06.03.2007, 16:12

Suggest questions for discussion

Can you learn from your own mistakes?
Can you take care of your past?
Should we remember the past?
How to get rid of the psychological trauma of childhood?
Is the past a chimera or an integral part of me?
Is the past my life or my dying?
Influence of the past life on the present.
The benefits and harms of past experience
Overcoming the past
Back to the roots
The past as the creator of the present and the future
The past as a brake on self-development

06.03.2007, 16:30

How does he relate to his past with love?
Just like treating with love, well ... let's say ... your knee. You just have it and that's it.

It depends on what you mean by study. There will be some learning anyway. For example, the ability to be afraid of dogs.

If by this we mean maintaining memory in working condition, then yes.
Should we remember the past?
Depends on the situation.

There are many options. Gestalt therapy, NLP, psychoanalysis, craniotomy at last!

An integral part of

This is experience, this is life.

Absolute
The benefits and harms of past experience
The benefits and harms of the knee.
Overcoming the past
elaboration, understanding
Back to the roots

Too many questions for one topic.
:)

Governor

06.03.2007, 16:43

If you depict a person in the space-time continuum, then he will be something similar to a snake. A small tail stretches from the maternity hospital (or where he was born there), penetrating countless times his home, nursery, school, university, various jobs and places of rest, constantly thickening and approaching the head, which represents his current appearance and is in his current location and time.

Now, this whole serpent, except for the tiny head, is in the past. Everything that each of us represents is his past. And I sincerely do not understand those who say that he has no past (hello Sifo and Kryukov). Our serpent crawls, absorbing all new spaces and changing in time. He intersects with thousands of other kites and with himself. To take away his past is to cut off his head. Those. finish him off.

* How does he relate to his past with love?

To treat oneself, one's surroundings, life and people with love means to treat one's and their past with love. After all, we are all space-time snakes. Love not only your head, but also your body and tail, as every real snake does.

* Can you learn from your own mistakes?

Not "mona", but "nuna" (as in a joke). Only very wise people know how to learn (and also) from strangers.

* Is it possible to take care of your past?

By taking care of the present, you are taking care of the past of your future.

* Is it worth remembering the past?

Necessarily. Human memory is arranged in such a way that the brightest and brightest moments are remembered. Those who are not so lucky in life. Whoever remembers evil is in its power.

* How to get rid of the psychological trauma of childhood?

The question is large and complex, lies in the competence of hypnologists, psychotherapists, psychiatrists. Iero, probably, will tell in detail.

* The past - a chimera or my integral part?

Your past is you.

* Is the past my life or my dying?

A life. Dying, death never lies in the past of a living person. Are we all alive?

* Influence of the past life on the present.

Your serpent determined the place and time where you are now, as well as your appearance, the contents of your memory and soul. Could anything have more impact than this?

* The benefits and harms of past experience

The benefit is that this is the richest material for the analysis and synthesis of new solutions, behavior patterns, and error correction. The harm may be that a person overestimates the value of past experience. For example, depressed by constant failures, he refuses new attempts.

* Overcoming the past

The past cannot be overcome. But it can be done. Right now.

* Back to the roots

This is also a separate and large topic. In a nutshell, everyone needs it.

* The past as the creator of the present and the future

See about the space-time serpent.

* The past as a brake on self-development

Yes, it happens. The serpent is stuck in swamps and thickets and cannot move on. But he's not a simple snake - a magical one. He grows. At any moment of time, it grows and it is not at all necessary to pull the stuck body out of the swamps, you can freely pave a new path for the growing body. There are many examples of how people who were on the verge of despair and catastrophe, pulled themselves out by the hair, like Münghausen, and began a new successful life. There would be a desire, but the mechanisms and methods have been worked out for centuries ...

06.03.2007, 17:09

The past is what determines the assessment of the present and what creates the future. Or rather, not the past itself, but the memory of it. And the farther into the memory of the past, the stronger its influence. It can be said that all life collisions, events and accomplishments, the essence is unfinished children's games, unexperienced children's fears, unfulfilled childhood dreams ...
But, as some NLP ers say,

It's never too late to have a happy childhood. And love your own past. For,

You live today exactly as you yourself feel about your past.

blind spot

06.03.2007, 22:46

How does he relate to his past with love?
- What for?

Can you learn from your own mistakes?
- Yes. Usually once is enough.

Can you take care of your past?
- Yes, to compose legends, to decorate.

Should we remember the past?
- Individually. In the circle of friends and joint, nice.

How to get rid of the psychological trauma of childhood?
- The Enelpers know.

Is the past a chimera or an integral part of me?
- My memory through the prism of my current perception and experience.

Is the past my life or my dying?
- Neither one nor the other.

Influence of the past life on the present.
- Definitely there is.

The benefits and harms of past experience
- Why is there a name for negative and interfering beliefs - cockroaches - and there is no analogue for positive ones? Harm in cockroaches, benefit in antonym (conditionally, bees).

Overcoming the past
- Like any overcoming of oneself, it is extremely resource-intensive. There are other options.

Back to the roots
- Traditionally useful.

The past as the creator of the present and the future
- Why how?

The past as a brake on self-development
- It is also its frame. The issue of balancing rigid and flexible structures.

06.03.2007, 22:50

There was such a story. There was a period when I had a lot of free time, I had the opportunity to devote it to reviewing my own life, and I began to remember the past, including the numerous mistakes that had taken place in it. Gradually I realized that I can forgive myself for them, that the experience gained is very nice. Everything turned out to be even very nice, in a short time I restored my self-esteem to a fairly high level. (Before that, it was quite underestimated due to not too pleasant circumstances). Having done all this work, I was sure that now my life would be very easy and simple, but I was wrong. I did not know that indulging in memories, I got bogged down in such a terrible quagmire that it is even difficult to describe. In general, when I again fell into the whirlpool of events, I realized that I was guided in life not better, but worse than before. Dealt with the past, but almost lost the present.
And now I'm thinking - and figs with him, with this past, the less you return to him, the better. Life experience is always different, past experience does not give anything for the present.

Assemblage point

06.03.2007, 22:59

How does he relate to his past with love?

Consciously. Understand and appreciate the precious experience of the past. Let go of the negative and learn to use the positive moments...:)

Can you learn from your own mistakes?

Necessary. We do them in order to learn :)

Can you take care of your past?

I don't really understand the question. ..Probably yes. As about intimate, pleasant moments, which either give us new creative power, or about those indicative moments that teach us, help us to re-realize something again and again, to understand even deeper ...

]Is it worth remembering the past?

Worth as needed.

How to get rid of the psychological trauma of childhood?

By establishing the causes and working through them gradually ...

Is the past a chimera or an integral part of me?

An integral part ... exactly as much as I need :)

Is the past my life or my dying?

This is my story... :)

Influence of the past life on the present.

Constantly. What I am now is the result of the past.

The benefits and harms of past experience

Both options are present ... But in the end, there should be benefit ... even through harm :)

Overcoming the past

Time helps. It teaches and heals.

Back to the roots

"Back to the Future?" :) I'm looking for my return to the Origins in the Future :)

The past as the creator of the present and the future

Partially. But more is just an experience, an application to "my personality", living and developing here and now ...

