Video: How to become cold? And who sleeps in pajamas, in winter and on the street?: D

More and more people, especially teenagers, are wondering how to become insensitive. Emotions are good. But not always. Life is unpredictable, it has ups and downs. And just the last of some especially emotional, kind, sympathetic and vulnerable people can seriously injure. If this happens regularly, you have to somehow abstract from the situation. And the question of how to become cold and insensitive comes to the mind of many. Just for the sake of not feeling pain anymore, not feeling the sorrows of failure. This is not the best solution, but in some situations the only way to escape. There are several tips that will definitely help you bring this idea to life.

Not everything is given

Just take your time. To begin with, think carefully about whether you want to rid yourself of emotions. Often it is more difficult to restore them than to eliminate them. By the way, not everyone can be insensitive.

Remember: few people have a true lack of emotions. Usually cruelty and composure are in the blood of a person. If there is a predisposition to these traits, then it will be easy and simple to solve our today's question. Otherwise, you will literally step on the throat of yourself and your inner structure.

Usually at first it becomes very painful to experience negative moments. But at one point, this feeling disappears. And you don't care. Once you achieve this, it will be easier to solve the problem.

Try to remember all the negative events at once, en masse. Only in this way can you fully answer how to become insensitive. Yes, it may seem impossible, but with continued practice, you will notice a clear change in your behavior.

Lack of attention

The second rule is for nothing. Neither for people, nor for any events. Forget holidays, relatives, friends. Sometimes it is enough not to congratulate someone on their birthday once, so that they begin to consider you cold-blooded.

Yes, it will be difficult in the beginning. Especially when your favorite holiday comes or some bright, pleasing, emotional event occurs. But you should not just ignore it, but meet it with complete indifference. Until you learn this, you will not be able to become an insensitive person. After all, such people usually rarely show their emotions. Most often, their faces show complete indifference to everything.

Let's say "no" to help

A very interesting fact is that refusing to help someone instantly makes you a cruel bad person. Even if you really are simply unable to help or refuse for some specific, justified reasons. So, in order to figure out how to become an insensitive creature, you just need to not help people. That is, in general. Absolutely. Even on trifles. Remember: helping is very disadvantageous. Especially close people. They often demand something from you that will harm you. In addition, helping in practice awakens positive emotions. And this is of no use to you. After all, the main task that faces you is to completely get rid of emotions.

Please note that you must always refuse. And even if help is vital. Initially, this will not be easy. But over time you will get used to it. By the way, very often such a step makes life much easier. You will not do anything to the detriment of yourself.

mirroring

Are you often offended? Or maybe you just succumb to eternal emotional tyranny? Gain strength and courage ... and mirror your behavior. Do not be afraid to hurt your offenders. However, like all other people.

What does it mean? Treat your offenders exactly as they treat you. It doesn't matter who it is - a relative or just a friend / acquaintance. Take an example from people who hurt you. They are usually just perfect role models. After all, the ability to hurt a nerve is a good skill for a cruel person.

What about those who communicate with you with kindness and friendliness? Mirroring will not help here - this is a charge of extra positive emotions. Therefore, just take an example from your offenders: try to distance yourself from such personalities, constantly tell them something offensive, unpleasant. Over time, this will become a habit.

Full control

And here is the golden rule that you should always remember. If you want to understand how to become insensitive, you need to take control of all your emotions. How exactly to do it? There is no exact algorithm here. Just a few tips.

Video: How to become indifferent to the opinions of others // Denis Borisov

To get started, choose a profession that makes you suppress emotions. For example, a doctor. There they will be able to teach you some things that will help bring our today's idea to life.

Also a good way to control emotions are a variety of psychological courses and trainings. They are called - "Emotions under control." True, they are more taught to restrain the negative. But similar principles can be interpreted for positive sensations.

In the end, on your own try to keep all the good things inside and suppress them. Think: "Everything is bad." And repeat this to yourself constantly. Even if everything is just great. Sooner or later you will notice how you have learned to control emotions. In this case, it remains only to keep always a stone, unemotional face when communicating.

It's all. Just before you become cruel and insensitive, think carefully about whether you really need it. Getting your emotions back will be harder. Pain is always easier to endure than to drown out.

In the section on the question How to become an insensitive person? given by the author User deleted the best answer is ne sovetuu, bezchustvennim ochen legko stat"
nu potom budesh kak brevno, kotoroe poteraet interes k zhizni
nichego postraday, ti ne odna - potom budem lutshe dlya teba zhe
ili prosto staraysa ne vhodit v takie situatsie v kotorih chustvuesh chto mozhet bit stradaniya potom

Answer from Alexei[guru]
measure of suffering.
The gardener cuts the branches so that the tree grows faster and bears better fruit. If he exceeds the measure and cuts off the excess, the tree will wither.
Believe that your suffering can never exceed measure. God watches over every person more carefully and more mercifully than any gardener.
Listen to how St. Nil of Sora argues: "If the potter knows the measure of keeping the vessel in the fire so that it does not burst, does God not know the measure of our suffering?" Believe, the Lord has a greater reason than man.

