Hello! My son is a capable boy. He studies well, but with great reluctance. This is probably due to his passion for computers, but he explains his passion by the fact that he is not interested in school, that teachers ALL almost find fault with him, there are no jokes or humor in the lessons. In general, a very heavy, oppressive atmosphere. Lessons have to be done with him, though not all. He understands mathematics and almost always does it himself. HE says that he is very tired at school and he needs to relax at the computer, which he does for 4-6 hours if I don’t pull him away by force. He dropped almost all the mugs. He says that fencing is hard, the art studio is not interesting. There is now a circle of mekhmat. He fell out of love with reading and instead of reading only a computer, though in the evening we read aloud together. There is no big workload at school, a lot of free time, but he delays the hours of sleep because he does not want to get ready for school (the earlier I go to bed, the sooner the morning will come). Regarding the school, I somewhat agree with him, but this aggression and hatred seem painful to me. Is it caused by my fascination with the computer and is it manipulating me to play more games?

Hello Olga Igorevna.

I can tell you for sure that 4-6 hours at the computer for a student is a lot! It's almost a work day. But his main job now is to study. But it is also true that the school is pressing, that many children there are not interested.

For me, what you describe are facts. But what leads to them (the abandonment of circles, the loss of interests, the fact that there is only one computer left) is not clear. However, I know for sure that in many respects the behavior of children is influenced by relationships. With parents and peers. Depending on age. How old is your son?

If up to 10-11 years old - then mostly relationships with parents, if older, then relationships with peers become more important for the child. If something goes wrong here, then the child can thus escape from difficulties.

There is a problem and it needs to be solved. If you decide to do this seriously, I will be glad to help you.

You can also email me: [email protected]

Sincerely,

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Hello Olga Igorevna! You completely understand the situation correctly - and this is not due to a large load, but to the fact that children themselves are very dependent - and their computer addiction develops quite quickly, which only contributes to a weakening of control, a loss of interest in everything that is around him , irritation at the lessons, going to school - but the children are immature in nature and they do not understand and do not see what all this hobby can lead to - to the fact that he will become isolated, lose friends and interests, slip into his studies, become aggressive and irritable, sleep and mood worsen - in general, a very sad picture, really! If you do not want to miss the situation - then be consistent and decisive - talk to the child - explain to him and show him what he can expect in the future, so that he himself can imagine it (that he can lose everything, and his future too), that the virtual the world will replace the real one for him; further - it is important to know what role the father plays in upbringing - for a boy, communication with a man (father, coach) is a kind of model of a man, how he should be, how to behave with women, how to act, how to take responsibility and respond for their actions and deeds - a kind of initiation with the world of men and self-identification! trying to constantly run away from difficulties - you run the risk of finding yourself with an already grown up son, who will still look for excuses for all the failures around him, and not in himself, he needs to learn to deal with difficulties - to take responsibility for any household chores and be responsible for them; structure the child’s daily routine - so that he disciplines himself - in order to develop his willpower - explain that only by overcoming himself, he will be able to overcome all the difficulties around, grow in his own eyes and achieve everything he wants! of course, sports are necessary and important (swimming pool, wrestling ...) - since the rejection of the computer is also accompanied by a kind of withdrawal - and he will need to get excited! and now, yes, he has learned to manipulate, because you go for it and he still gets everything he wants - think about it .... If you decide to understand the situation and try to resolve it together with your son - you can safely contact me - call - I will glad to help you!

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Olga Igorevna, you are a humanist, he is a techie ... ("he understands mathematics and almost always does it himself", computers, "mekhmat circle"). Dad, probably. I always ask - where is his dad (in the text - silence ...)? He is very important for the boy!

I note right away that right word in your assessment of your son’s feelings as “... but this aggression (already three “s”! He doesn’t say anything about aggression, he only complains about the lack of jokes and humor and clinging to teachers off topic!) and hatred (?) seem to me... " -seems! These are your subjective assessments of the situation.

"No big workload, lots of free time" - what would you prefer him to do? Was reading? Now many have begun to read less, information is taken from the Internet. Give computer courses - let him study not amateurishly, but professionally, support what to him Like! Maybe you didn’t draw well in childhood, but now for him - go to the circle! I was engaged in fencing - not just, and it can be sharp! Well, he doesn’t like it, what’s wrong, maybe in 5 years he himself will want to do it! Capable, studies well... What worries you? Something - its.

