiences. When the causes of the "disease" are in the past, it becomes unclear whether it can be "cured" now. Family therapy looks for causes in the present with which to start doing something now.

4. Family therapy compared to individual "environmentally cleaner". For example,in the process of working with the child of an individual (not a family therapist), the psychologist talks to the child in the way that the mother does not know how or does not want to talk to him, plays like the mother does not play with the child in real life. At the same time, the mother of the child may experience a lot of negative feelings : resentment or guilt in relation to her child, anger and jealousy in relation to the psychologist (for the fact that she could become the "best" mother to her child). The parental authority of the mother falls. A paradox arises: the child's symptoms are weakening, and the tension in the family is growing - and this often becomes the reason that individual therapy stops halfway.

5. Family therapy naturally "removes" the resistance of family members,because in a systematic approach it is impossible to appoint "the one to blame for everything", to determine someone for the role of "the source of all troubles." And although at the very beginning the family may present someone as a family "scapegoat", in the process of work it comes to the understanding that it is impossible to lay all the blame on any particular family member, since everyone makes his "contribution", all family members mutually and mutually shape each other's behavior. The peculiarity of the systematic approach is that all family members are considered not as initially possessing certain innate characteristics, but as showing appropriate behavior depending on the behavior of others. The verb "to be" is replaced by the verb "show", and then none of the people who make up the system, is not characterized by the usual labels for us such as "powerful", "lazy", "aggressive", "touchy", because each behavioral manifestation ceases to be something separate. Laziness can only be afforded by someone who is sure that his duties will still be performed by someone else, even if this displeases this "someone else." The aggressor keeps everyone in fear only until there is someone else in the family who can resist him.

6. Family therapy requires much less time and, accordingly,material costs compared to the individual.

HOW LONG DOES FAMILY THERAPY TAKE?

The duration of family therapy varies. Some familiescome for only one or two sessions, and this is enough for the process of change to occur. Other families need four or five meetings to overcome the crisis that brings the family into therapy. Much less often, more than ten meetings may be needed. The duration of therapy is determined at the conclusion of the contract at the first meeting.

Many factors affect the duration of the work: severity and prescriptionproblems, the number of family members involved in the work, the amount of suffering that pushes people to change, their awareness of their involvement in the created family situation, the degree of courage, desire and readiness for change.

The duration of the work also depends on the depth of study, which is determined bythe family itself. One of the founders of family therapy, Carl Whitaker, comparing himself to a music teacher, suggested that the family learn to play as well as they need. It is enough for many to learn how to play popular motives. Some people want to play Beethoven well, and this can take a lot of time.

Family therapy has a second name - "short-term, focused onsolution therapy". The task of a family psychologist is to give impetus to change, start a positive family process, help the family see or find its resources so that it can continue to exist without the help of a psychologist, coping with its problems on its own.

HOW TO CHOOSE A QUALIFIED FAMILY PSYCHOLOGIST?

A qualified family psychologist is a specialist with a higherpsychological education and having undergone a long (2 years or more) training "Family Therapy", which has a document confirming this. Such a document is the Certificate of a Family Psychotherapist. Such certificates are issued only by fairly large and "serious" organizations, the names of which are also worth paying attention to These are, first of all, the Institute of Group and Family Psychology and Psychotherapy, the Institute of Integrative Family Therapy, the Institute of Practical Psychology and Psychoanalysis, etc.

WHAT CAN WORK WITH A FAMILY PSYCHOLOGIST GIVE?

Working with a family psychologist will help:

Improve understanding in the family;

Learn to express your feelings, thoughts, desires, as well as claims and dissatisfaction in a constructive way in which they can be heard by a partner;

Clarify accumulated grievances and disappointments;

Solve problems in the intimate sphere of relationships;

Overcome family crisis;

Learn to overcome conflicts;

Make a choice in a situation where spouses are on the verge of divorce;

Decide how to continue the relationship after infidelity and whether it should be done;

To overcome the difference in views on the issues of raising children;

Find a common language for parents with teenage children;

In informing about the peculiarities of the age and mental development of the child and receive recommendations on his upbringing;

Overcome difficulties in communicating with the older generation, etc.

HOW DOES A FAMILY PSYCHOLOGIST WORK?

The methods of work of a family psychologist are extremely diverse: fromthe traditional "conversational" genre, which is carried out according to certain rules before using various techniques: sociometric, paradoxical, psychodramatic, behavioral; a technique for working with family rules, family history, family structure, using fantasies and images. These can be group games, writing fairy tales, creating a common drawing and even family sculpture. As a rule, the family is given homework - family members must practice new ways of communicating, re-distributing household responsibilities, drawing up a marriage contract and much more.

Numerous and varied techniques as tools of work allowachieve the goal as quickly and as cost-effectively as possible.

When a family collapses, every day is marked by quarrels, conflicts and mutual misunderstanding. A common language can be found through a tool such as systemic family therapy.

This should not be afraid or embarrassed - perhaps the cause of the problems was the difficulties that had to be endured, or some kind of understatement that people cannot throw out at each other. To prevent the collapse of family values ​​and the bonds of marriage, psychologists have developed family therapy techniques that successfully solve many problems.

Therapy - saving the family

The reaction to this method of helping families in crisis is different: distrust, skepticism, or laughter. The problem is that people do not fully understand its meaning and do not allow the thought that it can save a family.

Family therapy is an unusual area of ​​therapy that aims to prevent problems and "work on mistakes" in relationships between family members. Family psychology is designed to prevent any emotional failure in the family.

By resorting to her help, patients gradually begin to build relationships, namely:

• Deeper understanding of such a concept as a family system, comprehending its essence.
• You realize that you are part of the family. Establishing relationships with "problem" relatives and restoring mutual understanding.
• Family harmony sets in, all family members understand each other.
• The fear of a thorough analysis of problems disappears, discarding a superficial approach on the path to harmony. Problems will be solved, there will be surprise: “Why didn’t we do this earlier?”
• Clarification of relations with parents - mom and dad. How close are you, what is your communication based on? Understand how it affects existing relationships and future relationships.
• Restoring pleasant relationships with siblings.
• There is a knowledge of the intimate side of your relationship. Together, what is important, you are looking for answers to the questions: where is the former passion? Where did the fire and the thrill of past feelings go?
• There can be no “third superfluous” in the family. Everyone is needed, needed. This is what family therapy helps to understand.
• If there is a fact of treason, then you need to analyze all its aspects. This topic is extremely painful, but leaving everything as it is, you will not get off the ground.
• To know each stage of the relationship, to understand at what stage you are now, rethinking what went through together and what awaits you.
• Learning to speak with your children “on an equal footing”, and it is extremely useful for children to learn this.
• Do not remain an eternal irremovable "scapegoat" for all sins and do not give such a "gift" to anyone.
• Re-become each other's support in everything.
• Acquire knowledge that will help make the future of your family prosperous.
• Realize with all your heart and soul: the family is a support, people who will always be there, no matter what.

Ways to Heal the Family

Psychologists have developed the following methods of family therapy.

Attachment method. The therapist "enters" the family, becoming its full and full member. The specialist delves into the essence of family life, doing everything possible to guide everyone, including himself.

The structure of the role-playing game looks like this:

1. First stage. A family, for example, of 4 people, must introduce themselves and describe their problem, and this is not so easy. The psychologist identifies the most active of them by the one who first speaks and tells about the purpose of his visit.

2. Stage of data collection. The specialist needs to know the vision of the problem by each member of the family. Only after listening to everyone, he does the following (assuming that the reason for the visit is a difficult teenager): “I listened to you all, and I really see the problem, but this is not a problem of one person, but of the whole family.”

The reaction is different - denial or agreement with what was said, but the problem will lie precisely in the difficult interaction between family members. The psychologist can even become a member of your family for a while and, through communication, lead you to realize what the problem really is. Usually they look for good sides and try to strengthen and strengthen them: “Less screaming and nagging, listen more and talk with the child.”

3. Stage of search for results. The specialist gives family members a chance to take stock and find a way out of the problem situation. It does not need one speaker, it requires joint efforts and interest.

4. Stage of alternative solutions. Here, psychologists ask the family to act out the situation. Everything is important - and what mom will do, how dad will behave, and what will be the reaction of the children.

During the game, they can be stopped, corrected, suggested more correct actions and words. They also give a “homework assignment”: what not to do, and what, on the contrary, to do, and then they discuss the result together at the session. The main thing is that all participants in the session should speak out, otherwise it will not be family therapy, but individual therapy.

observation method. The psychologist observes how patients listen to each other, how words react. Then, based on his observations, draws conclusions and makes recommendations.

redesign method. The specialist tries to pay attention to the positive aspects and arouse the desire to develop them.

Family treatments

Family therapy techniques are the means by which psychologists make changes in the structure of family relationships.

Psychologists N. Fredman and R. Sherman in the process of research have identified the following techniques:

• Sociometric techniques, which are considered the most popular and used, due to their versatility. With their help, you can “patch” the cracks in the family ark, relying on strengths.
• Behavioral techniques with which a psychologist can get to the root of the problem. Here, the very behavior of family members in relation to each other is corrected. This is a very effective family therapy technique.
• Paradoxical techniques that have a quick and effective ability to solve family problems. Here the problem seems to be solved by itself.
• A technique based on the imagination. This technique is carried out by means of associative elements.

Criticism and recognition

This method of therapy is quite young, and many techniques have not yet been fully disclosed. The beginning of systemic family therapy was laid in the post-war years, and America is considered to be its homeland.

The peculiarity of this approach lies in the fact that the client is the whole family as a whole, and not each person individually. The family becomes the object of psychotherapeutic influence. The recognition of the new method occurred first in Germany, then in Sweden and Austria.

