In the article you will learn:
How to calm a person in hysterics by psychological methods?
Hello friends! Have you had to deal with inappropriate behavior of close people, friends? I had to. And it was not the most pleasant occupation. Then I was confused and did not understand what to do, how to calm a person in hysterics. Firstly, it was scary for him - it is not known what he will do. Secondly, it is terrible to feel your own impotence when you really want to help.
But that was a long time ago. We all get a bit blown away by the winds of change sometimes. And now I know how to provide first aid to the victim, I know how, I practice. And, of course, I'm happy to share my findings with you.
Don't let the hurricane blow
A person who is in a hysterical fit screams a lot, speaks emotionally, may cry, make nervous movements and rash acts. The deep purpose of such behavior is demonstrative, the desire to involve in one's own volcano of experiences.
Therefore, the task of the one who is nearby is to extinguish it at the stage of conception. But not words, in this case they may not help, but, on the contrary, harm. Any response, especially the same emotional and negative one, can provoke the further development of a nervous breakdown.
To calm a person, you need to give valerian or bring ammonia in the very first minutes. Any sedative, except alcohol! Also stick to the rule, silence is golden. That is, do not try to calm down verbally and, moreover, do not get excited in this situation yourself, do not swear and do not shout.
Better hug tightly and wait until the emotions subside. After a couple of minutes, start gently, calmly asking questions and discussing the problem.
Intensity of emotions
If the process does not stop and there is no reaction to your attempts, then you will have to resort to harsh methods. When a person is trembling and shaking, there is no point in hugging and reassuring. Actions are needed that will distract a person from his condition.
To stop the tantrum, we need to ask distracting questions that will turn on the logic of our mentally affected person. Ask about work, kids, things that are not related to the problem. Try to turn on the brains of the "crazy". This method, by the way, is good if you have to reassure a person over the Internet.
If the attempt is hopeless, proceed to physical actions:
- clap your hands
- press on the painful point just below the elbow bend
- slap but be careful not to be bitten
- shake your shoulders two or three times
- splash a glass of water
- pour water under the shower
- drop a chair
- jump on the windowsill, table
Such distractions can pull a person out of his state and calm the raging nerves. After that, you should give short commands “Drink water!”, “Come with me!”, “Lie down!”, They also contribute to the restoration of a normal psyche.
Since after a tantrum, as a rule, a breakdown occurs, then, in accordance with the commands, give a glass of cold water or hot tea and put to bed. Now you can console with words, support, encourage, talk. But, in no case do not read morals and do not teach! “I told you”, “I warned you” - such phrases should not be.
Safety
When trying to stop inappropriate behavior, think about safety rules:
1. Never leave a person alone. Be there if the tantrum continues. An exception may be when the process has just begun and you can return to the victim at any time faster than 1 minute.
2. Remove all dangerous objects from the premises. Especially a lot of them in the kitchen. Therefore, hide the knives and forks, or take the person to another room.
3. At the beginning of the article, I mentioned that the hysteria was caused by demonstrative reasons, so it is necessary to clear the room from all third parties. And if the tantrum occurred on the street or in the crowd, then take them to a secluded place. Deprive the actor of his audience.
Think also about the psychological safety of a person who has been unsettled. After he has calmed down, be sure to talk to him about the problem. Do not leave him alone with his misfortune. Do not lead conversations in a different direction, but listen calmly and carefully.
I emphasize that it is important not to become infected with other people's emotions. Avoid excessive sympathy, pity. If necessary, let me cry. But think about your own condition, do not take everything to heart.
In addition, do not give any recommendations in this situation and do not offer solutions to the problem. Because at the moment there is a process of awareness of what happened. To solve this in any way, a person is now not able to. And your suggestions can only cause a new wave of experiences.
If a child is hysterical
For infants, loud crying is a signal of discomfort, pain, unmet need. For older children, crying, hysteria is often a way of manipulating parents to get what they want.
