When I was in kindergarten, a boy from my group threw my favorite book off the balcony, says 20-year-old Anna. “I remember crying terribly—not because of the book, but because I hated that boy.” The main sign of hypersensitivity is strong emotions that can arise due to the most insignificant reasons.

Some of us are just more acutely aware of everything that happens to them, and this is not necessarily a bad thing. According to psychologist Elaine Aron, there are approximately 20% of hypersensitive people (hypersensitives) in society. This means that one or more of your acquaintances, friends or relatives, most likely, belongs to their number.

Here's what to remember when dealing with hypersensitives. Elaine Eyron is a psychologist and author of The Hypersensitive Nature. How to succeed in a crazy world” (Azbuka-Atticus, 2014).

1. THEY CRY A LOT
Hypersensitive people may cry when they are happy, sad, or irritated. This does not mean that they are bad. They just experience everything that happens to them very intensely, and tears help emotional release.

2. THEY ARE NOT NEEDED TO BE INTROVERTED
Introversion can go hand in hand with hypersensitivity, but this is not always the case. In fact, as Elaine Ayron discovered, 30% of hypersensitive people are extroverts. Often they require even more attention because they find it difficult to regulate their emotional state, they are more dependent on others and may experience a kind of intoxication from impressions.

3. THEY ARE NERVOUS WHEN THEY NEED TO MAKE A DECISION
The ability to quickly and confidently make decisions is not the strongest feature of hypersensitivity. Even when it comes to such banal things as choosing a cafe for lunch. The reason is that they are very afraid of making the wrong choice: suddenly the food in the cafe will be too expensive, the music will be too loud, the waiters will ignore them, and their companion will not like it there.

4. THEY REACT TO THE SMALLEST CHANGE
“If you are used to ending messages with a smiley, but this time you put an end to it, be sure: we will definitely note this,” Anna says. “And we’ll probably start to get nervous.” Hypersensitives tend to be very sensitive to what's going on in their environment and instantly notice when things aren't going their way.

5. THEY ARE ALWAYS LISTENING
If you need a friendly shoulder, feel free to contact them. Hypersensitives can make small talk, but they do best in the role of an attentive listener. You can be sure that they will not interrupt you, will not become distracted and change the subject.

6. THEY HATE NOISE AND LOUD SOUNDS
A high-speed train, car horns, overly sociable colleagues ... All this not only annoys us - we suffer, as if every sound is driven into our heads with a hammer. According to Elaine Ayron, it's all about the reduced threshold of sensitivity, because of which any stimulus is felt more strongly.

7. THEIR WORK HABITS ARE VERY UNUSUAL
The ideal option is to work at home or in any quiet place. This allows you to focus and keep your nerves in order. “Hypersensitivity people are able to take advantage of their ability to observe,” says Elaine Ayron. “They have a knack for thinking about ideas and then presenting them in a way that will be taken seriously.” Their analytical skills and attentiveness to other people's comments make them excellent teammates (as long as they are not put in charge of making major decisions).

8. THEY DO NOT LIKE TO TICKLE
A horror movie or a thriller is not the best choice if you want to invite a hypersensitive person to the cinema. The tendency to empathize, combined with an increased susceptibility to emotionally charged images, can cause shock in them.

9. They don't take criticism well.
Avoidance of anything that can cause too much excitement, a hallmark of hypersensitivity. As a result, they try to do everything possible so that they themselves do not hurt the feelings of others and not cause their displeasure.

10. THEY TAKE EVERYTHING TO HEART
When communicating with hypersensitives, avoid ridicule. Of course, they themselves can love good jokes and try to relate to life with humor, but even the hint that something may be wrong with them makes them nervous.

11. THEY ARE VERY SENSITIVE TO PAIN
Pain is also a kind of stimulation. Not surprisingly, hypersensitives perceive it more acutely. Elaine Ayron's research has confirmed that hypersensitive people have a low pain threshold, and the expectation of pain (for example, in the dentist's office) can make you feel pain even when no one touches them.

