Think about life easier. Even without going into psychological nuances, purely logical thinking can come to the conclusion that self-confidence directly proportionally affects our choice and our conclusions about a particular task or problem.
There is a very striking example of this, called "School task". This experiment was carried out by the famous psychologist Albert Bandura. So, what did he do: he gathered students in two classes, in each of which there were both "excellent students" and "losers" (that is, from the point of view of the mental component, they were equally strong). In addition, the students were from the same class (only different subgroups). After that, he asked each group to solve one and the same problem, however, in the first group, he mentioned that the task was extremely difficult, and in the second, on the contrary, he said that the task was very easy and even for the weakest students it would not cause problems.
The results of this experiment were as follows: in the group in which it was reported that the task was extremely difficult, most of the students quickly gave up and did not solve the problem. And the group in which they mentioned the ease of solving the problem, most of the students, on the contrary, solved this problem. Moreover, even the weakest students did not give up, continuing to stubbornly seek a solution, despite the lack of knowledge, and many of them succumbed to the task!
This experiment clearly showed how people react to difficulties. If they already at a subconscious level give themselves a signal that this problem is practically unsolvable, then they will immediately poke in front of it, because they do not believe in themselves and their strengths. But it turns out that any life problem has a simple solution, the main thing is to treat it, in no way, as an extremely complex task, but as a simple situation. The easier you perceive life, the faster you will believe in yourself and learn to achieve any heights in this life.
Build on the experience of your peers. Sometimes the lack of faith in ourselves is due to the fact that we begin to compare ourselves with other people who also failed to solve such a problem. As a rule, we say to ourselves something like this phrase: “Well, if he didn’t succeed! I certainly won't be able to!" So to speak and think, at least - is stupid. Remember that you are a unique person who cannot be like the rest in either abilities or skills. What doesn't work for others doesn't mean it won't work for you. Never give up early! And if you decide to compare yourself with another person, then consider him and your experience in a particular area.
Remember your good experience. Sometimes, in order to believe in yourself and start achieving results, you just need to remember your successful experience in this area. For example, if you do not believe that you will be able to win a competition in a big tournament, then try to look into your past, in which you will see a lot of victories. And think about it: people just don’t get into big tournaments. Naturally, past success does not guarantee future success, but the past can give you confidence and hope, and this is enough to get a considerable chance of winning. It is on personal experience that we consider our chances, so if you want to inspire confidence in your strengths, remember your past SUCCESSFUL experience.
Raise the bar to believe in yourself. We begin to respect ourselves and believe in ourselves only when we do something beyond our capabilities. After all, you will not be proud if you beat a small child who has just learned the basics of this game in chess?! But you will be extremely happy when a strong grandmaster loses to you. It is so?! That's why, so that faith in yourself never disappears, you need to gradually raise your bar. Belief in yourself, or as it is also called - "self-efficacy", can grow along with the complication of the tasks that you solve. But most importantly, by solving problems of a more complex nature, you become an even more successful person!
It is more difficult to survive a childhood or teenage defeat. You can never compare yourself in the present tense, with yourself in childhood. If you were unable to build relationships with girls in your youth, this does not mean that there will be problems in adulthood. Difficulties can arise only if you assure yourself that you still do not deserve the attention of the beautiful half of humanity, for some reason. We agree that it is very difficult to believe in ourselves in childhood, because in many ways we cannot soberly relate ourselves to an already established person, as a result of which children and adolescents are hard to bear defeats, and self-confidence can be lost for several years.
Consider your capabilities when evaluating the solution to a life problem. In order not to be disappointed in yourself once again, you should not sometimes impose on yourself more than you can actually take. Try to take on things that are real. For example, it is silly to plan to become a dollar millionaire in a month, if today you don’t earn even one thousand, and you don’t have a plan as such either. The more often you call on common sense to make a decision, the less you will find yourself in situations that turned out to be too tough for you. Often, self-confidence disappears after numerous defeats, and vice versa, it can manifest itself after several victories, it follows that, in order to cheer yourself up and believe in your strength, sometimes it is enough to get a few, albeit small, but victories.
Someone else's opinion affects self-confidence. Man is a creature that lives in a flock (society), he cannot live without him. Therefore, for each of us, the opinion of society has a certain value. Sometimes someone else's opinion becomes more important than even your own. As a result of this, every phrase spoken to a person is capable of changing him, and vile people use this, throwing offensive words and as a result: not just anger at the offender arises, but disappointment in oneself, faith in one’s beauty, quick wit, mind, etc. .P. If you are also dependent on someone else's opinion, then you will never be able to believe in yourself and your strength!