Answer from to christen[guru]
as difficult as becoming sentient in the absence of this quality. only... feeling and good are not the same thing. insensitive people also suffer, and almost harder than those who feel

Answer from I-beam[active]
Watch "Equilibrium"

Answer from intricately woven[newbie]
Everyone's suffering is different. If you can't say "no", then you're just "spineless" as they say. Being good isn't always bad. But in order to become insensitive, strong motives are needed.

Answer from Anastasia Shilina[newbie]
Do you know how insensitivity and indifference are born? It is after you love incredibly much in a short period of time and at the same time endure damned severe pain, after that you start to give a shit about someone’s feelings, someone’s words ..

Answer from Alexandra Tikhonova[newbie]
I do not know! If you know the answer write to me! And I feel so bad because of this! :(

Answer from Alexxusa1[active]
learn to control your brain, change your attitude to what is happening and learn to manage feelings. there is an interesting and useful literature for this

Answer from Ўla[guru]
Not worth it. Just learn to say "NO" to others at least once in a while.

Does a person need to be cruel? Everyone has their own opinion on this matter. It is clear that none of us wants to see cruel people around us, whom we are not unreasonably afraid of, or in any case we are afraid of. We are much more comfortable to be around harmless, compliant, kind and sympathetic people who would not cause you any fear. This desire is understandable, it meets our security needs. But let's think about how safe it is in this world to be too kind, sympathetic, soft, compliant and absolutely harmless person? Or at least appear to be? Perhaps not the best option for us. Anyway, we don't always have to be like that. Because many will offend such a person, use and assert themselves at his expense. But tough and even more cruel people, as a rule, are afraid, and therefore they respect, and therefore reckon with them. The world is often cruel and merciless to those who do not understand its laws. And in order not to become its victim, one must also be able to be cruel. Therefore, in this article we will talk with you about how to develop rigidity in yourself, just as much as is necessary in order to stand up for yourself and defend your interests in this life.

At one time I worked as a criminal psychologist and dealt with very cruel people, or rather, with the acts that they committed. This allowed me to look at the world from a dark, let's say, side. And I realized that the world can be very cruel, especially to weak people. And since the world can be cruel, then the person in it must also be cruel - when necessary. Cruelty is considered a manifestation of weakness and cowardice, but let's think a little better - is it really so? Does a cruel person who knows how to subjugate the will of other people seem weak? But is he? As a rule, no. Although, out of weakness and fear, a person can indeed commit cruel acts to intimidate other people, thus suppressing his fear at the expense of their fear, but even in this case, thanks to his aggressive actions, a person achieves a result, and does not do nothing and does not run away from danger. Therefore, a person needs cruelty, especially in situations where a person's life depends on its presence or absence. He needs to be cruel in order to resist cruelty, for I have never seen a case in my life when kindness was successfully opposed to cruelty and violence. I do not take the story of Mahatma Gandhi as an example, because I do not consider his philosophy of non-violence to be non-violent. But it's not about that now. If you found this article, it means that you have already met with life - with that side of it that does not stroke the head, but stings very strongly and painfully. Therefore, why do you become cruel - you yourself know well. I just want to say that we develop cruelty in ourselves not in order to use it to commit violence against other people, but in order to protect ourselves from this violence.

So, in order to become a cruel person, dear friends, you first need to reconsider your entire worldview. Kindness and cruelty are two sides of the same coin. You must understand and accept this, and stop considering cruelty as something that should not be in our lives. Therefore, in order to be cruel, one must become practical. What does it mean? This means that moral standards should be perceived by you only from the point of view of your interests. Simply put, you need to be kind when - when it is beneficial to you. And when it is not profitable for you, forget about kindness, decency, honor, honesty, and so on. Cruelty, as I was convinced by studying its origins, is first of all a cold-blooded practicality, in which a person can step over anyone, for the sake of himself and his interests. Therefore, the development of cruelty requires a person to develop composure and indifference to other people, in which a person is able to control his emotions. There is no need to be a rabid sadist, a wild psychopath who terrifies people. Although this is also a manifestation of cruelty. But with an animal character, you will not go far, you will either be put in a cage, more balanced, but no less strong people, or other wild psychopaths will beat you. It is better to be a cold-blooded and calculating cynic, silently and effectively removing everyone who blocks it from its path. Such a person is cruel mainly due to his prudence and the absence of any moral brakes. He is neither bad nor good, he lives the way it is profitable for him to live. To become such a person, it is necessary, as I said, to completely revise your worldview, and make for yourself the norm of what you now treat with fear and hatred. It is necessary to accept cruel and immoral acts into your inner world, understanding their meaning. You should never judge other people and their actions for anything - you just need to try to understand what you are afraid of and what you hate. Forget that there is something good or bad in this world - try to see the meaning in everything, even in the wildest and immoral acts of people. And of course, look for your own benefit in everything. The one who invented this world and you and me knew what he was doing. He created us as we should be, at least in this world.