12. THEY DREAM OF DEEP RELATIONSHIPS
Hypersensitives find it difficult to make new acquaintances. The stress of uncertainty, the expectation of possible awkwardness, the painful guessing of what the interlocutor is thinking, all this tires them. Hypersensitive people tend to find a reliable, empathetic partner with whom they can relax and who they can completely trust.

13. THEY CAN'T CHANGE IT IN THEM
Hypersensitivity is not just a whim or a lack of character. Elaine Eyron found that areas of the brain associated with empathy and cognition in hypersensitive people become more aroused when they are shown photos of a face with traces of strong emotions. In other words, this behavior is biologically programmed.

If there is an oversensitive person in your environment, try to be sensitive to him. Most likely, he himself understands his own characteristics well, therefore he behaves carefully and considerately. But he expects understanding from you too.

What if any unfamiliar situation causes you great excitement? What if a half-hour buffet leads to an unbearable desire for privacy, as a "social hangover" inevitably sets in? Perhaps you are one of the orchid people.

Hypersensitivity

A bit of theory: the phenomenon of hypersensitivity was first described by Elaine Ayron, an American psychotherapist. Before her, all orchid people were mistakenly classified as either introverts or simply nervous or even neurotic people. Hypersensitivity has nothing to do with diseases and deviations! Of course, introversion is found in most orchid people, but there are also extroverts among them.

I will make a reservation that this is not a scientific work and I did not conduct research. What is written here is the result of observations of myself and others like me, and I was inspired by Elaine Ayron's book "The Hypersensitive Nature".

Who are these orchid people?

You can safely classify yourself as one of these 25% subtle natures if you have most of the following signs:

2. Caution and even slowness in making decisions
3. A tendency to deeply analyze one's actions and the events taking place around
4. Increased attention to subtle details and subtle trends
5. High susceptibility to the emotions of other people (high empathy, pity for the weaker), as well as avoidance of conflicts
6. Loss of concentration and confusion in a situation of assessment and observation by other people
7. Developed intuition, propensity for foresight
8. Right-brain thinking, good creativity

9. Introversion (about 70% of orchid people are introverts), avoidance of publicity and a wide range of communication
10. Propensity for constant learning, the desire for self-improvement
11. Increased vulnerability and a tendency to more pronounced physical discomfort, that is, they suffer more from pain, tolerate hunger worse
12. Higher susceptibility to drug treatment, caffeine

Now we will analyze in more detail the main features of orchid people, and how they manifest themselves at work, in communication with colleagues.

1. High susceptibility to external stimuli and strong excitability of the nervous system

Details:
Perhaps this is the most striking and defining feature of orchid people. If we take beads as a metaphorical image, then this feature is a thread, and all
the rest are beads, which without a thread could not make beads.

The reaction of highly sensitive people to any, even a minor stimulus, is stronger than most people. The reaction to unexpected and unfamiliar stimuli is especially strong. For example, the unexpected sound of breaking glass or someone's shout will make you shudder, gasp and your heart will beat strongly. Strong irritants completely stun you and cause a stupor reaction, a desire to retire as soon as possible. Therefore, orchid people, due to their increased emotionality, try to avoid:
Crowded traffic during rush hour
Meetings with large crowds
Buffets and noisy parties
Long noisy lines
Traffic jams (by the way, orchid people know better than others how to avoid traffic jams;)

Cause:
The nervous system of orchid people is tuned to a higher susceptibility to minor stimuli. This, in turn, implies a more detailed processing of information entering the brain. As a result, the overload of the nervous system is greater than in most people. From here - fatigue sets in faster, with strong irritants - fatigue is completely deafening.

Manifestation in the business environment:
Orchid people are extremely uncomfortable in large and noisy meetings. In order not to aggravate your internal tension and not to force
their heart beat even faster, prefer to remain silent. They definitely don't like open-space offices.