And, as a rule, it is very difficult for parents to calm down a raging child. No matter how they persuade, or exhort or threaten, nothing happens. Over time, such manipulations become a habitual pattern of behavior.
The task of mothers and fathers is to accustom their child to the fact that not all of his desires can come true. How to stop the violent protests of the baby?
1. Parents should master themselves first. It makes no sense now to explain to the child the reasons for the refusal, to yell at him and attack him. Moreover, there is no need to punish! If it's difficult, move away from him. But without emotional outbursts and comments, calmly.
2. If you see that your child is frightened by his own reaction and "crazy", then hug him, provide support. Explain, if he does not show irritation, that this happens and it will pass. The kid should not worry about this.
3. Next, distract the child with a game, an interesting cartoon, a treat. And don't focus on what happened.
4. Unfortunately, most often children begin to behave uncontrollably in shops, clinics, on the street. In this case, you need to go to where there are fewer people and turn away from the crying child. Deprived of spectators, he will quickly stop making noise.
In addition to the fact that the main task is not to be led to provocations, parents must understand why their little blood does this. Perhaps this is the only way to express their desires when parents are too authoritarian. Then you should reconsider your attitude towards the child and become more democratic.
Or she does this because she does not know how to show her emotions. In this case, you need to teach it. For example, talk about the emotions that the child is experiencing. “Now you are annoyed, but this is temporary”, “I see that you are angry now”, etc.
Preventive measures
The best way to deal with stressful situations for adults and children is to avoid them. Of course, we cannot influence events that do not depend on us. For example, difficulties at work, accidents or the loss of a loved one. But many nervous conditions can be avoided by discussing problems in time.
Do not wait for them to accumulate and explode, but to speak out, to show emotions towards them. Throw out everything that is unpleasant to the soul. If necessary, contact a specialist in time. Or use those psychological methods that I told you about today.
With love to you, June!
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We all know how hard it is to be in a situation where you need to comfort someone, but there are no right words.
Fortunately, more often than not, people don't expect specific advice from us. It is important for them to feel that someone understands them, that they are not alone. So first, just describe how you feel. For example, with the help of such phrases: “I know that it’s very hard for you now”, “I’m sorry that it’s so hard for you.” So you will make it clear that you really see what a loved one is feeling now.
2. Confirm that you understand these feelings.
But be careful, do not draw all the attention to yourself, do not try to prove that you were even worse. Briefly mention that you have also been in a similar situation before, and ask more about the condition of the one you are comforting.
3. Help a loved one sort out the problem
Even if a person is looking for ways to resolve a difficult situation, first he just needs to speak out. This is especially true for women.
So wait to offer solutions to the problem and listen. This will help the person you are comforting to sort out their feelings. After all, sometimes it is easier to understand your own experiences by talking about them to others. Answering your questions, the interlocutor can find some solutions himself, understand that everything is not as bad as it seems, and simply feel relieved.
Here are some phrases and questions that can be used in this case:
- Tell me what happened.
- Say what's bothering you.
- What led to this?
- Help me understand how you feel.
- What scares you the most?
At the same time, try to avoid questions with the word "why", they are too similar to condemnation and will only anger the interlocutor.
4. Do not minimize the suffering of the interlocutor and do not try to make him laugh
When we are faced with the tears of a loved one, we, quite naturally, want to cheer him up or convince him that his problems are not so terrible. But what seems trifling to ourselves can often upset others. So don't minimize the other person's suffering.
And if someone really worries about a trifle? Ask if there is any data that diverges from his view of the situation. Then offer your opinion and share an alternative way out. Here it is very important to clarify whether they want to hear your opinion, without this it may seem too aggressive.
5. Offer physical support if appropriate
Sometimes people do not want to talk at all, they just need to feel that there is a loved one nearby. In such cases, it is not always easy to decide how to behave.
