If you are not too lazy to read my story, then I will be very grateful to you, if you are still too lazy, then at least take your soul away. In general, I am 16 years old and perhaps you will immediately have the thought: "It is clear that she is a girl, which means she has problems of a love nature." The answer is short and clear: NO. My main dilemma that I've been struggling with since 3rd grade is "Why does everyone hate me?". I agree, the topic is banal, but still. I don’t drink, I don’t smoke, I don’t date crowds of guys (I’m not really interested in this), I’m a little closed, overly shy, if someone asks for help, I help, but only to those people who don’t offend me. I was beaten and laughed at; that they just don’t come up with now - and that I have a terrible face, or that I’m fat (this is partly true, I’m not a super-beauty with a slender figure, but it’s still very insulting). And the most interesting thing is that I would never join people like them. Girls talk about boys and love, boys talk about sex, and I'm sick of both. Because of the constant mockery, a lot of complexes have arisen in me, which have penetrated their roots deep into my soul and sometimes I can’t cope with spontaneous tears. I never thought that people would bring me so much trouble, pain, nerves, tears. And the most annoying thing is that there is no one to ask for help, my parents work for my education (I don’t want to pester them), I have no friends and relatives too. And do not say: "In the future, their fate will punish" or "They will understand their mistakes." NO, these individuals will not understand anything, and especially in the future! If you don't mind taking a few minutes to write some good advice, relying on the present and not on the future, I will be very glad. Probably, I'm very stupid, since I myself can not answer this, but nevertheless. Sorry for the wordiness. Boiled.
Rate:
Disappointed, age: 09/16/2012
Responses:I have several versions about your question "Why does everyone hate me?". I just want to know who exactly? I understand that we are talking about classmates. So, classmates treat you badly, because:
1. Envy you. You will probably immediately object: "What is there to envy, I'm not a beauty, shy, etc., etc." But the fact is that you do not see yourself from the outside and you have low self-esteem. I am sure that there is some trait in your character and appearance that causes their envy.
2. You are very different from others, do not support the opinion of the majority, do not succumb to their negative influence on yourself, condemn their actions and way of life. They feel it, even if you don't voice your displeasure. That's why they try to humiliate you.
3. Fate has prepared trials on your way to temper your character, develop traits in you that will be useful in the future and lead you to success.
Whatever the reason for the bad attitude towards you, I see the solution to the problem in the following steps:
1. Accept and not respond with aggression to aggression. It is useless to resist, it will only worsen the situation. Try to ignore the deaf ears and not take personally the ridicule of messengers. You are a pretty girl and a good person, and all their mockery suggests that your classmates have serious personality problems. They can only sympathize.
2. Learn to appreciate those people who treat you well, for example, parents. Do something nice for them more often. Help mom with housework.
3. Spend more time studying. Find yourself some hobby and look for friends with the same interests, communication with which will enrich you internally and bring pleasure.
4. Don't want punishment for your offenders. Understand, it will not become easier for you that fate will punish them, just as it will not get worse from the fact that this injustice will go unpunished. Try to focus on thoughts about your future, on how to make it happy, how to surround yourself with loving people, how to succeed in your future profession. Then fate will definitely reward you.
Good luck. Don't be discouraged.
Elena, age: 09/28/08/2012
Hello, dear girl) I would like to start with the fact that no one has such power to disappoint you in life ... Of course, I am not a psychologist and I don’t know how useful my advice will be, but I can’t get past your story .. .mne seems to me that you attach too much importance to your classmates, they affect your worldview and worldview, or rather the feeling of yourself and the perception of yourself, and negative. You MUST VALUE YOURSELF, you must respect yourself ... They are just children who have not yet achieved anything, have not created anything, who simply say stupid things in an attempt to assert themselves by humiliating another person ... do you really feel their low, narrow views?) Therefore, if you respect yourself, you should not pay attention to their meanness. You must "set" yourself for this, you must value yourself, your classmates are not the people who should be listened to in matters relating to you. They are children, moreover, not smart and with unreasonably high conceit ... you just can’t imagine how valuable you are, every person is priceless ... about appearance, I’m sure that you are beautiful)) take care of yourself and it’s in the bag) how as soon as you begin to appreciate and respect yourself, people will reach out to you) my words are not unfounded, I myself had a difficult situation with classmates, but at least they knew that it was better not to get involved) I wish you happiness, sunshine, and kind, good people on your way)
mademoiselle, age: 20 / 09/08/2012
Hey! You say that absolutely everyone offends and hates, but it’s not clear how wide your social circle is... Are these classmates who live with you in the same area and their accomplices?! It looks like they found themselves a "punching bag". Oh, then you have to endure until the end of school, but it doesn’t hurt to start building on the future ... It’s not clear what opportunities you have to solve such a problem - there are a lot of options.