But you and I still have to take into account the fact that the cruelty of people is an integral part of their lives, so we need not to fence ourselves off from it, but to learn to live with it and, as necessary, show it. And so the last way to become cruel, which I want to tell you about in this article, dear friends, is very simple - take an example from those who act cruelly, but not wildly, but rather cynically and effectively, achieving their goals with the help of cruelty. Study the behavior of these people, try to understand its origins, its meaning, features, goals. And then, think about what actions you can use to adopt this behavior and reproduce it in those situations when you need it. After all, you can, say, not help people when you don’t need it, it’s not profitable and disgusting, isn’t it? You can also learn how to mercilessly destroy your enemies in a variety of ways, using all the means available to you. You just need to abandon the pattern behavior that you are now unconsciously adhering to, and begin to form a new, more correct pattern, by imitating those who behave more practically.

Cruelty requires from a person not only a certain understanding of life, but also determination. You need to start choosing the behavior you want. Once upon a time, you learned from someone - not to be a cruel person, right? Someone, by his own example, showed you how to and how not to act in this life, did someone make you the way you are now, inspiring you with certain attitudes? Well, now learn from other people how to be cruel - take an example from those who, in your opinion, understand life better than you. Study the behavior and thinking of these people - learn to look at the world through their eyes. And then you too will become a cruel person - justifiably cruel.

Also keep in mind that a cruel person can defeat other people in a variety of ways. For him, the end always justifies any means. Among the various ways to achieve goals, a special place is occupied by the ability to manipulate people, thanks to which many insidious rulers came to power and established their harsh and even cruel laws and rules for everyone. Manipulation is the most powerful weapon in the hands of any person. These are weapons of both local and mass destruction. If you are a physically and mentally weak person, if you need strong weapons to protect yourself and defend your interests, then you need to learn how to manipulate people - this skill will give you great strength. Good manipulators are able to outmaneuver, outwit, and ultimately defeat anyone. Master the skills of manipulating people and they will help you cope with any enemies, rivals, competitors.

Friends, do not forget that we develop cruelty in ourselves not in order to purposefully harm other people, but in order to prevent them from harming us. And also so that they do not interfere with us to achieve our goals and do not get in our way. When nothing else helps in such cases, you can resort to competent cruelty.

To people in general, if you just want to be alone with yourself. However, if you are striving to be "heartless", then most likely you are trying to break out of an unhealthy relationship with a partner or family member. In this case, you must be clearly aware that you are closing yourself off from a person both emotionally and physically. Also, constantly remind yourself why being "cold" is a necessary but temporary measure to regain control of your life.

Steps

Signal your coldness

1. Make a decision and stick to it. As soon as you decide to become heartless towards someone, you must remain steadfast in your intention. Keep reminding yourself why it's important to your well-being and happiness to end the relationship and end your attraction to this person.

   • When breaking up, be very clear: “I realized that this relationship is hurting me, and I decided that we can no longer be together. And it is not discussed".
   • Ending relationships in this manner is a harsh and serious measure, so save it for obviously destructive and irreparable relationships.

2. Cut off contacts as much as possible. If possible, do not answer phone calls, emails, messages in VK and so on. Every time you give a person a chance to explain himself or ask for forgiveness, your resolve will weaken.

   • Explain the change one single time: "I don't want us to communicate unless it's absolutely necessary."
   • Consider all (without exception) attempts at reconciliation as the desire of the other person to return you to the position in which you will suffer again.

3. When communicating, try to end the conversation as quickly as possible. If you are forced to communicate with this person, use "no" as a full sentence when he asks if he can call you, explain something, and so on. Otherwise, answer directly and briefly, such as: "I can't," "It's impossible," or "I don't have time for this." And then go away, hang up the phone and stuff.

   • Or pretend not to notice or hear the person at all.
   • Use this tactic when dealing with a colleague or classmate, for example.

4. Don't show your thoughts or feelings. Don't express anything that could be interpreted as doubt or remorse, such as saying the word "I'm sorry", whether you're really asking for forgiveness or not. Show no signs of affection. Don't even look at this person. Close completely.

   • Do not enter into discussions about how you are going to move on, what is your next step, and so on. Become a complete mystery to the person.
   • You have already informed him of your decision. You don't owe him anything anymore, no matter what he says.