The picture that appears before the eyes evokes vague feelings when in the evenings "we read aloud together"! One piece or each one? Chorus or roles? Who to whom? For what?

Just love your son.

And about the attitude towards your husband (the man - the father of the child), it is important to talk with a family psychologist. Contact. Otherwise, it will annoy and strain the similarity ...

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Olga Igorevna, you did not write how old your son is. A lot depends on this. In the first grade, playing a computer 4-6 hours a day is perhaps a bit too much, in the 11th grade it is quite normal. As far as I know, high school students are still accepted into the Mekhmat circle, so I will assume that your son is in his teens. Hence the unwillingness to study, severe fatigue (and the load at school is really much stronger today than in ours - the program is more complicated, and the level of teacher training has fallen - they explain it worse, you have to study on your own).

Further, the son told you openly that he needs to relax, rest. Well, if you are worried about sitting at the computer for a long time, then what ways can you offer him to relax? Mugs are an additional load, not rest. Another question - what exactly does he do at the computer? If he only plays, that's one thing, but if he watches movies, reads, chats with friends in chats and forums, or maybe even writes programs or studies some computer stuff? - so there is nothing wrong here, but, on the contrary, you need to rejoice that it’s not in the gateway that the beer whips and doesn’t draw indecent words in the elevator :)

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Svetlana Ustimenko

For the second or third year as a mother of schoolchildren, I shudder in anticipation of this ticklish sense of inevitability. Oh, this ominous silence of class chats! But since mid-August, the focus of parental attention has been on the alleged tasks “with an asterisk”, upcoming, joint with children, lack of sleep, paying school “tithes” ... In general, what decent parents usually grieve about in messengers!

While you are still at the mercy of the usual regime - work, walking with children, rest - and you are attacked by the feeling that in a couple of weeks some stupid school will encroach on you and your child. And in addition, it will deprive the family of peace and quiet.

What about children? It just seems that they carelessly bathe and splash around. In fact, they are squeezed by a certain duality. On the one hand, they understand that by the end of summer, adults expect to see a unique revival in their eyes. And many are really happy - if not studying, then meeting with friends. But on the other hand… they hate school in all its manifestations, and do you know why? Because they feel an unfeigned phobia towards her on the part of their parents.

One of the points here, of course, is the already mentioned instant messengers. Children do not have to diligently spy on the activity of their moms, less often dads, in class and school chat rooms. For them, the fact that their school life-existence is regulated precisely from whatsaps, vibers and others like them is already obvious.

Let's say the child wanted to complete the task in two ways, but no - a message clicked on his mother's phone. Most parents who have had time to review the content of homework believe that everything should be written down according to the standard. The probability that a mother will advise her student to act according to his own understanding is extremely low.

Or another example. The New Year is approaching, and the child came up with the idea to look in the store, with the help of the elders, for a gift edition for his beloved teacher. But after a couple of days - the back door to all ideas. The parent community spoke through the messenger for a single congratulation from the class, excluding any private “congratulations”.

In general, that idea of ​​independence, initiative, to which adults often call on their children, crumbles like a sand castle before the eyes of children.

From such phenomena (after all, they are not isolated!) The child gradually develops a desire to completely provide the school in all its diversity to the parents themselves. Distance yourself from it and even declare it a foreign, hostile territory.

School instead of Babai

Another source of rejection of the school by us, parents, and then our children, is the opposition between school and life. Now, since the middle of summer, one of the vigilant parents has been trying to repeat something with their children. In mid-August, and at all - mass educational attractions.

What is interesting for me is the motivation that we offer our children, seating them for summer classes. Most often, willy-nilly, the emphasis is on the fact that the intensity of summer classes is inversely proportional to the difficulties that may later arise at school.

“Petenka, you need to repeat what you went through in the 2nd grade, otherwise it will be difficult for you to study in the 3rd!” Do you recognize? That is, in our remarks, which at first glance are so natural and logical, it is predetermined that the school is fraught with difficulties, sorrows, and failures.

Well, if we add our thoughts out loud here, it becomes quite dreary: “Oh, I can’t imagine - in 10 days I’ll live on a call, fees, lessons, mugs”, “And what a “kind” person came up with September: you live here for yourself , enjoy life, and then - bang! ”...