One day, I was given amazing advice: SURROUND YOURSELF WITH PEOPLE WITH A SIMILAR MIND! If they are offended because of their appearance, wipe their noses with them all, take care of yourself, only correctly. Eat vitamins, go in for sports (you can do it at home), read literature, how to use cosmetics correctly .... in general, prepare yourself so as not to look stupid and not overdo it. It's a pity, but we judge how successful a person is by appearance (although I'm sure that you have real natural beauty) ... Do not reject such methods right away, start first, then you might like it yourself.
It is not necessary to go to exhibitions and bars to find good friends. To get started, just chat on the Internet, since you are shy, then you will understand what you need.
In the end, you will be able to find people with whom you will be pleased to communicate and who will be able to stand up for you, if you look different and like yourself, self-confidence will appear ... and do not think that such changes take a lot a lot of time - you won't have time to look back;)
And such "offenders" need justice. You need someone to stand up for you! Never be ashamed to ask for help.
But never doubt yourself!
Bottom line: look for friends with a similar mindset!
LolStap , age: 09/24/2012
Listen, as I understand you, I experienced it myself. Unfortunately, I can’t give advice for the present, but in the future it will all pass, I speak from my own experience ... Try to change schools, it helped me.
The main thing is that the school must be in a safe area.
You just have to survive this test...
Good luck!
Name , age: 21/09/2012
SPECIAL - as I understand it, you are talking about parents, but I'm sorry, this is not correct. The rest of the world looks at you through your eyes. Everything is inside us and love and hatred and self-acceptance and self-abasement. At 16, it’s normal to think about something other than sex and love, otherwise help your parents around the house, get a part-time job so your parents don’t get killed at work for your education, and write a thank you word on a piece of paper and think about it. I read one expression, I really liked it, I applied it to myself, and realized that everything was fine with me - "... Ingratitude is born where a person is given more than he can absorb."
Olga, age: 51 / 09/10/2012
You are not stupid, you are not like them. Most likely, they pester not PERSONALLY you, but you as a person not from their crowd. Not you, so another will be in this place. Moreover, each of them could be in your place in other circumstances.
Adults do this too, only more sophisticatedly)
I had a similar problem, it helped me to communicate with those who treated me well.
Find something for which you could respect yourself and develop it in yourself.
And yet, if you think that everyone hates you, sit down and write by name who. And who simply does not go against the majority in order to save his own skin, and by and large he doesn’t care, but who rather treats you well, etc. You'll see, the list of "hating" in real life will be reduced to a few people (aggressive and not smart).
Evgeniya, age: 09/29/2012
There is one piece of advice here. Change schools and start all over again. I myself was bullied by classmates, but I was lucky. We moved and I went to another school where I had a chance to start over.
Mira, age: 27 / 15.10.2012
And don’t be upset))) everything will be fine))) they hate me too, but if I honestly don’t give a damn, they also come up with nicknames for me, and one boy says that you are too thin and not beautiful) but I don’t give a damn !!! I’m 12 soon 13 will be I'm in the 8th grade))) they also say nasty things to me) but I don't care) I don't listen to them at all))) in fact (I'm beautiful and not fat and not too thin)
)))))) , age: 10/12/2012
Hey! I've had problems all my life, just like you. also in kindergarten, and at school, and already on
work, there were always people who treated me badly. I've been an outcast all my life. although I always try
not to offend anyone, does not treat prejudicedly, I always treat people kindly, for which they often
respond with evil.
advice - fuck them. those who are angry with you, then they are simply limited in some way. nobody's perfect. none
better and not worse than us. leaving one place does not solve the problem, because they are everywhere.
advice - find something to your liking, appreciate yourself, never humiliate yourself, go in for sports, improve your body,
find your style while there is time, because you still have to get married :-) hurt - ignore :-)
I'm into boxing and it doesn't bother me at all. I was also fat, but in three years of fitness I lost 20kg! I
I got the perfect shape and I'm happy. now I have a husband and a son :-) and it’s also an unreal thrill to buy any
a beautiful thing, without worrying whether you fit into it or not :-) and never impose on guys, be a little different
easy prey, and you will find your happiness :-) if you run after them - this is one grief. everything has been tested, believe me.
good luck, believe in yourself, love yourself, appreciate yourself, indulge yourself, improve yourself. it's time to act! your fate
depends only on you! find the strength in yourself to change everything! everything will work out!!
Tygra , age: 28 / 25.12.2012
Don't pay attention to them. hit? beat them yourself and be strong.
Albina, age: 20/10.03.2013
Sweet girl, you need to solve your problems as they come. firstly, in our time, appearance rules - do not spare money - go to a stylist, be sure to a hairdresser, ask to make you a stylish hairstyle, dye your hair in the color that suits you, with a stylist, choose the styles of clothing that suit you, for this you do not need to buy it in expensive boutiques, just you will be guided - what you should wear and what you do not need, do not spare money for a couple of makeup lessons. you can ask the make-up artist right in the salon. You will be taught how to paint correctly, they will select the right makeup for you. yes, it will cost money, but without it there is no where. besides, it is quite affordable and if you rummage through the Internet, you can find many stylists, makeup artists, and so on. at reasonable prices. sports and diet are a must. you don’t need to spend money on the gym - you fell to the floor and pump the press, wave your legs, instead of dinner, salad and after 5 do not eat. that's the whole formula for your success. there are no ways like "do not listen", "do not pay attention to those who offend you" - you will either be your own life at this celebration, or you will be a white crow that everyone will peck at. we are greeted by clothes. well, they see you off according to your mind, so no one has canceled your studies and a good university - try to enter a good university, this will only complement your image of a successful person. do you need friends? wind up on the net, in clubs of interest .. do something .. well, at least photography, or anything else and find friends on the net with the same interests. join a fan club of some group, they get together from time to time, communicate. believe in yourself and change!