Of course, I don't like to work on weekends, but if you have to go out, the bonus is the opportunity to sit in an empty office with dimmed lights! My work is in full swing in such an environment!

2. Caution and slowness in making decisions.

Details:
Orchid people prefer to think through all the possible consequences of any action, which takes a lot of time. But their decisions are often successful,
because they were based on collecting a large number of facts and considering all possible options.

Cause:
Your brain is always striving for careful and deep processing of information, and this takes much more time.

Manifestation in the business environment:
Such people work on the principle of "measure seven times, cut once." A job in which you need to make decisions quickly causes the strongest
stress.

3. The tendency to constantly analyze their actions and the events taking place around them

Details:
Orchid people are prone to prolonged reflection and introspection. Surrounding it can be perceived as wandering in the clouds and counting crows;).
Constant internal dialogue can lead to absent-mindedness and some awkwardness in actions. But precisely because of this inner work
orchid people are more often endowed with worldly wisdom, they are more often reasonable and prudent in their actions, more often they become truly mature people.

Cause:
All the same tendency to constantly process incoming information.

Manifestation in the business environment:

When discussing some new information, a hypersensitive employee may seem to have a poor grasp of what is happening. But thanks to his penchant for analysis, he subsequently comes to an even deeper understanding of the details and nuances than others.

She herself noticed the following: when I learn something new in large quantities, there is confusion and chaos in my head. But I already know that the brain is semiconsciously processing what it has learned. And the next day or week (depending on the complexity of the task or information) comes SUCH clarity and understanding, which at first I never dreamed of! The expression "Morning is wiser than evening" is exactly about orchid people!

4. Increased attention to subtle details and trends

Details:
From a highly sensitive nature, you are more likely to hear the phrase "Something is wrong here ..." It is the orchid people who will be the first to pay attention to subtle changes in the usual course of things. Whether it will be a false alarm or the beginning of an impending disaster is already a matter of time. But in any case, it will be wise for other people to listen to them. Perhaps, when the tsunami approached in Thailand, the orchid people were the first to pay attention to the animals running away from the shore, and even more so, they did not rush to collect shells on the exposed shore before the arrival of a big wave ...

High susceptibility to minor stimuli is combined with increased attention to detail. The nervous system of orchid people, figuratively speaking, wears glasses with magnifying glasses: they help to see details better, but the incoming light from the lenses burns more. Nature has given us such lenses so that we can see the approaching danger in advance and warn our fellow tribesmen. A separate post on my website is devoted to the benefits of orchid people for the rest of the community.

Manifestation in the business environment:
You are the one who can alert your boss or your colleagues to a problem before it gets worse. You are the one who first notices the subtle
changes in the market and warn others about it. You may have a reputation for exaggerating danger all the time. But rather in you
appreciate this insight.

I tried to show most of the characteristic features of orchid people as advantages and strengths. Believe me, I was not afraid to go too far, since such people are rarely prone to inflated self-esteem, and such praises against them will not lead to narcissism.

About increased susceptibility, and how to live with it?

Today's article will be useful to all those who, when communicating with an unpleasant person, begin to have a headache, who simply have tears from injustice and sad events, those who react supersensitively to the weather, people around them, world cataclysms, watched films or read books, their own and other people's work, mutual misunderstanding, for any business or for recreation - in general, for life in all its manifestations.

Such hypersensitive people need to be able to follow certain rules and some limitations in perception, because otherwise there may simply not be enough internal resources, which go at an alarming rate to comprehend what worries them. And these resources are simply necessary for hypersensitive people to quickly restore mental and physical strength, without which it is impossible to maintain normal relationships and perform elementary tasks.

Increased susceptibility has many positive aspects that are noticeable to the surrounding naked eye: a hypersensitive person is attentive and responsive, as a rule, is engaged in creativity, he is caring and compassionate, and is able to give a lot to others emotionally. Such people are usually pleasant in communication, they quickly fall in love with themselves, they are not always in the center of the company, but almost certainly are its soul.

