We all know that in life we need to strive for something. From all sides we hear examples of the achievements and success of people who dreamed and strived to realize their dreams, ideas and achieved what they wanted. They went through serious obstacles, experienced many difficulties and, nevertheless, did not give up on their goal. To have a goal in life is to wake up in the morning with joy in anticipation of new victories and achievements, it is to rejoice at every opportunity to prove yourself and to feel gratitude for your destiny.
“Why am I worse? Why don't I have a goal? - every person can ask himself. After all, everyone wants to get more pleasure from life, not less, each of us dreams and wants to get from life what is secretly languishing in the depths of his soul.
Looking around at other people in today's world, we all, one way or another, fall into some kind of stereotype of success. Today it is money, property, social status, career and business.
However, people’s desires and abilities are much broader, and not everyone will be able to enjoy running around for the next million or a brand new Rolls-Royce in the courtyard of a country house.
And if you imagine the lifestyle that a typical representative of success follows, then many people simply fall into a stupor, panic, experiencing complete internal rejection of such a life.
Entering the treadmill of competition and the rule of the strong, some people quickly realize that “this is not mine” and, disappointed in themselves and their strengths, quit the race.
Following the choice of the method of one’s own basic survival, life turns into the mechanical everyday life of home + work = routine or into the unfortunate fate of a squirrel in a wheel.
Those people who have no goal, and therefore no desire and passion for life, do not have enough strength to live, and the celebration of life, from the happiness once promised in childhood feelings, is replaced by melancholy and apathy, and sometimes even depression and suicidal thoughts. The massive need for personal psychological help, for the help of fortune-tellers and clairvoyants, the “fashion” for bad internal states - alas, is becoming a distinctive feature of a modern consumer society, a society with established values of accessible goods, rights and freedoms.
However, by saying that I have no purpose, many people do not realize that they have a purpose in this life, this desire is the fundamental basis of any person, which animates and sustains his existence.
In the hope that a psychologist will help, everyone suffering from internal deficiency does not realize that a psychologist is another person with his own desires, and a diploma in psychological education does not at all mean having the ability to fulfill the desires of other people, to live life for them.
Understanding that there is no purpose for further existence is the first impetus for conscious participation in one’s life, independent awareness of one’s desires.
“How to understand your desires? What do I really want? This healthy thought, making its way through the jungle of consciousness, through childhood traumas received during growing up, through the same social stereotypes, receives great distortions, eventually leading, at times, to erroneous actions and undesirable results. Desire, as such, turns out to be hidden in the depths of the unconscious, inaccessible to observation.
In system-vector psychology, there are eight vectors, eight groups of mental desires that set and shape a person’s character and abilities, his talents, which may or may not be developed, aspirations, preferences, and sexuality. The human vector set is innate; any combination of vectors can occur, that is, people can be from single-vector to complex polymorphs, which determines a person’s multifunctional abilities.
Ignorance of one’s talents and developed properties leaves a person disoriented internally, unable to find his place in society, unable to form that very thought, a formed goal, the pursuit of which would lead this person to self-realization and happiness, including material success.
Not following one’s given talents and desires, either under the pressure of stereotypes or from childhood traumas, leads to the fact that in the chosen lifestyle, a person finds himself under pressure that is unusual for him, unable to cope with this pressure, experiencing constant over-stress and displeasure from life.
In addition, the social stereotypes of our time, which have an unconditional influence on everyone: material values, social status and success, do not suit everyone, because relate to only one vector – the skin one, whose talents and properties include speed, logic, rational thinking, the desire for personal gain, property and social superiority.
All other vectors do not have the goal of personal enrichment, but there are many other desires - this is the desire to know oneself in the sound vector, emotional disclosure in the visual vector, the desire for honor and family values in the anal vector, and so on.
Today is an exact copy of the previous one - a desired result for some and a terrible torment for others. In the realities of the modern world, life without goals and constant tasks is practically impossible, therefore the image of today's person is a person striving for self-development and constant achievement of something. But what about those who are not used to setting any goals for themselves, because such a person feels comfortable simply going with the flow.