The method collects laurels to this day, being effective and economical in the therapeutic world of psychotherapy. At the same time, systemic family therapy has a long-term effect.

This technique has been actively developed in recent years: several new studies have been proposed, and now they are at the stage of active development of unknown facts.

However, systemic therapy is severely criticized for the lack of its own theories, concepts, proposals that would be widely recognized and popular. Here, the methods and data do not always coincide with what is written in the textbooks. Systemic therapy is rather heuristic in nature.

Systemic family therapy is popular because it helps to solve many problems: the problem of generations, insoluble conflicts, accumulated resentments, and many other problems.

With its help, family members learn to speak and listen, and most importantly, to hear each other. Representatives of different generations reach mutual understanding. They learn not to accumulate resentment, not to keep it in themselves, but to speak, discuss and solve family problems together. Family counseling is becoming a popular psychological approach in our country as well. Author: Vera Chuguevskaya

The history of the development of systemic family therapy shows that this area of ​​practice did not develop in the same way as most psychotherapeutic schools and approaches. Many psychotherapeutic approaches describe cases of working with married couples or with parent-child conflicts. The Handbook of Family Counseling and Psychotherapy (Horne and Ohlsen, 1982) describes the work with families within various psychotherapeutic schools: transactional analysis, gestalt therapy, client-centered approach, Adlerian and rational-emotive psychotherapy, behavioral psychotherapy and NLP.

At the same time, the development of systemic family psychotherapy is not associated with the development of individual psychotherapy. “The study of the family as a system has no history, no accepted concepts, no established discoveries” (Spiegel and Bell, 1959). In their monograph, Erickson and Hogan (1972) argue that their analysis of the literature did not reveal any evidence that systemic family therapy "grew" from any previously existing theoretical positions in psychotherapy.

The conceptual basis of systemic family psychotherapy was cybernetics, more precisely, general systems theory. One of the founders of the general theory of systems, L. von Bertalanffy, showed that the concept of a system follows from the so-called “organismic view of the world”. This view is characterized by two provisions: a) the whole is greater than the sum of its parts; b) all parts and processes of the whole influence and condition each other. Thus, the basic idea of ​​systemic family psychotherapy is that the family is a social system, that is, a complex of elements and their properties that are in dynamic connections and relationships with each other. The family is “a living organism, resembling a flame rather than a crystal” (Chernikov, 1997).

The family system is an open system, it is in constant interchange with the environment. The family system is a self-organizing system, that is, the behavior of the system is expedient, and the source of the system's transformations lies within itself (Chernikov, 1997). Based on this, it is clear that the people who make up the family act one way or another under the influence of the rules for the functioning of this family system, and not under the influence of their needs and motives. The system is primary in relation to the element included in it. It is clear that the object of psychotherapeutic influence is the entire family system, and not an individual person, an element of this system. Consider the general principles of the functioning of family systems.

The laws of the functioning of family systems

The life of the family system is subject to two laws: the law of homeostasis and the law of development. The law of homeostasis says: every system strives for constancy, for stability. For a family, this means that at every given moment in its existence it seeks to preserve status quo. Violation of this status is always painful for all family members, despite the fact that events can be both joyful and long-awaited, for example, the birth of a child, the breakdown of a painful marriage, etc. The law of permanence has tremendous power. As the studies of Jay Haley (1980) have shown, due to the desire to prevent the departure of an adult child from the family and thereby preserve the family structure, parents are able to tolerate any psychopathological behavior of an adolescent to the complete amazement of all outsiders. At the same time, the law of development operates: every family system tends to go through a full life cycle. It was noted that the family in its development goes through certain stages associated with certain inevitable objective circumstances. One such circumstance is physical time. The age of family members changes all the time and necessarily changes the family situation. As shown by Eric Erickson, each age period in a person's life corresponds to certain psychological needs that a person seeks to fulfill. Along with age, the demands for life in general and for close people in particular also change. This determines the style of communication and, accordingly, the family itself. The birth of a child, the death of an old person - all this significantly changes the structure of the family and the quality of interaction of family members with each other.

The family is like a river that can never be entered twice. A version of the typical American family life cycle has been proposed (Carter and McGoldrick, 1980).

1. The first stage is the life of a lonely young man, financially practically independent, living separately from his parents. This stage has been called "the time of the monad." It is very important for the formation of independent views on life independent of parents.

2. The second stage begins at the moment of meeting with the future marriage partner. Falling in love, romance, the emergence of the idea of ​​a marriage union, that is, a long-term, stable relationship - all this applies to her. If this stage of the life cycle is successful, then the partners manage to exchange expectations regarding the future life together, and sometimes even agree on them.

3. The third stage - the conclusion of marriage, the union of lovers under one roof, the beginning of a joint household, a common life. This stage has been called "the time of the dyad." This is the time of the first family crisis. Young people must make an agreement on how to live together. Willingly or involuntarily, to organize life, it is necessary to decide how functions are distributed in the family, who invents and organizes entertainment, who decides what to spend money on, which of the spouses work and who does not, when to have a child, what behavior and what appearance are sexually attractive and, and many similar equally important things. Some issues are easy to discuss and agree on, and some are difficult to openly discuss because preferences are often not clear and not spoken out. This is especially true for sexual behavior. The young wife grew up in a family where external relaxation was not welcomed. Mom didn’t go in a dressing gown, she wore shoes at home and put on makeup for dad’s arrival. Dad appreciated it. The young husband could not stand his wife in high heels. In his memories, high heels were worn by a teacher he hated. He loved his mother, who did not work and went home in a dressing gown and slippers. The wife, wishing to please her husband and dreaming of spending an evening of love at home, meets him on the threshold wearing makeup and high heels. He, seeing her, thinks that she is ready to go. He may have thought to spend a quiet evening at home, but, loving his wife and understanding her without words, he immediately goes with her to a restaurant, for example, or to friends. She is perplexed. A terrible thought in his wife: "Does not want to be with me." But she fell ill and, full of self-disgust, walks at home in a dressing gown and slippers. The husband burns with passion at this time. The wife is not ready to comply: she feels bad and is disgusted with herself. My husband has a terrible thought: “He doesn’t want to be with me.” This can be the beginning of sexual disharmony.

4. The fourth stage occurs if the crisis of the third stage is overcome, the marriage is preserved and, most importantly, the first child has appeared. The crisis arising at this stage is even more serious. A third family member appeared, the family structure changed. On the one hand, it has become more stable, and on the other hand, the members of this new system have become more distant in relation to each other. A new contract is needed, as there is a need for a redistribution of roles, time, money, etc. Who will get up to the child at night? Will the parents stay at home together or take turns visiting, or will the wife be with the child, and the husband will live as a single? If the baby did not bring alienation into marital relations, moreover, rallied the parents, this stage was successfully passed. It may be that the child brings a sense of routine and monotony to life; it seems to the spouses that youth and the holiday are over and endless everyday life has begun, the husband feels abandoned and suspects that his wife is cheating on him with a baby. The wife knows for sure that she is abandoned with a child in her arms, and suddenly realizes that she is married to a frivolous teenager and that the hardships of family life are about to break her back. All of these are signs of an unsuccessful passage of the fourth stage. This does not necessarily lead to divorce, but usually the law of homeostasis provides the family system with complex and elaborate stabilizers. For example, regular betrayals are suitable, which are casually hidden so that the scandals and the reconciliations that follow them create the illusion of closeness and save the family. Also suitable is a chronic disease in one of the spouses or any other form of personal impotence - alcoholism, inability to professional success, etc.

5. The fifth stage of the family life cycle is characterized by the appearance of a second child. It passes quite simply, since it is not necessary to conclude a new agreement on how to live with children and who is responsible for what, as was the case at the previous stage. Of course, there can be many more children than two, but the model of two children can show all the necessary patterns in the development of the family system. There are data on the dependence of the family role and the birth order of the child. For example, often the eldest girl in the family becomes an ersatz mother, a nanny for the next children; she is responsible for the younger ones and is often deprived of the opportunity to live her own life, and besides, she does not know how to answer for herself. The middle child is often the most prosperous in the family, free from family scenarios and debts. It is believed that rivalry between children is inevitable. Parents face the problems of children's jealousy and must somehow solve them. At this point, there is a connection of times, because it is in solving this problem that parents often project their childhood experience into today. Overcontrol of children's relationships, the constant position of an arbiter betrays the need to confirm one's own importance and, consequently, the experience of humiliation in childhood. With the advent of children, a new subsystem appears in the family system. In the case of a functional family, a marital subsystem and a children's subsystem will be distinguished in its structure. In a dysfunctional family, there may be “wrong” subsystems: coalitions of a mother with one child against a father with another, or a mother with children on one side and a father on the other. The boundaries between family subsystems are an important point in organizing the life and mental health of members of the system. If the boundaries of the subsystems are very rigid (for example, after the child is put to bed, they do not approach him until the morning, no matter what), then psychosomatic diseases may occur in children, since only very strong irritants (diseases with spectacular manifestations) can cross the border of their subsystem and approach their parents. If the boundaries of the subsystems are very permeable, then all members of the system are deprived of the opportunity to live their private lives, what is called in English privacy, fusion occurs, enmeshment, confusion of roles, "fertile" children and infantile parents. It is not clear who makes decisions, who is responsible for whom, and much more.

6. The sixth stage is the school years of children. At this time, the family comes face to face with the rules and norms of the outside world, which are different from the rules of intra-family life. Here questions are decided about what is considered success and what is failure, how to become successful, what price the family is willing to pay for external success and compliance with social norms and standards. For example, a hypersocializing family does not consider any price too high for success, and a loser, of course, cries and loses family support. A hypersocializing family is a family with very porous external boundaries. The more permeable external boundaries, the less permeable are the boundaries of family subsystems. Relationships between family members are spontaneous and are regulated mainly by norms, rules, and traditions that are very difficult to change. A dissident family, that is, a family that is in opposition to external norms and rules, has closed external borders and often very porous internal borders. In such families, the problem of fidelity may arise, and not marital fidelity, but fidelity to family norms and values, a kind of guild or aristocratic brotherhood, violation of the rules of which threatens with ostracism.

