If you have been invited to a fun party where everyone is having fun, talking casually, and you feel insecure and dream of running home as soon as possible, if you do not know how to become the soul of the company , our article will help you.
The soul of the company - this is usually called a person who knows how to maintain any conversation, easily communicating on the proposed topics. This person can cheer everyone up, revive the holiday. Such people usually have many friends and acquaintances, they are popular, being welcome guests at any event.
But each person is unique in his own way - there are people who do not like to attract the views of others, they feel uncomfortable at the sight of someone else's attention. Due to self-doubt and excessive shyness, these individuals are not very sociable. If you consider yourself one of them, but are ready to change, then the following tips will explain how to become the soul of any company:
- The attitude is very important. Being in any society, try to relax both mentally and physically. After all, the people around you see your tension, which repels them. Remember - the working day is already over today.
- Try to drive away all tense thoughts during the event. Smile at your reflection in the mirror, lower your shoulders and lift your chin - after all, pleasant communication with friends awaits you.
- Try to get the most out of it from what is happening right here and now. Remember the main reason for your presence in society - you came to have fun and relax.
- Don't talk about work. It is likely that this topic is of no interest to anyone but yourself. At least for the time of this evening, forget production problems, postpone working discussions until later. Give yourself for this time only rest and fun, good mood.
- Suggest your entertainment for everyone, show your ability. Don't wait for someone to suggest a direction for the party - take the initiative. However, while observing this rule, it should be remembered that it is highly undesirable to be intrusive - if you see that your interests are not shared by others, then you do not need to continue to implement them. Learn to maneuver in society and determine what is really interesting for each of its members.
- Work on yourself constantly. Remember that you should prepare in advance not only for production meetings and important business meetings. If you decide to go on a picnic with friends, search the Internet for exciting competitions and games for the company in the fresh air. Take a ball, a flying saucer with you. Invite the whole company to play in a circle, and you will see how joint leisure can bring friends together.
- Stop being shy!At Everyone has mistakes and failures. If you have lost your thoughts or made a reservation, do not immediately withdraw into yourself, seek help from others. After all, the person who listened to you carefully will definitely support the conversation.
Are you constantly in a bad mood? Check out our article on .
Psychological preparation
Our main wealth is communication with people. It's not easy to be always in the center of everyone's attention. But this allows you to get the maximum pleasure from communicating with friends, to direct the conversation in the right direction, to manage vital events and conversations. It is worth remembering that not only the nature of your behavior helps to behave correctly in public, but also psychological preparation.
You do not need to be ideal in everything, setting an example. Ideal people do not exist in nature, you should not try on this mask always and everywhere. Remember that it is difficult for people to be around a person who constantly strives to be perfect in all his deeds, words and deeds. Communicating with such personalities, many feel hurt and feel uncomfortable. The only correct approach is to be yourself, with all your shortcomings (without stopping working on them, of course).
The best interlocutor at all times was considered the one who knows how to carefully listen to others. Understand that your friends came to the meeting in order to find understanding and support. Look around - perhaps someone is nearby, maybe right at this moment, needs help and attention, waiting for good advice and an outstretched hand.
You need to learn not only to listen, but also to hear what others are trying to convey to you, to correctly understand your friends and their aspirations. Try to create an atmosphere in which a person can easily open up, talk about his experiences, bare his soul - and this is considered the height of trust between people. Friends always bring together the ability to listen.
It is not necessary to love your acquaintances and friends, it is enough to respect them and maintain good relations - this is not so difficult. Man is a social being. And this means that meetings and communication are an integral part of his existence and will inevitably occur throughout his life. And it is entirely up to you to make these events friendly and warm, enjoying communication.
Summing up, we can say with confidence that everyone can succeed in any company. Be sure to smile - not only to those around you, but also to yourself in the mirror! A smile and a positive mood always attract people, making you the center of attention of the company, and this allows you to achieve any goal.
Image: photostock (freedigitalphotos.net)
Question to a psychologist
It annoys me that my girlfriend is friends with two girls who don't care about me. In this company, I feel like just one of them, I feel like a pawn, although I have such a character that I like to be in the spotlight, but here everything is the opposite. I hate this feeling.
Rebecca! You need to become the center of attention for yourself. Start actively engaging in interesting things, organize for yourself some kind of hobby, passion. Go to exhibitions (in Moscow there are a lot of exhibitions for free or at a minimal cost), to the cinema ..., to events and Call!!! everyone with you. After hiking, discuss everything and share your impressions.
