Recent requests for help. Dead end in life: find a way out

In recent years, suicide cases have become more frequent in the world. More than a million people voluntarily die every year. The most remarkable thing here is that suicide knows no age limits. Today, both a ten-year-old child and an adult, an accomplished person, can decide to take this step.

Suicide threats are heard in almost any difficult situation for a person: parents do not allow playing computer games, which is no reason to take one's own life; they didn’t buy a new fur coat, why not threaten suicide; fell out of love with a young man, the best way to take revenge is to jump off the roof ...

Unfortunately, the list can be continued for quite a long time, because today suicide is no longer a mortal sin, and is perceived as something exciting and interesting.

What is it, a sinister fashion trend or psychological problems of the individual?

People who talk or think about suicide can be roughly divided into two categories:

1. Consider the threat of suicide as just a way to get what they want;

2. Perceive suicide as the only way to solve a problem situation.

Representatives of the first category are people for whom life itself, personal needs and desires are of value, and therefore a voluntary consent to part with all this is unlikely on their part. And speculating on suicide can only say that a person using such methods of manipulation is a little “stuck” in childhood, where “all means are good” to achieve the goal.

As for the second category of people, here the situation is much more serious, because they have in their minds a distorted understanding of the solution to the problem. And when the "boiling point" is reached, they are really capable of committing suicide.

A distorted understanding is a delusion about something. Regarding suicide, perhaps the biggest misconception that pushes a person to commit it is the conviction that after death, painful suffering will certainly stop. Why am I talking about delusion here? Because death is not a "point of no return", on the contrary, it is the point from which everything is just beginning ... After all, even in the grave, people will have to be asked about everything that they have done in worldly life. And since suicide is an act forbidden to commit, as it is said in the Qur'an: Don't kill yourself! Verily, Allah is Merciful to you (forbidding you to do so) "(Sura" an-Nisa ", ayat 29), a person who decides on such disobedience provokes the wrath of the Lord, for which he will be punished even in the grave:" For someone, the grave will become one of the gardens of Paradise, and for someone - one of the pits of Hell ».

Moreover, committing suicide is not limited to a suicide only by violating the prohibition on causing harm to oneself. This act contains another aspect condemned from the point of view of Islam, namely, inflicting pain on loved ones, which arises as a result of the difficult experience of the voluntary departure from the life of a loved one.

Perhaps, standing on the edge of a cliff, holding a blade in your hands, putting a noose around your neck, it is worth at least for a moment to step back from your “universal grief” and imagine in your head a picture of what will happen after performing one of these actions. Imagine and try to determine: what is more tragic here - the problem itself or its “solution”.

Another important point in the issue of suicide is the lack of expediency in the act of committing it, due to the fact that everything a person does throughout life has a clear goal, in other words, expediency. A goal is a driving force aimed at obtaining a benefit. It is possible to achieve the goal only by performing certain actions related to the expenditure of energy resources, in other words, the physical strength of a person. In connection with this circumstance, it is extremely unprofitable for a person to act “idlely”, without a goal: both forces are expended and there is no benefit.

And what benefit can there be in inflicting grievous bodily harm on oneself? What would be the expediency of suicide, even if predatory animals kill only when they are hungry?

Suicide is not a way out of a problem situation, as many naively believe. Suicide is an escape from the problem through the back door!

As a result, the problem is not only not solved, but also aggravated.

But what if the suicide attempt fails, and the person remains disabled for life? Thinking about an untimely death, one should not lose sight of this outcome of events.

In the problem of developing suicidal thinking, one very sad fact cannot be ignored - this is the lack of religious and moral education.

The younger generation, neither at home, nor at school, nor in other social institutions, is told about the value of human life, that nothing ends after death, and that everyone will have to answer for everything they have done in this life. No one explains that problems need to be solved by making an effort, but not by running away from them two meters below ground level.

No one tells, explains... As a result, society gets a completely natural result - the curve of statistical indicators of suicide cases grows inexorably upwards...

May the Almighty save us from hasty decisions and big sins! And help to die obedient to Him alone!

Happiness to you in both worlds, dear brothers and sisters!

Because all this needs to be achieved long and painfully, at the cost of enormous efforts.

And what do you have for today? Are you studying, working, making friends with someone? What do you have today that would make you happy? The meaning of life is not only in unattainable goals. The joy of life can be found in the consciousness that, for example, you are doing an important and necessary thing and doing it well. It is possible to have a hobby that will help you find the whole world without leaving your home. A "smart, enlightened conversation" with a good friend works well. Or maybe not smart, and not enlightened, but just sincere. But there are few things in the world for which it is worth living more.

gernica, age: 11/22/2011

Personally, I don’t think so, Nicky. And in general, I don’t understand what happened? What provoked you to talk so gloomily? Well, you don’t want fame, money, travel, and you don’t need to. relatives or yourself, that you risk becoming disabled? You are now 19 years old. Do you really think that in 10 years you will turn into an aging woman and useless to anyone? At 29 years old, do you imagine yourself like that, or what? Yes! the course of your reasoning. I think you need a good psychotherapist. You would write in more detail about yourself. Maybe we can all help you. Otherwise, there is somehow little information and mostly only reasoning.

Antonina Anatolyevna from the College of Music, age: 65 / 11/16/2011

Nika honestly seems like half the text. Well, yes, not really. Well, it's not true! Do not be offended by me, you yourself re-read your letter.

In 10 years, you, girl, will be ONLY 29 years old! Age between youth and maturity! Where did you see 29 year old women? I'm over 50, and no one calls me an old woman. Come on, offend our snake!

I didn’t understand why you should want to find a soul mate, have children and have a lot of money? Is this relevant to you NOW? Right now they force you to get married, have children or spend millions? Or are you currently being sent to travel the world? By the way, why is travel stupid? What about scientific expeditions? What about pilgrimages? Somehow I don’t think that the participants of our Antarctic expeditions are stupid. Before that, they would have to stay alive and do the work!

My sun. I know very well one young woman (37 years old), she has two children, her husband. Job. So, at your age, she honestly believed that family, husband, children, diapers, dinners were not for her. Truth. she, unlike you, had confidence in her originality and her high calling. But! Somehow, imperceptibly for herself, she got married, gave birth to two children, and everything is normal with her calling! So, dear, we all don’t know what we ourselves want tomorrow, and you made a guess for 10 years!

In general, Nicky (Nika - victory), but you must be Veronica? Tell me in more detail why you don't want to live? As for what will happen in 10 years - this is not serious. What is wrong NOW? And what is your challenge TODAY? What happened? Study brought to exhaustion? Trouble with the profession? Parents don't understand? Tell me, people will advise something sensible!

In the meantime, advice will come, read the bookmarks at the top left (white arrows against the background of green circles). And up your nose, Nika! Let's break through!

Elena, age: 54 / 11/16/2011

Nicky, sorry, but what happened? Why are you so pessimistic? I practically didn’t understand anything. Why do you have such an attitude? If you describe your problem in more detail, then, probably, those who responded will be able to help you better and give more objective advice.