A clear plan or constant improvisation?
Ancient practices say that the main goal of man is to live in harmony with himself and nature, without seeking to subjugate or achieve anything other than understanding himself. This view of the world is shared only by a minority of the world's population. Technological progress, megacities - such a pace of life does not allow the majority to succumb to the flow; today's people grew up with the idea of achieving certain, individual heights. But whether it is worth pursuing them, everyone decides for himself.
- No goal – harmony. This is perhaps the smallest sample of people who have learned to get along with themselves and the world. For such a person, the goal is equated to a frame from which he strives to escape.
- Convenience in the absence of a goal. Such people are most often of a creative nature; for them, improvisation is the best thing that can be, because this is how they can experience life and realize themselves.
- A feigned lack of purpose. These people are pathological victims who want to be pitied. Constant search for oneself, which never turns into action, “loss of the taste of life.” Such a person actually unconsciously adheres to a clearly defined goal, but his life is often boring and monotonous.
- A human robot or a resident of a metropolis, one whose diary is written out literally by the second. The motto of such a representative is “Life is suffocating without a goal” and his life, unlike the previous type, is never boring. The main thing in the hectic days of such a person is to find the line when to stop and make a pit stop. It is the search for such a line that is a weak point.
- Too lazy to think about everything. The preferred type at the moment. Such a person has a million thoughts, ideas, goals in his head, but he never has time to implement them, because he is busy with other things that essentially do not matter. Due to its prevalence, this type even received its own definition in psychology - procrastinator.
- Harmony of goal setting. This type is admirable, because it was he, like the first, who found himself, only in this case in planning and achieving goals. He is not afraid of improvisation, he does not always live by a notebook, but at the same time he manages to do everything and intuitively senses the moment to relax.
Based on the types presented, we can conclude that for the majority the goal is to guarantee that life will not be boring and monotonous.
Lack of purpose is not always a bad thing. But if you feel that the hustle and bustle of everyday life is becoming uncomfortable, set a cherished goal and your life will change!
- Goal is aspiration. If you constantly retreat and cannot achieve your goals, then some psychologists advise starting with small achievements and gradually moving on to larger ones. But most experts say that it is necessary to immediately find a goal that will force you to move forward, like a cherished star. Motivation is the key to success.
- Paper and pen. Be sure to write down your “cherished star” and draw up a rough action plan.
- Pros. Before you put your pen down, write down the benefits that you will get if you achieve what you want.
- Positive aspects are great, but it is also worth listing possible difficulties. Thus, with a high probability, you will be able to avoid them.
- Deadline. Designate the extreme point at which you will definitely get what you are striving for.
- Psychology has proven the success of visualization. Therefore, imagine as clearly as possible how you have already achieved your cherished goal, what you feel, how you look, as many details as possible. Try to believe and live this moment.
- Give up the opportunity to retreat. Experts advise using the contract method by writing on paper your goal, points 3,4,5 and the fact that you will definitely reach the end, sign it and you will not have a step back. When you achieve what you want, such a paper will be one of many reasons for pride.
These points will definitely lead you to success, because as research shows, achieving your goals is one of the guarantees of happiness and attracting positive moments into life. And a happy person cannot help but be successful; his life will definitely not be boring.
Without a goal there is no success. Maximum concentration on the goal is the most important quality of people who achieve achievements in any business, in any field. The more significant target, the larger success a person can achieve in his life. A person cannot realize his potential, his capabilities and abilities if he does not learn to set goals for himself. Availability goals can be compared to having a compass that helps you find your way in an endless desert or tropical jungle. One more important note. Man is a goal-achieving creature. If you don’t set a goal for yourself, then you will realize the goals of other people.
Are dreams and goals the same thing?