The other side of increased susceptibility is sudden mood swings, low work capacity, loneliness and apathy. Each personal loss is experienced very painfully, each break in relations is perceived as one's own death, such people very often idealize the objects of their sympathy, and then experience severe disappointment.

You should not fight with increased susceptibility, you need to come to terms with it and learn how to manage it in your personal interests, because sometimes it can be very difficult and even unbearable to live with it.

How to be?

Communicate with those who are attractive and interesting to you, from the rest, if necessary, put up mental barriers, you can also visualize a wall between yourself and inappropriate interlocutors with the feeling that you are safe and nothing bad will pass through the wall.
Learn to step back from unnecessary emotions and experiences - this is a great way that will suit people with increased susceptibility. If you have already let something superfluous into yourself that carries negativity, try not to get involved in this state, follow it as if from the outside, wondering where it could come from, and deciding for yourself not to live this negative emotion. After some time, it will pass by itself, having lost your attention.
It is very important to find ways to free yourself from unnecessary worries. As a sewer, for draining unnecessary and harmful emotions, creativity is perfect, or physical training, in general, is a favorite pastime, everyone can have their own.
And, at least sometimes, arrange for yourself a time of partial or complete isolation. If you understand that you no longer have the strength to let all this negativity through you, turn off your phone and other means of communication, and try to close yourself at home with an interesting book, or take care of household chores, go to the forest and enjoy loneliness and silence, where you can bring your thoughts in order and restore strength.

In this article, I will offer several ways to distract yourself from negative thoughts. To some they will seem simple and familiar, but I hope someone will take them into service and it will become a little easier for him to live.

What torments you today will bother you in two days, a week, a month, a year? Maybe it's an ordinary trifle that you will forget in a couple of days? If your thoughts are occupied with some trifle, throw it out of your head without regret and go do more useful things.
Think about the worst outcome of the situation. Imagine the real situation in detail, detail the “tragic end” as much as possible. What happens if you don't stop worrying? It's no secret that all diseases are caused by nerves. You can easily get sick, or a chronic disease can worsen - this often happens with hyper-responsible workaholics. Believe me, your favorite job, which you are so worried about, will not put you on your feet, and no one will appreciate your dedication.
If you can’t influence the outcome of the situation in any way, humble yourself, calm down and get distracted. No one will be relieved of your suffering, so do something useful: clean up, go to the gym, go to the movies or go for a walk with friends.
If you are constantly nervous about what might happen in the future, then you are unlikely to enjoy the present. But what if this future does not come, if the problem resolves itself, some circumstances change, etc.? It turns out that you were wasting precious time on empty thoughts. Wouldn't it be better to live for today and do more pleasant and useful things?
With whom you lead, from that you will gain. I hope that in your environment there are people from whom you can learn frivolity and a simple attitude to life. Learn from such friends: they never "wind up" themselves, do not suffer from long reflections, but simply live and take all the events in life for granted. Perhaps this is the secret of true happiness?

Hypersensitivity refers to excessive psychological vulnerability. It is expressed in increased sensitivity, anxiety, high susceptibility to any sensations. For a long time, such people were considered introverts, but modern research has shown that among hypersensitive people, only 70% are introverts, the remaining 30% are extroverts.

What other qualities are inherent in such people? “The nervous system of hypersensitive individuals is distinguished by a special sensitivity,” explains Ilse Sand, Danish writer, psychotherapist and bestselling author of "Close to the heart. How to live if you are too sensitive person" . We notice many nuances and analyze them deeper than everyone else. We have a rich imagination and a vivid imagination. Thanks to their active work, our "hard drive" fills up faster, and we experience overexcitation. There is nothing to worry about, but if you are hypersensitive, then in a situation of intense communication you will feel an overabundance of information earlier than ordinary people, which will cause a desire to withdraw and leave.

