How to learn self respect. What should be avoided? Take care of your emotional needs

1. Do what you love.

Everyone has a favorite pastime or business. When you allow yourself to do exactly what you like, you will immediately feel more confident because you are doing what you are good at.

2. Help someone else.

Nothing boosts self-respect like simple, unselfish help to another person. You can argue with me and say that this very thought speaks of narcissism and nothing more. Forget this nonsense, just do good deeds for others. And it doesn't have to be something big. Even a small amount will help both you and the other person. And most of the time it won't cost you a dime.

3. Find your strengths.

There is no such person who would not have a strong side. We are all strong at something. Find it in yourself, think, sit and remember what you do best. What is your strength. Develop your abilities train, practice.

4. Don't put up with disrespect.

There is no reason for people to be rude to you. Even if their rudeness comes from "great love." Let everyone know that they should treat you with respect. And make sure they know it. Well, if this simple thought has not reached someone, just leave him out of your life.

5. Forget about your depressed friends.

Hang out with people who are positive and can support you. Perhaps it's funny to constantly discuss work, substitute your vest for other people's tears, gossip. But over time, communicating with such people you become just as boring and not interesting. And notice such people, as a rule, are always not happy.

6. Move forward.

Reading a bunch of books about how to change yourself and your life will not help here. Waste of time. The only one who can change you is you and only you. Even reading this post will not change you until you feel that you need it and that it is close to you. You need to understand everything on an emotional level. If not, then maybe it's not your time yet. In any case, read the biographies of people you respect. The stories of those who have achieved success in life, made it the way they wanted, learn from them, from these masters.

7. Learn to accept compliments.

Usually they are treated with distrust. Settle down. Don't be funny. It is foolish to consider all the compliments said to you only as a toady. If a person has a good opinion of you. Calm down and accept it. If people think well of you, maybe you should think the same of yourself.

8. Add positive to everything.

You just ate a big cake. And that's with your diet. But the cake was coffee, and caffeine burns calories. Well, maybe the example is not the most successful, but I'm sure you get the point.

9. Compare yourself only with yourself.

Stop comparing yourself to other people. If you look at yourself and notice that today you are better in some way than you were yesterday, then you are on the right track. What is the use of comparing yourself, your achievements and your life, let's say with the achievements of Maria Sharapova? In this case, you will always feel terrible.

10. Don't feel bad about yourself.

You should not consider yourself and your life in dark colors. If you do this consistently, you will never increase your self-respect or move forward. Better think about how to increase self-respect for yourself? And here there is only one way, find something interesting in yourself, your “mojo”, your strong side, and this is what will bring you to the “white light”.

Self-esteem and self-love determine our spiritual comfort. Denying his own personality, a person cannot believe in himself and underestimates the level of claims. Analyze how well you feel about yourself.

Self-respect, commonly called self-esteem, and self-esteem are the core of personality. Our motivations, life goals and aspirations depend on the level of self-esteem.

To understand how well you feel about yourself, answer the question: "Do you accept yourself as you are?". Or have you created an unattainable image, you understand that you are far from it, but you don’t even try to get closer to your ideal one?

While the superego energetically makes morning runs, eats balanced meals, reads smart books, never gets out of balance and does not know defeat in disputes, the ego mostly reclines on the couch and watches TV after returning from a hateful job. There is no need to talk about self-respect in this situation. Another thing is if a person behaves as his ideal image could act, or at least takes real steps in the right direction.

The conflict between ideal image and reality will interfere with self-respect until you begin to overcome natural laziness and engage in self-improvement. True, there is an easier way - give up the ideal image, lower the bar. The place of your ideal image will be taken by a lazy person and a weakling, and you will merge in a harmonious union. It is unlikely that you will be proud of yourself, but perhaps this will stop bothering you. I hope no one has the desire to relax and grunt?

How to cultivate self-esteem

So, self-esteem grows as we gradually move closer to our self-created ideal, and decreases as we move away from it. Let's take a look at the ideal look. Do you know him well? How do you match it? I propose to create your ideal portrait: what would we like to be if the circumstances were favorable?