Photo: Irina Serova / vk.com/irina_serova_photo

I repeat: many phrases are quite justified, even necessary. How, for example, not to call on children at the end of summer to restore the educational regime of the day? Of course, this is our duty, because otherwise we give the green light to chaos, uncertainty in the family.

But only if a small person hears with a certain frequency something like: “Do you have eternal summer ?! In two weeks there will be a bunch of tasks here, and you relax and go to bed late! ”, Then the school once again appears in his mind in a negative image that is hostile to his children's needs.

It just so happened in our parental culture: numerous verbal instructions addressed to schoolchildren seem to sound specifically in such a way as to oppose life and school.

It turns out that there is a real life with its joys and sorrows, and there is also some kind of school there - boring, unfriendly, woven from difficulties. She is intimidated in the same way as in earlier childhood - Babai. Why then be surprised if children are on the side of life?

Reminding a child that yes, from September the load will objectively increase is one thing. And it’s better if the emphasis is on time planning, on the fact that during your studies you should also have enough time for your favorite things, for family walks, and so on. But it is a completely different matter to escalate the negative.

Therefore, the first thing we can do is to carefully review our vocabulary, tone of statements, even facial expressions. If we really do not want to continue to form a fear of school in children, or, perhaps, we are trying to weaken the already existing negative attitude towards it.

Otherwise, we will not free the child from the feeling of fragmentation. This feeling is due to the fact that Vasya the son is infinitely loved by mom and dad, and Vasya the schoolboy gives his parents so much headache that it would be better if this damned school didn’t exist at all!

“August is in full swing, and you haven’t repeated anything”

Of course, there is no universal answer to the question of what exactly summer classes should be filled with. I know that traditionally parents try to “extract” residual knowledge of Russian and foreign languages, and mathematics from their children. But my experience tells me that in the summer you can repeat anything, and you shouldn’t “offend” geography, history, even life safety here.

Oh no! I am not calling for textbooks to be imposed on the child in July-August, I only emphasize that studying in the summer is not at all the same as doing the lessons in the school year. Let the child just be nearby in the kitchen and talk something confusingly about the school, about the same life safety, let him remember funny incidents in the classroom! I can give two hundred percent - he will definitely say something from the material covered, and let it not be mathematics a thousand times! With the help of subtle questions "from afar" it will be possible to redirect the conversation into the mainstream of related disciplines.

Ustimenko family. Photo by Boris Ovsyannikov

History, geography, life safety, even physics - after all, no one will argue that these school subjects are actually very connected. The son did not want to remember the laws of physics - be calm, he will involuntarily come to them through geography or the notorious life safety.

And I also made sure that all the questions about the summer repetition - the reluctance of children, the pressure of parents - do not belong to the educational plane. These are more questions of trust between generations.

Earlier, when only the eldest son went to school, I suffered from excessive “canonicity”: I tried to seat him at the table, lay out notebooks. Then came the understanding that this was not only ineffective, but also unnatural, insincere. Instead of confidential communication with the child, not delimited by calls and circles, there was a pathetic parody of communication. Instead of conversations about life, about the beauty and harmony of this world - and here there is a direct connection with the outside world and mathematics - it turned out to be a vacation brawl on the topic “August is already in full swing, and you, shameless, did not repeat anything.”

Even for handwriting training, you can use something interesting. For example, to declare a day of silence and everyone in the family to communicate on this day exclusively in the epistolary genre. Well, to consolidate the solution of problems, to use the multiplication table - we play in the store. “Behind the counter” alternately stands either an adult or one of the children. And then be sure to invite the children to discuss all the difficulties that they encountered when counting, that is, again, we rely on communication.

And the principle of separation of duties is also effective, when the elders conduct classes with the younger ones. It’s good for everyone here: the younger ones have training, the parents have rest, but the older ones try on the difficult role of a controlling body. I only had time to smile touchingly when the son, with whom I myself studied so mediocre in other years, exactingly checked the lessons of his daughter.

Let the child want the day to “boil” as soon as possible

The academic year of our children is not only school, but often also additional education. Someone is engaged in circles, sections, "musicians" simply out of obedience to their parents. Someone - because he is convinced that one school is a variant of "nerd". Someone is completely immersed in creativity, in scientific research, in sports - for him, an ordinary school becomes an additional institution.

