“Personally, I decided not to get married at all! And what ... one is somehow calmer. I want halva, I want gingerbread…” - Exclaimed the heroine of the amazing film “Girls” after the “betrayal” of her friend.
And that's right! - “One is somehow calmer! Let's take a look behind the scenes...
"My own mistress" is a very strong argument. Judge for yourself.
YOU decide what furniture, what car, what vacation you want. No compromise! You decide for yourself which channel to watch on TV and when you go to bed! YOU CAN get yourself any animal - even a snake and a Madagascar cockroach - no one will say a word to you. Provided, of course, that you will follow and carefully care for them. "Danger" can only be neighbors. And the neighbors will bother you, you can go to a separate house! At this point, a digression should be added - since she is free from many of the burdens that are inherent in family women - she is able to cash in on such an entourage. Otherwise, everything is much less positive. Below it will be clear why.
So, I DO IT ALL MYSELF.
I live with a personal refrigerator, in which only those products that I NEED. I always considered it an indisputable advantage of this lifestyle - you can, even without a strong will, maintain any diet! And you won’t feel nauseous… well, something is inside when you come home from work in the evening and you, in order for your figure to be perfect, you can only drink yogurt or kefir. And there's roasted veal in the fridge. Which the family has not yet eaten .. And you ... take out a sharp knife and cut yourself a few ... more than you should! more... a piece of fragrant rye bread, well, what dry biscuits for cold veal!... And that's all... You put off your diet FOR TOMORROW. With all the consequences ... And if there is NO cold veal in your refrigerator, you take your own yogurt and, mournfully rumbling in your stomach, with a feeling of DEEP satisfaction, go to bed. It's a wonderful feeling, especially in the morning. If you managed to “resist” in the evening before the yummy prepared for your spouse, then he doesn’t toil with an “imperfect figure”! In the morning you feel like a winner! Agree, having a refrigerator full of food for the household is extremely difficult! How much easier it is for a woman who lives alone! You can sincerely envy. She has a lot more tools to keep her body in perfect shape! Just to be happy, looking in the mirror, and not for the sake of being liked by men-not (us) !!! And, if a woman who is waiting for a man in bed every evening spends calories on sex, “a woman with an empty refrigerator” can pedal the simulator in front of the TV set, launching her favorite movie or a foreign language course! In order to consolidate knowledge of a foreign language in bed with a man, it would be nice to have a foreign husband, at least! Say no advantage? Yes, what else!
Of course, if you knocked over a pot with something in the kitchen, you yourself must clean up this puddle - without outside help. But you yourself overturned her, and it’s your own fault, hands and asses! And nothing is annoying. And if your spouse did it, and you just did the cleaning, and THIS, from the pan, numbed under all the cabinets and legs ... And the spouse just turned awkwardly! Feel the difference!
You can lead the lifestyle that interests you, attend those concerts that you like, and you will not be ashamed that “in the middle of Chopin”, next to you, disgusting snoring will be heard, drowning out the lovely trills. You can choose who to go to the concert with without fear of running into a vicious protest - that happens too.
In our time, the advantages of the "female self" are much greater than some ten or twenty years ago. But what about the disadvantages?
So FAMILY. Let's not consider partnerships that change in composition - they are rather a sign of "SELF". What good is it to have a constant partner-husband. It is not appropriate to talk about procreation and children; many “independent” women decide to do it alone. Bad option, but now is not about that.
THERE ARE ALWAYS "PROS" AND "MINUSES" IN EVERYTHING. And, even if cons come to mind first, -
OH- He never twists a tube of toothpaste and it flows out onto the bathroom shelf! HE keeps the razor unwashed (doesn't wash the shaved parts of the beard out of the electric razor in the sink). HE scatters his socks. HE slips things of a different color into the washing machine! HE WATCHES FOOTBALL!!! HE steps over the fallen piece of paper twenty times and does nothing. HE sharpens knives without even warning you about it - you take a knife - you think it's stupid - but it's on you - and there's blood in the stream! HE spends CRAZY money on wobblers, spinning rods, membrane clothes, in general equipment for fishing (hunting, mountaineering and something that I don’t even know what it’s called ..) HE buys radio-controlled cars for HIMSELF!!! And with the same "psychos" - participates in competitions all weekend! HE will never buy exactly what he needs in the store if he does not come with photos of labels! HE does not look at the expiration date on the products! HE puts the purchases in a bag mixed up! HE is going to the tire fitting just when we were going to go to my mother! HE constantly giggles at your conversations with your girlfriends. HE will never accept - unconditionally - the item you choose! He will also say, “for such money ?!” HE doesn't understand why salon treatments are so expensive! And finally, HE eats ice cream in front of you, knowing that just yesterday you went on a diet! The list of ITS shortcomings is endless. BUT the pros always go hand in hand with the cons.