So, at this stage of the family life cycle, the boundaries of the family system, the exportability of norms, myths, rules and games are tested.

7. The seventh stage of the family life cycle is associated with the time of puberty of children. It begins with the period of puberty in the first child. The leading need of the child at this time is to build his identity, to answer the question: who am I and where am I going. The answer “I am my parents' child” is not enough to build an identity. Examples are sought outside the family, among peers, unrelated adults. The family at this time must solve the most important task: to prepare the child for separation, for independent living. This is precisely the point where the viability and effectiveness of the functioning of the family system is tested. If the family successfully copes with this task, then it passes between Scylla and Charybdis and emerges into the calm expanse of life's voyage.

Consider this period of family life in more detail. Usually, the period of puberty of the child coincides with the midlife crisis in the parents. This means that at a time when the child seeks to escape from family influence, wants to change his fate or at least the course of life, his parents really need to maintain the usual stability. The mid-life crisis occurs when a person realizes that certain events and facts of his life are irreversible: a profession has been chosen and some results have been achieved or not achieved in the professional field, a family has been created, children have been raised to a large extent, it's time to sum up, albeit preliminary, but the results. Doing this is scary because they can be disappointing. At the same time, it becomes clear that there is not so much time left for life, strength is decreasing, the recognition of oneself as a loser seems fatal and incorrigible. Bad kids are a good excuse: “I didn’t have a significant career because I had very difficult (sick) kids and spent a lot of time on them.” To preserve parental self-esteem, it is better for children to be unviable. As you can see, at this stage of the life cycle, the interests of children and parents are directly opposite.

Very often, the stability of the family system directly depends on whether the children continue to live in the parental family. Often, during their life together, children learn to perform certain psychological functions in the family, for example, they become mediators between parents. If children leave the family and, even worse, become independent and successful, that is, they do not need the attention and help of their parents, then parents are faced with the need to communicate directly with each other, face to face. In order to be able to live, it is necessary to solve a lot of problems that have accumulated while there were children in the family.

Many scandals were postponed and turned into monuments to themselves, sexual problems were not solved for years and much more. If there is no excuse in the form of children, then all these problems will have to be solved, which is painful and unpleasant and, in addition, may lead to divorce. It is much easier not to allow separation or allow it formally. For example, a child formally lives separately, goes to college somewhere in another city, even got married, but according to the criteria of the parental family, he has not yet got on his feet, has not reached the required level of income, or does not work where, according to the family, he should would work. His failures are the perfect stabilizer for the family. They also divert the time and energy of the rest of the family and allow you not to solve other family problems. If the child nevertheless stubbornly moves towards success, then there are many ways to get him to turn off this path. Jay Haley's book Leaving Home (Haley, 1980) is dedicated to this. Its main thesis is that the maladjustment and eccentricity of the behavior of a young person have a protective character. As soon as the parental family is faced with the fact that the child is ready for separation, it becomes unstable and disorganized. Conflicts are becoming more frequent, the well-being of family members is deteriorating. This is a signal for a young man who informs him that his family is in danger of falling apart or, at best, changing the structure and habitual ways of interaction. In order to keep everything the same, he develops eccentric and maladaptive behavior. Jay Haley believes that any member of any organization in a similar case is ready to take on the role of a stabilizer through disrupted behavior. In addition to specific behavioral disorders, chronic diseases, sometimes mental ones, can develop. Given that children normally outlive their parents, the problem of family stabilization, at least as long as the parents are alive, can be solved.

So, this stage of the family life cycle is the most difficult for all family members, the most problematic and painful. Here the family must rebuild its external and internal boundaries, conclude a new contract between all members, learn to live in a changed composition.

8. The eighth stage is a repetition of the third stage, only the members of the dyad are at a different age. The children have grown up and live independent lives, the parents are left alone. This stage is often referred to as the empty nest stage. It is good if the family reached this stage of the life cycle without great losses and people enjoy spending time with each other, preserving the joy of mutual communication.

9. The ninth stage of the life cycle is the life of the monad, loneliness; the spouse has died, the person lives his life alone, just as he lived in his youth, not yet creating his own family, only now he is an old man who has a life behind him.

The life cycle of the Russian urban family is significantly different from the American one. These differences are primarily related to economic reasons, but the cultural features of the consciousness of Russian residents are also significant. The main difference is that in Russia there were practically no nuclear families living separately: firstly, because the majority of the population does not have the money to buy a separate apartment or build a house; secondly, the life of a large family is not considered difficult and unpleasant. The value of family relationships is very high, and any elderly woman can be addressed as “grandmother” - this will be both appropriate and polite. The words “Son, help” or “Daughter, thank you”, which we hear from strangers, simply cause an uninvited tear. The famous Stalinist "Brothers and Sisters!", which replaced the ideology of the class struggle, gave rise to an explosion of patriotism during the Great Patriotic War.

Consider the life cycle of the Russian family.

1. The first stage of the life cycle is a parental family with adult children. Young people do not have the opportunity to experience an independent, independent life. All his life a young man is an element of his family system, a bearer of its norms and rules, a child of his parents. Usually he does not have a clear idea of ​​\u200b\u200bwhat was achieved in his life by himself personally, it is difficult for him to develop a sense of personal responsibility for his own destiny. He cannot test in practice those rules of life, standards and norms that he received from his parents, and often cannot develop his own rules. Self-made-man, that is, a person who has made himself, is a rare phenomenon.

2. In the second stage of the family life cycle, one of the young people meets a future marriage partner, marries and brings him to his parents' house. This is a significant break in the rules of the parental family. The task is very difficult - to create a small family inside a big one. Young people must agree not only with each other about how they will live together, according to what rules (cf. the second and third stages of the nuclear family). They still have to agree with their parents, or rather, re-negotiate about how they will get along with each other. Patriarchal rules offer a variant of such an agreement: a young spouse or spouse enters a large family with the rights of another child - a son or daughter. It is proposed to call the parents of a husband or wife “mother” and “dad”. Then the young spouses, as it were, are not spouses, but newly found brother and sister. Not every young family is ready for such a relationship scenario. Well, if the spouses are not ready for this together, it is much worse when someone alone is not ready for this. Then one member of the couple wants to be a husband or wife in the first place, and a son or daughter in the second place, while the other spouse has the opposite priorities. The conflict that arises in this case is known to everyone and often looks like a quarrel between the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law or between the son-in-law and the wife's parents. In fact, it is based on the conflict of role priorities of the spouses.

The new subsystem first of all needs separation, the old system, obeying the law of homeostasis, wants to keep everything as it was. Thus, a paradoxical situation is created: there is a marriage, as it were, and at the same time it is, as it were, not there. The situation is painful for everyone. For example, in one family, the husband's mother kept her belongings in the closet of the room where the young man had lived since the time he was a child. When he married, she did not change her habits, and there was nowhere to put a new wardrobe, and there was no money for it. Mother came into the room to the newlyweds at any time for her things. It is not surprising that young people could not save their marriage. Intrusion into the life of young spouses is not necessarily accompanied by conflict, bad relationships in the family. One tender mother was very glad about the marriage of her son and at night she came into the room of the young, of course, without knocking, "to admire these doves."

3. The third stage of the family cycle is associated with the birth of a child. This is also a crisis period for the entire system. Again, it is necessary to agree on who does what and who is responsible for what. In families with blurred boundaries of subsystems and indistinct organization, family roles are often poorly defined. For example, it is not clear who is a functional grandmother and who is a functional mother, that is, who actually takes care of, cares for, and raises a child. Often these roles are confused, and the child is more like the son or daughter of the grandmother than the mother. The child's own parents are rather older brother and sister. Her mother and father work, and her grandmother is retired. She spends a lot of time with the child, and at the same time, the relationship between mother and grandmother may not be good at all. This circumstance cannot but affect the child. He often joins the fight. My colleague M. Harutyunyan told a case from her practice that perfectly illustrates this situation.

The family approached about the misbehavior of a girl of eleven years old who behaved aggressively towards her grandmother. The family consisted of three women: grandmother, mother and girl - an identified patient. My grandmother and mother had a difficult conflict relationship. One winter, the girl locked her grandmother on the balcony and did not let her into the room for a long time. After this episode, the family decided to see a psychotherapist. When mother told how her daughter offended her grandmother, her eyes burned with triumph. The daughter did in life what the mother could not afford.

4. At the fourth stage, the second child appears in the family. As in the Western counterpart, this stage is quite mild, since it largely repeats the previous stage and does not bring anything radically new to the family, except for childish jealousy.

5. At the fifth stage, the progenitors begin to actively age and get sick. The family is in crisis again. Old people become helpless and dependent on the middle generation. In fact, they take the position of small children in the family, however, encountering, however, more often with annoyance and irritation than with love. Old people turn out to be unwanted and unloved children, while in the course of their previous lives they used to be in charge, make decisions for everyone, and be aware of all events. This is the stage of the next revision of the treaty, painful for everyone. In culture, there is a stereotype of a “good daughter (son)”: this is the one who, in old age, brings a glass of water to his parents. Old people who have no relatives are pitiable, since “there is no one to give them a glass of water.” Reproach to bad children: "There is no one to ask for a glass of water." That is, in the public mind there is no model of a lonely and independent life for the elderly. It is considered unworthy to let your old people die outside the home, to be placed in a nursing home, during an illness it is considered a special valor to treat an old person at home, not to send him to the hospital.