We take a blank sheet and write down in a column the qualities that our ideal ego should have. We look through the list and note the qualities that we already possess. Lots of matches? The more of them, the higher the level of self-esteem should be. In other words, the closer the ideal, the more reason to respect yourself. By the way, the absolute coincidence of the ideal and the real testifies to excessive self-confidence or low self-esteem.

The real and the ideal Self cannot coincide with an adequate assessment of oneself, because then the conflict will disappear - the driving force that makes us move forward and improve. And without development, degradation begins - this is inevitable. The surmountable discrepancy between the ideal and the real I makes you grow and respect yourself. But what to do if the discrepancies are huge, and there is no strength to change anything?

Deal with self-esteem

Psychologists say that you first need to understand how a false image has developed, since self-esteem with such an imbalance is clearly inadequate.

For example, Peter dreams of earning 20,000 rubles a month without control from his boss. Fedor makes plans for an oceanfront bungalow and spiritual practices in Tibet. If in the first case there is low self-esteem, then in the second - ambitious goals and needs of a completely different plan. Of course, these people have very different ideas about themselves, apparently, the ways to achieve the goal will also be different.

The plans of a self-respecting person are quite feasible, although their implementation requires effort. But with distorted self-esteem, low or high, self-esteem, for the most part, is a farce. Equally far from true self-respect is a person with an incomplete secondary education, who imagines himself a president, and a certified philologist working as a loader.

We recognize a person with a sense of dignity by their unchanging poise, goodwill and openness. A truly self-respecting person does not need to constantly put up cordons around his person, such a person is always ready for dialogue, easy to communicate with. Another characteristic feature is a respectful attitude towards people, regardless of their age and status.

Unconditional self respect

The second component of self-esteem is the basic attitude "I feel good (bad) about myself." This belief does not depend on the opinions of others or on our real merits, it originates in the earliest childhood, when only the assessment of parents matters. If this component prevails, the person treats himself with respect.

When you combine basic self-love with the feeling that you are getting closer to your ideal image, self-esteem is confirmed by self-esteem. This is the happy occasion when a person becomes balanced, effective and quite satisfied with the overall assessment of his life.

Distortions occur if, with real achievements, there is no emotional approval of oneself or, conversely, self-love is not supported by grounds for self-esteem. There are feelings of underestimation and resentment for life.

The embodiment of self-esteem is a lion in its natural habitat. Are there many who want to check how strong he is? So people feel how much self-respect is developed in us. Few people think of an unsuccessful or vulgar joke with a person with developed self-esteem, or to manipulate him. Attempts, of course, are possible, but they are suppressed clearly and unambiguously. Individuals suffering from low self-esteem periodically find themselves in situations where others abuse their kindness, humiliate and interfere in personal areas. Lack of self-respect becomes a provocation for individuals prone to rudeness, which leads to a deepening of the belief: "I am unworthy."

How to learn to respect yourself

We cannot change others, so we have to change ourselves. Learn to be proud of yourself and give yourself reasons to do so. One day you will notice how the inner position will manifest itself in posture, gaze and facial expression. Rest assured, those around you will appreciate the change, and you will love the change.

Only you can assess the state of your self-esteem and understand how much work lies ahead. We can give some general advice to get you started.

Don't deny yourself

Accept yourself as you are. This is how parents love their children - of course, regardless of their appearance and character flaws. There are no perfect people, but there are people who are self-confident.

Develop

If you love yourself, try to improve yourself: read a lot, broaden your horizons, work on yourself.

Learn to love yourself

We are not talking about selfishness, which is based solely on satisfying one's own needs. But do not treat yourself as an enemy, allow yourself some liberties at least sometimes. Make a list of the pleasures you would like to indulge in. Perhaps you will be pleased with shopping or a bath with fragrant foam, or maybe you have long dreamed of just spending the whole weekend at home reading a book. Don't be too hard on yourself.

Be loyal to yourself

Be tolerant of yourself, do not be angry with yourself if something did not work out right away, do not reproach mercilessly for failures. Try again or more than once - and everything will definitely work out.