HE can solve all major problems by himself. HE will come to you immediately if your car stops or you get into an accident. OH on the phone - he can tell “which button to press” on anything. HE knows what kind of oil is in your car and will not be mistaken as a salesman! HE knows how a screwdriver differs from a drill and you don't need to bother with this garbage. HE will allow you to paint something yourself, and may even agree with the color you choose! HE carries bags and everything heavy. And if he doesn’t wear it himself, he organizes it. He himself will sort out domestic conflicts with third parties. HE, at the right moment, will support, agree and remain silent. And also, HE will forgive you that you are SUCH A WOMAN! And instead of a simulator, you will have high-quality sex, which is also more useful than a simulator. If OH is next to you, not a single infection will dare to address you with some vile words. If you cannot make a decision, but you are under pressure, you will call HIM - HE will just stand next to you - and everything will work out right away. If you have OH, you don't have to worry that repairs will be expensive and bad for you. And in general - repair is not your concern. And, finally! -HE is smart - it is just interesting to talk with him in the evening by the fireplace, which you have in a country house, which appeared to you thanks to HIS efforts. And it is superfluous to insert your “five kopecks” that you, while he was engaged in the improvement of your common life, fed him, treated him, made sure that he was warmly dressed and looked for him a scarf that he had put somewhere, and collected socks for him! Something we must do for ourselves!
Of course, these are collective images - only some part of the signs is suitable for everyone. And therefore, women should treat the MINUSES with humor and wisdom, and with understanding and faith the PLUSES.
And, even if we decided that there are more minuses in living together than pluses, we should not prove our “rightness”!
How about Berkovsky? "Everyone chooses for himself ..."! Why put your "NON-ALONENESS" in dignity, if someone lives much better in a different "LONELINENESS"...
Many people would like to go free-flying and start working for themselves, but they are stopped by the fear of uncertainty and instability. And disbelief in yourself, in your strength, in your knowledge and skills. As a result, when a person is left without work, he, most often, begins to look for another job, driving away from himself all thoughts of working for himself. But in vain! Today I want to describe to you several reasons why working for yourself is much better and more interesting.
Seven Obvious Benefits of Working for Yourself
1. You earn around the clock.
Yes, exchanging your time and labor for money by getting a well-paid job is not bad. But not entirely reasonable. After all, at work you are paid money only for your "work-hours", only when you work. Have you ever thought that it is much more interesting, more useful and better to get money even when you are not working? Imagine how nice it would be to receive income around the clock!
You are at work more than 40 hours a week, but this fact does not bother anyone. Every employer cares about the value and importance of what they receive in the process of your work, and they pay you for it. So many people not only spend most of their lives at work, but also take work home. And the conclusion suggests itself that exchanging your time for money is not the best (and far from the most profitable) way to earn money. And there are better ways when the value you produce is separated from the cost of your time. This can be fees for creative work (for example, freelancing), investing in something (stocks, real estate, stock exchanges), income from the implementation of your inventions, creating a website or an online store.
By launching your earning system, you will no longer exchange time for money. Your system will work autonomously bringing you some income and from now on, most of your time will be spent on increasing your income by improving and developing your system or launching new systems.
2. All income is yours.
When working for your uncle, you need to produce so much value that you will not only cover your salary and taxes, but also bring a good income to the owners of the enterprise where you work. And it turns out that in hired work you are paid only a certain part of the money from the value you have produced. Yes, you yourself understand that your real salary can be (and should be) several times higher. However, you will never get most of this money. When you work for yourself, all income is yours.
In general, in my opinion, it is quite difficult to live on some kind of modest, fixed wage. I even did some calculations, read the article on this topic
3. You regulate your income yourself.
When you work for someone else, you cannot increase your income on your own. In order for you to increase your salary, you will need to talk with your superiors and prove the validity of your requirements. In this case, it is unlikely that you will receive an answer that will completely satisfy you. And in your created income system, you can decide and regulate how much and when you should receive money.
4. Be your own boss.
In hired work, you are always supervised by a supervisor or owner. And what happens when you do not want to follow someone's commands and obey someone else's will? It depresses you, upsets you, humiliates you, and so on. For many of you, such work is clearly not a pleasure and sometimes even causes outright protest. When you work for yourself, there are no bosses and directors over you. For me, this was the main deciding factor in favor of working for myself. I am a leader by nature and always have my own opinion on everything, so it is difficult for me to obey, especially to fulfill any requirements that do not correspond to my inner world and upbringing.
