There have always been enough controversial military decisions, difficult situations and curiosities in the armed forces of Western states. Speaking about what military pranks, oversights of the relevant authorities and a gross violation of safety regulations could turn into, most experts agree that many of the emergencies ended safely only thanks to ordinary luck.

Saboteur John McCain

The Republican American Senator John McCain, before sitting in a comfortable chair of a senator and criticizing everyone and everything, managed to do so many things that it is hard to believe that there are so many problems in the life of one, very specific person. McCain began to do great things at the US Naval Academy - during his studies, the young cadet was reprimanded more than a hundred times by the leadership.

Among the faults of McCain were numerous violations of the Charter, violation of military discipline and internal regulations, rudeness and hazing with commanders. The connections and influence of relatives helped McCain avoid harsh punishment - John's father and grandfather built a brilliant career and rose to the ranks of admirals.

However, the descendant of the military did not achieve much success and graduated from the Naval Academy among the first from the bottom of the list in terms of academic performance. McCain crashes his first multi-million dollar aircraft while serving in Texas. The commission investigating the incident came to the unequivocal conclusion that the pilot's unprofessionalism was to blame, however, the admiral's son with a large number of stars on shoulder straps with brilliance escapes punishment and is transferred to serve out of harm's way - to Europe.

But even here McCain is unlucky - in one of the flights, the valiant knight of the Stars and Stripes Air Force managed to “unwind” a fighter by clinging to a power line support. And again luck - he himself was not injured, he did not bear responsibility. However, the most interesting page in the biography of John McCain is his service on the aircraft carrier Forrestal. The blame for the incident, due to which the aircraft carrier was put out of action for a long time, is attributed by many military historians to our hero. “Officially, of course, a technical malfunction was called the cause of the explosion,” explains military historian Boris Litvinov.

“Despite the fact that the Phantom fired a rocket due to a power surge, the explosion of which caused serious damage, many sources claim that McCain was involved in this, however, the father’s authority again did its job,” he added.

According to historians, McCain could rightly be awarded the star of the Hero of the USSR, because in his entire career as a pilot, an American professional destroyed more than 25 aircraft.

Submarine that sank itself

With submarines - ingenious structures designed to hunt for the enemy in the vast oceans, dangerous, but no less strange incidents often happen. Experienced submarine officers with a dozen military campaigns behind them still cannot believe in the reality of what happened, but “you can’t throw out a word from a song.” The American submarine "Tang" with one of the most experienced crews at the end of the 44th year was hunting for Japanese ships in the Pacific Ocean.

The fifth military campaign was quite successful - a couple of days before the events that will be discussed, the Teng submarine destroyed five enemy ships. After the last approach to the target, the crew remained at the disposal of a fully serviceable submarine, and one torpedo remained unused for its intended purpose in the torpedo tube. It was decided to use it to attack the surviving escort ship, which during the previous run could not be sunk.

Having taken a convenient position for the salvo of the remaining torpedo, the commander gives the order to open fire. After some time, the observer, who was on the bridge with the captain of the submarine, reported that he clearly saw the trail of a torpedo heading strictly to the left side of the submarine. The captain of the submarine, an experienced sailor Richard O'Kane, realizing the seriousness of the situation, gives the order to evade the torpedo and go to the right at full speed.

“The captain was most surprised when he realized that the torpedo was not going in a straight line, as all torpedoes do, but in a “big arc,” explains retired Navy officer Alexei Ovechkin.

Despite all possible measures to prevent a collision with a torpedo and detect a launch point, it was not possible to avoid meeting with ammunition - the torpedo flew into the stern of the Tenga.

The whole drama of the situation with the American submarine lay in the fact that Captain O "Kane, realizing in which direction the situation was unfolding, gave the order to batten down the hatch in the wheelhouse. This decision simultaneously saved those who were on the bridge and greatly complicated the survival of those who The captain and several crew members who were on the bridge, thrown out by the explosion, turned out to be the most successful - the rest of the crew had to fight for their lives, getting out of the sinking submarine.

After all the survivors of the mysterious torpedo attack and those who rose to the surface of the water were picked up by Japanese ships, the fate of the American submariners was captured. Only in 1945, after the prisoner of war camp in Japanese Omori was liberated by American troops, was it possible to find out the true reason for the sudden appearance of an enemy torpedo. To the surprise of the Americans themselves, there was no enemy in the area - the Tang caught up with the very last torpedo. After leaving the torpedo tube, the torpedo moved in a given direction for some time, but then its steering mechanism was somehow damaged and the American torpedo entered the “tail” of the submarine along the “large arc”, from which it was fired.

Aegis didn't help.

Tragic torpedo failures, a missile explosion on the USS Forrestal are just some of the troubles that have befallen the US Navy. One of the most serious and most embarrassing incidents for the US military is the test of a low-flying missile interception system. The BQM-74 subsonic target missile fired at a US Navy destroyer to test the reliability of the anti-missile system has done its job. Despite the fact that the anti-missile system in the United States is paying increased attention, the vulnerability of ships to missiles approaching the ship at a height of several meters above the water turned out to be obvious.

Naval artillery and the AEGIS combat information control system detected target missiles and even managed to issue a command to the systems to fire, but they could not intercept the “blank” flying at subsonic speed. The fact that the crew of the destroyer knew in advance what actions should be taken in such a situation adds color to the emergency with the American destroyer, and indeed, the very nature of the exercises was clearly demonstrative.

However, as often happens, everything went wrong, and eventually a remotely controlled target missile crashed through the side of the ship, seriously injuring two sailors in the process. Experts explain that if this happened in combat conditions, the ship would be guaranteed to sink, especially considering the fact that many anti-ship missiles in the final flight section accelerate significantly more than the speed of sound. The scandalous incident during the exercises not only put the American destroyer Chancellorsville out of action for several months, but also gave rise to a whole host of rumors about the inability of American ships to fend for themselves in case of danger.

The US Navy specialists subsequently developed a whole program to modernize the ship's electronic systems, aimed at increasing the response speed of the ship's anti-missile system, however, as experts explain, if the ship's CICS could not cope with one missile, the launch of which everyone knew in advance, then in combat conditions, when a destroyer can be attacked by a whole flock of cruise missiles, the chances of survival of a huge ship and the entire crew would be zero.

T ri unique cases that seem incredible...

1. About Russian ingenuity.
It was 1941. Our KV-1 tank stopped due to troubles in the engine in the neutral zone. It simply stalled, and the battery was not allowed to start. Unfortunately, the shells and cartridges ran out, and the Germans were still unafraid and arrogant.

The crew decided to play dead... and barricaded themselves inside. Fortunately, German field artillery shells and tanks could not penetrate the KV-1 armor.

The Germans knocked on the armor of the stalled KV-1 for a long time, offered the crew to show themselves, promised to feed and treat them well, but they didn’t. The crew of our tank in this particular case, most likely suspected how it would all end. And he knew that it was not so easy to smoke them out of the tank.

The Nazis waited for their equipment and tried to tow the tank closer to the repair parts. Apparently they decided that the crew left the tank, somehow closing the hatches. And the stop happened because. the tank ran out of fuel (the most common reason for stopping the KV-1). The Nazis hooked the KV with their tractor, but they could not move the colossus. Then they hooked it with two of their light tanks in order to tow the KV-1 to their location, even with the crew ... and open it without obstacles.

But their calculation did not work - when they started towing, our tank started up from the "pusher" and famously pulled the German tanks now to our location ...
The German tankers were forced to leave their tanks and KV-1 without any problems, and pulled them to our positions ...))))) Such an amusing curiosity!

The tank was very successful in combat and not very good in running. It was distinguished by high survivability, especially in the summer. As I already wrote, the armor of these heavy tanks was not penetrated either by German anti-tank guns of 37 mm caliber, or by the guns of the Pz-III, Pz-IV and Pz-38 tanks, which were in service with the Panzerwaffe.

The Germans could only "take it off" - take off the caterpillar with a direct hit. But there were cases when the KV-1 could move without one of them.

The big problem of the tank was the engine, rather weak for such a colossus. Any pothole forced him to work at maximum speed. The crew needed an experienced mechanic-driver. The batteries were also weak. The tank was put into service practically without sea trials, after a couple of successful episodes during the Finnish war, on flat areas with rocky ground. But in everything related to the "combat unit" he was very good!

The Germans had to use a method of fighting against the KV, very similar to the hunt of primitive people for a mammoth. Some German tanks diverted the attention of the KV crew until an 88-mm anti-aircraft gun was installed behind it.

Only by hitting a shell in the gap between the hull and the turret could it be possible to jam the turret and thereby finally turn the Soviet tank into a dead block. There is a known case when about ten German tanks were engaged in distracting the KV crew!
At the beginning of the war, one KV-1 tank could make a lot of noise not only in the rear of the enemy, but also on the front line. There would be fuel and ammunition.