maha, age: 03/28/2013
I, too, was always offended and boycotted, and I didn’t know how to deal with it, once I managed to pull myself together: I laughed in the face of the offender and suddenly saw that it puzzled her, the hatred did not end from this, but I became more confident, the fear passed , but understanding why this happens came when I was 50 years old.
Lena, age: 62 / 04/12/2013
Author, they hate you precisely because you are different from them, you are better than them. Your classmates are trying to bring you to emotions and "break", this is obvious. In this case, you can try to find intercessors (one is enough), or go to a psychologist for consultations, well, or find some business (hobby) that would help you be more persistent and stick to your position. I hope everything will work out for you.
light, age: 14/26.06.2013
I understand you perfectly, I also had to face this horror. Every God's day I came to school, and each time I wondered why they hated me, yes, I'm plump, not Miss Universe, but how people whose topics of conversation are limited only to intercourse and complaints about unfair teachers can condemn me. Believe me, these Australopithecus will never reach your level, and your task is to realize yourself in life and achieve academic success.
Karinochka, age: 17/18.12.2013
I know what you mean...
Leo, age: 15 / 14.03.2014
My good girl, be sure to tell your mom or dad about your trouble, they gave you life and their heart will tell you the way out. They are probably the only people on earth who love you and will always love you, trust them. Think about how much grief you will bring to them with your silence (or distrust?), because on a nervous basis it is possible to get sick, God forbid. Read the prayer "Our Father" when you can, go to the temple, maybe you need to cry, dear? It won't be long, but it will get easier. Why didn't you write your name? I will pray for you, try to get out of the vicious circle, break out. Just start thinking about some way out, and you will see, little by little, the situation will begin to change for the better. I love you, good luck. I believe everything will change.
Oksana, age: 45 / 03/31/2014
Your problems are because you don't like people.
Wish everyone happiness. Every day. Sincerely.
Alexander, age: 35 / 04/04/2014
It's the same with me. I hated it as a child, and now I'm at the university. They either avoid talking to me or they need me to help. I already spat on all this. The main thing is your future family and you, maybe a few close friends too. And the rest of the people were strangers, and will remain so. You can't even remember their faces.
Olga, age: 05/23/2014
I have the same problem now. You won’t go out into the street, you won’t enter school, they call you names everywhere. I’m just as shy, full, in short, not a fountain. There are a lot of complexes that make you want to roar. If you think that they are smarter than you, you are mistaken. (skin and bones) call them matches, anorexics ... But calling names will make you the same as they are. Try to accept them as they are, these people are weak, what will happen if they are called insulting to tears. Or take everything in they call a joke, and you laugh at yourself and they will leave you behind; they will not be interested in calling you names or don’t pay attention. Find new friends sign up for the circles that you would like to do, go in for sports if you don’t want there to be no trace of your fullness but don’t overdo it to a thin match be average you know very slim it’s not very beautiful to be. Read books learn languages and you you will be able to communicate on any topic and the circle of friends will be bigger you will become the soul of the company than these no topics except boys, love, sex boys. And smile :)
Karina, age: 12/11/06/2014
They are nobody to you. The main thing is to take care of yourself, find a hobby, set vital goals and objectives. At school now, to put it mildly, they do not like me. So what?
Find yourself real friends, but do not trust people too much: they can, figuratively speaking, stab you in the back. Listen to the advice of family and friends. Society is often a herd that is guided by the advice of the leader. By the way, Napoleon was also bullied at school at first. :)
Lynx, age: 16/20.08.2014
Hasanova, age: 46 / 11/27/2014
Go in for sports. For example fitness. Correct the figure and make friends - like-minded people. Do not complex in the gym. Not everyone has a perfect body. People come there to improve themselves.
cheerful_rats , age: 35/12/27/2014
Pretty Girl. In the present, you can only change schools. These people who surround you will never accept you if they did not accept you right away. If there is no way, then you will have to endure. Then
try not to pay attention. And know that you are better than them, because you do not join the herd. And only a herd of sheep asserts itself by humiliating other people, those who are without this herd
they can't do anything on their own. Each of them is simply afraid to be in your place, so they bleat together in your direction. Everything will be fine with you. Think more about the future. Good job.
Svetlana, age: 03/32/2015
I am the same!!! Fuck it and try to find all the same at least one girlfriend. Together it's easier to fight off the crowd ;-) good luck to you! And be strong inside!