Aigul, age: 34 / 11/16/2011

You won’t be able to leave quietly, because after suicide you will go straight to hell, and there will be in full: torment, pain and suffering, and you can’t get away from this, it’s forever. If you wish yourself such an eternity, in the company of demons, then go ahead. And if you still think about why the Lord created you, then go to church, talk with the priest, let him pray for you, and pray to the Lord yourself, read the Bible, do good to other people, and interest in life will appear.

Good luck and may God bless you!

Aleana, age: 41 / 11/16/2011

Dear Niki, even if you do not believe in God and are not afraid to go to hell - think that no one will give you a guarantee that you will complete your plan - you can remain an invalid for life, bedridden for life.

Then your present worthless life will seem like real happiness.

Live some more, maybe in time you will find your own meaning for yourself - maybe you will become very necessary and necessary for someone.

Pray to the Lord to fill your life with meaning.

Help you Lord!

Same, age: 11/30/2011

Living for the peace of your loved ones is not nonsense at all. It’s not exactly the same thing to take your own life so as not to solve problems, it’s not quite the same thing to bury your head in the sand like an ostrich. Try to turn to God, Lord, I’m sure he will show you the meaning of life. but why don't you love yourself? Think about it, do you love your parents? Think about how they will live without you. I have seen a lot of parents who have lost their children, they are so heartbroken that their heart bleeds. Live and please your loved ones.

Fotina, age: 44 / 11/17/2011

Nicky, dear, well, don’t do what you don’t want. It’s not necessary for everyone to get married, especially if you don’t want to. You wait. Sit quietly, take a piece of paper, divide it in half and write on one half what you don’t want to, but on the other write what you would like (except what made you write this letter). Think well, well. Surely you want something. And so every day look for desires in yourself and fulfill them. There is only one condition - desires should only be good. Try! You are only 19 years old. Try to distract yourself with the pain of others. Do you know how many people need help? - You haven't done it yet. Try it!

Is suicide a way out of a hopeless situation?

Some people find a way out of very difficult situations by withdrawing from this world. I don't blame them in any way. It’s just a pity to tears, sometimes, that at that moment there was no one with a suicide who would dissuade and save from such a desperate step.

An angel is sent to people at such moments, but apparently not to everyone.

Of course, suicide is not an option. You can look for other ways, turn to someone you trust. Go to an anonymous forum, finally. And if a person is a believer, then remember, the Lord does not give trials beyond our strength. Although life is sometimes unbearable. You need to look for an outlet, get carried away with something, find new friends, help someone. And turn to face your loved ones. They will suffer greatly if they take such a fatal step.

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Suicide. how is the exit?

I, frankly, do not know any of these people, I do not know the reasons and prerequisites for their act, and now we will not talk about them at all.

For some reason, looking at these Topics of the day, I immediately remembered my friend. By nature, she is an extremely emotional, vulnerable little person, she deeply experiences joys, sorrows, ups and downs, plunges into feelings with her head.

Once she was unlucky to meet a bastard on her way. I can't name this person otherwise. She literally dissolved in him, and he allowed himself to be loved and, meanwhile, wiped his feet on his girlfriend. and he ended up leaving her.

For 3 months already I lived in terrible tension, because my friend began to have suicidal thoughts. She wanted to end her life, citing the fact that ". without him, the white light is not nice."

She survived it. Thanks to her friends who supported her, thanks to one man who emerged from her past, thanks to the pillows torn to fluff and feathers, on which she vented her anger.

The main thing is that she survived it and found another way out.

I want to ask you, my dear friends and readers:

Do you think there are situations from which the only way out is suicide?

5 suicide myths that keep you from finding a way out

A misconception about a problem will not solve it, but real facts and an open mind can save someone's life.

Suicide is a difficult topic for many people and rarely attracts public attention. Unless the cases of suicide of famous personalities become an occasion for discussing this global problem, and even then not for long.

But this uncomfortable topic should be brought up much more often, because the statistics on the number of suicides indicate that suicide can affect anyone.

About 800,000 people commit suicide every year, according to the World Health Organization (WHO). This means that every 40 seconds someone dies by suicide.

At the same time, it can be very difficult to prevent suicide, especially when a person does not want or cannot seek help, and society stigmatizes suicides, calling them sinners and selfish.

Nevertheless, raising public awareness about the problem of suicide can significantly affect the situation. The first priority to reduce the risk of such cases should be to destroy the myths about suicide and provide support to those who are close to it.

So, here are the top 5 misconceptions about suicide.

Suicide is not a global problem

The news rarely talks about cases of suicide, and in families where they occur, they do not like to talk about it. Most people don't realize that suicide is a real social problem until they experience it personally.

But WHO statistics show that suicide is still a matter of national health, and not rare special cases.

WHO data on the number of suicides in the world according to income. Source: Medical Express.

People who commit suicide can have any cultural background, gender, age and other characteristics. Although in some cultures and social groups, the level of suicide is higher.

But in fact, passive thoughts of suicide occur in most people at one time or another in life. We all sometimes think that we are unable to endure the pain and suffering that the world brings upon us.

If a suicide attempt fails, the person will not try again.

About 20% of those who commit suicide have had at least one unsuccessful attempt before. Moreover, people who have already tried to commit suicide are at increased risk and are more likely to try to do it again.

Any suicidal thoughts or behavior should be considered a serious cause for concern. For those experiencing a similar death wish, it is important to provide immediate support to prevent the transition from thought to action.

Therapy in combination with drug treatment successfully helps to avoid this and restores the patient's interest in life.

If a person decides to kill himself, there is no stopping him.

Most people who think about suicide don't want to die. They just want the pain they feel to end.

And although there are times when it is impossible to predict a suicide attempt, most often it can still be prevented if you take a closer look at the person and offer him help in time.

Suicidal thoughts often occur in people with depression, which is quite recognizable from the outside. You should not think that people come to suicide suddenly and without any prerequisites.

Be attentive to your loved ones and let them understand that pain and suffering can be ended not only by passing away.

Questions about suicide increase risk

If you see that someone may be close to suicide, do not be afraid that talking about it will push him to action.

On the contrary, a frank conversation about a problem can significantly reduce the risk of suicide and help a person understand that there is another way out.

It's best to ask directly if someone's behavior is causing you concern. Simply by giving a person the opportunity to speak out and listen to him, you can significantly alleviate his suffering and eliminate the risk of suicide in the near future.

As a result of an open discussion, it will be easier to convince the person that he needs to seek help.

People who talk about suicide don't commit suicide.

On the contrary, if someone shares their suicidal thoughts with you, most likely this person will try to make them a reality after some time.

Therefore, it is very important not to ignore such conversations, but to listen to what and how they tell you.

Many who have committed suicide somehow made it clear to others about their plans for a few days or weeks before their implementation.

So listening, offering support, and helping those who feel suicidal is always important. Sometimes it can save someone's life.

What is suicide and its main causes

Suicide is always an act of self-destruction of the individual by deliberately killing himself, and an incomplete suicide is called parasuicide. To help a suicidal person in time, you need to learn to recognize the markers of suicidal behavior.