5. Refuse to reminisce or wallow in sentimentality. Don't think about the "good times" you two had. You can't be heartless while having fond memories. Delete all messages, emails, and more. Get rid of photos, gifts, and anything else that reminds you of that person.

   • Even if you had good times, sacrifice the memories of them in order to completely cut off relations with this person.
   • Perhaps in the future, after you enter into a healthy relationship, you will be able to calmly recall some of those “good times”.

Stand firm on your heartlessness

1. Remind yourself that you are strong and in control. Thanks to brain chemistry and social reinforcement, people with power and control are less able to empathize with others. And it turns out that even a temporary "rapture with power" reduces the ability to "feel the pain" of others. To take advantage of this element of human nature, constantly visualize the moments in your life when you felt most powerful and in control.

   • For example, before any potential meeting with this person, remind yourself that you have built a successful business from scratch, secured your financial future, or earned the respect of others.

2. Remember why the relationship had to end. In moments of weakness, anger can be a good source of motivation. When hard times come and you feel tempted to give up, get angry. Remind yourself of all the times you were treated poorly, lied to, or left without the support you needed.

   • Make a detailed list of all the times the person hurt or let you down, and reread it whenever you need to. Or, if it helps, stick a picture of the person on a dartboard or punching bag and blow off some steam.

3. Do other things. During this transition period, it is important to occupy your mind and yourself. Take up a new hobby that you've always wanted to try, or return to a hobby you once loved.

   • If certain activities or hobbies bring up strong memories for you of the person you're trying to be cool with, stop doing it, at least temporarily. Or change the conditions, for example, sign up for a new gym or art classes instead of cooking and so on.

4. Reconnect with loved ones who support you. If the negative relationship problems you've been in have hurt your connections with other people, work on being a good friend, sister, mom, and so on. Show those loved ones who have been by your side all this time that you appreciate their support.

   • Do not extend your heartlessness to them. Show them the love and warmth they deserve!

5. Start actively grooming yourself on a regular basis. Use all the time, attention, and affection that you have transferred from this person and focus it back on yourself. Putting your own needs first will help you gain the emotional and physical strength to get out of a destructive relationship completely. Focus on:

   • physical health (exercise regularly, get enough sleep, eat right);
   • emotional well-being (meditate, pray, do yoga or tai chi, do relaxation exercises, and so on);
   • spending time with friends and family members who support you;
   • activities that bring you pleasure (go to the movies, get out, travel, etc.).

I was surprised to find that the query “How to become insensitive?” is quite popular. In general, it is quite strange when a person wants to get rid of all feelings. But after a few moments, I realized what motivates such desires. But first things first.

How to become an insensitive and cold person?

To become insensitive and cold, you should remove thoughts from your head that cause you emotional experiences. For example, you can't get a girl out of your head. But for some reason you do not want to experience any feelings and emotions. As soon as you start thinking about it, immediately give an account of it and change the picture in your head with an effort of will and consciousness. Start remembering the last trip to the sea or some of the pleasant moments in life. At first, switching the head will be quite difficult. However, if you methodically perform this exercise, you will learn not to think about what you do not want to. Ideally, an unwanted thought should quickly dissolve in the head, and it should be replaced by peaceful silence and emptiness. In the good sense of the word. If you want to understand the issue at a deeper level, I can recommend reading the books of Eckhart Tolle.

What I described above is not a recipe in the traditional sense of getting rid of feelings, but work on oneself and removing the fighting body from consciousness.

Why do people want to become insensitive?

The most common situation: in 90% of cases, a person wants to get rid of feelings and become cold, having experienced a negative experience in life. It may be a close relationship with the person who betrayed. The same situation can happen with a good friend (at least, he seemed like that before). These negative situations can hurt your feelings and make you suffer a lot. Logically, it seems that in order to avoid such suffering, you should drown out your feelings as much as possible. But this is the most primitive solution that will not give anything good in life, but will only freeze your pain for many years.

No need to get rid of feelings

If you begin to avoid negative emotions, and the negative that was before is not worked out in yourself, then you will also not be able to enjoy life and enjoy it. Life is like a pendulum: it constantly swings you from negative to positive and back. The most important thing in life is to learn how to perceive failures and difficult situations correctly. Do not close yourself after them, but be philosophical. Do not scroll through them later in your head, but pay more attention to the positive that is also happening to you. Often people are so focused on the negative that they do not see anything good around them. A good 100% is. This is where the program starts: if you constantly think in a negative way, then everything in life goes awry. And if you have good, positive thoughts in your head, then you will live easily and with pleasure.

In order to work with your psyche and way of thinking, I advise you to read several books on this topic. They are easy to google and find online.

I wish that in your life, on the contrary, there were more bright emotions. And without feelings it is impossible to experience them. Only in this case there is a feeling that you live a full, happy and eventful life. And insensitivity and coldness are the road to nowhere.