Often this period in the life of older family members coincides with the period of puberty of children. In such a family, it goes differently than in a nuclear family. Coalitions of old people with teenagers against the middle generation can arise; for example, old people cover late absences and school failures of teenagers.

At the same time, the middle generation has good control over teenagers. Sick old people in the house require care and supervision. This duty can be passed on to teenagers, tying them to the house, depriving them of harmful street company, slowing down the process of building their identity.

6. The sixth stage repeats the first. The old people have died, and before us is a family with adult children. Often this is the minimum possible size of a Russian family.

Many stages of the life cycle of an American family are present in the life cycle of a Russian urban family, for example, the stage of courtship, the conclusion of an unspoken (or partly public) marriage contract between two partners, the birth of children, the stages of their psychological development, etc. But they are present in an altered form, in context of a large three-generation family. The main features of the Russian family are that

the family, as a rule, is not nuclear, but three-generation;

The material and moral dependence of family members on each other is very high;

the boundaries of the family system have some features; as a rule, they are not adequate to the requirements of the optimal organization;

Often all of the above leads to the phenomenon of unity, confusion of family roles, indistinct division of functions, the need to negotiate all the time and the impossibility of agreeing for a long time, substitution, when everyone in the family can functionally be everyone and at the same time nobody. For example, in a family where a grandmother is raising a child, she is actually a functional mother to her grandson; husband and wife share a bed, are intimately connected, but may not be connected in a caring and close relationship, because the husband is spiritually and emotionally closer to his mother. He takes care of her interests first and foremost. Functionally, this man is his mother's husband and his wife's lover. The family lives mainly on the husband's money, but the same grandmother distributes the family budget, so functionally she is the head of the family;

Individuality and sovereignty are practically absent. The younger generation is much more closely and rigidly connected with the previous generation than in the West; tradition, continuity and at the same time conflict are expressed very clearly. Each member of the family is in daily contact with large quantity loved ones. He is included in various difficult relationships, at the same time he performs many social roles, which often do not fit well with each other. Social literacy, in a certain sense, resourcefulness and at the same time dialogism - this is what a child learns very early. With such a family organization, the main issue is often the question of power. It is solved in the context of any communication: dad forbids, and mom allows something to the child; all this is done in front of the child and the message is this: “The child obeys me, not you, which means that I am more important.”

Thus, any family system tends to go through its life cycle in accordance with the law of development of systems. At the same time, each stage of the family's life cycle tends to stop forever, never to change, according to the law of homeostasis.

Family system properties

The family system can be described in several ways. Six informative parameters can be distinguished:

Features of the relationship of family members;

• public and unspoken rules of life in the family;

family myths;

family boundaries

Stabilizers of the family system;

family history.

Let's consider the first parameter. Features of the relationship of family members are manifested in communication; communication here means absolutely any event that occurs in the family. Lateness and silence, frank conversations and general fun, shopping and cooking - all this is informative, special, unique communication for this system. Even the seemingly lack of communication, silence, is a powerful informative message. You can stop talking to a person (child, spouse, spouse), and it will be clear to everyone that this is an expression of disapproval and discontent and the desire to ostracize the guilty person.

Communication can be verbal and non-verbal; most often it happens both at the same time. Impulsive, abrupt movements, slamming the door, the roar of pots express without words the state of mind of a person, and what he wants his family members to know about this state. Perhaps this is a call for help, a complaint or reproach: “Look what you have brought me to,” etc. If this is accompanied by appropriate text, then the picture will be complete and complete. The verbal and non-verbal parts of the message complement each other and are in harmony.

It often happens that these parts of the message are not at all in harmony, moreover, they contradict each other. Such situations occur at every turn. For example, flirting. People seem to be talking about serious and quite decent topics, even business ones. At the same time, non-verbally, with their looks, postures, gestures, interpersonal distance, they conduct a completely different “conversation”. The situation is exciting and safe precisely because it is possible to ignore non-verbal text or pay no attention to verbal messages. This case is harmless. As soon as the contradictions of verbal and non-verbal plans fall into the family context and become the rule of communication there, serious violations of the behavior and well-being of family members, especially children, arise. In his famous work “On the Communication Theory of Schizophrenia”, G. Bateson and co-authors showed how autism develops in a child in situations where he systematically encounters conflicting messages in his family. In a situation of such communication, the child cannot behave adequately, since the reaction to any one part of the message automatically leads to the fact that the second part of the message is not taken into account and the child is blamed for this. No matter how he behaves, he is inadequate and cannot adapt to reality, cannot behave correctly. The work gives a vivid example: a boy suffering from schizophrenia is in the hospital. Mom comes to visit him. The boy comes out to her in the hall and sits next to her. Mom moves away. The boy freezes and is silent. Mom asks with displeasure: “Are you not glad to see me?” This communication situation has been called the "double trap": whatever the child does, he will be blamed. It is impossible to adapt to reality - it is better to withdraw into oneself, become autistic, because a child cannot get out of a situation of communication in reality, for example, arbitrarily change his family.

So, everything that happens in the family is a message. Illnesses, for example, is a strong and very informative message that effectively regulates the family situation. Let's say dad wants his son to be strong, brave, that is, a real man. He believes that a real man is one who takes risks, is independent, etc. Mom does not want her son to risk his health and be independent. It is more pleasant for her when he is at home, in plain sight. She cannot openly contradict her husband. The boy, of course, also wants freedom. At the same time, he is a little scared to fly free. How to be? The boy is going to the mountains with a youth company. The father is happy and supports his son's intentions. The boy both wants and does not want. Mom is totally against it. If she protests openly, a scandal is inevitable. Quite by chance, on the eve of her son's departure, she falls seriously ill. The boy is forced to stay. Everyone is happy. Diseases thus become a way - and a worthy one - of solving many problems. This would not be possible if they were not means of communication. All the games perfectly described by E. Berne are some stereotypes of behavior that are forms of communication; they carry certain messages that are not pronounced, but are clearly understood by everyone.

The second parameter is the rules of life of the family system. Rules are given by society and culture, and then they are shared by many families, and are unique for each individual family. Everyone knows the cultural rules of family life: for example, everyone knows that parents should not make love in front of their children. The unique rules are known only to family members.

Rules are the family's decision about how to relax and run a household, how to spend money and who exactly can do it in the family and who can't, who buys, who does laundry, who cooks, who praises, and who mostly scolds. Who forbids and who allows. In a word, this is the distribution of family roles and functions, the distribution of places in the family hierarchy, the decision about what is allowed and what is not, what is good and what is bad.

In a large family, consisting of only adults, a late and dearly beloved child is growing up. The most frequently followed rule of this family: in no case do not scold the child for anything, but praise at every opportunity, admire and be touched inwardly and out loud, individually and in groups. Such behavior, according to the rule of this family, is an expression of love for the child. If someone, a guest or a distant relative, violates this rule - does not praise, does not admire, or, worse, makes a remark to the child, then he will violate the essential rule of the life of this family, put everyone in an awkward position and will not be a welcome guest in the future. The law of homeostasis requires the preservation of family rules in a permanent form. Changing family rules is a painful process for family members.

“The Village of Stepanchikovo and Its Inhabitants” is a wonderful, artistic example of what happens when family rules are broken. The rule was very simple: everything in the house should go as Foma Fomich Opiskin wants. This is a rule for building a family hierarchy, arranging statuses. What happened when this simple rule was violated is described in the wonderful story of F. M. Dostoevsky on many, many pages. In fact, there are many complex, ornate rules in families, vowels (such as: “If you are late, warn”), unspoken, penetrating our lives. A family therapist must be able to quickly figure out some important rules for the functioning of the family system. Of course, all parameters of the family system are interconnected. In particular, the rules are directly related, and often dictated by family myth.

So, the third parameter of the family system is a myth. A family myth is a kind of form-building and uniting all members of the family idea or image, or history, if you like, ideology. It is knowledge shared by all members of the family system and answers the question, "Who are we?" For example, a common answer is: “We are a friendly family.” This means that there can be no open conflicts in this family, and even more so with children. Litter from the hut is never taken out. Relations are not clarified openly, all contradictions are glossed over. It is customary to go everywhere together, since the myth requires dissemination in society, a kind of publication. Any behavior of family members towards each other, whatever it may be, is understood as a manifestation of good feelings. “I wish you well”, or “I love it”, or the classic: “Beats - it means loves”. The myth sets the norm of feeling. In a “friendly family” it is customary to love, pity and feel gratitude. Other feelings - resentment, anger, disappointment, etc. - are ignored or forced out. Problems begin when someone in the family is unable to ignore their normal and inevitable negative feelings towards relatives. He becomes an identified patient. Anxiety and depressive disorders, aggressive behavior, anorexia are typical problems of a “friendly family”.

Myth gives rise to rules and rituals. Breaking the rules, especially systematic ones, can destroy a myth. Myth is the banner under which the family gathers, it is the motto, it is faith. If someone in the family does not share the family myth, he cannot be a member of this system; the system kicks him out. The only time this is possible is if the family has a rebel myth. Then disagreement with the main myth confirms another myth, and the system remains unchanged.

Another example of a family myth is the myth of the savior: “What would we do without...” There must be a certain person in the family who holds the whole family in outstretched arms. It is clear that in order to help everyone, it is necessary that they all be slightly disabled, otherwise it will turn out that no one needs a savior. The Savior can be in a moral hypostasis, and maybe in a physical one, however, it can be both. A moral savior needs sinners. His family should consist of people who often do something bad: drink, steal, walk, get into bad stories. The Savior helps out, and only in this case can he feel like a savior. Sinners give thanks, promise to be corrected and... sin again. The physical savior nurses, heals, feeds, brings food, etc. Therefore, his family consists of sick, helpless, crippled, otherwise how could he save them?

Let me give you one case as an example.

