It is difficult to find a girl who at least once in her life did not want to hurt the man who offended her. In most cases, such a desire arises in a fit of anger, although sometimes the question of how to hurt him becomes a matter of life for a girl. What to do if the most expensive person until recently spoils your life or simply pisses you off?

How to hurt a guy

Pain can be both physical and mental. It is better to refuse the first option right away, unless you attend the martial arts section. But for representatives of the better half of humanity, more sophisticated and insidious methods are still characteristic. A woman can simply quit, she can start up an impartial rumor, or even go for treason. The motives are different, but the goal is almost always the same - to make the scoundrel regret what he did, affect self-esteem, humiliate. Remember: the word hurts the most. Your shrewd and caustic tone will make him feel uncomfortable. And now, when he is completely at a loss and, speaking in the language of boxers, “opened up”, you inflict the last, “knockout” blow: a deadly reminder of the most awkward, incidental or simply shameful incident in his male life. It works 100%. But here it is useful to correctly calculate the “impact force”. If you still don’t want to lose him forever, you shouldn’t touch the guy’s intimate sphere or humiliate him by listing the numerous virtues of your ex. This will already be a "hit below the belt."

How to hurt an ex

A few "innocent" tips:

• Don't answer calls.
• Ignore.
• Set statuses for other guys.
• Brought to white heat, answer that you were busy.
• Stop walking.
• Forget about promises.
• Refer to "important things".
• Attract the attention of other men, flirt with them.
• With all this, look damn irresistible.

And here is an example of a creative approach to the issue. The girl threw bread crumbs on the roof of the car that offended her boyfriend. In the morning the whole car was covered in pigeon droppings and scratched by feathered claws. We believe that the reason for the avenger was more than weighty.

Hurt a man, what's next

Most girls later regret revenge, moreover, they do not see any effective result of their actions. After all, most often emotions splash out thoughtlessly, in haste, and this makes it difficult to assess a difficult situation objectively and, therefore, to find an adequate solution. In any case, you can resolve the conflict calmly and balancedly, try to understand a close (albeit already in the past) person, because to understand is almost to forgive. It is possible that the young man does not understand his mistake. In such a situation, revenge is all the more pointless, because he simply will not understand the reasons for your anger. It is necessary to put all the points in their place and sort it out calmly. And he will undoubtedly ask for forgiveness without any tricks on your part. And if he doesn’t ask, why is he like that to you?

So, information on how to hurt a loved one can be obtained from the Internet. The question is not in the question, "how" but in the word "why"? Why hurt someone? So, there are many ways to hurt. But what is the purpose of this movement? The point is that everything in this life comes back. Is it worth taking revenge? Isn't it the best way to forget and switch without wasting precious energy on trifles?

But still, there are situations when a partner likes, does not get out of her head, a girl thinks a lot about her partner. And then, can not forget him. He caught on to something. There is something in this man that does not go out of the head of a girl. Then it’s still worth thinking about how you can really hurt your man. So, the first thing that will touch him is, of course, the irresistible brilliance, grooming, accuracy, cleanliness of the girl herself.

The second, of course, is the appearance of an irresistible girl (if she was also irresistible before, then she should buy a new dress, high heels), but it’s worth hitting him on the spot, with something creatively new.

A girl should appear, next to a new guy. Preferably, younger than the previous one, more courteous than the former. . It is desirable that he sincerely experience these emotions or at least play them.

The third way to catch a former man is to portray, again, either sincere joy or pretend to be joyful. This will make it clear to the ex-man that the girl is fine without him. It's worth showing it sincerely.

How painful is it to make a man think about what he has lost? So, the fourth way is through acquaintances to tell the guy that the girl talked with his friends and with the new boyfriend and was in a very good mood and condition.

The fifth way is to call him, as if by chance and play along in such a way that the new boyfriend would say compliments and words of love to her, and the ex-lover would accidentally hear it. It is advisable to keep the phone near you. It will hurt the ex-man. Namely, that someone else was able to appreciate his girlfriend more than he did.

The sixth way is to get married! Post a photo on a social network - cheerful, successful and well-groomed guests and parents, as well as the newlyweds themselves. The seventh way is to go on a trip and post a photo of the trip with your loved one, also on a social network.