Your actions should correspond to the usual behavior with this or that person. If you are not too close, it will be enough to put a hand on your shoulder or lightly hug. Also look at the behavior of the other person, perhaps he himself will make it clear what he needs.
Remember that you should not be too zealous when comforting: a partner may take this for flirting and be offended.
6. Suggest ways to solve the problem
If the person only needs your support and not specific advice, the above steps may be sufficient. By sharing your experiences, your interlocutor will feel relieved.
Ask if there is anything else you can do. If the conversation takes place in the evening, and most often it does, offer to go to bed. As you know, the morning is wiser than the evening.
If your advice is needed, ask first if the other person has any ideas. Decisions are made more readily when they come from someone who is in a contentious situation. If the person you are comforting has a vague idea of what can be done in their position, help develop concrete steps. If he does not know what to do at all, offer your options.
If a person is sad not because of any particular event, but because he has, immediately proceed to a discussion of specific actions that can help. Or offer to do something like go for a walk together. Excessive thinking will not only not help get rid of depression, but, on the contrary, will aggravate it.
7. Promise to continue to support
At the end of the conversation, be sure to mention again that you understand how hard it is for a loved one now, and that you are ready to continue to support him in everything.
Situations in life happen completely different, while not always the psyche can calmly cope with what is happening, then you need the help of those who are nearby. Confusion from the need to somehow stabilize the state of another person is quite understandable, especially when it is not clear how to calm a person with words at a distance, because removing the cause of the experience can not only be overwhelming, but possibly unnecessary.
Most of all, I want to calm a crying person, because everyone's own psyche is arranged in such a way that the sight of other people's tears is unbearable. However, we do not take into account those reactions where strong experiences and destructive processes of the psyche can occur without tears and loud contritions.
In a difficult moment
It is possible to help a person overcome difficult experiences without arranging special rescue operations and without completing courses in crisis psychology - the main thing is to show attentiveness and sensitivity. Do not rush to take action and give advice on how to calm down, but listen to the situation. The more a person speaks out, the more the emotional intensity decreases, there are situations when, having told your problem to several friends in a row, negative emotions go away, the significance of bad events decreases, or the relevance of what is happening is completely lost.
Even if the situation is more complicated and requires real intervention, then after your careful and active listening, with supportive statements and clarifying questions, a plan for getting out of this situation may develop or a certain rethinking will come. But it’s also not worth getting hung up on problems - it’s one thing to tell your friends what is happening in order to throw out burning emotions, and the situation develops completely differently if you allow a person to constantly wind himself up with retellings of what happened. As soon as you notice that the mention of a painful situation causes worsening rather than emotional relief, gently change the subject of the conversation, distracting from the discussion on the knurled topic. It is even better to distract and calm the person with activity.
Participation and an offer to help, moreover, expressed in a direct form, helps to calm a person during a panic attack. You can ask how to help or offer your options for a person right now, even the little things (bring water, wrap a blanket, give a ride home, etc.).
And don't forget about physical contact - a hug, a friendly pat on the shoulder, a touch on the hand can do much more than any words. If a problem arises, how to calm a person at a distance, then contact techniques are not available, however, you can influence the emotional background of a person using your own voice, namely volume and intonation. Try to speak measuredly, a little drawling, bringing your voice closer to the one who falls asleep, both in terms of volume and intonation. The instinctive mechanisms of the psyche work, that it is impossible to sleep in danger, and if you fall asleep, then it is safe, then the other person has a subconscious perception of what is happening as less threatening.
In an emergency
The problem of extreme situations is that people who have known each other for a long time in different event variants give out completely unpredictable reactions. The most common reactions are panic and hysteria. You need to work with them in different ways.
If a person is covered, then focusing on breathing and nearby objects will help to calm down. Initially, his breathing will need to be controlled by you, i.e. talk about the need to take a breath, make sure that they are not too deep (hyperventilation leads to loss of consciousness, which is already narrowed in panic) or too frequent (a small amplitude of breaths can increase anxiety). 