Natulka, age: 01/32/2016
Until you acknowledge and accept yourself, this will continue. No matter how many schools, institutes, teams and jobs you change, you will be an outcast, because you
you reject yourself. You reject yourself, how should others accept you. Until you change the train of thought in a positive direction, it will continue. Conflict
with parents should also be settled. But your conflict with them is back in your head and it pours into reality. Accept them as they are. If they start to get bored
in your address, a mess begins in your head, rejection of what they say, rejection of the role - just spin the thought "Yes, yes, yes, my good ones, I understand you, but I want to do
like this..." no aggression, only calmness.
Arthur, age: 27/16.03.2016
Poor thing... I have the same problem, exactly as you stated. I don't have any friends either, everyone needs to be bullied... Unfortunately, I can't give you advice, but I really understand you.
Tom, age: 16 / 30.07.2016
Disappointed, you must have grown up and changed your outlook on life. Maybe you were lucky enough to find a soul mate .. I would be very happy if so.
I just wanted to say that I am the same.
The only thing is that they didn’t beat me: I was the smartest in the class and it was simply unprofitable for the children to spoof me.
Even today I cannot understand many points of contact between companies, accept slang and the way of life of children and youth...
I think the way out is to try to do your favorite art, throw out all the emotions into it ...
You can also get a pet if your parents don't mind. You hug him - and your soul is easier!
Animals understand and support everything!
Just me, age: 21/12/12/2016
Wow. This is very similar to me. I am considered ugly, fat and as if I hate people. I understand how hard it is to be and live with such an attitude. And, unfortunately, being in such a situation myself, I can not help ...
Hello dear readers! Today I would like to talk about what to do if you are hated. Conflicts at school, college, at work or at home can lead to serious communication problems. How not to succumb to provocations and remain a happy person. What can cause hatred. Why are your people behaving like this?
Kingdom of hate
Hate is a very strong feeling. It knows no mercy and consumes everything in its path. People who experience such strong feelings may not notice anything around, except for the object of hatred. Every person at least once in his life experienced the full force of hatred.
All people have certain characteristics that can cause negativity from others. In a group of people, it is customary to be something between an individual and part of a group. It is a certain constituent element of man. You are still you, but just like the rest of the band.
In addition, hatred can arise against a background of misunderstanding. When one person does not do what was expected of him. Shattered expectations may well give birth to a strong negative emotion towards you.
Hatred can be easily spread in the company of people. If one finds an object for malice, then he will most often begin to look for people who will support him in this. Such singers, who by themselves may not experience this feeling, but at the same time, for the company will terrorize a person.
Under the mask of hatred, a huge number of other emotions and feelings can be hidden. No wonder they say that from love to hate is just one step. If a person is important to you, then you should try to find out what can really be hidden under anger.
Getting advice on how to deal with such a situation depends on what you ultimately want to achieve. Let's take a closer look at this feeling in various stories.
Hatred in schools
At school or institute, in fact, it is not very important. The principle is very similar. There is a class or group in which one student often starts up, who becomes the object of ridicule. This is where the principle of similarity of all members of the group plays.
Classmates want to surround themselves with people they understand. They want to be like everyone else, albeit with differences. But the essence remains the same. In the classroom, it is customary for everyone to be a single whole. The same thing happens in summer camps, boarding schools, field trips and other gatherings of teenagers.
Children experience anger towards their peers when they are different from them. The so-called white crow. It is much easier to feel negative towards a person than to try to understand him. And at such a young age, it is still not entirely clear how, in general, to interact with people. You either like them or you don't. Teenagers are very fond of measuring everything in terms of “black” and “white”.
In such a situation, friends are very helpful. Who understand, support, share your special worldview. The person is in dire need of support. And a friend in this regard is an integral part. If you do not have friends at school or college, then you definitely need to find a place where you can meet like-minded people.
It could be an online community. Thanks to rapidly advancing technology, we can easily communicate with people all over the planet. Take advantage of this achievement.
It is better to simply ignore the classmates who spoil your life. Go to school or institute in order to gain knowledge. When you get a certificate / diploma, then it will be easy to forget all these unpleasant comrades. You should not respond to aggression, call names in response, intrigue or take revenge. You will only waste your nerves. The best defense against hatred is to ignore that feeling in other people.
Working environment
In the office, things are the same. The white crow and in the adult team becomes the object of ridicule and bullying. In this matter, there is not much difference between a teenager or an adult. Serious, independent people, like children, choose the tactic to pounce on a person, rather than try to understand what is going on in his soul.
At work, besides the white crow, hatred can be earned by a person who is a better professional. Envy has not yet been canceled. Here comes the new employee. Immediately begins to work well, shows excellent results, the authorities praise and support him in every possible way. But colleagues look askance and whisper behind their backs. Why?
One of the reasons for a bad work environment can be poor coordination of employees on the part of superiors. The boss should always take care of the mood in the team. This is his direct responsibility. After all, when people work together, it is much easier to achieve excellent results.
In addition, there is often hatred on the part of workers towards superiors. Like, he buys himself a Lexus with our money, and we barely live from paycheck to paycheck.