The only way out or a weakness of character?

There is an opinion that a person who commits suicide is a weak person. But it is not always the case! Even strong people can have suicidal thoughts. Most parasuicidal (those who fail to kill themselves) say they did it because they were trying to get away from a traumatic situation or wanted relief from self-destructive thoughts and feelings. They didn't want to die so much as they wanted to run away from what was happening. And at that particular moment, death seemed to them the only way out. According to the famous psychologist Frankl, a potential suicide begins to be afraid not of death, but of life. And this is his fundamental difference from the ordinary person.

Naturally, suicide is not a way out even in the most critical situation, but many will agree that for a spiritual rebirth a person sometimes needs to reach the brink of despair. And celebrities are no exception. Here are some examples from the life of stars.

The famous singer Tina Turner was systematically beaten by her husband and producer for many years. Not wanting to live like this anymore, Tina tried to commit suicide in 1986. But after an unsuccessful attempt, she found the strength to end her marriage to Ike Turner and turned into a world-class star.

Film actress Drew Barrymore became famous as a teenage girl. She was introduced not only to alcohol but also to drugs early on, and suffered from bipolar disorder for many years. Drew first attempted to kill herself at age 14. But after working with a personal therapist, she managed to change her life and get rid of addictions.

Even Mike Tyson knows what suicide is! His promoter constantly deceived the boxer, at the same time he had to serve time in prison. A severe depressive state led this strong man to the fact that he tried to commit suicide with the help of drugs. Luckily, all problems are now behind us.

Suicide is not just something we hear about every day from friends, see on TV and read on the Internet. This is something that affects each of us. According to statistics, every fifth person in the world has been personally affected by the problem of suicide. Understanding what goes on in the mind of a suicidal person can help win the battle against the misconceptions that lead him to this final act of self-destruction.

The reasons

The reasons for suicide can vary. Some people who commit suicide try to avoid feelings of rejection, pain, or loss. Others experience intense shame, anger, or overwhelming guilt. Still others are concerned about the disappointment of friends or family members. And the fourth feel unloved, do not want to be a victim or a burden.

Often people commit suicide in traumatic situations, for example, after a divorce, a serious illness or loss of a job, but all this is more of a reason, not a reason for suicide. And the reasons must be sought in the psychological and social spheres, as well as in genetics.

Some mental illnesses, especially schizophrenia and bipolar disorder, greatly increase the risk of suicide. The level of self-destructive behavior is much higher in deviant families. Suicide is always closely related to integration into society. Suicide is more likely when a person suffers from a lack of social relationships, especially if the problem comes on suddenly. The suicide rate is much lower among the married than among the divorced, widowed and single. Science is also well aware that if one twin has made an attempt to kill himself, then the second twin has a sharp increase in the risk of suicide.

Do not think that suicidal people experience some kind of stronger life stresses. Rather, they have a kind of personality pathology that does not allow them to adequately cope with problems. From the very beginning, these people have many problems in life. Suicidal people are characterized by a higher percentage of mental disorders, more often abuse psychostimulant substances. But, despite this, suicide can occur in any family, including those that look quite safe.

At-risk groups

At that moment, when thoughts of suicide take hold of a person, he goes against himself. The suicidal person is, as it were, in a trance state, when he hears only a “critical inner voice” that pushes him to commit suicide. This Anti-Self is based on negative early life experiences, painful or traumatic events, and past destructive relationships. "Anti-Self" makes a person be self-critical, hate himself, and in the worst case, even commit suicide. The battle between the real person and the "Anti-Self" for the suicidal person means a choice between life and death.

Here are the risk factors:

  • Age after 45 years;
  • Serious mental disorders (depression, schizophrenia, dementia, delirium, psychosis, hallucinosis, psychopathy, dysphoria);
  • recent divorce or death of a spouse;
  • Unemployment and loss of meaning in life;
  • Loneliness;
  • Incurable somatic diseases (HIV, oncology);
  • Violation of interpersonal relationships or prolonged frustration in adolescents;
  • Alcohol and drug abuse, gambling addiction;
  • Deviant and delinquent behavior;
  • Overcriticality towards oneself.

Everyone experiences negative emotions from time to time. Why does one commit suicide while another in the same situation does not? What makes some people less resilient to life's challenges? What makes a person see the way out in ending life? The answer to these questions is that most people who commit suicide are deeply depressed.

The main reason

Since depression is usually the basis of suicide attempts, studying the causes of this disease helps to understand the causes of suicide. Depression causes a person to focus on failure and downplay their own abilities. People with severe depression are simply unable to see the possibility of a good outcome. Depression puts a filter on thinking that distorts everything around. This is especially acute in adolescence.

The life of a teenager is never easy. And for teenagers living in violent or abusive conditions, it seems simply unbearable. Some teenagers worry that they are not loved enough. Others struggle with body aversion or feel bad about themselves. Some teenagers have learning difficulties or problems concentrating, which creates additional problems at school. They are disappointed in themselves, or feel they are a disappointment to their parents. All of these problems can cause severe depression if a teenager is too long without help and support.

Alcohol or drug abuse

People who have problems with alcohol and drugs are at greater risk of suicidal thoughts and behavior. Excessive use of these substances causes severe depression. Many depressed people turn to alcohol or drugs as a means of escaping reality, only to make their depression worse. In addition, alcohol and drugs change thinking, make it difficult to assess risk and make the right choice. Many suicide attempts occur while the person is under the influence of alcohol or drugs.

Warning signals

According to statistics, most suicides are committed in the first three months after a psychological crisis. When a person contemplates suicide, he is in a state of excessive arousal, so sleep problems are one of the main warning signs.

There are other signs that a person is thinking about death:

  • Direct or indirect threats to kill yourself;
  • Distribution of debts and property;
  • Hopelessness and guilt;
  • Detachment from family and friends;
  • Putting things in order, reconciliation with enemies;
  • Jokes about suicide, an unhealthy interest in death;
  • Refusal to participate in favorite entertainment and activities;
  • trouble concentrating or thinking;
  • Changes in eating, sleeping and appearance;
  • Self-destructive behavior (alcohol, drug use, self-harm).

What if it's you or someone you know?

If you have ever thought about suicide, you need immediate help. Suicidal thoughts are a very dangerous condition. Do not wait and hope that your mood will improve. When a person feels bad for a long time, it is difficult to be objective. Ask loved ones or professionals for help!

If you suspect that your friend is thinking about death, try to talk to him. Even the opportunity to just talk about it helps to feel not alone. Talking about the problem gives you the opportunity to consider other solutions. Even if your friend asks you to keep the secret, you should seek qualified help. Remember that your friend's life may depend on it!

Therapy and prevention

Therapy and prevention of suicide is often aimed at treating depression. One of the main elements of suicide prevention is teaching those skills that help a person understand and regulate their emotions. Cognitive behavioral therapy, especially situational training, has also worked well. Therapy continues until the person learns to manage their emotions on their own.

Almost every person who thinks about suicide experiences ambivalent feelings. By paying attention to such a person and showing that he is not alone, we help him feel important and needed. Remember that there is always a way out!