Target- this is the image of the future that a person wants to achieve. But is any image of the future a goal? The image of the future is dream. Dream And target They differ, firstly, in that the goal is always potentially achievable and realistic, while the dream may be unattainable. For example, a person may dream of living to a time when there will be no wars on Earth, but it is obvious that in the next period of historical development this is impossible. Secondly, a dream may not imply human activity, activity, but the goal determines some human actions. Of course, any dream can become a goal under certain conditions. A girl who dreams of marrying a millionaire can make this dream her goal.
Why don't people set goals?
B. Tracy, a well-known expert in the field of success, says there are several reasons for this.
- People want to improve their lives, but are unwilling to put in the required effort. They can talk beautifully, but do nothing.
- People did not take responsibility for their own lives. They hope in fate, chance, in other people who can change their lives for the better.
- Low self-esteem of a person. He simply does not believe that he is capable of setting serious goals.
- People don't realize their importance. If a person grew up in an environment in which people did not set goals for themselves, then he does not understand either their significance or their capabilities.
- People just don't know how to set goals. They acquire a lot of knowledge, skills, abilities, without assuming that the ability to set a goal can be of equal or even greater importance for a happy life.
- Fear of being misunderstood and criticized.
- Fear of failure. Fear of failure comes from a lack of understanding of the role of failure in achieving success. It is impossible to achieve success without experiencing failure. Failure is a prerequisite for success.
How to set goals correctly?
To successfully achieve goals, they must be formulated correctly. To do this, there are a number of techniques with which you can install really high-quality goals. One of the most common and effective methods is setting smart goals, i.e. goal setting using S.M.A.R.T. criteria.
In accordance with this technology goals must be:
- Specific
- Measurable
- Achievable
- Result-oriented
- Correlative to a specific period (Timed)
Specific Objectives (S). The goal must be clearly formulated. Otherwise, the end result may be different from what was planned.
Measurable Goals (M). If the goal does not have any measurable parameters, it will be impossible to determine whether the result has been achieved.
Achievable Goals (A). Goals are used as an incentive to solve some problems and, thus, further move forward by achieving success. There is no need to set goals that, on the contrary, would lead to increased stress in your life. It is worth setting fairly challenging goals that involve effort, but at the same time keeping in mind that they must be achievable.
Results-oriented goals (R). Goals should be characterized based on the result, not the work done. This way efficiency is achieved. You can set yourself a goal of coming to work an hour earlier, but if you don’t define the expected result from this, then this hour can be spent drinking coffee or just chatting.
Time-bound goals (T). Any goal must be feasible in a certain time dimension.
It’s hard not to understand the purpose of your own life when inside you feel like more than just a piece of biomass, but you don’t know for sure where it is, your personal path. Where did this question come from in me? What are the true reasons for seeking justification for your life?
Heavy autumn sky, full of rain and the first snowflakes. So low that it seems you can reach it with your hand. And I feel with my whole body how it presses on my shoulders. It peers into me, showing on its canvas, like a film projector, what my life is, a life without a goal, without a route, while even migratory birds have reasons for their migrations.
At this time of year, nature resonates so uniquely with what's going on inside that it feels like I've been turned inside out. And this rain drumming on the windows is actually my tears, if only I could still cry. It’s hard not to understand the purpose of your own life when inside you feel like more than just a piece of biomass, but you don’t know for sure where it is, your personal path. Life without a goal is very similar to serving a prison sentence: a series of indistinguishable movements according to a given scenario, devoid of purpose and meaning.
Find your goal
Where did this question come from in me? What are the true reasons for seeking justification for your life? The desire to find my place in the sun and understand why I ended up here, to identify and understand the reasons for my own search for the purpose of life has been my main driving force for a very long time. This does not give peace and rest, it is exhausting. But the answers are never found.
It is difficult and almost impossible to think about anything else. I constantly return to the questions: why does a person need a goal in life, what should those who cannot determine it for themselves do?