Find a job you love

It's hard to respect yourself if every morning you have to curse the alarm clock, drag yourself to a hated job and consider yourself a slave in the galleys. Change professions if you need to, but do what you love. When you stop making the daily sacrifice, you will feel like a creator, and you will no longer have to think about self-respect.

"Census" of the environment

Analyze how pleasant you are the people with whom you communicate. If you know that there is a person with whom you are unpleasant to meet, do everything possible to reduce contact to a minimum. You will get rid of negative emotions, and stop feeling remorse from the fact that you are constantly annoyed.

Don't be fooled by empty promises

Learn to keep your promises. Promising yourself something, try to fulfill it - you will enjoy it, and at the same time increase your self-esteem.

Don't compare yourself to others

You do not need to compare yourself with anyone else - you are a separate person, worthy of respect and do not need examples to follow. If someone, in your opinion, is worthy of imitation, evaluate his experience, analyze his actions, life principles. You can learn a lot from more successful people, but you don't have to compare yourself to them.

Let go of the past

Forget about your old grievances, forgive the offenders and wish them all the best. While you are constantly returning to past events, the present passes by. You are missing opportunities by continuing disputes that have already been completed. This is a pointless waste of time and effort.

Appreciate yourself, and if it seems to you that the reasons for this are not enough, engage in self-improvement. We cannot always change circumstances, but everyone can learn to live with dignity. Do not do things that you will be ashamed of, do not betray yourself and be honest with yourself - then you will be able to respect yourself with every right.

Self-respect is one of the most important qualities of a person, allowing him to fight for his place in society. It gives him the opportunity to feel the power of his own dignity, which gives him the strength to confidently move towards any goals in his life.

Components of self-esteem

Self-respect is a necessary condition for the sustainable existence of a person in the modern world. Consists of several components:

  • Emotional - obliges the individual to respect himself as a person.
  • Competence - the level of knowledge in certain areas in which he feels confident.
  • Communication - communicating with others, a person finds an opportunity for self-realization. At the same time, it is very important when he feels the approval of one or more individuals, which increases his self-esteem and self-esteem.

Signs of Lack of Self-Esteem

Even the strongest personality can be haunted by a lack of self-respect, which can be expressed in the following manifestations:

  • distrust of others;
  • doubt about the importance and necessity of the business in which the individual is engaged;
  • it seems to a person that others do not like him;
  • constant suspicions of deception in relation to oneself;
  • feeling of loneliness in society.

If you want to develop self-confidence, psychology recommends loving yourself, finding positive qualities in yourself and demonstrating them in every possible way. Think, if you do not like yourself, then what should others see in you? Only adequate self-esteem will help you get out of the shadows. But do not exaggerate your merits. It has nothing to do with self-affirmation. Usually such behavior is aimed at masking one's self-doubt, rather than overcoming it.

myself?

Psychology associates self-confidence with the ability to love yourself. Many people are afraid of this feeling, because it is commonly believed that this is a sign of narcissism and even selfishness. But it is not so. Self-love means the ability not to forget about your desires and needs, dreams and self-realization. At the same time, you can still help others without fear of being accused of selfishness.

In order to learn to love and respect yourself, you need to remember the following points:

  • A person should become a good friend to himself. This means that you need to treat yourself with the same love and tolerance, care and generosity, as you would treat a close friend or relative.
  • Don't give too much importance to what others think of you. The statement that it is more visible from the outside is not always correct. Only by following your own can you come to self-respect.
  • Do not get addicted to people, habits, objects. This makes you an inferior person who cannot fully use all the opportunities that are provided to him.

Self-analysis is a way to increase self-esteem

Pride, self-respect must be on solid ground. To develop these feelings in yourself, you need to regularly conduct introspection and self-improvement in accordance with its findings. It is worth paying attention to the following points:

  • Life experience. What specific situations contributed to personal development?
  • Capabilities. A person must find in himself at least 5 talents or skills.
  • Strengths and weaknesses. The former must be considered from the point of view of their development, and the latter - overcoming.
  • Plans and dreams. What would you like to achieve in life and why haven't you done it yet?
  • Health status. Are there health problems? If yes, how to eliminate them?
  • Feeling of self fulfillment. Is it present? What helps to achieve it?

