Why are some people chronically unlucky, while others shamelessly enjoy life and don’t blow their heads? The answer is simple: the former, no matter how they hide it, are pessimists, and the latter are indifferent. Pessimists watch football matches on TV, fight in a senseless struggle for their rights and constantly create problems out of thin air, and not only for themselves. Pofigists play this football, know all their rights and make history. The line between healthy indifference and frank egoism is very thin, and happy is the one who managed to feel this golden mean.

How to spot a pessimist in a crowd? Characteristics of a pessimist

How to distinguish a do not care in the crowd? Characteristics of a bully

It is easy to conclude that healthy indifference is quite appropriate and even useful.

How to learneasierrelate to life?

Is it possible to change your pessimistic attitude? First of all, you need to clearly distinguish between banal primitive indifference and healthy. Banal indifference is a free drift with the flow, selfishness and ineradicable laziness. Healthy indifference is a talent to change the direction of the flow at the right time, the breadth of the soul and ease of uplift.

The first steps to healthy indifference:

• Rest (leisure) – this is the time that no one will return. Life itself depends on the fulfillment of life: positive results in positive, negative - negative in progression. Filling life with positive emotions, and rest with our favorite activities, we give our minds the right creative attitude.
• Whining and complaining about life - taboo . Even within the family circle.
• “Miserable little people”, “vile saleswoman”, “gait-cop”… We change the installation . You can see the good in every person. You just need to want.
• “I will never earn money for an apartment (car, microwave, ficus ...).” A rolling stone gathers no moss . To get something, you need to make an effort. And with a smile on his lips and with the installation "I can do everything." First - a goal, then a step-by-step plan, then - a confident pursuit of the goal. Even if it takes several years to get there. Do you want to become a great photographer? So, stop drooling at the work of professionals, and take the camera in hand - and go to the courses. Dreaming of the laurels of a writer? Find your genre and learn to burn people's hearts with a verb.
• “Nothing depends on me anyway”, “I still can’t” ... The eyes are afraid, but the hands are doing! Expecting failure, a person attracts it. "Order" for yourself only positive. Installation - "I can", "I can", "I can handle it." And remember the truth - "if you look into the abyss for a long time, the abyss begins to peer into you."
• Money. There are never many of them. It's just that one lacks bread, while the other doesn't have enough for a diamond caviar or a fifth yacht. Here you have to decide. If just life without debt is quite satisfactory, then it's time to stop complaining about the lack of money and start enjoying fishing, picnics and sincere meetings with friends over a glass of tea. If ambitions are torn from the inside, then you should forget about all of the above and change your lifestyle, focusing on the road leading to enrichment.

How to attract money. Pofigist technique

First of all, you should decide - how much, in fact, do you need? Decided? Write the amount in a notebook and read on. The presence of at least one of the listed items is your obstacle on the path to wealth:

None of the items fit? Then boldly decide on your occupation for the next few years, compare the amount written in the notebook with the chosen activity and go ahead. Does not work? Read the paragraphs again.

We attract health - the philosophy of a philistine

You can't buy health - No wonder they say so. And all great earnings are dust compared to health and its role in life. First we work to spend money on pleasure. Having earned, we understand that these pleasures are already contraindicated for health reasons. Only by really working on yourself, you can achieve results.

Healthy bullshit. Postulates

Indifference is not a disregard for everyone and everything. Healthy indifference is the line between indifference to negativity and absolute indifference to everything with symptoms of selfishness.