If you want to believe in yourself, consult with authorities. You will not be able to completely get rid of someone else's influence, and there is no need for this as such, because you need to remain a partially trusting person, but you only need to trust people who are authorities for you in this or that matter. However, do not create for yourself an idol who understands everything. Each person is capable of being an expert in two or three areas, no more. If he gives advice, already going beyond his knowledge, then it is no longer necessary to listen to them. So, if an authoritative person declares that you are really good at what you do, and everyone else (friends, acquaintances and relatives) has the opposite opinion, then it is better to listen to an independent expert.
Learn to prioritize correctly. Not in all cases you should be the best, and even more so, not all tasks require your decision. It is very important to understand what plays a dominant role in your life, what is secondary, and what does not matter at all. We often try to solve a lot of things at the same time, thus taking on an overwhelming burden, and instead of solved problems, we have a lot of failures that depress us. But the worst thing in these situations is that we manage to saddle up unnecessary things, while important ones remain unresolved, as a result we have a bad mood, low self-esteem and lost faith in ourselves.
Communicate more often with successful and positive people. As we mentioned above, each person requires social activity, one of the manifestations of this very activity is communication, the emotional consciousness of a person directly depends on it. If we communicate with evil, envious and generally negatively inclined people, then no matter how much we would like it, we ourselves will begin to become the same. Therefore, if you do not want this, but rather strive for success and acceptance of faith in yourself, then, first of all, you need to change your environment. Try to spend more time with people who are successful and set up for an active life position.
Avoid stress. Stress is a very insidious state for a person, since on the one hand, it is an emotional state that is common for every person to experience. However, on the other hand, it has an extremely negative effect, in case of illness or depression. Let's take our example. A person who already has low self-esteem does not believe in himself, and then a stressful situation occurs that can bring a person to a nervous breakdown, after which a number of human health problems will appear.
Lead a healthy lifestyle. A healthy person, as a rule, does not experience problems with self-confidence, since he always has a “fresh head”, which allows him to take a sober look at things and the world around him. He does not panic from defeats, but perceives them as another life experience, which will later come in handy for similar situations. After all, only those who do nothing do not make mistakes.
We wish you to always believe in yourself, your strength and always achieve your goals!
Magic is believing in yourself. And when you succeed, everything else succeeds. Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
If we begin to sift through the sieve of analysis all the useful qualities that we would like to have, we will see that faith in ourselves turns out to be a real gold nugget. You can be the smartest and most beautiful person, a strong athlete or a resourceful entrepreneur, but without faith in yourself, all these personality traits will never be able to fully manifest themselves.
We can say that faith in yourself is the foundation, the fertile ground on which the tree of your success grows, both in the professional sphere and in your personal life. It is closely related to such concepts as self-esteem and self-respect, the foundations of which are laid in early childhood. However, this does not mean at all that we cannot develop them at a more mature age. In this article, we want to introduce you to some tricks that will help you believe in yourself.
1. Volunteering
We prefer not to think about it and not notice it. However, in any, even the most successful society, not to mention our open spaces, there are a huge number of people who need your help. Perhaps these are children from a shelter, a beggar on the street, a veteran in your porch, or even just a free blood donation.
Try to make someone's day a little better. Nothing boosts confidence and self-respect more than knowing that you are vital. Charity and volunteering can help not only other people in solving their problems, but also you personally to regain lost self-respect.
2. Make a list of wins
Are you banging your head against the wall and are you ready to give up in complete despair?
Try to make a list of your accomplishments. Surely you have had difficult situations in your life from which you emerged victorious, or victories that you can be proud of. Compiling such a list serves as a good psychological motivator that helps you believe in yourself and believe in yourself.
3. Surround yourself with people who believe in you.
If in your environment people who constantly criticize and humiliate you play the first violin, then it is not at all surprising that you cannot take off. Not so long ago we already wrote about and what role they can play in your life.
Try to remove such characters from your life or reduce communication with them to a minimum. Instead, find people with similar values and interests who will support and reinforce your progress. As a result, your self-confidence will receive multiple nourishment and protection.
4. Accept yourself
In order to believe in yourself, you must first accept yourself as you are. How can you believe in something that you cannot fully accept? If you don't have this, then it means that you are rejecting a part of yourself, perhaps even hating some of your qualities. You can't believe what you don't love. Therefore, you have no other way to gain self-respect, how to love yourself completely and without a trace, with all your advantages and disadvantages.