2. Shooting a fascist column without hiding in an ambush.

O writing a feat from the award list (spelling and punctuation preserved):

On July 13, 1942, in the district of N-MITYAKINSKOE 2nd, the KV tank of lieutenant KONOVALOV stood due to a malfunction after the battle. The crew restored the tank on their own. At this time, 2 German armored vehicles appeared. Tov. KONOVALOV immediately opened fire and 1 car was set on fire, the second hastily disappeared. Following the armored vehicles, a moving column of tanks appeared, first 35 vehicles, and then 40 more. The avenue was advancing towards the village. Lieutenant KONOVALOV, using the advantageous position of his camouflaged tank, decided to take the fight. Having let the first column of tanks to a distance of 500-600 meters, the KV crew opened fire. Direct fire destroyed 4 tanks. The column of pr-ka did not accept the battle, returned back. But after some time, the village was attacked by 55 tanks of the pr-ka in a deployed formation. Lieutenant KONOVALOV decided to continue the fight against the armored vehicles of the Nazi invaders, despite such an overwhelming superiority. The heroic crew set fire to 6 more tanks of the pr-ka and forced it to roll back a second time. The enemy makes a third attack. Tank heroes, led by their Komsomol commander comrade. KONOVALOV, firing at tanks and vehicles, right up to the last shell. They destroy 6 more enemy tanks, 1 armored vehicle and 8 vehicles with enemy soldiers and officers. The Soviet fortress falls silent. The Nazis open fire from a 105mm gun, which is pulled up to the tank at a distance of 75 meters. The crew of the tank with the Hero-Commander Lieutenant KONOVALOV, together with the tank, died in this unequal battle. Defending our Motherland from the German invaders, Lieutenant KONOVALOV showed courage, unshakable steadfastness, selfless heroism. For the heroism shown in the defense of the Motherland, comrade. KONOVALOV is worthy of the posthumous award of the title "HERO OF THE SOVIET UNION" with the award of the Order of LENIN and the "GOLD STAR" medal.Source with documents http://2w.su/memory/970

ETERNAL MEMORY TO HEROES!

Unfortunately, the Soviet army in 1941 did not have enough KV tanks to stop the Wehrmacht's rapid advance into the interior of the country. The Germans respected Soviet heavy tanks. They did not blow up tanks in good condition, but slightly modernized them, painted crosses on them, transplanted their crew and sent them into battle, only now for Germany.
Here are the photo facts...

Modernized captured Soviet tank KV-1 from the 204th tank regiment of the 22nd Wehrmacht tank division.

The Germans installed a German 75 mm KwK 40 L/48 cannon instead of a 76.2 mm cannon, as well as a commander's cupola. Shooting time 1943.

According to German data, out of the 28,000 tanks available in the Red Army units before the start of the war, more than 14,079 tanks were lost in two months of hostilities by August 22, 1941. A significant part of these vehicles was lost during the fighting or was destroyed during the retreat, but a huge amount of equipment was abandoned in serviceable parks, on marches due to lack of fuel or left due to malfunctions, many of which could be fixed in a short time.

According to some reports, in the initial period of the war, the Germans got up to 1100 T-26 tanks in good condition, about 500 BT tanks (of all modifications), more than 40 T-28 tanks and more than 150 T-34 and KV tanks.

Tanks captured in good condition were used by the units that captured them and usually served until they were completely out of action.

3rd promised CASE! TOTALLY KILLER
(memoirs of a German colonel general Erhard Routh)

The 6th Panzer Division of the Wehrmacht was part of the 41st Panzer Corps. Together with the 56th Panzer Corps, it formed the 4th Panzer Group, the main striking force of Army Group North, whose task was to capture the Baltic states, capture Leningrad and join with the Finns. The 6th Division was commanded by Major General Franz Landgraf. It was armed mainly with Czechoslovak-made PzKw-35t tanks - light, with thin armor, but with high maneuverability and maneuverability. There were a number of more powerful PzKw-IIIs and PzKw-IVs. Before the start of the offensive, the division was divided into two tactical groups. The more powerful was commanded by Colonel Erhard Raus, the weaker by Lieutenant Colonel Erich von Seckendorf.

In the first two days of the war, the offensive of the division was successful. By the evening of June 23, the division captured the Lithuanian city of Raseiniai and crossed the Dubyssa River. The tasks assigned to the division were completed, but the Germans, who already had experience of campaigns in the west, were unpleasantly struck by the stubborn resistance of the Soviet troops. One of Routh's units came under fire from snipers positioned in the fruit trees in the meadow. The snipers killed several German officers, delayed the advance of the German units for almost an hour, preventing them from quickly encircling the Soviet units. The snipers were obviously doomed because they were inside the location of the German troops. But they completed the task to the end. In the west, the Germans did not meet anything like this.

How the only KV-1 ended up in the rear of the Routh group on the morning of June 24 is unclear. It's possible that he just got lost. However, in the end, the tank blocked the only road leading from the rear to the positions of the group.

This episode was described not by full-time communist propagandists, but by Erhard Raus himself. Raus then won the entire war on the Eastern Front, passing through Moscow, Stalingrad and Kursk, and finished it as commander of the 3rd Panzer Army and with the rank of colonel general. Of the 427 pages of his memoirs, which directly describe the fighting, 12 are devoted to a two-day battle with the only Russian tank at Raseiniai. Routh was clearly shaken by this tank. Therefore, there is no reason for distrust. Soviet historiography ignored this episode. Moreover, since for the first time in the domestic press he was mentioned by Suvorov-Rezun, some "patriots" began to "expose" the feat. In the sense - this is not a feat, but so-so.

The KV, with a crew of 4, "exchanged" itself for 12 trucks, 4 anti-tank guns, 1 anti-aircraft gun, possibly for several tanks, as well as several dozen Germans killed and died from wounds. This in itself is an outstanding result, given the fact that until 1945, in the vast majority of even victorious battles, our losses were higher than German ones. But these are only direct losses of the Germans. Indirect - the loss of the Seckendorf group, which, reflecting the Soviet strike, could not receive help from the Raus group.

Accordingly, for the same reason, the losses of our 2nd Panzer Division were less than if Raus had supported Seckendorf.

However, perhaps more important than the direct and indirect losses of people and equipment was the loss of time by the Germans. On June 22, 1941, the Wehrmacht had only 17 tank divisions on the entire Eastern Front, including 4 tank divisions in the 4th Panzer Group. One of them was held by KV alone. Moreover, on June 25, the 6th division could not advance solely because of the presence of a single tank in its rear. One day of delay by one division is a lot in conditions when German tank groups were advancing at a high pace, tearing apart the defenses of the Red Army and arranging for it a lot of "cauldrons". After all, the Wehrmacht actually completed the task set by Barbarossa, almost completely destroying the Red Army that opposed it in the summer of 1941. But due to such "incidents" as an unforeseen tank on the road, he did it much more slowly and with much greater losses than planned. And in the end he ran into the impenetrable mud of the Russian autumn, the deadly frosts of the Russian winter and the Siberian divisions near Moscow. After that, the war turned into a hopeless protracted stage for the Germans.

And yet the most surprising thing in this battle is the behavior of four tankers, whose names we do not know and will never know. They created more problems for the Germans than the entire 2nd Panzer Division, to which, apparently, the KV belonged. If the division delayed the German offensive for one day, then the only tank - for two. No wonder Raus had to take away anti-aircraft guns from Seckendorf, although, it would seem, it should have been the other way around.

It is almost impossible to assume that the tankers had a special task to block the only supply route for the Routh group. Intelligence at that moment was simply absent. So the tank ended up on the road by accident. The tank commander himself realized what an important position he had taken. And deliberately began to hold her. It is unlikely that the tank standing in one place can be interpreted as a lack of initiative, the crew acted too skillfully. On the contrary, standing was the initiative.

To sit without getting out in a cramped iron box for two days, and in the June heat, is torture in itself. If this box is also surrounded by the enemy, whose goal is to destroy the tank along with the crew (in addition, the tank is not one of the enemy’s targets, as in a “normal” battle, but the only target), for the crew this is already an absolutely incredible physical and psychological stress. And almost all this time the tankers spent not in battle, but in anticipation of the battle, which is morally incomparably harder.

All five combat episodes - the destruction of a convoy of trucks, the destruction of an anti-tank battery, the destruction of an anti-aircraft gun, firing at sappers, the last battle with tanks - in total they hardly even took an hour. The rest of the time, the KV crew wondered from which side and in what form they would be destroyed next time. The battle with anti-aircraft guns is especially indicative. The tankers deliberately hesitated until the Germans set up the cannon and began to prepare for firing - in order to shoot for sure and finish the job with one shell. Try to at least roughly imagine such an expectation.

Moreover, if on the first day the crew of the KV could still hope for the arrival of their own, then on the second, when their own did not come and even the noise of the battle at Raseinaya subsided, it became clearer than clear: the iron box in which they are fried for the second day will soon enough turn into their common coffin. They took it for granted and continued to fight.

Here is what Erhard Raus himself writes about this: “Nothing important happened in our sector. The troops improved their positions, reconnaissance in the direction of Siluva and on the east coast of Dubyssa in both directions, but mainly tried to find out what was happening on the south coast. We met only small units and individual soldiers. During this time, we established contact with the patrols of the battle group "von Seckendorf" and the 1st Panzer Division at Lidavenai. While clearing a wooded area west of the bridgehead, our infantry ran into a larger Russian force that was still holding out in two places on the western bank of the Dubyssa River.

In violation of accepted rules, several prisoners captured in recent battles, including one lieutenant of the Red Army, were sent to the rear on a truck guarded by only one non-commissioned officer. Halfway back to Raseinai, the driver suddenly saw an enemy tank on the road and stopped. At this moment, the Russian prisoners (and there were about 20 of them) suddenly attacked the driver and the escort. The non-commissioned officer was sitting next to the driver facing the prisoners when they tried to snatch the weapons from both of them. The Russian lieutenant had already grabbed the non-commissioned officer's machine gun, but he managed to free one hand and hit the Russian with all his might, throwing him back. The lieutenant collapsed and took a few more people with him. Before the prisoners could again rush at the non-commissioned officer, he freed his left hand, although he was held by three. Now he was completely free. With lightning speed, he tore the machine gun from his shoulder and fired a burst at the rebellious crowd. The effect was terrible. Only a few prisoners, not counting the wounded officer, managed to jump out of the car to hide in the forest. The car, in which there were no living prisoners, quickly turned around and rushed back to the bridgehead, although the tank fired at it.