A person comes into this life, no matter a man or a woman, and most often, from childhood, dreams of happiness, of what his purpose is, and therefore the purpose of existence, determine his further development and direction of movement.
But what should someone do who, for reasons unknown to him, has no dreams and goals in life, who moves as if on autopilot, taking the position of an outside observer in his life? How to decide on the sphere of his interests if nothing was ever able to truly capture his thoughts, except for the internal search for something that he himself could not understand?
Life without a goal or a goal without life
One of the first discoveries of such a person, who first came to the portal of System-Vector Psychology of Yuri Burlan, will be that, it turns out, he is not alone in his search. The purpose of life, as something that would fill it with deep meaning, is sought by thousands of people who have similar mental properties, namely.
Each of the eight vectors endows its owner with desires that push him to different ways of realizing himself in society. This means that each desire also determines the presence of the necessary properties in order to achieve everything that a person desires. It's like cause and effect: we can't want to jump with a parachute without having the desire to get adrenaline, for example. And we cannot have a passion for learning foreign languages without a desperate desire to find meaning in words.
Each representative has their own list of goals in life. But a situation where you feel in a special way opposed to the world is only possible with a sound artist. The state of searching, the feeling of being unadapted to this mortal life, the acute sense of distinguishing oneself from the majority, from the “stupid crowd that blindly follows instincts” and, perhaps, therefore not asking any questions, evokes a strong desire to understand: what is the purpose of my life specifically, why? a person needs a goal in life and what can become a goal for me?
The correct formulation of the question is already half the answer.
When the goal is to find a goal
At Yuri Burlan’s training “System-vector psychology” we learn that the sound engineer has the largest mental capacity. This means that to fill it, that is, to feel inner satisfaction, joy and harmony with oneself, it is necessary to make greater efforts. And their quality is different from what the other seven vectors need to achieve success. The sound engineer cannot find his goal where the vast majority of other people find it. That is, indicators such as -
studies (" I already know everything, what can you teach me?»);
Job (" senseless, useless mouse fuss»);
career (" In any case, I am superior to you all and hundreds of light years ahead of you, why the fuss?»);
family (" there is nothing more painful than loneliness in a couple»)
For him they are not highly significant. He cannot find in them a worthy incentive for his own movement through life.
In fact, even having a job and being successful in it, having a family and income, the sound artist often feels that he is living his life without a goal. He doesn't understand why this is all. Because his main desire, which determines his psyche, remains unsatisfied and unnoticed.
Find a goal - find yourself
What the psyche of a sound artist strives for is knowledge of oneself and others, awareness of one’s place and role in the ongoing process of life, comprehension of one’s own presence in this world. Discovering the root cause, design, deep processes that move and control everything around. This search for meaning is often not realized and is felt by the carrier of the sound vector as living life without a goal.
It is difficult to be aware of yourself and clearly separate your desires from those imposed by advertising and media in the modern world. In order to define yourself, you need to get to know yourself.
The paradox and main problem in the sound vector is that the less sense the sound artist sees around him, the more he focuses on himself. And then the circle closes without a hint of a way out, because within yourself there is no way to find what you are looking for. If only because you don’t see the differences, there’s nothing to compare with. Then life without a goal, which for a sound artist is equal to “without meaning,” is felt most acutely.
When the geography of searches narrows to one point inside one’s own skull, it is difficult to see the full scale of what is happening. Therefore, an incredibly important step is to change the focus of attention, a kind of switch from yourself to those around you. And it’s impossible to imagine how this happens until you experience it yourself.
I see a purpose, but I do not see obstacles
As soon as the sound artist suddenly begins to understand that in fact everything that happens to him is not without meaning, he begins to see clear causes and consequences, his life without a goal finally acquires a long-awaited trajectory, direction instead of unsteady chaos.
The energy that went into nowhere, inward, into endless thinking about what the purpose of my life could be, is released outward, bringing the owner of the sound vector colossal fulfillment, calmness and the long-awaited feeling that everything is not in vain. able to give this knowledge to those who need it. The huge number who touched it indicate that life was divided into before and after.