Move the person’s attention from abstract concepts or attempts to evaluate a general stop to his well-being - warmth in the limbs, comfortable posture, ask to do some small work (fold things, type a message).
You will have to get out of the stupor by physical methods, easily shaking or shaking the person. Immediately after the withdrawal from the stupor, all pent-up feelings may rush, and hysteria will come. Here it is necessary to silently listen to any text spoken, even with threats and insults addressed to you (you will hear apologies later, when the person stabilizes emotionally). If the hysteria turns into threatening motor activity, then the task is solely to contain destructive impulses - perhaps with hands, you can pour water over it.
In extreme events, the question of how to calm a drunk person is especially important, because the harm from his rash and over-emotional reactions can lead to catastrophic consequences. Suitable methods of dealing with hysteria - listen or pour water when you notice that a person ceases to control his behavior completely. Control your own behavior - you need to remain calm, speak exclusively on business. Choose neutral phrases to calm the person, in which it is impossible to provoke a new emotional outburst. And there is also a secret way - to pretend that you do not notice the drunk, so you deprive him of emotional feedback and the person either calms down or moves further away in search of those who will support his wave.
With the loss of a loved one
The death of a loved one from illness, on predictable dates or due to extreme situations, when it happens unexpectedly, always has a strong frustrating effect on those left to live. In addition to the immediate relatives of the victims, those who will try to help them and somehow reassure them are also subject to secondary traumatization. This explains the stupor of many and the inability to find the right words to calm a person.
There is no recipe that can remove the pain of loss and calm a person who has lost a loved one in one magical phrase or action, but you can help another to live through grief and return to their lives by forming new interaction models. Do not try to distract a person from what happened with other conversations or proposals for activities - in the first period, all the same, all thoughts will be devoted only to death, and your attempts can lead to suspension. If there are no words, then it is better to sit next to you and be silent, and you can start talking only when the living grief turns to you, but it is better to listen to what he will tell you.
Your task is to show that you are there and can provide support. It is important not to say this phrase, but to make it clear on completely different levels - maintain constant contact. You can call on the phone and ask if the person has food, if you need help in closing accounts and processing the papers of the deceased, call in and drive where necessary. Those. you do not focus on what happened with questions about how you feel and how hard it is after the loss. Perhaps one day, when the person himself becomes ready to talk, he will call and ask for a meeting. Then be prepared for tears and hard feelings, with which you don’t need to do anything, it’s enough to listen, but listen carefully.
What not to do
Since the suffering of others is unbearable for those around, and the desire to calm a person increases to the maximum and requires any decisive action, many stop worrying about who really needs to be calmed now and make mistakes. Remember how a mother screams at a crying child, trying to calm him down in this way, as a result, all participants in the situation get excited. It is worth listening to the sensations and moving away, if you find yourself unstable - let others calm you down.
You can not devalue the cause of a person’s disorder, because it can hurt a lot. Those. those who mourn for the dead do not need to be told that now they are better or it should have happened, and a woman going through a divorce should not be told about her beauty and unworthiness of a man, because self-esteem is now at the bottom bar, and suffering from his absence is painful.
If you are going to help, then stay, and do not leave with the phrase that you will come at the first call. When a person needs reassurance, he cannot always adequately test reality in order to understand what kind of help he needs, and he can also fall into such a deep depression, pick up the phone and not remember the phone number.
When you compare the suffering of a person with others (starving children of Africa, the disabled, the homeless), in an attempt to show that someone is now much worse, then at best you will not be heard. With a more adequate response, you can learn an aggressive reaction or provoke a desire to emotionally shut down. When you personally have already got the suffering or tantrums of another, then exclude yourself from the situation, and do not start ordering the person to calm down or switch. Believe me, if a person could do this, he would have done it long ago.
Sample phrases on how to calm a person with words
The right words can be a real healing force. The first thing to remember is that all wording should convey a positive moment, but without going too far. You can remember positive stories about a dead person instead of advice to quickly distract yourself.