This little drama was the first sign that the only road leading to our bridgehead was blocked by the KV-1 super-heavy tank. The Russian tank, in addition, managed to destroy the telephone wires connecting us with the division headquarters. Although the intentions of the enemy remained unclear, we began to fear an attack from the rear. I immediately ordered Lieutenant Wengenrot's 3rd Battery of the 41st Tank Destroyer Battalion to take up position in the rear near the flat top of a hill close to the 6th Motorized Brigade's command post, which also served as the command post for the entire battle group. In order to strengthen our anti-tank defenses, I had to turn 180 degrees to a nearby battery of 150-mm howitzers. The 3rd company of Lieutenant Gebhardt from the 57th sapper tank battalion received an order to mine the road and its surroundings. The tanks assigned to us (half of Major Shenk's 65th tank battalion) were located in the forest. They were ordered to be ready to counter-attack as soon as it was needed.
Time passed, but the enemy tank blocking the road did not move, although from time to time it fired in the direction of Raseinaya. At noon on June 24, the scouts returned, whom I sent to clarify the situation. They reported that, apart from this tank, they did not find any troops or equipment that could attack us. The officer in charge of this unit made the logical conclusion that this was a lone tank from the detachment that attacked the von Seckendorf battle group.

Although the danger of attack had dissipated, measures should have been taken to quickly destroy this dangerous obstacle, or at least drive the Russian tank away. With his fire, he has already set fire to 12 trucks with supplies that were coming towards us from Raseinaj. We could not evacuate the wounded in the battles for the bridgehead, and as a result, several people died without receiving medical care, including a young lieutenant who was wounded by a shot at point-blank range. If we could take them out, they would be saved. All attempts to bypass this tank were unsuccessful. The vehicles either got stuck in the mud or collided with scattered Russian units still wandering through the forest.

So I ordered Lieutenant Wengenrot's battery. recently received 50-mm anti-tank guns, make your way through the forest, approach the tank at an effective shooting distance and destroy it. The battery commander and his brave soldiers happily accepted this dangerous task and set to work with full confidence that it would not drag on for too long. From the command post at the top of the hill, we watched them as they carefully made their way through the trees from one hollow to another. We were not alone. Dozens of soldiers climbed onto the roofs and climbed the trees with intense attention, waiting for how the idea would end. We saw how the first gun came within 1,000 meters of a tank that was sticking out right in the middle of the road. Apparently, the Russians did not notice the threat. The second gun disappeared from view for some time, and then emerged from the ravine right in front of the tank and took up a well-camouflaged position. Another 30 minutes passed, and the last two guns also went to their original positions.

We watched what was happening from the top of the hill. Suddenly, someone suggested that the tank was damaged and abandoned by the crew, as it stood completely still on the road, representing an ideal target. (You can imagine the disappointment of our comrades, who, sweating for several hours, dragged the cannons to firing positions, if that were the case.) Suddenly, the first of our anti-tank guns rang out, a flash blinked, and the silvery track ran right into the tank. The distance did not exceed 600 meters. A ball of fire flashed, there was a jerky crack. Direct hit! Then came the second and third hits.

The officers and soldiers shouted with joy, like spectators at a merry spectacle. “Got it! Bravo! Done with the tank! The tank did not react in any way until our guns scored 8 hits. Then its turret turned around, carefully found its target and began methodically destroying our guns with single shots of 80-mm guns. Two of our 50 mm guns were blown to pieces, the other two were seriously damaged. The personnel lost several people killed and wounded. Lieutenant Wengenrot led the survivors back to avoid unnecessary losses. Only after nightfall did he manage to pull out the cannons. The Russian tank was still tightly blocking the road, so we were literally paralyzed. Deeply shocked, Lieutenant Wengenrot returned to the bridgehead with his soldiers. The newly obtained weapon, which he implicitly trusted, was completely helpless against the monstrous tank. A feeling of deep disappointment swept over our entire battle group.

It was necessary to find some new way to master the situation.

It was clear that of all our weapons, only 88 mm anti-aircraft guns with their heavy armor-piercing shells could cope with the destruction of the steel giant. In the afternoon, one such gun was withdrawn from the battle near Raseinay and began to crawl cautiously towards the tank from the south. The KV-1 was still deployed to the north, since it was from this direction that the previous attack had been carried out. The long-barreled anti-aircraft gun approached to a distance of 2000 yards, from which it was already possible to achieve satisfactory results. Unfortunately, the trucks that the monstrous tank had previously destroyed were still burning along the sides of the road, and their smoke prevented the gunners from aiming. But, on the other hand, the same smoke turned into a curtain, under the cover of which the gun could be pulled even closer to the target. Having tied a lot of branches to the gun for better camouflage, the gunners slowly rolled it forward, trying not to disturb the tank.

Finally, the crew got to the edge of the forest, from where visibility was excellent. The distance to the tank now did not exceed 500 meters. We thought that the very first shot would give a direct hit and would certainly destroy the tank that was interfering with us. The calculation began to prepare the gun for firing.

Although the tank had not moved since the battle with the anti-tank battery, it turned out that its crew and commander had iron nerves. They coolly followed the approach of the anti-aircraft gun, without interfering with it, since as long as the gun was moving, it did not pose any threat to the tank. In addition, the closer the anti-aircraft gun is, the easier it will be to destroy it. The critical moment in the duel of nerves arrived when the crew began to prepare the anti-aircraft gun for firing. It is time for the tank crew to act. While the gunners, terribly nervous, aimed and loaded the gun, the tank turned the turret and fired first! Each projectile hit the target. A heavily damaged anti-aircraft gun fell into a ditch, several crew members died, and the rest were forced to flee. The tank's machine-gun fire prevented the cannon from being taken out and the dead picked up.

The failure of this attempt, on which great hopes were placed, was very unpleasant news for us. The optimism of the soldiers died along with the 88-mm gun. Our soldiers did not have the best day, chewing canned food, since it was impossible to bring hot food.

However, the biggest fears disappeared, at least for a while. The Russian attack on Raseinai was repulsed by the von Seckendorf battle group, which managed to hold Hill 106. Now there was no longer any fear that the Soviet 2nd Panzer Division would break through to our rear and cut us off. All that remained was a painful thorn in the form of a tank blocking our only supply route. We decided that if we could not cope with him during the day, then at night we would do it. The brigade headquarters discussed various options for destroying the tank for several hours, and preparations began for several of them at once.

Our sappers proposed on the night of June 24/25 to simply blow up the tank. It should be said that the sappers, not without malevolent satisfaction, followed the unsuccessful attempts of the gunners to destroy the enemy. Now it was their turn to try their luck. When Lieutenant Gebhardt called for 12 volunteers, all 12 people raised their hands in unison. In order not to offend the rest, every tenth was chosen. These 12 lucky ones were looking forward to the approach of night. Lieutenant Gebhardt, who intended to personally command the operation, familiarized all the sappers in detail with the general plan of the operation and the personal task of each of them individually. After dark, the lieutenant at the head of a small column set off. The road ran east of Hill 123, across a small sandy patch to a line of trees where the tank was found, and then through sparse woods to the old staging area.

The pale light of the stars twinkling in the sky was enough to outline the outlines of the nearby trees, the road, and the tank. Trying not to make any noise so as not to give themselves away, the soldiers, who had taken off their shoes, got out to the side of the road and began to examine the tank at close range in order to outline the most convenient path. The Russian giant stood in the same place, his tower froze. Silence and peace reigned everywhere, only occasionally a flash flickered in the air, followed by a dull rumble. Occasionally an enemy shell hissed past and exploded near the crossroads north of Raseinaya. These were the last echoes of the heavy fighting that had been going on in the south all day. By midnight, artillery fire from both sides finally stopped.

Suddenly, in the forest on the other side of the road, there was a crash and footsteps. Ghostlike figures rushed towards the tank, shouting something as they ran. Is it the crew? Then there were blows on the tower, with a clang the hatch was thrown back and someone got out. Judging by the muffled chime, it was food. The scouts immediately reported this to Lieutenant Gebhardt, who began to be annoyed with questions: “Maybe rush at them and capture them? They appear to be civilians." The temptation was great, because it seemed very easy to do. However, the tank crew remained in the turret and stayed awake. Such an attack would alarm the tankers and could jeopardize the success of the entire operation. Lieutenant Gebhardt reluctantly rejected the offer. As a result, the sappers had to wait another hour for the civilians (or were they partisans?) to leave.
During this time, a thorough reconnaissance of the area was carried out. At 0100, the sappers began to act, as the tank crew fell asleep in the tower, unaware of the danger. After demolition charges were installed on the caterpillar and thick side armor, the sappers set fire to the fuse and fled. A few seconds later, a booming explosion broke the silence of the night. The task was completed, and the sappers decided that they had achieved a decisive success. However, before the echo of the explosion died out among the trees, the tank machine gun came to life, and bullets whistled around. The tank itself did not move. Probably, his caterpillar was killed, but it was not possible to find out, since the machine gun fired furiously all around. Lieutenant Gebhardt and his patrol returned to the bridgehead visibly depressed. Now they were no longer sure of success, moreover, it turned out that one person was missing. Attempts to find him in the dark led nowhere.

Shortly before dawn, we heard a second, weaker explosion somewhere near the tank, for which we could not find the cause. The tank machine gun came to life again and for several minutes poured lead all around. Then there was silence again.

Soon after that it began to get light. The rays of the morning sun dyed the forests and fields with gold. Thousands of dewdrops sparkled like diamonds on the grass and flowers, the early birds sang. The soldiers began to stretch and blink sleepily as they rose to their feet. A new day began.

The sun had not yet risen high when a barefoot soldier, slung his tied boots over his shoulder, marched past the brigade's command post. To his misfortune, it was I, the commander of the brigade, who first noticed him, and rudely called him to me. When the terrified traveler drew himself up in front of me, I demanded in intelligible language an explanation of his morning walk in such a strange way. Is he a follower of Father Kneipp? If yes, then this is not the place to demonstrate your hobbies. (Papa Kneipp created a back to nature society in the 19th century and preached physical health, cold baths, outdoor sleeping, and the like.)