However, it is these traits, according to many psychologists, that can enrich the lives of hypersensitive people. “The cause of increased excitability lies in our overly sensitive nervous system, but thanks to it we are able to experience genuine joy,” notes Ilse Sand.

It is hypersensitivity that makes us more creative, responsible, sensitive and attentive to others (which they no doubt appreciate).

True, this medal has a reverse side. “Hypersensitives expect from others the same sensitivity that they show themselves, but in vain - most people are absolutely indifferent to the feelings of others. And it’s better to be prepared for this than to be horrified over and over again,” reminds Ilse Sand.

Too sensitive people: how to make your life easier

The first and most important thing to do, according to the author of the book, is admit that you are different from the rest, and stop considering your features as something bad.

The second important step is be more gentle . As Ilse Sand notes, very sensitive people often have high standards for themselves and low self-esteem. “High standards must be strictly controlled, otherwise there is a high probability of mental overstrain. You need to focus on your own life principles and start the process of pacification. The rest is a matter of practice, says Ilse Sand. “Feeling that you can be yourself and not have to be overly helpful will have a positive effect on your self-esteem.”

* Find an activity you enjoy and return to it regularly. “Go for a walk and admire nature, pamper your senses with a bouquet of fragrant flowers, listen to good music, start journaling, write poetry or prose, spend time with someone you really care about,” writes Ilse Sand.

* Learn to say "no". In the absence of this skill, you will constantly suffer from overload and overwork. Don't worry: a politely worded rejection is unlikely to offend anyone.

* Don't wish for the impossible. “Maybe you have been reproaching yourself for many years in a row because you do not have enough strength for everything that others are doing. Or get angry at yourself and force yourself into activities that overload your nervous system. This happens because you refuse to come to terms with the peculiarities of your personality and want to prove that the level of your abilities is no different from the level of the abilities of most others, the Danish psychotherapist explains. - Stop going out of your way, proving to others that you are as strong as they are, allow yourself to be soft and sensitive, adjust your life exclusively for yourself and suddenly you will find that the state of happiness is very different from your usual feelings of eternal pursuit and fight."

Recognizing your characteristics and learning to live in accordance with them is perhaps the main step towards peace with yourself.

A chance meeting with a friend of youth, whom we have long lost sight of; emergency situation on the road; speaking in front of an unfamiliar audience; the long-awaited first "mom" or "dad" from the mouth of a child - many events daily awaken our emotions. We are embarrassed by them, afraid to look ridiculous from the outside, restrain ourselves and think that we control them. And yet, emotions keep getting the better of us.

Double standards

Perhaps the fact is that we grew up in a society where the ability to control our feelings - "rule ourselves" - has always been considered a virtue. Self-control, like a vigilant guardian, constantly reminds us: it is indecent to behave too emotionally, it is impossible to openly show our anger, it is necessary to hide our fear, restrain excitement and even joy.

Any strong emotional reaction may seem inappropriate, funny, even obscene and be perceived as a manifestation of our weakness.

There are not so many exceptions: it is the joy or anxiety experienced by many people at once who find themselves in certain circumstances. So, it's natural to shout and chant slogans together at a football stadium or empathize together at the TV screen, on which a tsunami wave sweeps away a peaceful beach. But, let's say, dancing in the office on the occasion of a promotion, to put it mildly, is not accepted - just as it is not customary to openly experience one's grief.

Rigid self-control creates a certain psychological comfort for us: ritualized manifestations of emotions somewhat soften the state of affect (strong short-term emotional experience) and regulate it. But at the same time, self-control is frustrating, creating a dangerous gap between how we feel and how we behave.

Through emotions, we express our true "I" and become more understandable to other people. In addition, emotions are necessary for us to survive.