For example:
“I can’t go through this pain instead of you, but I can live this pain with you, together we will endure everything”
“I'm sorry about what happened. How can I help?"
“Accept sincere condolences for the loss, we remember with the warmest words ___!”
“We are sorry for your loss! The news of the death of ___ shocked our entire family.”
“Words cannot convey all the pain and sadness. We sincerely sympathize with your entire family!”
“Shocked by the sad news, we share the pain of loss. Golden man ___, what few! We will always remember ___!
If a person is simply in a difficult situation, and you understand that he will overcome it, then words of support about holding on or not giving up are quite appropriate - here they will be in place. In difficult cases, you can encourage by asking about your participation and help, or you can help the person clarify the situation for himself.
For example:
"You can count on me"
"Your failure is the springboard to success"
"I'm here to help"
“I believe in you, you will survive everything”
"The finish is the start of something new"
“One stage has ended, a new one will begin”
When you see that your friend has closed in on himself and can only talk about the problem that torments him, then translate the topic - talk about butterflies and plans for the weekend. If they don’t keep up a conversation with you on their own, then involve them with questions - ask for an opinion on your new suit and the planned conference, ask them to tell you something related to the professional sphere of a friend.
Not so much semantic as affectively rich phrases help to calm a person in hysterics. Those. a quiet and calm begging a person to think about his behavior can be useless, but a terrible cry with an order to shut up can easily bring to life.
If a person is sane, his actions are adequate to what is happening, but it’s hard for him, then discuss his feelings with him more. It is not your advice and words that are valuable here, but the opportunity for a person to be in the center of attention, to feel true support, when all the time and space is dedicated to him.
Remember that not only words will help to calm a person, but silence and hugs can divide and reduce sadness, calm down, and bring back a vivid experience of emotions.
Who among us hasn't had a hard time at least once in their life?
There are times when we despair and hysteria.
In this case, it is important that there is a person nearby who is ready to listen and support.
How to calm a person?
in hysterics
How to calm a crying person? At times in a person, you can resort to some measures that will help to cope with this condition.
Depressed
It is very difficult to communicate with a person suffering from. After all, it's not just that it will linger for a few days, this condition can last for months..
All that you can do for a person is just to be there all the time, to go through this difficult path together.
Remember that you need help after the end of the "acute phase" when a person becomes easier and he gradually returns to life.
Be there all the time.
Even if it seems to you that a person does not need it and he does not understand at all that you are nearby.
Help him. You will have to collect all your patience, refrain from any advice, they are absolutely not needed for a depressed person.
Bring more light into his room, bring fresh flowers. Try to cook his favorite food. Let him know that he is not alone and should not be afraid to be alone. Say nice things to him more often. Show more tenderness hug him.
Most importantly, be sincere. Speak only what you feel, do not pretend. After all, the patient can understand this, and this will aggravate his recovery.
What cheers up a girl? Learn about it from ours.
In anger
There are 4 main ways to help calm an angry person:
A person whose relative dies
How to comfort a person who has lost a loved one? If you do not and do not know how to behave in such a situation, then it would be best to bring a person who has experienced it.
But the meeting must be organized unobtrusively. Tell carefully that there is a person with the same problem, and he will be able to help.
If a person is a believer, then you can seek help from a priest. The help of a specialist in psychology also does not hurt.
If you knew the deceased, then remember him together. If you have shared memories, it's time to talk about them. Remember only positive things that bring you joy. And, of course, only good things need to be said.
And most importantly, you just need to be there.
Be there and listen. Lots of listening. Do not console and force to rejoice.
A person who has lost a loved one will cry and suffer, will repeat the same thing over and over. But you just need to listen to it.
Help with chores and other chores. Important in this difficult time just be there all the time. The person needs to feel supported. This will be the best consolation.
Beloved
It is important for a loved one to know that you are there and ready to support him. Find out the reason why he is upset, hug him. The main thing is to let him talk.
