Does a person need to be cruel? Everyone has their own opinion on this matter. It is clear that none of us wants to see cruel people around us, whom we are not unreasonably afraid of, or in any case we are afraid of. We are much more comfortable to be around harmless, compliant, kind and sympathetic people who would not cause you any fear. This desire is understandable, it meets our security needs. But let's think about how safe it is in this world to be too kind, sympathetic, soft, compliant and absolutely harmless person? Or at least appear to be? Perhaps not the best option for us. Anyway, we don't always have to be like that. Because many will offend such a person, use and assert themselves at his expense. But tough and even more cruel people, as a rule, are afraid, and therefore they respect, and therefore reckon with them. The world is often cruel and merciless to those who do not understand its laws. And in order not to become its victim, one must also be able to be cruel. Therefore, in this article we will talk with you about how to develop rigidity in yourself, just as much as is necessary in order to stand up for yourself and defend your interests in this life.

At one time I worked as a criminal psychologist and dealt with very cruel people, more precisely, with the acts that they committed. This allowed me to look at the world from a dark, let's say, side. And I realized that the world can be very cruel, especially to weak people. And since the world can be cruel, then the person in it must also be cruel - when necessary. Cruelty is considered a manifestation of weakness and cowardice, but let's think a little better - is it really so? Does a cruel person who knows how to subjugate the will of other people seem weak? But is he? As a rule, no. Although, out of weakness and fear, a person can indeed commit cruel acts to intimidate other people, thus suppressing his fear at the expense of their fear, but even in this case, thanks to his aggressive actions, a person achieves a result, and does not do nothing and does not run away from danger. Therefore, a person needs cruelty, especially in situations where a person's life depends on its presence or absence. He needs to be cruel in order to resist cruelty, for I have never seen a case in my life when kindness was successfully opposed to cruelty and violence. I do not take the story of Mahatma Gandhi as an example, because I do not consider his philosophy of non-violence to be non-violent. But it's not about that now. If you found this article, it means that you have already met with life - with that side of it that does not stroke the head, but stings very strongly and painfully. Therefore, why do you become cruel - you yourself know well. I just want to say that we develop cruelty in ourselves not in order to use it to commit violence against other people, but in order to protect ourselves from this violence.

So, in order to become a cruel person, dear friends, you first need to reconsider your entire worldview. Kindness and cruelty are two sides of the same coin. You must understand and accept this, and stop considering cruelty as something that should not be in our lives. Therefore, in order to be cruel, one must become practical. What does it mean? This means that moral standards should be perceived by you only from the point of view of your interests. Simply put, you need to be kind when - when it is beneficial to you. And when it is not profitable for you, forget about kindness, decency, honor, honesty, and so on. Cruelty, as I was convinced by studying its origins, is first of all a cold-blooded practicality, in which a person can step over anyone, for the sake of himself and his interests. Therefore, the development of cruelty requires a person to develop composure and indifference to other people, in which a person is able to control his emotions. There is no need to be a rabid sadist, a wild psychopath who terrifies people. Although this is also a manifestation of cruelty. But with an animal character, you will not go far, you will either be put in a cage, more balanced, but no less strong people, or other wild psychopaths will beat you. It is better to be a cold-blooded and calculating cynic, silently and effectively removing everyone who blocks it from its path. Such a person is cruel mainly due to his prudence and the absence of any moral brakes. He is neither bad nor good, he lives the way it is profitable for him to live. To become such a person, it is necessary, as I said, to completely reconsider your worldview, and make for yourself the norm of what you now treat with fear and hatred. It is necessary to accept cruel and immoral acts into your inner world, understanding their meaning. You should never condemn other people and their actions for anything - you just need to try to understand what you are afraid of and what you hate. Forget that there is something good or bad in this world - try to see the meaning in everything, even in the wildest and immoral acts of people. And of course, look for your own benefit in everything. The one who invented this world and you and me knew what he was doing. He created us as we should be, at least in this world.

But you and I still have to take into account the fact that the cruelty of people is an integral part of their lives, so we need not to fence ourselves off from it, but to learn to live with it and, as necessary, show it. And so the last way to become cruel, which I want to tell you about in this article, dear friends, is very simple - take an example from those who act cruelly, but not wildly, but rather cynically and effectively, achieving their goals with the help of cruelty. Study the behavior of these people, try to understand its origins, its meaning, features, goals. And then, think about what actions you can use to adopt this behavior and reproduce it in those situations when you need it. After all, you can, say, not help people when you don’t need it, it’s not profitable and disgusting, isn’t it? You can also learn how to mercilessly destroy your enemies in a variety of ways, using all the means available to you. You just need to abandon the pattern behavior that you are now unconsciously adhering to, and begin to form a new, more correct pattern, by imitating those who behave more practically.