The past as a brake on self-development

It happens. Some "blocked", not adequately resolved situations ... stupor in the end, phobias and internal conflicts.
Because of them, their hidden influence in the present, and sometimes you have to go into the past - in search of new solutions and revisions of the puzzle ...
In case of a solution, an impetus to further development ...

07.03.2007, 15:38

How does one relate with love to one's past? Loving yourself

Is it possible to learn from your own mistakes? It is possible, and as a rule it happens ....

Can you take care of your past? Yes. Do not remember him with a bad word. Think only of light...

Is it worth remembering the past? Of course!. It's like looking at antiques!

How to get rid of the psychological traumas of childhood? To understand first of all that people inflicted these injuries not from evil, but out of ignorance ... And then try to prevent this yourself!

The past - a chimera or my integral part? This is my life. My past life...

The past is my life or my dying? Life! Light sadness...

The influence of a past life on the present. Very significant. Past joys, past grievances, associations with smells, music... If the first time I went to a restaurant it was very uncomfortable for me, I still can't stand going to restaurants...

Benefits and harms of past experience Benefit ..... We studied, we learned, we learned.
Harm .... there are attachments that prevent us from doing something, fears, negative memories ....

Overcoming the Past Why overcome it? It needs to be respected and used....

Back to basics You mean? Live only in memories? Or always return to the past, to past lovers, to past places of work?

The past as the creator of the present and the future The influence of experience on life is determined....

The past as a brake on self-developmentYes?

08.03.2007, 02:08

How does he treat his past with love? Meditate .., remember only the good, drink for the good ..

Is it possible to learn from your own mistakes? "My years are my wealth"

Can you take care of your past? No

Is it worth remembering the past? "My life, or did you dream about me?"

How to get rid of the psychological trauma of childhood? a. Do not remember the bad ..
b. Contact a psychologist
c. take cold baths more often.

The past - a chimera or my integral part? an integral part of life

Is the past my life or my dying? This is an album with old photographs

The influence of a past life on the present. These are my old clamps and complexes, this is my character and my victories and defeats

I don’t know the benefits and harms of past experience .., there is benefit, there is harm, what more, I find it difficult to say

Getting over the past sometimes you gotta get over yourself

Return to the roots again from the beginning?? no, thank you!

The past as the creator of the present and the future All educational, psychological and experimental material is laid down in the past.

However, not everyone understands and knows where jealousy comes from. I propose an article (found on the Internet. The author is unknown) and discuss the topic. I'm sure it touched every couple. More-less

As a rule, the reasons for jealousy of the past are called a sense of ownership, self-doubt, low self-esteem. Why does a person experience this relationship-destroying feeling? Is there a rational explanation for the causes of jealousy of the past?

Ownership and low self-esteem seem like plausible reasons, but this is a superficial explanation. The reason is much deeper and much more serious. No one doubts that jealousy is a natural feeling, inherent in varying degrees to all of us. Why is it unpleasant for us to know about the past sexual partners of our soulmate? After all, everything is already in the past, your chosen one is completely with you!

It turns out that not completely! Any past experience leaves an imprint in the soul and affects future relationships. This applies equally to both men and women. But, the consequences for women and men are different, due to the fact that the male and female psyche and behavior patterns are different. Consider the difference in the behavior patterns of men and women.

A man, he is a man, not because he has an outwardly noticeable sexual characteristic. A man, first of all, is such because of his psychological model of behavior. The same applies to women. There are, of course, effeminate, weak men, there are strong, tough women, but this is not a rule, these are exceptions. And we won't talk about them here. We will consider classical psychological models. Normal men and women. With their characteristic traits.

So, from the point of view of nature, procreation, a man must spread his genetic material as widely as possible. Simply fertilize as many females as possible (which implies a large number of sexual contacts). At the same time, the more successful a man is (in every sense), the more descendants he will have. This is where the theory of natural selection comes into play. A man seeks sexual contact not at all because he decided to share the rest of his life with his current chosen one, but because nature is designed to enjoy every sexual contact (which leads to the greatest coverage of candidates. Women, on the contrary, rarely experience full pleasure from the first contact). Therefore, a normal man may not experience deep psychological attachment to his sexual partner. A man for a life together is looking for a partner who will seem to him the best in comparison with others.

This is where the hormones come in! Love, there is a deep psychological attachment. At the same time, his previous sexual experience remains in the background, in the background. It does not matter much and does not affect the relationship with the chosen one due to the fact that the previous sex did not carry a psychological burden.

Based on the foregoing, jealousy of a man's past sexual partners is groundless. What can not be said about jealousy of men who had a serious relationship before you.

Now about women. In the female model of behavior, nature has laid down the choice of the best male of all! And it's not just words. Your children should get the best genes. Inherit the success of their parents. It is logical that the best (most successful) man will choose the best of all. And their children will gather in themselves all the best qualities of both.

A woman cannot afford to sleep with just anyone (I repeat, we are talking about mentally normal women. We are not talking about deviations, which, of course, are there). Thus, every sexual partner of a woman is the best for her at the moment when this happens. Each of her partners in the moment before intimacy surpasses all others and naturally leaves a deep psychological mark on her soul. This is the fundamental difference between women and men!

Now let's move on to the main thing.

Why did nature instill in us a seemingly destructive feeling - jealousy for the past?

The answer is simple. Precisely because of the destructiveness of this feeling!

Nature has taken care of the destruction of the couple's union, where past stories can affect the development of offspring. This is very rational from the point of view of nature! A strong, successful male should not raise offspring that may not be related to him, and a female cannot expect the full return from a male who already had a strong bond! But, nevertheless, we are not animals and there is a second reason for jealousy at the level of conscious perception.

The second reason for jealousy of a woman's past partners is very strong. As we have already discussed above, every sexual partner of a normal woman, at some point, was the Best for her! If there were several such, the best, then each of them, most likely, was the best in his own way. For example, Peter was very smart, Fedor was rich, Anatoly was incredibly strong in sex, Grigory was cheerful, etc. The more there were, the more difficult it was to "squeeze" into this team of champions. And let's not fool ourselves, better than the previous ones, none of the next ones will be! It remains to be content to stand out in this honorable rank, with some kind of good quality. You need to admit to yourself that you will never become the one and only for your chosen one.

So we sorted out the nature of the appearance of jealousy of the past. In principle, it is the same for both women and men. Only with the proviso that for men it is not casual sex that matters, but only a deep psychological attachment to a previous partner. And for women, any sexual partner is one.

And what to do with it?

In general, the meaning of all advice comes down to "understand and forgive." And from myself I can advise this: years will pass, and one day you will understand that life is really too short to torture yourself with this jealousy. Nobody can change the past. So why ruin your mood and worry about something you can't control? Think about whether you love your chosen one? Love is, in a sense, self-sacrifice. You donate your time, health, sometimes even life in favor of the object of love. Do you wish the best for him? You must understand that good for your loved one does not mean good for you! If you agree with this, then you will try to do everything to make your beloved (beloved) happy.

If you can’t come to terms with the understanding that you are not the best and only one for your chosen one, then this means that you love yourself more! And such an alliance is doomed to break. The sooner it happens, the better for you.