Those who are prevented from living by their own emotionality sometimes try to “drown out” it with the help of a miraculous pill. Many blame their own parents for their, as they think, excessive sensitivity, who raised them “incorrectly”. But both do not know or forget how important the manifestation of emotions is for our lives. Thanks to them, we express our true "I" and become more understandable to other people. In addition, emotions are necessary for our survival.

In this sense, by suppressing our emotions, we literally put ourselves at risk, because each of them plays a special role.

Fear alerts us to real or imagined danger. It captures what is significant for our life at the moment. Fear not only receives information, but also gives commands to the body: directs blood to the legs, if you need to run, or to the head, if you need to think. As a rule, fear mobilizes our energy, although sometimes its effect is the opposite: it paralyzes us while we decide what to do in a particular situation.

Anger sometimes confused with the violence it can provoke. As a rule, this feeling covers a person when he suspects that he is not taken seriously (and some people live with this feeling all the time). But anger can also be useful: it causes the release of hormones (including adrenaline) into the blood, and they, in turn, provide a powerful burst of energy. And then we feel our strength, we feel courage and self-confidence. In addition, anger tells us that we have reached the point where we can no longer control ourselves - in a sense, it replaces the manifestation of violence.

Joy acts like a magnet: it attracts others and helps you share your feelings. It is also known that a smile and laughter have a healing effect, enhancing the body's immune defenses.

Woe helps to withdraw into oneself in order to survive the loss (of a loved one, some qualities in oneself, material objects ...) and return the energy of life. It allows you to “overcome yourself”, adapt to the loss and rediscover the lost meaning of what is happening. In addition, the experience of grief attracts the sympathy and attention of other people - and we feel more secure.

Joy- the most desirable emotion. It is she who releases the maximum amount of energy, stimulating the release of hormones of pleasure. We feel confidence, our own importance, freedom, we feel that we love and are loved. Joy acts like a magnet: it draws others to us and helps us share our feelings. It is also known that a smile and laughter have a healing effect, enhancing the body's immune defenses.

Mind and feelings

Another major virtue of emotions is that they make us smarter. For a long time, science in a sense devalued them, placed them below the thinking mind. After all, from the point of view of evolution, emotions were born in the depths of the “prehuman” archaic mind and are closely related to the instinctive behavior of animals. New parts of the cerebral cortex, which, in particular, are responsible for the processes of conscious thinking, appeared much later.

But today it is known that in its pure form the mind does not exist - it is fed by emotions. The American neurologist Antonio Damasio proved that knowledge that is not accompanied by emotions is fruitless, and an emotionally cold person is not able, for example, to learn from his mistakes. It is interesting that children and adults learn and remember something new only against the background of a positive and sufficiently strong emotional impulse, which, figuratively speaking, opens the door to a new area of ​​neural connections.

In a professional environment, the most successful are not specialists with many diplomas, but those who are able to analyze their feelings and manage both their own and other people's emotions

Perception also does not exist without emotion. Every word we perceive, every gesture, smell, taste, image is immediately "interpreted" by our senses. Without emotions, we would turn into automatons and drag out a rather colorless existence.

Psychologist Daniel Goleman introduced the concept of "emotional intelligence" into scientific circulation. He came to the conclusion that our personal success depends not so much on IQ, an indicator of intellectual development, but on the emotional quotient (EQ).

Based on experimental data, he proved that in a professional environment, it is not specialists with many diplomas who become the most successful, but those who have valuable human qualities - the ability to analyze their feelings and manage both their own and other people's emotions.

When such people, for example, ask for help to solve a problem, others readily respond, while “emotionally disabled” (with low EQ) can wait several days for an answer to their request ...

The voice of the unconscious

Emotions tell us the most important information about ourselves or about what we are dealing with, and therefore they should be trusted, listened to and rely on them. At first glance, this existential position seems to contradict the personal experience of many of us: more than once we have been mistaken, following the lead of feelings.