Ten recipes for healthy indifference:

1. Chase negative thoughts . Straightaway! As soon as such a thought tries to sneak into his head. Catch her on the threshold and drive away. Ways for this wagon and trolley. The human subconscious is a soldier who unconditionally obeys peremptory orders. For example, shout to her mentally - Out! It works.
2. Don't waste nerve cells . They don't recover. Everything that should happen will happen anyway. Whether you want it or not. And if it has already happened, then there is no point in being nervous at all, you need to either act or give up.
3. Every day necessarily and rigorously give yourself and your favorite pastime at least an hour (and preferably two) free time. Never mind the unwashed dishes, the piles of toys in the minefield-like children's room, and the resentment of family, friends, and everyone else.
4. Learn to love yourself. Take the time to soak in a fragrant bath and get yourself in order to the level of "almost from the cover." Brew yourself a cup of coffee and sip it with your favorite cake while reading an interesting book or gossip on the Internet.
5. Learn to abstract completely away from everything. At least for five minutes an hour, forget about the problems of the "global scale" and just enjoy life.
6. Learn to meet your morning with a smile , because it is known that as you meet the morning, so the whole day will pass. And you don’t need so much - your favorite music, a delicious breakfast, a smile to your reflection and a psychological attitude.
7. Learn to control your subconscious. It is you who should give him the settings, and not vice versa. Don't give too much importance to anything. Moreover, as Solomon said, everything passes.
8. Forget about the illusions of a perfect life . It will always have problems. Bad weather, lies and betrayals, spoiled food from the store, etc. Learn to ignore these problems.
9. Don't take the world as a place to survive . Life is too short to waste it on depression and struggle. Enjoy it and treat it like a game.
10. Accept it as a fact that you are busy with your own business, or go the wrong way, when something is given to you at the cost of incredible sacrifices and efforts. Find yourself . Don't be afraid to experiment.

If you liked our article and have thoughts about it, please share with us! It is very important for us to know your opinion!

More and more people, especially teenagers, are wondering how to become insensitive. Emotions are good. But not always. Life is unpredictable, it has ups and downs. And just the last of some especially emotional, kind, sympathetic and vulnerable people can seriously injure. If this happens regularly, you have to somehow abstract from the situation. And the question of how to become cold and insensitive comes to the mind of many. Just for the sake of not feeling pain anymore, not feeling the sorrows of failure. This is not the best solution, but in some situations the only way to escape. There are several tips that will definitely help you bring this idea to life.

Not everything is given

Just take your time. To begin with, think carefully about whether you want to rid yourself of emotions. Often it is more difficult to restore them than to eliminate them. By the way, not everyone can be insensitive.

Remember: few people have a true lack of emotions. Usually cruelty and composure are in the blood of a person. If there is a predisposition to these traits, then it will be easy and simple to solve our today's question. Otherwise, you will literally step on the throat of yourself and your inner structure.

Responsive kind people often think about how to become. And unforgiving. They will have to work very seriously on themselves. As practice shows, such are not able to really bring the idea to life. Except for a while. And then the feeling of guilt will sit inside. And true composure does not allow this.

Return to suffering

The first rule that can only help is to return to your suffering. Each person has some memories that bring pain or great resentment. It is to them that you will have to turn in the subconscious every time you are covered with positive emotions.

Usually at first it becomes very painful to experience negative moments. But at one point, this feeling disappears. And you don't care. Once you achieve this, it will be easier to solve the problem.

Try to remember all the negative events at once, en masse. Only in this way can you fully answer how to become insensitive. Yes, it may seem impossible, but with continued practice, you will notice a clear change in your behavior.

Lack of attention

The second rule is for nothing. Neither for people, nor for any events. Forget holidays, relatives, friends. Sometimes it is enough not to congratulate someone on their birthday once, so that they begin to consider you cold-blooded.

Yes, it will be difficult in the beginning. Especially when yours comes or some bright, pleasing, emotional event occurs. But you should not just ignore it, but meet it with complete indifference. Until you learn this, you won’t be able to become. After all, such people usually rarely show their emotions. Most often, their faces show complete indifference to everything.