1) The problem of historical memory (responsibility for the bitter and terrible consequences of the past)
The problem of responsibility, national and human, was one of the central ones in literature in the middle of the 20th century. For example, A.T. Tvardovsky in the poem “By the Right of Memory” calls for a rethinking of the sad experience of totalitarianism. The same theme is revealed in A.A. Akhmatova's poem "Requiem". The verdict on the state system based on injustice and lies is passed by A.I. Solzhenitsyn in the story “One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich”
2) The problem of preserving ancient monuments and respect for them .
The problem of careful attitude to cultural heritage has always remained in the center of general attention. In the difficult post-revolutionary period, when the change of the political system was accompanied by the overthrow of the old values, Russian intellectuals did everything possible to save cultural relics. For example, Academician D.S. Likhachev prevented Nevsky Prospekt from being built up with typical high-rise buildings. The estates of Kuskovo and Abramtsevo were restored at the expense of Russian cinematographers. Caring for ancient monuments distinguishes Tula residents: the appearance of the historical center of the city, the church, the Kremlin is preserved.
The conquerors of antiquity burned books and destroyed monuments in order to deprive the people of historical memory.
3) The problem of attitude to the past, loss of memory, roots.
“Disrespect for ancestors is the first sign of immorality” (A.S. Pushkin). Chingiz Aitmatov called a man, who does not remember his kinship, who lost his memory, mankurt (“Stormy stop”). Mankurt is a man forcibly deprived of memory. This is a slave who has no past. He does not know who he is, where he comes from, does not know his name, does not remember childhood, father and mother - in a word, he does not realize himself as a human being. Such a subhuman is dangerous for society - the writer warns.
Quite recently, on the eve of the great Victory Day, young people were asked on the streets of our city if they knew about the beginning and end of the Great Patriotic War, about who we fought, who G. Zhukov was ... The answers were depressing: the younger generation does not know the dates of the start of the war, the names of the commanders, many have not heard about the Battle of Stalingrad, about the Kursk Bulge ...
The problem of forgetting the past is very serious. A person who does not respect history, who does not honor his ancestors, is the same mankurt. One would like to remind these young people the piercing cry from the legend of Ch. Aitmatov: “Remember, whose are you? What is your name?"
4) The problem of a false goal in life.
“A person needs not three arshins of land, not a farmstead, but the entire globe. All nature, where in the open space he could show all the properties of a free spirit, ”wrote A.P. Chekhov. Life without purpose is a meaningless existence. But the goals are different, such as, for example, in the story "Gooseberry". His hero - Nikolai Ivanovich Chimsha-Gimalaysky - dreams of acquiring his estate and planting gooseberries there. This goal consumes him entirely. As a result, he reaches it, but at the same time he almost loses his human appearance (“he has become fat, flabby ... - just look, he will grunt in a blanket”). A false goal, fixation on the material, narrow, limited disfigures a person. He needs constant movement, development, excitement, improvement for life ...
I. Bunin in the story "The Gentleman from San Francisco" showed the fate of a man who served false values. Wealth was his god, and that god he worshipped. But when the American millionaire died, it turned out that true happiness passed by the person: he died without knowing what life is.
5) Meaning human life. Search for a life path.
The image of Oblomov (I.A. Goncharov) is the image of a man who wanted to achieve a lot in life. He wanted to change his life, he wanted to rebuild the life of the estate, he wanted to raise children ... But he did not have the strength to realize these desires, so his dreams remained dreams.
M. Gorky in the play "At the Bottom" showed the drama of "former people" who have lost the strength to fight for themselves. They hope for something good, they understand that they need to live better, but they do nothing to change their fate. It is no coincidence that the action of the play begins in the rooming house and ends there.
N. Gogol, the exposer of human vices, is persistently looking for a living human soul. Depicting Plyushkin, who has become "a hole in the body of mankind", he passionately urges the reader, who enters adulthood, to take with him all the "human movements", not to lose them on the road of life.
Life is a movement along an endless road. Some travel along it “with official necessity”, asking questions: why did I live, for what purpose was I born? ("Hero of our time"). Others are frightened of this road, run to their wide sofa, because “life touches everywhere, gets it” (“Oblomov”). But there are also those who, making mistakes, doubting, suffering, rise to the heights of truth, finding their spiritual “I”. One of them - Pierre Bezukhov - the hero of the epic novel by L.N. Tolstoy "War and Peace".
At the beginning of his journey, Pierre is far from the truth: he admires Napoleon, is involved in the company of “golden youth”, participates in hooligan antics along with Dolokhov and Kuragin, too easily succumbs to rough flattery, the cause of which is his huge fortune. One stupidity is followed by another: marriage to Helen, a duel with Dolokhov ... And as a result - a complete loss of the meaning of life. “What's wrong? What well? What should you love and what should you hate? Why live and what am I? - these questions are countless times scrolled in my head until a sober understanding of life comes. On the way to it, there is the experience of Freemasonry, and observation of ordinary soldiers in the Battle of Borodino, and a meeting in captivity with the folk philosopher Platon Karataev. Only love moves the world and a person lives - Pierre Bezukhov comes to this thought, finding his spiritual “I”.
6) Self-sacrifice. Love for your neighbor. Compassion and mercy. Sensitivity.
In one of the books devoted to the Great Patriotic War, a former blockade survivor recalls that during a terrible famine, he, a dying teenager, was saved by a neighbor who brought a can of stew sent by his son from the front. “I am already old, and you are young, you still have to live and live,” said this man. He soon died, and the boy he saved kept a grateful memory of him for the rest of his life.
The tragedy occurred in the Krasnodar Territory. A fire started in a nursing home where sick old people lived. Among the 62 who were burned alive was 53-year-old nurse Lidia Pachintseva, who was on duty that night. When a fire broke out, she took the old people by the arms, brought them to the windows and helped them escape. But she didn’t save herself - she didn’t have time.
M. Sholokhov has a wonderful story "The Fate of Man". It tells about the tragic fate of a soldier who lost all his relatives during the war. One day he met an orphan boy and decided to call himself his father. This act suggests that love and the desire to do good give a person the strength to live, the strength to resist fate.
7) The problem of indifference. Callous and callous attitude towards a person.
“People who are satisfied with themselves”, accustomed to comfort, people with small property interests - the same heroes of Chekhov, “people in cases”. This is Dr. Startsev in "Ionych", and teacher Belikov in "The Man in the Case". Let us remember how “chubby, red” Dmitry Ionych Startsev rides on a troika with bells, and his coachman Panteleimon, “also plump and red”, shouts: “Hold on!” “Hold on right” - this is, after all, detachment from human troubles and problems. On their prosperous path of life there should be no obstacles. And in Belikovsky's "no matter how it happens" we see only an indifferent attitude to the problems of other people. The spiritual impoverishment of these heroes is obvious. And they are not intellectuals at all, but simply - philistines, townsfolk who imagine themselves to be "masters of life."
8) The problem of friendship, comradely duty.
Front-line service is an almost legendary expression; there is no doubt that there is no stronger and more devoted friendship between people. There are many literary examples of this. In Gogol's story "Taras Bulba" one of the characters exclaims: "There are no bonds brighter than comrades!" But most often this topic was revealed in the literature about the Great Patriotic War. In B. Vasiliev's story “The Dawns Here Are Quiet…”, both the anti-aircraft gunners and Captain Vaskov live according to the laws of mutual assistance, responsibility for each other. In K. Simonov's novel The Living and the Dead, Captain Sintsov carries a wounded comrade out of the battlefield.
9) The problem of scientific progress.
In M. Bulgakov's story, Doctor Preobrazhensky turns a dog into a man. Scientists are driven by a thirst for knowledge, the desire to change nature. But sometimes progress turns into terrible consequences: a two-legged creature with a "dog's heart" is not yet a person, because there is no soul in him, no love, honor, nobility.
The press reported that very soon there will be an elixir of immortality. Death will be finally defeated. But for many people, this news did not cause a surge of joy; on the contrary, anxiety intensified. How will this immortality turn out for a person?