Who is inciting you to commit suicide?

"Usually people regard thought as something unimportant,

therefore they are very little choosy when accepting a thought.

But from the accepted right thoughts everything good is born,

from the accepted false thoughts all evil is born.

Thought is like a ship's rudder: from a small rudder,

from this insignificant board dragging behind the ship,

depends on the direction and, for the most part, fate

the whole huge machine"

Bishop of the Caucasus and Black Sea

Obsessive thoughts are the form in which false ideas come to us that try to take power over us. Every day, our consciousness is subject to their active attacks. This prevents us from soberly assessing the situation, making plans and believing in their implementation, because of these thoughts it is difficult for us to concentrate and find reserves to overcome problems, these thoughts are exhausting, and often lead to despair, the result of which are thoughts of suicide.

Here are some thoughts that lead to the desire to commit suicide:

  • - The world is terrible, full of evil, there are very few good people;
  • - Nobody loves you;
  • - Your situation is hopeless;
  • - Life is scary;
  • - You will not be able to achieve in life what you wanted (what they wanted from you);
  • - You will never be happy;
  • - Non-existence - a good rest from life;
  • - Suicide is the only way out;
  • - By committing suicide, you will connect with a loved one who is already THERE.

And similar thoughts. They pervade our consciousness. They don't let us go even for a second. They make us suffer far more than the events that triggered the crisis.

There are a number of mental illnesses (depression of organic origin, schizophrenia, etc.) in which obsessive thoughts are present in the complex of symptoms. With such diseases, we know only one possibility of help - pharmacotherapy. In this case, it is necessary to consult a psychiatrist for treatment.

However, most people who suffer from intrusive thoughts during a mental crisis do not have psychopathological disorders. With the help of our advice, they will be able to successfully get rid of these thoughts and get out of the crisis.

What is the nature of intrusive thoughts

From the point of view of science, obsessive thoughts are the incessant repetition of unwanted ideas and desires, doubts, desires, memories, fears, actions, ideas, etc., which cannot be eliminated by an effort of will. The real problem in these thoughts is exaggerated, enlarged, distorted. As a rule, there are several of these thoughts, they line up in a vicious circle that we cannot break. And we run in circles like squirrels in a wheel.

The more we try to get rid of them, the more they become. And then there is a sense of their violence. Very often (but not always), obsessive-compulsive states are accompanied by depressive emotions, painful thoughts, and feelings of anxiety.

To overcome this problem, we need to answer the following questions:

  • What is the nature of intrusive thoughts? Where do they come from?
  • How to deal with intrusive thoughts?

And here it turns out that psychology has no exact answer to this question.

Many psychologists have tried to explain the cause of obsessive thoughts. Different schools of psychology are still at war with each other on this issue, but most still associate obsessive thoughts with fears. True, this does not clarify how to deal with them. Classical psychology does not provide recipes for effective struggle with obsessive thoughts because it does not see the nature of these thoughts. To put it simply, it is quite difficult to fight the enemy if he is not visible and it is not even clear who he is.

Meanwhile, answers to questions and successful solutions to the problem have been known for thousands of years. An effective way to deal with obsessive thoughts in a mentally healthy person exists.

We all know that the strength of obsessive thoughts is that they can influence our consciousness without our will, and our weakness is that we have almost no influence on obsessive thoughts. That is, behind these thoughts stands an independent will, different from ours. The very name "obsessive thoughts" already suggests that they are "imposed" by someone from the outside.

We are often surprised by the paradoxical content of these thoughts. That is, logically, we understand that the content of these thoughts is not entirely justified, not logical, not dictated by a sufficient number of real external circumstances, or even simply absurd and devoid of any common sense, but, nevertheless, we cannot resist these thoughts. Also, often when such thoughts arise, we ask ourselves the question: “How did I think of this?”, “Where did this thought come from?”, “This thought got into my head?”. We cannot find an answer to this, but for some reason we still consider it ours. At the same time, an obsessive thought has a huge impact on us. Everyone knows that a person, pursued by obsessions, maintains a critical attitude towards them, realizing all their absurdity and alienation to his mind. When he tries to stop them by an effort of will, this does not bring results. This means that we are dealing with an independent mind, different from ours.

Whose mind and will is it that is directed against us?

The holy fathers of the Orthodox Church say that a person in such situations is dealing with an attack by demons. I want to clarify right away that none of them perceived demons as primitively as those who did not think about their nature perceive them. These are not those funny hairy ones with horns and hooves! They have no visible appearance at all, allowing them to operate invisibly. They can be called differently: energies, spirits of malice, essences. Talking about their appearance is meaningless, but we know their main weapon is a lie.

So, it is the evil spirits, according to the holy fathers, that are the cause of these thoughts, which we take for our own. It's hard to break habits. And we are so used to considering all our thoughts, all our internal dialogues and even internal battles as ours and only ours. But in order to win these battles, you need to take their side in them, against the enemy. And for this you need to understand that these thoughts are not ours, they are imposed on us from the outside by a force hostile to us. Demons act like commonplace viruses, while trying to remain unnoticed and unrecognized. Moreover, these entities act regardless of whether you believe in them or not.

Saint Ignatius (Bryanchaninov) wrote about the nature of these thoughts in the following way: “Spirits of malice with such cunning wage war against a person that the thoughts and dreams they bring to the soul seem to be born in itself, and not from an evil spirit alien to it, acting and trying together take cover."

The criterion for determining the true source of our thoughts is very simple. If a thought deprives us of peace, it is from demons. “If you immediately feel embarrassment, oppression of the spirit from any movement of the heart, then this is no longer from above, but from the opposite side - from the evil spirit,” said the righteous John of Kronstadt. Isn't that the effect of obsessive thoughts that torment us in a crisis situation?

True, we are not always able to correctly assess our condition. The famous modern psychologist V.K. Nevyarovich writes about this in his book The Therapy of the Soul: “The absence of constant internal work on self-control, spiritual sobriety and conscious control of one’s thoughts, described in detail in the ascetic patristic literature, also affects. It can also be assumed, with more or less obviousness, that some thoughts, which are always, by the way, almost felt as alien and even coerced, violent, really have a nature alien to a person, being demonic.According to patristic teaching, a person is often not able to distinguish the true source of his thoughts, and the soul is permeable to the demonic element. ascetics of holiness and piety, with a bright soul already cleansed by prayer and fasting, are able to detect the approach of darkness. Souls covered with sinful darkness often do not feel and do not see this, for dark is poorly distinguished on the dark.

It is thoughts "from the evil one" that support all our addictions (alcohol, gambling, painful neurotic dependence on certain people, etc.). Thoughts that we mistake for our own push people to suicide, despair, resentment, unforgiveness, envy, passions, indulge pride, unwillingness to admit their mistakes. They obsessively offer us, disguised as our thoughts, to do very bad deeds in relation to others, they do not work on correcting themselves. These thoughts prevent us from embarking on the path of spiritual development, inspire us with a sense of superiority over others, etc. Such thoughts are these "spiritual viruses".