You have to work at work. When something does not suit you in a particular enterprise, you can try to change the situation. If that doesn't work out, you can always find a new job. Being a good professional in your field, you are not dependent on the organization. Therefore, stop participating in intrigues, conspiracies and other non-working activities. Start working, gain experience and become such a specialist who does work for himself.
domestic hatred
In my humble opinion, the worst option is when this feeling settles in the family. Anger on the part of a mother or son can be disastrous. Relatives and close people stop communicating because of funny situations.
A friend of mine was the victim of her own mother's hatred. A woman kicked my friend out of their common apartment. It was all about the money that could be obtained by selling half of the apartment. Mother did not work, lived in a huge townhouse, received money from a man, but it was not enough for her. She wanted more. And then the idea came to her mind to sell their apartment, in which my friend and her fiancé lived. Today they do not talk, the mother in every possible way slanders the whole family about her daughter.
Here is one of the causes of discord in the family - money. Parents and children can permanently spoil the relationship because of the apartment. I don't know a more petty and stupid reason. But stories like this happen all over the place. Divide. Everyone wants to grab a bigger piece. It is in such situations that our relatives are checked.
One of my acquaintances initially agreed with her husband during a divorce that she provides and helps her daughter in every possible way, and he is responsible for his son. All. Thus, they completely nullified the possibility of swearing over property, inheritance and other monetary conflicts.
You can always find a way out. Everything depends on the people themselves. If they have a desire to maintain warmth and harmony in relationships, then they will always find a solution for any situation.
Any negative emotion eats you up from the inside. So try not to be tempted.
If you don't like the person, just don't interact with them or keep your relationship to a minimum. It is in your hands to cut hatred in its infancy.
And, most importantly, do not succumb to provocations. Do not respond with aggression, do not swear and do not get involved in scandals.
Lesson Development
Subject:"Why do they all hate me so much?" Pechorin and the "water society"
Goals:- to deepen the knowledge of schoolchildren about the image of Pechorin;
To form the ability of students to determine the subject and main problems of the text; analyze the image of the protagonist in the system of all the characters in the work; to see in separate fragments of the text an expression of the author's concept of man and the world;
Cultivate a taste for reading.
During the classes
Organizational moment.
Opening talk:
In what form is the story "Princess Mary" written? (Diary)
How did Pechorin reveal himself in this story?
As a person who knows how to love passionately and devotedly (Pechorin and Vera);
As an honest and decent person;
Like a philosopher discussing his place in life.
Did these qualities bring benefit to Pechorin himself or to the people around him? Why?
Work on the topic of the lesson. Study of the relationship between Pechorin and the "water society".
He is alone. Between P. and "v.o." - duel. Why? After all, Pechorin does not admit to anyone in his ironic attitude to the "VO". (The reason for hostility: they do not forgive him for his superiority, believing that he is proud of his belonging to the Petersburg society).
Watching for a change of mood Main character.
(Despite the ironic attitude to the "v.o.", P. not only does not boast of his belonging to the highest circle,
But he also painfully perceives this distance between himself and others.) Read from the words: “I returned home, worried about various feelings ...” We conclude: irony - sadness - poisonous anger that prompts action so as not to be a laughing stock of insignificant people.
Pechorin and Grushnitsky .
Conversation with commentary on individual fragments
How is Grushnitsky presented to the reader at the first meeting? Define Pechorin's feeling. (ironically)
- Funny or scary Grushnitsky, judging by the first entries?
When did Grushnitsky become dangerous ? (When he begins to take revenge on Pechorin) What is he taking revenge for? (Understands that P. has figured him out, i.e. his falsehood, the desire to impersonate someone other than who he really was)
-Why Pechorin teases him , breaks his halo in the eyes of the princess? ( An innate passion to contradict, to try to be different from the likes of Grushnitsky, the need for prosaic sobriety of words and behavior^ (RECORD JUNE 5)
Describe way of revenge Grushnitsky and Pechorin's attitude to this (ready to forgive G. for a minute of honesty).
Comment behavior of heroes during a duel . What did Pechorin feel on the eve of the duel , "vo"? How did you continue to test the enemy during the duel? What is your take on dueling?
Summarizing. Conclusion: Pechorin's relationship with the "water society" reveals the depth and richness of the hero's nature, as well as
Homework assignment. Group tasks: to characterize Pechorin's relationship with Dr. Werner (1), Vera (2), Princess Mary (3).
Lesson of Russian literature in the 9th grade based on the novel by M.Yu. Lermontov "A Hero of Our Time"
LESSON 4. “Why do they all hate me?” (Pechorin and the "water society")
Subject: "Why do they all hate me?" (Pechorin and "water society")
Target: Show and see how quickly Pechorin's views change when he meets Grushnitsky.
Tasks:
to deepen the children's ideas about the complex spiritual world of Pechorin, the ways of his image;
to form the initial concepts of the genre of the socio-psychological novel.