10) The problem of the patriarchal village way of life. The problem of charm, morally healthy beauty
village life.
In Russian literature, the theme of the village and the theme of the motherland were often combined. Rural life has always been perceived as the most serene, natural. One of the first to express this idea was Pushkin, who called the village his office. ON THE. Nekrasov in a poem and poems drew the reader's attention not only to the poverty of peasant huts, but also to how friendly peasant families are, how hospitable Russian women are. A lot is said about the originality of the farmstead way of life in Sholokhov's epic novel "Quiet Flows the Don". In Rasputin's story "Farewell to Matyora", the ancient village is endowed with historical memory, the loss of which is tantamount to death for the inhabitants.
11) The problem of labor. The pleasure of meaningful activity.
The theme of labor has been repeatedly developed in Russian classical and modern literature. As an example, it is enough to recall the novel by I.A. Goncharov “Oblomov”. The hero of this work, Andrei Stoltz, sees the meaning of life not as a result of labor, but in the process itself. We see a similar example in Solzhenitsyn's story "Matryonin's Dvor". His heroine does not perceive forced labor as a punishment, punishment - she treats work as an integral part of existence.
12) The problem of the influence of laziness on a person.
Chekhov's essay "My" she "lists all the terrible consequences of the influence of laziness on people.
13) The problem of the future of Russia.
The topic of the future of Russia was touched upon by many poets and writers. For example, Nikolai Vasilyevich Gogol in a lyrical digression of the poem "Dead Souls" compares Russia with "a lively, unbeatable troika". “Rus, where are you going?” he asks. But the author has no answer to the question. The poet Eduard Asadov in the poem “Russia did not begin with a sword” writes: “The dawn rises, bright and hot. And it will be so forever indestructible. Russia did not begin with a sword, and therefore it is invincible! He is sure that a great future awaits Russia, and nothing can stop it.
14) The problem of the influence of art on a person.
Scientists and psychologists have long argued that music can have a different effect on the nervous system, on the tone of a person. It is generally accepted that the works of Bach increase and develop the intellect. Beethoven's music awakens compassion, cleanses a person's thoughts and feelings of negativity. Schumann helps to understand the soul of a child.
Dmitri Shostakovich's Seventh Symphony has the subtitle "Leningradskaya". But the name "Legendary" suits her better. The fact is that when the Nazis besieged Leningrad, the inhabitants of the city had a huge impact on the 7th symphony of Dmitry Shostakovich, which, as eyewitnesses testify, gave people new strength to fight the enemy.
15) The problem of anticulture.
This problem is relevant even today. Now there is a dominance of “soap operas” on television, which significantly reduce the level of our culture. Literature is another example. Well the theme of "deculturation" is revealed in the novel "The Master and Margarita". MASSOLIT employees write bad works and at the same time dine in restaurants and have dachas. They are admired and their literature revered.
16) The problem of modern television.
In Moscow long time operated by a gang that was distinguished by particular cruelty. When the criminals were caught, they admitted that their behavior, their attitude to the world was greatly influenced by the American film Natural Born Killers, which they watched almost every day. They tried to copy the habits of the heroes of this picture in real life.
Many modern athletes watched TV when they were children and wanted to be like the athletes of their time. Through television broadcasts, they got acquainted with the sport and its heroes. Of course, there are also reverse cases, when a person became addicted to the TV, and he had to be treated in special clinics.
17) The problem of clogging the Russian language.
I believe that the use of foreign words in the native language is justified only if there is no equivalent. Many of our writers struggled with the clogging of the Russian language with borrowings. M. Gorky pointed out: “It makes it difficult for our reader to stick foreign words into a Russian phrase. It makes no sense to write concentration when we have our own good word - condensation.
Admiral A.S. Shishkov, who for some time held the post of Minister of Education, proposed replacing the word fountain with a clumsy synonym he invented - a water cannon. Practicing in word creation, he invented replacements for borrowed words: he suggested speaking instead of alley - prosad, billiards - ball rolling, replacing the cue with balls, and calling the library a bookkeeper. To replace the word he did not like galoshes, he came up with another - wet shoes. Such concern for the purity of the language can cause nothing but laughter and irritation of contemporaries.
18) The problem of the destruction of natural resources.
If the press began to write about the misfortune threatening mankind only in the last ten or fifteen years, then Ch. Aitmatov spoke about this problem back in the 70s in his story "After the Fairy Tale" ("The White Steamboat"). He showed the destructiveness, the hopelessness of the path, if a person destroys nature. It takes revenge by degeneration, lack of spirituality. The same theme is continued by the writer in his subsequent works: "And the day lasts longer than a century" ("Stormy Stop"), "Blach", "Cassandra's Brand".
A particularly strong feeling is produced by the novel "The Scaffolding Block". Using the example of a wolf family, the author showed the death of wildlife from human economic activity. And how scary it becomes when you see that, when compared with a person, predators look more humane and "humane" than the "crown of creation." So for the sake of what good in the future does a person bring his children to the chopping block?
19) Imposing your opinion on others.
Vladimir Vladimirovich Nabokov. “A lake, a cloud, a tower…” The protagonist, Vasily Ivanovich, is a modest office worker who won a pleasure trip to nature.
20) The theme of war in literature.
Very often, congratulating our friends or relatives, we wish them a peaceful sky over their heads. We do not want their families to be subjected to the hardships of the war. War! These five letters carry a sea of ​​blood, tears, suffering, and most importantly, the death of people dear to our hearts. There have always been wars on our planet. The pain of loss has always filled the hearts of people. From everywhere where there is a war, you can hear the groans of mothers, the crying of children and deafening explosions that tear our souls and hearts. To our great happiness, we know about the war only from feature films and literary works.
A lot of trials of the war fell on the lot of our country. At the beginning of the 19th century, Russia was shaken by the Patriotic War of 1812. The patriotic spirit of the Russian people was shown by L. N. Tolstoy in his epic novel War and Peace. The guerrilla war, the Battle of Borodino - all this and much more appears before our eyes. We are witnessing the terrible everyday life of the war. Tolstoy tells that for many the war has become the most common thing. They (for example, Tushin) perform heroic deeds on the battlefields, but they themselves do not notice this. For them, war is a job that they must do in good faith. But war can become commonplace not only on the battlefield. An entire city can get used to the idea of ​​war and go on living resigned to it. Such a city in 1855 was Sevastopol. L. N. Tolstoy narrates about the difficult months of the defense of Sevastopol in his “Sevastopol stories”. Here, the events taking place are described especially reliably, since Tolstoy is their eyewitness. And after what he saw and heard in a city full of blood and pain, he set himself a definite goal - to tell his reader only the truth - and nothing but the truth. The bombardment of the city did not stop. New and new fortifications were required. Sailors, soldiers worked in the snow, rain, half-starved, half-dressed, but they still worked. And here everyone is simply amazed by the courage of their spirit, willpower, great patriotism. Together with them, their wives, mothers, and children lived in this city. They got so used to the situation in the city that they no longer paid attention to either the shots or the explosions. Very often they brought meals to their husbands right in the bastions, and one shell could often destroy the whole family. Tolstoy shows us that the worst thing in war happens in the hospital: “You will see doctors there with bloodied hands to the elbows ... busy near the bed, on which, with open eyes and speaking, as if in delirium, meaningless, sometimes simple and touching words lies wounded under the influence of chloroform.” For Tolstoy, war is dirt, pain, violence, whatever goals it pursues: “... you will see the war not in the correct, beautiful and brilliant order, with music and its real expression - in blood, in suffering, in death ... ”The heroic defense of Sevastopol in 1854-1855 once again shows everyone how much the Russian people love their Motherland and how boldly they defend it. Sparing no effort, using any means, he (the Russian people) does not allow the enemy to seize their native land.