The greatest German philosopher Max Scheler explained this contradiction by the existence of two types of sensations. On the one hand, there are contact sensations that act like the mechanism of touch.

When we feel joy, we feel better, we can relax, we worry less, which means we are able to experience “more life”. If something upsets or angers us, we almost physically feel that our health and energy are being taken away from us - “part of life”. Contact feelings convey important information about the existential significance of what is happening for my health, my vitality. But such feelings (often coming from childhood) should not be relied upon in making decisions, it is important to be able to remove them, put them out of the brackets.

If you look back at your life, you will surely notice that all the most important and correct decisions in it were made relying on instinct: rational explanations usually come later.

Another kind of sensations - distant. They are not directly related to our current state, but they capture something very significant about the other person. This is a well-known intuitive feeling. It is it that prompts us to ask a loved one: “Did something happen to you?” Or orders: “We urgently need to call home!”

We are not taught to listen to distant feelings, but they allow us to instantly assess the atmosphere in a group of people, to form an impression of an interlocutor or a situation. If you look back at your life, you will surely notice that all the most important and correct decisions in it were made relying on instinct: rational explanations usually come later.

Trust in your emotions can and should be educated and trained. It is only important not to confuse contact feelings, which communicate about us personally, with distant ones, speaking about another person.

High voltages

When the power of experiences is too great, our psychological defense mechanisms turn on - and we no longer feel anything. Depression, apathy, stupor - this is how it looks from the outside, but from the inside, the person simply no longer hurts, as with anesthesia. We transform suppressed ("forgotten") emotions into bodily sensations, erasing the relationship between the emotional experience and what caused it.

Sometimes emotions take the form of their opposite. Sadness is sometimes expressed in euphoric excitement; joy - in tears; sometimes we can laugh out loud - if only despair does not crush us. Psychological defense mechanisms deplete our mental and physical strength and almost always turn out to be ineffective: at some point, true feelings break through and overwhelm us.

Those who successfully hide their emotions are also subject to their pressure. You can fake laughter, play anger, lie about your true feelings, but it’s still impossible to pretend forever: sooner or later they will come out. So it's better to be able to accept them for who they are.

You are quick-tempered or hypersensitive, notorious or paralyzed with fear ... Try to master some simple exercises that will help to harmonize your emotions.

You are notorious

You hold back, not allowing yourself to express either anger or joy ... Your behavior has a motive that is not easy for you to recognize. The way out is to “let go” of yourself, to release your feelings.

Try to express feelings with gestures

Words are important, but 90% of our emotions are expressed by facial expressions, by the body. A smile, posture, gestures - even a simple shrug of the shoulders says more about our attitude to what is happening than long speeches ...

Recognize the existence of emotions

If a child is afraid of wolves, it is useless to convince him that they are not found in our forests. Accepting his feelings, parents may ask: “What can I do to calm you down?” There is no shame in being afraid, there is no need to be ashamed of fears.

None of our emotions are dangerous, they are our allies, from whom you should not constantly expect a dirty trick.

Keep a diary

You are paralyzed by fear

The higher the "bets" (i.e., the more you lose when you lose and the greater the reward for winning), the more you panic. You are so afraid of failure that you mentally draw the most catastrophic scenarios, and you give up. The way out is to master your feelings and overcome the "paralysis" of the will.

Who is the person who inspires fear in you? Maybe the teacher who tormented you as a child, or the neighbor who wouldn't let you through? Each stressful situation awakens in us the memory of one that we experienced in the past, often in the first six years of life. And the feeling of fear that we could not overcome returns to us again.

Breathe right

Concentrate on your breathing: lengthen your exhalations and shorten your inhalations to neutralize your internal sensations.

Remember your successes

About, for example, how you brilliantly passed an exam or won a tennis set from a friend. By building on past successes and the pleasures associated with them, you can overcome the desire to see catastrophic scenarios of events that have not yet taken place.