Cruelty requires from a person not only a certain understanding of life, but also determination. You need to start choosing the behavior you want. Once upon a time, you learned from someone - not to be a cruel person, right? Someone, by his own example, showed you how to and how not to act in this life, did someone make you the way you are now, inspiring you with certain attitudes? Well, now learn from other people how to be cruel - take an example from those who, in your opinion, understand life better than you. Study the behavior and thinking of these people - learn to look at the world through their eyes. And then you too will become a cruel person - justifiably cruel.

Also keep in mind that a cruel person can defeat other people in a variety of ways. For him, the end always justifies any means. Among the various ways to achieve goals, a special place is occupied by the ability to manipulate people, thanks to which many insidious rulers came to power and established their harsh and even cruel laws and rules for everyone. Manipulation is the most powerful weapon in the hands of any person. These are weapons of both local and mass destruction. If you are a physically and mentally weak person, if you need strong weapons to protect yourself and defend your interests, then you need to learn how to manipulate people - this skill will give you great strength. Good manipulators are able to outmaneuver, outwit, and ultimately defeat anyone. Master the skills of manipulating people and they will help you cope with any enemies, rivals, competitors.

Friends, do not forget that we develop cruelty in ourselves not in order to purposefully harm other people, but in order to prevent them from harming us. And also so that they do not interfere with us to achieve our goals and do not get in our way. When nothing else helps in such cases, you can resort to competent cruelty.

Hello dear readers! How often do you have to worry about wasted nerves? Sometimes we all find ourselves in critical situations, come up with the most terrible scenarios for the development of events, but in fact it turns out that the game was not worth the candle and everything is resolved by itself.

Today we will talk about how to become cold-blooded and indifferent, because now you most likely think that this is the only way out of the situation. You can't live like this anymore.

Most of your reactions are normal

The title of this chapter is the most important golden rule you need to understand first. Many people lack the awareness that they are, in fact, completely normal, and their reaction is quite natural.

In an attempt to become a cold-blooded person, you may lose your strengths. Why do you want to become calmer, cool towards people? You, but the spent nerves say that a certain person is dear to you and you are worried about your future.

For example, you often express your dissatisfaction with your husband, but doesn’t this mean that you are showing yourself at this moment as a caring woman? Do they not show your responsible attitude and professional approach to business?

Being cold-blooded to everything, you can lose everyone. Will it become completely different, devoid of benefits, advantages, brightness? Think about it, sometimes reconciling and accepting yourself as you are is the best solution available.

Next time, think about whether they are normal and what your positive qualities indicate. If you want to become a little calmer, I can offer some useful tips from psychology.

Don't share

The next time you encounter a difficulty that makes you feel strong emotions, try to exhale first and approach it rationally. Do not rush to retell it to your loved one or loved ones. Don't call friends. The interlocutor will only inflame you, you will be more nervous and worried.

You need to instill in yourself a rule - to solve the problem where it arose, and not to talk about it. Give yourself some time to cool down and then see what you can do to resolve the situation. Of course, you can ask for help or advice from loved ones, but do not shift the decision to them.

Forbid yourself to discuss the incident, what will you do in this case?

rejoice

No matter how many techniques for how to be cold-blooded you have learned, yours will be the decisive indicator. Most often, you immediately forget about all the techniques as soon as a real problem arises. Rejoice in the opportunity to change everything. Right now is your chance to practice. One can spend a few years studying Zen, but when faced with the misfortune of losing one's temper.

As soon as you have the opportunity, be cool and indifferent, at least outwardly, and then be sure to praise yourself and give a gift for doing the right thing. So, bit by bit, you can become a new person.

Literature

In one article it is impossible to describe all the techniques that will help. Fortunately, there are many excellent books on this subject that have become bestsellers. Some of them I would like to recommend to you.

In the book Osho Meditations for Busy People. You will find a whole bunch of techniques that will help you get rid of stress at the most critical moment. You will understand where experiences come from, you will be able to establish mind control over the body, you will learn how to meditate while eating, having sex and to penetrate silence when there are screams around and the situation is out of control. You will learn to speak to the voice of your heart and mind when it seems impossible to others.

If you prefer a psychological approach to problems, then I recommend reading Resilience by Sharon Melnick. In it, much attention is paid to the rules and strategies, harmony and, most importantly, calmness: how; the 50% rule or what to do with what you have no control over; what is reasonable detachment and how to address it; concentrate in 3 minutes, as well as where the buttons for “on” and “off” your emotions are located.

That's basically all, do not forget to subscribe to the newsletter, so as not to get confused in the world of psychology and always receive relevant and useful tips that work every day. See you again and good luck.