Let's say "no" to help

A very interesting fact is that refusing to help someone instantly makes you a cruel bad person. Even if you really are simply unable to help or refuse for some specific, justified reasons. So, in order to figure out how to become an insensitive creature, you just need to not help people. That is, in general. Absolutely. Even on trifles. Remember: helping is very disadvantageous. Especially close people. They often demand something from you that will harm you. In addition, helping in practice awakens positive emotions. And this is of no use to you. After all, the main task that faces you is to completely get rid of emotions.

Please note that you must always refuse. And even if help is vital. Initially, this will not be easy. But over time you will get used to it. By the way, very often such a step makes life much easier. You will not do anything to the detriment of yourself.

mirroring

Are you often offended? Or maybe you just succumb to eternal emotional tyranny? Gain strength and courage ... and mirror your behavior. Do not be afraid to hurt your offenders. However, like all other people.

What does it mean? Treat your offenders exactly as they treat you. It doesn't matter who it is - a relative or just a friend / acquaintance. Take an example from people who hurt you. They are usually just perfect. After all, the ability to hurt a nerve is a good skill for a cruel person.

What about those who communicate with you with kindness and friendliness? Mirroring will not help here - this is a charge of extra positive emotions. Therefore, just take an example from your offenders: try to distance yourself from such personalities, constantly tell them something offensive, unpleasant. Over time, this will become a habit.

Full control

And here is the golden rule that you should always remember. If you want to understand how to become insensitive, you need to take control of all your emotions. How exactly to do it? There is no exact algorithm here. Just a few tips.

To get started, choose a profession that makes you suppress emotions. For example, a doctor. There they will be able to teach you some things that will help bring our today's idea to life.

Also a good way to control emotions are a variety of psychological courses and trainings. They are called - "Emotions under control." True, they are more taught to restrain the negative. But similar principles can be interpreted for positive sensations.

In the end, on your own try to keep all the good things inside and suppress them. Think: "Everything is bad." And repeat this to yourself constantly. Even if everything is just great. Sooner or later you will notice, In this case, it remains only to always keep a stony, unemotional face when communicating.

It's all. Just before you become cruel and insensitive, think carefully about whether you really need it. Getting your emotions back will be harder. Pain is always easier to endure than to drown out.

How to become indifferent to a man? Svetlana Ermakova, the author of books on family life, answers the question of the same name about indifference to a former young man, voiced in a letter from a young woman. We think that her answer will be useful to any woman who wants to become indifferent to a man, ex-husband or lover. Asks ANNA: Svetlana, hello! I broke up with MCH almost a year ago (I forgot for a long time and it was difficult, I was breaking), I still haven’t completely let go. I do not know how to become indifferent to a man. I used your advice, re-read your articles and answers here ... it is constantly getting easier and easier. There are no strong bindings anymore... But thoughts about him still arise sometimes. I am very grateful to you for all your articles, books, advice. I now have such a question - I deleted, of course, the former MCH from friends in the social. networks. But I still have a friend of his. I know that a friend loves him very much, loves him, although my former MCH man is not very worthy. We don’t communicate with his friend (we talked a little, but everything stopped after parting with my man), although I really like this man’s friend (exactly as a person), I treat him well. Periodically, some information about the former (either a photo from their parties, or a like) appears on his friend's page, my heart skips and shrinks almost always - when reminded of my former MCH. Today I unsubscribed from notifications from a friend in general, so as not to see his news in the feed. And now I'm thinking - to remove my friend of the former MCH from the list of friends, or let it be for now? I remember that my goal is to become indifferent to the former man. What would you do? Would you delete everything related to the former person if the memories of him are not very positive? Would they delete his friend or...? Commented by another reader named LISA: Quite right! This will be real indifference! And when you think about who will think what and what conclusions they will draw from your actions, it is clear that you are not indifferent, you care. Thank you for reading to the end! Please take part in the evaluation of the article. Select the desired number of stars on the right on a 5-point scale. Online total: 4 Guests: 4 Users: 0

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composure - it is self-control, absence of fear, confidence in oneself and in one's actions; the ability not to panic in a tense situation and calmly analyze the causes of the problem, find a way out of a difficult situation. A cold-blooded person is non-confrontational, he restrains his emotions and maintains his composure. This is a very valuable character trait, without which, at times, one cannot do in difficult life situations.