It is the spiritual nature of such thoughts-viruses that is confirmed by the fact that, for example, doing a charitable deed, praying, going to church is often difficult for us. We feel inner resistance, we make great efforts to resist what seems to be our own thoughts, which find a huge number of excuses not to do this. Although it seems that it is difficult to get up early in the morning and go to the temple? But no, anywhere we get up early quickly, and to go to the temple it will be hard for us to get up. According to a Russian proverb: "Although the church is close, it is slippery to walk; but the tavern is far away, but I walk slowly." It is also easy for us to sit in front of the TV, but it is much more difficult to force ourselves to pray for the same time. These are just some examples. In fact, our whole life consists of a constant choice between good and evil. And by analyzing the choices we make, everyone can see the effects of these "viruses" every day.

This is how spiritually experienced people viewed the nature of obsessive thoughts. And their advice on overcoming these thoughts worked flawlessly! The criterion of experience unambiguously indicates that the Church's understanding of this issue is correct.

How to overcome intrusive thoughts

How, in accordance with this correct understanding, to overcome obsessive thoughts?

The first steps are:

1. Recognize that you have obsessive thoughts and the need to get rid of them! Recognize that these thoughts are not yours, that they are the result of an external attack of other entities on you. As long as you consider obsessive thoughts as your own, you will not be able to oppose them and take measures to neutralize them. You can't neutralize yourself!

Make a firm decision to get rid of this slavery so that you can continue to build your life without these viruses.

2. Take responsibility. I want to note that if we accept these obsessive thoughts from the outside, do certain actions under their influence, then it is we who are responsible for these actions and the consequences of these actions. It is impossible to shift the responsibility to obsessive thoughts, because we accepted them and acted in accordance with them. Not thoughts acted, but we ourselves.

3. Do not engage in negative self-hypnosis by repeating these thoughts to yourself! Everyone is well aware of the power of self-hypnosis. Self-hypnosis can sometimes help in very severe cases. Self-hypnosis can relieve pain, treat psychosomatic disorders, and significantly improve the psychological state. Due to its ease of use and pronounced effectiveness, it has been used in psychotherapy since ancient times.

Unfortunately, self-hypnosis of negative statements is often observed. A person who has found himself in a crisis situation, to himself and aloud, constantly unconsciously pronounces statements that not only do not help get out of the crisis, but also worsen the condition. For example, a person constantly complains to acquaintances or makes a statement to himself:

  1. - Nobody loves me;
  2. - I can't do anything;
  3. “My position is hopeless.

Thus, the mechanism of self-hypnosis is turned on, which really leads a person to certain feelings of helplessness, longing, despair, diseases, mental disorders.

It turns out that the more often a person repeats these negative attitudes, the more negatively they affect the thoughts, feelings, sensations, emotions, ideas of this person. You don't have to keep repeating this. By doing this, you not only do not help yourself, but also drive yourself deep into the crisis swamp. What to do?

If you catch yourself repeating these spells often, then do the following:

Change the setting to the exact opposite and repeat it many times more often.

For example, if you constantly think and say that life ended in divorce, then carefully and clearly say 100 times that life goes on and will get better and better every day. It is better to do such suggestions several times a day. And you will really feel the effect very quickly. When making positive statements, avoid the "not" prefix. Example: not "I will not be lonely in the future", but "I will still be with my loved one in the future." This is a very important rule for making statements. Pay attention to this. It is important. Do not make statements about what is not achievable, ethical. You should not give yourself installations to raise self-esteem.

4. Try to find the hidden benefits of the state you are in! Skip these benefits! Paradoxical as it may seem, but a person who is constantly attacked by heavy, exhausting obsessive thoughts, very often finds imaginary benefits for himself in their presence. Most often, a person cannot and does not want to admit these benefits even to himself, because the very idea that he has benefits from the source of suffering seems blasphemous to him. In psychology, this concept is called "secondary benefit". In this case, the secondary benefit is a side benefit in this situation from the existing torment and suffering, exceeding the gain from solving the problem and further well-being. It is impossible to enumerate all the possible benefits that a person receives from his own suffering. Here are some of the more common ones:

1. "There will be no joy in the future. Real life is over, and now there will be only survival"

Benefit: no need to think about how to get out of the situation (life is over), no need to think too much, no need to work. Self-pity appears, the severity of the situation (imagined) justifies all mistakes and wrong actions. There is a pleasant sympathy of others and attention to yourself from friends and relatives

2. "It's better not to live at all than like this. I don't see the point in such a life. I don't see any point and hope"

If there is hope, then it seems to be necessary to take steps. But you don't want to do this. Therefore, it is easiest to come to terms with this thought, but do not try anything. Sit down and feel sorry for yourself, accepting the role of the victim.

3. "No one loves me" or "I only disturb others"

Benefit: This is a great reason to feel sorry for yourself, not to seek help from people. And again passively go with the flow, without remaking yourself

When looking for "benefits", everything that is "uncovered" looks very unattractive, and a person ceases to be the way he WANTS to see himself. This process is very painful, however, if the secondary "benefit" is found and realized, you can find both other ways to implement it, and eradicate this "benefit", as well as find a successful solution from your own predicament.

Once again I want to note that all secondary "benefits" are hidden from consciousness. Now you can't see them. You can understand and reveal them only by an impartial analysis of your actions, thoughts and desires.

5. The most powerful weapon against obsessive thoughts is prayer. The world-famous physician, winner of the Nobel Prize in Physiology or Medicine for his work on vascular suture and transplantation of blood vessels and organs, Dr. Alexis Carrel said: “Prayer is the strongest form of energy emitted by a person. It is as real a force as gravity. As a doctor, I have observed patients who have not been helped by any therapeutic treatment. They were able to recover from diseases and melancholy only thanks to the calming effect of prayer. When we pray, we connect ourselves with the inexhaustible life force that sets the entire universe in motion. We pray that "at least part of this power has passed to us. Turning to God in sincere prayer, we improve and heal our soul and body. It is impossible that at least one moment of prayer does not bring a positive result to any man or woman."

The spiritual explanation for the help of prayer in this problem is very simple. God is stronger than Satan, and our prayerful appeal to Him for help casts out evil spirits that "sing" their deceitful monotonous songs in our ears. Everyone can be convinced of this, and very quickly. You don't need to be a monk to do this.

In a difficult moment of life

Do sadness cramp in the heart:

One wonderful prayer

I repeat by heart.

There is a grace

In consonance with the words of the living,

And breathes incomprehensible

Holy beauty in them.

From the soul, how the burden will roll,

And believe and cry

And so easy, so easy. (Mikhail Lermontov)

Like any good deed, prayer must be done with reason and effort.

Let's not try to argue with obsessive thoughts. Here is what the holy fathers say about this: “You are used to talking to yourself and you think to argue thoughts, but they are reflected by the Jesus Prayer and silence in your thoughts” (St. Anthony of Optina). “The crowd of tempting thoughts becomes more relentless if you allow them to slow down in your soul, and even more so if you also enter into negotiations with them. But if you push them away from the first time with a strong effort of will, rejection and turning to God, then they will immediately leave and leave the atmosphere of the soul pure" (St. Theophan the Recluse).