Psychological portrait of a person with high self-esteem

Of course, advice helps to increase self-esteem and come to self-esteem. But it is much easier to navigate if there is a specific example. Thus, the psychological portrait of a person with high self-esteem can be described as follows:

  • He always does things his own way. Even if it goes against public opinion and accepted notions of decency.
  • He does not need someone else's approval and worship. A person works to realize his own ambitions, which certainly leads to respect from others.
  • He always treats others with respect. Even with people occupying a lower social position, such a person behaves respectfully, does not allow neglect and rudeness.
  • In any situation, he holds himself with dignity. Even if the situation is losing or disadvantageous, the person does not lose his composure.
  • It has a zone of inviolability (or inviolability). This means that a person has a number of beliefs and principles that he does not change even in critical situations.

Seek mentors, not critics

The main mistake of most people with a low score is focusing on the opinions of others. Trying to listen to other people's advice and the generally accepted point of view, a person chooses a place of study, work, life partner, hobbies, and so on. At the same time, a person considers it shameful to defend his own opinion. Based on this, two points should be taken into account:

  • Beware of advisors. If the person who is trying to criticize or teach you life is not satisfied with his own position, you can hardly draw any valuable experience from him. Most likely, he is embittered and is trying to push you onto the same wrong path.
  • Try to learn from people who are happy with their lives and have achieved a lot. They are usually reluctant to give advice and do not reveal their secrets. But such people can be good mentors if you can win their trust.

Conclusion

The need for self-respect is even more pronounced than the need for social recognition. Moreover, the first, as a rule, is a powerful basis for the second. A person who strives for success must learn to perceive himself positively, daily proving his own importance to himself and others. For those who have not yet understood the importance of self-respect and high self-esteem, it is worth considering the statement of Eleanor Roosevelt. She said that no one will make you feel worthless or inferior unless you yourself allow it.

Self-esteem is a person's inner self-awareness, which has a visible manifestation in the behavioral sphere, reflected by a high assessment of one's own social value and rights. It has a close semantic relationship with self-esteem, self-esteem and the concept of one's own Self, which are at a high level, but are not identical, since in these close concepts more emphasis is placed on a person's perception of himself, while dignity always appeals to external society.

Self-esteem in relationships (whether intimate, child-parent or official) always predetermines a decent level of human behavior, high demands on oneself and the participants in the relationship. Such requirements are calmness of dialogue and decency of actions, guidance of moral principles and showing respect even in the form of one's appearance (by maintaining neatness). With the seeming pressure of demands and obligations, a person filled with dignity can behave much more freely than the average representative, going to his own desires in a virtuous way and showing excellent manners and education. Such people can open any doors, because they know and appreciate their strengths well, they know how to handle weaknesses and are able to present themselves to the outside world in such a way that these qualities are appreciated, without humiliating other people and trying to stand out, denigrating them.

Knowing the norms of behavior with you is a condition in order to begin developing a sense of self-worth, accepting or rejecting interaction from people, depending on its compliance with your internal criteria of the possible. This category is not innate, but is formed or frozen under the influence of the external environment, from the assessment of others (family, educators, culture), which can occur in teaching (norms, rules and human rights), conscious or unconscious suggestion (when a child is praised or scolded , give an assessment of his personality), when copying behavioral (parental behavior, as an example or examples of literature and cinema).

What is self-esteem

A sense of dignity is a manifestation of accepting oneself for the most part and recognizing oneself as a significant person, and such a self-attitude is based on a confident position and calmness, knowledge and a real assessment of one's own capabilities, as well as an understanding of the value of any human person. Some may confuse such a feeling with pride or, where the prerequisites for feeling valuable and significant are the desire for exaltation, constant comparison, which causes emotional swings and loss of confidence.

