Valiant law enforcement agencies daily, with the help of local media, inform the townspeople about the incidents of the past day. Every day, according to operational information, thefts occur (53 cases this weekend), fraud is recorded - 7, hooliganism, family quarrels, possession and sale of drugs, illegal handling of weapons, the police take statements of missing persons and accidents. However, a separate column is occupied by suicides, including those of children and adolescents. This weekend, one person took his own life, on July 18 - there were two of them, and so on ... Readers shake their heads, horrified, and nothing changes from this. But what to do?...
Some condemn people who committed suicide, others regret and sympathize with the loved ones of the deceased, and still others try to understand the root of the problem. After all, suicidal tendencies do not appear out of nowhere. Someone believes that this is weakness and an escape from reality and problems, others - that this weakness requires a fair amount of courage and mental strength. The position of the church on this issue is known, unchanged and irreconcilable: suicide is one of the greatest sins. What is the opinion of psychologists?
For answers "Events and comments" turned to Antonina Shurbina, a practicing psychologist at the Youth-Friendly Clinic of the City Children's Polyclinic No. 4.
- Antonina Nikolaevna, tell us how suicidal tendencies arise?
A.Sh.:- The causes of suicide are not only emotional upheavals and traumatic events. Many different factors play a role in the development of suicidal tendencies, including a person's mental health and even genetic predisposition. Thus, among the reasons we can distinguish: genetic predisposition, mental disorders, alcohol and drug addiction, life circumstances. These can be problems in relationships in the family, the death of loved ones, phobias (fears), betrayal, love, deformities. And here it is impossible not to note the influence of computer games on the psyche.
- How can loved ones recognize “alarm bells” in a person’s behavior in time?
A.Sh.:- You need to pay attention to increased anxiety, unmotivated fears, aggression, avoiding all kinds of contact with people, insomnia, tearfulness, impaired appetite, apathy, the presence of suicidal thoughts.
A careful sudden bringing of all affairs in order, as if summing up, a certain line, should also alert. As well as fussy behavior, constant haste somewhere. According to statistics, 80 percent of people who commit suicide somehow let others know about their intention.
-Following this description hurts the whole generation. We are all in a hurry to live, and we don’t have time to go anywhere, completely forgetting not only about God’s commandments, but also about the elementary logic so beautifully folded in the works of the eastern sages ... And, therefore, a fairly significant part of the blame lies on the shoulders of us, the survivors , so inattentive to those who left ... So what to do if suddenly such "calls" showed up? How can I help you? How to save?
A.Sh.:- Even an ordinary conversation, an attempt to improve relationships, if there was a crack in them, can save from this step, the “point of no return”. Everyone is able to help their loved ones overcome internal discord, despair, change their attitude towards themselves. It is worth showing as much attention as possible to such a person. Perhaps this is what he lacks. Of course, you need to contact competent specialists.
What kind of people are most suicidal?
A.Sh.:- People who are very sensitive (sensitive) and vulnerable are prone to suicide, because they perceive the world around them too subtly. Suicide is committed in moments of weakness, powerlessness and inability to overcome the conditions of perception of the surrounding world: no goal, no money, strong resentment. The mind simply does not work when the psyche and feelings are bare. They always say: “Calm down, think! A calm mind knows how to think calmly, but an excited and wounded one does not even hear itself…”.
In any difficult situation, you need to stop and try to get out of a stressful state, into a stress-free space, find a soul mate, talk. You need to calm down and balance the psyche. Then there is a way out of even a seemingly impasse.
- Can a person cope with this condition on his own or can not do without outside help?
A.Shch.: - Where there is light, there is no place for darkness. Where there are thoughts of goodness, there are no obsessive thoughts. And suicide is indeed the most serious sin. If such thoughts appear, you need to remember your loved ones. Try to spend more time with cheerful people who love and appreciate life. Do not drink alcohol or keep it to a minimum. And, of course, you need to contact a specialist who will help overcome such situations.
- We are talking about people who have relatives or friends. About those who have someone to help. But what about lonely people? Can we, on the basis of altruistic motives, recognize such a person in the crowd and help him (her)?
A.Sh.:- It is impossible to recognize a person prone to suicide in a crowd. He can behave outwardly absolutely adequately ...
- What services deal with such cases? What specific measures are being taken?
A.Shch.: - The most effective mechanisms are "hot lines", a helpline, psychologists and psychiatrists, work with children in schools, for believers - a temple, and most importantly - love, attention, understanding and care of parents, if we are talking about children. The main thing is not to be alone and not to leave alone our loved ones who are in trouble.