Concept:
In the lessons, the students followed Pechorin's attempts to get close to people far from his circle: mountaineers, Maxim Maksimych, smugglers. The failure of these attempts, as we have seen, was due to the limitations of those with whom fate brought him together. In "Princess Mary" we saw Pechorin in a circle that is socially closer, but the clash with individuals is shown here as a conflict with society as a whole. Perhaps that is why "Princess Mary" is the largest part of the novel in terms of volume.
Two lessons can be devoted to the study of the story. On the first of them, we will focus on the duel with the "water society", in which Pechorin enters. Why is this duel inevitable? Why does Pechorin evoke hostility in almost everyone? Who has the upper hand in this fight?" are the central questions of this lesson. We ask one of the students to write a plan on the board, identifying the main episodes of the story. Such a task usually causes difficulty, because the plot is dissolved in diary entries, events - in assessments. At the same time, the logic of the plot emphasizes how inexorably the tension grows, how one collision follows another.
In order for students to understand the reason for the sharpness of the duel, we invite them to evaluate each of the events (meetings with Mary at the “well”, in the store, a ball in a restaurant, a duel, etc.) from the point of view of Pechorin and other characters in the story, opinions which are recorded in Pechorin's journal. This method of working on the text helps to see Pechorin's incompatibility with the "water society" and contempt for him. Why does Pechorin not confine himself to contempt, but enter the struggle? The search for the motives of his behavior is facilitated by the fact that we have a diary in which he fearlessly confesses, trying to understand the contradictions of his character and behavior.
“Does Pechorin appear to be the same person in society and alone with himself? Why does Pechorin keep a diary? we ask the class. For Pechorin, with his loneliness, the magazine is the only worthy interlocutor with whom he can be completely sincere. At the same time, Pechorin's diary - and the laboratory of a naturalist who tirelessly watches other people and himself, I do this, it would seem, even at the most inopportune moments.
The journal has another value for Pechorin: it is his spiritual memory. Pechorin's life seems to be exchanged for trifles, and therefore it is especially important for him to see the meaning of events, to keep their track.
Next, we offer the class the following questions: why does Pechorin have a “pleasant feeling” when he sees the city and mountains in the morning? How does the intonation of the narrative change when Pechorin moves from the landscape to the description of the crowd? Why does Pechorin manage to attract the attention of Mary's admirers? When and why is a “hostile gang” formed against Pechorin? What qualities and actions of Pechorin destroy all the plans of his enemies?
Selfishly not forgiving Pechorin for his superiority, the “water society” believes that Pechorin is proud of his belonging to the St. Petersburg world and living rooms. Pechorin, although he cannot but be ironic in relation to the “water society”, is not only not proud of his superiority, but, unlike Onegin, painfully perceives this distance between himself and others, leading to hostility: “I returned home, worried by two various feelings. The first was sadness: why do they all hate me? I thought. For what? Have I offended anyone? No. Am I really one of those people whose mere sight already breeds ill will? And I felt that poisonous anger gradually filled my soul. The transition from irony to sadness, from not to poisonous anger, prompting to act so as not to be a toy in the hands of insignificant people, is characteristic of Pechorin's attitude to the "water society" in general and to Grushnitsky in particular. And then we dwell on the relationship between Pechorin and Grushnitsky. Pechorin enters into the diary the satellites of this period of his life with characteristics, the accuracy of which is to be verified in the further course of events.
To reveal students' ideas about Grushnitsky, we show Vrubel's illustration for A Hero of Our Time, which depicts Princess Mary giving a glass to Grushnitsky. Is this how the students imagined the hero at that moment? Why does the artist make him look pathetic rather than selfishly proud in this scene? Having identified the reader's impressions with the help of illustrations, we proceed to the analysis of the text. How does Grushnitsky's characterization correlate with what was subsequently revealed in him? The first idea about Grushnitsky is permeated with irony. However, in this first characterization, Grushnitsky is more ridiculous than terrible, more pitiful than dangerous. Pechorin, for all the irony, is quite kind.
Why does Pechorin tease Grushnitsky, destroy his halo in the eyes of the princess, enter into a "competition"? “Innate passion contradicts” in Pechorin is not only a sign of his reflection, a struggle with his soul, with his fate, but a consequence of constant antagonism in relations with society. Everything around is so insignificant that Pechorin constantly wants to be different from others, to act contrary to, to do the opposite.
The conversation in the class develops with such questions: why did Pechorin “inwardly laugh” when talking with Grushnitsky in love? Who is more sincere in this conversation (Record of May 16). Why does Pechorin not hide his intentions, promising Grushnitsky to "drag after the princess"? Does Grushnitsky love Mary? Why does Pechorin succeed in exposing Grushnitsky with one blow, telling Mary that he is a cadet? What is the manifestation of Grushnitsky's "warlike spirit"? Why in him "the struggle of conscience with pride was short-lived"? Why does Grushnitsky always turn out to be petty and ridiculous next to Pechorin? Observing how Grushnitsky's true feelings and behavior diverge (attitude towards Mary, Pechorin, epaulettes ...), the students are convinced that he is always trying to imitate someone. It sometimes shows the features of a parody of Lensky. The situation of the ball in the recording of June 5 is reminiscent of Tatyana's name day. (The mention of Pushkin's name in the previous episode, as it were, directs the flow of associations in the direction of his novel). Pechorin, like Olga Onegin, invites Mary to dance the mazurka. Grushnitsky's annoyance is reminiscent of Lensky's jealousy:
“- I did not expect this from you,” he said, coming up to me and taking my hand.