Very frightened, the lone wanderer began to get confused and bleat indistinctly. Every word from this silent violator had to be pulled out literally with tongs. However, with each of his answers, my face brightened. Finally I patted him on the shoulder with a smile and shook his hand gratefully. To an outside observer who did not hear what was being said, such a development of events might seem extremely strange. What could a barefoot guy say that the attitude towards him changed so rapidly? I could not satisfy this curiosity until the order was given for the brigade for the current day with the report of the young sapper.

“I listened to the sentries and lay in a ditch next to a Russian tank. When everything was ready, together with the company commander, I hung a demolition charge, which was twice as heavy as the instruction required, to the tank track and lit the fuse. Since the ditch was deep enough to provide cover from shrapnel, I awaited the results of the explosion. However, after the explosion, the tank continued to shower the edge of the forest and the ditch with bullets. More than an hour passed before the enemy calmed down. Then I got close to the tank and examined the caterpillar in the place where the charge was installed. No more than half of its width was destroyed. I didn't notice any other damage.

When I returned to the rally point of the sabotage group, it had already left. While looking for my boots, which I had left there, I discovered another forgotten demolition charge. I took it and returned to the tank, climbed on the hull and hung the charge from the muzzle of the gun in the hope of damaging it. The charge was too small to cause serious damage to the machine itself. I crawled under the tank and blew it up.

After the explosion, the tank immediately fired at the edge of the forest and the ditch with a machine gun. The shooting did not stop until dawn, only then I managed to crawl out from under the tank. I sadly discovered that my charge was still too low. When I got to the collection point, I tried to put on my boots, but found that they were too small and not my pair at all. One of my comrades put mine on by mistake. As a result, I had to return barefoot, and I was late.”

It was the true story of a brave man. However, despite his efforts, the tank continued to block the road, firing at any moving object it saw. The fourth decision, which was born on the morning of June 25, was the call for dive bombers. Ju-87 to destroy the tank. However, we were refused, because planes were required literally everywhere. But even if they were found, it is unlikely that the dive bombers would be able to destroy the tank with a direct hit. We were sure that fragments of close gaps would not frighten the crew of the steel giant.

But now this damned tank had to be destroyed at all costs. The fighting power of our bridgehead garrison will be seriously undermined if the road cannot be opened. The division will not be able to fulfill the task assigned to it. Therefore, I decided to use the last means left to us, although this plan could lead to heavy losses in men, tanks and equipment, but it did not promise guaranteed success. However, my intentions were to mislead the enemy and help keep our losses to a minimum. We intended to divert the attention of the KV-1 with a feint attack from Major Shenk's tanks and bring the 88mm guns closer to destroy the terrible monster. The terrain around the Russian tank contributed to this. There it was possible to stealthily sneak up on the tank and set up observation posts in the wooded area of ​​the eastern road. Since the forest was rather sparse, our nimble PzKw-35t could move freely in all directions.

Soon the 65th tank battalion arrived and began firing at the Russian tank from three sides. The crew of the KV-1 began to noticeably get nervous. The tower spun from side to side, trying to catch the impudent German tanks on sight. The Russians fired at targets darting through the trees, but they were always late. The German tank appeared, but literally disappeared at the same moment. The crew of the KV-1 tank was confident in the strength of its armor, which resembled an elephant skin and reflected all projectiles, but the Russians wanted to destroy the enemies that vexed them, at the same time continuing to block the road.

Fortunately for us, the Russians were seized with excitement, and they stopped watching their rear, from where misfortune was approaching them. The anti-aircraft gun took up a position near the place where one of the same had already been destroyed the day before. Its formidable barrel aimed at the tank, and the first shot rang out. The wounded KV-1 tried to turn the turret back, but the anti-aircraft gunners managed to fire 2 more shots during this time. The turret stopped rotating, but the tank did not catch fire, although we expected it to. Although the enemy no longer reacted to our fire, after two days of failure we could not believe in success. 4 more shots were fired with armor-piercing shells from an 88-mm anti-aircraft gun, which ripped open the monster's skin. Its gun rose up helplessly, but the tank continued to stand on the road, which was no longer blocked.

Witnesses of this deadly duel wanted to get closer to check the results of their shooting. To their greatest amazement, they found that only 2 shells penetrated the armor, while the remaining 5 88-mm shells only made deep gouges in it. We also found 8 blue circles marking where 50mm shells hit. The result of the sappers' sortie was serious damage to the caterpillar and a shallow dent in the gun barrel. On the other hand, we did not find any traces of hits from 37-mm guns and PzKW-35t tanks. Driven by curiosity, our "Davids" climbed onto the fallen "Goliath" in a vain attempt to open the tower hatch. Despite his best efforts, his lid did not budge.

Suddenly, the barrel of the gun began to move, and our soldiers rushed away in horror. Only one of the sappers retained his composure and quickly pushed a hand grenade into the hole made by the projectile in the lower part of the tower. There was a dull explosion, and the manhole cover flew off to the side. Inside the tank lay the bodies of the brave crew, who until then had received only wounds. Deeply shocked by this heroism, we buried them with full military honors. They fought to the last breath, but it was only one small drama of the great war.

After the only heavy tank blocked the road for 2 days, it began to act. Our trucks delivered to the bridgehead the supplies needed for the subsequent offensive.

Info and photo (C) different places on the Internet

During the Great Patriotic War there were cases of Russian psychic attack. Here is how eyewitnesses tell about it: “The regiment rose to its full height. An accordion player walked from one flank, playing either the Vologda busts “Under the fight”, or the Tver “Buza”. Another harmonist walked from the other flank, playing the Ural “Mom”. young beautiful nurses walked to the center, waving handkerchiefs, and the whole regiment emitted the traditional lowing or croaking, which dancers usually emit when things are moving towards a fight, to intimidate the enemy.After such a psychic attack, the Germans could be taken in the trenches with their bare hands, they were on the verge of mental insanity.

History 1.
My grandfather fought from the first days of the war, finished it near Keninsberg.
The story that happened to my grandfather happened after another injury. Having received another bullet in the leg during the battle, the grandfather ended up in the hospital. Despite the level of medicine of that time, but thanks to the professionalism of military doctors (which the Russian army has always been famous for), the wound healed successfully, and my grandfather was going back to the front. And then one evening, after lights out, he felt a severe pain in the lower abdomen. I got out of bed and went to the doctor. And the doctor was an old Russian grandfather who healed, I suppose, back in the First World War. Grandfather complained to him of pain and asked for some pill. The doctor felt his stomach, climbed into his closet and took out a large bottle of alcohol. I took two glasses and filled them to the brim. "Drink," said the doctor. Grandpa drank. Another glass the doctor waved himself! "Lie down," the doctor commanded. Grandfather lay down on the table. From such an amount of alcohol drunk on an empty stomach (war!), the grandfather immediately passed out ... I woke up in the ward. No appendix. But with a headache .. These are the people who defeated fascism!

History 2.
My grandfather had a friend Misha, a terrible gouging, but at the same time an artillery lieutenant.
This friend commanded a volley fire machine (as it is now called) called "Katyusha". It’s good, whether he commanded badly, but the machine ran, dutifully scuffed at the Germans.
It was the summer of 1942. A Katyusha division was relocated near Stalingrad, one of the cars on the road simply died out (the car industry is the car industry - both in 1942 and in 2010). They dug, repaired, as best they could, with improvised means. Rolled, of course for a successful repair. Well, they drove to catch up with their own. According to the Russian authenticity of the maps, of course, they got lost ...
The steppe, the road is not clear where, and then suddenly they see a column of dust in the steppe. They slow down. Binoculars to the eyes - a German tank column. Rushing - like at home - brazenly, as in a parade, over the tower hatches, the sleek muzzles of the Fritz.
Uncle Misha, either out of fright, or out of arrogance after alcohol, turns the car with the front wheels into a ditch ("Katyusha" is a terrible weapon, but the aiming is almost zero, and it only hits with a canopy in squares) and almost direct fire gives a volley. They set fire to the first rows - the Germans are in a panic. Such a hit -8 tanks in a junk moment ..
Well, "Katyusha" on the sly - "my legs are my legs" ... They gave Uncle Misha the Hero (the crew - Glory), but they just took him away immediately for being late from vacation to the train for 20 minutes (immediately after the award, well, they didn’t write down in the penalty box ). The special officer turned out to be a bastard, the echelon stood in Moscow for another day. It looks like a fairy tale, but General Paulus stopped the offensive for a day. These days, German intelligence frantically searched for the positions of our troops. Well, they could not believe in one - the only "Katyusha", which shot back from a drunken fright ...

History 3.
Once, one Soviet unit on the march went too far ahead, and the field kitchen was left somewhere behind. The commander of the unit sends two Kyrgyz soldiers to find her - they don’t speak Russian, there’s little use in battle, in short, bring it, give it. They left, and no news from them for two days. Finally, they arrive with backpacks stuffed with German sweets, schnapps, and the like. One of them has a note. Written (in Russian): "Comrade Stalin! For us they are not languages, but for you they are not soldiers. Send them home."

History 4.
In August 1941, in the Daugavpils region, Ivan Sereda was preparing dinner for the Red Army. At this time, he saw a German tank moving towards the field kitchen. Armed only with a carbine and an ax, Ivan Sereda hid behind her, and the tank, having driven up to the kitchen, stopped and the crew began to get out of it. At that moment, Ivan Sereda jumped out from behind the kitchen and rushed to the tank. The crew immediately took cover in the tank, and Ivan Sereda jumped onto the armor. When the tankers opened fire from a machine gun, Ivan Sereda bent the machine gun barrel with ax blows, and then closed the viewing slots of the tank with a piece of tarpaulin. Then he began to knock on the armor with the butt of an ax, while giving orders to the Red Army soldiers, who were not around, to throw grenades at the tank. The crew of the tank surrendered, and Ivan Sereda forced them to tie each other's hands at gunpoint. When the Red Army arrived in time, they saw a tank and a bound crew.