Listen carefully to him, he must know that you are really interested in his problems, and not just pretending. Therefore, periodically repeating that you understand it.
Women or girls
Women tend to be more emotional than men. There are several ways to help them deal with tantrums.
How to calm a girl if she is crying?
You don’t need to immediately find out the reason, you just need to come up and hug.
Stroke on the head, gently kiss and hug. Gently ask her what happened.
In no case should you laugh at her tears or the reason why she cries, even if she seems frivolous to you. Show her that you care and understand.
Say only nice words to her. You can do some romantic act or make an unexpected surprise.
How to calm your wife?
Stay calm and reserved, no need to shout and try to prove anything.
During a period of hysteria, try to stay one on one with your wife.
Try to talk, ask a distracting question, and then ask her what happened. Give her a big hug and only say nice things to her.
How to calm a girl at a distance, for example, in VK? At a distance, reassuring a girl is much more difficult, if possible - call her, she should speak out, and you console her with pleasant words, express your support to her.
If this is not possible, then write to her VK, ask her to talk about the problems. Also write her words of support.
How to calm down a girl who was dumped by a guy?
First of all, make her go outside, you can go to some cafe or just to nature.
It will be useful for her to be among people, and not sit in her room and cry.
Do not leave her alone with your bad thoughts, distract her with something. But in no case should you immediately introduce her to someone, this will cause unpleasant associations and will not lead to anything good.
You should not say the phrase "You will find better", it usually does not help. Forget about alcohol, it will only aggravate the situation, drinking, feelings will flood over her and she may call her ex.
How to calm a friend who broke up with her husband? You need to be prepared for a huge stream of tears. The main thing is to listen and support. Bring lots of sweets, nothing like chocolate.
Make her go out for a walk. During a walk, you need to distract your girlfriend with some topics.
Together you can remember funny stories that happened to you during your friendship. You can go shopping together or arrange a spa vacation.
Men or guy
It is believed that men are less emotional than women. But this is not entirely true. They just hide all their emotions deep inside. And this should not be done.
How to calm your husband?
You need to remain calm and positive, you should not sit next to your husband and start crying, such behavior will only make him worse.
Feed him delicious and favorite food. You can arrange a romantic evening.
Listen carefully to him, express words of support and hug him tightly. If a man demands that you leave him alone, then do it. But if he does not tell you anything, then be there.
How to calm a guy down when he's angry? Do not immediately say something to him, first you need to listen to him. No need to try to calm him down and tell him not to get angry.
It's best to let it cool down. When the anger passes, distract him from his problems with a delicious dinner and transfer the topic in a different direction.
How to calm a guy down when he's feeling bad? No need to try to extort from him the reasons why he feels bad. It's better to hug and hug. There will come a time when he himself will tell. Feed the guy delicious food and offer to watch some together.
How to calm a friend? Be a good listener. Let him know that you are interested in his problems. Do whatever you can to make your friend feel comfortable. In no case do not tell him that his problems are not so terrible already, that it can be worse.
You should not give unnecessary advice, if a friend asks him, then only say what you think is necessary.
How to calm your son? Express all your motherly love to him. Do not impose your questions, express understanding. Feed your son's favorite dish and tell him that everything will work out and everything will be fine.
What words to calm a man?
It is important for a man to know that you support him.
Say the following to him:“You are strong”, “I know you can handle it”, “You will succeed”, “I will always be there and will always support you”, “You can rely on me”, “If something is wrong, it's okay , Everything will be alright".
Everyone has bad times. It is important that he has people who ready to help at any time. After all, support is so easy, and from time to time, we all need it.
How to properly support a loved one:
During the day, a person experiences many feelings, emotions, some of them we can control, and some are extremely difficult to give in to this. How to cope with uncontrollable emotions that have gone beyond the normal behavior and emotional state of a person, such as hysteria, despair, emotional breakdown? How to help a person when he is in a state of hysteria or complete despair?