We must consider the enemy that he inspires us, and direct the weapon of prayer towards him. That is, the word of the prayer should be the opposite of the obsessive thoughts suggested to us. “Make it a law for yourself every time trouble happens, that is, an attack by the enemy in the form of a bad thought or feeling, not to be content with one reflection and disagreement, but to add prayer to this until opposite feelings and thoughts are formed in the soul,” says St. Theophan.

For example, if the essence of obsessive thoughts is murmuring, pride, unwillingness to accept the circumstances in which we find ourselves, then the essence of prayer should be humility: "" God's will be done!"

If the memory of a person is tormenting, let us simply pray for him: "Lord, bless him!" Why will this prayer help you? Because from your prayer for this person, he will benefit, and evil spirits do not wish good to anyone. Therefore, seeing that good comes from their work, they will stop torturing you with images of this person. One woman who took advantage of this advice said that prayer helped a lot, and she literally felt next to her the impotence and annoyance of the evil spirits that had overcome her before.

Naturally, different thoughts can overcome us at the same time (there is nothing faster than a thought), so the words of different prayers can also be combined: "Lord, have mercy on this man! Glory to You for everything!".

You need to pray continuously, until victory, until the invasion of thoughts stops, and peace and joy reign in the soul. Read more about how to pray on our website.

6. Sacraments of the Church. Another way to get rid of these entities is the Sacraments of the Church. First of all, it is, of course, a confession. It is at confession, regrettably repenting of sins, that we seem to wash off all the dirt that has stuck to ourselves, including obsessive thoughts. It would seem, but what are we to blame?

Spiritual laws say unequivocally: if we feel bad, then we have sinned. Because only sin hurts. Those same murmurings about the situation (and this is nothing more than murmuring against God or resentment against Him), despondency, resentment against a person - all these are sins that poison our souls.

When we confess, we do two very useful things for our soul. First, we take responsibility for our condition and tell ourselves and God that we will try to change it. Secondly, we call evil evil, and evil spirits most of all do not like reproof - they prefer to act on the sly. In response to our deeds, God, at the moment of reading the prayer of permissiveness, does His work - He forgives us our sins and casts out evil spirits that besiege us.

Another powerful tool in the struggle for our soul is Communion. Communion of the Body and Blood of Christ, we receive the grace-filled power to fight evil in ourselves. "This Blood removes and drives away demons from us far and calls Angels to us. Demons flee from where they see the Sovereign Blood, and Angels flock there. Shed on the Cross, this Blood washed the whole universe. This Blood is the salvation of our souls. By it the soul is washed - says St. John Chrysostom.

“The Most Holy Body of Christ, when well received, is a weapon for those who are at war, a return for those who are moving away from God, a return, strengthens the weak, gladdens the healthy, heals illnesses, preserves health, thanks to it we are more easily corrected, in labors and sorrows we become more patient, in love - more ardent, more refined in knowledge, more ready in obedience, more receptive to the actions of grace" - St. Gregory the Theologian.

I cannot assume the mechanism of this deliverance, but I know for sure that dozens of people I know, including my patients, got rid of obsessive thoughts precisely after the Sacraments.

Hundreds of millions of people felt the blessed power of the Sacraments. It is they, their experience, that tells us that we should not ignore the help of God and His Church with these entities. I want to note that some people after the Sacraments got rid of obsessions not forever, but for a while. This is natural, as it is a long and difficult struggle.

7. Get a grip on yourself! Idleness, self-pity, apathy, despair, depression are the most nutritious substrates for growing and multiplying obsessive thoughts. That is why try to constantly be at the right thing, be physically active, pray, watch your physical condition, get enough sleep, do not maintain these states in yourself, do not look for benefits in them.

Choose to live with Christ!

"For God so loved the world,

that he gave his only begotten Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish, but have eternal life" (John 3:16)

"Choose life, that you and your offspring may live, love the Lord your God, listen to His voice, and cling to Him; for in this is your life and the length of your days..." (Deut. 30:19-20)

How to Prevent Suicide: Finding a Way Out

Friends, every year in the world from above, people die of their own free will. In addition, the number of suicides is growing every year and, worst of all, the number of suicides committed by children is increasing. What can be the factor of such destructive behavior? How to prevent suicide (suicide)?

It's easy to sit at a computer and talk like that, and at that moment, somewhere, someone jumped out of the window! Therefore, we must not be silent, something must be done!

Numerous studies show that the reason for the increase in suicides are:

  • economic turmoil,
  • poverty, unemployment;
  • significant financial debts;
  • disorganization of the family: death of relatives, divorce, lack of support, conflicts, betrayals;
  • fear of punishment;
  • dissatisfaction with oneself;
  • feeling of revenge;
  • the formation of new social views that are not accepted by man;
  • ethical, religious and economic conflicts.

Because of an unresolved problem, a person plunges into himself, fences himself off from others, loses his appetite and sleep, and more and more often thinks about the question: “Why live on?”

In such a situation, it is difficult for a person to turn to relatives, friends or loved ones for help. It is difficult to express one's pain, problem, feelings, being afraid not to seem like a "black sheep" to others. Therefore, he sees the simplest and only way out of the situation in suicide.

But a life crisis should not be taken as a punishment (deserved or undeserved). Rather, it is a signal that it is necessary to make a decision, to change something in life and in oneself. This is not easy to do. Therefore, in a crisis situation, many people act as if nothing is happening, as if the problem does not exist.

Another popular but unproductive way is the use of psychotropic drugs (alcohol, tranquilizers), which allow you to temporarily “soften” existing problems.

Mechanisms of "psychological defense" can, to some extent, delay the inevitable maladjustment. But they cannot take her away - sooner or later the behavior becomes inadequate to the current situation.

How to prevent suicide → video ↓

Dead end in life: find a way out

You should look for a way out of life's impasse by:

  • Using a sample (imagine how a respected, authoritative person would act in a similar life situation).
  • Getting emotional support (not being afraid to talk about your problem). In some cases, unfortunately, people refuse help, considering it humiliating for themselves.
  • If a person is sometimes visited by thoughts of leaving this life, you need to contact a psychologist or a priest. In many cities there are psychologists on duty to provide urgent psychological assistance over the phone. It's free. It is important to know how to contact them and get help.
  • Many people who had thoughts of suicide came to the monastery. Not necessarily immediately became monks, but temporarily lived there, doing what they could. This cleansed the person and then he lived with bright thoughts, helping others.
  • Of course, do not forget about relaxation, since prolonged stress interferes with normal mental processes (emotional response, productive thinking). Which, ultimately, complicates and blocks the adoption of correct rational decisions.
  • In most of these cases, it is quite possible to correct the situation. But fixation on the problem, the predominance of emotions over common sense do not give a chance to find a way out.
  • And people who are in a state of depression do not want or cannot turn to relatives, friends or psychologists for help. They think there is no way out. And the only way to solve the problem is to leave. To deprive ourselves of the most precious thing that each of us can have in general - life.
  • Sometimes just speaking out is enough to get the emotions out. Do not be afraid to turn to close people, friends, social workers, a priest in a difficult situation for help.