I believe that in any case, it is necessary to build a concept of additional education for the coming year. This is the planning of days - the most and least loaded. This is the coordination of the training time of each child with the general family schedule. This is the replacement of one circle with another.

Properly thought out in the summer, the concept of additional education can affect the motivation for learning in general. After all, mathematics-Russian-reading-technology is a common territory. And, perhaps, only having found his little clearing, the child will want to run headlong through the endless field of "general" sciences.

Even if one of the children permanently leaves the “art school” or, say, basketball, this is also a matter that requires planning. No, not necessarily in those five hours a week that the student used to devote to the sports section, now you need to “go for groceries, pick up your brother from the garden, walk Rex.” Have some time for reading or watching TV. Personally, I learned to “not perform” even when my favorite reading came at the expense of required works. The main thing is to quietly keep everything under control.

The goal of any changes or, conversely, the rejection of changes: here, a child wakes up in the morning and he terribly wants this day to “boil” as soon as possible. And it doesn’t matter here that today there are two control tests, and then an hour and a half to shake in the bus to get to the flute and solfeggio.

I often hear that, they say, the child will have no time to wander the streets, looking for dubious friends. But I would venture to say (and this is also from experience) that out-of-school education has another wonderful resource. Additional classes can make diligent schoolchildren out of "resistance" and nihilists. After all, only a few of the children really do not want to learn. And the rest - so, fool around.

They do not like the observance of school "canons" - dress code, etiquette, rules for processing work, and so on. And everything else in the school for them, speaking their own language, is the norm. And often it is regular visits to creative studios, sports sections that can make you convinced that without observing external regulations, not a single step. Otherwise - a disaster, chaos. After all, you did not come here because of a “commitment”, but because, one way or another, it is interesting. But even here, in the zone of creative self-expression, sports excitement, like it or not, you follow the canons, you study how they did before you. Plus a tough schedule, form, discipline, penalties.

This understanding will inevitably spread to the ordinary school. If a child who allegedly does not want to study does not go anywhere except for the main school, there will be clearly less chances for a change in attitude towards school. He simply will not have the opportunity to compare and see much in common. And hoping that the situation will straighten out by itself by graduation is not an undertaking for the faint of heart. At least, if not Hephaestus by order forges nerves.

Ghost as a symbol of calm

In conclusion, I would like to tell you about one remarkable case that happened with us in the middle of summer. Daughter Katya, a big lover of custard cakes, who has passed into the second grade, as if by the way, threw a note at us. I must say, the daughter with might and main experienced the pedagogical indifference of her mother in her own skin. Saying this, I am not disingenuous - in the total cycle of circles, the recommended “homework” was performed in our hurry, an hour before bedtime.

“If you don’t buy Katya’s custard tomorrow evening, then at 9 pm a ghost will come to you,” it was written there. Then followed a verbal explanation - the ghost will be really scary and will not spare anyone.

No, the zealots of the rights of the child can sleep peacefully: cakes, like other sweets, are not uncommon in our family. Just at that particular moment there was a “monstrous” pause of three days. Therefore, if someone wants to contact the guardianship authorities, I will advise him to do this in connection with the violation of the rights of the teeth that live in the oral cavity of our child.

As a result, we forgot to buy a cake, and the “ghost” never came to us. But what made me really calm down was the level of knowledge of the Russian language. To see in the letters of a child, even in this single phrase, only one mistake - I wanted to cry with joy! I did not always have time to check the knowledge of even the most elementary rules passed through the Russian language. And then I suddenly realized that some threshold in familiarizing with literacy had already been overcome.

Here it is, a symbolic sign that tells me that it's time to relax a little! It's time not so much to pester the child with checks, rules and cramming, but to believe in him and just charge him with a good mood!

Here it is - the best start to the beginning of the school year. This is a parent who is not annoyed to the whole world, not whining about the “dull time” coming. This is a parent who believes in the success of the child and is convinced that you just need to be there.

It is sad for a child to walk alone along the school path, at times trying to predict what else “Princess Marya Aleksevna” from the parent committee will write in the chat about his student fate. But it’s also boring for us to sit in messengers and grumble. So we must go together. And fill the joint path with joy.

And the child, I believe, will appreciate it. And how many stories from the summer list of literature have been read or how many tasks for repetition have been solved - this is already the tenth thing.