A middle-aged man asked about a difficult relationship with his wife. They were in the first marriage, which was concluded out of great love. After three years of married life, they had a child, unfortunately, with a severe birth injury. The wife quit her job and devoted herself entirely to the child. The husband devoted himself entirely to earning money. Together they built a family, adored their boy and generally lived together. The boy grew up, was constantly observed by doctors, did not go to kindergarten, did not go to school either. By the time of his appeal, he was twelve years old, he did not go to school, his mother did not work. Some doctors said the boy could go to school, while others advised leaving him homeschooled if possible. In a word, mom and son were always together, dad worked a lot. As long as dad saved only his son, the situation was bearable. A year before the conversion, the grandmother, the mother of our hero, was widowed.

She was left completely alone, and her son tried to provide her with a peaceful old age. One winter, my grandmother almost fell on the way to the bakery, after which it was decided that her son would bring all the products to her. She didn't leave the house at all. They lived separately, and my client had to drive quite a distance to his mother. For the summer now it was impossible to go anywhere. Communication by telephone was carried out twice a day in the morning and in the evening, absolutely rigorously. After about six months of such a life, my client began to notice that for some reason he had little strength, and his wife was irritated all the time.

He was a wonderful husband and father, now he has become a selfless son. His wife was also an excellent mother and homemaker. For the sake of their loved ones, they denied themselves everything, lived to the point of wear and tear and ... preserved, and in some ways even gave rise to the “disabled self-consciousness” of the child and grandmother. To be a selfless mother, the child must be dysfunctional. If the child is healthy, you will have to be an ordinary mother, you will not have to save and sacrifice. In the same way, to be a good son, it is necessary that the mother be helpless. The more helpless an old person is, the closer he is in his status and way of life to the dead: no activity - no life. The paradoxical logic of the savior: I am such a good son that I help my mother die.

Another frequently encountered myth is the myth of heroes. "We are a family of heroes." As a rule, stories about the heroic deeds of ancestors are stored in family history. There you meet old Bolsheviks, partisans, people who survived the famine, were subjected to repressions, raised children in difficult conditions, and so on. In other words, people who have overcome serious obstacles and achieved results.

The myth of heroes sets a certain standard of feeling and understanding of the world. Where there is a hero, everything is on a grand scale: there is no joy - there is happiness, there is no love - there is an unearthly passion, there is no life - there is fate, there is no sadness - there is a tragedy. That is why in the family of heroes people can quarrel for life, not talk to each other for years, attempt suicide. In the family of heroes, chronic untreated diseases often occur - the heroes do not go to the doctors, this is so understandable. There are many difficulties and problems in their life. Heroes always have a high standard of achievement, they are principled and irreconcilable people.

So, we see that all three parameters of the family system described above are closely interconnected. The family myth dictates the rules, and the rules, in turn, largely determine the features of the communication of the members of the system with each other.

Family boundaries are the fourth parameter for describing a family system. Every person living in a family has an idea of ​​who else is in his family. This representation sets the boundaries of the family. People living in the same family may have different ideas about its boundaries. For example, a man married a woman with an adult child; they live together. The man believes that his family consists of two people - himself and his wife. The wife believes that her family consists of three people - herself, her son and her husband. Mismatching ideas about family boundaries can be a source of serious disagreement.

Family boundaries can be very porous or more closed. The permeability of boundaries sets the style of life in the family. An open family is full of people, guests who come unannounced, relatives from other cities. No special treats are prepared for guests, children are strictly separated from adults, for example, they, as a rule, go to bed on their own, do their homework and generally live their own lives. This is understandable: adults are not up to them. With more closed family boundaries, guests come only by invitation, there is a special ritual for receiving guests, for example, refreshments, festive dishes, cleaning the day before. In such a family, children are usually less independent, adults are more included in their lives. As you can see, there is a certain pattern: the more closed the external boundaries of the family system, the more open the boundaries of the intra-family subsystems. The arrangement of the boundaries of family subsystems determines the coalitions that exist in the family.

The functional coalitions are the marital subsystem and the children's subsystem. The remaining variants of coalitions are, as a rule, dysfunctional. Dysfunctional coalitions that indicate the presence of problems in the family are, for example, the subsystem of mother and children, on the one hand, and father, on the other. Or a mother with one child against a father with another child. Or a wife with her parents in a coalition against her husband with her parents. There are many examples. Family coalitions indicate structure and hierarchy in the family, as well as a family problem. Coalitions are the central concept of the structural approach in systemic family therapy (Minukhin, Fishman, 1998). Example:

Mom asked about her ten-year-old son. The boy refused to go to school and stay at home alone. Mom had to leave work to sit with him. Moreover, after a while the boy moved to spend the night in the matrimonial bedroom of his parents. There has always been a mother-son coalition in the family. Dad was on the periphery of the family system, worked hard, sent his wife and son to rest abroad, but he didn’t go with them himself - there wasn’t enough money for three. Dad went grocery shopping after work and cooked at home on the weekends. His weight and position in the family were very insignificant. The little tyrant - his son - rightly judged that he would easily take his father's place next to his mother. The required impact in this case is changing family coalitions and giving the child a proper place. The position of the father must be strengthened, the coalition of mother and son destroyed. This is necessary because the boy will soon be faced with the task of overcoming an identity crisis, which is very difficult to do without going through separation from his family.

The fifth parameter of the family system is the stabilizer, that is, what holds the system together, what helps people stick together. Generally speaking, all of the above are stabilizers, especially the family myth. In a sense, a family is a group of people who share a common myth. A common myth or common myths is a condition necessary for the existence of a family, but not sufficient. In different periods of family life, there are different stabilizers. Common affairs: household, distribution of functions, common budget, common children, fear of loneliness - these are the usual stabilizers that are naturally present in every family. The external macro system is also a good stabilizer, especially in those societies where the value of marriage is universally recognized, where single women or single men are perceived as losers. There, the very fact of divorce is negative, and public opinion is the stabilizer of the family.

In the practice of working with the family, one has to deal with peculiar stabilizers. For example, often deviations in the behavior and development of the child become a powerful stabilizer of the family system. "We can't get a divorce because we have a difficult and/or sick child." I will offer a diagram of how the stabilizer works, using the example of nocturnal enuresis in a child.

A child appears in a dysfunctional family where spouses hardly get along together. It is known that a difficult marriage is always a difficult sex. In our culture, involuntary nighttime urination is considered normal until about two and a half to three years of age. It so happened that during the first two years of the child's life, the relationship of the spouses deteriorated; sexual relations became especially inharmonious. So, sexual relations were not easy, but otherwise the marriage was of value to the spouses. A difficult task arose - to maintain good relations, but to avoid intimacy. Worry about the child: how is he there, is he wet, has he opened up - a good reason to go to the crib and refer to your anxiety as the reason for not being ready for sex. You are not a bad lover or a bad mistress, but simply an anxious parental heart distracts. And then it’s time for the child, and by age, to start asking, but he doesn’t ask, and this is no coincidence.

Parents (or one of them) begin to drop the child at night, and also clearly react to a wet bed. For a child, such parental behavior is a positive feedback, a reinforcement of a wet bed, because for him any, even emotionally negative, attention to him is a significant signal. A wet bed for a child becomes the way to the heart of the parents. Time passes, the child grows. Now bedwetting qualifies as enuresis. In the family system, he occupies a worthy place.

I remember one family where an eleven-year-old boy suffered from enuresis. The family lived in a three-room apartment. There was a nursery with books, a desk and toys, a living room with a sofa and TV, and a bedroom with a double bed and a dressing table. Mom and son slept in the bedroom. Dad slept on the sofa in the living room. Mom explained that it is easier for her to drop a child at night if he sleeps at her side. The spouses did not maintain intimate relations for more than seven years. Enuresis of the son began to be used by them as a worthy way, without conflicts and painful showdown, to avoid sexual intimacy with each other and at the same time not to destroy the family.

Considering all the above parameters of the family system, we involuntarily implied a certain history of the formation of the family. In other words, for successful work with the family, it is necessary to know not only the current situation, which is described by the previous parameters, but also how the family reached this position. The family background is made up of the past life experiences of family members, from what they experienced in their parental family and in past marriages or in extramarital relationships. From the past, a person brings into his family, firstly, the rules and myths of his parental family in an unchanged form or in a negative image; secondly, the expectations and needs that have been formed under the influence of past experience. The rules and myths of the parental family are present in the form of habits and rituals, in the form of a feeling of comfort that arises when the habitual lifestyle is carried out, of course, in those cases when a person felt good in the parental family and wants to repeat the pleasant experience. However, it is not even necessary that it be good, since a lot happens without awareness. For example, sleep mode. The habit of going to bed sooner or later depends on the mode of life in the parental family. If the partner had a different regime, then there may be problems. In any case, this issue will have to be resolved, to find a compromise or one partner to change his usual regimen. The same applies to eating habits or habitual ways to sort things out: in one family they shout during disagreements, in another they stop talking, and so on. The more complex the patterns of behavior, the more difficult it is to negotiate. For example, a sexually attractive appearance and behavior, signs of love and attention, ways to express guilt and regret are complex and poorly understood behavioral sequences that are very difficult to change.

In addition to habits and patterns, a person brings expectations and a lot of unfulfilled needs to the marriage union. Strictly speaking, a successful marriage is a marriage in which needs and fantasies can be realized. If essential needs cannot be met in a marriage, then it usually goes through a serious crisis or falls apart. Love is the most selfish feeling. Already at the stage of choosing a partner, the probability of satisfying psychological needs in relations with this person is calculated. The catch is that needs change. There is a natural change of needs, if some needs are satisfied, then they are replaced by others. For example, if it is important for a person to be a rescuer and benefactor, if it is by saving that he feels his importance and increases his self-esteem, then he falls in love with such a person, in relations with whom these needs can be realized.