History 5.
My grandfather served in aviation. There was a toilet at the field airfield in the distance ... Sitting there, so my grandfather, doing his own thing ... It was getting dark. Knots were knocked out in the wall of the toilet in the boards. So my grandfather noticed three German intelligence officers coming out of the forest. Well, when they approached, he filled them up with a pistol. Received the Order of the Red Star.
The dudes obviously did not expect that they would open fire on them from the toilet ...

History 6.

Memoirs of one of the veterans

At the beginning of December of the same year, 1942, we were on the defensive in the area of ​​the Round Grove. Soon I again had a chance to meet with the foreman. It was so. He comes up to me and says:
- At the direction of the platoon commander, they singled out three soldiers for me. We need to bring a hot lunch and vodka from the field kitchen. It is two kilometers from our front line, in the forest.
I carried out the order. The foreman with three fighters took empty canisters and went to the company kitchen. To reach it, they had to go through the forest, then go through a small clearing in which there was not a single tree, and then go back into the forest, where the kitchen was.
The unexpected happened (although can you call it unexpected in a war?). When leaving the forest, one of the fighters was killed. Fortunately for the survivors, this happened when leaving the forest for a clearing.
The fact is that tanks had previously passed through this clearing, which had made a deep rut. One fighter lay down in it, and the foreman and the other fighter quickly returned to the forest and disguised themselves.
Lying in a rut was in relative safety. He tried to move slowly, crawling across the clearing, but heard the whistle of bullets next to him. However, the soldier was not taken aback.
He quietly took a stick, took off his helmet, put it on a stick and raised it above him. Continuing to move in this position, I heard that the shooting was coming at the helmet. It lasted over an hour. Finally the shooting ended. From fatigue and stress, the fighter dozed off right in the rut ...
The foreman and the fighter, who were in the forest, realized that the German “cuckoo” sniper, who was firing and hiding in a tree, had run out of ammunition. They began to slowly approach this very tree. Approaching the pine tree, they saw the "cuckoo".
The foreman shouted: “Hyundai hoh!” - and began to aim at the German from the machine gun. A rustle was heard. From above flew a rifle with an optical sight. Then the shooter himself went down.
The foreman and the fighter searched him, took away his weapon, lighter and smoking pipe. The German was sorry to part with the pipe. Mumbling incomprehensible words, he began to cry. The tube was really great. It depicted a dog's head with glassy eyes. When the smoker drew in the smoke, the dog's eyes began to glow.
After making sure that the former sniper was disarmed, the foreman pointed his finger at him - they say, go where you shot, there Russian Ivan lies in a tank track, bring him to us.
The German understood and approached the sleeping soldier.
“Rus Ivan, com,” said the fascist. The fighter woke up and saw a German in front of him. The foreman with the second fighter, having observed what was happening, laughed. Those two were not laughing. The foreman patted the shoulder of the man lying in the tank rut and said:
- Instead of a hundred grams, you get half a liter and a can of American stew. Thus ended this tragic and at the same time funny story.
Unfortunately, due to the prescription of years, the names of the characters have been forgotten by me. Not a single meeting of brother-soldiers of the 80th Guards Luban Order of Kutuzov Rifle Division took place without memories of this curious incident.

In war, of course, as in war, however, comic situations also happened .

1941 During active preparations for the attack on the USSR, the Germans, as you know, did everything they could to hide their true plans, exposing the supposedly impending landing on the British Isles.
One of the means to intimidate the enemy was the placement on the coast of France of several airfields-dummy, which housed a significant number of wooden copies of German fighters.
Work on the creation of these dummies was in full swing when one day in broad daylight a lone British plane appeared in the air and dropped a single bomb on the "airfield".
She turned out to be wooden. After this incident, the Germans stopped all this kind of work ....

The story with the airfield had the following continuation. After the British dropped a wooden bomb, the Germans decided: we will place real planes on this false airfield, because the British, knowing that
this airfield is false, they will take them for models. Two days after the transfer of German aircraft, the British again bombed this airfield. But already real bombs. At the end of the bombing
a pennant was dropped with the words: "But this is another matter!"

41st year. Our KV-1 tank stalled in no man's land. The Germans knocked on the armor for a long time, offered the crew to surrender, but he refused. Then the Germans hooked the KV with two of their light tanks to pull
our tank to its location, and open it without interference. The calculation turned out to be incorrect. When they started towing, our tank started up (apparently there was a "pusher launch".), and dragged the German tanks
to our location. The German tankers were forced to leave their tanks, and the KV dragged them to our positions.

During the Polish campaign, during the capture of Vilna, one of our BTs came under fire from Polish anti-tank guns. He was under this fire for more than an hour, supporting his infantry, until he was finally knocked out.
Examining after the battle, 21 holes were counted in it. Of the bullets that made them, only the last one hit the engine and smashed it, and one more grazed the leg of the crew commander. All other hits
did not affect the combat capability of the tank. This and a number of similar cases were the reason for our abandonment of the production of anti-tank rifles.

In 1939, experiments were carried out in the USSR on landing tanks. They tested the drop of the T-38 on the water. After successful experiments, a "brilliant" idea was born - to carry out the reset of the T-38 on the water with the crew.
The reset was carried out, and fortunately, the crew received only minor injuries, after which they were awarded orders. No more such experiments were made.

In 1944, the Yak-9K aircraft, armed with a 45-mm cannon (!), went into production.
There was such a case: Four Yak-9K regiments of Major Kleshchev met four Focke-Wulf 190s, which, unaware of our weapons, went on a frontal attack. Ours accepted it. One volley, and 3 German
the planes were torn to shreds. The last German barely left, very surprised at the result of the frontal attack. And this regiment shot down 106 aircraft in 2.5 months.

For a year and a half in World War I, the Germans could not shoot down the Ilya Muromets heavy aircraft, which gave rise to the legend of its powerful armor protection. Only at the end of 1916, a whole bunch of German
fighters fell on the lone Ilya Muromets, which was conducting deep reconnaissance. The battle lasted about an hour and the Germans failed to shoot it down. The plane made an emergency landing, shooting all the tapes
onboard machine guns and even cartridges from Mausers, only after the failure of 3 out of 4 engines. The Germans discovered more than 300 holes, which plunged them into complete despondency.

On June 25, 1941, two batteries of a German infantry division near Melniki (Army Group Center) were completely destroyed in hand-to-hand combat by units of Soviet troops leaving the encirclement.

From World War I. The boat UB-17 and its captain became famous for the fact that the captain, seeing an ordinary English transport through the periscope, decided to attack it with torpedoes. Since there was no guard nearby, he
decided to surface, and fired a torpedo at the transport, in which, apparently, there was nothing special - so, he only transported trucks on deck. It turned out that the transport was thus disguised,
and he was actually transporting ammunition, which, detonating, sent one of the trucks flying, which, falling on the boat, drowned it with the entire crew ...

At the very end of the First World War, the famous writer J. Hasek, the author of the unforgettable Schweik, served in the Austro-Hungarian army. One day he came across a group of our soldiers (ten people).
fought back, decided to surrender. And our soldiers were so tired of dying for the capitalists and bloodsuckers of the working people (even the agitation helped quite well) that they forced Hasek to accept by force of arms
them capitulation. And he returned to the unit with them and with a donkey loaded with rifles.

During the 2nd World War, a Turkish submarine sank with almost the entire crew due to the fact that the cook had burnt cutlets and he, without informing anyone, opened the hatch to ventilate the room. A boat
was on the surface, after a while the captain gave the order "urgent dive" and ... the boat sank. Only the captain survived - he was on the bridge and managed to jump off.

From the memoirs of the late General Lebed.
"One of the T-62 tanks fired, taking up a position on a small, very flat field under the purely symbolic shelter of two or three stunted trees. Before a platoon of Afghans concentrated under cover
tank and quite randomly fired on the slopes. A feature of the T-62 is that the spent cartridge case is extracted out through a small hatch at the back of the turret.
The tanker slowly moved the barrel, looking for a target. Found. Shot. The turret spat out the cartridge case. which hit the face and chest of an Afghan soldier. Two of his comrades, having put their machine guns on the fuse and switched
put them in a position behind their backs, dragged the bruised one somewhere to the rear. The rest huddled even tighter behind the tank and continued to fire even more energetically. Shot. Another soldier caught a cartridge case, and two comrades
dragged him to the rear. Before my eyes, within one minute, the platoon melted by one third. Truly, eccentrics adorn the world."

A long time ago they told such a case on the Soviet-Chinese border in the 70s or 80s of the last century (when there was a situation on the verge of conflict). Chinese border guards put a toilet in the immediate vicinity
proximity to the KSP in such a way that, going out of great need, they showed their skinny ass to our Great and Mighty Motherland. Then our border guards, using Russian ingenuity, put on our side
right in front of their toilet is a portrait of the then Chinese General Secretary.
The Chinese had to rearrange the toilet ...

About the fighters of the invisible front.

Recently there was a program about our current counterintelligence officers. They told such a case... A nimble diplomat wound up in the American embassy, ​​after whom the outdoors could not trace everything.
He left the embassy in a car and evaded surveillance through the Moscow gates. Our counterintelligence officers are terribly tired of this business and they made a trick ... Once again, an American diplomat
flies on his wheelbarrow along the Moscow gates from ours and then CRASH ... The car went to a landfill, the diplomat to intensive care ... Ours, in the dark part of the arch, in one of the yards dug a steel pole.

In 1944, the Japanese adopted the Ki-84 Hayate fighter. According to the performance characteristics, it was a powerful machine: at an altitude of 6000 m it overtook all the Allied fighters! But they did not cause much harm to the Americans.
There were many reasons for this, but here is one of them: the engine of this Japanese miracle of technology had to be disassembled and washed AFTER EVERY FLIGHT!!!