People with a cold heart are those who cannot be reached emotionally. They are not affectionate and do not exude warmth. In this article, we will give you some tips on how to recognize a person with a cold heart.

" ... people with a cold heart, I call people closed, depressed and far from deep feelings and experiences. From those who are abstracted even from themselves, one should not expect reciprocity - they will not be able to give you what they are not able to survive on their own" , says psychologist and author Leon F. Seltzer.

cold blooded man

Attachment to a cold-blooded person can bring pain and suffering to someone who is not ready for emotional distance. People with a cold heart have special habits that help determine whether you really have someone to whom you should not become attached.

They don't ask anything about you

Most often, indifferent people do not show interest in the interlocutor, and do not hide it. Regardless of whether you are in a platonic relationship with such a person, or romantic - they will not be interested in how your day went and how you feel.

If such a person is still trying to get some information from you, this means that he needs it purely for personal purposes.

They are far away

These people may be far away from you not only physically but also emotionally. Often, when talking with such a person, one gets the impression that in his thoughts he is very far away, although in fact he is standing in front of you.

They are very reserved in expressing their emotions. Cold-blooded people rarely reveal secrets and allow themselves to show their vulnerabilities. They just prefer to keep their distance.

They are great at manipulating people.

Cold-hearted people love to manipulate. The thing is that they are very weak, and often do not feel any pity or compassion towards others.

They can learn useful information about their "victims" and then use it against them. If you notice that there is a cold-blooded person in your environment, you should know that he definitely has a couple of skeletons in his closet and a list of those who were not lucky enough to catch his eye.

They arewatchingon theof peoplecondescendingly

"Cold-blooded people have a constant need to talk about themselves as flatteringly as possible and often remind others of their excellent qualities that deserve envy," says Professor Preston Nee.

One should constantly monitor how they treat people they consider " below themselves. For example, service workers or the homeless. People with a cold heart have too little empathy to treat them as people worthy of respect.

Something is always missing

It is difficult to find a common language with people with a cold heart. When they are around or interacting with you, there can be an awkward feeling that something is missing in your relationship.

Whether your relationship is platonic, romantic, or even familial, you will have many difficulties with such people because they have no attachments. The most commonly missing link is the emotional connection.

They are self-centered

Me, me, me People with a cold heart are almost always selfish and focused only on what concerns them in one way or another.

“Subconsciously, such people consider others only as an addition to themselves and as helpers to meet their needs. Their own needs are always above everything else…,” says Dr. Seltser.

They are incredibly egocentric. If something turned out better for you than for them, they will still claim that it’s actually not so.

They don't have close friends

"For emotionally unavailable people, relationships and socializing are just a way to keep themselves busy until something more interesting comes into their lives," says author and relationship expert Sarah R. Kline.

They often speak very unflatteringly about their former partners. In their past, you can find a number of unsuccessful relationships. It seems that they are simply not able to get along with one person for a long time.

Cold-blooded people are also quite distant emotionally even from their family. They find it hard to find a common language with people, but at the same time they easily part and let go without regret.

They are great liars.

When you see a potentially "cold" person in front of you, be careful not to fall for his lies. What he says may be just part of the manipulation he uses to gain control over people.

They may lie about very minor things, such as how their day went or what school they went to. But this does not mean that they are not capable of big lies.

Those with a cold heart can lie about past relationships or about their own " friends."

"Once you recognize the lies in the stories told, you'll be surprised that you ever believed these absurd, fake facts," says divorce recovery expert Cindy Holbrook.

Conclusion

Rapprochement with the owners of a cold heart can turn into big trouble for you. However, by knowing their signs, you will always be one step ahead. Do not be afraid to weed out indifferent and cold people from your life, because you certainly deserve a much warmer and more caring attitude.

Each of us from time to time has to deal with circumstances that, to put it mildly, drive us crazy. That is why it is so important to be able to control your emotions, pull yourself together, become cold-blooded. I don’t know, alas or fortunately, but a person is an emotional being, capable of experiencing both positive and negative feelings. And these feelings can also affect us in different ways. If in one case emotions will only benefit, become an incentive for some kind of action and give strength, sports anger, then in another, they can only interfere.

You need to be wiser than your own fear and become cold-blooded

The main obstacle to emotional stability can be considered fear. The whole problem is that this feeling is born in each of us from birth, and maybe even earlier. Over time, our fear grows and develops with us. It can be deformed, take on other forms and types, fade for a certain period of time, but at the same time remain in our minds.

We come to the conclusion that it is fear, and not our own will and attitudes that govern our actions, and therefore our lives. This position can be explained as follows: because of the fear of being misunderstood, not accepted, we act one way or another; because of the fear of not getting settled in life at a sufficient level, we go against many of our desires. The same fear guides us in cases where, instead of a sane and reasonable person, the instinct of self-preservation speaks in us, which can lead to extremely unfavorable consequences.