You should become interesting for your friends, and not a gray mouse, with which there is nothing to talk about and it is boring. And as soon as you interest everyone in something, then automatically you will always be in the spotlight. And you will not be a pawn in someone else's game, where you adapt to others, but you will organize your and your girlfriend's leisure time, at the same time others will join you. Because it will be fun and exciting with you.
Konopleva Natalya Vitalievna, Moscow, face-to-face and skype consultations.
Good answer 1 bad answer 0Hello Rebecca.
Not everyone may like you, and it's NORMAL to be interesting not to everyone.
You do not have to admire and love too.
Love to be the center of attention? And for what? What does it give you? I’ll even ask differently: what replaces external attention inside you? What are you compensating for? Maybe a lack of love that comes from childhood? Or do you support self-esteem in this way? Self-esteem should not depend on the people around you, as well as self-confidence and self-acceptance.
Being one of the interesting people is great. However, this is not enough for you due to some reasons.
I suggest you work with these feelings and understand yourself. Then you will gain much more than being the center of attention.
Zolotova (Polyanskaya) Yanina, psychologist in Moscow
Good answer 1 bad answer 0Lizyaev Petr Yurievich
Psychologist Moscow Was online: Today
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Take center stage. If you're at a party or other event, make sure you're in a prominent position to get more attention.
- If you are surrounded by friends or acquaintances, then ask them to join you in the center of the room. This will give you a friendly and caring look, and new faces will want to get closer to you and your friends.
Change seat every 15-20 minutes. Often people choose one place at a party and spend all the time there, but you can attract more attention and meet different people if you do not spend a lot of time in one place.
- Try to choose different places. Talk to a friend at the food table, go to another room and start a new conversation. So you will communicate with different people and will not have time to get bored with any of the companies.
Start casual conversations. Talking to others is a good way to put yourself in the spotlight. Engage people in conversation or play. Chat with new people and joke about common topics so that everyone has fun and comfortable.
- Attract new people to your company. No need to spend time alone and only with your friends. By being the initiator of conversations, you will remain in the spotlight.
- Make jokes about acceptable topics and in moderation. Humor is a great way to bring strangers together and become the center of attention, but constant jokes can have the opposite effect.
Become a good storyteller. People love interesting stories, but even the most incredible story will be unimaginably boring if the storyteller does not know how to keep the listeners' attention. Try listening to radio shows about proper storytelling, speeches and presentations by famous speakers, and watching comedians. Do not forget to pay attention to the pace of speech, logical pauses, the build-up of tension before the denouement. Watch your facial expressions and gestures.
Watch your tone of voice. The sound of your voice determines the success of attempts to attract attention. Learn to use your diaphragm to not only keep your listeners' attention, but even earn additional trust and affection.
Analyze the situation. Telling the same stories in business meetings that you share with your friends in a sports bar can make you the center of attention, but in a completely unwelcome light. Learn to analyze the situation and adapt to the environment in order to attract positive attention. Try to understand the general atmosphere in the room (are people tense, relaxed, excited, aggressive, or bored?) and adjust to that specific situation.
Getting other people's attention to you is the easiest way to be the center of attention. To attract the attention of other people, you just need to be different from them.
The easiest way to do this is with the help of appearance.
1. Clothes. Dress in the latest fashion, or extravagantly. In clothing colors, give preference to bright, catchy colors. If you want to be the center of attention of the opposite sex, give preference to a sexy style of clothing. For a woman, for example, these are tight-fitting clothes that emphasize the seductiveness of forms. Also add one or two small touches: a slit on a skirt / dress, neckline or a couple of unbuttoned buttons on a blouse; red stilettos, etc.
2. Jewelry. Give preference to extravagant or ethnic jewelry. Or it can be a decoration "with a twist."
3. . The easiest way to attract people's attention is to make an unusual hairstyle. But this is optional. The main thing is that the hairstyle should be in harmony with your style of clothing and image.
4. But looks aren't everything. Your demeanor is also important: outrageous or mysterious, as you like.
5. However, do not forget the proverb: "meet by clothes - see off by mind." Do not forget that appearance is still a wrapper, your content is much more important.
How to get rid of shyness and tightness?
Shyness, shyness, low self-esteem, various complexes - all this makes it very, very difficult to be in the spotlight. Even if you do not strive to be in the spotlight, sometimes you still have to do it. For example, speak in public, give a speech, express your opinion, etc. Shyness and complexes force you to "keep a low profile", "hide in the sink" and avoid situations where you need to be in the spotlight.