At such moments it is very important that someone is close to the person experiencing such powerful emotions.
The first thing you need when a person is already immersed in a state of hysteria, melancholy, sadness, it's just hug him, firmly and with love, because it’s not easy for a person now. And at this moment no words are needed, sit like this until the emotions subside.
Then carefully, without interrupting, listen to the person, sincerely show interest in his problem, enter his position. It is necessary that a person speaks out, as if he spoke his problem, with details. During the conversation, emotions may rage again, a second wave of hysteria, but be patient, calming again.
During a conversation, a person is still on the verge of a breakdown and therefore choose your words carefully so as not to offend than this raging "volcano" of emotions. Phrases such as "Be taller", "Yes, these are such trifles" or "Pull yourself together!" leave them for later, they can only make a person ashamed of his condition. He will understand that his behavior has gone beyond the bounds of decency, and will turn his problem inward, which should not be allowed in such situations.
There are two options: either do not bring yourself to such states, or if it has already happened, completely let this state manifest itself by going outside. Therefore, the best option would be to calmly listen to a friend, occasionally agreeing with him and fully entering into his position, into the situation in which he finds himself. So he gradually calms down. Do not pretend to be indifferent, try to understand, because you could be in his place in the same situation, and you would also want warmth and attention at such moments.
Perhaps your interlocutor will need help, advice, so ask if you can help him in this situation. Sometimes just being with that person is enough.
After such an emotional outburst help the person come to a normal state, distracting him from the problem. If possible, go to nature together, cook something special, watch a comedy.
Such emotional states are very morally draining of a person, your task is to support and help restore balance. Sometimes it's hard to deal with yourself alone.
Sometimes, the tantrum goes far and lasts more than an hour. What to do in such situations?
Start asking distracting simple questions, a person will gradually begin to answer them, turn on logical thinking and, thereby, lower his emotional outburst. This quickly relieves affective tension and leads to a sober assessment of the situation.
With prolonged tantrums, which can last for hours and almost lead to physical fainting, extreme measures must sometimes be used.
In such cases, you can try to bring the person back to their senses in a harsh way - slap the face, pull the hand sharply, or do something similar. It will come as a bit of a shock to him, but it will help distract him from the state he has sunk so deep into. This will bring the person “to the surface” for a while and help regain self-control over himself.
It is here that it is necessary to force a person to speak out his condition, problem, situation in which he finds himself. Next, support, as described above, and help find a solution to the problem or a way out of the current situation.
Sometimes, a person comes to a standstill and begins to struggle from impotence, finding no way out. But the look of "from the side" of another person can easily find it. Tell the person or share your thoughts about this, and then the interlocutor will be able to handle it himself.
What should not be done in such situations?
Firstly, at such times it is inappropriate to teach, instruct or lecture a person: “I told you that you need to be afraid of him / you need to be careful / you can’t do that.” This will only awaken in him a sense of guilt, which will aggravate his situation and make his condition worse.
Secondly, after listening to the interlocutor's story, you should not mention your problem, which seems to you similar to yours. . This takes the conversation in a different direction, turning on yourself, you leave a frustrated person unattended. There is no need to compare problems, assess the situation, reduce the significance of what happened, or, on the contrary, exaggerate the scale of what happened. Yes, our problems are all similar in their essence, but still they have their own characteristics and they should not be equated with one brush. It is better to try to understand the situation of a friend and advise based on the data collected.
And finally, one more piece of advice for those who are close to a person who is in an emotional state.
Don't let yourself sink into the same state. Entering into the position of the interlocutor does not mean adopting his emotional state, but simply trying to understand his position. It is no secret that emotions are transmitted, but try not to get involved in them, otherwise you will not be able to help your interlocutor in any way by entering the same state. Be carefull.
Following our advice, you will help your interlocutor quickly calm down and start thinking constructively to solve the problem.