Interviewed by Angelina Krikheli
Here, on the one hand, this is a simple question, but, on the other hand, it is a complex one ... It happens that a person himself cannot figure out the reasons for his actions.
But I understand that the main reason is resentment. Such a nasty unpleasant feeling, which often just does not cry out ... I want, that's it, to take revenge!
And, of course, a sense of justice. So you feel like this is unfair. This is where I want to put things in order. Sometimes you need to directly punish the offender! Let there be an example for others!
Sometimes it's a feeling of wounded pride. That is, it is unpleasant that you were not invited somewhere. In the wrong place, in your opinion, they were seated at the table ... Many reasons! But it all comes down to ego, to our ideas of self-importance.
They say that offenders need to be forgiven, that it’s bad to hold a grudge in yourself. So, maybe sometimes it's better to take revenge right away? And it's easier on the soul. But then you will definitely do something bad. And if you harbor a grudge, and more than one, then it will gnaw at you from the inside. You keep coming back to this topic, remembering an unpleasant moment. You think what could be done… You think over plans! That is, you are fixated on the negative (what happened and what you are going to do). But it is clear that forgiveness is not so easy.
Many people can neither sleep nor eat because of resentment, a sense of injustice. So they decide to take revenge. But it is clear that nothing can be corrected already, that no one can be returned by this revenge.
It is said that revenge is in human nature, as are mistakes. But we are trying not to make mistakes, so we need to try, in my opinion, not to take revenge.
Although I myself took revenge a couple of times. More precisely, he did it in retaliation. Only this happens either immediately, or very quickly. I can't remember bad things for long! Again, this may not be a very good quality for me. What feelings did I experience? Anger! And then more gloating and complacency. Here, they say, how cunning, brave I am ... Maybe there was nothing to be proud of ...
It used to be that a tooth for a tooth. But you won't save enough teeth! Then came the religion that speaks of forgiveness, mercy. But people are still taking revenge, films about revenge are being made.
Apparently, revenge and the feelings that push her are very natural. But we don't do everything that comes naturally! At least we can drive it into the borders. You can’t yell at the offender, so we go to hit the punching bag in the gym or meditate, but this is already more difficult. You need to control your grievances, your thoughts, feelings, then there will be fewer reasons for revenge.
Grade 11. December final
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Incredible Facts
What makes a person end another person's life? Is there a special type of people "born to kill", or is this potential inherent in each of us? Does this behavior depend on the situation and scenario? Or maybe we are all born killers who suppress our essence, or do we have to break all social and psychological barriers in order to be able to take the life of another person?
These are the questions that mankind has been trying to answer for many centuries. There are different types of killers. There are mentally unstable killers who show psychopathic and sociopathic deviations. These people appear to have a "limited resistance" to killing. There are assassins and assassins who kill for profit or to maintain their status in the group. There are those who kill in self-defense. There are soldiers whose job it is to kill the enemy in combat.
However, do they have anything in common? Or does each type have its own characteristics? There is a lot of controversy regarding this. A soldier will probably object to being placed in the same category as a serial killer. However, delving into the question, how does a soldier who purposefully kills a person, albeit an enemy, differ from one who also consciously kills a person, but does it from other motives?
These are questions that are very difficult to answer. In fact, there are no clear answers to them, however, scientists, psychologists and neuroscientists have proposed several hypotheses about why we kill and what pushes us to do it. We will break the proposed arguments into two categories: nature (genetics) and nurture. Genetics argue that we all have the ability to kill because we evolved that way.
Evolutionary psychology
There is a somewhat controversial approach in psychology that says that some of our behavior is deeply embedded in us. According to this theory, people evolved with certain behavioral traits that they passed on to the next generations. Over time, these behaviors change. This approach is part of evolutionary psychology.
Unfortunately, even among supporters of evolutionary psychology there is no consensus. According to David Sloan Wilson, one of the reasons for the development of such disputes lies in the previously popular theory of Led Cosmides (Led Cosmides) and John Tooby (John Tooby). Wilson claims that their theory of evolutionary psychology is very narrow and misleading. Among the shortcomings of their theory, he notes the limitations of the evolutionary environment of adaptation, namely the range of conditions in which people lived during the evolutionary process. As a result, the authors came to the conclusion that the human mind has developed many behaviors designed to solve certain problems that arise under certain conditions.