The teacher said during the couple:

He worked as an instructor in Vietnam, taught the Viet Cong how to handle Dvina missiles ...

This means that the missiles themselves with launchers, as a rule, were located in the fishing lines, so as not to be seen from the air ahead of time. It was then 1968 or 1969... He no longer remembered exactly.
And in the intervals between "firing", the rocket men lived an ordinary life: they cleaned and washed rockets, studied and guarded objects. And now the alarm sounds: there are "candy wrappers" with "thunders" (F105 - thunderchif -
was then used as an interceptor to guard candy wrappers with bombs), all rocketmen, who is where, and how they are dressed - it doesn’t matter, roll into the bunker, removing covers from missiles on the go and don’t notice much in the confusion ...
A volley follows, more than one battery fires - there were a lot of them - three candy wrappers and one thunder fall, the rest - tear ... A parachutist flies from one of the candy wrappers. Joyful Vietnamese peasants with AK-47 at the ready,
rush to the rice field, where he should fall ... ours chase after them, shouting: "we need him alive!" Well, they run up and a silent scene: a pilot falls to the ground, alive, but he has a belt hanging on his chest
secret (at that time) Soviet AKM-59 assault rifle! Maybe it's our pilot? No, definitely not ours. Who then sold the machine to him?

disassembly begins and it turns out that the lieutenant’s machine gun “so-and-so” is not in place, it’s on the lieutenant’s shoulder ... And by the numbers (only Soviet advisers at that time in Vietnam were armed with AKMs, and
they were numbered), this machine is his! Here comes the joy...

The security officers arrived, took the lieutenant and the pilot with them, then, however, they let the lieutenant go and, but with the strictest order, not to let him go on business trips again! And all why?

And here's what happened:
They washed the rocket, and the rocket has a PVD sensor on the nose, the machine gun interfered, and l-t hung it on a belt on this tube ... Then there was an alarm, it was no longer up to machine guns, the order was a volley and the rocket, "pressing" it to itself
machine gun, went to the enemy plane ... Further, more "laughter" ... An explosion never comes from contact - it is non-contact. The rocket exploded 6 meters from the aircraft, as striking elements, except for steel
rods, the machine gun flew too ... But - it resists air more, it was thrown a little into the air ... During the explosion, the catapult accidentally went off under the Amer pilot, him, along with the chair
thrown up, and when the parachute opened, according to the pilot, then something hit him on the neck from above, he lost consciousness, which is why he also could not explain the origin of the appearance of the machine gun
on his chest - for the machine gun fell on him, already falling down - the speeds were high, but the seat, apparently, had not yet come off the pilot, because the machine gun belt did not cut the pilot's neck ...

This is how planes were sometimes shot down by machine guns ... :)

I can't vouch for the truth, but it went like this:
During Brezhnev's rule, there were constantly small skirmishes on the Soviet-Chinese border. And after the death of Leonid Ilyich, Andropov came to power. He summoned the Chinese ambassador and in an informal meeting
warned that if there is another provocation, let them kick themselves.
The Chinese missed this by ear, because. there was another skirmish, of course with losses on our part. Then Andropov ordered to put 12 hailstones on one site, I don’t remember the name, and open fire ......
In general, the Chinese calmed down after that. And the pilots who fly over this area are surprised that the grass does not grow on the Chinese side.

Arab-Israeli War, Egypt

The Soviet Air Force squadron was in the middle of the desert. The only entertainment is sorties. Water is strictly limited, they didn’t even wash their hands, but cleaned them with special paste from a tube. In short, silence. During some
great Arab holiday announced that "today we are not at war." The pilots finally decided to relax.
But at the end of this celebration of life, an order came from the headquarters for an urgent flight to intercept, because. surprisingly, the Jews had a different opinion on the schedule for today.
An order, there is an order, and those pilots who were still on their feet helped load their friend into the cockpit, because he could no longer do this and ... The MiG flew away. Somewhere in 5-10 minutes, they suddenly realized what they had done
and ... at the moment sobered up. The one who flew away was a Hero of the Soviet Union, the best ace of the regiment, and so on and so forth... A TRIBUNAL?
But after a while the plane appeared again over the airfield and even ... sat down. Everyone rushed to the car. The lantern opened and our Hero fell into the hands of his friends with a happy smile... victoriously raising
up 2 (or 3?, don't remember:confused:) fingers! He shot down 2 Mirages!

On modern on airplanes, any hand shake causes the car to roll from side to side. Therefore, the condition of our pilot led to the fact that the MiG behaved in the air as it was typical for
inexperienced Arab pilot. "But under the skin of the lamb lurked a lion!" :lol: What did the Israelis fall for.

Another case. It was after the war. The Russian officer was driven by a German, as there were not enough of his own.
They go once and then the car breaks down. The German looked and said he couldn't fix it. Some part is out of order. The narrator didn't mention which one. They are smoking. Another car is driving towards me.
They stop her and ask for help. The Russian driver looked, scratched his head, looked around and took this detail out of the beets that grew nearby in the field. "Here you are not far away - eat up," - said and
went further. The German sat down, started and drove 5 km. to the destination. Then the German officer says: "Now I understand why you won the war !!!"

After the war, a great many different warehouses were formed
weapons, trophy and our own, in the open, which, according to army habit, had to be guarded day and night.
And they had a battalion commander there, very angry, who also "especially liked to check the posts after ..."
and sent a lot of soldiers to the camps, build dams, etc. In those Stalinist times, they gave a lot for sleeping on duty right away, as the enemy of the people was given a lot ...
Everyone was very afraid of him, but physiology took its toll, and the soldiers, no, no, and fell asleep at the post, fortunately, it was necessary to stand with a 3-line rifle, leaning on
with your back against the wall, and with your chin on a rifle, you could pokimar standing ...
And this rifle has one feature, the shutter opens, if slowly, then silently, and in the rear position, when the trigger is pressed, it falls out completely. (for
purges, etc.) Here the battalion commander somehow crept up to one post, and the soldier sleeps, standing. He quietly removed the bolt from that rifle, and went to check further posts. In a minute
the soldier woke up and realized that he was a skiff ... And since. these were front-line soldiers who survived not in such conditions, and they had seen enough death, he quickly realized and ran in the other direction, to
next post, and asked a friend for a shutter. (All parts are interchangeable)
He returned to his post, loaded his rifle and was waiting for the battalion commander. Because everything happens at night, in conditions of poor visibility, it is necessary according to the charter, having heard steps, to call out to the one walking, to stop, and there begins
approach procedure. What did the battalion commander spit on, because he had a bolt in his pocket.
This is what the soldier took advantage of, slamming a bullet into an outsider at the post right between the eyes. Then he took his shutter, returned it to his neighbor. And called the guard to the incident.
So everything was written off ... And no one else secretly checked the posts ...

Our scouts got into the habit of taking the language from the Germans. The Germans were tired of it. Began to be vigilant. You won't get through. Well, ours crawled through at night, tied the cable to the barbed wire, on which
Germans tin cans hung. And from 8 pm they began to pull her.
How the Germans began to get nervous. Run around, shoot. Ours are sitting in a trench, laughing, but the German is not sleeping.;) Nervous. They kept it up until 3 am. They cured the Germans' nervous system. He stopped responding. After
why ours slipped and got hold of their tongues.

Cannons from the time of the Russian-Turkish war fought near Moscow.
It would seem that in that grandiose battle that took place on the outskirts of the capital in the winter of 1941, every detail was investigated and everything has long been known, however ...
Few people know that in one of the sectors of the front, Russian cannons, made at the Imperial Gun Factory in Perm as early as 1877, played a decisive role. And it was in the Solnechnogorsk area -
Krasnaya Polyana, where the 16th Army, drained of blood by long battles, under the command of Konstantin Rokossovsky, fought.
K.K. Rokossovsky turned to G.K. Zhukov with a request for urgent help with anti-tank artillery. However, the front commander no longer had it in reserve. The request reached the Supreme Commander.
Stalin's reaction was immediate: "I don't have anti-tank artillery reserves either. But in Moscow there is the F.E. Dzerzhinsky Military Artillery Academy. There are many experienced artillerymen there.
Let them think and report on a possible solution to the problem within 24 hours."

Indeed, back in 1938, the artillery academy, founded in 1820, was transferred from Leningrad to Moscow. But in October 1941, she was mostly evacuated to Samarkand.
About a hundred officers and employees remained in Moscow. Training artillery was also taken to Samarkand. But the order had to be obeyed.
A lucky break helped. An elderly man worked at the academy, who knew well the locations of artillery arsenals in Moscow and in the Moscow suburbs, where worn-out and
very old artillery systems, shells and equipment for them. One can only regret that time did not preserve the name of this person and the names of all other employees of the academy, who during the day
complied with the order and formed several fire batteries of anti-tank defense of high power.
To fight German medium tanks, they picked up old 6-inch siege guns, which were used even during the liberation of Bulgaria from the Turkish yoke, and later in the Russo-Japanese war
1904-1905 After the end of it, due to the severe wear of the barrels of the guns, these were delivered to the Mytishchi arsenal, where they were stored in mothballed form. Shooting from them was not safe,
but they could still withstand 5-7 shots.

As for the shells, the Sokolniki artillery depot had a large number of captured English Vickers high-explosive fragmentation shells of the Vickers company, caliber 6 inches and weighing 100 feet, then
there are just over 40 kilograms. There were also primers and powder charges recaptured from the Americans during the civil war. All this property has been kept since 1919 so carefully that it could well have been
be used for its intended purpose.
Soon several firing batteries of heavy anti-tank artillery were formed. Students of the academy and officers sent from military registration and enlistment offices became commanders, and Red Army soldiers and students became servants.
8-10 classes of Moscow special artillery schools. The guns did not have sights, so it was decided to shoot only direct fire, pointing them at the target through the barrel. For the convenience of firing guns
dug into the ground up to the hubs of wooden wheels.