One of my clients fell in love every time with unfortunate, suffering men, and those who suffered in childhood: one was left by his mother, the other's mother died when he was little. She tried to be a good mother to them - care and pity "launched" her sexual behavior. Men also saw her mother in her and at the beginning of the relationship enjoyed her pity with pleasure. However, over time, they satisfied their need to have a good mother and were already ready to see in her either an equal partner, or even a daughter; she still saw them as children. The mismatch of these important psychological needs destroyed the relationship of the spouses. This situation, down to the smallest detail, was repeated twice in the life of my client. Where did this need come from? In this case, it arose because of her peculiar relationship with her mother and, in general, from the mother's intra-family status in the client's parental family. There, the mother was the emotional center of the family, she was always right, she made decisions, she was a benefactor both for domestic and for strangers. At the same time, the family knew that children should know their place, not get in the way, if they grow up, they will understand. My client learned that adulthood begins with motherhood, at least for a woman. Becoming a mother, a woman to a large extent acquires the meaning of her life, as well as many rights and opportunities. The relationship with his mother was not easy in the future. By the time she got married for the first time, she was a girl with an acute need to assert herself. How to do it was known. It was not possible to give birth right away, but it was easier to find a “son” as a husband, which happened.

Often their own family life is arranged in order to solve the unresolved problems of the family of their childhood. The partner for this is sniping. The prince from Cinderella, apparently an often humiliated young man, was very eager to prove to his parents that he was already an adult. Realizing his low value in the market of grooms (due to his low self-esteem), he chooses a simple girl as his bride, without any risk of being rejected, and marries, thereby receiving a ticket to a real adult life. Cinderella marries him primarily in order to leave her stepmother's family. Guessing the opportunity to realize the cherished needs in these relationships and causes young people to love each other. Unfortunately, they try to fulfill these needs simply through the act of marriage, which in no way guarantees the longevity of the union.

Often in marriage a person tries to fulfill what is required for his normal mental development, but which, however, was not realized in the parental family. In every family, a necessary stage is the separation of children from their parents. Every child must go through a process of separation in order to become an adult, independent, responsible, in order to be able to create his own family. It is known that the passage of the stage of separation is one of the most difficult tasks of family development. Often, not being able to find another stabilizer like the children, the family does not allow the children or the child to separate. However, for normal mental development, the child needs to go through the process of separation. If this fails with mother and father, then it must be done with husband or wife. In these cases, the marriage is entered into for divorce.

We all receive in childhood certain prescriptions and recipes on how to live. This is called education. In order to understand the laws of life of the family system, it is necessary to know the prescriptions that people received “on the track” in their parental families.

Family history can be easily and efficiently traced using the genogram technique (McGoldrick and Gerson, 1985). This technique allows us to trace the stereotypes of the interaction of all branches of the family in three generations, to calculate the scenarios and pitfalls of family life. The psychotherapist asks the family about relatives and builds a family tree of the family in three generations. Then it is necessary to find out the features of the relationship of family members with each other, family traditions, stories that are passed down from generation to generation. The psychotherapist asks about the characters of people, the history of their acquaintance, the history of the birth of children, moving and other changes in destinies. From all this, a family history is formed, which the psychotherapist then interprets to the family, shows the connection of the problem with which the family addressed, with the past of this family. I'll give you an example.

A family came in with a three year old boy. He suffered from fears, did not like to walk, was afraid of the dark, did not sleep alone in the room. The parents were teachers, that is, they had a fairly free regime, so they kept the boy at home, did not send him to children's institutions, sat with him themselves in turn. They appealed about the fears of their son. During the conversation, it turned out that their marital relations are also not in the best shape now. Trust and mutual understanding disappeared, they were always dissatisfied with each other, instead of talking, claims and reproaches were expressed. Of course, the child was an indispensable witness to these quarrels. Before the birth of the child, the couple lived together for thirteen years and were satisfied with their marriage.

It is noteworthy how much effort the family spends to constantly be in parental roles. She, Nina, grew up in an incomplete family. Her grandparents divorced before the war when they had four children: two boys and the last two twin girls. The older children died of illness before the divorce. Then one girl from the couple dies, and the grandmother is left with her only daughter. Father dies at the front. The daughter grew up and fell in love with a married man. From this novel, the girl Nina was born. The marriage did not work out, but the daughter remained. When analyzing her genogram, Nina said that it now seems to her that her mother gave birth to her for her grandmother in order to alleviate the pain of losing children. Perhaps my mother herself wanted to recreate her sister. One way or another, the grandmother took care of the girl and the house, she was a functional mother to her granddaughter, and her mother worked. In her family, Nina received a prescription: "You can not be married, but you must have a child." In addition, she grew up in a situation of confusion and substitution of family roles. She herself replaced her daughter with her grandmother and her sister with her mother. She did not have a model of married life and did not know how to be a wife, because she did not see how this is done in her family.

He, Petya, on the contrary, grew up in a complete, traditional, patriarchal family in an old Russian town. He is the youngest child, he also has an older sister. Dad earned money, repaired everything and carried heavy things. Mom washed, cleaned and cooked, and besides, she grumbled at her husband. The family lived without grandparents, Petya was quite spoiled. He had clear patterns of maternal and paternal behavior, well learned what it means to be a husband and what a wife should do. Petya grew up and entered the university in Moscow. By this time, Nina had already studied at the university for three years, but at a different faculty. Petya missed his family and felt rather lonely in the hostel. They met by chance, the age difference of four years did not bother them, and after a short romance they got married. For thirteen years, the couple lived in marriage, did not have children, but pursued their careers. During this time, they defended their Ph.D. dissertations, received a Moscow residence permit and exchanged their room in a communal apartment for a small two-room apartment. They were pleased with each other. What needs did they satisfy in this marriage?

Nina got married and got a son instead of her husband. She thus fulfilled her order. She is older and more determined, she arranged Petya's career and hers at the same time, she made decisions, and, according to Petya, "was the spiritual leader in the family." Petya asserted himself in this marriage. In his parental family, he was the youngest, on the one hand, beloved, and on the other, he had to obey everyone who was older, including his sister. His character is domineering and selfish. In relation to his parents, he remained a respectful son, but he was picky and demanding of his wife.

So, the roles in this family were distributed not by chance, but successfully. Problems began when the long-awaited child was born. Nina became a mother to her biological son and ceased to be a mother to her husband Petya. At the same time, Petya became a father to his son and was ready to finally become a husband to his wife, but she was not ready for this, she did not have a wife's behavior model. When they took care of their son, carried out parental functions, the relationship remained conflict-free. As soon as the spouses were left alone, there was a feeling of emptiness and meaninglessness, mutual claims and reproaches began.

Methodological principles of systemic family psychotherapy

The best known and widely used heuristics are circularity, neutrality, and hypotheticality (Palazzoli et al., 1980).

· Circularity. This principle says: everything that happens in the family is subject not to linear, but to circular logic. Let us consider the process of transition from consideration of a case in linear logic to consideration of a case in circular logic.

A mother comes with a complaint that her nine-year-old son is not doing well at school. In linear logic, the cause of childhood disorders is seen in the child. The child does not study well, because he has developmental disorders of higher mental functions, and he simply cannot cope with school requirements due to impaired memory, attention, thinking, etc. Or the child does not study well because he has a school neurosis. Perhaps both.

Psychological diagnostics allows you to test both linear hypotheses. Note that linear logic is driven by the question "why" and assumes the answer is "because". In very many cases, we see that the failure is not related or not entirely explained by the above-named possible causes. Let's take the first step towards circular causality. After questioning those who applied, we find out that the mother does homework with the child all the time. Consequently, the child has not developed independent work skills that he could use when working in the classroom. A rare mother does not understand this, but nevertheless spends hours doing homework with her child. At this stage, the question "why" is meaningless. The smarter question to ask yourself is, “Why?” Why does a mother make her child helpless in class? Why does she have to spend so much time studying? Then, that at this time she feels needed and necessary. Why does mom need to feel this? Because mom and dad do not have a very good relationship, mom often feels unnecessary to her husband, she has an emotional vacuum, she fills it in communication with her son. If everything is in order with the son, the intensity of the scandals between mom and dad will increase simply due to the fact that mom will have more time to think about the problems of her family. Scandals are a threat to family stability. Nobody wants them.

So the circle is closed. The worse the boy studies at school, the more time mom and son spend together at home, the less mom and dad sort things out, the more stable the family. It is clear that only a psychologist sees this circular dependence at the beginning of therapy. Gradually, with the help of a specially developed circular interview method, everyone begins to see this dependence. As soon as this has happened, changes become possible in the family, the family becomes available for psychotherapeutic influence. If the psychologist remains in a linear logic, then either he can improve the child's schooling for a short time, or the child will develop another behavioral disorder that will stabilize the family system instead of failing. In the worst case, the success of the child will lead to the breakup of the family. These processes have been described many times and in detail by such authors as Jay Haley and Clu Madanes (Haley, 1980, Madaness, 1984).

In my experience of many years of teaching systemic family therapy, the most difficult thing is to teach how to use circular logic, to see the circular causality of events, to note the circular interactions of family members with each other. As soon as circular logic appears in the psychotherapist's head, the choice of how to influence the family system becomes a simple technical task.

· Neutrality. The principle of neutrality states that effective psychotherapy requires the therapist to maintain a neutral position. He sympathizes equally with all family members, does not internally join anyone and provides all family members with equal opportunities to speak and be heard and understood.