In 1941-1942, the defense of Sevastopol will be repeated. But it will be another Great Patriotic War - 1941-1945. In this war against fascism, the Soviet people will accomplish an extraordinary feat, which we will always remember. M. Sholokhov, K. Simonov, B. Vasiliev and many other writers devoted their works to the events of the Great Patriotic War. This difficult time is also characterized by the fact that women fought on an equal footing with men in the ranks of the Red Army. And even the fact that they are representatives of the weaker sex did not stop them. They struggled with fear within themselves and performed such heroic deeds, which, it seemed, were completely unusual for women. It is about such women that we learn from the pages of B. Vasilyev's story “The Dawns Here Are Quiet...”. Five girls and their combat commander F. Baskov find themselves on the Sinyukhin Ridge with sixteen fascists who are heading for the railroad, absolutely sure that no one knows about the course of their operation. Our fighters found themselves in a difficult situation: it is impossible to retreat, but to stay, because the Germans serve them like seeds. But there is no way out! Behind the Motherland! And now these girls perform a fearless feat. At the cost of their lives, they stop the enemy and prevent him from carrying out his terrible plans. And how carefree was the life of these girls before the war?! They studied, worked, enjoyed life. And suddenly! Planes, tanks, cannons, shots, screams, groans... But they did not break down and gave the most precious thing they had - their lives - for victory. They gave their lives for their country.
But there is a civil war on earth, in which a person can give his life without knowing why. 1918 Russia. Brother kills brother, father kills son, son kills father. Everything is mixed up in the fire of malice, everything is depreciated: love, kinship, human life. M. Tsvetaeva writes: Brothers, here is the extreme rate! For the third year now, Abel has been fighting with Cain ...
People become weapons in the hands of the authorities. Breaking into two camps, friends become enemies, relatives become forever strangers. I. Babel, A. Fadeev and many others tell about this difficult time.
I. Babel served in the ranks of the First Cavalry Army of Budyonny. There he kept his diary, which later turned into the now famous work “Cavalry”. The stories of Cavalry tell about a man who found himself in the fire of the Civil War. The main character Lyutov tells us about individual episodes of the campaign of the First Cavalry Army of Budyonny, which was famous for its victories. But on the pages of stories we do not feel the victorious spirit. We see the cruelty of the Red Army, their cold-bloodedness and indifference. They can kill an old Jew without the slightest hesitation, but, what is more terrible, they can finish off their wounded comrade without a second's hesitation. But what is all this for? I. Babel did not give an answer to this question. He leaves his reader the right to speculate.
The theme of war in Russian literature has been and remains relevant. Writers try to convey to readers the whole truth, whatever it may be.
From the pages of their works, we learn that war is not only the joy of victories and the bitterness of defeat, but war is a harsh everyday life filled with blood, pain, and violence. The memory of these days will live in our memory forever. Perhaps the day will come when the groans and cries of mothers, volleys and shots will subside on earth, when our earth will meet the day without war!
The turning point in the Great Patriotic War occurred during the Battle of Stalingrad, when “a Russian soldier was ready to tear a bone from a skeleton and go against a fascist with it” (A. Platonov). The unity of the people in the “time of grief”, their steadfastness, courage, daily heroism - this is the true reason for victory. Y. Bondarev's novel "Hot Snow" reflects the most tragic moments of the war, when Manstein's brutalized tanks rush to the group surrounded in Stalingrad. Young gunners, yesterday's boys, are holding back the onslaught of the Nazis with superhuman efforts. The sky was blood-smoked, the snow melted from bullets, the ground burned under their feet, but the Russian soldier survived - he did not allow the tanks to break through. For this feat, General Bessonov, defying all conventions, without award papers, presents orders and medals to the remaining soldiers. “What can I do, what can I do…” he says bitterly, approaching another soldier. The general could, but the authorities? Why does the state remember the people only in tragic moments of history?
The problem of the moral strength of a simple soldier
The bearer of people's morality in the war is, for example, Valega, the orderly of Lieutenant Kerzhentsev from V. Nekrasov's story "In the trenches of Stalingrad." He is barely literate, confuses the multiplication table, will not really explain what socialism is, but for his homeland, for his comrades, for a rickety hut in Altai, for Stalin, whom he has never seen, he will fight to the last bullet. And the cartridges will run out - fists, teeth. Sitting in a trench, he will scold the foreman more than the Germans. And it will come to the point - he will show these Germans where the crayfish hibernate.
The expression "people's character" most of all corresponds to Valega. He went to war as a volunteer, quickly adapted to the hardships of war, because his peaceful peasant life was not honey either. In between fights, he does not sit idle for a minute. He knows how to cut, shave, mend boots, build a fire in the pouring rain, darn socks. Can catch fish, pick berries, mushrooms. And he does everything silently, quietly. A simple peasant boy who is only eighteen years old. Kerzhentsev is sure that such a soldier as Valega will never betray, will not leave the wounded on the battlefield and will beat the enemy mercilessly.
The problem of the heroic everyday life of war
The heroic everyday life of war is an oxymoron metaphor that unites the incompatible. War ceases to seem like something out of the ordinary. Get used to death. Only sometimes it will amaze with its suddenness. There is such an episode in V. Nekrasov (“In the trenches of Stalingrad”): a dead soldier lies on his back, arms outstretched, and a smoking cigarette butt stuck to his lip. A minute ago there was still life, thoughts, desires, now - death. And to see this to the hero of the novel is simply unbearable...
But even in war, soldiers do not live by “a single bullet”: in their short hours of rest, they sing, write letters, and even read. As for the heroes of In the Trenches of Stalingrad, Karnaukhov is read by Jack London, the division commander also loves Martin Eden, someone draws, someone writes poetry. The Volga is foaming from shells and bombs, and the people on the shore do not change their spiritual predilections. Perhaps that is why the Nazis did not succeed in crushing them, throwing them back across the Volga, and drying up their souls and minds.
21) The theme of the Motherland in literature.
Lermontov in the poem "Motherland" says that he loves his native land, but cannot explain why and why.
It is impossible not to start with such a great monument of ancient Russian literature as "The Tale of Igor's Campaign". To the Russian land as a whole, to the Russian people, all thoughts, all feelings of the author of the “Word ...” are turned. He speaks about the vast expanses of his Motherland, about its rivers, mountains, steppes, cities, villages. But the Russian land for the author of “Words...” is not only Russian nature and Russian cities. This is primarily the Russian people. Narrating about the campaign of Igor, the author does not forget about the Russian people. Igor undertook a campaign against the Polovtsy “for the Russian land”. His warriors are “Rusichi”, Russian sons. Crossing the border of Russia, they say goodbye to their homeland, to the Russian land, and the author exclaims: “O Russian land! You're over the hill."
In a friendly message "To Chaadaev" the fiery appeal of the poet to the Motherland to dedicate "the souls of beautiful impulses" sounds.
22) The theme of nature and man in Russian literature.
The modern writer V. Rasputin stated: "To speak today about ecology means to speak not about changing life, but about saving it." Unfortunately, the state of our ecology is very catastrophic. This is manifested in the depletion of flora and fauna. Further, the author says that "there is a gradual addiction to danger," that is, a person does not notice how serious the current situation is. Let us recall the problem connected with the Aral Sea. The bottom of the Aral Sea was so bare that the coast from the seaports went for tens of kilometers. The climate has changed dramatically, the extinction of animals has occurred. All these troubles have greatly affected the lives of people living in the Aral Sea. Over the past two decades, the Aral Sea has lost half of its volume and more than a third of its area. The bare bottom of a huge area turned into a desert, which became known as Aralkum. In addition, the Aral contains millions of tons of poisonous salts. This problem cannot but excite people. In the eighties, expeditions were organized to solve the problems and causes of the death of the Aral Sea. Doctors, scientists, writers reflected and researched the materials of these expeditions.