German tanks appeared suddenly. The first shots were fired by gun crews from a distance of 500-600 m. German tankers at first took the explosions of shells for the action of anti-tank mines. Judging
all around, the "mines" had very great power. In the event of a 40-kilogram shell burst near the tank, the latter turned over on its side or stood on its priest. But it soon became clear that they were hitting point-blank
from cannons. A projectile hitting the turret tore it off and threw it tens of meters to the side. And if a 6-inch projectile from a siege gun hit the front of the hull, then it went right through the tank, destroying everything
your way.

The German tankers were horrified - they did not expect this. Having lost a company, the tank battalion retreated. The German command considered the incident an accident and sent another battalion in a different way,
where he also ran into an anti-tank ambush. The Germans decided that the Russians were using some new anti-tank weapon of unprecedented power. The enemy offensive was halted, probably
to clarify the situation.
In the end, Rokossovsky's army won several days on this sector of the front, during which reinforcements arrived and the front stabilized. On December 5, 1941, our troops moved into
counteroffensive and drove the Nazis to the West. It turns out that the Victory of the 45th year, at least to a small extent, was forged by Russian gunsmiths back in the 19th century.

Britain, 1940, near Hull, a Hurricane made an emergency landing, 2 pilots got out of it. A farmer watching the landing gave them tea and then called a nearby airfield.
They sent a car from there.
The pilots spoke impeccable English, but there were suspicions that they were deserters from the British Air Force. The leadership of the Air Force decided to give these people to the tribunal, but the pilots said that
they are... German prisoners of war from the camp in Carline. However, the camp management reported that all the prisoners were in place.
The Air Force command set out to prove at all costs that they were deserters and did a great job, looking all over the country for the unit from which they fled.
Only on the eve of the process, the camp commandant reported that an unscheduled check revealed the absence of 2 prisoners.
It turns out that 2 Luftwaffe pilots, dressed in work overalls, calmly left the gates of the camp. Then they entered the airfield without hindrance, climbed into the Hurricane, took off and headed for
Germany. However, when they reached the coast, they ran out of fuel.
The prisoners were returned to the camp, fairly loaded with gifts from English pilots amused by history.

Germany, Plan "Gelb" has already been developed, final preparations are underway before the offensive ... Two officers of the Wehrmacht General Staff are instructed to deliver secret documents regarding the offensive,
in the grouping of troops located on the border with Belgium. The documents clearly show that Germany will attack France, in short, the Gelb plan in a condensed form.
Well, these officers got on the train and went to the border. They drank, they ate. Of course, not like ours, the Russians drank - a little bit of schnapps, a little bit of Bavarian sausages. They mean they are going. Here at one of the stations they
they meet their either a classmate, or an acquaintance, in short, one Luftwaffe officer. Well, they sat down, drank to the meeting, remembered their youth and the Luftwaffe officer tells them, they say there will be a station soon, there
my unit is located, let's go out, sit down, celebrate the meeting, and then I will take you to the train, which leaves in 2-3 hours. The officers agreed. They left, arrived at the location of the unit, sat down, drank, ate.
It’s already good for them - in a word, they missed the train. They began to tear their hair out, and the Luftwaffe officer told them - they say, calmly, right now, on the plane, we will fly in an instant. His rank was either Major or Colonel.
They got on the plane, as I understood something like our U-2, it means they are flying. It seems that they flew in time, began to descend, the lights of the airfield are already visible - they sat down shorter. They go out, (shouting "Heil Hitler" (joke), see to
fighters go to him, looked closely - the Belgians. Well, they are in a panic, they say they will figure it out right now, they will look at the documents and there will be no war.
The Belgians came up, well, they checked the documents there, all that - the Germans - they say they got lost, forgive me, let me go. The Belgians took them to the checkpoint, sit, wait - right now, they say we will find out what to do. They asked for command, and
then he says to them, they say, let go, since it’s not far to the border, we don’t need complications with Germany and tydy and typy. While the car was called, for now and then, the officers at the checkpoint decided to burn secret documents - only in
they put the stove in, (well, I won’t say that, as luck would have it, they didn’t have matches, but the gas ran out in the lighter), how the Belgians come in, tell them they say, that’s it, you’ll go home right now, and they see that the Germans are burning something.
Selected, revered - oh, insidious Hitler, he wanted to attack us. Documents to the General Staff, the Germans were also sent somewhere. Understand. Such documents fell into the hands. Back and forth, the Germans were soon handed over
their own, and those in the Gestapo. As soon as they found out what had happened - everyone began to run, jump - what to do, the plans are known to the French. It came to the Fuhrer. "Our" officers, all three, are already in the Gestapo up to the fifth knee
split, they say, enemies and tydy and typy. Herr Hitler apparently thought - altering the plan will take time, resources, the moment of surprise of the attack will disappear, the troops will also be relocated and called Canaris,
they say we need to make it so that the French think that we slipped them misinformation, and we will attack according to the old plan. So we decided. "Our" officers from the Gestapo to the hotel, awards to them, promotions,
in the newspapers, they say how we all deceived both tydy and typy.
In the meantime, the French and allies read the documents, thought, intelligence also reported here, they say, indeed, those officers are for awards, the troops on the border are standing just as it is written in the plan - this is not good,
Clearly Hitler is cheating. We thought about it and decided that this disinformation is full of water.
And the Fritz a couple of days later, without redeployment, as it is written in the Gelb plan, they attacked and defeated everyone. As German intelligence later said, the Allies did nothing to prepare for the attack,
relocated, not this, not that.
The whole disinformation operation took the Germans about a week, and then all the officers were sent to the Eastern Front. The awards and titles have been preserved.

The history of the First World War, not a bike.
In the Mediterranean, one of the German submarines delivered a cargo of rifles and other weapons to some of the Arab tribes in North Africa, who were spoiling the Italians. In response, the grateful leader of the tribe gave
Germans white, it seems, a camel. In order not to spoil relations with the allies, the Germans accepted the gift. Since the animal obviously did not pass into the hatch of the submarine, they tied it to the periscope, they established what it would be like
depth when immersed, but so that the camel's head still sticks out above the water. We went back to our base in the Adriatic and managed to deliver the gift. And several times to dive them
had to. Once it happened near some fishing schooners. You can imagine how the fishermen felt when the head of a furiously yelling camel swam near them!

1944. Western Ukraine. The T-34 got stuck in a ravine. Naturally, I couldn’t get out.
German mat, they pulled out the tank. And he took it, and went to his trenches. The Germans, frightened, reversed, and the T-34 contemptuously sneezed with the engine, pulled himself up and pulled them along. the upper hatch, but received a fragment in the head and calmed down, spreading his brains.
As a result, ours returned on their own, dragged 4 prisoners and a trophy on a rope.

It is known that the German command, just before the start of the offensive against the USSR, threw various kinds of saboteurs into the territory of the Soviet Union - and especially in the form of officers of the Red Army.
When hostilities began in the very first weeks of the war, many saboteurs were discovered and liquidated. Documents were the reason for this. No, with seals, signatures and paper - everything was in
okay, but... the metal clips with which the military certificates were stitched were made of stainless metal (while the Soviet originals were covered with
rust). This is how the German quality of their agents ruined.

In the glorious city of Elektrostal, Moscow region. (former Calm station during the Second World War), one grandfather, a hereditary metallurgist, worked at the metallurgical plant of the same name named after People's Commissar E. Tevosyan
in the Nth generation, honored order bearer, honorary citizen, etc. etc. In general, a person with whom not only the director of the plant, but even the secretary of the city party committee always greeted first, for a long time
asking about life...
In general, this grandfather knew, as usual, a wildly many different entertaining stories, one of which just concerned the Germans, our ShKASs and about whether it is easy to tear something from another.
Grandfather said what the Germans say, well, they just liked our aviation machine gun ShKAS Uddet (their People's Commissar for the military industry), so he just went into hysterics and drank miserably
schnapps, and only because it was impossible to tear this ShKAS at German factories.
Allegedly, the meticulous German would seem to take into account everything, and he would pick up the necessary German analogues of the steel grade at the Thyssen and Krupp factories, repeat everything micron to micron, but the machine gun did not work out. It seems that at first everything
goes normally, the German twin, as expected, shows a terrible rate of fire, and then suddenly a crack-s and broke. Either one or the other.
And the Russian ShKASik, meanwhile, shoots and shoots, and he doesn’t care, he doesn’t even think about breaking.

In general, the grandfather told everyone present in a terrible secret (which everyone in Elektrostal already knew, probably) that it turns out that some springs on the Russian ShKAS were made very intricately. and material
to these springs, a spring tape with wire, just what they did in Calm.

The secret was (approximately)
First, several special grades of spring steel were brewed. Usually this smelting was entrusted to one single team at the plant, which knew how to do this best of all, metallurgists even took into account
certain weather conditions on the street (temperature, humidity, cloudiness), opening the roof of the workshop wide open on purpose. Maybe even the priests baptized each such melting, grandfather no longer remembered exactly
But, like, it wasn't that easy from the start.
Then the resulting castings, as usual, were forged, and after a long cycle of hot drawing through the dies, thin wires were gradually obtained from them.

Further, factory craftswomen (only women were allowed to do this work) with the help of special equipment, braids were woven from wire. Each pigtail, depending on the future purpose of the spring,
had its own special weaving pattern: wires of a different set of steel grades were woven into it in a certain order, the number and diameter of the wires in the "braid" was also different from time to time.
Further, these pigtails were woven together into even larger braids, those into even larger ones, etc. until they received such a "wattle fence", as thick as a hand. Next, this wattle was heated in an oven to a plastic state and
forged in the forge shop to a single dense forming either a strip or a bar. And only then, already from the resulting workpiece, they rolled either a tape, for tape springs, or pulled a wire,
for wire, respectively.