Especially if both the girl and her new boyfriend have visited many exotic places and they have something to show. It is worth posting their photos not only on a social network, but you can also show them by chance, through mutual friends. The eighth way is to think about what else can be done. Namely, to provide visual, auditory evidence of love.

You can go where the ex-man likes to go and start dancing. It is desirable that someone invite you to dance. You can leave or with a new gentleman.

The ninth way is to send an SMS, love, but "" make a mistake "", with the partner's phone number. And thus, again to remind myself.

The tenth way, contrary to the former, is to engage in your own self-improvement. Sign up for courses on strip plastics, master a certain type of massage. It is worth raising your own self-esteem in any way.

These methods are suitable as an answer to the question of how to hurt your husband. Moreover, his moral pain will overwhelm him.

It is worth understanding that revenge is not necessary. You just need to assert yourself in your own eyes. Again, not in him. Well, why is this necessary? Affirm in his eyes? It is worth asserting yourself in your own eyes. This is the most important moment of self-improvement over your own self-confidence. Raise yourself in your eyes, increase self-esteem, raise your mood. And of course, become much more confident than before! He must feel it. The main thing that a girl will feel, and a man even more so.

At the same time, the girl should find her outlet, namely a certain hobby. Through him, show your success to an ex-man. A man will understand that he has lost not only his soul, body, but also power over a woman. It is always painful to realize that you have not considered, not perceived, not realized. And with the help of power, find an approach. Or vice versa, a man will be able to reconsider his attitude towards his ex-lover and take over her again. You can be interested in yourself, not only in the beautiful appearance and quality of makeup, but also in the desire to understand male psychology.

It is necessary for a woman to become not the same as before. She should change not only her behavior, but also her attitude. Namely, to be feminine, tender, pleasant, in demand, decoy. To be able to make good money is the main way to increase your own rating.

Because a successful girl. will always attract any man. Not only the girl will be hurt if her ex-boyfriend finds himself or becomes better than under her. Perhaps both the guy and herself are a motivator for further development. But it is always joyful to realize that a person has risen, began to develop successfully after certain relationships. As if people met at a certain point in time to become what they became.

Following in the footsteps of the Tea Party with the Psychologist last week. Thanks girls for the ideas!

It's no secret that anything can happen in a relationship. And, of course, quarrels, scandals - as without it. But there are buoys for which it is better not to swim. Because this can lead to the fact that your "love boat" will soon become damp and go to the bottom.

Verified by 9 years of psychological counseling and the experience of my clients.

Buoy 1. Humiliation

If the conflict is already in full swing, then the desire to win is great. This is clear. But the price of this victory is most often associated with the humiliation of a partner. Usually, all the dirt that has accumulated over the previous period is poured onto him (or her). These are insults ("you're a fool" - the softest thing you can hear"), "poking" your nose at shortcomings, threats to leave such a "freak" ... etc.

When the storm subsides and you make peace, everything will come to naught. But ... usually in the heat of a quarrel, people hit the most painful place of a loved one. Which you managed to trace and isolate. And then the next thing happens - a residue remains. Like a wormhole in an apple. And, if the scandal repeats itself according to a similar scenario, the worminess of the apple increases. In the end, you will have a spoiled apple in front of you. That is, relationships.

Question: how then to swear?

• Offer.

During a quarrel, it is better to talk about how you feel at the moment when a loved one does something wrong.

For example: "When you were late at work and did not remember my performance in the evening, I was terribly offended. I cried for 2 hours. It was an extremely bestial act."

(Note that here I'm defining an act, not a person. Even a nice guy can do shitty things - I think it's not a secret.)

If the quarrel goes in this direction, then the likelihood that you will be heard will be high. And when you attack a person (perhaps even quite justifiably) and call him names, then there is a great desire to protect yourself from you. But don't listen. And even more so - to take your position and understand what you feel.

Buoy 2. Comparison

Of course, your partner does not suit you in everything. And that's okay. But the desire to improve what is, is great. Therefore, the tried and tested Soviet pedagogical method is used: comparison.

Remember at school: "Petya Ivanov is our pride! An excellent student, draws well - take an example from him!"

And remember your feelings at that moment: shame that you do not meet this high standard of Ivanov, the understanding that you will never reach it ... Well, and a strong desire to do something awry, out of spite ...

What happens to you when a close person compares you with someone? .. I think you are hurt and offended at this moment.

It turns out that the method is inefficient.

• Offer.