V. Rasputin in the article "In the fate of nature - our fate" reflects on the relationship of man with the environment. “Today there is no need to guess, “whose groan is heard over the great Russian river.” Then the Volga itself groans, dug up and down, constricted by hydroelectric dams,” the author writes. Looking at the Volga, you especially understand the price of our civilization, that is, the benefits that man has created for himself. It seems that everything that was possible has been defeated, even the future of mankind.
The problem of the relationship between a person and the environment is also raised by the modern writer Ch. Aitmatov in his work "The Block". He showed how a man destroys the colorful world of nature with his own hands.
The novel begins with a description of the life of a wolf pack, which lives quietly until the appearance of man. He literally demolishes and destroys everything in his path, not thinking about the surrounding nature. The reason for such cruelty was only the difficulties with the meat delivery plan. People mocked the saigas: "Fear reached such proportions that the she-wolf Akbara, deaf from the shots, thought that the whole world was deaf, and the sun itself was also rushing about and looking for salvation..." Akbara's children die in this tragedy, but this is her sorrow does not end. Further, the author writes that people started a fire in which five more Akbara wolf cubs die. For the sake of their goals, people could "gut the globe like a pumpkin", not suspecting that nature would also take revenge on them sooner or later. A lonely she-wolf reaches out to people, wants to transfer her maternal love to a human child. It turned out to be a tragedy, but this time for the people. A man in a fit of fear and hatred for the incomprehensible behavior of a she-wolf shoots at her, but hits his own son.
This example speaks of the barbaric attitude of people to nature, to everything that surrounds us. I wish there were more caring and kind people in our lives.
Academician D. Likhachev wrote: "Humanity spends billions not only not to suffocate, not to perish, but also to preserve the nature around us." Of course, everyone is well aware of the healing power of nature. I think that a person should become both its owner, and its protector, and its smart transformer. A slow-moving river, a birch grove, a restless bird world ... We will not harm them, but we will try to protect them.
In this century, man is actively invading the natural processes of the Earth's shells: extracting millions of tons of minerals, destroying thousands of hectares of forests, polluting the waters of seas and rivers, and emitting toxic substances into the atmosphere. Water pollution has become one of the most important environmental problems of the century. A sharp deterioration in the quality of water in rivers and lakes cannot and will not affect people's health, especially in areas with a dense population. The environmental consequences of accidents at nuclear power plants are sad. The echo of Chernobyl swept through the entire European part of Russia, and will affect people's health for a long time to come.
Thus, as a result of economic activity, a person causes great damage to nature, and at the same time to his health. How then can a person build his relationship with nature? Each person in his activity should carefully treat all life on Earth, not tear himself away from nature, not strive to rise above it, but remember that he is part of it.
23) Man and state.
Zamyatin “We” people are numbers. We only had 2 free hours.
The problem of the artist and power
The problem of the artist and power in Russian literature is perhaps one of the most painful. It is marked by a special tragedy in the history of literature of the twentieth century. A. Akhmatova, M. Tsvetaeva, O. Mandelstam, M. Bulgakov, B. Pasternak, M. Zoshchenko, A. Solzhenitsyn (the list can be continued) - each of them felt the “care” of the state, and each reflected it in his work. One Zhdanov decree of August 14, 1946 could have crossed out the writer's biography of A. Akhmatova and M. Zoshchenko. B. Pasternak created the novel "Doctor Zhivago" during the period of severe government pressure on the writer, during the struggle against cosmopolitanism. The persecution of the writer resumed with particular force after he was awarded the Nobel Prize for the novel. The Union of Writers expelled Pasternak from its ranks, presenting him as an internal emigrant, a person who discredits the worthy title of a Soviet writer. And this is for the fact that the poet told the people the truth about the tragic fate of the Russian intellectual, doctor, poet Yuri Zhivago.
Creativity is the only way of immortality of the creator. “For the authorities, for the livery, do not bend either conscience, or thoughts, or neck” - this is the testament of A.S. Pushkin (“From Pindemonti”) became decisive in choosing the creative path of true artists.
The problem of emigration
The feeling of bitterness does not leave when people leave their homeland. Some are forcibly expelled, others leave on their own due to some circumstances, but not one of them forgets his Fatherland, the house where he was born, his native land. For example, I.A. Bunin's story "Mowers", written in 1921. This story, it would seem, is about an insignificant event: the Ryazan mowers who came to the Oryol region are walking in a birch forest, mow and sing. But it was in this insignificant moment that Bunin managed to discern the immeasurable and distant, connected with all of Russia. The small space of the narrative is filled with radiant light, wonderful sounds and viscous smells, and the result is not a story, but a bright lake, some kind of Svetloyar, in which all of Russia is reflected. Not without reason, during the reading of "Kostsov" by Bunin in Paris at a literary evening (there were two hundred people), according to the memoirs of the writer's wife, many cried. It was a cry for the lost Russia, a nostalgic feeling for the Motherland. Bunin lived in exile most of his life, but wrote only about Russia.
The emigrant of the third wave, S. Dovlatov, leaving the USSR, took with him the only suitcase, “old, plywood, covered with cloth, tied with a clothesline,” - he went with him to the pioneer camp. There were no treasures in it: a double-breasted suit lay on top, a poplin shirt underneath, then, in turn, a winter hat, Finnish crepe socks, driver's gloves and an officer's belt. These things became the basis for short stories, memories of the homeland. They have no material value, they are signs of a priceless, absurd in their own way, but the only life. Eight things - eight stories, and each - a kind of report on the past Soviet life. A life that will remain forever with the emigrant Dovlatov.
The problem of the intelligentsia
According to academician D.S. Likhachev, "the basic principle of intelligence is intellectual freedom, freedom as a moral category." An intelligent person is not free only from his conscience. The title of an intellectual in Russian literature is deservedly carried by the heroes of B. Pasternak (“Doctor Zhivago”) and Y. Dombrovsky (“Faculty of Useless Things”). Neither Zhivago nor Zybin compromised with their own conscience. They do not accept violence in any manifestation, be it the Civil War or Stalin's repressions. There is another type of Russian intellectual who betrays this high title. One of them is the hero of Y. Trifonov's story "Exchange" Dmitriev. His mother is seriously ill, his wife offers to exchange two rooms for a separate apartment, although the relationship between the daughter-in-law and mother-in-law was not in the best way. Dmitriev is initially indignant, criticizing his wife for lack of spirituality, philistinism, but then agrees with her, believing that she is right. There are more and more things in the apartment, food, expensive headsets: the density of everyday life is growing, things are replacing spiritual life. In this regard, another work comes to mind - "Suitcase" by S. Dovlatov. Most likely, the “suitcase” with rags taken by the journalist S. Dovlatov to America would have caused Dmitriev and his wife only a feeling of disgust. At the same time, for the hero Dovlatov, things have no material value, they are a reminder of past youth, friends, and creative searches.
24) The problem of fathers and children.
The problem of difficult relationships between parents and children is reflected in the literature. L.N. Tolstoy, I.S. Turgenev, and A.S. Pushkin wrote about this. I want to turn to A. Vampilov's play "The Elder Son", where the author shows the attitude of children towards their father. Both the son and the daughter frankly consider their father a loser, an eccentric, they are indifferent to his experiences and feelings. The father silently endures everything, finds excuses for all the ungrateful deeds of the children, asks them only one thing: not to leave him alone. The protagonist of the play sees how someone else's family is being destroyed before his eyes, and sincerely tries to help the kindest man-father. His intervention helps to survive a difficult period in the relationship of children to a loved one.
25) The problem of quarrels. Human enmity.
In Pushkin's story "Dubrovsky", a casually thrown word led to enmity and many troubles for former neighbors. In Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet, the family feud ended in the death of the main characters.
“The Word of Igor's Campaign” Svyatoslav utters the “golden word”, condemning Igor and Vsevolod, who violated feudal obedience, which led to a new attack of the Polovtsy on Russian lands.
26) Caring for the beauty of the native land.
In Vasiliev's novel "Don't Shoot the White Swans"