Soul savers

My dear reader, if it’s very, very difficult and unbearable for you right now, remember the story of Nick Vuychich, a man without arms and legs from birth, who miraculously did not commit suicide.

At the last moment, he thought of his parents, who loved him madly. Nick saved a lot of people from suicide! After meeting with him, completely desperate people received a breath of new life.

Don Ritchie, who was called the Guardian Angel, officially saved 164 people from suicide (in reality, there were much more). He lived in Sydney, next to the rock, which was popular with people who decided to voluntarily give up their lives.

Don made it his mission to save the lives of these people. He regularly walked to the observation deck, discouraging potential suicides that came across to him from death. He often began his conversation with the usual phrase: "Can I help you somehow?" Then, during the conversation, Don invited the suicides to his place for a cup of tea.

Australian Donald Taylor (Don) Richie lived to be 86 years old and officially saved 164 people from suicide in 45 years of his life. Against the background of the same rock

Suicide is a tragedy of mankind, but the problems in life are given to us so that we can solve them. Or, if the first fails, they changed their attitude towards them and accepted them as an imperfection of the world. After all, hopeless situations do not exist, if one door closes in front of us, others are sure to open.

  • "The bravest thing I've ever done was continue my life when I wanted to die"
  • “If suicidal people knew what it really feels like to die, most of them would instantly forget about stupid things”
  • "For a person who wants to die, a little change is enough to cross the threshold"
  • "Suicide is not a way out, but a cowardly escape from difficulties."

How to prevent suicide ↓

Friends, as always, I'm waiting for your comments on the acute topic "How to prevent suicide." Have you ever helped a desperate person find the strength to move on? Share this information with your friends on social networks - save the person we may lose!

I’m just not interested in living. I don’t see any point in this. I don’t want to find a soul mate, I don’t want to get married, I don’t want to give birth and raise children. I don’t need world fame, a lot of money, etc. I don’t dream of entering in history or stupidly travel around the world. I generally vaguely imagine myself in 10 years, such an unnecessary lonely, aging, so the only way out is suicide. No, I don’t feel sorry for leaving this life, I’m just afraid of an inept attempt to kill myself trouble for my relatives. Therefore, I still live, considering some plan for an inconspicuous departure from life. Of course, I understand that they cannot completely ignore my disappearance, but it’s somehow crazy to live for the peace of my relatives, don’t you think?
Support the site:

Niki, age: 11/19/2011

Responses:

Hello.
Well, 29 years old is far from being old, even talking about it is ridiculous. You wrote about what you don't want. But this you will not have - because in the modern world you are unlikely to have to give up what you have listed. Because all this needs to be achieved long and painfully, at the cost of enormous efforts.
And what do you have for today? Are you studying, working, making friends with someone? What do you have today that would make you happy? The meaning of life is not only in unattainable goals. The joy of life can be found in the consciousness that, for example, you are doing an important and necessary thing and doing it well. It is possible to have a hobby that will help you find the whole world without leaving your home. A "smart, enlightened conversation" with a good friend works well. Or maybe not smart, and not enlightened, but just sincere. But there are few things in the world for which it is worth living more ...

gernica, age: 11/22/2011

Personally, I don’t think so, Nicky. And in general, I don’t understand what happened? What provoked you to talk so gloomily? Well, you don’t want fame, money, travel, and you don’t need to. relatives or yourself, that you risk becoming disabled? You are now 19 years old. Do you really think that in 10 years you will turn into an aging woman and useless to anyone? At 29 years old, do you imagine yourself like that, or what? Yes! the course of your reasoning. I think you need a good psychotherapist. You would write in more detail about yourself. Maybe we can all help you. Otherwise, there is somehow little information and mostly only reasoning.

Antonina Anatolyevna from the College of Music, age: 65 / 11/16/2011

Nika, to be honest, it seems that half of the text ... Well, yes, not quite ... Well, it’s not true or something! Do not be offended by me, you yourself re-read your letter.
In 10 years, you, girl, will be ONLY 29 years old! Age between youth and maturity! Where did you see 29 year old women? I'm over 50, and no one calls me an old woman. Come on, offend our snake!
I didn’t understand why you should want to find a soul mate, have children and have a lot of money? Is this relevant to you NOW? Right now they force you to get married, have children or spend millions? Or are you currently being sent to travel the world? By the way, why is travel stupid? What about scientific expeditions? What about pilgrimages? Somehow I don’t think that the participants of our Antarctic expeditions are stupid ... Not before that, they would have to stay alive and do the work!
My sun. I know very well one young woman (37 years old), she has two children, her husband. work ... So, at your age, she honestly believed that the family, husband, children, diapers, dinners - not for her. Truth. she, unlike you, had confidence in her originality and her high calling. But! Somehow, imperceptibly for herself, she got married, gave birth to two children, and everything is normal with her calling! So, dear, we all don’t know what we ourselves want tomorrow, and you made a guess for 10 years!
In general, Nicky (Nika - victory), but you must be Veronica? Tell me in more detail why you don't want to live? As for what will happen in 10 years - this is not serious. What is wrong NOW? And what is your challenge TODAY? What happened? Study brought to exhaustion? Trouble with the profession? Parents don't understand? Tell me, people will advise something sensible!
In the meantime, advice will come, read the bookmarks at the top left (white arrows against the background of green circles). And up your nose, Nika! Let's break through!

Elena, age: 54 / 11/16/2011

Nicky, sorry, but what happened? Why are you so pessimistic? I practically didn’t understand anything. Why do you have such an attitude? If you describe your problem in more detail, then, probably, those who responded will be able to help you better and give more objective advice.

Aigul, age: 34 / 11/16/2011

Hello Nicky!
You won’t be able to leave quietly, because after suicide you will go straight to hell, and there will be in full: torment, pain and suffering, and you can’t get away from this, it’s forever. If you wish yourself such an eternity, in the company of demons, then go ahead. And if you still think about why the Lord created you, then go to church, talk with the priest, let him pray for you, and pray to the Lord yourself, read the Bible, do good to other people, and interest in life will appear.
Good luck and may God bless you!

Aleana, age: 41 / 11/16/2011

Dear Niki, even if you do not believe in God and are not afraid to go to hell - think that no one will give you a guarantee that you will complete your plan - you can remain an invalid for life, bedridden for life.
Then your present worthless life will seem like real happiness.
Live some more, maybe in time you will find your own meaning for yourself - maybe you will become very necessary and necessary for someone.
Pray to the Lord to fill your life with meaning.
Hold on.
Help you Lord!

Same, age: 11/30/2011

Living for the peace of your loved ones is not nonsense at all. It’s not exactly the same thing to take your own life so as not to solve problems, it’s not quite the same thing to bury your head in the sand like an ostrich. Try to turn to God, Lord, I’m sure he will show you the meaning of life. but why don't you love yourself? Think about it, do you love your parents? Think about how they will live without you. I have seen a lot of parents who have lost their children, they are so heartbroken that their heart bleeds. Live and please your loved ones.