Try talking to him or her. An example, if you are not satisfied with the figure of a partner: "Wouldn't you like to go to the gym? So I'm going, because I ate my sides ... but I'm too lazy. Now, if we are together, this is a completely different matter! You will cheer me up, and I will cheer you up!" If he/she agrees, great. But after all can and refuse. Then it is the position of the person. It's hard to do anything with her. You have to accept it as is. I sympathize.

Displacer 3. Depreciation

Imagine I bought myself a new dress. I resort to a close friend - I brag. And she told me: "Oh, you already had something like that. And, in general, it would be better if you bought yourself a coat, otherwise yours is no longer fashionable ...".

The curtain. Shopping pleasure ruined.

Or else, when a husband, for example, animatedly tells you about a friend who bought a new car. And you: "What are you telling me about Volodya? Everything is clear with him - he has nowhere to put the dough. And you'd better take out the trash, otherwise you promised yesterday and didn't do it".

Everything. The shell closes. The husband understands that you care about his daily business. The likelihood that he will soon go where he will be listened to is high. And it doesn't have to be a blonde with a round butt. It could be an ordinary woman. Who just knows how to listen.

• Offer.

Your interests are likely to be different. Show respect for the hobbies and affairs of a loved one. And if you're not interested... Are you sure you're living with that person?

Buoy 4. Silence

Golden classic of my childhood. If mom is offended, mom is silent. And he does not explain the reason for his silence. That is, it was not clear to me what my mother was offended by. I could only guess. I remember how in childhood this made me feel uncomfortable and scared.

When she grew up, it is clear that she actively practiced this method of "communication" - family style and all that. The destructive effect of it is amazing. In terms of the equivalent, it's like you're packing your things for no reason and heading to Mexico for, say, a month. Leaving a partner alone. Confused and confused. Upon returning from the former proximity, something falls off. If you increase the frequency of use, the relationship falls apart completely.

• Offer.

Even if there is such a habit - do not lock yourself up, communicate at any cost. Maybe it makes sense to write a letter, send an SMS, draw lipstick on the wall ... but why not? .. But communication is a must!

Buok 5. Avoiding conversation - irony, ridicule, denial of the conflict itself

You are a guy: "Let's talk about what happened yesterday. I was hurt by what you did.". And he replied: "Oh, you are my crybaby, you just have to cry" or "So it was yesterday, something to remember something."

Or your husband says to you: "Let's discuss the budget. We've been planning for a long time". And you: "Oh, I need to call Masha, otherwise she will be offended."

When you are scared and do not want to deal with other people's emotions and affairs, you move away from the problem. Different ways. For a loved one, such actions speak of your indifference. It hurts him or her.

• Offer.

You can tell how you feel when it comes to what you're afraid of. For example: " I know that we have been planning to discuss the budget for a long time, but I am afraid that in the course of the conversation we will quarrel. We look at finance differently."

And then it becomes clear to another person what exactly is happening to you. And this is an occasion for a constructive conversation.

From experience - most often people hurt each other not from evil. But because of a misunderstanding.

Anecdote on the subject:

A man hails a taxi

— Where are you going?

- No, I will not go to the boas ...

- No, you misunderstood me ... Where do you want to go?

- Well, if necessary, let's go to the boas.

Even in a good relationship, anything can happen: quarrels, scandals - without this, nowhere. But no matter how angry you are with your partner right now, remember: There are buoys that are better not to swim. Otherwise, your "love boat" will soon become damp and go to the bottom. Tested by the experience of my clients in nine years of psychological counseling.

So:

Buoy 1. Humiliation

When the conflict is in full swing, the desire to win at any cost is great. But if the price of victory is the humiliation of a partner, you can easily lose a relationship. In the heat of a quarrel, we pour out all the accumulated dirt on our partner. These are insults (“you are a fool” - the softest), “poking” your nose into shortcomings, threats to leave such a “freak” ... and so on.

When the storm subsides and you make peace, everything will be forgotten. But ... usually, in the heat of a quarrel, people hit the most painful places of a loved one that they managed to recognize during the relationship. The insult is forgotten, but the sediment remains. It's like a wormhole in an apple. And with each subsequent scandal, the worminess of the apple increases. In the end, you will get a spoiled apple. That is relationships.

And how then to swear?