Why?! Why?!?!?! Yes, this damned building takes 11 years of our life for the sake of a piece of paper and a golden medal, where the cat cried for gold! But then we can safely enter universities or get a job in McDuck. After 5 years of study with a diploma in hand, you can safely get a job in a McDuck, where we will definitely be accepted, because we have a medal and a red diploma!

This is a creepy place where we are taught in advance to adapt to each teacher in order to please everyone. This is the place where the numbers in the diary destroy our nervous system no worse than alcoholic drinks. And finally, school is a place where we are taught to be adults, think like adults, choose an adult profession, part with childhood dreams and learn to set adult goals for ourselves.

I don't hate school just because it gave me at least some knowledge. Otherwise, for me, she remains a devourer of my childhood, time and ...

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Timofey Drogin, 11-year-old speaker of the teen conference "Tomorrow named_", tells why children lose their desire to learn and eventually begin to hate school.

1. Teacher

When you first come to school, they immediately try to instill fear in you. One of them is the teacher's fear.

2. Fear of evaluation

After the first fear, the next one develops - the fear of evaluation. And then the fear of punishment of the parents, the director of the school. At school, they don’t look at who you are, you are judged only by your grades.

3. Fear of error

Another is the fear of making a mistake. The school does not teach that it is possible and necessary to make mistakes, because this is the only way you can learn something new.

4. Trolling

Another reason is the ridicule of classmates. And it is often the fault of teachers who make fun of children by pointing out to them that they are doing something differently than their classmates. For them, the grade is more important than the student. I went to the children's creativity club, where I learned to weave from beads, sculpt from ...

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Some children do not like to go to school. It would be their desire, they would bypass the place of torment on the tenth road. Why do kids hate school? Let's try to find out, because, knowing the reasons, it is easier to eliminate them.

1. Homework

This is most likely the most common reason. The child spent half a day at school (studied, studied), and then came home. But they don't let him play, they don't let him outside until he does his homework. Like, if you do the job, then go for a walk. And he has to study again, study ...

Tip: Students need to rest too, so don't seat them right after class. Let them first have lunch, rest, play, and only then, with renewed vigor, they begin to study.

2. School lasts forever

You need to go to it 5 days a week (or even 6) from 6 years old to 18 years old with breaks for holidays. If we add extracurricular circles and sections to this, then it will be possible to understand why at some point children get tired of constant learning.

Tip: If your...

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What happens next? Why do you lose interest in learning? Why do some children grasp everything quickly, while others slow down? Why does homework often end in scandal? Why do students get distracted, frustrated, angry, and even drop out of school? And most importantly, what to do with all this? Have you also encountered such learning problems?

If you already have answers like: “Teachers are to blame for everything (parents, friends, TV, street, school, and so on to choose from), you can stop reading further. You don’t need it.

If you are really looking for answers, then there is good news for you.

In the 1950s and 60s, the American scientist L. Ron Hubbard conducted extensive research in the field of education, which helped to identify the main reason that determines the student's inability to master the subject. He found that there are three main barriers to learning.

Of course, many may not believe this, however, there are only THREE of them! And if you teach a student (or better, ...

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This is your puppy, now he is yours forever.

And you don't want to, but you count his days and years.

And with each new day your love for him grows.

It will become huge when he dies.
Dolphin. "Milk"

I hated school when I was 10, I hated it when I was 15, I hate it now. I will not publicly name the number of the school where I studied, but I can say with confidence: it was terrible. Even compared to other schools. And this is not another post "the education system is shit, I could do better!" I want to tell you exactly what I endured for 11 years specifically at my school.

School uniform. You can start with the fact that I do not see the point in it as such. The same clothes for all schoolchildren will not help to "concentrate on the subject" and "not be distracted by extraneous things." These are ordinary clothes, and no one will gain a single drop of brain if he puts them on. Moreover, the nasty funeral black suit, on the contrary, drove me into depression ...

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Why do Russians hate school?

More and more Russian first-graders do not want to go to school from the very first days, and up to 90% of students graduate from school with a negative attitude towards it. This was announced by the director of the Institute of Developmental Physiology of the Russian Academy of Education Maryana Bezrukikh. According to her data, up to 80% of children do not want to go to the first grade. 30 years ago, more than 99% of kids went to school with a desire. Usually the number of those who do not want to study grows by December. What is the reason for this situation? According to Maryana Bezrukikh, now they manage to torture future first-graders already before school. Huge loads are thrown on them - both foreign languages, and many sections, circles, etc. Thus, the intensification of learning is greatly increased, and the children's learning opportunities remain the same. Children in recent years have become neither smarter, nor mentally or physically more developed, but here is the store of information with which they come to school ...