What?
Are you dancing the mazurka with her? he asked in a solemn voice. She confessed to me...
Well, so what? And is it a secret?
Of course, I should have expected this from a girl, from a coquette ... I’ll take my revenge!”
However, almost repeating the words of Lensky, Grushnitsky is far from his pathetic romanticism. Taking revenge on Pechorin and Mary, he commits meanness. The omnipotence of Pechorin and the helplessness of Grushnitsky cancel the rivalry. For the time being, Grushnitsky seems so ridiculous to Pechorin that he does not arouse anger in him. However, the meanness of Grushnitsky will seriously anger Pechorin: "... various bad rumors have already been spread about me and the princess in the city." The betrayal of Grushnitsky Pechorin hurts, but he is ready to forgive his "friend" for his anger, his petty pride for a minute of honesty.
Pechorin's readiness for humanity is destroyed by the baseness of Grushnitsky, who agrees to deception in a duel. However, Pechorin, like Shakespeare's Hamlet, must make sure more than once that meanness is ineradicable in a person before committing retribution. And then we turn to the analysis of the duel episode. Why does Pechorin go to a duel? What does it say about his readiness to die? What sides of Pechorin's soul does the night before the duel reveal? Why and how does Pechorin continue to test after the duel? The answers to these questions help students understand that Pechorin’s cruelty is not caused by an insult not only for himself, for the fact that a person even before death grimace and lie, for the fact that on the border of life and death in Grushnitsky pride is stronger than honesty.
At the end of the lesson, we consider Vrubel’s illustrations for the episode and think about why the artist chose the moment when Grushnitsky was no longer on the set, what feelings are visible in Pechorin’s face and posture, how the figures of Werner and the captain differ from each other, located with their backs to the viewer, why the place duels are drawn as bare rocks.
At home, we suggest reading the articles of the textbook “Pechorin and the Water Society”, “Pechorin and Grushnitsky”; answer the questions: what is the difference between the duel scenes in "Eugene Onegin" and "A Hero of Our Time"? Why does Pushkin blame his hero for the murder, while Lermontov forgives Pechorin?
Lesson structure:
The main idea of the lesson:
... the conflict between the hero and society as a social whole, as a historical environment, to the understanding of which the hero's thought turns to understand his destinies.
Educational problem situations:
Why is Pechorin's duel with the "water society" inevitable?
Could the duel between yesterday's friends have been avoided?
Are there winners and losers in the conflict between the hero and society?
Exposure.
Until now, we have been following Pechorin's attempts to get close to people far from his circle: mountaineers, Maxim Maksimych, smugglers. The failure of these attempts, as we have seen, was due not to the narrowness of the hero, but to the limitations of those with whom fate brought him together.
Conversation.
Determine the main conflict of the story. Why do you think Pechorin's journal begins with a description of the landscape? How does the intonation change when the author proceeds from the description of nature to the description of the “water society”? Why is a "hostile gang" formed against Pechorin?
I learning situation.
Why is the duel with the “water society” inevitable?
Conversation.
Why does Pechorin evoke hostility in almost everyone? Who wins this fight?
Characteristics of events.
What is the reason for the sharpness of the duel, let's evaluate each of these events that we saw in this story: Mary's meeting at the "well", in the store, in the restaurant, the duel, which are recorded in Pechorin's journal. Why does Pechorin not confine himself to contempt, but enter the struggle? Will Pechorin be the same person in society and alone with himself?
Why do they all hate me? (The story "Princess Mary")
Until now, we have followed Pechorin's attempts to get closer to people far from his circle. The failure of these attempts, as we have seen, is due not to the narrowness of the hero, but to the limitations of those with whom fate brought him together. In "Princess Mary" we see Pechorin in a circle that is socially closer to him. However, the clash of the hero with individuals is replaced here by a conflict with society as a whole. Perhaps that is why "Princess Mary" is the largest part of the novel in terms of volume.
Let us dwell on the duel with the “water society”, which Pechorin enters. Let's figure it out: why is this duel inevitable? who wins this fight? Does Pechorin appear to be the same person in society and alone with himself? why does he keep a diary?
For Pechorin, in his loneliness, the diary, the “magazine”, is the only “worthy interlocutor” with whom he can be completely sincere. And one more value of the magazine: it is the spiritual memory of Pechorin. His life seems to be exchanged for trifles, and therefore it is especially important for him to see the meaning of the events taking place, to keep track of them, so as not to be in the position of a person whose state is conveyed in the poem “Both boring and sad ...”:
Do you look into yourself?
There is no trace of the past.
And joy, and torment, and everything is so insignificant.