Natalya Kaptsova

Reading time: 8 minutes

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Not every woman is able to wisely relate to the past of her partner - that is, to accept his past as a past stage of life, and nothing more. Often the opposite happens - the past of a loved one (especially love in his past) becomes the cause of jealousy, suspicion and, as a result, the collapse of the love boat.

How to learn to live in the present and cope with the "green" feeling?

Jealousy for the former passion of a partner

Jealousy as a feeling all-consuming and completely blocking the ability to think clearly , covers with his head, as soon as information about the "former" accidentally pops up in a conversation with a partner.

Even a casually thrown phrase - “I don’t want to go to this cafe, Katya and I dined there all the time” can be the beginning of a whole detective story - with digging social networks for his communication with the former, viewing his mail and messages, annoying thoughts about the fact that he also hugged the former, loved, drove to restaurants and introduced him to relatives.

Accept the fact that another woman once occupied as much space in his life like you are now - almost impossible.

How to deal with such jealousy?

• Your partner's past has nothing to do with you no relation.
• When you start an "investigation" get into someone else's personal zone and kindle that fire of conflict between you, which then you will not be able to extinguish.
• If you are aware of your heightened sense of jealousy (possession), ignore all the details of the past your partner. "Digging" in other people's relationships will not add confidence in your relationship.
• Stop fighting "chimeras". Live in the present.
• Admit your jealousy and learn to control it.
• If the partner chose you, then he is happy with you, and former love is just one of the turned pages of his life.
• Jealousy is a signal that you don't trust your partner. If you are sure of it, then there is no need to be afraid of the shadows of the past (and the present too). And if you don’t trust, then it makes sense to think about whether your relationship is so strong? Read also:

Jealousy of all women in the partner's past

For some women, even the thought that partner's hands were touching someone else , unbearable. And, it seems, a man is far from being a “nerd” of 18 years old, and female attention to him is a completely normal phenomenon, a woman is pissed off by the fact that he could be loved by someone else.

How to deal with such an all-consuming feeling?

• If your partner is an accomplished adult attractive man, realize that there were women in his life before you appeared. It would be strange if your partner sat all his life in a high tower and waited for you to appear. He is a man, and his bachelor life involves meetings, relationships, the search for a partner.
• Accidental (and even intentional) mention of former women - no reason to explode and look for a secret meaning in words and deeds. Jealousy always brings discord into relationships, and pathological jealousy - even more so.
• Are you afraid that your partner's connection with the past is too strong? Analyze the situation. Do you have real grounds for jealousy? If there is nothing but your fantasies, you should calm down and switch to strengthening your relationship (and not to destruction). If real “bells” from the past unbalance you, it’s time to talk with your loved one. Otherwise, an avalanche of distrust and unresolved issues from the past will one day bury your relationship.
• Remember: you have no right to blame your partner for his old romances. And you, for sure, also had meetings and relationships before him.
• Your relationship is life with a clean slate which automatically leaves the past where it belongs. And sincere love does not know jealousy.

Jealousy for partner's children

A fairly common type of jealousy, which, as a rule, has two "faces" .

• First: jealousy towards children . More precisely, anger from the fact that the children "fall" the attention that aimlessly should belong to you.
• Second: jealousy of the mother of his children . Each of his trips to his ex-wife in order to see his children is perceived with hostility - “What if he still loves her?”, “And if she tries to return him?”, “Maybe the children are just an excuse to see her?” .

How to deal with such a two-headed "serpent"?

• First, understand that Husband and wife are forever bound together by their children. Even if they parted a long time ago, they participate in their lives on equal rights (and duties).
• Love for your children and love for a woman is concept of different nature. The desire of a man to communicate with his children, despite the divorce from their mother, speaks of his decency, reliability and love for children. There would be reason to think and be wary if everything happened the other way around. It is unlikely that a man who crosses children out of his life after a divorce is worthy of respect. Divorce wives - not children!
• It is useless to fight for the attention of a man with his children. And even more so, you can’t forbid him to meet with them, or try to influence his attitude towards them. Children are part of a man. Therefore, this rivalry is initially meaningless.

Jealousy for things (gifts) from a past life

Gifts from the "former", which are kept by a man - frequent cause for conflict in new relationships. A tie, a sweater, a diary, postcards, and especially photographs - any thing from his past causes anger and jealousy. The main idea is “once it is stored, it means it is expensive”.

What to do with jealousy of the past in this case?