Self-esteem in a relationship allows you to appreciate yourself and appreciate the other, to choose something based on your own worldview, and not under the pressure of manipulation or competitive strategies. There is no desire to do something for the sake of pleasing others or confirming one's own significance, a person understands his importance a priori and such an understanding does not rely on external sources. This is similar to a mature relationship, where caring for others will be done from one's own internal motives of compassion or love, but not for the purpose of earning a good attitude, where difference is allowed and supported in both directions (i.e. a person will not give up living conditions or his rights for the sake of maintaining good relations, but will not encroach on the rights of another).

An important internal point is the desire to remain oneself and maintain a calm and firm position, not sinking to empty accusations, sorting things out with the help of shouting and threats, turning to intrigues and gossip as ways to influence the environment. Due to the lack of a competitive moment, calmness, confidence and self-knowledge, such a person cannot be offended, because he clearly understands who he is and who he is not (you will not be offended or argue with someone who calls you an antelope and take it seriously) . Honesty with oneself, an open recognition of weaknesses accompanies decent behavior, then a person can insure himself in advance in unstable moments, when the behavior looks like everything can be solved independently and cope with any problem, then this is already, which is sometimes good, but does not reflect an entirely adequate perception myself.

Such an attitude towards oneself is reflected by an effective manifestation of love for oneself and one's desires, since it is largely aimed at ensuring a quality standard of living. The need to look after appearance (not only at important events, but even on weekends, sitting at home), take care of health (not only buying medicines, but also providing quality rest, a rich diet, etc.), will buy only high-quality goods (without the desire to save because he knows he deserves the best). The same goes for the choice of work and friends, partners in life and ways to build relationships. A person who feels worthy will not be in an unworthy place, engage in low deeds and associate with lost people.

How to develop self-esteem

The development of self-esteem occurs in childhood, under the influence of the environment, and by the beginning of adult life it is a formed category, but not stable, so this sense of self can be either lost (if you get into frustrating conditions for a long time) or developed.

In adulthood, the formation of a sense of worthiness occurs on the basis of self-attitude, and accordingly, work must begin from this position. Initially, you will have to objectively evaluate yourself, get to know yourself (perhaps, for this you will need feedback from people around you who consider some of your shortcomings to be advantages and vice versa). This stage is needed to clearly define who you are in order to move away from imposing the opinions of others and switching this assessment to internal control, instead of spontaneous external control. The courage to recognize and accept oneself along with shortcomings gives a powerful inner strength and a vector of change. It is important that the intentions of change (if any are suddenly started after a review of one's qualities) are carried out in accordance with internal guidelines, and not the convenience of other people. Counting your victories and good qualities, changes on the way to the better should be carried out visually (you can write it down, you can score ten achievements and arrange a holiday or pampering for yourself) - such events increase.

You will have to fight the desire to compare yourself with others, it is acceptable to compare yourself with yourself (at the beginning of the path or with where you are striving). To make it easier, for the first time, you can turn off the news feed on the social network with profiles full of photos of success, or you can consider each catchy comparison as an experience of self-discovery. You can analyze your mental victories over someone on the subject of what this victory gives for the inner feeling, how it can be applied. You can also work with comparisons in a negative direction, fishing out your desires and needs from envy, and possibly images of conformity imposed by someone.

Listen to your desires and try to fulfill them, the constant postponing of your joys for the sake of others greatly inhibits the emergence of self-esteem, because every time, albeit for important reasons, someone else is worthy of happiness more than you. If you want to drink sea buckthorn tea in silence now - buy sea buckthorn, brew tea, close the door to the room with a no-entry sign. And the world will not collapse, even if you have a small child, a project deadline, or a girlfriend in a tantrum in the kitchen.

Since childhood, many have been taught modesty, the devaluation of compliments and the concealment of what is available (even material, even trips, even achievements). Such strategies of behavior make you value yourself less and shrink in size, trying to be worse, telling about successes only to those closest to you. But self-worth means accepting praise sincerely and joyfully, telling about your achievements, without depreciation. The attitude towards you and the value for society depends on your self-presentation. If you want a good relationship, you feel that you deserve it, speak well of yourself. And you can start from the opposite and form a worthy attitude with stories about your positive qualities, which will automatically tighten up your inner self-esteem.