5. Change the angle of view
Stop focusing on the imperfections and resentments in your life. Instead, focus on what is good and interesting around you, thanking fate for it. Every time you feel like complaining about difficulties and injustices, try to find at least a fraction of the positive in the situation and it turns out that there is no problem at all. If fate feeds you solid lemons, then look for a way to make lemonade out of them.
6. Turn-based wins
It is absolutely impossible to start believing in yourself if you constantly fail in your endeavors. Perhaps life really throws too difficult tasks at you, perhaps you do not assess your strengths well enough.
In this case, it is worth trying to independently determine for yourself a clearly realistic and achievable goal. Start small but doable. It is better to move forward on the road of modest victories than to count the bumps every time after deafening falls.
7. Study yourself
Francis Bacon said that "knowledge is power." And he was undoubtedly right. If you can't deal with a problem, then you are learning all the information that can help you solve it. If you cannot cope with yourself, then you must first study yourself.
Reading psychological and motivational literature, seminars, courses, practical classes on personal growth can help you find the support that you lack in life. Learn, explore, think. Knowing how the world works and how people work will help you find peace and confidence in life.
8. Live your goals
Try to make an inventory of the goals that you face for a year, for five years, in general in life. Rate each one. Is this really your goal or just a picture from a fashion magazine stuck in your mind? Do you really want this or is it a goal imposed on you by your half, boss, environment? Maybe instead of traveling to tropical islands, deep down in your heart, you most of all want to close in your office and write a super program or a novel? Or, on the contrary, is it time to drop everything and change your corporate tie for a bungalow overlooking the ocean?
You can start to believe in yourself only if you are completely honest with yourself and begin to live your life. You can't waste your life to fulfill other people's desires and respect yourself at the same time.
9. Stop comparing yourself to others
Your looks, accomplishments, profits, success, and everything else should never be compared to others. Everyone has their own path, their own goals and their own achievements. Don't waste your time, emotions and energy in racing with others, otherwise your whole life will be spent in the shoes of a racehorse driven by the whip of vanity and the spurs of ambition.
Self-confidence is essential for every person. She, like a guiding star, helps to move through life without looking back at the voices of spiteful critics, without going astray in the turmoil of false goals and without stumbling over failures and problems. Good luck on your journey!
How to believe in yourself? The urgency of the problem of how to believe in yourself and your strengths appears when a person has already faced a number of failures or he has to accomplish a task that is of extreme personal significance for him. And if an objective vision of one’s failures should prompt one to analyze one’s actions, reorient actions or improve one’s skills, then in the event of the great importance of the future, one will have to work exclusively with internal settings. First of all, a person needs to figure out why some business has received super-significance in his system. It is unlikely that the question of how to make yourself believe in yourself before an important interview does not arise for those who see it only as a conversation, but if you add the desire to become worthy in the eyes of your partner, justify parental expectations, the absence of other prospects, then the importance of the interview takes off at times .
Understanding the reason for high significance can help separate the task itself from the expectations imposed on it from above and enable the recognition of one's family to earn differently. It is worth studying the issue and looking at examples of successful fulfillment of the desired by other people who have the same starting positions or other basic conditions - here you can learn a lot and in reality see that there is nothing sky-high in the goal, just as nothing critical happened to people when achievement.
The scale of the task, which simply crushes a person with its weight, can give rise to disbelief in one's own strengths (living in a rented odnushka, making plans for your own erected castle can seriously shake conceit and faith). Break large tasks and long-term plans into small ones (not so destructive for the ego), develop a certain algorithm of action - this seriously calms and inspires confidence, adds strength. When you look at a list of several tasks, see the prescribed moves in case of a turn, then the whole event ceases to seem impossible. It is this purely practical approach that often turns out to be much more effective than various affirmations and other techniques, since it reinforces your strengths with actions, you see real changes in what is happening, although the same change mechanisms are involved, just in one case you inspire yourself how cool you are, and in the other you optimize the problem and reduce the scale of its impact.
How to believe in yourself when you give up
Belief in oneself can slip away from time to time due to various factors: criticism of others, another failed attempt to realize what was planned, a series of bad luck or an overestimated significance of what is happening. But there are situations when the hands dropped and everything that comes to mind concerns only how to quit everything, and not how to believe in yourself and your strength, because objectively there is no strength left. Depressive and apathetic states, moments of crisis suck out all reserves from the energy reservoir, leaving no opportunity to move on. Often the problem is not solved for so long that there is no strength to continue, but there is also no resource left for leaving. It's all about rethinking and finding motivation. It is the presence and for each action that gives a person new opportunities, energizes and turns on other ways of achieving.