This principle is not easy to follow. The most common variant of its violation is that female psychotherapists fall into the position of a supermother. In a dysfunctional family, everyone suffers, but the suffering of children is seen vividly, especially in our child-centered culture. It seems that negligent parents unfairly offend children. The psychotherapist takes a position of protection of the little and defenseless, thereby informing the parents or mother of these children: "I would be a better mother to these children than you." This message is very easy to read and the mother is naturally defensive and resistant. This resistance, provoked by the therapist's behavior, often nullifies all his efforts. The family interrupts therapy.

Hypothetical. The main purpose of the therapist's communication with the family is to test the hypothesis about the purpose and meaning of family dysfunction. As noted above, the main questions that a family therapist asks himself are: why does what happens in the family happen? How is the observed dysfunction used by the system?

The primary hypothesis of the therapist determines his strategy for talking with the family. In cases where the therapist has not formulated a primary hypothesis, his conversation with the family is chaotic; often the most motivated member of the family takes the lead in the conversation. We should not forget that it is not easy to have a conversation with the whole family at the same time. A conversation in individual therapy (dialogue) is not analogous to a conversation with the whole family (polylogue). It is also not a model to work with a group, because when working with a family, we cannot rely on the usual group dynamics. The only way to build effective communication with such a formal group of different ages, which is the family, is to rely on a certain meta-goal provided by the primary hypothesis.

The practice of psychological assistance to the family

Reception design. Organization of the work of a family psychotherapist

Systemic family psychotherapy is carried out immediately with the whole family. All family members living together are invited to the reception, regardless of age: both the elderly and infants. This is especially important at the beginning of work, as it makes it possible to directly see the non-verbal aspects of people's relationships, family coalitions, communication stereotypes, family rules.

The family came to the reception: grandmother (on the maternal side), mother, father and a child of three months. Complaints were about the frequent conflicts of young spouses. In the office, the family settled down as follows: grandmother and mother are nearby, the grandmother is holding the baby in her arms, the father is sitting at some distance from this group. When the child began to whimper, the father would say to his wife in a stern voice: "Look what's wrong with him." The wife made some movement towards the child, the grandmother said calmly and measuredly into space: “It's okay, everything is fine with us.” It is clear that the hypothesis of possible disruptions in the functioning of this family system is born very quickly: the grandmother is the functional mother of the baby. His biological mother is a functional sister, separation between mother and daughter did not occur, in the family there is a struggle for power and influence between husband and grandmother. Structurally, the family is divided as follows: coalition grandmother-mother-child and sometimes a coalition mother, father. Mom is between two fires, she is put in a situation of choice between her husband and her mother.

It is very important to give the family the opportunity to choose the location in space. Therefore, in the office of a family therapist, there should always be more chairs and armchairs than family members. Mutual location is a fast and reliable way to diagnose the family structure (Minukhin, Fishman, 1998).

A preliminary agreement on the arrival of the family should be made by the psychotherapist himself or a member of his team. The content of the preliminary conversation allows us to formulate a systematic hypothesis even before the start of direct work with the family.

Questions to ask during a telephone conversation: 1) what is the caller complaining about (in short, only the main one - a marital problem or a parent-child problem)? 2) who is the initiator of the appeal? 3) what is the composition of the family? 4) how old are the children and other family members?

An analysis of the answers to these questions allows us to make a preliminary systemic hypothesis. At a face-to-face meeting with the family, the psychotherapist tests the correctness of this preliminary hypothesis.

The methodological principles of systemic family psychotherapy deny simple, direct communication between the psychotherapist and the family. One of the goals of psychotherapeutic communication is to test the systemic hypothesis. It must be said that all the methodological principles of this approach are designed to protect the psychotherapist from the influence of the family system of clients on him. Each open family system seeks to absorb, “suck into itself” every element that is in its “orbit”. It is clear that only open family systems are accepted. Consequently, the client's family system tends to absorb the therapist. Eventally, this is manifested in the fact that the family seeks to extend its rules to communication with the therapist, form coalitions with him, gain recognition of his myth, and so on. That is, there is a process called family transfer. If a therapist falls under this influence, and it is practically impossible for a novice family therapist not to fall under it consciously, since usually people are not aware of systemic influences, then he begins to freely project his problems, his experience of family life onto the family and immediately loses effectiveness. The methodological principles of the systems approach provide protection for the therapist from the influence of the family system.

One psychotherapist can work with a family, but a psychotherapeutic team can also work, that is, a person who directly talks to the family and two or three supervisors who observe the process, being behind the Gesell mirror. In the classic Milanese model, a team works with the family, supervisors can at any time intervene in the conversation with the family, give instructions to the interviewer, what to ask him, whom, how to position himself in space, depending on the characteristics of the emerging contact with different family members. Problems of teamwork are the most popular topic of all recent international conferences on family psychotherapy.

family work techniques

Circular interview. This is a basic and widely used technique (see Tomm, 1981; Hennig, 1990).

The therapist asks family members in turn questions that are specifically worded or the same question. In order for this technique to “work” not only for the therapist, that is, to be not only a diagnostic tool, but also an instrument of psychological, psychotherapeutic influence, you need to master it masterfully. Typically, learning to do this requires at least one hundred hours of practice under the supervision of a supervisor.

A mother turned to me with a complaint that her eleven-year-old son did not go home after school, but spent time somewhere, mainly on the Arbat, sometimes he did not even come to spend the night. The family consists of three people - mother, father and son.

I omit the beginning of the conversation and give an example of actually circular questions.

Psychologist (question to son): Who usually meets you at home when you do return?

Son: Usually mom.

Psychologist: How does your mother meet you, what does she do?

Son: She gets angry, yells at me, sometimes cries.

Psychologist (question to mom): Your son returned late, you are angry and crying. What is your husband doing at this time?

Mom: He calms me down and scolds my son.

Psychologist (question to dad): What does the son do when you scold him?

Dad: He slams the door of his room, leaves, offended.

Psychologist (question to son): When you are sitting in your room, what do your parents do?

Son: They sit in the kitchen, talk, drink tea. Dad comforts mom.

Psychologist (to his son): Before, before you started disappearing from home, in what cases did your parents sit in the kitchen together, drink tea, talk?

Son: Yes, I don’t know something ... Dad is not at home much. I do not remember.

The last question is asked to both mom and dad. From the answers it becomes clear that such conversations in the kitchen were extremely rare. The couple often quarreled.

This simple example shows how the function of a child's behavioral disorder can be understood with the help of circular questions. The departure of a son unites the parents and stabilizes the system. Children often sacrifice themselves for family stability. Note that the above circular questions did not go beyond behavioral responses. The psychologist did not ask about thoughts or feelings. If this layer of psychic reality is also involved in circular questions, they become even more complex.

The young couple approached with complaints of frequent quarrels. Quarrels arose on various occasions, but most often due to the fact that the wife was late at work for a long time, she came home late.

Psychologist (to husband): How do you explain to yourself why your wife stays late at work?

Husband: She just doesn't want to go home, she doesn't want to see me.

Psychologist (to husband): When this thought comes to your mind, how do you feel?

Husband: Well, that's embarrassing...

Psychologist: Are you lonely, offended, are you angry?

Husband: Here, here.

Psychologist: When you are angry and offended, how do you usually behave?

Husband: I don’t do anything, I don’t scandal, I just keep quiet and that’s it.

Wife: Here, here, for weeks.

Psychologist (to his wife): When your husband does not talk to you, how do you explain this to yourself?

Wife: That he does not want to communicate with me.

Psychologist: How do you feel then?

Wife: Offended. Undeserved, unfair. Then I don’t like making excuses, I don’t do anything wrong. Yes, resentment and some kind of hopelessness.

Psychologist: When you feel all this, what do you do?

Wife: I'm at work. What to do at home?

As you can see, the circle is closed. Each of the spouses, by their behavior, positively reinforces the behavior of their partner, which he does not like. Questions about thoughts and feelings help spouses understand the mechanism for the formation of this “snowball”.

It will be useful for a novice systemic family therapist to memorize a list of topics that need to be addressed in a conversation with a family using circular questions:

What are the expectations of the family? Questions are asked about who referred them for a consultation, to whom they turned before.

How does the family see their current problem? (For example, the child does not cope with school requirements.)

What is the current situation in the family?

· How did the family cope with difficulties and problems in the past? What were the solutions?

· How does the family interact about the current problem? It is necessary to clarify the circles of interaction at the level of behavior, at the level of thoughts and feelings.

· What is the system of understanding the problem and the causes of its occurrence in the family?

· What are the key, trigger situations? (For example, there will definitely be a scandal of everyone with everyone if a child gets a deuce.)

How can the situation develop in the worst way? How can the problem be aggravated?

· What are the positive aspects of the problem? (See the example of the boy who left home.)

· Questions about the psychological resources of each.

· Questions about how everyone imagines the future with and without the problem.

What would family life be like without a problem, without a symptom?

Of course, this whole range of topics cannot be covered in one session. Usually it can be completed in two or three meetings. After that, the system hypothesis becomes reliable. The specific wording of questions in a circular form is determined by the individual skill and creativity of the psychotherapist, his ability to build contact with the family.

Positive connotation technique (positive reformulation). This is a technique for giving feedback to the family after the therapist has established his circular hypothesis for the current moment of working with a family problem. The therapist (or team) tells the family about how he perceived and understood the content of family dysfunction. The story is built according to certain rules (Palazzoli et al., 1978; Madanes, 1984; Hayley, 1998).

1. It is recommended to remove the family's anxiety about what is happening. The method of normalization is suitable for this: the content of family dysfunction is considered in a broader sociocultural, age, and statistical aspect. In the case of dysfunction associated with a particular stage of the family life cycle, it is helpful to inform clients of the pattern and prevalence. This message relieves family members of the guilt and “charm” of being unique. If the dysfunction is related to migrations, it is good to refer to the phenomena of culture shock. Normalization in a systems approach performs the same function as reporting a diagnosis in medicine, it gives people the certainty and hope associated with the fact that professionals have already dealt with similar problems and know how to approach them.