Composure and indifference are special character traits

Another similar quality is indifference. During the time when emotional man goes into hysterics or is depressed, the indifferent enjoys a carefree life and believes that feelings should not be wasted on mere trifles. And in this case, reason prevails over prejudices.

We all sometimes face difficult situations for one reason or another, because of which we cannot always control ourselves. Even the most calm and balanced a person can be pissed off. Therefore, it is very important to be able to restrain your emotions and be cold-blooded. A person is capable of experiencing both positive and negative feelings. If good emotions bring us great joy, then the negative in the same volume fills life with anxiety, fear and irritability. Sometimes, you can’t cope with them, they unsettle. And it is worth considering how to avoid the consequences of all these negative feelings.

Fear is the biggest reason for not having control over bad emotions. From a young age, this feeling lives in us, grows with us, develops. Sometimes it seems to us that he is not there, but he is always in service; he is in our minds, guides us, sends signals (irritants) and often instead of common sense, the instinct of self-preservation works in us. He sinks his roots into nervous system and destroys it, a person becomes a victim of stress, nervous breakdowns and subsequently chronic diseases.

Coolness and indifference are the enemies of fear, thanks to these qualities, a person dominates fear and controls feelings, which affects relationships with others, the result of one's own undertakings, the mood and harmony of the soul.

How to become cold-blooded?

There is certainly an answer to this question. To become cold-blooded, you need to take the advice of psychologists.

Necessary:

• establish inner balance;
• learn endurance;
• visualize;
• do not dramatize;
• be distracted;
• be indifferent to the problem.

In order to establish inner balance, you need to move away from your fear, so you can remain stable and come to the realization of the problem. For example, if you forget that there is fear before any important event, then having calmed down, one can realize that the event is necessary, thereby inevitable. Breathing should be monitored, it should be even, this will give calmness. You need to understand that problems are tasks that need to be solved; as in school mathematics: concentrating. Of course, it is not easy, but this is how you need to educate yourself in order to become cold-blooded.

To be enduring, you need see the root of the problem, for this you need to fence off all unnecessary. Consciousness will be deprived of all interfering barriers, which will help to make the right decisions, understanding the problem from the depths. In this case, it is important to show such qualities as sympathy and mutual understanding, they are the main helpers, ready for a long exposure in the most problematic situation.

To visualize means to visualize difficult life circumstances like a web that needs to be untangled. Nervous, it will be difficult to do this, she will get even more confused, and in a calm environment, the result will be completely different. Having presented the problem in the form of a web, understanding will come to calm down.

To become cold-blooded need to think about the situation. and not worry. Put it on the shelves, weigh all the pros and cons, and decide on the decision. Do not rush and tell everyone about what is bothering you. It is better to be alone and think about the problem, because the first information may be incorrect, especially on emotions.

Do not dramatize and exaggerate the problem. Necessary soberly assess the situation, follow your thoughts. They can take you in the wrong direction. In order to prevent this from happening, you should force yourself to think that the problems are trifling and that it will not be difficult to solve them.

It is important to take your mind off the problem. Watch your favorite comedy that can make you laugh. Laughter is the best medicine. This will help you stay calm and relaxed.

How to be indifferent?

• Get away from yourself.
• Change behavior.

You need to step away from yourself. Each person has his own views on life, personal opinion, but in difficult moments it's better not to be yourself, but to become a witness to the situation and look at it from the side, this will be the first step towards indifference. You need to imagine that life is a movie, interesting, exciting, and you should not really live the plot of this movie. It is better to determine in which genre the film is, the characters of the characters, the essence of what is happening, try to predict what will happen next. Thanks to this detachment, you will not worry so much about yourself and accumulate internal anxiety, but will see a way out of the situation.