Steel in this form was already sent to our arms factories, where they were made of ordinary-looking, unremarkable springs.
And the poor Germans, meanwhile, just got tired of it already, that they just didn’t go far, but everything breaks down with them. It seems that the chemical composition is the same, and the X-ray and microscopic analysis of domains have become the same, and
hardness after quenching and the spring is also calibrated after captivity in exactly the same way. But no, a machine gun shoots a little and German steel breaks, what are you going to do!

The secret was clear. Roughly speaking, in the memory of the metal of the spring, when it was still the original pigtail of different wires
I couldn’t detect why the Germans made a mistake with a copy of ShKAS.
That was the story.

More recently, in the magazine World of Weapons I read that it turns out that it was the Russians in the 20s who held the palm in the use of "wicker" springs in automatic weapons. Next pulled up
pendosy and Germans in the late 30s.

A wooden bomb, an army of retired conquistadors, and a white ham flag. We recall the main curiosities of world military history. Who served in the army, he is unlikely to laugh ...

Stop, car

At the beginning of World War II, heavy KV-1s were very popular with the Red Army (this is not the time-worn abbreviation KVN, but the initials of Marshal Klim Voroshilov). The tank weighed 47 tons and terrified not only the enemy, but also the tankers themselves, because it was almost impossible to ride it due to problems with the chassis. But even a paralyzed tank is worse than a pile of civilian scrap metal. This story is proof of that. In 1941, another KV-1 stalled in no man's land. Enemies immediately rolled out harmonicas for a tasty trophy. They knocked on the armor for a long time and offered the crew to surrender. Our German did not understand, so they did not give up. After the battle, there was no ammunition left to smoke them out, so the Nazis short-sightedly took the KV-1 in tow with two light tanks. They pulled it - and brought the Soviet heavyweight, as they say, from the pusher! After that, the KV-1 easily, like a couple of cans, dragged the enemy vehicles to the location of the Soviet troops.



Turetsky's demarche

In the early 70s, Turkish student pilots were gaining flying skills at the air base in Pompano Beach (USA). During the next flight, the engine of one of the training aircraft stalled, which the pilot reported to the dispatcher, not without alarm. The answer followed immediately: “The base is for the Turkish board! Catapult!" Hearing this, all Turkish pilots pressed the eject seat button. As a result, the United States lost six still fairly new A-4 Skyhawk carrier-based attack aircraft: one with a stalled engine and five absolutely serviceable ...

Diamond of his soul

In the 15th century, the Duke of Burgundy Charles with the nickname Bold dreamed of conquering Europe and believed in the magical power of the 55-carat Sancy diamond, which he wore in his helmet in the manner of a cockade. Once, in a battle with the army of Louis X, a pebble really helped him. At that time, the duke was offered to fight the strongest warrior of the enemy and thereby decide the outcome of the battle. Karl accepted the challenge, famously drove into the outlined circle and, squinting, stood up against the sun - under the stormy ridicule of the enemies. When the knights approached, Karl behaved even more strangely - he began to turn his head (his) furiously. Of course, these convulsions could not but cause a new wave of laughter. What was the surprise of the fighters when the duke's rival began to blink, and then completely closed his eyes with his hands. The diamond in the helmet of the Burgundian simply blinded him! Charles the Bold could only pierce the unfortunate warrior with a spear. Which he did.

So let's eat!

Once, in 1746, the French stormed the British Fort St. George in the East Indies (the war was fought for commercial and colonial primacy). A quick victory did not work out, and the attackers spent a year and a half in despondency under the walls of the besieged fortress. The French did not receive provisions: in off-road conditions, pack elephants got stuck up to their ears in the mud. The once brave warriors reached an extreme degree of exhaustion and fell into a hungry swoon. The garrison of the English fortress uninterruptedly received provisions from the sea (the fort was prudently built on the shore). At the end of the fifteenth month of the siege, an English soldier raised a good piece of ham on his bayonet for a laugh. Two battalions of the French, swallowing saliva, completely laid down.



Pinocchio complex

Imagine: in 1943, in the sky over Holland, the pilots of the British Air Force pressed the aces of the Luftwaffe. Moreover, they also managed to inflict well-aimed bombing strikes on enemy ground units. To divert attacks from strategically important objects, the Germans built a fake wooden airfield, and the real hangars were carefully disguised. The project came out large-scale: wooden, hangars, towers with searchlights. Anti-aircraft guns protruded menacingly from the ground and were ready to meet the enemy with the power of all the trunks cut down in the nearest grove. Fortunately, the plan was not successful. All work had to be stopped after an English bomber flew over the wooden airfield, dropping a single bomb on the fake planes. Donnervetter! She was also made of wood! This example alone would allow us to appreciate the subtlety of English humor. However, the story is not over. After dropping a wooden bomb, it was decided to urgently replace all the mock-ups with real fighters: the British would decide that the airfield was still not real, and would not fly to bomb it again! Alas, a small mistake crept into this excellent plan: the British flew in - and with ordinary bombs they smashed the Nazi planes to pieces. At the end of the operation, a pennant was dropped on the heads of the despondent Hans with mocking words: “But this is another matter!”





Only old people go to battle

In the 16th century, the Spanish conquistadors began the non-peaceful development of the virgin lands of America. The decrepit lord Ponce de Leon also decided to put together his detachment: his friends told him that in a distant land there are springs that restore youth to a person. Wanting to save on recruits, de Leon recruited the oldest and sickest soldiers into the detachment, and with these antiques he landed on the peninsula, later called Florida. Senseless water procedures in all sources in a row continued until a strange group of athletes were killed by warlike Indians of the surrounding tribes

And im all mao

In relations between the two great neighbors, the USSR and China, things never came to an open war. However, by the 1950s, ideological differences and banal suspicion had so inflamed the situation on the border that a local conflict began there. At first, the Chinese ran along the border with posters depicting Mao Zedong, menacingly looking down. In response, Soviet soldiers in front of each portrait put together a temporary toilet without a back wall. However, ours did not manage to soak the enemy in the toilet: the Chinese quickly caught on and replaced the images of Mao with posters with bare asses. What to do? The Soviet border guards, without hesitation, moved the toilets, and in front of the Chinese asses they had already placed their portraits of Mao. This confrontation ended: not wanting to get involved, the Chinese removed all the posters.

Themselves with stones

In the XV-XVI centuries, the Turks were recognized leaders in the production of gunpowder siege weapons. The caliber of their most powerful guns reached 920 mm (for comparison: the caliber of the Tsar Cannon is 890). But these giants were able to make war even in the First World War. When the Anglo-French squadron successfully stormed the forts in the Dardanelles, the desperate Turks rolled out 20 cannons to defend the strait, firing stone cannonballs weighing 400 kg. The destructive power of such a projectile is ridiculous to measure in TNT equivalent, because it could not penetrate the armor. But the fact remains: when the first of the launched nuclei crashed into the side of the Agamemnon battleship, the captain in horror ordered to leave the battlefield - probably deciding that asteroids had begun to fall into the bay. The battle was won without him, but the poor fellow suffered from ridicule for a long time.



Like plywood over a barn

Our craftsmen also made wooden planes, and they also managed to fly on them. For example, the celestial slow-moving U-2, which the Germans contemptuously called "Russian plywood", was popular. Due to the low speed characteristics of the U-2, flights on them were made at night so that the enemy would not see. During the day, such aircraft only amazed the imagination of German pilots, and even then with their caricatured appearance. History has preserved only one case, when the U-2 pilot emerged victorious from the fight with the Fritz fighter. Here is how it was. Having run into the enemy in the air, the Soviet pilot, without hesitation, landed (a light car could land on any garden bed) and hid the plane behind a shed that turned up. The enraged German ace, who did not have enough space for landing, shot the wall of the shed, flew past and began to go in for a second maneuver. Our pilot described an arc and hid behind another wall. Fritz again went into a dive. This cat-and-mouse continued until the fighter flew off in disgrace, having used up almost all its fuel.



Writing off is not good

After the Great Patriotic War, the old minesweeper Oka served in the Baltic Fleet for the benefit of the Fatherland. Against the background of his peers, he stood out for his catchy appearance, because at the time of the foggy shipboard youth, the Oka was a personal imperial yacht and bore the name Shtandart. The interior of the ship consisted of: mahogany furniture in the wardroom, paintings, carpets and vases with the monograms of Nicholas II. Even the brilliance of the Oka coppers aroused admiration. But the years took their toll: in the late 50s, the ship was withdrawn from the active fleet. In retirement, Oka still managed to earn money in the cinema, starring in the film Midshipman Panin, after which she was finally written off. It was an exciting moment for the crew, and not only because of the bitterness of farewell to the ship. It’s just that from a decommissioned ship you can always grab something that stirred the soul. In the end, everything was ripped apart. And documents flowed to the headquarters of the Baltic Fleet from the Oka. One of them read: “During a difficult passage through the stormy Indian Ocean, a storm wave, breaking the porthole, burst into the wardroom, tore off the Persian carpet from the wall and carried it to the open sea.” The head of the logistics of the Kronstadt naval base, who certified this act, smiled sadly into his mustache and added from below: "The piano, apparently, too."

Warlords are joking

Great people can also have a sense of humor. Once the head of the Engineering Department of the Russian Imperial Army, Lieutenant General Tuchkov, began to grumble at Suvorov: they say that he does not bring maps of his campaigns to the department, although he is obliged to! Suvorov admitted his mistake, disappeared for two hours - and brought Tuchkov the largest map of Europe he could find. No more claims were made against him.

An experienced officer knows many ways to sabotage a command order that is stupid, from his point of view, and at the same time not formally violate anything. Great Admiral Nelson in such cases, with the humor inherent in the British, brought a telescope to a gouged eye, looked at the signal flags for a long time and announced to the whole deck: “I don’t see an order! We will act as God tells us!”