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COMPUTERRA

Why Kids Hate School, or Disturbing Thoughts About Apple

Sergei Golubitsky

Even people who have never held gadgets from Cupertino in their hands know that on October 22 there was a presentation of new Apple products. Don’t just think that you planned to chew once again what the reading public was forced to chew all the media from early morning: you can’t prove that an unprecedentedly long line of new products of excellent quality integration into the ecosystem is guaranteed to provide the company’s securities with a growth of up to 800 points by the spring of 2014 years (my personal belief), nor gnashing my teeth angrily and grumbling that “Yopl is not the same anymore”, “Wall Street is disappointed because it was waiting for another” (what, I wonder, was waiting for - the announcement of a silo or a strap-on from nanotechnology?) I I'm not going to: let everyone evaluate the event to the extent of their own depravity. But what I'm going to do is tell two funny stories that I met on the Slate portal, which I respect very much, and then...

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Mother! I don’t feel well!” a child screams from the bathroom, in which he locked himself 15 minutes ago. and, worst of all, this is the third time this month that the child has begun to complain that something hurts, just at the time when it is time to leave the house.What is happening?

Most kids complain about school at least once in a while. But about 5 percent of children do not like school to such an extent that they refuse to go there. And most often this happens to those who are going to school for the first time. It is very important to understand why this is happening.

Parents can do a lot to quell this fear. First, you need to understand if you are unintentionally putting excessive pressure on your child. Secondly, if we are talking about the fears of a child who goes to school for the first time, try to bring him there a little earlier. So...

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Very topical and topical. Now I am reading a book by N. F. Zamyatkin "It is impossible to teach you a foreign language." That would be ADEQUATE people to write school textbooks!

___________________________________________________________________

There is simply no "learning grammar" - in the usual sense of the word - with my approach. Do not rush, however, to turn pale and blush, my kind interlocutor, do not rush - once again - to tear this book and burn it on the sacred fire of your noble indignation - you will, of course, know the grammar. When the matrix is ​​worked out, all the grammar necessary to move on to the next stage - "marathon" reading - will be indelibly imprinted in your brain, surrendered to the mercy of the winner!
By the end of the year - after you have read your three thousand pages - you will know grammar as well as, and perhaps even better than, a graduate of the Faculty of Foreign Languages. You will not know the useless scientific verbal ...

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10

29/09/03, European Championship
Oh, so many romantic memories with the school. about the city of memories. about a black-eyed boy. about desks, corridors, offices, toilets. there are all sorts of notebooks, irresponsibility. I wish I could go to school ... I can’t even look. :((

04/10/03, Tess...
I used to hate her, but now things have changed a little. At school, every day I can see my beloved, and not only him. I hate teachers. But now it’s not about them. School is so cool!

10/10/03, Stupidity
I love and have always loved school :) Because I like to study, because school is a lot of fun and because there I have my best friends and friends :)

13/10/03, Ned
I love my school - so, for the most part. There are my friends, all funny funny people, and the teachers are not very authoritarian. You can argue with them and bazaar on any free topic. And most of all I love girls classmates. Cool girls, you can make fun of them, and they almost all understand jokes. In short, my...

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11

We didn’t go to the kindergarten, because the younger brother appeared and I was at home, but he didn’t like it in the kindergarten. There, “everyone is forced to play train, but I don’t want to ride on their train, I will be an uncoupled car,” and also “I will be sick so that you sit at home with me,” he said, and indeed every three days he got sick and I sat at home with him. After three months, we gave up trying to go to kindergarten so as not to torment the child, not to bring an infection into the house for the youngest, and in general to continue to enjoy each other.

But if it was possible not to go to the garden, then we did not manage to “get around” the school in any way. Although, my child really wanted to go to school, he was ready to communicate with children, he liked to study, because in this sensitive period, children are ready to learn and communicate. He enthusiastically said: “Mom, I’ll learn something new there every day, it’s probably very interesting there.” Having passed the exams, having passed the selection !!! we ended up in a “good school” where six months later the child said that he was “not good” and “why else ...