Life without purpose is an illusion that our brain shows us when we don’t do what we are here for. And changing the polarity is only possible when you know in which direction to work. After all, if there is a desire to understand the purpose of your life, then there are resources for this. Then why waste time?
Proofreader: Natalya Konovalova
The article was written based on training materials “ System-vector psychology»A person’s determination of life goals is one of the main conditions for achieving success. Moreover, it is important not only to set goals, but also to often think that you are able to achieve them and that you will achieve them.
You should not think about obstacles on the way to your goal and imagine ominous darkness. Focus on the fact that achieving each goal can dramatically improve your life. The more you think about how your goals will change your life for the better, the stronger your desire to realize them will be. A natural desire for specific actions will awaken in you.
If a goal inspires you, then you will in any case begin to act towards achieving it. It doesn’t matter how much time you have to implement it, because you like the path itself and the fact that you feel more and more satisfied with yourself. This state encourages you to act actively, so your level of productivity will only increase.
If you are having difficulty choosing your life goals, you can use examples of other people's goals from the list of 100 human life goals.
Read also the article by Gestalt therapist Sergei Smirnov: " " (editor's note)
100 life goals
Personal goals:
- Find your life's work;
- Become a recognized expert in your field;
- Stop drinking and smoking;
- Make many friends and acquaintances around the world;
- Learn to speak 3 languages fluently, except your native one;
- Become a vegetarian;
- Find 1000 followers of your business/blog;
- Wake up every day at 5 am;
- Read a book a week;
- Travel all around the world.
Family Goals:
- Start a family;
- Make your spouse happy;
- Give birth to children;
- Raise children to be worthy members of society;
- Provide education to children;
- Play a children's wedding;
- Celebrate your own silver wedding;
- Babysit grandchildren;
- Celebrate the golden wedding;
- Gathering for the holidays with the whole family.
Financial goals:
- Live without debts and loans;
- Organize passive sources of income;
- Receive a monthly aggregate stable high income;
- Every year increase savings by 1.5-2 times;
- Own property on the seashore;
- Build a dream house;
- Cottage in the forest;
- Every family member has a car;
- Leave a substantial inheritance to your children;
- Regularly help those in need.
Sports goals:
- Get in shape;
- Run a marathon;
- Do the splits;
- Go diving;
- Learn to surf;
- Jump with a parachute;
- Learn martial art;
- Learn horse riding;
- Learn to play golf;
- Do yoga.
Spiritual Goals:
- Learn the art of meditation;
- Read the 100 best books of world literature;
- Read 100 books on personal development;
- Regularly engage in charity work and volunteering;
- Achieve spiritual harmony and wisdom;
- Strengthen your will;
- Learn to enjoy every day;
- Experience and express gratitude every day;
- Learn to achieve your goals;
- Do charity work;
Creative goals:
- Learn to play guitar;
- Learn to draw;
- To write a book;
- Write blog entries every day;
- Decorate the interior of the apartment to your liking;
- Make something useful with your own hands;
- Make your own website;
- Learn public speaking and not experience stage fright;
- Learn to dance and dance at parties;
- Learn to cook deliciously.
Travel destinations:
- Travel around the cities of Italy;
- Relax in Spain;
- Travel to Costa Rica;
- Visit Antarctica;
- Spend a month in Taiga;
- Live 3 months in America;
- Go on a road trip around Europe;
- Go to Thailand for the winter;
- Go on a yoga tour to India;
- Go on a trip around the world on a cruise ship;
Adventure Goals:
- Play in a casino in Las Vegas;
- Fly in a hot air balloon;
- Ride a helicopter;
- Explore the ocean in a submarine;
- Go kayaking;
- Spend a month in a tent camp as a savage;
- Swim with dolphins;
- Visit medieval castles around the world;
- Eat mushrooms from shamans in Mexico;
- Go to a transmusic festival in the forest for a week;