If you are afraid of being the center of attention, you will not be appreciated, you will not be promoted, you will not be able to make the right impression at the right time. But in this way you miss your chance. If you always remain inconspicuous, you will never reach your full potential.
6. The best way to learn to be the center of attention is practice, constant practice in communication. Communicate constantly with a variety of people. Develop your self-respect.
8. To become the soul of the company, you need to be able to interest, amuse or surprise people. In general, be a "ringleader". Show a sense of humor, wit, tell jokes or describe hilarious stories in faces.
9. Not bad if you have some kind of hobby or passion that you can show to your friends. For example, songs with a guitar, or some tricks. It’s good if you have a rich imagination and you generate ideas, so you won’t get bored with you.
10. True, not everyone can be the soul of the company. For example, if you are an introvert immersed in yourself. Then why would you want to play someone else's role? Be yourself first of all, be an interesting conversationalist - that's enough!
How to become a bright personality?
The focus of people's attention is on those people who represent something. People who just want to stand out, impress, are superficial. They take the external quality for the internal content.
Meanwhile, a bright and charismatic person can dress discreetly, behave with modest dignity, not be the soul of the company, and even avoid increased attention to himself.
11. To become such a person, one must first realize oneself in professional activity. You need to be an individualist and not adapt to the tastes and desires of the majority. You need to be a strong person. You need to have character in order to achieve your goal. Such - strong and successful - people are always attractive to other people.
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The face is neither young nor old, neither beautiful nor ugly, usually an average face, the eyes are dull and already tired, although it is only early in the morning. The corners of the lips and eyebrows are lowered, making the face look like a sad mask of Pierrot. “I wonder,” the thought comes up, as gray as this morning, “can this woman in the mirror attract the attention of a man? In my opinion, such a face is more suitable for sitting on it, ”you smile sadly.
“But after all, there are women who seem to be no better than you, but for men it’s just honey for flies,” you frown, already frowning.
“I also want to-u-u. I want to always be in the center of male attention, ”the inner child who lives in the soul of every woman will immediately whine, and no, no, yes, and a worm of envy will move in the heart.
“So how can I make myself no less (or even more) attractive? How to make yourself the center of attention of a man? suddenly you think.
What attracts the attention of a man, and what is the secret of a woman's attractiveness?
First of all, let's cast aside envy, cast off despondency and fatigue, and throw outdated concepts of attractiveness into the landfill. Attractiveness is not beauty. Although beauty also does not hurt, but this concept of beauty is not exhausted at all. For attractiveness, instead of beauty, such a trifle as awareness of one's own beauty is enough.
“Where will I get the awareness of my beauty, if there is no great beauty in sight?” You raise your eyebrows in skepticism.
Just believe that you are a priori beautiful. Take my word for it, so to speak, without checking, feel that you are beautiful, amazing, magnificent. Be sure of it without any reason, without any reason. There will be a reason. Then.
« ... Confidence must be causeless,
She'll find her own reason
How a woman attracts a man ... "(W. Levy)
Well, we figured out the presumption of beauty, what else is needed for attractiveness?
Radiant sparkle in the eyes?
And a radiant face?
And the smile is not only on the lips, but also in the words, in the wave of the eyelashes, in the movement of the eyebrows and the turn of the head?
And the light radiating from your whole being?
And a keen interest in everything that happens around?
And a light flying gait?
And graceful posture?
And the ability to make the colors brighter, the day brighter, the music more melodious with just your presence?
And the way you talk to everyone as if they were the most unusual and interesting person in the world?
“Stop, stop, stop. How can they only remember all this, but also fulfill it? How to depict all this at the same time, and at the same time not forget anything? you grab your head in a panic.
And you don't need to show anything. All this should come to you imperceptibly, like a light morning dream in the first rays of the dawn sun. It should be born in you naturally, like a mother's bright smile in response to the sonorous laughter of a child.
It should be part of you.
Do you want a simple answer, how to make yourself the center of attention of a man? Just love yourself...
Feel like the center around which people, houses, stars, the universe revolve...
Believe in your beauty, youth, self-sufficiency, intelligence, which are the essence of a reflection of a multifaceted and infinitely beautiful world.
Worship yourself as an idol, exalt yourself as a queen, and then it will not matter to you that you are always in the center of attention of the men who surround you, and who flock to you from nowhere like moths to a fire. The main thing for you will be that you are in the center of attention of that very man of yours, the only and desired, for the sake of which your universe rotates.