5. You get a lot of useful knowledge.
People get some experience when they get a job. But, it should be noted that we get some experience, regardless of the availability of work. Any job gives only a specific experience of this particular job. Yes, at the beginning you will learn a lot of new things, but then everything will move without much change. And because of this, you can miss out on many other opportunities, maybe even more important and valuable ones. What kind of experience would you like to have? Do you want to know how to do a certain job well in exchange for your time? Or, after all, you want to learn how to achieve financial independence so that you no longer need to work for hire.
6. You can define your social circle and freedom of movement.
When you constantly work in a certain structure, you have to communicate with colleagues at work, regardless of whether you like these people or not. In addition, each company has its own corporate culture, which imposes certain restrictions and requirements on you. The question is, do you agree to be in such dependence? When working for yourself, you not only get to choose your social circle, but also have freedom of movement. Agree, when you sit in the office from 8 to 17, as if tied, it is very, very uncomfortable. It is much more pleasant to have freedom of choice, freedom of movement, do what you like and live for your own pleasure.
7. Stay safe.
Many people believe that working for someone else is the safest and most reliable way to support yourself and your family. After all, there is a stable salary that can be calculated and planned. And, in a way, there is confidence in the future. But one can argue with this how much stability and security can be felt in our society, when at any moment you can lose your job, and, at the same time, your main and “stable” source of income. When you are an employee, you are not in control of the situation and therefore cannot feel safe. But working for yourself, you can keep everything under control and manage the situation!
So, we conclude:
If this article was useful for you, and you want to tell your friends about it, click on the buttons. Thank you very much! Most people would like to work for themselves. Of course, this gives a lot of advantages, but do not forget that there are also small disadvantages.
What are the pros and cons awaiting someone who decides to become his own boss?
Hours worked
Pros: When you are your own boss, you have freedom of choice. You decide when and how much you work. This allows you to plan your time more productively. You can always find a free moment for your hobby, for your family and for your friends. Once you've made enough money, you can always take a week off without telling anyone.
Minuses: The reality is that people who work for themselves usually work twice as hard as those who work for a boss. This is due to the fact that when earning money in your wallet, it is very difficult to stop, it always seems that you can earn more. Also, the absence of superiors can lead to a lack of discipline. It's hard to force yourself to work when no one is watching you.
Making decisions
Pros: If you are self-employed, you are in control of your business, you make your own decisions, and you make your own choices when needed. No one is forcing their opinion on you. You do as you see fit.
Minuses: On the other hand, when you are your own boss, your success depends entirely on your own decisions. Every wrong step will cost you money. No one will tell you if you are doing the right thing or not. All responsibility lies solely with you. This is risky if you are overly emotional or indecisive.
earnings
Pros: Nothing is more attractive in working for yourself than the financial side. There is no limit to how much you can earn when you are your own boss. The amount of your income depends only on you. The more hardworking you are and the more interesting your ideas, the more money you will receive as a result.
Minuses: When you work for a boss, you are sure that you will receive a certain amount of money on a certain day, so it is easier for you to calculate your budget. Plus, it gives you a sense of security. You know for sure that you will not be left without money, even if the amount is not very large.
Place of work
Pros: When you are your own boss, you decide what is more convenient for you - work from home or rent an office. You arrange your workplace according to your personal tastes and preferences.
Minuses: Not everyone can afford to rent an office at their own expense, and working from home threatens that you will be constantly distracted. It is difficult to focus on something serious when you are at home, where you are used to relaxing and relaxing.
Do you know why you are reading these lines now? Because you want to understand something, to understand something, to learn, to get answers to your questions. This is what usually leads a person to a psychologist's website. And, since you have not come to a psychologist personally, it means that at this stage you want to study yourself and the world around you on your own. And I understand you perfectly!
I also love working with myself. I first try all new techniques on myself, and only after that I decide whether I will use them in my work with clients or not. And sometimes I do it just for fun :) Because getting to know yourself is a process that, it seems to me, can continue indefinitely.
Benefits of self-study
Each person is an amazing combination of various facets and depths, which, moreover, tend to transform and change. We can always discover something interesting, new, previously unknown in ourselves.
With regular work with ourselves, we begin to discover new aspects of the facts we already know. I think this is even more interesting. Every time it's a new level. It seems that you know everything, you understand, but suddenly the understanding becomes deeper, and new, completely different meanings open up. And completely different perspectives. And you move to some new level of development, perception of the world, awareness.
And more insights! I can't pass by without talking about them! Do you know this amazing feeling of enlightenment? When you want to exclaim “Here it is! Exactly! I understood everything! ”, When you are surprised that the answer was nearby, lying on the surface, but for some reason you didn’t notice it, but then you suddenly saw it! When something suddenly clicked in my head, and understanding, awareness came, the puzzle was formed! It's great, right?