2. Focus on the positive side of dysfunction. Any dysfunction that exists in the family has a positive side. Above, the mechanisms for stabilizing the family system with the help of violations of children's behavior were described. In this sense, any family dysfunction "works" as a stabilizer. It is possible to positively reformulate not only the current symptom, but also any past events. The teenager is raised by his aunt's family because his drug-addicted mother gave him away at an early age to her sister. He is offended by his mother, believes that she abandoned him. A positive reformulation of this episode: “Your mother understood that she herself could not raise you well, keep you healthy, provide you with housing, because she suffers from drug addiction. She herself gave you into good hands, did not tear you away from your family. She did the best she could for you. She loved you and loves you now.”

3. Inclusion in the feedback text of contradiction, paradox. This is necessary so that the paradox of the psychotherapist can neutralize the paradox of the real family situation. Previously, typical paradoxes were cited that are easily revealed by circular logic: the mother wants the child to study well, and does everything to deprive him of the skills of independent work. Spouses want to improve their marriage and do everything not to fall into marital roles, to remain only parents, not to get closer. The counter-paradox in the latter case would be: “You value your marriage and relationships with each other so much that you try not to communicate so as not to inadvertently spoil what is.”

Let us turn to the case where the child does not study well, the mother spends all her free time preparing lessons with him, the father is rarely at home. The feedback scheme is: “You are all behaving normally for your abnormal circumstances. Mom and dad often quarrel. In order not to quarrel once again, they try not to communicate, dad practically deprived himself of the opportunity to have his own house. A devoted son does not allow himself to study well, despite the fact that he has all the data for a normal study, so that his mother is constantly busy with his problems and does not have free time to think about his relationship with his father. Mom does not have any personal time, she spends all her energy on her son, she has almost turned into a home teacher, she has forgotten how to be just a mother and wife in order to keep peace in the house. Your love and care for each other makes a huge impression.”

Any symptom in the family system can be positively reformulated, because it ensures the homeostasis of the system and in this sense has a positive meaning for the family.

Prescription. The last technique to be described here is the prescribing of certain behaviors to family members. The therapist asks family members to perform certain tasks, mostly specific actions. Prescriptions can be direct or paradoxical (Madanes, 1981, 1984; Palazzoli et al., 1978).

Often paradoxical prescriptions are almost impossible to fulfill. In these cases, the purpose of the prescription is to give the family an opportunity to think and discuss with the psychotherapist at the appointment why this prescription is not feasible for this family.

A family in which family roles are confused and the boundaries of subsystems are violated is recommended to live for a week like this: no one has his own bed; every evening the children go to bed where they want, and the parents where they can find a place for themselves. This prescription absurdizes the chaotic, unstructured habits of this family and provokes protest from family members. At the next meeting, people's feelings are discussed and more constructive options for arranging life, distributing responsibility, etc. are proposed.

Direct orders, as a rule, do not cause protest, they are at first glance simple to implement. For example, in a family in which there has not been a distribution of roles and functions, in which the main theme is the struggle for power and control, it is effective to suggest prescribing actions in time: on Monday, Wednesday and Friday everything is decided by the husband, the wife and children obey, on Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday everything is decided by the wife, on Sunday it is proposed to argue and swear as usual. The experience of applying the new ritual and the discussion of this experience provide a therapeutic effect.

Scheme of the initial reception

1. Talk on the phone and build a primary circular hypothesis.

2. Conducting a face-to-face circular interview. Testing the primary hypothesis. Proposing the next hypothesis if the primary hypothesis is not confirmed.

3a. If a therapy team is working with the family, the results of interviews with the team are discussed and strategies and tactics of influence are developed. If the therapist works alone, then he immediately proceeds to the next stage. The psychotherapist develops the strategy and tactics of influence himself and immediately.

3b. The therapist gives the family feedback on how he understood the family problem. (Positive connotation technique.)

4. Suggestion of a course of family psychotherapy. Discuss with the family the frequency and duration of their future visits. Discussing payment for therapy. In fact, this is the conclusion of a psychotherapeutic contract, as a result of which both clients and the psychotherapist (psychotherapeutic team) have a clear idea of ​​​​the goal of psychotherapy, how responsibility is distributed, what the result of therapy can be.

An example of a psychotherapeutic contract.

Dad turned with a complaint that his twelve-year-old daughter behaves like a boy and wants to be a boy, asks to call her a man's name at home and at school. Request: "Help make a girl stay a girl." During the initial visit, it became clear that the girl's desire to become a boy was only one of many violations of her behavior. The girl's tidiness skills were violated, she had poor contact with her parents, teachers, and children. In early childhood, there was no embracing, it was always uncomfortable to hold her in her arms - she did not press, she seemed detached. The whole family showed signs of disturbed intra-family communication: there was practically no family pastime, everyone existed on his own, not together, but side by side. Family communications are riddled with double traps. It was a classic so-called “schizophrenogenic family” described by many authors (see Palazzoli et al., 1980). During the conclusion of a psychotherapeutic contract, the psychologist drew the attention of the family to the above circumstances: “I do not undertake to make Katya stop wanting to be Kolya. It seems to me that this is one small fragment of the overall picture of the features of your family communication. I could work with you on the style of your family interaction. If all the warm feelings that you have for each other, all the tensions and resentments were easily and safely expressed, it would be easier for you all to understand each other. When your contact improves, Katya may see the benefits of a female role. It will be easier for her to find a common language at school. Against this background, it will be more effective to work with specific Katya's difficulties, if they remain. I believe that in order to solve this problem, we will need at least four months of work to start.”

Thus, the request “Help our child” was reformulated as help for the whole family. When the parents and Katya agreed to follow the proposed path, they discussed the frequency of visits, the time and day of arrival, and the amount of payment.

5. Prescription. This is the last stage of the initial reception, when the family is offered a direct or paradoxical prescription of a behavioral ritual, which they must perform during the time until the next psychotherapeutic session. Quite often, the order is given to the family in writing to eliminate the effect of a “broken phone”.

At subsequent meetings, using the above-described techniques of working with the family, the events that have passed between meetings, the peculiarities of fulfilling prescriptions, past circumstances, childhood memories of adult family members, rules, myths, family history, communication stereotypes, and much more are discussed.

When and how to end work with the family

This is one of the most difficult questions of any psychotherapeutic approach, not just systemic family therapy. In general, the answer is this: the family system must become functional. This means that the family becomes capable of solving life's problems. For example, a family consisting of three generations of single female alcoholics became functional when the women stopped drinking, began to regularly attend the classes of the group of anonymous alcoholics, the youngest - a student - was restored at the university, the older women began to work. The disappearance of a symptom, the emergence of an inner feeling of satisfaction, the joy of life are not necessary signs of a therapeutic effect in this approach. A necessary and sufficient sign is external behavioral changes.

The family, complaining of the father's depression, became functional after the father, despite his condition, returned to work, the wife, who had recently taken care of only her husband, began to devote time to her daughter. Complaints about depression remained, but depression was no longer used by the system. Depression became a personal affair of the father, and not a sign of a common misfortune; the dynamics of his condition was no longer directly determined by family circumstances, the behavior of his wife and daughter. Against this background, drug treatment gave a quick effect, and within two years the depression did not return, although earlier, despite massive treatment, the family found out that autumn or spring had come, according to the father's condition.

Literature:

• Minukhin S., Fishman Ch. (1998) Techniques of family therapy. - M.: Independent firm "Class".
• Papp P. (1998) Family therapy and its paradoxes. - M.: Independent firm "Class".
• Hayley J. (1998) Trial Therapy. - M.: Independent firm "Class".
• Chernikov A. V. (1997) Integrative model of systemic family psychotherapeutic diagnostics. Thematic supplement to the journal "Family Psychology and Family Therapy". - M.
• Sherman R. Fredman N. (1997) Structured Techniques in Family and Marriage Therapy. - M.: Independent firm "Class".
• Bateson G. et al. (1969) Toward the communicative theory of Schizophrenia // A. H. Buss, E. H. Buss (Eds.). Theories of Schizophrenia. - N.Y.
• Carter E., McGoldrick M. (1980) The Family Life Cycle. - N.Y.: Gardner Press.
• Erickson G. D., Hogan, T. P. (Eds.) (1972) Family Therapy. Introduction to Theory and Technique. California: Brooks/Cole Publishing Company.
• Haley J. (1980) Leaving Home. - N.Y.: McGrow Hill.
• Hennig K. (1990) Das Systemische Interview mit Einzelnen und Familien als Diagnostisches Instrument. - Oberschulamt, Tübingen.
• Horne A., Ohlsen M. M. (Eds.) (1982) Family counseling and therapy. handbook. - Illinois: F. C. Peacock Publishers.
• Madanes C. (1981) Strategic Family Therapy. - San Francisco: Jossey-Bass.
• Madanes C. (1984) Behind the one way mirror. - San Francisco: Jossey-Bass.
• McGoldrick M., Gerson, R. (1985) Genograms in Family Assessment. - N.Y.: W.W. Norton & Company.
• Palazzoli S. et al. (1980) Hypothesising - Circularity - Neutrality: three guidelines for the conductor of the session // Family Process. 19(1), 3–12.
• Palazzoli S. M., Boscolo L., Cecchin G., Pratta G. (1978) Paradox and counterparadox. - N.Y.: Jason Aranson.
• Spiegel J. P., Bell N. W. (1959) The family of the psychiatric patient // S. Apieti (ed.) American Handbook of Psychiatry. - N.Y.: Basic Books.
• Tomm K. (1981) Circularity: A Preferred Orientations for Family Assessment.// A. Gurman (ed.). Questions and Answers in the practice of Family Therapy. - N.Y.