Prepare for the test

Consider possible options for the event, determine what you want to achieve in any case, and what you can give in to ... This will help you better control your emotions.

Look at the interlocutor, but not directly in the eyes, but at the point between them

You will be able to focus on what you say, and not on what you read in his eyes ...

You are hot-tempered

The way out is to learn how to control your feelings and manage a conflict situation.

Do not accumulate claims

The more you accumulate them in yourself, the more you risk breaking loose. By speaking out about your grievances, you are helping yourself avoid outbursts of unbridled anger.

Learn to Express Feelings Clearly

Name the feeling that bothers you. Without complaining or blaming, say openly: "I'm having problems at work, I'm stressed out and don't know what to do."

Pause

The brain needs time to make a decision and take control of the situation. Relax the solar plexus: inhaling deeply, hold your breath for a few seconds, exhale and wait before inhaling again. From time to time close your eyes for 2-3 seconds: turning off visual signals reduces tension.

American psychotherapist Haim Ginott advises to build your statements according to the scheme: “When you did (a) X, I felt (a) Y, and at that moment I wanted you to do (a) Z.” For example: “When you reproached me for being late, I felt guilty. It would be better if you hugged me instead of scolding me.

Lend a helping hand

Before you respond with aggression to aggression, ask the “aggressor”: “Is something wrong with you?” Or offer him a truce: "I'm starting to get nervous, let's take a break, cool down."

You are hypersensitive

You react sharply to both critical remarks and compliments. The way out is to establish a balanced relationship with people.

Don't focus on yourself

You worry too much about what others think of you. Try to step away from yourself a little and show empathy (empathy). Learn to put yourself in the other person's shoes. What is he thinking about? What is going through? This change of perspective helps to change the strategy of the relationship.

Don't try to be loved by everyone

Sometimes it’s worth taking a chance and agreeing that someone will not like your actions, but will complicate someone’s life. It is impossible to avoid manifestations of rivalry, antipathy, incompatibility of characters. The more clearly you realize this, the easier it will be for you to accept it, and the harder it will be for others to deceive you.

Try to find "trigger" situations

Make a list of situations in which you are especially vulnerable and words that provoke your inappropriate behavior. Faced with them again, you can recognize them and not get confused.

Avoid categorical forecasts

Addressing yourself in a commanding tone (“I have to make a career!”) Or in a minor tone (“I will probably live all my life alone (on) ...”) is not good for you: you feel the weight of guilt for your troubles, and this weakens your vitality and does not allow you to tune in to victory.

Any word can offend him, a minor failure can make him cry, and a small quarrel can lead to serious moral trauma. What is a very sensitive person called? How to call a vulnerable person and what is behind these experiences? Why is the state of mind of some people so precarious?

An individual with a fine mental organization, sensitive to everything that happens in life, is called - sentimental person. This characteristic is most often referred to as a character trait. Moreover, both congenital and acquired.

What is the name of the vulnerable person - who are these people

It is believed that sentimental people are, first of all, creative personalities. Representatives of art professions: artists, writers, stylists, fashion designers. It is these people who are able to notice the little things and attach great importance to them.

Sentimentality is directly, and most obviously, seen in females.

A vulnerable person can be identified from an early age. It is extremely rare that this character trait changes over the course of life - most likely, only its concealment is possible.

By the way, guys love to wear masks of “anti-sentimentality”. However, very often a quite soft, quivering personality can stand behind a stone face.

Why a person is sentimental - reasons for deep sensitivity

As already written earlier, sentimentality is a trait that is determined in a person from birth. However, there are times when a characteristic comes with age. This could be due to several factors:

• A serious shock, an event affecting loved ones or one's own personality;
• Midlife crisis, rethinking of life, contributions, lived years;
• Hormonal disruptions, pregnancy, puberty.

By the way, a shaky, sensitive state of mind is not something shameful, bad. As a rule, vulnerable people are more "human", attentive and reverent to what is happening around.