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There are many interesting things on the student's list that he would love to do, just to not go to school: watch TV, work on the Internet, go shopping, read interesting books, play video games. Nothing bothers him, and we felt the same when we were at that age. But what do you do when things get out of control and your child walks into school with a feeling of dread or anxiety? Here are some tips to help your child get rid of negative attitudes towards school: Is your child bored? School is the same work, and it will not always be fun there. You cannot take children out of the reality of life, but you can try to instill in him an interest in learning. The first step is care and attention. Sit next to him, ask him about what is happening at school, look at his notebooks and diary. Also, very smart children can get bored in the classroom if the work in the classroom is too easy for them. You can talk to the teacher and ask him to increase his workload to arouse his child's interest in learning. Is your child overloaded? It happens that children make a lot of efforts in order to perform tasks well and keep up with classmates. But it is very hard for them. The child feels that no matter how hard he tries, he does not manage to do everything well, and he simply refuses to go further. Ask his teacher what can be done to help him and make the learning process easier. Does your child hate the teacher? In this case, it is necessary to talk with the child and find out the cause of the misunderstanding. Why does he have negative feelings towards the teacher? What happened? You should not immediately make claims to the teacher, as the perception of your child may be unreasonable. If the teacher really did something wrong, was too demanding, you just have to explain how to behave in this situation. But if the problem becomes more serious, the baby shows signs of stress, you need to intervene and communicate with the teacher, not blame him, but bring him to his attention, and try to improve their relationship. Is your child having problems with classmates? Sometimes the problem is not with the school, but with the children. Are they bullying? If he has communication problems? Did he get into a fight with his best friend? Encourage him to share his feelings, and look for ways to build trust. You may need the help of a psychologist, but do not forget that only love and understanding can easily save your child from school-related problems. And you can also pray! After all, prayer expresses love for your child. A mother's prayer for the well-being of children always truly works wonders!

On our website about child psychology: The child's craving for knowledge is so great that he will certainly fit in somewhere and do something. This is how it is expressed child psychology.How to relate to the tricks of the baby? Here is a classic life situation, which can be used to understand the huge difference in the perception of children and adults: active child I climbed into my favorite service and broke a crystal glass. How do parents react? For them, a broken glass is a pile of rubbish on the floor; next, the fear active child cut yourself, anger and regret over the loss of a beautiful thing, which, moreover, costs money. Most likely, the child will be scolded, shamed, maybe slapped on the pope. But what the child sees and feels: "What a beautiful little thing is standing there." He takes a chair, climbs in, touches a glass. "There are pictures here, you can feel them. How cold. I wonder if it is tasty?" He raises his glass. "And heavy..." The glass falls, breaking into thousands of sparkling and iridescent fragments. "How beautiful." Little explorer, our active child smiling, clapping his hands in delight ... And then mom and dad come running to the noise. "Mom screams a lot, I must have done something bad" Wide-open eyes fill with tears ... In such cases, you should not scold too much active child, as this can discourage learning, which may even affect school performance in the future. He should explain to him why his mother was so upset and tell him not to do that. And, of course, you need to make sure that active child did not use your excessive kindness, otherwise he will sit on his neck. In general, stick to the golden mean, without going to extremes in a fit of emotions, and then you will be proud of your children. If you want to be an authority for your child even when the word "child" stops being addressed to your active child, you should know some methods from child psychology that will allow you to grow from your inquisitive active child decent and good person. Rule number 1. The word "no" is the law. Any healthy child begins to understand human speech from 2-2.5 years. From the same age, one should explain to the baby what is good and what is bad. Or more precisely, to teach a child not to eat sand, not to pull wires, not to grab animals, etc. All this can be done with a single word - the word "no". After all child psychology extremely flexible. Rule number 2. Punishment without screaming and beating. In no case do not hit the child and do not raise your voice at him. This will be a rough blow to child psychology. The most effective punishment for a child from five years old is a corner, for a child from two to five - a high chair or a step. When punishing, be sure to explain mobile child what he is punished for and what he must do to remove the punishment. Attempts to run away from the corner / get off the chair or steps immediately stop by returning active child to the place of punishment with the words: "You are punished (a) and you will sit here"! Takova child psychology!Rule number 3. Be responsible for your words. No matter how funny and childish it may sound, but if you do not keep your words, your authority in the eyes of a child is inexorably falling. This is how it works child psychology! So if you say mobile child that he will play the computer for half an hour, you should not feel sorry for the baby and succumb to his persuasion when the specified period expires, and you don’t want to leave because of the monitor. Otherwise active child he will understand that you can be easily "broken" by tears or pleas, and you can not listen to your words at all - say one thing and do another. Of course, this is far from everything that smart parents should know, but following these three simple rules will make life much easier for you and yours. mobile child and well strengthen child psychology.