Fotina, age: 44 / 11/17/2011

Nicky, dear, well, don’t do what you don’t want. It’s not necessary for everyone to get married, especially if you don’t want to. You wait. Sit quietly, take a piece of paper, divide it in half and write on one half what you don’t want to, but on the other write what you would like (except what made you write this letter). Think well, well. Surely you want something. And so every day look for desires in yourself and fulfill them. There is only one condition - desires should only be good. Try! You are only 19 years old. Try to distract yourself with the pain of others. Do you know how many people need help? - You haven't done it yet. Try it!

Hope, age: 56 / 11/18/2011


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Suicide is always an act of self-destruction of the individual by deliberately killing himself, and an incomplete suicide is called parasuicide. To help a suicidal person in time, you need to learn to recognize the markers of suicidal behavior.

The only way out or a weakness of character?

There is an opinion that a person who commits suicide is a weak person. But it is not always the case! Even strong people can have suicidal thoughts. Most parasuicidal (those who fail to kill themselves) say they did it because they were trying to get away from a traumatic situation or wanted relief from self-destructive thoughts and feelings. They didn't want to die so much as they wanted to run away from what was happening. And at that particular moment, death seemed to them the only way out. According to the famous psychologist Frankl, a potential suicide begins to be afraid not of death, but of life. And this is his fundamental difference from the ordinary person.

Naturally, suicide is not a way out even in the most critical situation, but many will agree that for a spiritual rebirth a person sometimes needs to reach the brink of despair. And celebrities are no exception. Here are some examples from the life of stars.

The famous singer Tina Turner was systematically beaten by her husband and producer for many years. Not wanting to live like this anymore, Tina tried to commit suicide in 1986. But after an unsuccessful attempt, she found the strength to end her marriage to Ike Turner and turned into a world-class star.

Film actress Drew Barrymore became famous as a teenage girl. She was introduced not only to alcohol but also to drugs early on, and suffered from bipolar disorder for many years. Drew first attempted to kill herself at age 14. But after working with a personal therapist, she managed to change her life and get rid of addictions.

Even Mike Tyson knows what suicide is! His promoter constantly deceived the boxer, at the same time he had to serve time in prison. A severe depressive state led this strong man to the fact that he tried to commit suicide with the help of drugs. Luckily, all problems are now behind us.

Suicide is not just something we hear about every day from friends, see on TV and read on the Internet. This is something that affects each of us. According to statistics, every fifth person in the world has been personally affected by the problem of suicide. Understanding what goes on in the mind of a suicidal person can help win the battle against the misconceptions that lead him to this final act of self-destruction.

The reasons

The reasons for suicide can vary. Some people who commit suicide try to avoid feelings of rejection, pain, or loss. Others experience intense shame, anger, or overwhelming guilt. Still others are concerned about the disappointment of friends or family members. And the fourth feel unloved, do not want to be a victim or a burden.

Often people commit suicide in traumatic situations, for example, after a divorce, a serious illness or loss of a job, but all this is more of a reason, not a reason for suicide. And the reasons must be sought in the psychological and social spheres, as well as in genetics.

Some mental illnesses, especially schizophrenia and bipolar disorder, greatly increase the risk of suicide. The level of self-destructive behavior is much higher in deviant families. Suicide is always closely related to integration into society. Suicide is more likely when a person suffers from a lack of social relationships, especially if the problem comes on suddenly. The suicide rate is much lower among the married than among the divorced, widowed and single. Science is also well aware that if one twin has made an attempt to kill himself, then the second twin has a sharp increase in the risk of suicide.

Do not think that suicidal people experience some kind of stronger life stresses. Rather, they have a kind of personality pathology that does not allow them to adequately cope with problems. From the very beginning, these people have many problems in life. Suicidal people are characterized by a higher percentage of mental disorders, more often abuse psychostimulant substances. But, despite this, suicide can occur in any family, including those that look quite safe.

At-risk groups

At that moment, when thoughts of suicide take hold of a person, he goes against himself. The suicidal person is, as it were, in a trance state, when he hears only a “critical inner voice” that pushes him to commit suicide. This Anti-Self is based on negative early life experiences, painful or traumatic events, and past destructive relationships. "Anti-Self" makes a person be self-critical, hate himself, and in the worst case, even commit suicide. The battle between the real person and the "Anti-Self" for the suicidal person means a choice between life and death.

Here are the risk factors:


Everyone experiences negative emotions from time to time. Why does one commit suicide while another in the same situation does not? What makes some people less resilient to life's challenges? What makes a person see the way out in ending life? The answer to these questions is that most people who commit suicide are deeply depressed.

The main reason

Since depression is usually the basis of suicide attempts, studying the causes of this disease helps to understand the causes of suicide. Depression causes a person to focus on failure and downplay their own abilities. People with severe depression are simply unable to see the possibility of a good outcome. Depression puts a filter on thinking that distorts everything around. This is especially acute in adolescence.

The life of a teenager is never easy. And for teenagers living in violent or abusive conditions, it seems simply unbearable. Some teenagers worry that they are not loved enough. Others struggle with body aversion or feel bad about themselves. Some teenagers have learning difficulties or problems concentrating, which creates additional problems at school. They are disappointed in themselves, or feel they are a disappointment to their parents. All of these problems can cause severe depression if a teenager is too long without help and support.

Alcohol or drug abuse

People who have problems with alcohol and drugs are at greater risk of suicidal thoughts and behavior. Excessive use of these substances causes severe depression. Many depressed people turn to alcohol or drugs as a means of escaping reality, only to make their depression worse. In addition, alcohol and drugs change thinking, make it difficult to assess risk and make the right choice. Many suicide attempts occur while the person is under the influence of alcohol or drugs.

Warning signals

According to statistics, most suicides are committed in the first three months after a psychological crisis. When a person contemplates suicide, he is in a state of excessive arousal, so sleep problems are one of the main warning signs.

There are other signs that a person is thinking about death:

  • Direct or indirect threats to kill yourself;
  • Distribution of debts and property;
  • Hopelessness and guilt;
  • Detachment from family and friends;
  • Putting things in order, reconciliation with enemies;
  • Jokes about suicide, an unhealthy interest in death;
  • Refusal to participate in favorite entertainment and activities;
  • trouble concentrating or thinking;
  • Changes in eating, sleeping and appearance;
  • Self-destructive behavior (alcohol, drug use, self-harm).

What if it's you or someone you know?

If you have ever thought about suicide, you need immediate help. Suicidal thoughts are a very dangerous condition. Do not wait and hope that your mood will improve. When a person feels bad for a long time, it is difficult to be objective. Ask loved ones or professionals for help!

If you suspect that your friend is thinking about death, try to talk to him. Even the opportunity to just talk about it helps to feel not alone. Talking about the problem gives you the opportunity to consider other solutions. Even if your friend asks you to keep the secret, you should seek qualified help. Remember that your friend's life may depend on it!

Therapy and prevention