Wilson says that Cosmides and Tooby oversimplified the elements of human nature, dividing them into male and female principles. In addition, he is also critical of the scope of their theory, arguing that they did not take into account the differences between ethnic groups and the rapid evolution of the brain over a relatively short period of time. Wilson notes that there are many other approaches to explaining human behavior from an evolutionary perspective.
In the book Evolutionary Psychology and Violence by David Buss and Joshua Dunley, in the section on murder, the authors suggest that aggression is a trait that has been inherited by humans since the prehistoric era. People were forced to compete with each other for resources. Sometimes this competition led to violence. As a result, the people who survived developed a parallel "skill set". One set of skills helped a person to cope with aggression, the other - to cause more harm to the enemy.
According to this hypothesis, people have become more adept at both the ability to avoid aggression and the ability to cause harm. Moreover, the skills were passed down from generation to generation. Based on this theory, we can say that we are all capable of killing. Many supporters of evolutionary psychology do not deny that other equally important factors influence the development of a person as a killer. They recognize that the environment and circumstances play an important role. However, our essence is that, in fact, we are all killers.
Critics of evolutionary psychology say that our consciousness is not as cruel as psychologists make it out to be. They point to how quickly our minds have evolved since prehistoric times - much faster than the popular exposition of evolutionary psychology "conveys". Critics also contend that humans are too complex to be analyzed in this way by evolutionary psychology.
However, what is the other side of the coin? What makes a person become a murderer?
If, nevertheless, we assume that not all of us are killers and refrain from this type of behavior due to the presence of social and psychological restrictions, then what actually "creates" a killer?
According to the soldiers, this is a process that involves four strategies: cruelty, classical conditioning, operant conditioning, and role model.
Cruelty ("brutality") is a process during which a person loses a sense of his own value as a person. Inside the military structures, this is a very regulated process. Recruits go through it hard, sometimes even having a sense of individuality knocked out of them in humiliating ways. This helps the military to reduce the resistance of most people when they are faced in practice with the concept of ending someone else's life.
In classical conditioning, the goal is to associate the desired behavior with a reward. Grossman says it is not often used in American military training because it seems morally reprehensible to link violence to rewards. In operant conditioning, soldiers are trained under artificially created conditions to develop an automatic response to certain stimuli. An example is shooting at targets in the form of a human body.
The role model for the military is the combat leader. It is his job to show and teach aggression while maintaining discipline. Thus, over time, soldiers begin to look at the combatant as a model of behavior. This combined approach, in theory, will create a soldier capable of killing the enemy in combat.
It is possible that killers who have never been soldiers, including serial killers, have similar experience to a military recruit. The main difference is that they did not acquire their experience in a controlled environment. The rationale behind the actions of many killers is cruelty. In some cases, the killers began to implement their plans for those who are weaker than them, thus demonstrating their strength and power.
Look at the features of serial killers and you will start to notice some common elements. Many people who eventually become serial killers suffered severe childhood trauma or were themselves victims of abuse. Of course, this is a strong oversimplification of the problem, however, there is no doubt that there is a strong correlation between a traumatic childhood and the corresponding behavior of a serial killer.
Many killers have a pronounced sense of alienation, and before moving on to action, they usually fantasize a lot about this topic. In some cases, the killer suffers from a mental disorder or from brain damage that either inhibits or completely deprives the person of the social and psychological constraints that keep normal people from such behavior.
Thus, regardless of the reason for becoming a person on this path, in any case, he needs a catalyst that pushes him to kill. Identifying and understanding the elements that can turn a person into a killer can help the world community prevent future tragedies.
According to American experts, about 90 percent of servicemen experience obvious fear in battle, often purely physiological: nausea, vomiting, etc. And in research Russian, American, German and French experts show that, in fact, a maximum of 25 percent of soldiers are fighting: they conduct aimed fire, deliberately move to the battlefield, etc. The rest are active only when in full view of the commander. If it is not there, they hide in a safe place, imitate the failure of equipment, mental or physical trauma, and “escort” wounded colleagues to the rear.
American scientists David Rand and Ziv Epstein took up, frankly, a "slippery" topic. They decided to find out what pushes people to exploits. The scientists interviewed laureates who were awarded medals from the Carnegie Heroes Fund. The conclusion surprised psychologists: the courageous and decisive actions of the laureates were not at all caused by a sense of duty or a disinterested desire to save someone's life. People performed heroic deeds unconsciously. They first acted and only then they thought and realized what they had done. Exaggerating, one can recall the hero of the film “Such a guy lives,” who explained the reason for his feat in this way: “Out of stupidity.”