• If a thing is “dear” to him, it is completely does not say that the partner still has feelings to an ex-lover. It can be a tribute to those relationships, just an unwillingness to get rid of gifts, etc.
• Your relationship is a new step in his life. Relations with the former are in the past. And no gifts (stored, worn, etc.) can change the fact that you are together. But your jealousy can.
• Never do not ask your partner to get rid of gifts and don't try to do it yourself. A quarrel (and even a break) will be provided to you.
• His things (no matter from what stage of life) - this is his personal space. Your life together does not give you the right to audit his things.

Jealousy for a partner's past lifestyle

When a loved one unobtrusively talks about how great it once was to travel around the world, not caring about anything, to break off in the middle of the week to go fishing (hiking, to the mountains) with friends, to “light up” in clubs and generally not from anyone depend, the woman's nervous system fails. One side - from jealousy to a rich and happy partner's past , with another - from feeling worthless “He was happier then than with me.”

Fantasy does its dirty work: a mentally completed picture of his pleasant past without you and a not-so-successful future with you from all sides launches a mechanism for inadequate assessment of relationships .

How to change the situation?

• To begin with, you need to understand that every person has a period of absolute freedom in his youth and the opportunity to take everything from life. Naturally, this stage leaves a lot of impressions and memories that sometimes you want to get from the mezzanine of memory and smile at your past recklessness. But this does not mean that a person lives in the past or hides in it from the dull present.
• If thoughts appear - “He is completely different with me, in the past he was happier” or “Since he returns to those memories, it means that he is better in them than with me,” then it's time to think - is everything okay in the Danish kingdom. Most likely, his memories are just an excuse to smile. But if they reproach you or have a different negative connotation, it's time to talk. Or look at yourself from the outside. Perhaps you put too much pressure on your partner, limit him in all aspects of life, or bring him into a state of discouragement with your actions (or inaction). Take a closer look: maybe your partner is missing something in your relationship? And he automatically compares your life together with his past.
• Don't make an elephant out of a fly. One of the female traits is to create a salad out of nothing and out of the blue, a new hairstyle and a tragedy. As a rule, in the process of a heart-to-heart conversation with a loved one, it turns out that She again “exaggerated”, and He is more than happy in a relationship, and everything suits Him.

Jealousy is a slow relationship poison . Everything that is good in them dies from suspicion, unnecessary questions and quarrels. And jealousy of the past is also an absurd reproach to your half for something that you even had nothing to do with.

The only way to harmony in relationships is elimination of jealousy at its very beginning . Accept the partner's past for what it is, live in the present and build relationships on trust in each other.

The past is a vast field sown by us, which produces not only the sprouts we expect and cultivated intensively and the fruits that are pleasant from them, but also weeds or useless crops that turn out to be unexpected or stubbornly forgotten by us.
The realm of the past for a Christian is always cumulative. It is also an additional front of pleasant or unpleasant, laborious work. This is the experience of mistakes, sins, victories, pleasant events and sensations, meetings with people or even God. The Lord, saints, angels, but also demons help us to work with understanding the past.
The greatest abuse at the level of thoughts is made on the material of impressions and knowledge of the past. Here is a reason for vanity, and sweet pleasures from sins, and the stench from the realization of their abomination, and the memory of the first knowledge of the world, people, the joy of meeting with the Lord, enlightenment with new ideas, religious experiences, heavy or confused feelings from a collision with the interests of others. , images seen, heard and so on.
We, to clarify, are interested in what a Christian should do with his sins left in the past?

Sinful passions (habits) are divided into: carnal: gluttony and fornication; spiritual: love of money, anger, sadness and despondency; and spiritual: vanity and pride (St. John Cassian: classification of passions, from the book "Passion - Diseases of the Soul" series about passions, author: S.M. Maslennikov).
Deadly sins, for which a person is immediately worthy of being sent to eternal torment, or grave sins, as the holy fathers affirm (St. crushing of the soul. But this memory should grow stronger in the hope of God's mercy. With a sincere confession of these sins and forgiveness on the part of the Lord, or even neighbors, a Christian, however, must bear the burden of what he has done in his heart all his life, committing virtues that are opposite to sin. If the sin is prodigal or blasphemous (in relation to God or a shrine), then the details of the sin are dangerous for remembering, as they entail sparks of the former flame and turn it again into a real fire. Therefore, a detailed confession of such sins can even be harmful - here they are limited to the dry name of sin, as in books.
After turning away from sin with its confession and change of life, one should be healed for a long time, and sometimes for a lifetime. The memory of misdeeds helps a person to be careful and attentive to his feelings and desires, to cultivate humility before the Eternally Holy God, to grow stronger in love and hope in Him.

But there is also something that demons directly impose on us to remember, adding severity to the sins we have committed, also invented filth and fantasies.

It is clear that the memory of the mistakes made should not lead a person into despair, which happens when he does not have strong faith, hope in God and sufficient love for Him and people.
This is the kind of despair that demons plunge us into, not only taking away our hope in the Mercy of the Savior, confusing us with their convictions and assurances of the Creator's mercilessness, but also imposing on us sins that do not belong to us.

Sin matures in a person in stages. Fathers distinguish four or five steps. (St. Nicodemus the Holy Father: "Invisible Warfare", about the origin of sin).
1) Thought - when a thought flies to us from outside
2) Interview - when we react with attention to this thought and reason about it
3) Attack, captivity - falling into the power of thought, sympathy for it, appropriating it to yourself
4) Action - the intention to realize a thought in life, plans for its implementation
5) Practical action
Thought becomes a sin of its own and ours at stage 3. But the beginning soldier of Christ is not supposed to linger at stage 2. Conversations, but to reject the thought at stage 1.
Experienced ascetics of the spirit could expose the thought at the moment of an interview with it in order to disarm the demon proposing it.

There are a number of moments in which a Christian finds himself, as it were, in a trap or in a demonic net, without free will, and runs the risk of falling into confusion or anguish because of the vagueness of his guilt.
An attack for a long time with the same thought that we do not accept is not regarded as a sin, but can be stopped by confession in this struggle at Confession.
Prayer and fasting, according to the Savior, cast out demons from our hearts. Thoughts can be thrown at an unexpected time for us, when we are no longer ready for it.

Night temptations and dreams, where our will does not participate - in a dream - can also seriously shake the firmness of a Christian, faith, and attentiveness to oneself. The enemy creates situations in a dream where we seem to act sinfully, although when we wake up, we understand that the situation is unreal, and the feeling of sin has already struck the heart, guilt and grief have remained with us. In this case, we must seriously ask ourselves: what can this situation say about me, why God allowed me to fall into this temptation. Often - such an incident indicates an unexpunged sin, its root is not uprooted, or pride - in order to reproach our exaltation, God makes us feel our baseness. We are not obliged to remember such dreams and confess as a committed sin, most likely, we should seriously study the reasons for such nightly embarrassment and repent of them.

The fables that demons impose on us, we are not obliged to consider our own. Suspicions of others, rumors, dreams, visions, thoughts will always accompany the struggle of a Christian against himself, the world and demons. We must categorically reject them as "false gifts" of enemies.
The same applies to situations in life when, without objective reasons, we find ourselves in adversity or trouble. We must accept this with gratitude to God, considering that a warrior does not become skillful without participating in battles. Demons want to destroy us, but the Lord equips us with everything necessary for the war and is always with us.
As a result, let's say that thoughts are not yet sins, but the voluntary infatuation with them “marries” the soul to sin.