In the meantime, this feeling cannot yet resist violators from the outside, then limit the circle of people and areas of communication where violations of human rights, freedoms and dignity are possible, where there are caustic and depreciating remarks, where your boundaries are violated, loading beyond measure in order to free your own time. It is not enough to cultivate such an attitude in oneself; one must get rid of the factors that contribute to the destruction of such an adequate self-perception.

In most cases, a person's self-esteem is laid from childhood. Due to the wrong attitude of parents, a person will grow up insecure, always doubting himself, having an inadequate assessment of his actions and, as a rule, dissatisfied with life. How to prevent this? And if a person has already formed, then how to improve it, become more confident, appreciate yourself and change your life? This will be discussed in the article.

Mom: punishment and praise

If a mother wants to form in her child a personality capable of adequately evaluating herself and her actions, she must be able not only to punish, but also to praise her child. When an adult asks himself the question: “How can I learn to respect myself?”, He has to look into childhood. It turns out that he was scolded a lot and had little or no praise from his parents, especially his mother. When a child is constantly subject to criticism, he develops an underestimation of himself. If the child is only praised, a person with high self-esteem will grow up. So it turns out that it is always better to stick to the golden mean. Mom has always been and will be the main link in the upbringing of a daughter or son.

From the point of view of the mother, the punishment can be quite justified, because the child does not obey. However, children are often misread not because they want to do us out of spite, but only to learn something new, to learn something, and at the moment it is inconvenient and troublesome for the parent. In order to avoid conflict situations, a mother should develop a sense of respect for her child, the ability to see an independent personality in him. "I said! .." should sound rare in communication with your precious child. Imagine how a child can learn to respect himself if he is constantly criticized! From such a little man, an insecure and, possibly, offended, angry adult person will grow up. Only mutual respect and calm communication is the right way to develop a harmonious personality that respects itself and the people around. No one excludes strictness, but nothing good will come of strictness alone. Man is not like the string of a bow. You can pull it, let it go and pull it again, but if you pull it, the psyche will suffer ...

The essence of self-esteem and how to learn to respect yourself with low self-esteem?

Self-esteem sounds like the voice of the judge of the inner man. He evaluates our actions, results, words, emotions, self-image. As a result, conceit is formed, which affects our perception of the world around us and our position, social behavior in it, confidence and determination to act, change something and decide whether to help someone or not, etc. Often the self-esteem of most people is very strong depends on how others perceive us. If this attitude is positive, then, accordingly, we grow in our own eyes. The opinion of others is important to everyone: women, men, girls and boys, teenagers and small children.

To understand how to learn to respect yourself, you need to:

  • Admit that you have a low opinion of yourself. Awareness is the first step to solving a problem.
  • Stop focusing on your own shortcomings. Switch to merit.
  • You are not a victim! Everyone has problems, and you are no exception. Your problems are no more than others. If you whine, they will get worse. People turn away from the whining person, and then new paths and opportunities are closed.
  • Relax! Find time for yourself. Let it be just a few minutes, but you should have them - minutes of complete calm and relaxation.
  • Rejoice and please yourself and those around you… From time to time make small surprises, gifts, go for a walk, go to the cinema, cafe or just to the park… Giving joy to yourself and your loved ones, you receive in return a huge amount of energy and a positive charge, which, in turn, affects self-esteem, self-respect and quality of life.

Reality and self respect

Interestingly, our self-respect has nothing to do with reality. Self-esteem, talents, abilities often do not correspond to each other. History knows many cases when geniuses with exceptional talent and abilities had a low opinion of themselves. At the same time, there are people who have mediocre abilities or are completely deprived of both intelligence and talents. It's amazing how high self-esteem they have!

Lack of self-respect leads people to suffer from insecurity, constantly feeling guilty and overwhelmed, failing to reach their full potential, and enduring abusive situations and relationships. For example, how to love yourself and increase self-esteem for a woman who endures constant censure, insults, reproaches and humiliation? Such a wife with low self-esteem will say words to her husband that in another situation she would never say. With another man who knows how to emphasize her dignity and shows respect for her, she would be a completely different woman, with a different view of herself and her surroundings ...