During a quarrel, it is better to talk about your condition at the moment when a loved one does something wrong. For example: “When you were late at work and did not remember about my performance in the evening, I was terribly offended. I cried for two hours. It was an extremely brutal act."

(Note that here I'm defining an act, not a person. Even a good guy can do shitty things - I think it's not a secret). If the quarrel goes in this direction, there are more chances that you will be heard. When you attack a person (even justifiably), there is a desire to defend yourself, but not to listen. And the last thing you want is to take your position and understand how you feel.

Buoy 2. Comparison

It is quite normal that your partner does not suit you in everything. And it is clear that you want to make it better. It's all about methods.

Many use the tried and tested Soviet pedagogical method: comparison. Remember at school: “Petya Ivanov is our pride! Excellent student, draws well - take an example from him! Remember your feelings at this moment: and shame that you do not meet this high standard of Ivanov, and the understanding that you will never reach, and resentment that they do not appreciate ... and a strong desire to do everything awry, out of spite ...

What happens to you when someone close to you compares you to someone? I think you are hurt and offended. It turns out that comparison is an inefficient way.

How do you tell your partner that you are not happy with something?

Try to talk. Let's say if you don't like your partner's figure: “Would you like to go to the gym? So I'm going, because I ate the sides ... but one was too lazy. Let `s together! You will cheer me up, and I will cheer you up! If your partner agrees, great. But he may refuse. Then this is the position of a person, and it is difficult to do anything with it. You will have to decide what is more important: the figure of a partner or a relationship with him.

Displacer 3. Depreciation

Imagine I bought myself a new dress. I resort to a close friend - I brag. And she told me: “So you kind of had it ... It would be better if I bought a coat instead of the old one ...” Curtain. Shopping pleasure ruined.

Or, for example, a husband animatedly tells you about a friend's new car. And you: “Why are you telling me about Volodya. Everything is clear with him - he has nowhere to put his money. You'd better take out the garbage, yesterday you promised and didn't do it. We've arrived. The husband understands that his pressing affairs are on your drum.

It is highly likely that soon he will go where he will be listened to. And not necessarily a blonde with a round booty. It could be an ordinary woman. Who just knows how to be attentive.

And what if you get bored listening?

It is only natural that you and your partner have different interests. However, show

respect for the hobbies and affairs of a loved one. And if it’s completely unbearable ... Are you sure that you live with that person?

Buoy 4. Silence (aka ignoring)

The golden classic of my childhood: if my mother is offended, my mother is silent. And he does not explain the reason for his silence. I myself had to be clearly aware of my unworthy behavior. But I didn't understand! But I remember how scary and uncomfortable it was as a child. And when she grew up, she actively practiced the same “family” method of communication.

The destructive effect of it is amazing. In terms of the equivalent, you seem to pack your things for no reason and leave for a month, for example, to Mexico. Showing with all your appearance that it is the partner who is to blame for your flight. And he remains alone - in confusion and bewilderment. And after each such story, something falls off from the former proximity. Until there is nothing left of her.

What if I can't talk about my feelings?

Communicate in any way: write letters, send SMS, draw messages with lipstick on the wall ... why not? The main thing is not to close. This only makes you worse.

Buoyok 5. Leaving the conversation

Through irony, ridicule, denial of the conflict itself.

You to the guy: “Let's talk about what happened yesterday. I was hurt by what you did." And he answered: “Oh, you are my crybaby, you just have to cry,” or: “So it was yesterday, why remember that.” Or your husband says to you: “Let's discuss the budget. We've been planning for a long time." And you: “Oh, I need to call Masha, otherwise she will be offended.” This is an escape from an uncomfortable conversation.

When you are scared and do not want to deal with other people's emotions and affairs, you move away from the problem. Different ways. For a loved one, such actions speak of your indifference. It hurts him or her.

So how do you overcome the fear of speaking?

Talk about your fears. For example: “I know that we have been going to discuss the budget for a long time, but I am afraid that in the course of the conversation we will quarrel. We look at finances too differently.” It becomes clear to the other person what exactly is happening to you. And this is an occasion for a constructive conversation.

Most often, people do not hurt each other out of malice. But because of a misunderstanding. A joke on the subject.

A man hails a taxi

Where are you?

No, I will not go to the boas ...

No, you misunderstood me ... Where do you want to go?

Well, if necessary, let's go to the boas.

Mila Kolpakchi, psychologist