It will take a soul-searching to find out if your hard work is still your true goal. All goals set must be periodically reviewed and adjusted so as not to go astray. Well, what's the point of investing in a relationship where they cheat on you because of the purpose of a future marriage? What is the point of continuing to draw up a methodology for a project that has not been launched for a year, but continues to require development from you? Why go to visit those who have long ceased to be your friend? It is easier to choose a goal once, but only when it ceases to correspond to your changed internal settings, energy will not be supplied to achieve it. Yours will begin to choose erroneous strategies, launch various somatic diseases and in other ways prevent what is no longer your true desire from being realized.
Try to consider your life globally and as widely as possible, seeing all the relationships that exist on this moment, imagine the future. Such an analysis helps in understanding how much the goal that you are striving for and trying to raise yours from scratch will please you when realized. Look for a large-scale meaning of your life, and not short-term stages of satisfaction, after achievement, which are covered by emptiness and hopelessness. When you are guided by such a lifestyle, it turns on over time, which does not allow you to achieve the chosen one, because after achievement they do not expect joy, emptiness and meaninglessness awaits, and while you are endlessly pounding in attempts to achieve, life seems to be filled with meaning. Therefore, it is necessary to distinguish between meanings, values and goals: the first makes you live and feel the energy, the second sets the choice of ways of implementation, and the third shows the direction.
When you review your life, this does not give a quick result, so it would be good to have the support of loved ones at this stage. In principle, this is a great strategy when you can’t cope, and sometimes it’s the delegation of part of the responsibilities that allows you to breathe new life into a frozen event.
Exclude all negativity from your field of vision, stop at least for a while to communicate with people who do not believe in you and your success. Take risks and loudly declare your desires, because realization is possible somewhere very close. If you are looking for a job - tell everyone, even strangers, but pleasant people, if you are confused in search of the right product, then start looking in places and countries where you have not appeared before or whom for some reason you were afraid to trust. Such risky experiments often give a positive result, because if you didn’t find something, didn’t get it, didn’t finish it with those and where you are now, it might be worth changing the external scenery.
How to Believe in Yourself and Gain Confidence
How a person can believe in himself and gain confidence are questions that stand side by side, but are not synonymous. Belief in oneself is made up of an attitude towards a possible future, a positive assessment of the possibilities in the implementation of the plan, while confidence adds to this list the general realization, since these are not theoretical concepts, but the direct practice of life (if you are full of plans and developments, but do not implement them in any way). reality, then the amount of faith will only decrease).
Formulate your qualities as honestly as possible - accepting your different sides gives you confidence in managing your life, because having such information, you will remove doubts about whether you can or not, but you can definitely be responsible for the result or not get down to business, identify unknown areas where you can't predict the outcome. Recognition of their shortcomings allows them to be used, and in any professional community, those who clearly understand the limits of their competence are more valued than those who grasp at everything and present themselves as omnipotent. It is important not to indulge in self-criticism, a simple recognition and acceptance is enough, all shortcomings should be treated with patience. Instead of criticizing yourself, praise yourself, even for small achievements or progress towards success, such as forgoing an unhealthy lunch in favor of a balanced one.
Set only a few goals at a time - it is their implementation that will fill you with the feeling that you will cope with the subsequent ones. A huge number of plans that are included in the diary load the nervous system. The more often and more symbolic ticks about what you have achieved, the stronger your faith in your abilities will become, which is facilitated by setting a small number of goals at a time.
Reexamine the beliefs that limit you, you may immediately label something as "impossible" or "not mine." Question all the thoughts, statements and opinions you meet along the way - your own estimates of the achievability of the goal, the verdict made about your abilities by other people, the assessment of experts and statistics on this issue. These are the factors that give a logical, but not always correct analysis, since the situation can unfold in absolutely unimaginable ways, and where most took years, you may be lucky to slip through in a month.
How to help people believe in themselves
Helping a person may not always be in the nature of solving his problems or direct participation in this. There is a huge range of situations where interference in a person's life with its active actions only creates the appearance of help, but in reality causes harm. So, out of sympathy, you can do lessons for the child, making it easier for him in the evening, but in the end he will not get development, you can take care of your loved ones, while depriving them of their independence, a husband can completely take care of the family, depriving his wife of choice - you can list endlessly. If you see that a person refuses to realize something because of thoughts that it is difficult or he is unworthy, then you do not need to offer him something ready, but it is better to help, becoming confident, to achieve everything on your own. At that moment, when you do everything for him, you seem to confirm his disbelief in his own strength, and then doubts take on a stable form.