The main danger of self-disrespect lies in the formation of an inadequate perception of society and one's place in it. Very low self-esteem provokes the appearance of constant shame, various kinds of phobias. All this, of course, has an impact on the success and self-realization of the individual.

How to increase self-esteem for a woman or a man?

There are many reasons that result in low self-esteem. As a rule, this is a deeply rooted idea of ​​​​a person about himself, originating in childhood, past experiences and prolonged absence of parents. Self-denial can cause experienced psychological and (or) sexual abuse, wrong decisions that led a person to significant problems. If a person has had to endure any kind of violence, he will definitely need the help of a professional to increase his self-esteem.

The help of a psychologist or psychotherapist will provide an opportunity to release the sore, speak out and reconcile. Many people try to increase their own self-esteem on their own, but this does not give the expected result. Sometimes this approach leads to a deterioration in the condition, up to the most negative consequences. To raise self-esteem on your own, you need to have remarkable fortitude, will and a stable psyche. The best option would be to contact a specialist.

What are the signs of lack of self respect?

Self-esteem is a variable. It depends on the situation and environment. There are people who are calm and positive with close people, and closed and shy with strangers. Others, on the contrary, are confident, active and optimistic outside the home, while at home they get lost and seem to fade away. We are all different. Not everyone knows how to maintain a balanced state of mind under stress and difficulties. Adequate self-esteem and self-confidence are formed in childhood. However, this does not mean that it is impossible to form it in adulthood. Just for this, at least the desire of the person himself is necessary.

Sometimes it seems that a person is quite self-confident, optimistic and positive. But in fact, such a person can constantly be in a state of struggle with himself, with his phobias and complexes. Therefore, low self-esteem manifests itself differently in different people. To understand how to learn to value and respect yourself, you need to conduct an introspection of the causes and signs of low self-esteem:

  • guilt - frequent and unreasonable;
  • auto-aggression;
  • incessant self-criticism;
  • tightness and shyness;
  • different phobias, fears (for example, in public speaking).

People with established low self-esteem, as a rule, perceive the world as something hostile, and feel themselves in the role of a victim. They feel fear and unwillingness to express and assert their rights, refuse new experiences, miss opportunities and feel completely helpless and unfit for life. All this only worsens the condition, and the person moves in a vicious circle, constantly feeling shame and fear.

  • create a list of your achievements and strengths, read it regularly;
  • remember your uniqueness, value for loved ones and others, and even if there are none, then God certainly needs you. You are a person whom God loves and appreciates, but wants her to be transformed and get rid of bad thoughts and a painful state of mind;
  • forbid yourself even to think: “No one needs me, no one loves me, I never succeed, I am a loser ...”;
  • tidy up your appearance, this is very important for solving the problem of self-esteem;
  • eat only healthy and wholesome food. Do not take food in front of TV, video, radio, etc. Make it a special time with a set table, even if you are alone;
  • exercise at least three times a week and take daily walks in the fresh air;
  • be sure to get enough sleep;
  • undergo relaxing massage procedures and spare no expense for your health;
  • the house should be clean and comfortable, and let your letters, cups, valuable gifts or just your pictures, photos decorate the walls or shelves;
  • sometimes indulge yourself with sweets or do your favorite and interesting thing for you;
  • listen to positive music, watch motivating, kind and bright movies, start to be interested in painting, dancing, culture;
  • communicate with positive people;
  • set yourself realistic goals and achieve results;
  • and souls;
  • learn how to cook deliciously, sing, dance and go to the temple, pray to God and ask to let love into your life and heart;
  • complete unfinished business and do good deeds for people, reconsider your social circle, devote your time a little more for your neighbors, while expanding your horizons;
  • do not be afraid of those who do not appreciate you, stand straight, straighten your back - you are no longer that humiliated little man. You have your own opinion and self-respect, confident and positive, and let evil remain somewhere out there, far from you;
  • never compare yourself to anyone.

Every change of self is a work. Do not perceive this process as hard, tedious work. Enjoy the transformation, get joy and satisfaction from it.