It is important to control your behavior and body, because in a strong desire to become indifferent, it is unlikely that anything will work if you do not relax. Behave in a neutral manner, do not spend money on unnecessary emotions, avoid provocations that can affect your emotions. Treat all people as if they were strangers. Talk to family and friends as if you do not know them, this will undoubtedly make you feel confident, be decent, talk tactfully and naturally.

But still gotta stay open, and perceive the situation, otherwise there is a risk of becoming a closed and aloof pessimist. Being indifferent is not difficult: carelessness, avoiding problems, etc. The main thing is not to get carried away and know the measure of your feelings, including indifference.

As you can see, becoming cold-blooded is not so difficult. Be prudent!

Hello dear readers! How often do you have to worry about wasted nerves? Sometimes we all find ourselves in critical situations, come up with the most terrible scenarios for the development of events, but in fact it turns out that the game was not worth the candle and everything is resolved by itself.

Today we will talk about how to become cold-blooded and indifferent, because now you most likely think that this is the only way out of the situation. You can't live like this anymore.

Most of your reactions are normal

The title of this chapter is the most important golden rule you need to understand first. Many people lack the awareness that they are, in fact, completely normal, and their reaction is quite natural.

In an attempt to become a cold-blooded person, you may lose your strengths. Why do you want to become calmer, cool towards people? You, but the spent nerves say that a certain person is dear to you and you are worried about your future.

For example, you often express your dissatisfaction with your husband, but doesn’t this mean that you are showing yourself at this moment as a caring woman? Do they not show your responsible attitude and professional approach to business?

Being cold-blooded to everything, you can lose everyone. Will it become completely different, devoid of benefits, advantages, brightness? Think about it, sometimes reconciling and accepting yourself as you are is the best solution available.

Next time, think about whether they are normal and what your positive qualities indicate. If you want to become a little calmer, I can offer some useful tips from psychology.

Don't share

The next time you encounter a difficulty that makes you feel strong emotions, try to exhale first and approach it rationally. Do not rush to retell it to your loved one or loved ones. Don't call friends. The interlocutor will only inflame you, you will be more nervous and worried.

You need to instill in yourself a rule - to solve the problem where it arose, and not to talk about it. Give yourself some time to cool down and then see what you can do to resolve the situation. Of course, you can ask for help or advice from loved ones, but do not shift the decision to them.

Forbid yourself to discuss the incident, what will you do in this case?

rejoice

No matter how many techniques for how to be cold-blooded you have learned, yours will be the decisive indicator. Most often, you immediately forget about all the techniques as soon as a real problem arises. Rejoice in the opportunity to change everything. Right now is your chance to practice. One can spend a few years studying Zen, but when faced with the misfortune of losing one's temper.

As soon as you have the opportunity, be cool and indifferent, at least outwardly, and then be sure to praise yourself and give a gift for doing the right thing. So, bit by bit, you can become a new person.

Literature

In one article it is impossible to describe all the techniques that will help. Fortunately, there are many excellent books on this subject that have become bestsellers. Some of them I would like to recommend to you.

In the book Osho Meditations for Busy People. You will find a whole bunch of techniques that will help you get rid of stress at the most critical moment. You will understand where experiences come from, you will be able to establish mind control over the body, you will learn how to meditate while eating, having sex and to penetrate silence when there are screams around and the situation is out of control. You will learn to speak to the voice of your heart and mind when it seems impossible to others.

If you prefer a psychological approach to problems, then I recommend reading Resilience by Sharon Melnick. In it, much attention is paid to the rules and strategies, harmony and, most importantly, calmness: how; the 50% rule or what to do with what you have no control over; what is reasonable detachment and how to address it; concentrate in 3 minutes, as well as where the buttons for “on” and “off” your emotions are located.

That's basically all, do not forget to subscribe to the newsletter, so as not to get confused in the world of psychology and always receive relevant and useful tips that work every day. See you again and good luck.