2011-06-26 14:54:11 All articles about children's health and problems of mother and child on our website
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Does your child not like going to school? Do you have to make him wake up every day, get ready and go to class? Are you afraid that this may become a habit and he will lose interest in learning? If you are concerned about your child's growing hatred of school and want to help them right away, you should read this article!

1. A sharp increase in academic workload. Sometimes you can notice that the child has suddenly changed his attitude towards school, this is especially striking at the beginning of a new school year.

• The child may have difficulty adapting to a change in the pace of learning compared to the previous grade (year).
• The curriculum may seem too heavy, or the child may find that they get too much homework or assignments each day.
• Also, if there are new subjects in the child's schedule this year, it will probably be difficult for him to cope with the additional load, at least at first.

How to deal with it? As a parent, you must help your child move from one class to another smoothly and comfortably.

• Discuss academic workload with your child. If he feels that there is too much homework, make a schedule that will help him structure his time more effectively.
• Ask him to temporarily reduce the number of extracurricular activities and hobbies and focus on new subjects. Encourage your child to spend more time learning those subjects that are more difficult for him than others and where he feels lagging behind. After he gains confidence and good knowledge in school subjects, he can continue to pursue his favorite hobbies.

2. Bullying at school. School bullying - bullying is one of the worst nightmares for a child that he can face at school, despite strict rules that prohibit any form of humiliation and violence.

• Your child may become a victim of school bullying by classmates, older students, or even some teachers.
• A group of children may tease or make fun of your child. Some children may threaten and bully him during school hours.
• Your toddler may experience bullying from older students or others on the school bus or public transportation.
• If your child walks home, they may be physically or verbally bullied by fellow travelers or neighbors.

How to deal with it? Watch for indirect signs, for some kind of signals that will tell you that your child has become a victim of bullying.

• The child may suddenly lose interest in school, to the point of hatred, or may suddenly become quiet and indifferent and lose interest in previously enjoyed activities.
• Talk softly to your child and find out if anyone has hurt them at school. Often, he may be afraid that if you complain to the school management or teachers, the bully will find out about it, and the bullying will continue, and maybe with renewed vigor. Calmly tell the child that you will help him in every way possible and will approach the solution of the problem with the mind.
• If your child experiences physical abuse, you should consult with the school administration, who will offer options for further action, including contacting the police, in order to prevent further violent behavior in the school.

3. Stress factor. Sometimes going to school can lead to such a stressful state that the child may refuse further education altogether.

• Your child, too, may suffer from a lot of stress in life, and many of them come from school.
• At school, the child is always under psychological pressure, as everyone expects him to study well and get good grades. At home, you also expect good preparation from your child, timely and high-quality completion of assignments, and night vigils before exams.
• With so many tasks, the child may simply not have enough time to communicate with peers. He may often miss meetings with friends, which are very important for his maturation and development, including his mental and social well-being.

How to deal with it? A parent is the person who can help a child find a balance between learning and socialization.

• Realize the importance of having friends and having fun in your child's life. In an effort to succeed, don't force him to become a "bookworm" and a recluse.
• Help your child plan their day well. If he has a lot of homework during the week, make sure that he has enough time for rest during these five days, and on weekends he can let off steam with friends.

4. Lack of interest in learning. It is quite possible that instead of an active academic interest, your child feels some kind of professional inclination, a vocation for something.

• The child may not be able to understand a particular subject or may be bored in class.
• He may find it unnecessary to study something that does not interest him at all, and perhaps even recognize such study as a waste of time.
• In addition, if your child has already studied a certain subject in the previous grade and has not made much progress in it, he may worry about the results of further study of this subject and lose all interest in it.

How to deal with it? Explain to your child how a particular school subject can expand their knowledge and help them achieve their own ambitions.