Cons of self-study
There is one big pitfall here. Especially often it is faced by novice researchers of themselves, but experienced ones also sometimes run into it during their travels. This stone is called "resistance".
Here are just a few of its manifestations: a phone call during the execution of the technique, to which for some reason you decide to answer (and you could not answer and just call back later), the feeling that the question from the exercise being performed has nothing to do with you at all, an acute desire check your mail or refresh your social media page right now, accompanied by a thought like "I'll check it quickly and continue with the technique." It's all resistance. And it is not easy to overcome it on your own, for this you need a certain skill. But even having a skill does not guarantee that you can handle it.
This is neither bad nor good, it's just a fact that must be taken into account when working independently. And the more you practice, the easier you will be able to recognize resistance and get around its traps. But it is unlikely that you will ever be able to completely get rid of resistance.
In addition to this pitfall, it is important to remember one more minus. No matter how great our desire and experience, self-exploration will never replace a full-fledged session with a psychologist or coach. Working in tandem with a specialist always turns out to be much deeper and more effective. And this fact also needs to be accepted. Among psychologists, there is even a saying that a psychologist to himself is like a dentist to himself. Therefore, when working with yourself, it is important to remember that in some cases it is better to entrust the work to a specialist.
And still…
And yet, as I said at the beginning of this article, I also like to work with myself. And, as many already know, I have a great tool that is the best suited for independent work - metaphorical associative maps (MAC).
Everyone who loves MAK as much as I do, and who is ready to go on an exciting journey deep into himself, I invite you to MAK gatherings. MAK gatherings are a series of webinars, each of which is completely independent. You do not have to attend all webinars, you can choose only those topics that resonate with you.
The author of the idea and the host is me, Valeria Alekseeva. After registering for MAK Gatherings, you will receive information about new topics of the webinars, the date and time of the event, and, of course, a link to enter the webinars.
Participation in gatherings is free, but I warn you right away: there will be no records in the public domain. We will work only online, at each webinar there will be a deep author's technique on the chosen topic. Everything I like: a minimum of theory and a maximum of practice, discoveries and insights! If you love it too, then poppy gatherings are for you! You can register for MAK gatherings. And I'll be glad to see everyone
Today, there are so many opportunities to work for yourself, no matter what you do: writing articles, translating, designing or recruiting.
Working for yourself, you certainly get a lot of benefits. The most obvious ones include a free work schedule, the opportunity to prove yourself outside your specialty, the ability to influence your income, the ability to work from almost anywhere (if you have a phone and / or computer), and, of course, psychological freedom from superiors.
You act as the director of your own cinema, you can work whenever you want, where you want, you can rest at any time and for as long as you want. This does not mean, however, that you can easily leave your clients, but you can take a break as soon as the opportunity arises.
You can also work for yourself, even if you work within a company. If you are tired of monotony at your main job and you have some free time, you can take a part-time job, for example, in the form of translations, and thus support your knowledge of foreign languages, or, if you are a creative person at heart, you can earn extra money, for example making video montage from weddings. Such part-time jobs will give not only additional income, but also the opportunity to show your skills that are not used in your main job.
There is another obvious plus in working for yourself: you are forced to acquire new skills. Since you are on your own, you must take care of where to get clients, sell yourself to them, i.e. to convince them why they should work with you and not with a trusted company, you will have to master the basics of accounting and, of course, you will have to overcome laziness and learn how to effectively plan your working time.
But, besides the advantages, there are, of course, disadvantages in working for yourself. And these shortcomings are more likely to be hidden, they usually begin to be realized after a while.
Since in working for yourself you are left to yourself, you master new knowledge and skills up to a certain point, then you stop growing on yourself, and you have no one to learn from, there is no leader or team from whom you can learn something new.
Just as you have the opportunity to influence your income, you also become dependent on your customers. Working within the company, you receive a stable fixed income, regardless of the number of clients and the market situation. In the worst case, you can move to a new company and earn your income there. When you work for yourself, you are 100% dependent on your efforts and the situation on the market; in a bad scenario, you can be left not only without income, but also with debts.
In addition, when you start working for yourself, you enter into a kind of race for great results and, accordingly, income. Of course, this is useful for some time for you as a person while everything is new, but as a result, work remains work for the sake of work, boredom comes from monotony and you just get tired.
What decision to make? Which is better: working for yourself or within a company? Everyone will answer this question for himself, starting from his capabilities and the presence of an adventurous streak. But, it is safe to say that the experience of working for yourself will give you confidence, because you will learn how to behave in difficult situations, make important decisions and take responsibility for the result, which means that no matter how the market changes, you will not fear the possibility of losing your job. You will just know that you can always organize it yourself.