But American scientists need a scientific version. If the heroes took risks unconsciously, then maybe the reason is in the gene of altruism? Its discovery is periodically reported by various scientific groups. However, opponents object: there is no one gene for altruism, just as there is no gene for happiness, intelligence, fear, etc. Entire gene ensembles are responsible for this. They are yet to be opened.
When ants die saving an anthill, this is not altruism, not morality, but species behavior, a reflex to preserve the gene pool, - says Marina Egorova, professor at the Faculty of Psychology of Moscow State University. - In humans, this is inherent at the level of instinct. He first of all saves his relatives and only then other people. Saves his genes to save offspring.
According to Egorova, a number of studies have shown that a person has a predisposition to heroic behavior. The reason is most likely that man is social by nature. Constantly living in a group, we are forced to help others, expecting that our participation will not go unanswered. That is, helping others becomes our habit. And in an emergency, a person can act reflexively, save someone's life, risking his own. This is unconscious heroism. In fact, the prize winners, who were studied by American scientists, spoke about him.
However, they especially emphasize that they do not in any way claim to be true, that their conclusions must be repeatedly rechecked. Much depends on specific people, on the situation in which they showed heroism, on what they clearly remember. And then the results can be opposite. But the very attempt to understand the nature of heroism deserves attention.
Can heroism be conscious? The song sings, "when the country orders, we have a hero becomes any." But anyone? Scientists from different countries have conducted many studies and named a list of incentives to accomplish a feat. They are quite obvious: love for the Motherland, hatred for the enemy, a sense of military duty, comradeship, mutual assistance, fear of contempt from comrades, the desire to distinguish themselves, to receive an award. Each of them can, in principle, move a person to a heroic deed. Everything depends on the situation.
By definition, treason is a violation of fidelity. You can be wrong in relation to people, to any principles, to the Fatherland, etc. We will talk about betrayal in love: what drives a person to cheat, what reasons can push to infidelity and what it can lead to.
Causes of betrayal
So what drives a person to cheat?
Causes cheating spouses various factors can become, ranging from banal dissatisfaction with the seminal life and ending with the psychological characteristics of the partner. It is worth mentioning the most basic, frequently occurring motives for infidelity.
Novelty of sensations
This is the most banal and most common reason that spouses try to justify their betrayal. It occurs when marriage becomes routine. The bored monotony of life causes a desire to change something, to get away from the hateful reality, to diversify relationships, to bring a fresh wave of forgotten sensations into your life.
This underlying basis is chronic and is accompanied by long-term relationships with lovers.
pure chance
The manifestation of infidelity can also occur in quite prosperous families, when one of the spouses finds himself in a situation that causes a surge of emotions. If there were no plans in advance to start a relationship "on the side", there were no previous romantic courtship, and everything happened spontaneously.
Such adultery is random and rarely recurs. If the connection was not noticed by anyone, it often does not affect family life.
Middle age crisis
Oh, how I do not want to grow old! Each person has his own age mark, when consciousness notices external withering and in feelings. This usually happens by the age of 40 or a little later.
For their own self-affirmation, men begin to court strangers, often much younger than themselves. The benevolence of young people gives the illusion of the return of youth, and with it self-confidence.
Women are no less painfully experiencing this age mark. It is the attention of men from the side that gives them a chance to make sure that the attractiveness has not yet been lost. Therefore, often even on a subconscious level, women resort to flirting and accepting courtship, often developing into more serious relationships.
This type of betrayal is dangerous for a marriage if the spouses in the family do not receive enough attention and compliments that increase their self-esteem.
Reckless marriage
Not infrequently, cases when the decision to marry was made purely emotionally, relying only on bright dreams of a happy family life, lead to adultery. This is especially true for early marriages. Faced with the reality of life, young spouses may not be ready to accept it and solve problems. There is a desire to quit everything and start a new life with another partner.
If the husband and wife do not have enough wisdom to solve problems, the marriage will fall apart.
Revenge
The most stupid reason for cheating. Having avenged in this way for infidelity or inattention, the spouses not only do not achieve what they want from their "half", but also aggravate relations in the family.
Conclusion
It is definitely not possible to say what drives change. Each person is individual and relationships in the family are made up of a lot of different factors. But that, what does cheating lead to, can be called with a high degree of probability. Think about it and be faithful to your chosen ones.