To help a person believe in himself, you need to leave pity and evaluation, attempts at moralizing in the background. Focus on support, which can manifest itself in completely different ways - you can make it clear that you are always there and agree to any offer, show the importance of someone else's opinion by asking for advice, show interest in the ideas expressed. Such methods are not aggressive, but create a background of their own necessity and importance, sharing the same values, which further pushes for a broader idea of what was conceived. But support does not always look like passive contemplation and agreement, and if you feel the energy of your friend, then it is quite possible to act actively and with pressure, pulling you to new places, introducing useful people, providing thrills. For many, such a shake-up is useful as an indicator that the world around is alive and interesting, and if you start interacting with it, it responds with joy. In addition, if the person has any illogical beliefs about what is happening, then you minimize their impact by taking on the organization of the first step, which is just the most scary (remember, dating and interviews are more scary than dating and work).
When you communicate with a person who has lost faith in himself, avoid comparisons, even with the aim of supporting and showing how much better he is, because by doing so you start the comparison mechanism itself, which is contraindicated in this state. Try to talk about his qualities from yourself (“I like your dress”, “we had fun today”, “you painted a beautiful picture”). Your praise should not look like flattery or take on hypertrophied forms, the very sensitive psyche of a person who has lost faith will quickly react to falsehood, so really say what you think, while criticism can also and even needs to be submitted, the main thing is to choose the right form that helps a person take advantage of your weaknesses.
How to Believe in Yourself and Succeed
Success is based on faith in the chosen business, the direction, the people around you and yourself, and this long path begins precisely from the last point. How a person can believe in himself before a new business or if there is not a single real fact of achievement in life yet, is not such a difficult question, since this quality is acquired in the process of activity, and not with the accumulation of accomplishments. Even if a lot has been achieved, a person may still not feel confident because he has not done anything for a long time, and vice versa, very active people achieve stunning success.
In order for strength and faith to appear, a goal is needed, a final point, for the sake of which the whole movement is started in general. Without defining a goal, it is impossible to assess our abilities, because without knowing about the upcoming actions, we cannot assess our abilities, readiness and guarantee that we will cope. The goal should be chosen not from common and fashionable trends, but from your dreams. Wherever you go should bring you overwhelming pleasure, let it be a dream that comes from meditation, and then its realization itself will give you pleasure. But setting such goals for a project that is important to your bosses or a diamond ring that has become popular with your girlfriends is not the best option - when your eyes do not burn, actions and motivation go away instantly. In order for everything planned to happen as smoothly as possible at the formulation stage, it is worth making the entire achievement algorithm transparent and understandable, and the more detailed it is, the higher your level of calmness. You don't need to know everything about your project, but knowing where you need advice or help from other people reduces anxiety and again determines your activity.
A beautiful and coherent plan will help minimize the impact of anxiety on your state, but only its presence does not bring you closer to success and does not give confidence - you need to act. Act in accordance with the chosen concept without violating your internal attitudes, because if you perform actions that contradict your inner meaning of life, then confidence will settle that your actions are incorrect and erroneous. It is important to monitor the correspondence of the external to the internal, and keep moving, even if it is not a sharp momentary jerk, but a constant movement.
When you have begun to actively move towards success, you should take care of supporting motivation by fixing the successes you have achieved: check the boxes next to the completed items, keep a diary of positive achievements, take pictures of your successes. This is very important, because over time, most of the efforts made will slowly begin to fade from memory, you may get the feeling that you are not moving towards the result, then reviewing the achievements, estimating in percentage how much the path has been traveled will not only not allow turning back, but will reinforce confidence.
Remove people who do not believe in the success of your event. Even small but methodical remarks, discounts, and suggestions to change the task over time can kill your own faith in success and make you stop right before the finish line. Criticize their statements, if you see that a dialogue is possible, then in a dialogue - this way you will get an expanded picture and notice some details that eluded you before you can minimize losses. Remember that you are communicating to take advantage of his ability to see difficulties and develop options for overcoming them in advance.
When critical voices are not outside, but inside, then these are internalized assessments from childhood (careless comments by educators, parents and ordinary passers-by), which are firmly entrenched in perception and, by their influence, hinder development in a new quality. You can track these manifestations, remember who in your life they belonged to and compare with reality, making sure that this is not the case now, or you can use the professional help of a psychologist to work through such problems, which will speed up the process.