Naturally, the presence of such a constant and ingrained fear will not allow you to take the whole situation into your own hands. Internal stress caused by fear causes a lot of adverse processes in our body. For the same reason, accumulations of negative energy form in many of us, which, in turn, acts as an internal destroyer. Roughly speaking, we become victims of our own fear.

Getting rid of this phenomenon is quite simple, but quite possible. You just need to try to turn your fear into a different emotion, a different perception. Try to find the reason for your actions, consider the situation according to the principle: “I do this not because I am afraid of something, but in order to achieve something.”

The formation of internal balance

By maintaining an attitude of detachment from inner fear, you can gain inner stability. Only in this way will you come to an understanding of the prerequisites for certain of your actions. For example, if you stop being afraid to forget about an important meeting, and fully realize that this meeting is necessary for your further development, you will never forget about it.

Each question should be approached calmly. You will be much more successful if you learn to perceive some obstacles not as problems, but as tasks that require a calm and focused solution. Of course, it will not be so easy to take such a position instantly, but it is important to adhere to such a principle always and in everything, only in this way you become cold-blooded and prudent, and this is exactly what we are striving for.

The role of endurance in the overall emotional picture of a person

The main mistake in gaining inner composure and stability is the acquisition by a person of such qualities as aggression and cruelty. This cannot be allowed. In no way does the ability to prudence and harmonize internal contradictions interfere with the presence of a motley emotional palette of a person, the ability to show sympathy and provide support. Nothing prevents you from showing sentimentality or sincere enthusiasm, but at the same time always keep the situation under control and calmly, prudently approach any issue.

In practice, you will see that being cool and maintaining some indifference to emerging problems is simply necessary if you want them to be resolved quickly and successfully. Such a human ability not only helps to speed up the processes of thinking and analyzing what happened, but also saves nerves, internal energy, allows you to form emotional stability and achieve psychological comfort, which, in turn, has a significant impact on the physiological characteristics of a person.

If your consciousness is deprived of obstacles for successful work and solution of individual issues, then it is cleared, as it were, gets rid of unnecessary elements of solving the problem. Thus, you have the opportunity to devote more of your energy to direct activity, awareness and analysis of the issue. It's simple: in order to see the main thing, you need to get rid of everything superfluous, that which blocks, prevents the desired solution, the way out of the prevailing circumstances, the acquisition of comfort.

In contact with

To be able to remain calm in any situation is very important for every person. Such negative emotions as fear, anger, and panic can wear down any person, and in return do not give anything positive.

Those who cannot control their emotions can earn an unpleasant chronic disease. Conversely, people who are able to keep their cool are more likely to succeed, do everything on time and do not spoil relationships with other people. How to develop composure?

No need to make an elephant out of a fly. Try to soberly assess what is happening in any situation. Follow your thoughts. Give up turns that flash in your head like: "as always" and "when it's finally." Instead, say to yourself: “I am stronger than these circumstances” or “this is not so scary” - you get rid of the excitement and everything seems much easier.

When a problem arises, first try to think it over on your own, and only then share it with others. When you convey information to another person with horror on your face, you see the same reaction on his face. As a rule, they begin to sympathize with you, exaggerating their emotions, and scare you even more.

Do not run from corner to corner and do not shout. Control your gestures. Speak slowly and move smoothly. We must try to look calm, so you yourself will not notice how you gradually calm down.

Being in a difficult situation, in order to calm down, imagine the problem as a confusing and incomprehensible knot. When you are nervous, the knot tightens. Conversely, if you are calm, then it relaxes and it is easier for you to unravel it.

Development of composure

Problem solving can be hindered by external stimuli. If you get rid of them, then you can safely cope with the task. Some people cannot think in complete silence, while others are disturbed by noise.

Almost always, for a while, you can get away from circumstances that annoy and think away from them and make the right decision. For example, household noise interferes with you, you can go for a walk in the park and think about your problem in a calm atmosphere.

In order to be more confident in your abilities, you need to remember those moments when everything worked out for you and you managed to cope with stress or a difficult situation, because you did not lose control at that moment and kept your composure.

The situations that you managed to deal with are your achievements. They must be remembered - they give confidence in their abilities and help to keep calm.

It's hard not to get nervous when you're tired. When a person does not get enough sleep or feels hungry, he can be irritable. If you're tired, it's hard not to be nervous. Consciousness will be clear if your body was comfortable. This is facilitated by moderate physical activity.

How to develop composure? Calm breathing in a difficult situation helps to pull yourself together. In a person who is in captivity of emotions, breathing is disturbed and becomes intermittent. Breathe evenly and deeply, while thoughts become clearer, and emotions can be controlled.

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