Pechorin, as if knowing this despair of emptiness, wants to preserve everything that animated him: “Rereading this page, I notice that I have digressed far from my subject ... But what is the need? .. After all, I am writing this journal for myself, and, consequently, everything that I throw into it will in time be a precious memory for me. As we remember, Pechorin will be deprived of this consolation in the end: he will indifferently leave his notes in the hands of the annoyed Maxim Maksimych.
Selfishly not forgiving Pechorin for his superiority, Grushnitsky, the dragoon captain and other members of the “water society” believe that Pechorin is proud of his belonging to the St. Petersburg world, to the living rooms where they are not allowed. Pechorin, although he cannot help but be ironic in relation to the “water society”, is not only not proud of his superiority, but painfully perceives this distance between himself and others, leading to hostility: “I returned home, worried by two different feelings. The first was sadness. Why do they all hate me? - I thought. - For what? Have I offended anyone? No. Am I really one of those people whose mere sight already gives rise to ill will?" And I felt that poisonous anger gradually filled my soul. turn out to be a laughingstock of insignificant people, is characteristic of Pechorin's attitude to the "water society" in general, and to Grushnitsky in particular.
Grushnitsky's first introduction to the reader is riddled with irony. We still remember the words of the “wandering officer” in a conversation with Maxim Maksimych: “... now those who really miss the most are trying to hide this misfortune as a vice.” Grushnitsky is "one of those people who ... importantly drape themselves in extraordinary feelings, lofty passions and exceptional suffering." Therefore, we immediately understand the irony of Pechorin in relation to him. The rejection of provincial romanticism is combined with a note of regret that a person can be so selfish and petty.
However, in this first characterization, Grushnitsky is more ridiculous than scary, more pathetic than dangerous: "... he will not kill anyone with a single word, he does not know people and their weak strings, because he has been busy with himself all his life." Pechorin, for all the irony, is rather kind, he does not imply in Grushnitsky the ability to kill (and not even with a word, but with a bullet), he does not imply baseness, aggressive manifestations of his pride. Only a few details reveal the danger of Grushnitsky: “I understood him, and for this he does not love me, although we outwardly are on the most friendly terms ... I don’t like him either, and one of us will be unhappy.” The last thought is a consequence of Pechorin's magnificent intuition, which encourages him to be at the right moment where necessary, to guess people and the course of events.
Why does Pechorin tease Grushnitsky, break his halo in the eyes of the princess, enter into a "competition"? “The innate passion to contradict” in Pechorin is not only a sign of reflection, a constant struggle in his soul, but also a consequence of a constant confrontation with society. The people around are so insignificant that Pechorin constantly wants to be unlike on them, to act contrary to them, to do the opposite. Moreover, Pechorin himself ironically over this stubbornness: “The presence of an enthusiast pours me with Epiphany cold, and, I think, frequent intercourse with a sluggish phlegmatic would make me a passionate dreamer.” Grushnitsky is unbearable for his falseness, posturing, claims to romanticism - and Pechorin in his presence feels an irresistible need for prosaic sobriety of words and behavior.
Grushnitsky always tries to imitate someone. It sometimes shows the features of a parody of Lensky. The situation of the ball in the recording of June 5 recalls Tatyana's name day: Pechorin, like Olga Onegin, invites Mary to dance the mazurka; Grushnitsky's annoyance is reminiscent of Lensky's harshness. However, almost repeating the words of Lensky, Grushnitsky is far from his high romanticism. Taking revenge on Pechorin and Mary, he does not perform feats, but meanness. The omnipotence of Pechorin and the helplessness of Grushnitsky cancel the "rivalry". For the time being, Grushnitsky seems so ridiculous to Pechorin that he does not arouse anger in him.
Grushnitsky’s consent to participate in the conspiracy proposed by the dragoon captain awakens “cold anger” in Pechorin, but he is still ready to forgive his “friend” for his revenge, “various bad rumors” spread by him in the city - for a minute of honesty: “I was waiting with trepidation for Grushnitsky’s answer cold anger took possession of me at the thought that if it were not for chance, I might become the laughingstock of these fools. If Grushnitsky had not agreed, I would have thrown myself on his neck. But after some silence, he got up from his seat, extended his hand to the captain and said very importantly: “Well, I agree.” The laws of honor were not written for these people, just as they were not for the “peaceful circle of honest smugglers.”
Pechorin's readiness for grateful humanity is destroyed by the meanness of Grushnitsky, who agrees to deception in a duel. However, Pechorin, like Shakespeare's Hamlet, must make sure more than once that meanness is ineradicable in this person before deciding on retribution. Pechorin's cruelty is caused by an insult not only for himself - for the fact that a person can grimace and lie before death, for the fact that on the border of life and death in Grushnitsky, petty pride turns out to be stronger than honesty and nobility.
What sides of Pechorin's soul does the night before the duel reveal? What does it say about his readiness to die? Why and how does Pechorin continue to test Grushnitsky's nature in a duel? What feelings does Pechorin have after the duel?
